Chapter 4 - Forget us Not Part 1 of 2
Hanako...
How can that be? Hanako doesn't exist. She was just a dream, brought on by my coma.
"Iwanako I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She doesn't acknowledge me, so I ask again.
"Iwanako?" She turns to me, and with fire in her eyes she yells...
"My name is not Iwanako!" She inhales sharply.
"It's Hanako!" With that, she dashes out of the room crying, and up the stairs to our bedroom.
I wait to go after her, deciding it is best if she have a few minutes to calm down. After getting everything cleaned up, and finding the pill bottle she thew down. I go upstairs to see if she has calmed down. I knock on the door lightly.
"I... Hanako?" I'm about to call her Iwanako, but decide that it would only upset her further. If she says her name is Hanako right now, then addressing her as such might keep her from becoming more upset. It'll hopefully help to keep her calm so I can get an explanation from her.
"Hisao?" She says, from behind the bedroom door.
“W-What do you want?” It sounds like she is still crying. Her voice trembles as she speaks.
“I just want to talk to you Hanako.” I wait a few minutes before responding. When I am about to try again, the door clicks open. Standing there is Iwanako.
“A-Alright, What do you want t-to talk about?” Her eyes are red and teary from the crying she's been doing. I haven't seen her like this before, and it pains me to see it knowing that our relationship was starting to get back to, for the most part, a sense of normalcy.
"I wanted to talk about you. You ran out so fast I didn't have time to bandage your finger, is it alright?" Looking at her hand I can see that it is only rapped in a towel.
"Would you mind if I took care of it properly for you? I don't want you to get an infection." She nods and we go downstairs where I left the bandages and antiseptic.
She doesn't say much as I doctor her hand. After I clean and wrap her finger in a bandage, she speaks to me first and sounding more relaxed than earlier.
"Hisao, I'm s-sorry I got upset earlier. I d-didn't mean to." She looks as though she is on the verge of tears again.
"It's all right, don't worry about it. Can you tell me what's wrong?" She looks away while pulling her hands to her chest.
"I thought t-that maybe you f-forgot about me because you called me Iwanako." I'm still not sure what she means. She is Iwanako, but from the way she is talking I should know her as Hanako too.
"Hanako I'm sorry but I don't remember anything. I was in a coma for a very long time. I only woke up a few months back remember?"
"I r-remember, but I thought you got y-your memory back because you and I have been getting along together so w-well lately."
I'm not sure how that would be possible. If she was Hanako this whole time It couldn't possibly have gone unnoticed. That is, unless her behavior these last couple of weeks was a part of it. Today may very well have been the first time I addressed her so formally. We have gotten so comfortable around one another, that we were calling each other "honey or "sweetie". She must have thought my calling her Iwanako was an indication that my memory was starting to act up.
"My memory is fine Hanako, but I thought you were Iwanako this whole time." Her face sinks as I say this to her.
"I was afraid of t-that, you always treated h-her differently than me."
It would seem that she is aware of her existence. I do feel as though I know her, but I am not quite sure why. After she calms down I think it would be best for me to go visit Troy and get his opinion on the matter.
"I'm sorry Hanako, I didn't mean to forget you. Would you be willing to tell me more about yourself so that I might remember?" She nods in response and we both move to the living room sofa.
"Let's start with how long we have known each other."
"W-We met in highschool a few months after you accepted her confession." It would seem I have known her roughly the same amount of time as Iwanako. Which would mean that I accepted both of them into my life when I found out about Hanako.
"How did we end up meeting?" I say, feeling a bit odd asking how I met "her".
"I t-tend to show up when s-she becomes overly anxious. I met you w-when she went to meet your parents f-for the first time." Now I understand why my parents were so insistent on me staying with them. They must not like me dating someone like her. I nod and for her to continue.
"W-When you found out I was afraid that you would h-hate me, b-but you accepted me. So all of us lived t-together until you had your stroke." At her last statement her face gets gloomy.
"Hey now don't make that face. As pretty as it is, I think you're more beautiful when you smile." A small smile arises as she sits up from the couch.
"T-Thanks." She looks at the clock on the wall while saying this, and then turns to me.
"It's getting late, w-we should probably go to bed." I nod in agreement.
"Thank you for telling me Hanako, I won't forget about you again." I give her a tight hug as I say this, and It feels as though someone important in my life has finally come back.
"P-Promise?" She says looking up at me.
"Promise." I say kissing her on the forehead before we both make our way upstairs to sleep.
What Lies Beneath: Updated 5/15/12 Chapter 5 now up
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WolfStreak
- Posts: 43
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Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/27/12 Chapter 3 now up
Last edited by WolfStreak on Wed May 02, 2012 3:08 am, edited 7 times in total.
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
-
WolfStreak
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:24 pm
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/27/12 Chapter 3 now up
Chapter 4 - Forget us Not Part 2 of 2
I'm sitting in the grass waiting for Emi to finish setting out the contents of the picnic basket she brought with us.
She said that today was way to pretty to sit inside and read all day, so she and I went to the park near the school after our morning run.
"It's nice to do this every once in a while don't you think Hisao?" The smile on her face booms with anticipation as she eyes the final food item she takes out of the basket, cake.
"What, eat cake? Yeah I guess you are right, it does taste good aft..." Before I can finish, an elbow finds it's way into my ribcage.
"Asshole you know what I mean, spending time with you."
"Oh my heart!" I yell out, to which we both laugh.
We start to eat our small lunch under the same tree we always do when we decide to eat outside like this. Emi looks up at the sky as it darkens. It's starting to rain and we quickly pick up our belongings and make haste for the Shanghai. Once inside, Yuuko greets us in her usual manner before leading us to our seats. As she is walking away Emi speaks up.
"Hisao?"
"Yes Emi?"
"Do you love me?"
"Of course Emi, with all of my heart." As I finish this sentence the loud roar of thunder and bright flash of lightning streak across the sky illuminating Emi and everything else in-front of me. Once again waking me from my dream
--------------------------------------------
I sit up in bed and look to see if Hanako is still sleeping, she's not there. I take look at the clock to see what time it is, It's 15 past 10:00, so she is already at work. After taking a shower and eating breakfast, I get ready to head to the train station to pay a visit to Troy.
The train was more crowded than usual. Normally when I ride it to the gym or convenience store it does not have so many people. It reminds me again how much I can sometimes miss being at the secluded Yamaku. Thankfully, the hospital I stayed at is not far by train and I soon arrive at the station. After getting off the train I make my way to the hospital where I meet Troy already waiting for me in the lobby.
"You're late." He says, holding up his watch, tapping it like someone with a busy schedule.
"I'm sorry, while you were waiting for me you must have had an influx in patients." I say, while smirking at him.
"Indeed, and you would not believe the headache some of them can give me!" He and I both laugh.
We make our way up to his office where he sits down at his desk. His computer sits atop it along with mounds of what I assume to be paper work. After he's settled I begin speaking to him.
"Did you get a chance to look up that medication I asked about?" He glances at his computer screen before turning back to me.
"Yes I did. Risperdal, it's an anti psychotic." My body shutters as he says the words "anti psychotic". He sees this and alleviates my concern.
"No need to worry, It's used for more then just patients with psychotic tendencies. It's prescribed as a mood stabilizer in some patients that have been diagnosed with "Dissociative Identity Disorder" or DID for short."
"Do you think that is why Iwanako has it?" I ask sounding more relived now that I know it's not just given to people who go crazy.
"Judging from what you told me about her behavior over the phone, yes I do believe she has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder." If she does in fact have it then that would explain Hanako showing up so suddenly after she stopped taking it.
"Do you think I should try and get her to start taking it again?" He scratches his chin with his hand briefly before answering.
"No, not if it isn't causing any problems anyway."
"No it's not. Last night was the first time we even got into a fight, and it was only because I had forgotten she existed." I'm sure any woman would get upset if the man they love suddenly didn't remember their name.
"Well that settles that matter, but before you go there was something else I started thinking about after you told me that Hanako existed." I raise an eyebrow to his statement as he continues.
"Remembering the fact that Nurse was a manifestation of me in your dream of Yamaku, it's very possible that Hanako is also the same thing. The only difference being that she is a split personality of Iwanako, and from what you tell me she also appeared in your dream."
"So what you're saying is that Yamaku could very well be made out of people I have known or met at some point in my life?"
"Exactly! The other girls you met in your dream are most likely out there somewhere, whether they are a significant part of your life like Hanako and Iwanako are I can't really say."
If what he is saying is true then they could all be out there. The only problem is that when I had asked him to search for Emi that didn't turn up anything, so what hope do I have of finding them? I decide that I have used up enough of Troy's time, and prepare myself to leave.
"Thanks Troy, this means a lot to me." I extend my hand in gratitude. He stands up to return my gesture, but instead pulls me into a hug as he speaks.
"Hey what good are friends and family for if you can't ask them for help when you need it?" He gives me his signature smile as he says this.
"Yeah, I guess you are right."
"Of course I'm right, I'm a doctor. Now if you'll excuse me I have to call my wife. She and I are expecting a baby soon, and when the time comes I hope I can count on you to babysit." I smile at him as I nod.
He and I part ways and I express one more thank you before turning to leave. Just as I am leaving, I can faintly hear his voice as he speaks to his wife...
"Yuuko, How are you doing sweetheart I just got fin..."
I don't hear the rest as the elevator door closes, but I get the feeling I have heard that name before.
--------------------------------------------
The train ride home is just as short as it was on the way to the hospital. It didn't take long to arrive at station close to my apartment. As I am walking back I start to think back to the girls that were in Yamaku.
Hanako was the shy girl in my class who had burn scars on her body. Lilly was a good friend of Hanako's that was in a separate class for students that were either partially, or completely blind. Her attitude was always that of a proper lady, in both speech and action. Shizune was the student council president, she always seemed like a by-the-rules type girl who was serious about her studies. Rin was the school's artist that could paint abstract masterpieces with her feet. I never could understand what she was saying, it was like her head was always stuck in the clouds. Finally there was Emi. She was Yamaku's track star, and the woman I fell in love with.
According to Troy, Nurse was my visualization of himself when I stayed in Yamaku. It's his belief that Hanako is more then likely the same thing. The only difference being she is the extra persona belonging to Iwanako. All of them, with the exception of Emi, I had very little contact with. Even though the contact was brief, I had a feeling that I had known them for a very long time. If what Troy says is true, then the rest of the girls must have their own real world counterparts that I'd met during some point of my life. My only problem is finding out who they are, and where to find them.
When I get back home to my apartment I go into the kitchen to fix myself something to eat. There I'm met by a wonderful aroma filling the rest of the apartment and I find Hanako is sitting down with a steaming teakettle on the table in-front of her.
"Hisao, welcome home dear. I'm making tea, but I'm afraid that it is not quite ready yet." She says this in a very elegant manor, one that sounds very familiar...
And as I watch her lift the teakettle up to pour the steaming water into the small teapot, I realize why the girls seemed so familiar. Iwanako and I had known them for years prior to my coma. I had spent a great deal of time with each of them. I knew them so well and for so long. Not because they are friends. Not because they are relatives, but because they are all one and the same.
The person pouring my tea...
I'm sitting in the grass waiting for Emi to finish setting out the contents of the picnic basket she brought with us.
She said that today was way to pretty to sit inside and read all day, so she and I went to the park near the school after our morning run.
"It's nice to do this every once in a while don't you think Hisao?" The smile on her face booms with anticipation as she eyes the final food item she takes out of the basket, cake.
"What, eat cake? Yeah I guess you are right, it does taste good aft..." Before I can finish, an elbow finds it's way into my ribcage.
"Asshole you know what I mean, spending time with you."
"Oh my heart!" I yell out, to which we both laugh.
We start to eat our small lunch under the same tree we always do when we decide to eat outside like this. Emi looks up at the sky as it darkens. It's starting to rain and we quickly pick up our belongings and make haste for the Shanghai. Once inside, Yuuko greets us in her usual manner before leading us to our seats. As she is walking away Emi speaks up.
"Hisao?"
"Yes Emi?"
"Do you love me?"
"Of course Emi, with all of my heart." As I finish this sentence the loud roar of thunder and bright flash of lightning streak across the sky illuminating Emi and everything else in-front of me. Once again waking me from my dream
--------------------------------------------
I sit up in bed and look to see if Hanako is still sleeping, she's not there. I take look at the clock to see what time it is, It's 15 past 10:00, so she is already at work. After taking a shower and eating breakfast, I get ready to head to the train station to pay a visit to Troy.
The train was more crowded than usual. Normally when I ride it to the gym or convenience store it does not have so many people. It reminds me again how much I can sometimes miss being at the secluded Yamaku. Thankfully, the hospital I stayed at is not far by train and I soon arrive at the station. After getting off the train I make my way to the hospital where I meet Troy already waiting for me in the lobby.
"You're late." He says, holding up his watch, tapping it like someone with a busy schedule.
"I'm sorry, while you were waiting for me you must have had an influx in patients." I say, while smirking at him.
"Indeed, and you would not believe the headache some of them can give me!" He and I both laugh.
We make our way up to his office where he sits down at his desk. His computer sits atop it along with mounds of what I assume to be paper work. After he's settled I begin speaking to him.
"Did you get a chance to look up that medication I asked about?" He glances at his computer screen before turning back to me.
"Yes I did. Risperdal, it's an anti psychotic." My body shutters as he says the words "anti psychotic". He sees this and alleviates my concern.
"No need to worry, It's used for more then just patients with psychotic tendencies. It's prescribed as a mood stabilizer in some patients that have been diagnosed with "Dissociative Identity Disorder" or DID for short."
"Do you think that is why Iwanako has it?" I ask sounding more relived now that I know it's not just given to people who go crazy.
"Judging from what you told me about her behavior over the phone, yes I do believe she has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder." If she does in fact have it then that would explain Hanako showing up so suddenly after she stopped taking it.
"Do you think I should try and get her to start taking it again?" He scratches his chin with his hand briefly before answering.
"No, not if it isn't causing any problems anyway."
"No it's not. Last night was the first time we even got into a fight, and it was only because I had forgotten she existed." I'm sure any woman would get upset if the man they love suddenly didn't remember their name.
"Well that settles that matter, but before you go there was something else I started thinking about after you told me that Hanako existed." I raise an eyebrow to his statement as he continues.
"Remembering the fact that Nurse was a manifestation of me in your dream of Yamaku, it's very possible that Hanako is also the same thing. The only difference being that she is a split personality of Iwanako, and from what you tell me she also appeared in your dream."
"So what you're saying is that Yamaku could very well be made out of people I have known or met at some point in my life?"
"Exactly! The other girls you met in your dream are most likely out there somewhere, whether they are a significant part of your life like Hanako and Iwanako are I can't really say."
If what he is saying is true then they could all be out there. The only problem is that when I had asked him to search for Emi that didn't turn up anything, so what hope do I have of finding them? I decide that I have used up enough of Troy's time, and prepare myself to leave.
"Thanks Troy, this means a lot to me." I extend my hand in gratitude. He stands up to return my gesture, but instead pulls me into a hug as he speaks.
"Hey what good are friends and family for if you can't ask them for help when you need it?" He gives me his signature smile as he says this.
"Yeah, I guess you are right."
"Of course I'm right, I'm a doctor. Now if you'll excuse me I have to call my wife. She and I are expecting a baby soon, and when the time comes I hope I can count on you to babysit." I smile at him as I nod.
He and I part ways and I express one more thank you before turning to leave. Just as I am leaving, I can faintly hear his voice as he speaks to his wife...
"Yuuko, How are you doing sweetheart I just got fin..."
I don't hear the rest as the elevator door closes, but I get the feeling I have heard that name before.
--------------------------------------------
The train ride home is just as short as it was on the way to the hospital. It didn't take long to arrive at station close to my apartment. As I am walking back I start to think back to the girls that were in Yamaku.
Hanako was the shy girl in my class who had burn scars on her body. Lilly was a good friend of Hanako's that was in a separate class for students that were either partially, or completely blind. Her attitude was always that of a proper lady, in both speech and action. Shizune was the student council president, she always seemed like a by-the-rules type girl who was serious about her studies. Rin was the school's artist that could paint abstract masterpieces with her feet. I never could understand what she was saying, it was like her head was always stuck in the clouds. Finally there was Emi. She was Yamaku's track star, and the woman I fell in love with.
According to Troy, Nurse was my visualization of himself when I stayed in Yamaku. It's his belief that Hanako is more then likely the same thing. The only difference being she is the extra persona belonging to Iwanako. All of them, with the exception of Emi, I had very little contact with. Even though the contact was brief, I had a feeling that I had known them for a very long time. If what Troy says is true, then the rest of the girls must have their own real world counterparts that I'd met during some point of my life. My only problem is finding out who they are, and where to find them.
When I get back home to my apartment I go into the kitchen to fix myself something to eat. There I'm met by a wonderful aroma filling the rest of the apartment and I find Hanako is sitting down with a steaming teakettle on the table in-front of her.
"Hisao, welcome home dear. I'm making tea, but I'm afraid that it is not quite ready yet." She says this in a very elegant manor, one that sounds very familiar...
And as I watch her lift the teakettle up to pour the steaming water into the small teapot, I realize why the girls seemed so familiar. Iwanako and I had known them for years prior to my coma. I had spent a great deal of time with each of them. I knew them so well and for so long. Not because they are friends. Not because they are relatives, but because they are all one and the same.
The person pouring my tea...
Last edited by WolfStreak on Wed May 02, 2012 3:20 am, edited 6 times in total.
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting. Harem end achieved in a most unexpected fashion?
pretty sure you meant phone."Judging from what you told me about her behavior over the fun, yes I do believe she has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder."
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
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WolfStreak
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Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
This and many more errors have been fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.nemz wrote:Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting. Harem end achieved in a most unexpected fashion?
pretty sure you meant phone."Judging from what you told me about her behavior over the fun, yes I do believe she has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder."
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6213
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
"We met in highschool a few months after you acceppted my confession."
...
Something about this sentence sounds wrong...
Also, a doctor having to look up the medicine? He should know stuff like that...
...
Something about this sentence sounds wrong...
Also, a doctor having to look up the medicine? He should know stuff like that...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
That line threw me at first until I kept reading. I suppose it kind of makes sense, if he didn't meet Hanako until months after his confession to Iwanako , but it doesn't quite jive with them fact that Hanako doesn't seem to think of herself as Iwanako .Mirage_GSM wrote:"We met in highschool a few months after you acceppted my confession."
...
Something about this sentence sounds wrong...
Double checking before he said anything perhaps?Also, a doctor having to look up the medicine? He should know stuff like that...
Not Dead Yet
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
There are TONS of drugs out there and it's not something in his specific field of medicinal practice so it's totally understandable he might not know it off the top of his head.Mirage_GSM wrote:Also, a doctor having to look up the medicine? He should know stuff like that...
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6213
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
I'm not saying he should be able to know dosages and possible side-effects by heart, but knowing what kind of medicine does what is what being a doctor is all about. It's not like Risperdal is some kind of obscure niche product - even if it does not seem to marketed in Japan under this name.
Well, it's not a big issue - just something that had me suspect for a moment that Troy might not be what he claims to be...
Well, it's not a big issue - just something that had me suspect for a moment that Troy might not be what he claims to be...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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BlackRockHanako
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Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
Can't wait for Kenji personality to come out.
'Oh god, they trapped me in a woman's body!'
'Oh god, they trapped me in a woman's body!'
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Guestimate
- Posts: 117
- Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:32 am
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
How very interesting. I hope there's more to come.
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WolfStreak
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:24 pm
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
BlackRockHanako wrote:Can't wait for Kenji personality to come out.
'Oh god, they trapped me in a woman's body!'
Or maybe he is the alter ego of Hisao! But in all seriousness I laughed when I saw that comment. Thank you!
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
I lol'dnemz wrote:Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting. Harem end achieved in a most unexpected fashion?
Actually, I'm laughing reading this whole thing. It's really good. The plot concept is awesome and the delivery is top-notch. You're revealing just the right amount of everything at each step to keep it sharp.
Unless they live in a really expensive house, I think you mean "elegant manner."She says this in a very elegant manor
I'm hooked on this story. Great stuff.
Writer for Familiarity. I also have an anime blog.
Re: What Lies Beneath
Wow, first fic of KS I've yet read. I'm impressed with the storytelling, even if the spelling is off sometimes.
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WolfStreak
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- Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:24 pm
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 4/30/12 Chapter 4 now up
Sorry about the wait folks! Some things happening in the real world caught up to me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter of What Lies Beneath.
Chapter 5 - Remembrance
We're returning home from Iwanako's doctor visit. She's been seeking help to understand the reason behind all her different personalities, but each visit ends in the same way. Her not getting the answers she wants, and then storming out of the office when they suggest a higher dosage of her current medication.
"I can't believe this they're all the same!" She says with a frustrated tone, walking up to our apartment building.
"He's a psychologist, it's his job to be like that." I reply back as we make our way up the stairs to our apartment.
"Every time it's the same. They don't listen to what I tell them and do nothing but try and get me to take more medicine."
"I dunno, maybe medication is what's best for this kind of thing?" She stops at the top of the stairs, turning to me as she does.
"So you think drugging me up is the best solution?" She says, throwing an arm to the side in annoyance.
"You know I didn't mean it that way..." As I try putting a hand on her shoulder, she shrugs it off.
"Of course you did, ever since I decided to start going you do nothing but agree with them. You're doing nothing but what the doctors say without thinking for yourself!"
"What should I do then? I don't know what to do and when I ask, you never tell me about what's bothering you!" Our voices echoing in the stairwell as we argue.
"Because I don't know Hisao, why can't you understand?" Her shoulders drop and her face sinks into an expression full of despair.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to help fix this if you don't talk to me?" My last statement shifts the expression on her face from sorrow to one of anger.
"Fix? FIX! Is that what you want to do Hisao? Fix me?" She hunches over wrapping her arms around herself, crying as I approach her.
"Iwanako I'm sorry I didn..."
"Leave me alone Hisao, I don't need to be fixed!" She says, shoving me away as I lean down to help.
That was the last thing I remember her saying to me before finding myself tumbling down the stairs.
--------------------------------------------
After my brief flashback I come back to reality and the girl sitting at the table drinking her tea. Judging by her speech pattern and elegant manner in which she moves, she's probably switched personalities again. And I have a good assumption of who it might be...
"Lilly?" She finishes sipping her tea before setting it down on the table, turning to me as she answers.
"Good afternoon Hisao, it's good to see you."
"Thanks, it's good to see you too." I stand there in silence for a few minutes before I realize it's still a little early for her to be home from work yet.
"What are you doing home so early? I thought you were working late again."
"I was relieved from work early today do to a work incident."
"A work incident?"
"Yes."
"Are you alright?"
"Yes I'm doing quite well, however I can not say the same for her." For her? She must be talking about Hanako, or maybe Iwanako.
"So what got you off work so early? Were you fired?" I ask in a worried tone.
"I don't believe this incident will result in her dismissal, however she was given some time off to recover."
"Did you say recover?" I say back, as if to confirm what I just heard.
"Yes, recover."
"Lilly, what exactly happened?" I ask, taking a seat at the table with her. If she needs time off from work to recover, then whatever happened must be more serious then she is saying.
"Nothing that you should worry yourself to much about. How about you Hisao, how have you been getting along these days? It's been a while since we last spoke to each other." Her changing the subject so fast furthers my suspicion that whatever has happened is more serious then she is saying, but for now I'll go along with it. If she doesn't want to talk about it then I won't prod her for information, not right now anyway.
"I'm doing good all things considered. Being in a coma for nearly two years slowed things down a bit for me though."
"Yes I'm aware of what happened, I was sorry to hear about it. It was very hard on her when you were hospitalized, she still blames herself for it." Although its true I do recall the fight we had and her pushing me as a result, I still can't be sure that's what was the cause for my coma.
"I don't clearly remember everything that happened, but I do remember that she might have pushed me down the stairs. Can you tell me if my hospitalization coincides with that?" She closes her eyes for a few moments before deciding how she is going to answer me.
"Yes it does, unfortunately. When you were admitted the doctor asked us if you had experienced any major head trauma. She told him what happened a few days prior and he suggested that it be kept a secret until you could remember on your own." So it was her fault...
"I see. Was the doctors name Troy?"
"Yes I believe so. Do you two know each other? He seemed to care an awful lot about you."
"Yes. He and I have been friends for a long time." I remember him telling me that the cause for my coma was never found. If he knew why I was comatose, then he probably thought it was best that he didn't tell me. He has helped me out a lot this past week so there is no reason for me to doubt him. I'll ask him about it next time I see him. When I look back to Lilly, I find a worried look on her face.
"Are you alright, Lilly?"
"Hisao, do you hate her now that you know the truth?" She asks, her voice now matching the same emotion written on her face.
"I could never hate her, or any of you for that matter." I say to her with a smile on my face to reassure her.
"You don't?" She looks surprised at my response.
"Of course not. It was an accident." A smile appears on her face when I say this.
"I'm glad, you are the most important person in our life and having you hate us would be unbearable." Tears start to form in her eyes as the relief of my answer comes over her.
"Holding a grudge on the person I love over an accident won't solve anything." She smiles at me as I say this to her. Even knowing she was the cause for my stroke that landed me in a coma, I can't bring my self to hate her for it. It was my own fault I got pushed down in the first place.
"Having put that matter behind us, would you care for your tea now?" She hands me the tea she poured me earlier.
"Of course, thank you."
A familiar feeling comes to me as we sit in silence drinking our tea. It feels like I have done this with her many times before. Whether this familiarity is from my time at Yamaku or my life prior to it I still don't know.
While sitting with her in comfortable silence sipping away at my tea, I start to think about the fight with Iwanako that I remembered a few moments ago. I was being very stupid about how to go about solving her problems. Choosing to try and fix her with whatever it was that the doctors were recommending she do. I never considered talking with her to understand what exactly it was that she wanted. While at Yamaku, I was also the same way with Emi. Always ignorant of what was really going on with her to the point that it almost ended our relationship. It was only then that I finally realized what I was doing wrong and how dumb I had been. Trying to fix her when she wasn't broken and trying to be a white knight for her when she didn't need one. What happened in Yamaku was just a dream brought about by my comatose mind, but it was still a big wake up call on the stupidity of my actions during those situations. The only difference for Iwanako being I was going around just trying to fix every problem with the medication that doctors recommended. I couldn't see that the help she wanted wasn't in taking pills to cover up her problems, but in finding answers to why she had them. My time and experiences at Yamaku has taught me many things about myself. The answer to understanding why Iwanako's persona's exist might also be found in my time there. If I'm able to remember what I did when spending time with them like I did Emi, then maybe I can better understand them. So far, Hanako and Lilly were just like I remember from when I talked to them in the library and tea room. If the rest of Iwanako's personalities are the same way, then maybe I can help her understand why they are there using the memory of them from Yamaku.
I remember her saying when we first started going to those doctor visits that she wanted help understanding what dissociative identity disorder was and what could have caused it.
She never wanted doctors with a prescription pad writing away the issues, but someone who genuinely cares helping her get the answers she really wants. All the while me trying to fix her problems with anything the doctors say might work. I never realized how much I was hurting her up until the time of my coma. If it took me all this time in Yamaku, a place created in my own mind just to figure out something so obvious. Then I must truly be the worlds biggest idiot...
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The following morning I go to meet Troy for breakfast at a coffee shop near the hospital. I had asked to meet with him to see if I could get more information, so he suggested we talk about it over breakfast. He had told me over the phone that it's his favorite place to go for food when he isn't busy at the hospital. I suppose to him this meeting was a perfect excuse for him to get away. After only a little bit of trouble finding it, I arrive at the coffee shop Troy suggested. I walk inside and look around as I try to spot Troy amongst the seated guests. I look around and notice the shop has an old timely feel to it. Though, at the same time it's still somewhat modern in its styling.
. The dining area is made up of several high walled booths with wooden benches and the waitress is wearing an odd pink apron type uniform. While I'm curiously looking around, I spot Troy waving me over. Having spotted him, I make my way over to his table.
"Good morning Hisao. Care for some breakfast and coffee perhaps?" He asks, while I'm taking my seat.
"Sure, thanks." He gets the waitresses attention and orders two breakfast plates and coffees to go with them. Before long the waitress arrives with our order before scurrying off to the next table. Troy asks if we can talk after we finish eating our food. After we are done eating our breakfast, he is the first to speak.
"So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" He asks, finishing the last of his coffee.
"I was hoping to get some more information about what Dissociative Identity Disorder is and what causes it." He sets his empty cup down before relaxing back in his seat to answer me.
"Well Hisao, to be honest I don't know much about it other then what I already told you."
"I see. Do you know were I might be able to look up information about it?"
"Well back in my day we used to use this hidden wealth of information known as a "Library". He tries his best to keep a straight face as he says this, but he just ends up laughing anyway.
"But I suppose these days you could always just use the internet to search for the information you want. That's what I ended up having to do when I couldn't remember what that medicine you asked me to look up was."
"I would, but I don't want to do it at home." His curiosity seems to have been piqued. When I say this, he gets up from his relaxing posture to sit up in-front of me before responding in a more serious tone.
"Are you going behind her back to look this information up? I thought when we spoke at the hospital you had said her split personality wasn't really causing any issues between you two."
"Well no it wasn... isn't, but..."
"But what?"
"Well I did manage to figure out who the other girls in Yamaku were based off of."
"Well that's good news right? Are they people you have known for a while, like Iwanako?" He asks, seeming to have gone back to his relaxed manner.
"Well not exactly. As it turns out, Hanako wasn't the only person hiding away inside her."
"So, what you mean to say is that every girl you met in Yamaku are personalities that reside inside Iwanako?
"Yes, that's what I am trying to say." He scratches his head before answering me back.
"Well I guess that's one way to have more then one woman." He laughs before getting back to the topic at hand.
"How many different people do you think might be sleeping in that head of hers?"
"So far, I know for sure there are at least two that have appeared, but based upon the people I spent time with in Yamaku, I think there might be at least a total of four or five not including Iwanako." Troy lets out a long whistle, apparently he's just as surprised as I was upon learning the extent of Iwanoko's condition.
"Five huh? That's quite allot of women to try and please." He says half jokingly.
"Well although I can't tell you anything more then I already know, I can however lend you this to try and look for more information on your own." He takes a small laptop out of his brief case before handing it to me.
"Thanks, but it'll probably take me a while to look up everything. You have to get back to work soon right? I don't really see how this is any different then using my own computer." He smiles while answering me.
"Well I know that, so take it to the library or any other public place with wifi to look up what you need. I think this pace has it too." He says, nodding his head to the occupants next door. They seem to be doing work on a laptop of their own.
"I guess I could go to the library. It's not to far if I remember correctly."
"Well look at you, starting to remember more already."
"Yeah I guess. And speaking of remembering..." He was standing up to leave, but stops midway to turn and listen to what I have to say.
"Yesterday I remembered something that happened a few days before my coma." He sits back down beside me, the look on his face tells me he probably already knows what I'm about to sat to him.
"About how you ended up in the hospital?" He asks, his voice now less lively then usual.
"Yeah, I remember having a fight with Iwanako before it got heated, causing her to push me down the stairs to our apartment. After that point, my only memories are of having my heart attack and then my time at Yamaku." He rubs the back of his neck before turning back to me.
"I lied when I said the cause for your coma was never found, it was caused by a brain aneurysm. More then likely from the head trauma you received falling down the stairs."
"So it wasn't a stroke that caused it?" I ask, Troy now staring down at the table.
"No, it wasn't."
"I see." I close my eyes and lean back in my seat before he speaks up again.
"Hisao, I didn't want to tell you right away. I know I don't know much about your relationship with Iwanako, but the way she visited you every week showed how much she cares about you. I lied so that when you remembered everything that happened on your own, you could make your own decision on what to do about it. I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to make that sort of decision." After he's finished speaking, he starts to get up to leave again.
"Troy, wait." He turns and looks at me as he stands to leave.
"I'm not mad at you for keeping that from me, and I understand why you did. To be honest, my getting hurt was mostly my own stupidity in handling the situation the way I did." I stand up, extending my hand as I do.
"So instead of being mad, I should thank you. If you had told me right from the start, then I would have probably never gotten a second chance at being able to set things right with her." His usual uplifting smile and attitude returns as he shakes my hand.
"Well I'm glad it all worked out in the end. But you'll have to excuse me, I'm actually two hours late for work by now." He says to me with a grin so big that I doubt even Emi could have matched it.
After I see him off I order another cup of coffee before deciding it's time to head to the library. I thought about being lazy and just looking up the info here, but I might find a few books I to check out while I'm there looking up the information I need. After paying for my food, and making sure I have Troy's laptop in hand, I walk out of the coffee shop. While on my way out, I look up at the sign to see what the name is so that if I want to come back again some time I'd remember the address. My eyes widen in surprise as I read the name aloud.
"The Shanghai..."
I laugh inwardly at the fact that I was in someplace so familiar the entire time. It's probably safe to assume he and I have eaten there a few times. When I think about it, the Shanghai from my dream and this place are pretty much identical. It would appear that more then just the people in my life had managed to invade my unconscious mind.
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A short train ride later, I arrive at the station closest to the library. From there, I make my way down the main sidewalk until I finally arrive in-front of my destination. When I go inside, I notice that there isn't anyone besides the librarian inside. She's reading a book when I walk up to speak with her.
"Excuse me, Miss?" She looks up from her book for a moment to speak to me.
"How may I help you?" She replies to me with in a monotone voice.
"I wanted to know if you had public internet access here."
"Yes, we do. The public computers are in the far left back section. If you have your own, then there are cubicles in very back of the library."
"Thank you. Is there anything special I need to do to use the cubicles?" She looks up from her book again to speak to me.
"There is a cable in each one that will provide you with the internet access. As far as what you are able to view, only digital books and information websites are permitted for viewing while in the library." She returns to reading her book after instructing me of the rules.
It isn't long before I find my way to the cubicles she had mentioned. I seem to have free reign over the entire library for the time being. I guess since the internet is in most homes now, people don't really need to come to libraries to look up most information. Having set up everything up, and a quick call to get the password from Troy, I browse the available websites until I come across an article from an American based website. Most of the first part of the article covers things I know already. After that it covers general information such as percentages of people that have "DID", different types of misdiagnoses that can occur because of it, and the signs and symptoms associated to people diagnosed with "DID". The further I read down however, the more I start to come across that I was not yet aware of. The article says memory loss can occur in those with DID when an alternate part of the personality becomes dominant. So far however, Iwanako, Hanako, and Lilly have remembered things just fine, so I know at least they don't have memory loss. I suppose it's possible that any of the others could though.
After reading for what seems like hours I finally come to the bottom of the page. There, I read what startles me the most out of anything I have read of this condition so far. It says that individuals diagnosed with DID usually have suffered severe physical, mental, and often times even sexual abuse as a underlined factor in what causes this condition to occur. It goes on to say that people suffering such abuse manifest these personalities as a means to cope with what they are being forced to go through. Allowing them to continue on with their daily life with the illusion that nothing has happened. locking the memory of anything and everything being done to them away within the personality dealing with it.
If even just one of these reasons is enough to cause a split persona to exist, then what in the world would she have had to gone through before I met her that would have caused all of the different personalities she has to arise within her?
I started digging for information in hopes of finding out more information about why she has DID like she originally tried to do with the doctors.
After reading all this, I know that in the coming weeks, neither Iwanako or myself is going to like finding what lies beneath the blanket of memories sleeping in her own mind...
Chapter 5 - Remembrance
We're returning home from Iwanako's doctor visit. She's been seeking help to understand the reason behind all her different personalities, but each visit ends in the same way. Her not getting the answers she wants, and then storming out of the office when they suggest a higher dosage of her current medication.
"I can't believe this they're all the same!" She says with a frustrated tone, walking up to our apartment building.
"He's a psychologist, it's his job to be like that." I reply back as we make our way up the stairs to our apartment.
"Every time it's the same. They don't listen to what I tell them and do nothing but try and get me to take more medicine."
"I dunno, maybe medication is what's best for this kind of thing?" She stops at the top of the stairs, turning to me as she does.
"So you think drugging me up is the best solution?" She says, throwing an arm to the side in annoyance.
"You know I didn't mean it that way..." As I try putting a hand on her shoulder, she shrugs it off.
"Of course you did, ever since I decided to start going you do nothing but agree with them. You're doing nothing but what the doctors say without thinking for yourself!"
"What should I do then? I don't know what to do and when I ask, you never tell me about what's bothering you!" Our voices echoing in the stairwell as we argue.
"Because I don't know Hisao, why can't you understand?" Her shoulders drop and her face sinks into an expression full of despair.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to help fix this if you don't talk to me?" My last statement shifts the expression on her face from sorrow to one of anger.
"Fix? FIX! Is that what you want to do Hisao? Fix me?" She hunches over wrapping her arms around herself, crying as I approach her.
"Iwanako I'm sorry I didn..."
"Leave me alone Hisao, I don't need to be fixed!" She says, shoving me away as I lean down to help.
That was the last thing I remember her saying to me before finding myself tumbling down the stairs.
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After my brief flashback I come back to reality and the girl sitting at the table drinking her tea. Judging by her speech pattern and elegant manner in which she moves, she's probably switched personalities again. And I have a good assumption of who it might be...
"Lilly?" She finishes sipping her tea before setting it down on the table, turning to me as she answers.
"Good afternoon Hisao, it's good to see you."
"Thanks, it's good to see you too." I stand there in silence for a few minutes before I realize it's still a little early for her to be home from work yet.
"What are you doing home so early? I thought you were working late again."
"I was relieved from work early today do to a work incident."
"A work incident?"
"Yes."
"Are you alright?"
"Yes I'm doing quite well, however I can not say the same for her." For her? She must be talking about Hanako, or maybe Iwanako.
"So what got you off work so early? Were you fired?" I ask in a worried tone.
"I don't believe this incident will result in her dismissal, however she was given some time off to recover."
"Did you say recover?" I say back, as if to confirm what I just heard.
"Yes, recover."
"Lilly, what exactly happened?" I ask, taking a seat at the table with her. If she needs time off from work to recover, then whatever happened must be more serious then she is saying.
"Nothing that you should worry yourself to much about. How about you Hisao, how have you been getting along these days? It's been a while since we last spoke to each other." Her changing the subject so fast furthers my suspicion that whatever has happened is more serious then she is saying, but for now I'll go along with it. If she doesn't want to talk about it then I won't prod her for information, not right now anyway.
"I'm doing good all things considered. Being in a coma for nearly two years slowed things down a bit for me though."
"Yes I'm aware of what happened, I was sorry to hear about it. It was very hard on her when you were hospitalized, she still blames herself for it." Although its true I do recall the fight we had and her pushing me as a result, I still can't be sure that's what was the cause for my coma.
"I don't clearly remember everything that happened, but I do remember that she might have pushed me down the stairs. Can you tell me if my hospitalization coincides with that?" She closes her eyes for a few moments before deciding how she is going to answer me.
"Yes it does, unfortunately. When you were admitted the doctor asked us if you had experienced any major head trauma. She told him what happened a few days prior and he suggested that it be kept a secret until you could remember on your own." So it was her fault...
"I see. Was the doctors name Troy?"
"Yes I believe so. Do you two know each other? He seemed to care an awful lot about you."
"Yes. He and I have been friends for a long time." I remember him telling me that the cause for my coma was never found. If he knew why I was comatose, then he probably thought it was best that he didn't tell me. He has helped me out a lot this past week so there is no reason for me to doubt him. I'll ask him about it next time I see him. When I look back to Lilly, I find a worried look on her face.
"Are you alright, Lilly?"
"Hisao, do you hate her now that you know the truth?" She asks, her voice now matching the same emotion written on her face.
"I could never hate her, or any of you for that matter." I say to her with a smile on my face to reassure her.
"You don't?" She looks surprised at my response.
"Of course not. It was an accident." A smile appears on her face when I say this.
"I'm glad, you are the most important person in our life and having you hate us would be unbearable." Tears start to form in her eyes as the relief of my answer comes over her.
"Holding a grudge on the person I love over an accident won't solve anything." She smiles at me as I say this to her. Even knowing she was the cause for my stroke that landed me in a coma, I can't bring my self to hate her for it. It was my own fault I got pushed down in the first place.
"Having put that matter behind us, would you care for your tea now?" She hands me the tea she poured me earlier.
"Of course, thank you."
A familiar feeling comes to me as we sit in silence drinking our tea. It feels like I have done this with her many times before. Whether this familiarity is from my time at Yamaku or my life prior to it I still don't know.
While sitting with her in comfortable silence sipping away at my tea, I start to think about the fight with Iwanako that I remembered a few moments ago. I was being very stupid about how to go about solving her problems. Choosing to try and fix her with whatever it was that the doctors were recommending she do. I never considered talking with her to understand what exactly it was that she wanted. While at Yamaku, I was also the same way with Emi. Always ignorant of what was really going on with her to the point that it almost ended our relationship. It was only then that I finally realized what I was doing wrong and how dumb I had been. Trying to fix her when she wasn't broken and trying to be a white knight for her when she didn't need one. What happened in Yamaku was just a dream brought about by my comatose mind, but it was still a big wake up call on the stupidity of my actions during those situations. The only difference for Iwanako being I was going around just trying to fix every problem with the medication that doctors recommended. I couldn't see that the help she wanted wasn't in taking pills to cover up her problems, but in finding answers to why she had them. My time and experiences at Yamaku has taught me many things about myself. The answer to understanding why Iwanako's persona's exist might also be found in my time there. If I'm able to remember what I did when spending time with them like I did Emi, then maybe I can better understand them. So far, Hanako and Lilly were just like I remember from when I talked to them in the library and tea room. If the rest of Iwanako's personalities are the same way, then maybe I can help her understand why they are there using the memory of them from Yamaku.
I remember her saying when we first started going to those doctor visits that she wanted help understanding what dissociative identity disorder was and what could have caused it.
She never wanted doctors with a prescription pad writing away the issues, but someone who genuinely cares helping her get the answers she really wants. All the while me trying to fix her problems with anything the doctors say might work. I never realized how much I was hurting her up until the time of my coma. If it took me all this time in Yamaku, a place created in my own mind just to figure out something so obvious. Then I must truly be the worlds biggest idiot...
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The following morning I go to meet Troy for breakfast at a coffee shop near the hospital. I had asked to meet with him to see if I could get more information, so he suggested we talk about it over breakfast. He had told me over the phone that it's his favorite place to go for food when he isn't busy at the hospital. I suppose to him this meeting was a perfect excuse for him to get away. After only a little bit of trouble finding it, I arrive at the coffee shop Troy suggested. I walk inside and look around as I try to spot Troy amongst the seated guests. I look around and notice the shop has an old timely feel to it. Though, at the same time it's still somewhat modern in its styling.
. The dining area is made up of several high walled booths with wooden benches and the waitress is wearing an odd pink apron type uniform. While I'm curiously looking around, I spot Troy waving me over. Having spotted him, I make my way over to his table.
"Good morning Hisao. Care for some breakfast and coffee perhaps?" He asks, while I'm taking my seat.
"Sure, thanks." He gets the waitresses attention and orders two breakfast plates and coffees to go with them. Before long the waitress arrives with our order before scurrying off to the next table. Troy asks if we can talk after we finish eating our food. After we are done eating our breakfast, he is the first to speak.
"So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" He asks, finishing the last of his coffee.
"I was hoping to get some more information about what Dissociative Identity Disorder is and what causes it." He sets his empty cup down before relaxing back in his seat to answer me.
"Well Hisao, to be honest I don't know much about it other then what I already told you."
"I see. Do you know were I might be able to look up information about it?"
"Well back in my day we used to use this hidden wealth of information known as a "Library". He tries his best to keep a straight face as he says this, but he just ends up laughing anyway.
"But I suppose these days you could always just use the internet to search for the information you want. That's what I ended up having to do when I couldn't remember what that medicine you asked me to look up was."
"I would, but I don't want to do it at home." His curiosity seems to have been piqued. When I say this, he gets up from his relaxing posture to sit up in-front of me before responding in a more serious tone.
"Are you going behind her back to look this information up? I thought when we spoke at the hospital you had said her split personality wasn't really causing any issues between you two."
"Well no it wasn... isn't, but..."
"But what?"
"Well I did manage to figure out who the other girls in Yamaku were based off of."
"Well that's good news right? Are they people you have known for a while, like Iwanako?" He asks, seeming to have gone back to his relaxed manner.
"Well not exactly. As it turns out, Hanako wasn't the only person hiding away inside her."
"So, what you mean to say is that every girl you met in Yamaku are personalities that reside inside Iwanako?
"Yes, that's what I am trying to say." He scratches his head before answering me back.
"Well I guess that's one way to have more then one woman." He laughs before getting back to the topic at hand.
"How many different people do you think might be sleeping in that head of hers?"
"So far, I know for sure there are at least two that have appeared, but based upon the people I spent time with in Yamaku, I think there might be at least a total of four or five not including Iwanako." Troy lets out a long whistle, apparently he's just as surprised as I was upon learning the extent of Iwanoko's condition.
"Five huh? That's quite allot of women to try and please." He says half jokingly.
"Well although I can't tell you anything more then I already know, I can however lend you this to try and look for more information on your own." He takes a small laptop out of his brief case before handing it to me.
"Thanks, but it'll probably take me a while to look up everything. You have to get back to work soon right? I don't really see how this is any different then using my own computer." He smiles while answering me.
"Well I know that, so take it to the library or any other public place with wifi to look up what you need. I think this pace has it too." He says, nodding his head to the occupants next door. They seem to be doing work on a laptop of their own.
"I guess I could go to the library. It's not to far if I remember correctly."
"Well look at you, starting to remember more already."
"Yeah I guess. And speaking of remembering..." He was standing up to leave, but stops midway to turn and listen to what I have to say.
"Yesterday I remembered something that happened a few days before my coma." He sits back down beside me, the look on his face tells me he probably already knows what I'm about to sat to him.
"About how you ended up in the hospital?" He asks, his voice now less lively then usual.
"Yeah, I remember having a fight with Iwanako before it got heated, causing her to push me down the stairs to our apartment. After that point, my only memories are of having my heart attack and then my time at Yamaku." He rubs the back of his neck before turning back to me.
"I lied when I said the cause for your coma was never found, it was caused by a brain aneurysm. More then likely from the head trauma you received falling down the stairs."
"So it wasn't a stroke that caused it?" I ask, Troy now staring down at the table.
"No, it wasn't."
"I see." I close my eyes and lean back in my seat before he speaks up again.
"Hisao, I didn't want to tell you right away. I know I don't know much about your relationship with Iwanako, but the way she visited you every week showed how much she cares about you. I lied so that when you remembered everything that happened on your own, you could make your own decision on what to do about it. I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to make that sort of decision." After he's finished speaking, he starts to get up to leave again.
"Troy, wait." He turns and looks at me as he stands to leave.
"I'm not mad at you for keeping that from me, and I understand why you did. To be honest, my getting hurt was mostly my own stupidity in handling the situation the way I did." I stand up, extending my hand as I do.
"So instead of being mad, I should thank you. If you had told me right from the start, then I would have probably never gotten a second chance at being able to set things right with her." His usual uplifting smile and attitude returns as he shakes my hand.
"Well I'm glad it all worked out in the end. But you'll have to excuse me, I'm actually two hours late for work by now." He says to me with a grin so big that I doubt even Emi could have matched it.
After I see him off I order another cup of coffee before deciding it's time to head to the library. I thought about being lazy and just looking up the info here, but I might find a few books I to check out while I'm there looking up the information I need. After paying for my food, and making sure I have Troy's laptop in hand, I walk out of the coffee shop. While on my way out, I look up at the sign to see what the name is so that if I want to come back again some time I'd remember the address. My eyes widen in surprise as I read the name aloud.
"The Shanghai..."
I laugh inwardly at the fact that I was in someplace so familiar the entire time. It's probably safe to assume he and I have eaten there a few times. When I think about it, the Shanghai from my dream and this place are pretty much identical. It would appear that more then just the people in my life had managed to invade my unconscious mind.
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A short train ride later, I arrive at the station closest to the library. From there, I make my way down the main sidewalk until I finally arrive in-front of my destination. When I go inside, I notice that there isn't anyone besides the librarian inside. She's reading a book when I walk up to speak with her.
"Excuse me, Miss?" She looks up from her book for a moment to speak to me.
"How may I help you?" She replies to me with in a monotone voice.
"I wanted to know if you had public internet access here."
"Yes, we do. The public computers are in the far left back section. If you have your own, then there are cubicles in very back of the library."
"Thank you. Is there anything special I need to do to use the cubicles?" She looks up from her book again to speak to me.
"There is a cable in each one that will provide you with the internet access. As far as what you are able to view, only digital books and information websites are permitted for viewing while in the library." She returns to reading her book after instructing me of the rules.
It isn't long before I find my way to the cubicles she had mentioned. I seem to have free reign over the entire library for the time being. I guess since the internet is in most homes now, people don't really need to come to libraries to look up most information. Having set up everything up, and a quick call to get the password from Troy, I browse the available websites until I come across an article from an American based website. Most of the first part of the article covers things I know already. After that it covers general information such as percentages of people that have "DID", different types of misdiagnoses that can occur because of it, and the signs and symptoms associated to people diagnosed with "DID". The further I read down however, the more I start to come across that I was not yet aware of. The article says memory loss can occur in those with DID when an alternate part of the personality becomes dominant. So far however, Iwanako, Hanako, and Lilly have remembered things just fine, so I know at least they don't have memory loss. I suppose it's possible that any of the others could though.
After reading for what seems like hours I finally come to the bottom of the page. There, I read what startles me the most out of anything I have read of this condition so far. It says that individuals diagnosed with DID usually have suffered severe physical, mental, and often times even sexual abuse as a underlined factor in what causes this condition to occur. It goes on to say that people suffering such abuse manifest these personalities as a means to cope with what they are being forced to go through. Allowing them to continue on with their daily life with the illusion that nothing has happened. locking the memory of anything and everything being done to them away within the personality dealing with it.
If even just one of these reasons is enough to cause a split persona to exist, then what in the world would she have had to gone through before I met her that would have caused all of the different personalities she has to arise within her?
I started digging for information in hopes of finding out more information about why she has DID like she originally tried to do with the doctors.
After reading all this, I know that in the coming weeks, neither Iwanako or myself is going to like finding what lies beneath the blanket of memories sleeping in her own mind...
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>
Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 5/15/12 Chapter 5 now up
Great addition!
Though I do wonder the reason for her condition in his mind. I'm just thinking out loud, don't mind it.
Though I do wonder the reason for her condition in his mind. I'm just thinking out loud, don't mind it.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.