Part 7 -- Sacred
I climb out of the metro with Hisao by my side. It's around noon. The sun is high in the sky I'm feeling a bit hungry, especially since I only ate two toasts for breakfast.
"Is there any place we can eat?" I ask and look around left and right. Hisao looks across the street at a McDonalds.
"Would you like to eat hamburgers?" I ask.
"No, two days in a row would be too much." Hisao says.
"It's OK! It's our honeymoon, so you can eat your favorite as much as you like." I smile and wink. This is fun actually, I could get used to winking at Hisao a lot.
"But Hanako, aren't you getting bored of eating the same food every day?"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Hisao. I love hamburgers!" I say.
"Glad to hear that!" he beams "Well then, don't mind if I do." We cross the street and enter the greasy halls of the golden arches.
I point my finger at the images on the menu again, but this time I choose a
McChicken menu, and I order a Big Mac menu with a side salad for Hisao. Just like yesterday, we go sit down at a small table in a corner. As I take a sip from my cola Hisao softly punches my shoulder.
"Will you squirt in my face again today?" he jokes. I put my finger on top of the straw and pull it out from the cup. I put the straw to my lips and blow the liquid left inside at his nose.
"You asked for it!" I giggle like a child, like I am 7 years again, and as if nothing bad has ever happened to me in my whole life. Because that is how I feel now, happy like a child. Hisao wipes his nose with a napkin.
"You should aim for my mouth, so I can drink it." Hisao says, and he sticks out his tongue. I laugh so hard the scars on my side starts to hurt.
I manage to stop my giggling enough to eat my hamburger. Hisao also gets a hold of himself and chews on his bread and beef. Then Hisao dutifully eats his veggies.
"I must say I envy you a little, you get to eat fries." he says.
"You asked for the salad yourself." I say. I take a fry, wave it under his nose, and quickly eat it.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" He says with a fake sour grin.
"Who knows?" I wink again. Well, yes I want to seduce Hisao, but just now I was only teasing him a bit.
"Say Hanako, when did you learn how to wink?" Hisao asks.
"You noticed? I saw many people here do that, so I taught it myself this morning." I say.
"Interesting... Let me see if I can do it too." he says. He closes both his eyes.
"No, like this." I cover his left eye with my hand. After a few tries, he finally gets it right too. I wink at him. He winks back. I wink again. He winks back again. I wink yet again. Then I notice and old man who sits a bit further wink at me. No, I wasn't winking at you! I point my finger at my husband. The old man makes a face of understanding and looks away.
"It's not polite to point!" Hisao mockingly chides me. He grabs my finger and kisses it. I pull it away from his hand and put it on his chest.
"I was just pointing out that old man over there that it's you who I belong to." I say.
"Then I'd better also point out the person I belong to." He puts his finger on my breast. Yes Hisao, like that! But, not here, not yet!
"Thank you Hisao." I say "But let's get going. We can't sit here winking and pointing all day." I say. So we drink our drinks and take turns at going to the toilet. Then we step out on the street again.
"Where to now? " Hisao asks.
"We should go up" I say. and I guide him in the direction of a sloping street. The direct way is shorter, but I want to set the mood first. And besides, it would be a waste not to go up there while we are close by. After walking a few minutes through uphill streets, we reach stairs that climb up a wide green field. I can already see our next stop on top of the hill. There is a sort of elevator to the side of the field. The stairs would be too tiring so I pay for the fare and we ride it up. I climb another flight of stairs with Hisao holding my hand. In front of us stands a large white domed building.
"That is the Sacre Coeur Basillica." I say.
"Impressive!" Hisao says as he turns around. "And look at the view. I think I can see our hotel from up here."
"No way!" I punch his back softly. This light feeling in my heart, this banter between us... did it only start yesterday? I'd like it to continue forever... I look out on the city. It really is lovely. Everything looks so small from here. Even the Eiffel tower.
"You want to go in?" Hisao asks. I nod and grab his hand again. We cross the street,
climb up and enter through the gate. Inside the basilica we make our way around. I look up at the large mosaic, the statues, and at the stained glass windows.
At one side there is an altar with many candles in front of it. I don't believe in God very much, but there is something I want to wish for. I take out a coin, put it in the offertory box, take a fresh candle, and light it. I set it down between the other lit candles. I clap my hands in front of my face and bow my head. What I wish for is not just happiness for myself. There is something I want more.
"Dear God, dear parents," I pray silently, "please protect my husband, Hisao. May he be happy. May his troubles and pains be taken away. May all his wishes come true. May he be enlightened. May he be happy." It's a Buddhist prayer, since I don't know any Christian ones. But I feel God won't discriminate against people for their beliefs or religion. I just hope Someone will hear my wish and make it come true.
I turn back to Hisao who still looks around and waits for me to finish my prayer. I walk up to him and when he sees I have finished, he follows me as I silently leave the domed building. Outside again, I lean close to him and lock my arm in his. I look out on the panoramic view, with Hisao's warmth next to me and I am amazed at the depth of my own bliss. Hisao doesn't ask me anything, so I just guide him along the street, around the church, as I quietly enjoy just being together with him.
We come up to a crowded square were many painters are sitting in front of their easels. There are many restaurants around the square and many tourists are sitting on the terraces for a meal or a drink. I don't like crowds like this too much, and I don't feel like talking, so I just lead Hisao around the square. From time to time I stop for a moment to see what the artist is drawing, and then continue on to the next one. Hisao also seems to enjoy himself as he silently walks with me.
I don't want to stay here very long, but it is on the way to my goal for today. I feel at peace and ready to speak my mind. From the square we take a narrow street down, and after some curbs and crossroads we end up with a wide boulevard in front of us. I see Hisao look with some surprise at where we ended up, but he seems to understand that I don't want to talk to him for a while. Not yet. To our right is the Moulin Rouge... That might be nice for Hisao, but I'm not very interested in seeing other women's breasts. In stead, I turn to the left, with Hisao still on my right arm. Finally we reach our goal.
Hisao raises his eyebrows, but politely opens the door for me. We head in, and I buy two tickets for us. The museum is full of paintings, drawings, photographs and ancient objects. And each and every one of them is related to sex. I'm getting a little nervous, but also excited by looking at these depictions. I take Hisao slowly past all of these works of erotic art and I can see he is looking just as carefully at them as I am. Like this I take him up the stairs, though the different floors of the museum until we reach the top. I'm glad nobody else is there. I don't have to wait to speak any longer.
I let go of Hisao's arm, turn to face him, and take both his hands between my hands.
"Hisao" I say "can I talk with you?"
"Hanako, of course!" he says.
"T-there is a reason I took you here." I begin. "I-it has also to do with what happened last night..."
"Ah, yes?" he says with a mixof surprise and kindness in his face.
"You see Hisao, I love you and I am very happy to be with you..." I continue "But I have been d-dishonest with you. And also, I have b-been disrespectful."
"Dishonest? Disrespectful? But how so?" he frowns in disbelief.
"I was dishonest because I hid away a b-bad part of me. And I was d-disrespectful because I forced my feelings on you." I say.
"But Hanako, I don't think there is anything bad about you." he says.
"That's... I-I hid it very well. In reality.... Hisao, I am a very l-lewd woman. I m-masturbate almost every day. Every time I am with you I want to have s-sex with you so very much. I want you... I want you to f-fuck me every day... yes.. fuck me , Hisao, not once, but many times... every day. You see how lewd I am, that I use s-such words? But I know, I know, I'm completely u-unreasonable. I'm not considerate of your c-condition and you as a person. I keep on p-pushing you to do what I want, I keep on s-shutting you up, and I never listen to what you have to say about s-sex. So please f-forgive me for being so lewd. Please forgive me! I m-made you have sex with me, while I know you don't l-like to do it with me. It's all my f-fault because I am not sexy, not attractive, I'm u-ugly and I'm lewd." I say as I look down and I cry profusely.
Hisao pulls his hands from between mine, and puts them on my cheeks. He makes me look up at him. Then with one hand, he gives me a light bop on the forehead.
"You never told me." he says with a thin smile on his face.
"That's right... I never told you... but I should have." I say dejectedly.
"No, not this. You never told me that you like sex." he says with his smile widening.
"H-Hisao?" I say. It's true. I never told him. I though the had understood me, but how could he? Shouts of pain or shouts of pleasure both sound quite the same. I never had bothered to say as much as a Hisao, that was great.
"I-It's true. I really love to have sex with you!" I say. "B-but what about you?"
"Hanako, all this time, I thought you must not like sex very much. After all, we only did it a few times, and you always just take off your clothes and let me do what I want. So I thought you were just having sex with me for my sake. You always ask me not to speak, so I always just went ahead. But I should have asked you. But I was too much a coward to say anything. I was afraid I'd offend you. So it's me who is lewd, dishonest and disrespectful." he says, and pauses.
"Hisao! That's all wrong. I love to have sex with you! I love you, I love your mind, your heart, your body and everything. And I love to have sex with you so very much." I say.
"Hanako! I already thought something was strange after what happened last night, and I wonder why you took me here, but now I understand. Hanako, you and me, we are the same! I was also too shy, too embarrassed and to stubborn to admit it. But I love you, everything about you, all your mind, your heart, your body, you are all beautiful to me. And I also love to have sex with you very much!" he says.
I feel myself melting with relief, with happiness, and with desire. Yes, we are the same! Dear parents, dear God! We are the same! Now, I will not have to hold back anymore! All these emotions wheel through my heart like a tornado, and I find that I cannot wait anymore. I forcefully grab Hisao's head, and thrust my tongue between his lips. He immediately grabs my breasts, and I moan loudly. I put my hand in the middle of his pants and start rubbing. Hisao lifts me up and sits me on top of one of the exposition boxes.
<We are pleazed that you enzoy our muzeum, but as not to damage ze collection, may I zuggest you continue in a more private locazion?> the guard of the museum says.
"Kyah!" I shout. Hisao breaks away and turns around. I quickly step down from the glass box. Now I notice the a security camera that looks right at the display!
<We are sorry, we just got a bit carried away.> Hisao says and he bows deeply. I bow too, my face more red than it has ever been.
<Apology aczepted! You are not the only customerz who have had this problem. This is the erotic muzeum of Paris after all!> the guard says as he smirks.
I and Hisao bow again.
<Thank you so much! We won't do it again!> I say with heartfelt regret.
<Well, zhen, off you go! You muzt have better thingz to do than to ztand here and bow to me!> the guard winks and laughs loudly.
<Ah yes!><Ah yes!> we both shout. I feel embarrassed as I walk down the stairs and leave the building with Hisao behind me. But outside I take a good look at him and grab hold of his hands. He looks back at me and we burst out in laughter.
"Well, Hanako, we did get carried away a bit. We still have a lot of time in our honeymoon, so there's no need to rush. Let's go sit down somewhere quiet and talk more calmly about you and me, and how our sex life together should be." he says.
"Yes, let's do that." I say "But right know I'm so glad. You understood what I wanted to say."
"Well, I understood a few things. But that's not enough. We have to talk more. We have to keep on talking to each other all our lives. About sex, about love, about life, about everything." Hisao says.
"You are right. We have to talk, even if it's embarrassing or shameful, or even if it means we have to admit our own flaws. To be completely happy, we have to be completely open to each other." I say.
"It's a promise!" Hisao says, and he hooks his little finger in mine.
"A promise!" I say. And we kiss again. I feel this afternoon we will learn a lot more about each other. And tonight... I can't wait for tonight to come.
