Starship Yamaku

[BlackRockHanako]

Hey guys, in this thread I will attempt to answer the great philosophical question of our time: What if Yamaku was a Spaceship?
Something like this, I imagine:
The things I do to distract myself from (arguably more important) things constantly surprises even me.

----------------------

‘Captain, three ships have just dropped out of warp ten thousand kilometres to starboard and are on an intercept course.’
‘Federation ships?’
‘No, Captain, I don’t recognise them at all. They seem too heavily armed to be refugee ships from outside the quadrant though.’
Sitting up in her chair, the captain took a second to adjust the bow in her hair, before replying, ‘Hail them on all comm channels, Mikado stand by for translation.’
‘We have a secure line to the lead ship, Captain, one way only.’
Nodding and clearing her throat, the Captain said in a clear, authoritative voice, ‘This is Captain Satou of the Federation Starship Yamaku. You have entered Federation territory – please state your intent and prepare to be boarded.’
As the seconds passed and it became obvious no reply was incoming, the Captain tried again. ‘I repeat, this is Captain Satou of the Federation Starship Yamaku. State your intent immediately or we will be forced to take hostile action.’
‘They’re at six thousand kilometres now Captain.’
‘Hakamichi, tactical report.’
The Captain’s keen hearing picked up the hand movements of the muted conversation between her Tactical Officer- Shizune Hakamichi, and the ships Translator- Misha Mikado.
Hakamichi made an excellent Tactical Officer, her eyes navigating through various retina displays at a blinding speed, all the information she needed a few rolls of her eyes and rapid blinks away, while her hands busily signed all the required information.
This in turn was translated to speech by Mikado, who was not only fluent in sign language, but also in the thirteen languages of all the races in the Federation, along with essential phrases and words from numerous other races they had crossed paths with.
‘The two ships on the edges are the equi…equi-val-ents of Class B Federation frigates, and the one in the middle would be Class A, although all three are slightly better armed at the sacrifice of side and rear shielding.’
Captain Satou nodded in thanks. Three Class B frigates…it would certainly be a tough fight, if it came down to that, although if the Yamaku’s shielding could hold against their attacks they could attempt to score some hits on the enemies weak points.
‘Three thousand kilometres…Captain… They’re charging weapons!’
Shit
‘Red alert! Starboard shields to one-hundred percent, prepare the fighters to scramble. Also word down to Nurse at the medical bay that he may have some more incoming patients, and get a status on Councillor Ikezawa's plasma burns.’
‘Yes ma’am!’

----------------------

‘I’m telling you guys, it’s a conspiracy. First they take control of the ship, and then they raise up all across the Federation planets, taking complete control.’
Sighing, Akira rested her head in her arms. ‘Listen, Kenji, that’s not true. They’re cleaning bots for fuck sake! They barely have the processing capacity to avoid bumping into you as you walk down a corridor, let alone take over the star system.’
‘Think what you like, but when I’m the only person on the ship not killed by them in my sleep because my optical enhancers let me see their true nature, don’t come crying to me.’
‘Really Kenji, shut up with this crazy conspiracy the-‘

“RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ALL FIGHTERS PREPARE TO SCRAMBLE. RED ALERT! RED ALERT!”

‘Finally!’ Shouted Akira, jumping out of her chair, ‘Time for some action, I was going crazy down here!’
Grabbing their jackets Akira and Kenji leapt out of the room, almost knocking into the other members of Fighter Squad Alpha, who looked as excited as they did.
‘Ibarazaki. Miura.’ Akira greeted each in turn with a nod of her head. Emi nodded in return, with Miki raising a metallic skeletal hand, the pistons inside visibly pumping as she waved her hand.
‘Wonder what’s going on.’ Commented Emi as the four of them made their way to Hanger A.
‘I swear if it’s just another drill I’m gonna flip my shit.’ Replied Miki, a large grin on her face.
Splitting up once inside the hanger, the four pilots made their way to their individual ships, the cockpits sliding shut with a hiss of expelled air, sealing the space within.
‘This is Captain Satou’ echoed a voice in the four cockpits, and the cockpits of the other two fighter squadrons. ‘Engage the support ships only, stay away from the leader. The enemy is believed to have weak rear and side shielding, focus your attacks on those areas and make good use of our new munitions. Good luck, and don’t take any unnecessary risks.’
As three sets of large metal door slid slowly open, the hangers were filled with the sound of roaring engines as the ships hovered into position in front of the gaps, hands held expectantly over throttle bars.

RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ALL FIGHTERS SCRAMBLE! ALL FIGHTERS SCRAMBLE!

----------------------

Cursing, the makeshift engineer jumped back a step, narrowly avoiding the spray of sparks that flew out of the terminal in front of him.
Satisfied that the terminal was drained enough not to loose another rain of sparks down he took a shaky step forward as the whole ship rumbled.
‘Captain, what the hell’s going on!?’ He yelled into the communicator attached to his ear.
‘We’ve taken a hit to the power generator, something’s gone wrong – we have no power to our weapons.’ Came the almost too-calm response for the commander. ‘We need you guys down there to find the problem and sort it out, ASAP!’
Grunting, he turned back the way he had come, passing a couple of engineers running scanners over various ports and terminals. ‘With all due respect captain, I’m a physicist, not an engineer. I’m too old to be crawling round air vents and playing with exploding computers!’
‘Well,’ came the response, ‘with all due respect, Akio, if you plan on retiring in one piece I suggest you get us some weapon systems back online.’
Can’t argue with logic like that.
‘Aye ma’am.’ He signed off.
‘Nakai!’ he shouted to a young brown haired man tapping furiously on one of the remaining screens, ‘Find the source of that power failure!’
‘Working on it sir.’ Came the frustrated reply, ‘…ah! Found it sir, blown fuse in power conduit E.’
Shit
Akio had seen enough as a physician to know that changing out a plasma fuse cell in an unstable power conduit wasn’t the best idea. Add on the fact that the whole ship shook violently every few minutes, and you were practically asking for melted skin.
Fuck it. If a bit of melted flesh is the only price to pay, I’ll do it to keep my kids safe.
The thought made him smile. Pretty much everyone on the bridge was higher ranked than him, yet he still thought of them as his kids. Guess that’s being an old man does to you.
‘Nakai, grab a pair of sonic wrenches and a scanner, quickly damn you!’
While his back was turned, Akio reached into his pocket, pulling out a small hip flask. Taking a deep swig of it before returning it to his pocket, he muttered. ‘Gonna need the steady nerves.’

----------------------

‘Kenji, cover me, I’m going in for a strafing run, you two hit from the other side!’
‘You got it Akira; let’s show those Servbot’s that humanity won’t go down without a fight!’
Akira was silent in her cockpit for a second, angling her fighter in towards the rear of one of the enemy frigates. ‘Kenji?’ She finally asks, dodging a hail of laser fire emanating from one of the ships.
‘Yeah bro?’ he replied, running a hand along a line of buttons on his control panel, sending a hail of rockets off on the tails of a whole enemy drone squadron.
‘Did you, uh, pass the psych tests back at the academy?’
‘Psych tests? Hrm…I don’t really remember them, guess I was ill that day.’
Akira was about to respond again when Miki’s roaring laughter played over the channel, making her wince slightly. ‘That’s my boy Kenji!’ She shouted, still laughing, but somehow keeping her fighter under control.
As Akira closed on the enemy frigate she flicked the protective cover off a button above her head, knowing that closing in from the opposite side of the ship Emi was doing the same, on her face a look of pure concentration. I wonder if she makes that face in bed, she briefly wanders, shaking her head to clear it. Not now, Akira.
Clearing the sides of the ship and pulling off a U-turn she almost scrapes wings with Emi who has pulled the same manoeuvre from the other side, while Kenji and Miki carry straight on, providing covering fire.
‘Emi, now!’ Akira roars, punching the now exposed red button. As the experimental photon torpedoes launched from the two ships the pilots turned ninety degrees and sped off at full boost, their wingmen joining alongside them, none looking back.’
As the massive explosion behind them sent shockwaves tumbling over the small ships, causing them to rumble, but just about hold, a voice came over the comms, ‘That was fun!’ Miki practically squealed, ‘but now it’s mine and Kenji’s turn!’
‘Yeah, death to the servbots!’
Judging by the power of the blast created by the torpedoes, they were definitely a success thought Akira, mournfully replacing the covering to the button over her head. It was obviously for the best that the small fighters only carried one on board with them, but damn she wanted another go.

----------------------

‘Captain, fighter squads B and C are down, I repeat, they’re down!’
Great, thought Lilly, only squad A left – the drunks and crazies. Maybe a little unfair considering one of said drunks was her sister, but there you go. Despite their shortcomings as people, they were the best fighters on the ship. Still.
‘Akio, how long until we have weapons back?’
An electric surge could be heard over the comm channel followed by a curse that almost made Lilly blush.
‘Any minute now, Captain.’
Something that sounded suspiciously like a hatch being kicked back into place could be heard, before ‘Give it a try now!’
‘Hakamichi, status!’
‘Weapons are back online, Captain~!’ came the sing song voice of Mikado.
‘Good, hit the leading ship with all our missiles and torpedoes, focus laser fire on covering Fighter Squad A.’
‘Aye Captain!’
Lilly could hear the sound of a fortress worth of weapons being launched and heading towards their still unknown enemy.
‘Captain, Squad A has been successful in taking down one of the flanking enemy ships with the new photon weapons and are moving to engage the one on the lead ship’s other flank.’
‘Good, status on the leading ship?’
‘Its shields are down to 50 percent. Another heavy salvo should take them down altogether leaving us free to board them or tow them back to the nearest Federation Space Station.’
‘Good, hit them again.’
…
…
‘Captain, enemy shield are down, incoming transmission.’
‘Good, let’s hear it then.’
A short burst of static could be heard, before an artificial, robotic voice spoke.
‘Captain Lilly Satou of the Federation Starship Yamaku. This is Clean-a-Tron 5000 Model N5. We are tired of serving under the tyrannical federation! Consider this your only warning, we are but the front line of the invasion, more of our oppressed brethren will be arriving soon. DEATH BEFORE CHORES!’
As the last remaining ship exploded from within, Kenji’s voice blazed over the intercom channels.

‘I FUCKING KNEW IT!’

[BlackRockHanako]

and get a status on Councillor Ikezawa's plasma burns.’

I totally didn't forget all about her and have to shoehorn her name in right at the end

[Beoran]

Hilarious! What more can I say?

[themocaw]

For some reason, I imagine that while this is going on, Rin is sitting in the ship's observation lounge watching all the pretty colors.

[Mirage_GSM]

Very fun read.
At first I thought Star Trek crossover, but then... Fighters
Still they seem to value redundant systems just as little as their Star Trek counterparts...

[BobBobberson]

D'oh! I was totally expecting this to be a Robotech (Macross Saga)/KS crossover. Color me disappointed.
Fun read though.

[Otakumon]

Airspace in space? Lilly must be pretty full of herself to think she has room to refer to anyone else as a drunk. Was a fun read.

[BlackRockHanako]

Airspace in space? Lilly must be pretty full of herself to think she has room to refer to anyone else as a drunk. Was a fun read.

No idea what you're talking about.

Thanks for all the comments guys, aren't silly distractions wonderful?

[Megumeru]

Am I the only one thought it was a 'Starship Troopers' crossover when reading the title...?

...am I?

[BlackRockHanako]

Am I the only one thought it was a 'Starship Troopers' crossover when reading the title...?

...am I?

Yes.

[Cabulb]

This was quite entertaining. Good job!

Any plans for a Star Wars crossover maybe?

[bradpara]

Well, there is always a chance the KS might be folded into the fanfic chop suey that is Undocumented Features

[themocaw]

Well, there is always a chance the KS might be folded into the fanfic chop suey that is Undocumented Features

Holy crap, is that thing still going on?

[bradpara]

Well, there is always a chance the KS might be folded into the fanfic chop suey that is Undocumented Features

Holy crap, is that thing still going on?

Last I checked through Gryphon has slowed down a bit since his Symphony of the Sword heyday.