And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End- (Ch4 up)

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Ascended Flutist
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And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End- (Ch4 up)

Post by Ascended Flutist » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:07 am

Hello and welcome ladies, gentlemen and individuals of mysterious and indistinct gender to the beginning of a hopefully inspired (don't hold your breath) series of fan-fiction featuring mainly Hanako, Hisao, vanilla and words. There's going to be many words, and this is going to be light-hearted. I you can't handle words, or if you swear only by brooding and staring at skulls while desperately pondering the meaning of life, read no further!

First off, legalities! You can pass on that. Reading is optional.
The images were taken from the Elder Scrolls series of video games or from websites created and owned by Bethesda Softworks, the copyright of which is held by Bethesda Softworks. All trademarks and registered trademarks present in the image are proprietary to Bethesda Softworks, the inclusion of which implies no affiliation with the author of these works or this forum. The use of images to illustrate these works is believed to fall under the fair use clause of copyright law of the United States.

Now I am aware that I already have some friendly and respected competition who does the same sort of work, so here's the deal :
(reading this is optional if you have common sense)
1- Although constructive criticism is always welcome, if you're just going to tell me how awful my fics are (I know they are), don't, and read the friendly and respected competition's work instead. Chances are you'll like it. I like it. Except if you want me to feel bad about myself, then, by all means!
2- If you didn't like the friendly and respected competition's work but, for some reason, you liked mine, do not go to his thread just to say you didn't like it and mine's better. It's mean and pointless. Please do not compare our work. We're different writers with different styles and different ideas, and whether you prefer one or the other is entirely subjective. Hell, even me calling him competition is wrong.
3-If you are begging for Hanako/Hisao vanilla fanfic but like neither of our work, please have a cookie as a consolation prize. I'm sorry.
4-I swear to Almighty God or local equivalent that all ideas present are in no way ripped off the friendly and respected competition's work. If you notice similar ideas, it's because we've had similar ideas. Deal with it.

Updates are : When it's done, aka soon™. I'm rather busy at this point in time, and I tend not to be inspired when I have to, so updates will come, but they will be few and far between. A warning has been given.


Without further verbose, let us begin.


TABLE OF CONTENT
_____________________

1 - Soft Passage

2 - Present Pieces

3 - Free to Soar

4 - Something Old, Something New
_____________________

Go to Next Post | See Changelog


Imageoft Passage


"Then please accept my first gift to you, Hisao..."
"Hanako...?"
Her kiss takes me completely by surprise. For two full seconds I just stand there, not quite computing what's going on. My brain kicks back in when her soft lips press firmly against my slightly open mouth, warping my arms around her back and fully opening my mouth to return the gesture.
My mind swirls with the sensation. It's my first kiss, after all. Yet, for some reason, something tells me this whole situation feels off. I feel like we're being watched...

Oh, yes.

We're on the street.

The annoying something tells me I should care more.

Hanako is my girlfriend. Hanako is confident.

I'm sent spinning into an ocean of bliss.

Nothing exists in this world anymore, except us.


Our embrace lasts one eternity.


Then two eternities.


Then three etern-
*GURGLE*

I literally hate my gut right now.

Our lips part way. I open my eyes to look at her. Her expression is an odd mix of wistful and amused.
"Uh, thanks..." I utter dazedly.
The earnest smile I've learned to treasure draws on her face. Here goes another wave of joy.
"There's...a pastry shop just there." She points to my right.

My gaze turns toward all kinds of delicious-looking baked stuff begging for a bite. Or several. The growls of my stomach grow louder at the sight, and I also begin to notice that the full spectrum of human reactions is painted on the faces of the people around us.
Right. Kissing in public. I blush a little when I recognize the face of a girl of our class. Looking back at Hanako, I find her cheeks rather rosy as well.

"Do they accept kissing people in here?" I ask jokingly. I may feel embarrassed, but I'm too happy about how today's ordeal turned out to really care.
"O-only one way to find out." She beams yet another smile at me, grabs my hand and darts for the shop; which now doubles as an improvised escape plan from the staring crowd.


After paying for the meal and sneaking out of the shop as stealthily as possible, we go back to the park, sit on a bench and start digging in our entirely sweet-based prize.
I guess it's fitting.
I got myself a raspberry...cake-thing, and Hanako settled for a big chocolate éclair. We were rather dumbfounded to find such elaborate pastries in this little town but I'm not one to complain.

We quickly eat our meal, occasionally exchanging mouthfuls with the tiny plastic fork we were given alongside our food, smiling broadly when we do. We're silent, but I'm fine with that silence. Everything we had to say, we did in this same park. We have each other, we're enjoying pastries together, we're enjoying the weather together, and we're understanding each other better. Words are no use to us now.


As I put the bag beside us, Hanako moves closer to me and snuggles her head against my shoulder, pressing it further when I put my hand on her waist, letting out a small content sigh when I lean my head against hers. It feels cosy here all of a sudden. I really don't feel like moving, and judging by her peaceful expression, nor does she. Her bangs fall neatly on her right cheek, efficiently covering her scars.
I guess that helps, though seeing how close she's nestling to me, I must have a part in in too.

We stay like this for a while.

...

...I only regain the sense of time passing when the light becomes noticably more orange.
"We should probably head back," I whisper.
"Hmmm," is all that comes out of her. She seemed so snug. Shame this day can't last longer.
We stand up and dust ourselves. I reach out my hand, which she promptly takes.

Off to Yamaku.


We make our way back to the dorms with the same sense of peace we've experienced all afternoon.
It's a nice change of pace : Looking back to it, my mind had been solely focused on Hanako ever since she had her panic attack. Even after her birthday, when I followed Lilly's advice and dealt with my own issues, it was still there, on the back of my mind, and occasionally my thoughts drifted back to the sea of questions concerning her : "What does she really think of me? What am I feeling for her?" and the most recurring one : "How can I save her?"

Knowing what she told me today, that last question fills me with disgust. I really was clueless all along.

At least not anymore.

I'm looking at her now. The relaxed pace we're walking at makes her hair gracefully swing back and forth. Her face looks pretty, bathing in the orange sunset light. I don't even pay attention to the scars anymore. To me, they've just become another feature, something like a birthmark. It doesn't make her any less charming.

I realize I've actually been staring at her for some time, and now she's quizzically glancing at me.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing. You're really beautiful."
...That just came out.
She's blushing scarlet. I assume. I can't really tell with the light.
"Y-you don't r-really m-m-mean..." she stammers.
"I do," I reply with a smile and a squeeze of her hand. I really do after all, no point in having her thinking otherwise.

She smiles back, saying nothing more. She walks closer to me, and holds my hand a little tighter. Her smile lingers on her face for quite some time.


I'm feeling tired by the time we've made it to the dorms.
I really wish it took more than a walk up a hill to exhaust me. I'm sure Hanako noticed it too, even though she doesn't seem to mind. I guess she overlooks my being ragged the same way I overlook her scars.
"Well, here we are," I manage to utter.
She nods.
"So, uh, thanks for the...gift. That was really lovely."
"Anytime," She replies with a smile. There's something new in that smile. Playfulness? I think it is. As always, her contagious smile creeps on my own face, and it's enough to perk me up.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning, then," I add in a more joyful tone.
"Okay."
"Good night, Hanako."
"Night, Hisao."
Today turned out to be a good day.


I trudge to my room, hoping against hope that Kenji isn't lurking in the corridors. The tension rises as I walk. I'm facing the door... nothing. I'm putting my hand on the knob... nothing. I'm... turning the knob. nothing. I'm opening the door. nothing. I'm closing the door...
Nothing.
That was draining. Who would have thought that coming back to one's room could be so tiresome?
With what little energy I have left, I fall on my bed, face first. Uncomfortable. I turn my face to the right, and gaze at my drawer and the pile of medications sitting here.

I was, well... in Hanako's bedroom this morning, so I didn't have the chance to take them today.

Oh. OH. So that's why I'm feeling so tired.
With a sigh, I proceed to gulp down the rows of pills. Can't be bothered with a shower though. Too tired. Sleep will come soon enough.
...
...
...
Or maybe it won't.
"Side effects may include insomnia," it says on the bottle. I would know, I've been staring at it for ten minutes.

Sigh.

I suppose I could use the thinking time.
I still feel bad about what happened last night. It's funny, isn't it. I was constantly worrying about her while she was silently begging me not to, and in the one moment when I should have cared about what she feels, I act like an insensitive moron.

Good job, Hisao. You really nailed that one.

...I suppose we got better. Still, it's something I will need to tend to lest it durably stains our relationship.

Speaking of which...

My health hasn't improved since I got out of the hospital; I was just too shortsighted to care up until now. That needs to be addressed. What is the point of Hanako overcoming her social awkwardness and us becoming a couple if I get to die in my twenties, or thirties? I want to enjoy my life with her for as long as any other guy would be able to.
Maybe I'm selfish thinking that way. But wouldn't I be even more selfish, not to mention stupid, if I kept trying to bury the issue, if I went on like nothing happened after that snowy day except for a few change of habits? I owe it to myself, and more importantly to her not to let my condition rule over my life.

I'll give the morning runs another shot. Nurse advised it, so chances are it could help. And I got the feeling Emi liked having someone along. If she's still running in the mornings. That would make things easier, I admit.
I set the alarm clock to...way sooner than I'm used to. My tomorrow-self is going to hate my tonight-self. I'll have to tell myself it's for the greater good.
With these resolutions firmly imprinted in my mind, I finally manage to get some sleep.
Today turned out to be a good day.


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Last edited by Ascended Flutist on Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:23 pm, edited 13 times in total.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:49 am

It's too soon to tell if you're going anywhere interesting with the story, but I have one piece of advice right now:
Find some way to indicate the passage of time other than dozens of consecutive empty lines. It gets annoying really fast.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Ascended Flutist » Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:45 pm

Noted. Do you have any suggestions about that ?
As for the story, it'll mostly be self-contained snippets of life like this one, with some connections from one chapter to the other, but hardly any overarching plot. I'm pretty much using the same format as tony246, just, well, with different stories.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

Nice hat.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Brogurt » Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:02 pm

Ascended Flutist wrote:if you swear only by brooding and staring at skulls while desperately pondering the meaning of life
I feel like that was almost entirely aimed at me.

Anyway, do you know tony IRL or something? I don't think anyone on these forums would actually take sides in this competition you're having or whatever, and you sure seem to love referencing him.
Then three etern-
*GURGLE*

I literally hate my gut right now.
I was expecting vomit, and was succinctly disappointed. To be fully honest, I think the only time it's acceptable to describe sounds in that manner is when it involves heart palpitations, since there is an visual cue ingame that can't exactly be conveyed with text.

And of course, the lines of blank text were less than visually pleasing. If I were you, I'd put some ellipses in those spaces, although some people swear by NEVER using ellipses in that manner, and instead using filler text. I think both alternatives are better than nothing.

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Ascended Flutist
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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Ascended Flutist » Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:11 pm

Brogurt wrote: I feel like that was almost entirely aimed at me.
It was aimed at no-one in particular. Please don't take it personally. =)
Brogurt wrote: Anyway, do you know tony IRL or something? I don't think anyone on these forums would actually take sides in this competition you're having or whatever, and you sure seem to love referencing him.
I haven't had the pleasure to meet him IRL, and, to clarify, that competition-thing was mostly jesting on my part. I do not see this as a competition, but since our work are in a similar format and are mostly about the same thing, we're eventually going to be compared. Call this a preventive strike, even though I know these parts are rather civil. It's a very nice sub-forum you have there.
Also I liked what he did so I made sure to mention him. It seemed only appropriate.

Brogurt wrote: I was expecting vomit, and was succinctly disappointed.
Puke isn't on my feature list. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Brogurt wrote: If I were you, I'd put some ellipses in those spaces
Ellipses should do the trick. Thanks !
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

Nice hat.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Roamin12 » Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:11 pm

Looks alright so far, I'll probably keep an eye on this.
First Play through: Lilly>Hanako>Emi>Rin>Shizune
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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Beoran » Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:31 am

A fun, simple story that should be told anyway. But yes, watch the formatting. Keep at it!
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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by ThistlewickVII » Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:57 am

This is really good. I can't wait to continue reading!
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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by griffon8 » Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:38 pm

Nice so far. Let's see what you can do. I must admit that Hisao starting up morning runs with Emi is very likely in all paths except Shizune's, possibly Rin's. Hisao just doesn't have enough activity for his health.

Except, of course, for 'healthy adolescent sex drive'.
Ascended Flutist wrote:The earnest smile I've learned to treasure draws on her face. Her goes another wave of joy.
Did you mean 'here'? 'Her' doesn't make sense to me.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Suox » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:39 pm

.
Last edited by Suox on Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Ascended Flutist » Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:31 am

griffon8 wrote:Did you mean 'here'? 'Her' doesn't make sense to me.
Corrected at light of speed - ε .
Roamin12 wrote: Looks alright so far, I'll probably keep an eye on this.
Beoran wrote:A fun, simple story that should be told anyway. But yes, watch the formatting. Keep at it!
ThistlewickVII wrote:This is really good. I can't wait to continue reading!
griffon8 wrote:Nice so far. Let's see what you can do.
Suox wrote:Nice and fluffy. Love it. Do you plan on continuing this?
Thanks for the praise everybody ! Very much appreciated, if a little surprising.

Yes, I plan on continuing this. I have several ideas for around four other chapters, and most of the work consists of fleshing them out. If you need an estimate, the second chapter is about 30% complete. But as I've said, I won't give an ETA on it. I got other stuff to do, and I can't let fanfics get in the way.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

Nice hat.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Daitengu » Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:17 am

Ascended Flutist wrote:Noted. Do you have any suggestions about that ?
As for the story, it'll mostly be self-contained snippets of life like this one, with some connections from one chapter to the other, but hardly any overarching plot. I'm pretty much using the same format as tony246, just, well, with different stories.
I think your adding in of events and descriptions like Hisao's stomach grumbling(indicating noon to afternoon) and sunset gave a decent enough relative telling of time.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Specter Von Baren » Mon Apr 16, 2012 11:54 pm

Very nice, very nice indeed. I saw a few errors here and there but I'll have to get to you about them some other time.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by Ascended Flutist » Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:43 am

Specter Von Baren wrote:Very nice, very nice indeed. I saw a few errors here and there but I'll have to get to you about them some other time.
Please do ! Every mistake that went through proofreading needs to be annihilated. And thanks for the praise !
Daitengu wrote:I think your adding in of events and descriptions like Hisao's stomach grumbling(indicating noon to afternoon) and sunset gave a decent enough relative telling of time.
Noted.

Your feedback is appreciated, and taken into account for the second chapter. Thanks for the various advices ! Hopefully the upcoming fic will be less of an eyesore thanks to them.
On a related note, I'm making steady progress in its writing, and it should be out by the end of the week.

Also, I'd appreciate if only one other person would coment after this post. I prefer to have my next chapter come out at the top of the page. Call it a whim.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

Nice hat.

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Re: And to Live in Peace -Post Hanako's Good End-

Post by griffon8 » Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:58 pm

Ascended Flutist wrote:Also, I'd appreciate if only one other person would coment after this post. I prefer to have my next chapter come out at the top of the page. Call it a whim.
Oh yeah? Well what if we decide we're just not going to comment at all anymore? Then what do you do?



Dammit!
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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