A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)

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Karl_Ravech

Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Karl_Ravech » Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:16 pm

hisao in total overprotective white knight mode? totally out of character, mang

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Lumi
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Lumi » Fri Aug 10, 2012 5:53 pm

The SUSPENSE!!!
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:47 pm

I even poured over my dad's old comic books...
I hope she didn't really pour anything over the comic books. Poring over them would be less wasteful.
glancing around in casing
She's in casing?

Got to hand it to you - even your typos make your story more fun to read ;-)

Oh, and probably a good thing she fell asleep then - the pills wouldn't have been useful after only two or three days of taking them.

I guess the exam questions are already part of the dream? Since these are hardly questions for 3rd year high schoolers...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Guest

Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Guest » Fri Aug 10, 2012 7:36 pm

argh, that cliffhanger! scissorlips, you glorious bastard. i salute thee.

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m19htym0u53
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by m19htym0u53 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:51 pm

I let the feeling of his touch envelope me.
Envelop
The room goes dark.
Reminded me of Lolawesome's story when the same thing happened :)
>

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AlchemistR
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by AlchemistR » Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:56 pm

I can't stop thinking about Suzu, you magnificent bastard of a writer, you.

I need moar. MOAR I SAY, MOAR. NOT MORE, MOAR.

I honestly can't wait until the next chapter(s). I like how you integrated the choice. ^-^
Image "This is me...all of me."
Image "He wouldn't wake up...The one time he actually needed me and I wasn't there for him!”

The Suzu quote comes from this.

Hanako>Suzu>Rin>Lilly=Miki=Emi>Misha>Shizune

Snoozu and Miki need routes. As do Kenji and Jigoro. No homo.

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andros414
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Re: If I Gave You My Love

Post by andros414 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 9:09 pm

Scissorlips wrote:[Accept.]
[I have to endure.]
I'm gonna call it now while I can: "Accepting" will lead to the Bad End, because it'll reinforce Hisao's thoughts of needing to save and protect Suzu. "Enduring" will be Good End because it'll show Hisao that she doesn't need to be protected.

Hm... Maybe we can expect an actual fight between Hisao and Lezard instead of just the words and glares we've seen so far. :twisted:
Shizune > Emi = Hanako > Lilly > Rin

Guest

Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Guest » Fri Aug 10, 2012 10:32 pm

Where the hell is Doomish with his fanart?

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Doomish
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Doomish » Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:40 am

Guest wrote:Where the hell is Doomish with his fanart?
Calm yourself. Sometimes people get busy! I don't know where Doomish is but I'm sure he'll show up someti- oh hey.

Art later. Busy writing things now.

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Scissorlips
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Scissorlips » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:29 am

Thank you for pointing out the handful of mistakes here and there. It's embarrassing and it's what I get for finishing at 6 AM, but it happened and the only thing to do is make corrections and deal with it. I found one that no one else did though, so ha, it will forever be a mystery.
Spry wrote:..Or will it?
Whoops. That's fixed now, I just got too used to pasting that thing in there. It's too handy.
theartificial wrote:I'm gonna go for bad end first, so that the good end can then recover me.
I have no comment and am going out of my way to say so, which is a comment in itself I guess. Also, nice avatar.
random wrote:Oh, Hisao didn't stay in Seiji's room, are the Suzukis rich?

Is the end in sight? Or are you planning another crescendo of hinted at feels?

Oh, the nagging thought of Suzu thinking Hisao is now coddling her ... I like, I like - definitely something that could build to an emotional event

There's only so many ways to thank you for this wonderful tale, and I'm sure all the others have stated it in ways lightyears better than I could ever do - but thank you and I now sit back and yearn for more
-He stayed in a guest room. I originally had a line clarifying this but had to remove it because it put the last chapter over the maximum character limit for a single post on the forums. And I see them as upper middle class, with the parents both working hard to support their comfortable lifestyle. Yamaku is a fairly expensive institution, after all.

-The end of act 3 is just about here, yes. But I'm also going to shoot for the feels one if possible.

Thank you very much. No matter how good a story is, it wouldn't be anything if there was no one to read it, so I refuse to stop thanking people for investing their time in my writing.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Got to hand it to you - even your typos make your story more fun to read ;-)

Oh, and probably a good thing she fell asleep then - the pills wouldn't have been useful after only two or three days of taking them.

I guess the exam questions are already part of the dream? Since these are hardly questions for 3rd year high schoolers...
Urhg. I'm glad there's at least a silver lining, haha.
About the birth control, it's really just semantics now, but Hisao could feasibly have been packing a condom given their prior experience at her house, or they could have stopped before it went that far, or something else like that could have happened. I can and will confirm that there is no 'bun in the oven' ending, however.
And for the test questions, too hard, or too easy? High school physics class was quite a long time ago for me, but they didn't seem to be anything too different from problems I would have seen back then. Thank you for pointing that out, though.
Guest wrote:argh, that cliffhanger! scissorlips, you glorious bastard. i salute thee.
Thank you. It's simply too much fun.
m19htym0u53 wrote:
I let the feeling of his touch envelope me.
Envelop
The room goes dark.
Reminded me of Lolawesome's story when the same thing happened :)
Fixed, thanks. And it's a fairly ubiquitous Suzu scene, it's been done before but that isn't enough to stop me from doing my own interpretation of it, especially since writing one-shot stories is completely different than writing a long, continuous piece like this. The former allows you to jump straight to specific scenes without having to worry about getting the characters to that point, or dealing with things like plot or pacing on a larger scale. No offense meant to lolawesome at all, I've already said that I miss having his input, and I enjoyed his stories just like everyone else did. I've also written more than a handful of one-shots myself, so doing this story has really helped me appreciate the finer points of both short and long pieces.
AlchemistR wrote:I can't stop thinking about Suzu, you magnificent bastard of a writer, you.

I need moar. MOAR I SAY, MOAR. NOT MORE, MOAR.

I honestly can't wait until the next chapter(s). I like how you integrated the choice. ^-^
Thank you very much. I seem to be getting called that a lot lately, I suppose there are much worse things to be known as.
Doomish wrote:Calm yourself. Sometimes people get busy! I don't know where Doomish is but I'm sure he'll show up someti- oh hey.

Art later. Busy writing things now.
No worries at all. I expect nothing from you or any other artists, and will always be grateful for anything you choose to contribute.


As always, thanks a lot for reading and even more for your feedback. More coming soonish.
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I'm a writer for a visual novel project called Familiarity, where I go by the name Lunch.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:56 am

And for the test questions, too hard, or too easy? High school physics class was quite a long time ago for me, but they didn't seem to be anything too different from problems I would have seen back then. Thank you for pointing that out, though.
Yes, the type of question is pretty common, but that is stuff we covered in 7th or 8th grade. In japanese schools that would be the first or second year of middle school, not the final year of high school.
In this case it's fine, though, since you can simply claim it's already part of the dream.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Vekter
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Vekter » Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:25 am

If this doesn't have a happy ending, I don't know what I'll do with myself. ಠ_ಠ

Keep 'em coming. I know what choice is the right one. I think. I hope. Damn you.

You are a magnificent bastard and I hate and love you at the same time.

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theartificial
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by theartificial » Sat Aug 11, 2012 6:40 am

Scissorlips wrote:
theartificial wrote:I'm gonna go for bad end first, so that the good end can then recover me.
I have no comment and am going out of my way to say so, which is a comment in itself I guess. Also, nice avatar.
I'll pretend I made sense of that. Cheers, I'm a fan of Suzu because of you. :P
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txalolrn9
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by txalolrn9 » Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:04 am

Every SuzuxHisao FF I've read has her falling asleep either when they're about to do it or during
It only hurts when I breathe

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Helbereth
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 8/10)

Post by Helbereth » Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:37 am

txalolrn9 wrote:Every SuzuxHisao FF I've read has her falling asleep either when they're about to do it or during
Seems like something completely normal to me. However, I think, in this case, Scissorlips did it to set up the following discussion, as well as avoid having an H-scene in what has been a rather T rated story.

To me, though, Suzu is starting to grate on my nerves in some ways. That's probably a good reaction since it shows the author isn't afraid to make their protagonist unlikable at times, but I kind of want to draw her a diagram or something so she sees what's right under her nose.

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