A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)

[Scissorlips]

The worst rainy day in a minute just got better.



Thank you.

For some reason, it's things like this that really make it worth it. Thank you. (:

I am really envious of your writing abilities, I can't put into words how much glee I've gotten from reading the entire thing today.
Just one think that made me feel slightly uneasy, I'm not familiar with the timeline but I was kinda thrown by the presence of Lilly, considering the ending of exams and discussions about the summer vacation... NOT THAT I'M SAYING YOU SHOULD CHANGE ANYTHING (Please don't change anything!!!!)

Oh whoa no, we're not that far into the school year yet, sorry if I've given that impression. The big end of term exams haven't started yet, the physics test was just a normal test (like the one that they have the day after the festival). Summer vacation has been mentioned a few times, and it's on its way, but it's not quite that near yet. You do raise a good point in that Lilly should be leaving for Scotland the first time pretty soon now, so don't expect to see much of her for a while, if at all. Thanks for mentioning that, and thanks for reading. (:

I noticed you spelled dessert as 'desert' more than once in a short space of time in the latest update. I'm not one to criticise people's spelling, but thought you might find it helpful.

I thought that Kenji was going to make up with Suzu and Hisao by giving her all the books he stole from the library as a peace offering.

As per suzual, your writing leaves me wanting to read more of it.

Fixed, thanks. And that's actually a pretty good idea, I wish I had thought of it.

How much longer is this whole "Suzu's mysterious dead ex" thing going to go on for? It's starting to drag a little.

Thank you for letting me know. It can be difficult to balance properly building something and laying bread crumbs without dragging it out, so I'll try to keep it more concise. With the relationship between Suzu and Hisao developing more, it won't be featured as much, but it is of course going to come out again because I'll say that it's extremely important to her character. That and never explaining it would be a total dick move and I wouldn't do something like that. Probably.

Thought Hisao's confession sort of lacked the emotional OOMPH, when it's been sort of built up as such

I can see what you mean. I tried to go back and look through the game for things that could help me write the scene, but actual details on the specifics of his condition are pretty scarce, and I would need those to not have the majority of it happen off screen. And not that it excuses my scene since I did choose to build it up, but I found it interesting that all of the girls in the game find out about his heart in act 1 except for Hanako and Shizune. Hanako's is at the end of her act 2 if I remember, and Shizune, that whole thing is just kind of dropped like a sack of potatoes. Anyway, like I said, I chose to do it differently so I'm accountable for that. I probably should have fleshed out the afterwards more at least instead of moving on so quickly.

You're probably used to this by now, but this is honestly one of the best KS fics I've ever read. Stories like this make me wish there had been more routes. There's one thing I've been curious about as I've been reading this, was the amusement park dream inspired by Yume Miru Kusuri?

I don't know how anyone could get used to something like that, thanks. Like, a lot. And I've been wanting to do an amusement park scene in one of my other stories for a while, but that one is quite stalled and I ended up working in the idea here. Playing YMK definitely helped me cement the way I wanted that scene to go though, this background in particular.

it's lelouch, i tells ya

At first I was like what, no, but then I realized that's actually not a bad guess. Still off though, sorry.

Thank you very much for the responses everyone. Feedback and criticism are both equally important to me, and I want my story to be the best it can be, so never worry about hurting my feelings if something is bothering you or you think it could have been handled better.
Uh. You guys can go back to... whatever it is you were talking about, I'm not quite sure anymore.

[Howl]

Can I marry you?

[Quantum Toast]

I think this is now my favourite route.

[griffon8]

The problem with saving this one for last after not being here for several days is that it's now after midnight where I am. I've got to get some sleep myself.

Damn this is good stuff.

What would Hisao's superhero name be?

Based on the pattern she's using, Heartbreaker of course.

[Helbereth]

The problem with saving this one for last after not being here for several days is that it's now after midnight where I am. I've got to get some sleep myself.

Damn this is good stuff.

What would Hisao's superhero name be?

Based on the pattern she's using, Heartbreaker of course.

So then it would be Stumpfist, Narcolepta and The Heartbreaker?

Sounds more like a band than a group of superheroes.

Who would be the villains, then?

Deafcharge and Thunderlaugh? (Shizune and Misha)

[semy32]

“His cooking is a lot better than whatever you do with one hand!”

I'm not sure if this was discussed before or not but,

Is that sentence related to cooking or some other activity?

[random]

it's lelouch, i tells ya

At first I was like what, no, but then I realized that's actually not a bad guess. Still off though, sorry.

Thank you very much for the responses everyone. Feedback and criticism are both equally important to me, and I want my story to be the best it can be, so never worry about hurting my feelings if something is bothering you or you think it could have been handled better.
Uh. You guys can go back to... whatever it is you were talking about, I'm not quite sure anymore.

That was just my joke guess

My real guess is that it's an OC

can you at least confirm/deny that?

[Helbereth]

My real guess is that it's an OC

can you at least confirm/deny that?

That would probably be giving away a truckload of future emotional bombardment, so I really doubt he'll just announce who it is in the thread. That would be like telling people who Keyser Söze is at the beginning of The Usual Suspects.

Sure it would clear up some confusion, but it would also blow the whole ending. Or, in this case, a pretty big plot point.

[Scissorlips]

Is that sentence related to cooking or some other activity?

Well, it is Miki speaking after all...

So then it would be Stumpfist, Narcolepta and The Heartbreaker?

Sounds more like a band than a group of superheroes.

Who would be the villains, then?

Deafcharge and Thunderlaugh? (Shizune and Misha)

Yes, this is happening. Not sure about Thunderlaugh, but I freaking love Deafcharge.

My real guess is that it's an OC

can you at least confirm/deny that?

That would probably be giving away a truckload of future emotional bombardment, so I really doubt he'll just announce who it is in the thread. That would be like telling people who Keyser Söze is at the beginning of The Usual Suspects.

Sure it would clear up some confusion, but it would also blow the whole ending. Or, in this case, a pretty big plot point.

While that would certainly spoil a lot and I wouldn't want to give that away early, I believe what he's asking is simply clarification on whether or not the character is an existing one or an OC. I don't think saying so will spoil too much, that's why I said that Lelouche wasn't actually a bad guess at all, because I can't really think of any other existing characters that would be applicable in these circumstances. I prefer not to make use of OCs unless their presence is understandably needed, and I believe this is one such occasion. And even if it's not, it's what's happening. So yes, it's not someone that you've met before. Although... I will say that by now you should--nah, never mind, I won't say it.

[random]

My real guess is that it's an OC

can you at least confirm/deny that?

That would probably be giving away a truckload of future emotional bombardment, so I really doubt he'll just announce who it is in the thread. That would be like telling people who Keyser Söze is at the beginning of The Usual Suspects.

Sure it would clear up some confusion, but it would also blow the whole ending. Or, in this case, a pretty big plot point.

While that would certainly spoil a lot and I wouldn't want to give that away early, I believe what he's asking is simply clarification on whether or not the character is an existing one or an OC. I don't think saying so will spoil too much, that's why I said that Lelouche wasn't actually a bad guess at all, because I can't really think of any other existing characters that would be applicable in these circumstances. I prefer not to make use of OCs unless their presence is understandably needed, and I believe this is one such occasion. And even if it's not, it's what's happening. So yes, it's not someone that you've met before. Although... I will say that by now you should--nah, never mind, I won't say it.

Yeah, I just wanted a confirmation on if the character is an OC, so people would stop naming every possible male background character

saying any more would ruin the surprise

So thank you and looking forward to the rest of this fantastic fanfic

[crushinator]

I noticed you spelled dessert as 'desert' more than once in a short space of time in the latest update. I'm not one to criticise people's spelling, but thought you might find it helpful.

I thought that Kenji was going to make up with Suzu and Hisao by giving her all the books he stole from the library as a peace offering.

As per suzual, your writing leaves me wanting to read more of it.

Fixed, thanks. And that's actually a pretty good idea, I wish I had thought of it.

It's not too late! You can retcon, screw artistic integrity or whatever.

[Helbereth]

So then it would be Stumpfist, Narcolepta and The Heartbreaker?

Sounds more like a band than a group of superheroes.

Who would be the villains, then?

Deafcharge and Thunderlaugh? (Shizune and Misha)

Yes, this is happening. Not sure about Thunderlaugh, but I freaking love Deafcharge.

What have I done?

[Helbereth]

I put together some fan art.

I could imagine Miki drawing this on the chalkboard:

Kiss him, GAYLORD!

[random]

I put together some fan art.

I could imagine Miki drawing this on the chalkboard:

Kiss him, GAYLORD!

BBZZZZTTTTT

“I'm Suzu's phone and I'm getting a text message.”

BBZZZZTTTTT

“I'm Suzu's phone and I'm getting a text message.”


click OPEN MESSAGE


[Touch his penis alrdy, GAYLORD]

... MIKI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Panthour]

I put together some fan art.

I could imagine Miki drawing this on the chalkboard:

Kiss him, GAYLORD!

Hahaha awesome! Scissorlips needs to put this on the first post with the other fan art stuff.