A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)

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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Roamin12 » Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:48 am

I loved this chapter so much! You, sir, are a fantastic writer.
First Play through: Lilly>Hanako>Emi>Rin>Shizune
Second Play Through: Hanako>Rin>Lilly>Shizune>Emi
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by grey_ » Fri Jun 08, 2012 3:56 pm

Oh god. Owch man. Owch. That dream. That hurt. OWCH.
"HI. IT'S HISAO."
Also Japanese does not have capital letters. They have something sorta like it but it's not the same as what we call capital letters.
Either way. Holy fuck you are a great writer and oh muh gawd please do not stop you glorious bastard.
Uhh

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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:32 pm

They have romaji, which is the western alphabet.
I imagine someone who is unfamiliar with texting would use those instead of figuring out how to get his cell phone to produce kanji.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Scissorlips » Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:50 am

First off, thank you to everyone for the frankly overwhelming response. Um. Long story short I'm extremely glad that KS convinced me to pick up writing again because it's been an incredible experience to be able to have my work reach so many people.
Let me please try to make some specific points:
Ascended Flutist wrote:There hasn't really been anything that griped me so far. Good flow/pacing, some romance, some drama, some intrigue, some humor, all of it is great. That must be frustrating for you, but you're too good for me to criticize. So sorry.

Concerning things I liked so far: Suzu is endearing. That's the most fitting adjective I could think of. Be sure to keep her that way, unless you want to have some drama. Funnily enough, the previous sentence applies to your story as much as it applies to these forums.

As for things I'd like to see/wouldn't like to see, I do have something:

If you're going to go somewhere else with the dream sequences, be sure to keep them as well tought out as the battleship/Amusement park scene. You could go for something outlandish 'cause, y'know, it's a bloody dream, but it shouldn't be just there doing its own thing and disregarding the rest of the act in a most shocking display of selfishness.
Then again, you most probably thought of that before, and that probably won't be helpful either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not at all, even taking the time to say "I have nothing to complain about" still helps me more than nothing. I'm really glad that Suzu's character has become something believable and maybe even something that people can relate to. That was one of my biggest challenges in the beginning, was making sure that she had a concrete personality, that people could say "what would Suzu do in this situation?". If after this point I asked someone "well, what's (my interpretation of) Suzu like?" and they couldn't really respond, I would know that I had failed as a writer to establish a character. As for the dreams, you have a point, that's a careful balance that needs to be struck. I certainly can't use the "it was all a dream" plot device very much, if ever, again.
Ascended Flutist wrote:You thought this was over? So did I, but then this occured to me: You seem to be getting close to the science stuff. If you want to continue down that road, and if science isn't your thing, I'll be happy to provide physics/math-type exams snippets ranging from "trivial" to "tears of scientists distilled into pure agony" and geared towards japanese high schoolers.
That would be pretty helpful actually. I don't know how much more science knowledge I'll really need to fill in Hisao's banter with, but it's good to know that if I do need some insight I know where to go. (:
Thanks for taking the time to write up all that.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Damn you, this ate up almost all my time until I have to go to work!
Excellent chapter(s). I was a bit disappointed it turned out to be a dream. Challenged my suspension of disbelief, but that might be just because I never have dreams as detailed or as realistic as this.
Oh, and in the first chapter you mixed up on and no once.
I know that feeling, and thank you. I really considered leaving out the last bit because the scene on the bench with the fireworks turned out much better than I expected, but that would require me going back and either heavily changing or throwing out the rollercoaster scene entirely, as well as changing a bunch of other little things. Besides, I couldn't resist the opportunity to punch everyone in the gut, I just enjoy doing that too much, sorry. (:
And thanks for pointing that out, (at least) one or two little things always, always slip through.

Capricorn wrote:Best of luck on continuing your endeavor, and yes I created a forum account just to post this.
To me that's quite a compliment, thanks.
uwa wrote:I was distracted by the weird classmate sighting, thinking that maybe Lezard was stalking them and that would be the conflict of the route.
That would certainly be... interesting.
grey_ wrote:Wait wait.
So Mutou opened a door, stood there, doing nothing, then Suzu closed the door on him? A teacher? And he just stood there?
lolwhut
It's... kind of a suspension of disbelief thing. Like, he walked in on a very awkward moment, and Mutou is kind of an awkward person himself, so the easiest solution for everyone was to just close the door and pretend like nothing had happened. They weren't breaking any rules or anything, so he had no reason to stop them. It's kind of a silly scene that I always enjoy doing.
grey_ wrote:Also Japanese does not have capital letters. They have something sorta like it but it's not the same as what we call capital letters.
I wish I could say that I totally had what Mirage said in mind, but I'll be honest and say that it was just another little detail that I missed. Thank you for letting me know.

Thank you very, very much to everyone for your kind words. Here are couple things that I have planned next:
-Later next week once finals are over with, I plan to start working on Act 3. Before that though, I would like to release a few tiny little "extra" stories - just small little ideas or scenes that wouldn't fit into the theme, pacing, or timeline of the route. I have one such scene already completed but want to give it a little more polish, not to mention that it's a tad grimdark so I want something lighter to help contrast. If possible I would like to do the same thing between acts 3 and 4 as well, as getting further along in the story will open up more venues for exploration.
-I am going to go back and add chapter summaries to the first post, mostly because I look at the list of chapters and can't remember what the hell happened in half of them, so how can I expect anyone else to. In the interest of not spoiling things, I'll only add summaries to chapters once the next chapter after that is posted.
-Some awesome artists from the /vg/ KS general threads have drawn a few scenes from the route and I'm extremely grateful. Once I have permission from all of them I'll add links at the end of each chapter that has art for it to each piece, as well as a link to each artist's respective page (deviantart, tumblr, etc) to the first post.
Again, thank you to everyone who took the time to respond or even just read. Please stay tuned for further updates, or something like that.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by griffon8 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:11 pm

*Refreshes tab open to KS Fan Fiction*

*Notices update of pseudo-pseudo Suzu route*

*Saving best for last, reads everything else before reading Suzu story*

*Takes so long to get through everything that now there are 18 other threads that need reading*

*Finds it soooo worth it*

I'll admit I was a little suspicious when Suzu casually mentions the sign about persons with heart conditions. When the interruption came, I was worried that, instead of being woken up from a dream, an idiot classmate found them in the park.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Forgetful » Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:48 pm

Maybe I should have expected something amiss but I didn't. Looking back through it gives a few clues to what was happening.

Well done.

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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Total Destruction » Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:30 am

I don't think I'm ever going to play a game of Battleship without tearing up ever again. Dammit.

You rule.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Zombiedude101 » Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:19 am

Indeed I cannot wait for the next brilliant segment of this excellent story.
I support Snoozu.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (updated 6/6)

Post by Scissorlips » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:48 am

Hello everyone. Here are those extra scenes that I promised, like I said, they're just short little ideas that I wanted to explore, but don't fit into the style, timeline, or format of the main story. I've also updated the first post with chapter summaries (effective after posting these two), and I've included links to all the artwork that some of the great artists in the community have produced related to my story. The first post now includes links to general pieces, while the end of Who Loves Me, Gazing At The Glare, I Can See It In Your Face, Gold Coast Hustle, So Much In The Dark, and Looking For Love (But Not So Sure) all include links to relevant pictures. I am extremely grateful to Thighs, Doomish and Skrats for providing the awesome artwork.
With all that said, I hope you enjoy these two little short stories. The first was primarily inspired by the song it's named after, while the second was mostly a silly attempt to relieve the grimdark of the first. Thanks for coming this far with me, and I hope to start Act 3 a little later in the week once I'm done with finals.
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Time

Post by Scissorlips » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:48 am

Time
-During their 2nd year at Yamaku, Suzu goes for an impromptu moonlight stroll. Miki gives chase.



This isn't funny anymore. How the hell is she so fast? My legs pound the floor beneath me, but she's still ahead of me, about to dart up another flight of stairs. Damn it Suzu, damn it, damn it, slow down!

In the few months I've known her, I've never seen her move this fast for anything. Normally running around and other intense physical stuff like that is dangerous for her, since she's liable to conk out just about anytime.

That's not an issue right now though.

Suzu bolts ahead of me, reaching the base of the stairs up to the third floor, where she stops for a moment and looks back at me. I think she's looking at me anyway, then again, maybe I hope she isn't with an expression like that. Her face is streaked with tears, her eyes wide open and terrified but empty at the same time. She's both scared out of her goddamn mind and determined, looking like she wants to scream, like she wants to swing wildly in rage and desperation and who the hell knows what else. For a moment I slow down, I guess it's a little impressive and almost intimidating at the same time, but then she turns and begins pounding up the stairs, moving as fast as she can.

Goddamn it, Suzu. Just wake up already.

Please.

I give chase, who the hell knows what she might do in this condition. I'm just glad she isn't screaming anymore, like she was one floor ago. How the hell did I get myself into this? What was I doing before--oh yeah, right. A freaking bowl of noodles, five minutes ago, that's all.




I slump onto the bed, well and completely exhausted after another day of track practice. It's been a few months, but the guys are finally starting to get used to getting shown up by a girl, or one that isn't Ibarazaki, at least. I got a little bit closer to her time today though, if I can just keep inching up... ah, who the hell am I kidding. That girl is too damn fast, she runs like the starting line is made of wolves and the finish line is made of cake, or something like that.

I turn onto my back, staring up at my ceiling and trying not to feel bitter. Being in second place ain't so bad. And besides, at least I've still got my legs. If I was like that, I would run for all I'm worth too.

My skin is still flush from a nice hot shower, damn it feels good to take one this late. Let's see, what else do I have to do tonight. There's that movie I borrowed from Takashi... seems pretty artsy. Might be too “deep” for me, he would probably say that. Pssh, he'd be surprised, but screw him, it looks boring anyway. I've got some math homework, but... yeah... no.

Huh. Damn, I guess tonight might be a pretty boring night after all. I glance at the clock, turns out it's actually a lot later than I thought. I guess I could just go to bed. Or I could... well...

Nah. I'm actually kind of hungry. With some effort, I manage to separate myself from my bed and lurch over to my desk. Let's see, nothing here, this bag is... nah, don't wanna eat that. I reach for one of the drawers, and realize a second later that I'm trying to open it with the wrong hand. Goddammit. They said this was going to take some getting used to. Like they know how this feels. To be stuck with this stupid, ugly... stump.

Stump. Damn it. That's what my left hand is now.

I still keep it wrapped in the bandages, I don't know, maybe anything is better than looking at that empty space, that blank nub of skin. I resist the urge to compare my two wrists, instead using my “good” hand to pull open my desk drawer. Awesome, some instant noodles. It'll have to do.

Prize in hand--hand... ha ha. Damn it.--I slip out my door and begin making my way towards the common room, where I'll find water and a microwave and maybe some other nightowl, I could use the conversation to take my mind off this shit. A few doors down, I come to a stop.

“Suzuki”, the nameplate reads. The girl inside is probably sleeping, maybe I should wake her up. Misery loves company, after all.

I can't help it. Ever since Suzu got back, she's been a wreck. Missing a month of school would be bad enough, after her return she's been completely out of it. When she does come to class she falls asleep even more often than before, and even when she's awake she looks so damn lost, I just can't stand it. I'm the last person who should be taking care of anyone else, but I can't sit back and watch her like this. If a mother can lift up a car to save her kid underneath, then maybe even someone like me can help a girl like her.




-Haah- I make my way up the stairs, does she have any -haah- idea how late it is? Far too damn late to be running around. Lucky for me, Suzu stumbles at the top of the staircase and takes a dive, I'm able to catch up with her. For a scrawny little thing--skin and bones now compared to when I first met her, we should fix that--she's pretty fast. Shame she already turned me down when I asked her to join the track team, apparently just gym class is more than enough running for her. Well it's certainly payed off, except not anymore. I'm finally standing next to her. I take a couple seconds to catch my breath before speaking.

“Suzu, wake up.” She looks around, her eyes still far away and unfocused. She's sucking in ragged breaths, and I can make out her trembling in the low light.

“C'mon, you're having a nightmare.” Still no response. “Look, you just--” I reach out to pull her to her feet, but Suzu explodes.

“No, no no!” She screams, flinching at my touch and throwing herself backwards against the wall. She scrambles up, looking around desperately. What the hell is she seeing?

“Suzu, please, it's just a bad dream.” I take a careful step towards her, and she turns that unseeing gaze on me. Tears are flowing readily from her empty eyes, her body is coiled like a spring.

I take another step, and Suzu tilts her head a bit and smiles. It's a painful, agonized smile, the kind you make when saying goodbye at a funeral. It's the smile of someone whose only other option is to shatter into a thousand pieces. That smile breaks my goddamn heart.

“I'm sorry.” She says, taking a step backwards.

“Suzu, damn it, just wake up!” I reach out with my one hand, but she backs away further, sliding along the wall for a few feet before moving into the center of the hallway.

“I'm right behind you” She says simply, to someone I can't see. “I'm coming there, hold on.”

She takes off again. Where the hell does she think she's going? We're on the top floor. When I catch her this time I'm going to shake her so hard she'll have no option but to--

Oh shit. The window at the far end of the hall, some idiot left it open. Suzu is headed straight for it.

Shit shit shit shit.




I decide to knock after all, if she's awake I might stand a chance at getting that math homework done with her help. But before I can rap my knuckles on the door, there's a loud crash from inside, followed by a yelp.

Well that's weird. “Suzu?” I call gently.

Something thumps against the other side of the door, I leap backwards in surprise. I have a bad feeling about this, that alarm starts going off somewhere in my head, the one that says something's wrong.

I hear a few more crashing noises, then the sound of fists beating on the door.

“Suzu, open up!” I yell. Screw being quiet, my friend could be getting murdered in there!

The clicking sound of a lock hastily being undone echoes through the deserted hallway. The door swings open and Suzu bursts forward like a bat out of hell, almost smashing into me in the process. I glance towards her room, but it seems to be empty, apart from the usual battlefield that makes up her floor.

“Hey, what are you doing? Are you okay?” She's definitely acting weird. Her head snaps in my direction, but her eyes are blurry and distant.

“Miki, is that you? I don't--oh.” She stops. “Oh, no.” She begins taking a few steps backwards, in the direction of the staircase at the end of the hallway.

“What's wrong?” Is she sleepwalking? Sleeptalking? Is this another narcolepsy thing?

“Sorry, I--” She shoots a glance towards the stairs, empty eyes wide. “Wait! Wait for me!”

She takes off at a run. What the hell? I let the cup of noodles fall to the floor and chase after her, but she's faster than she looks. As she makes for the staircase, she shoots a few glances back in my direction, eyes wider and more filled with fear each time. She's definitely sleepwalking. Screw that, sleeprunning, I didn't even know that was a thing, leave it to Suzu to pioneer crap like that.

By the time we get to the second floor, I still haven't closed the gap between us.

“Wait, please!” Suzu cries, panting between words.

“Goddammit, take your own advice!” I call after her. She looks back in my direction and shrieks in terror, her pace doubling. Is she chasing something, or being chased? Or both?

Well that's it, the entire floor, maybe the entire girls' dormitory is awake now. This is just great.




“Suzu, if you even think about going through that window I will--” But she's not listening, of course. I've almost caught up to her by now, she's faster than I expected but I'm the fastest there is at Yamaku. Well, almost. Who cares about that right now though, this little idiot, one of the only girls in the whole school I actually get along with, is having some stupid night terror or something and might be about to get herself killed.

My lungs are screaming at me, my heartbeat is heavy and raw in my chest, running track is completely different from racing up stairs. She must be feeling it too, I'm so close to her now, but I'm out of time, she's reached the window and--
Suzu hits the open window, hoists one leg up onto the sill, and turns her head around.

“I win.” She says, her eyes shining oddly in the low light, face still a mess of tears. She jumps.

“Fuck that.” I snarl. Time slows to a crawl. I reach through the open window with my only hand, snatching her arm. Suzu's momentum almost pulls me out the window with her, she swings back towards the outside wall of the girls' dormitory and slams into it with a loud thud.

I hope that hurt. It certainly seems like it, Suzu is blinking and looking around in shock.

“Where am I?” She mumbles in complete confusion.

“You just tried to kill yourself, you freaking idiot!” Even as skinny as she is these days, I'm struggling to hold onto her, my body pressed painfully into the windowsill. Suzu looks up at me, eyes wide.

“Miki? What's going on? Why am I--” She finally seems to realize where she is, and squeals in terror.

“Don't let go!” She pleads, her eyes darting from my face to the long, long way down. A chill night breeze hits us, billowing her hair back and forth.

“It's not on my to-do list!” I reply through grit teeth, the muscles in my arm beginning to ache in protest. I try to pull her up, but I can't manage it with just one arm. Damn it, god damn it, if I only had two hands!

“Miki, please, don't let go!”

“I'm not going to, shut up!” I can hear doors opening in the hallway behind me, confused and sleepy voices, other students asking what's going on.

“Someone get over here and help me god damnit!” I yell over my shoulder, but I feel my grip on Suzu's arm beginning to slip.

“Ah, shit...” My hold on her weakens, and she begins to fall. Suzu seems too scared to even scream as she begins slipping downward towards the dark ground, many floors below. With a mix of despair and hatred towards my weak body, I know that I can't hold on any longer. My hand slips.

Suzu falls for only half an instant, her arms flailing wildly, before I shoot forward with the only thing I have left--the bandaged stump that is my other hand. She latches onto it like a lifeboat, clutching my wrist with all her strength. Pain shoots through my left arm, holy shit, I wasn't expecting that, I guess it isn't as far along as I thought it was. I bite down on my lip to distract myself from the sudden agony. I taste blood. I don't care. I don't care.

Even then, there's nothing for her to really grip onto, even with both hands. She begins to slowly slip downward again. Our eyes meet.

“Miki, I--” She's shaking like a leaf now. For fuck's sake.

“Shut up, Suzu. Just shut up, I'm not losing you, you idiot.” And I'm not lying. I feel hands on my shoulders, someone grabs my waist, they begin pulling me backwards. Slowly, the other girls of the top floor help me hoist Suzu back through the window. When we finally get her through the windowsill, she flings herself against me, and we land in a crumpled heap on the floor.

No one says anything for a few moments, everyone present is still in shock at what almost just happened, maybe. Suzu buries her head in my chest, her whole body trembling.



Once everyone has recovered a bit and explanations are given to the other residents and the staff (night terrors, hallucinations, some other narcolepsy stuff, all made worse by recent events, everyone was pretty damn understanding), I'm given the task of getting Suzu back to her room. I'm completely exhausted physically and mentally, still shaking a little from the adrenalin. Suzu has, like she usually does, passed out again, but at least this time she's sleeping peacefully. As the crowds begin to disperse and I assure the night nurses and guards that we'll be okay, I scoop her up in my arms and carry her towards the elevator. I never want to see another frigging staircase again. Or a window. Man, screw that.

We pass the ride back to the first floor in silence, Suzu's thin body pressed against me. Her chest slowly rises up and down, her breathing soft and regular. When she's like this it's not so bad at all. In fact, it's kind of peaceful. I just hope tonight doesn't become a regular thing.

Feeling like I could drop dead myself any second, I finally make it back to Suzu's room. Stepping through the door, I wade through the mounds of crap scattered around her floor to reach her bed, and gently deposit her into it. I glance around, most of it's the usual junk littering her carpet, but there seems to be a lot more cans than usual. Coffee, energy drinks, there's even an empty bottle of some kind of awakeness pills on her nightstand. Shit, maybe this has been happening a lot. Ever since she got back? Has she been trying this hard to stay awake at night, just so she wouldn't keep having nightmares like this?

God damn. I resolve to make her tell me all about it in the morning, after all the shit I had to go through tonight I've earned the right to know what's going on with her at least. I get up to leave, but Suzu moans in her sleep. Her hand reaches out as if searching for something. I reach out with my right hand and she takes it in hers, squeezing it tightly. I guess I'm stuck now.

Oh well, her bed is big enough for two, and I'm so damn tired. I push Suzu over a bit, slide into the bed next to her, and then pull the blankets over us. It's so late at night that it's technically early in the morning, but maybe if I'm here she won't be going for another moonlight run. Some part of me just can't walk away and leave her like this, not after seeing her shivering like that, hearing her cry out in terror, not after almost losing one of my only friends, even if we haven't known eachother that long.

Shit, I've turned into somebody's mother. Whatever.

I shift around a bit, trying to get comfortable. The girl next to me doesn't stir, the only signs of her existence are her quiet, deep breaths and the feeling of her chest rising and falling with them. Eh, maybe I could get used to this. She's pretty cute, even if she sure is a handful at times.

Goddammit, I did it again. Ha ha, handful.

Damn it.




“Time” is a song by Pink Floyd (Pretty Lights remix)
Last edited by Scissorlips on Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Chocolate

Post by Scissorlips » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:49 am

Chocolate
-Suzu and Miki endure White Day



For once, my alarm is music to my ears. I roll out of bed. And then pick myself off the floor. I steal a glance at the calendar pinned to my wall, already covered with reminders for track meets and important practices and maybe even a test or two. A grin spreads across my face as I double check today's date: Wednesday, March 14th. Hell yeah. In fact,

“Hell yeah.” I say it out loud, because I can, because I want to. It's White Day. This is going to be good.



“Wake up! Wake up wake up!” I bang on Suzu's door, and hear her trudging forward a few seconds later. The door swings open, and a bleary eyed little narcoleptic girl stares back at me.

“Are the dorms on fire?” She moans, obviously still half asleep. On a normal day I wouldn't be much better off, but it's not a normal day, it's freaking White Day.

“No, but maybe you are.” I say with a completely straight face. She stares at me for a few seconds before slowly glancing down at the gigantic t-shirt covering most of her body. After deciding that she actually isn't on fire at the moment, she looks back up at me with the sleepiest look of disapproval I've ever seen.

“Don't joke around like that, Miki. Spont... spontan.... spontaneous combustion is a real thing.” She struggles with the word despite it probably being the only thing she learned from science class yesterday. It's far too early in the morning for big words like that, I agree.

“You would worry about things like that. But come on, get up, go take a shower.” Suzu weakly protests as I wade into the piles of random things strewn throughout her floor--she thinks she's sneaky by just looking like a lazy, messy high school student, but I know she really does it so she can feel better about passing out anywhere in her room. I snatch up her uniform, toothbrush, and any of her other morning necessities, it's kind of a pain in the ass with only one hand but I manage to hold it all, and then I shove Suzu into the hallway with my elbows. At this hour, it's like herding sheep towards the bathroom. Are there narcoleptic sheep? Oh well.

I wait outside the bathroom as I hear the shower begin running. She'd better hurry it up in there, no time to pretty up her wool coat because there's a wolf outside and she's hungry for chocolate. Chocolate! Actually, maybe I should cut her a break, today is definitely a time when it's a good idea to look your best.

I hear a thumping noise from inside the bathroom. Damn it.



My pulse begins to pick up as we finally near the room for class 3-3. Only students who commute to school get lockers, so that's one traditional method of delivery ruled out. There's still the classic “chocolate in the desk” method, though. Finally awake (and thankfully not much worse for wear after her nap in the showers), Suzu watches me curiously out of the corner of her eye. Poor Suzu, she was away for White Day last year, so no chocolate for her. Well, I'll be sure to share some of mine with her this year if she doesn't get any. I stride through the door of the classroom, unable to keep the grin off my face.

Inside, the air is filled with tension, even Mutou looks on edge. If I was the superstitious type, I would probably be reeling from the aura of menace that the other girls are giving off. Well, most of them anyway. Hanako Ikezawa is nowhere to be seen, Shiina Mikado is already munching on something happily--although knowing her it could be any damn thing and not just a White Day present--and the two girls in the back corner--Natsume Ooe and Naomi Inoue, I'm pretty sure--are both unwrapping expensive looking gifts and giving eachother approving glances. Ha ha, confirmed for gaylords. I knew it. Not that that's a bad thing, they actually look pretty sweet together like that, too bad Inoue can have such a temper at times. But anyway. The boys look pretty on edge as well. That's too damn bad, they had their fun on Valentine's Day, now it's our turn.

“Morning Haruhiko~” I grin at the first boy in the front row, who smiles back uncomfortably, looking like a worm on a hook. I take my seat and Suzu does the same, immediately slumping forward onto her desk, probably planning to catch as much sleep as she can before class starts. I whip around to face the chair behind me.

“How's it going, Takashi?” But he just yawns and pretends to be engrossed in some last minute homework. Hmph. Forget him then. There's still hope, someone could have hid something in my desk. Oh yeah, my desk!

I quickly turn back around, and then remember that the desks here aren't like my old school, they don't have any spaces built underneath them to store things like books or pens. Or chocolates. Damn it! I run my hand under the bottom just in case there's something taped there out of sight, but no luck.

Well. Well. Someone could still be planning a direct handoff approach--hold on, handoff? Goddamn it.

The closer the bell gets to ringing, the more depressed everyone who hasn't received anything gets. Everyone except Suzu, who's still snoozing peacefully at her desk. I'm tempted to join her, but I still hold on to some tiny hope. Why are there so many girls in this class compared to boys, anyway? Lezard, nah, not a chance. Maybe Akio? Or even Taro or--

The bell's chime is like a boom of thunder, cleaving my world in two. Mutou lurches straight into things and I'm left staring at him, that sinking feeling managing to fill me up inside. Nothing? No chocolates, not even some cookies or candy? What have I done wrong? What have I done to deserve this?

I aim a kick at my best friend's desk. Wake up Suzu, be miserable with me.



All through lunch break is the same, I'm stuck watching other girls receive gifts and eat delicious things and here I am with nothing. Nothing! At this point, I wouldn't even mind if some tiny, blushing first year came up and offered me something. After all, I'm a star on the track team and good looking to boot! I deserve it, right? Right! Right...

But nothing happens. I even make Suzu hang around with me after school for a bit, waiting in case of stragglers, but no such freaking luck. Eventually I give up, and we retreat back to the dorms to crash in my room.

“White Day sucks.” I puff out my cheeks in frustration as I sit, leaning against the side of my bed, barely watching the TV.

“It's--munch--White Day?” Suzu replies hazily from the bed.

“Well yeah! Why do you think everyone was freaking out or being lovey-dovey all day long?”

There's a pause, Suzu is probably shrugging. “You didn't--munch--get anything at all? Not even... never--munch--mind.”

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. “Why do you ask? What do you know? And what are you eating?” I turn around to look at Suzu, who stares back at me innocently, holding something wrapped in fancy paper. It looks like... it looks like...

I go back and forth between my friend's face and the object in her hands in shock. “Someone gave you chocolate!”

She looks at me blankly for a few moments before realization appears to dawn on her. Suzu yelps, staring down at the candy that was already halfway to her mouth, her face growing red. “That's right, it's White Day...” She mumbles.

“Who was it? Where'd you get that?” I quickly plop down on the bed next to her, eying her prize with envy. It's white chocolate too, and look expensive, damn iiiit!

“It was...” Suzu stares off into space for a few moments. Whenever she does this, I can tell the next thing out of her mouth is going to be a lie.

“It was. It was one of the boys in 3-2. He was very handsome. He said he liked my hair!” Suzu nods enthusiastically, growing more confident as she goes. But I just frown back.

“Suzu, you remember that 3-2 is full of blind kids, right?”

“Oh. Y-yeah, I remember that.” She takes a bite out of her chocolate, deflating.

“I saw you getting a package in the mail from your parents yesterday. That was this, wasn't it?”

Suzu pouts for a few moments--something she's not very good at but she's getting better--before responding. “...Yeah.” She takes another bite, looking more and more depressed. God damn. To be 18 and still getting candy on romantic holidays from your parents. I suddenly feel a lot better about my own situation.

I sigh, leaning back against the wall. So neither of us got any chocolate from boys this year. Damn.

“What's wrong with us, Suzu? Give me some, too.” She pouts a little, but obeys. We pass the solid block of white chocolate back and forth like it was a bottle of booze.

“The boys in our class are all such pussies.” I mutter.

“You really didn't get anything?” Suzu asks quietly. She seems like she's holding something back.

“Not a freaking thing. Why?”

Suzu shrugs. “No reason.” She hands me the chocolate and then slumps forward onto the bed, looking like she's about to take another nap. But she's not getting off that easily.

“Tell me.”

“Nah.” She nestles her face into my blankets, looking like an airplane coming in for a landing or something. I need to intervene now or I'm going to lose her. I scoot forward to sit on her and Suzu lets out something halfway between a yelp and a grunt.

“Tell meee.” I bounce up and down on her back once, driving her further into the bed.

“Miki, you're squishing me.” Suzu squirms a little, her face getting a little red even with how tired she looks.

“Suffer. At least you got some chocolate.”

“And I shared! Now get off, I can feel my organs compacting.”

Always assuming the worst, this one. I roll off to lie down next to her. “I mean it though.” I say.

Suzu flops her head down on the bed, looking at me sideways. “I just thought, someone like you, you know... you're...”

Compliment coming up. Probably. Hopefully, after a day like this. Fire away, Snoozu. I still use that nickname for her in my head sometimes, just not to her face since she probably wouldn't like it.

Suzu blinks several times, each one a little slower than the last. “You're popular, and you're prettier than me, and you have, you know...” She's fading fast. The clock on my desk says that it's only 6 PM, but she could be out for anywhere from ten minutes to a few hours.

“You know...” I give the sleepy little sheep a shove.

“You know. You have, like, bigger... I mean, you're more...” Her eyes are only half open now, and I can tell there's not much left behind them. She lifts one hand to point at me vaguely, and then drops it to the bed. Suzu checks out.

I frown at her for a few seconds. She needs to work on her complimenting skills, if she was better she might have gotten some actual chocolate this year. But then again...

Now that she's gone and left me all by myself, I sit up the bed. I guess it's up to me to finish off this chocolate, we don't want it melting and I'm the only one who'd be able to work it off anyway, Suzu and the track just do not mix. I glance back at the sleeping girl next to me.

Popular, huh? Prettier than her? And I have “bigger”. Hmph.

“Gaylord.” I mutter, ruffling her hair with my hand. She being silly, she's plenty pretty. Right about the bigger part, though.

I let out another sigh. Another March, another shitty White Day. Sorry Suzu, I guess we both haven't had much luck this year so far. I take another bite of the chocolate, it's pretty damn good.

“Tell you what.” I stick the chunk of candy in my mouth, using my newly freed hand to brush a stray lock of hair from Suzu's face. “Mmf youf ftill don'f haf anfyone to giff youf chocfolate nexft yfear, I'll giff youf fome myfelf.”

Suzu mutters something in her sleep. It almost sounds like “Deal”.
Last edited by Scissorlips on Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Emulsifier
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (small update 6/12)

Post by Emulsifier » Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:33 pm

On White Day in Japan, it's generally that men who received chocolate on Valentine's Day return the favor with gifts.

Obviously, this makes the whole 2nd story unusable unless you ignore that, so, Artistic License and all that. Aside from that, love both of the stories! And the pictures... I'm sorry, but Death's laughing expression is just too funny on the Doomish ones.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (small update 6/12)

Post by Scissorlips » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:17 pm

Emulsifier wrote:On White Day in Japan, it's generally that men who received chocolate on Valentine's Day return the favor with gifts.

Obviously, this makes the whole 2nd story unusable unless you ignore that, so, Artistic License and all that. Aside from that, love both of the stories! And the pictures... I'm sorry, but Death's laughing expression is just too funny on the Doomish ones.
Good point, I flubbed that one a little. I do like to think that there's more to Miki than meets the eye though, so I can imagine her making a ton of chocolate and just giving it to the whole class because she's secretly too embarrassed to give it to a specific person. That, or I can totally see her as the type of girl who expects chocolate even if she didn't give anyone something on Valentine's Day. And I agree, the sort of Billy and Mandy vibe in Doomish's self described doodles makes them hilarious.
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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (small update 6/12)

Post by demonix » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:31 pm

If memory serves (and I think it does well in this case) the gift given to a girl on white day doesn't have to be chocolate, it just has to be sweet and white.

Also I've seen some scenes in certain anime where girls give other girls chocolates on valentines day, so Miki could still have received something just not from a guy.

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Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (small update 6/12)

Post by # 2 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:06 pm

As to the first: Terrifying. Seriously, edge of the seat stuff there.

As to the second: Hilarious. And Emulsifier is correct, it's generally accepted that to receive, you must first give, though there are exceptions. Also, the 'cook up a big batch of chocolate and give it to friends and coworkers' trick is also used. Hell, I could see Miki as the type to buy a box of Pocky and hand it out a stick at a time, then be vengeful if she receives nothing in return on white day.
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