Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
Post Reply
Bi-Polar Hernandez
Posts: 61
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:52 pm

Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Bi-Polar Hernandez » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:18 pm

Hello, some of you may know me from the Katawa Shoujo Generals on 4chan, you may also know that I've been attempting to write up a Suzu route after being inspired by themocaw's beautifully written Saki pseudo-route. Well, due to multiple reasons (procrastination), progress has been terribly slow and all I've managed to write is (part of) the festival scene. I've received a load of feedback about it on the KSGs and decided to finally throw it up on here, and have it torn to bits.

Anyway, I present to you, The Suzu Route That Never Was (working title).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miki was the one who suggested we sneak out to the park before the fireworks began, she said it was the best spot to watch them from. I didn't bother to object, it was serene compared to the crowd up at Yamaku. I help Miki and Suzu lay out a blanket, which Suzu and I quickly become comfortable on. My gaze wanders up above Yamaku, the fireworks are bound to start any minute now-.

[Hokabi]

“Hey!”

I'm suddenly drawn to the owner of the voice...

Takashi.

Miki and Molly are quick to give him a wave, Suzu sleepily looks in his general direction. Looks like he brought Taro along too. He's quick to make his way over to our spot, dropping the bag he was carrying, which causes it to make a clinking sound.

“So, what did you get?” Miki asks, digging her way through the bag. She suddenly stops, pulling out a small rectangular box, it's too dark to see what it is before Takashi snatches it out of her hand.

“No touching.” he says, before reaching down and pulling out an assortment of things. Food, drinks, a case of beer, more food-.

...Wait, beer?

“Uh, Takashi, you know we're all too young to drink, right?” I hesitantly ask.

“...And?” Suzu's the one to speak up, yawning. I give her a confused look.

“It's only bad if we get caught, right?” she says, pulling out a box similar to the one Takashi grabbed from Miki. I'm able to get a closer look at the labeling. Cigarettes.

Huh, never thought a narcoleptic would be the kind of person to smoke.

She quickly pulls one out and lights it up, and I glance over at Takashi to see him doing the same, even passing it around to everyone else. Taro and Miki accept, but Molly quietly declines.

[Friendship]

Suzu offers me one and I, seeing no other choice, decide to accept. I break into a small fit of coughing on my first hit, but recover and lay back with Suzu to watch the fireworks.

I'm too enthralled watching the fireworks and drifting smoke to notice Suzu slowly snuggle up next to me. I feel her pass me something cold. “Thought you were thirsty,” she whispers in my ear.

I sit up slightly and finish off the cigarette, before opening the can of beer with a satisfying spray of foam.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may have noticed, I've taken a...different approach compared to the original 5 routes.

Feedback is appreciated, etc.

Expect more...whenever. (Procrastination is bad, kids.)

User avatar
Brogurt
Posts: 671
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 7:07 pm
Contact:

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Brogurt » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:21 pm

4:19 PM - Bi-Polar Hernandez: And now I'm going to cower in fear

User avatar
Rikabro
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:27 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Rikabro » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:26 pm

Your Miki is just how I imagine her. Troublemaker with a heart of gold.

These are the kinds of shenanigans that I would have liked to see more of in the game. Can't wait to see the direction you take this.
Writer for Familiarity. I also have an anime blog.

User avatar
Forgetful
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:25 pm

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Forgetful » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:30 pm

Not really what I thought the character would be like but whatever. Just glad to see someone's doing the route. Adding those other characters is a nice touch.

User avatar
WolfStreak
Posts: 43
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:24 pm

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by WolfStreak » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:50 pm

And who is Suzu?
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>

Bi-Polar Hernandez
Posts: 61
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:52 pm

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Bi-Polar Hernandez » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:11 pm

The narcoleptic in front of Shizune in the class CG.

MrDogsniper
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:57 pm

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by MrDogsniper » Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:43 am

Very good...I wish I was a good author :/
Sandvich!

User avatar
Cally
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:27 pm

Re: Bi-Polar Hernandez's Suzu pseudo-route (WIP)

Post by Cally » Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:03 pm

[Words Words Words]

Post Reply