A Familiar Face (Hanako Neutral End Fan Fiction) (U 2/14/13)

[Mirage_GSM]

Lilly has the tendency to say 'Hisao' in almost all of her lines. I can ignore the 'Hisao' when they first bump into each other but the rest is a bit much. When it's one-on-one, the amount of times a person's name is said is near nonexistent. For instance, I see my friend each and every day because we carpool to school, but in this past week, I don't think I said her name more than five times.

Actually that really is much more common in Japan then it is elsewhere. Even friends will commonly use their names instead of "you". Since Lilly has a very formal speech pattern anyway I think writing her dialogue that way is not that much of a problem.

[Exbando]

Lilly has the tendency to say 'Hisao' in almost all of her lines. I can ignore the 'Hisao' when they first bump into each other but the rest is a bit much. When it's one-on-one, the amount of times a person's name is said is near nonexistent. For instance, I see my friend each and every day because we carpool to school, but in this past week, I don't think I said her name more than five times.

Actually that really is much more common in Japan then it is elsewhere. Even friends will commonly use their names instead of "you". Since Lilly has a very formal speech pattern anyway I think writing her dialogue that way is not that much of a problem.

Yeah, that. Totally meant to do that. Yep.

I don't think this makes any sense, I mean she could have guessed his position but still...

I probably could have handled that better.

[OtakuNinja]

When will the next chapter be up?

[Exbando]

I figure I should at least tell you this is still alive, I just have been too busy with school stuff. I've had to write so many essays the past however long it's been that I just hit burn out on writing for a bit. I apologize for not saying anything about it. Classes end next month, I'll try to update as soon as possible.

I also apologize for anyone that saw a new post here and thought it was an update

[ZtotheT]

Boy am I glad this isn't a deadfic.

[emmjay]

“It was just a joke,” I say in my defense. Lilly immediately lightens up.

“So was I, Hisao,” she says while giggling, “I’m glad you remembered something else.” At this, she smiles a little more. When we have both settled down, we get to eating breakfast.

His line and her response don't jibe. I assume you meant something more along the lines of, "I was just joking." "So was I."
Nitpicking aside, I echo the previous poster's relief that this isn't dead. Quite aside from this going from Hanako's neutral end (which not enough fic does, in my opinion), I'm enjoying the mystery of what the heck Hisao was doing three hours away from home at three in the morning, and how whatever it was lead to amnesia. (Wouldn't surprise me if Kenji was involved somehow.)
I also think you've done a good job on the characterization. Lilly and Hanako are quite believable as three-years-older versions of the high-schoolers we know, and Hisao is still as boneheaded as ever. (Say, maybe that's what happened to him. His thick skull reached critical mass, and now no memories can get through.)

[polishpride20]

Is this story dead?

[griffon8]

Is this story dead?

Better to PM the author rather than ask here. It smacks of being a request, which is not allowed.