Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Titus
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Titus » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:43 am

Bahahaha, great story :mrgreen: Been following it for a while now. I do hope for more and that last scene where they spend that diamond minute together was a pleasure to read, I love a touching romance.
What if life had a soundtrack similar to Katawa Shoujo's ?

Guest

Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Guest » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:54 pm

Blimey, and I thought Shizune could be vicious.

To be honest, despite her fun demeanour earlier in the story I'm still thinking Saki's a nasty piece of work after her treatment of Misha, in a public corridor of all places, and what the hell was with the unnecessary bitchiness about Miki? Even after the Kenji thing had me in stitches, I couldn't quite bring myself to fully forgive her for those digs. How people deal with their anger or with people they don't like says a lot more about them, in my opinion, as well as their reasons for it (being on the rag doesn't mean you should act like a bleeding cunt). It said a lot about Shizune, and it said a lot about Lilly, and it sure as hell spoke volumes about Nomiya in Rin's route.

My current theory is that Saki tries her hardest to swallow her bitterness about her condition, but it ends up coming out in full (and very personal) force - her clinginess to Hisao, her jealousy of Miki, her treatment of Misha and Shizune. At the end of the day, she very likely is terrified of dying. Spinocerebellar ataxia's a fucking nasty way to go, trapped in your own body like that, and she's having to deal with that fate at 18 years old not knowing what part of her is going to start to degenerate next, when people like Misha, Miki and Shizune don't have terminal conditions and are running about without (in her mind) a care in the world. I have also found that when suffering a very serious illness, you depersonalize things a lot - and I saw that a lot in the mask-scene, and when Saki was just breezily explaining her condition to a horrified Hisao.

I think you're one of the best fanfic writers on the KS forum so I'm looking forward to what you do with this, especially Act 3 - I want to read more soon!

Despite the theory above, -like Bagheera said, I hope our heroine has to eat some crow before the good ending. I'd be disappointed if the stuff with Misha just went unresolved without at least an apology on her end. Seeing as her "good choices" seem to be Hisao standing up for other people and talking to other characters, I'm feeling pretty optimistic.

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griffon8
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by griffon8 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:07 pm

Guest wrote:I think you're one of the best fanfic writers on the KS forum
QFFT

You write it, I'll read it, themocaw.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

Griffon8's Writing

Guest1

Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Guest1 » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:15 pm

I sure hope this isn't dead.

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advicefrog
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by advicefrog » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:49 pm

It's ok, im sure it's fine...
i hope it's fine
i pray it's fine
OH GOD PLEASE CONTINUE THE STORY
Last edited by advicefrog on Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I don't have a favorite girl, they're all great.
Rika===Saki===Shizune=Lilly=Hanako=Rin=Emi
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Bagheera
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Bagheera » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:06 pm

advicefrog wrote:It's ok, im sure it's fine...
i hope it's fine
i prey it's fine
OH GOD PLEASE CONTINUE THE STORY
That's "pray". And leave him alone, he'll get to it when he gets to it.
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


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Mahorfeus
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Mahorfeus » Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:20 pm

I'd abstain from doing that, lest you want the hammer to be dropped.

Patience is a virtue, y'know?
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

TheMaskedWriter

Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by TheMaskedWriter » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:27 am

Mahorfeus wrote:I'd abstain from doing that, lest you want the hammer to be dropped.

Patience is a virtue, y'know?
Truth.

themocaw
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by themocaw » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:28 am

I'm still working on it, just been sidetracked with other things, guys.

vblm
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by vblm » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:56 am

Pretty easy to see what's going on. It's a real sad thing. Still, the humor is great, too. I'm enjoying this story a lot. Subscribed.

Murex
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Murex » Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:03 pm

I know I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to say that it's awesome that you decided to continue "2400 words." "A Bowl of Noodles" is all I've read so far, but it was great. So yeah, props to you.

themocaw
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How Many Lumps

Post by themocaw » Tue May 01, 2012 2:59 am

It's lunch time, and I have to admit that, despite my best efforts, this is one of the most boring lunches I've ever had.

Saki and the other girls are excitedly chatting about their plans for the fashion club. Words like "fabrics," "patterns," and "gothic lolita," words which I'm vaguely familiar with, but not in the context these girls throw it around, are being tossed back and forth like tennis balls at Wimbledon.

I'm trying my best to stay interested, though. After all, this is something that Saki really cares about. I want to know her better, after all.

"Are you okay, Darling?" Saki asks.

"I'm all right," I admit.

Saki pouts at me cutely. "Darling is bored, isn't he? He's getting bored of poor old me already. . . boo hoo. . ."

Her fake tears make me laugh out loud, and she gives me a kiss on the cheek, causing the other girls at the table to giggle.

I laugh out loud at her antics, feeling a bit better. I don't have much to contribute to this discussion, but I might as well help out in a way that I can. "Any of you girls want something to drink?" I ask.

"Iced black coffee for me, darling," Saki says.

"Could I get a melon juice, please?" Kurosawa asks.

The other two girls put in their orders (strawberry milk and fruit punch, respectively), and pass me their money. I head over to the drinks machine to make my purchases.

"Psst! Hisao!" a low voice whispers.

I glance over in startlement, only to realize that there is someone lurking in the shadows next to the drinks machine. I nearly jump out of my skin in shock.

"What the hell. . ."

"Keep it quiet, Hisao!" Kenji hisses. "Don't look at me. Just keep doing what you were doing!"

Not wanting to argue, I turn back to the drinks machine and start making my purchases. I don't know what's more surprising to me: seeing Kenji hidden so effectively, or the simple fact that he's actually out of his dorm room.

". . . listen, man. Don't worry. I've got a plan. I can't act on it now, but I'll let you know when it happens. I won't let you languish in captivity forever."

". . . what the hell are you talking about?"

"I get it. You don't want to talk about it. That's fine. We don't want their psychic spies to pluck this information out of your brain. But that's okay. I just need you to know, I'm coming up with a plan to extricate you from their grasp. You're gonna be free again, man. It's going to be a great escape. You know, like in that movie with Steve McQueen. That one called The Great Escape."

". . . How can it be a Great Escape when I'm not in prison?"

"You are in prison, man! But the bars of your prison aren't made of steel! They're made of feminine wiles!" Kenji hisses. "Damn. . . has it really gone so far? Have you turned to their side?"

". . . you're not making any sense," I point out, as I make another purchase.

". . . I get it. That's all right, man. Even if you've been brainwashed by them, I'm not gonna give up on you. Watch for the sign, Hisao. Leave no man behind."

And with that, he gets down on his hands and knees and starts crawling out of the cafeteria, drawing more than a few stares from other students in the process.

I sigh and make my last purchase, then gather up the various cans and drink boxes together and carry them back to the table.

Saki and the girls seem to be sketching something out on a drawing pad as I sit down across from them. "What's this?" I ask.

"Oh, it's our plan for Tanabata," Saki explains. She holds up the drawing pad: it's a sketch of a yukata. "Since we're still a young club, we were thinking that maybe we could do a few commissions to get some attention. Since yukatas are fairly easy to make, we were thinking that we could take orders for custom ones."

"Isn't that going to take a lot of time?" I ask, passing her a canned coffee.

"Yeah, that's true. We won't be able to take that many orders, but it's the principle that counts. Getting things started. Getting our name out there. We need to make sure that people know us, you know. And that we have a good reputation."

Saki opens her can of coffee and takes a big sip, only to suddenly make a choking noise, then put the can down. "Ack!" she gasps.

"What is it?"

"Hisao, I asked for black coffee," Saki says sternly. "This is milk coffee! SWEETENED milk coffee!"

". . . oh shoot." Distracted as I was by Kenji, I must have accidentally pressed the button for the canned coffee I usually get. "I'm sorry, I'll get you a new can. . ."

"I'll trade with you, Saki," Kurosawa says. "I like milk coffee. . ."

"Well, there's no point now, I've already started drinking it," Saki points out. "It would be a waste." She picks up the can, sighs, and downs the entire thing in one long chug, putting the empty can back down wordlessly. She sighs and licks her lips a few times, apparently trying to get the cloying taste out of her mouth.

"Like I said, I'm sorry," I repeat. "I didn't know. . ."

"Darling?" Saki says curtly. "Just drop it. It's not a big deal."

A sudden chill comes over the conversation, and the other girls look at each other awkwardly.

Thankfully, it's about then that the lunch bell rings, signalling that it's time to head back to class.

Saki and I head back to the classrooms arm in arm. The other girls move on ahead of us, chatting amiably with each other. As for the two of us, we don't say a word to each other as we head back up the stairs.

Saki lets go of my arm at the second floor, then turns back to me and smiles happily. "I'll see you after school, then, darling?" she asks, giving me another pleasant hug and peck on the cheek.

". . . yeah, sure, of course," I say. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Darling, it was a can of iced coffee," Saki sighs. "It's not a big deal. And besides, next time, you'll remember what kind of coffee I like, right?"

"Of course," I say.

"All right, then. I'll see you after class, then." Saki gives me a pleasant hug and kiss on the cheek, and turns to head back to class.

I guess this must be what it feels like to be in love.

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by Mahorfeus » Tue May 01, 2012 3:33 am

...and patience is rewarded.

It looks like Saki's ugly side reared its head again, albeit briefly. It definitely leaves me anticipating exactly how much Hisao has to see or hear before he finally snaps; at this point, he seems to still be head over heels for her.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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nemz
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by nemz » Tue May 01, 2012 3:54 am

Hopefully it won't be too long. Not sure how many more "Darling!"s I can take.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly

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BeastlyFerret
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Re: Themocaw's Saki Pseudo-Route

Post by BeastlyFerret » Tue May 01, 2012 4:39 am

nemz wrote:Hopefully it won't be too long. Not sure how many more "Darling!"s I can take.
I hope you're kidding! I want the route to drag out as long as it can! I'm loving it right now! Another job well done themocaw, props.
Shizune=Emi=Lilly=Hanako=Rin=Saki=Rika=Misha=Miki Because all girls are equal and deserve equal amounts of love. However, these girls appeal to me the most~

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