"Can You Open Your Heart?" - a Rika pseudo-route

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:35 am

...and if the person's not breathing it doesn't much matter since you'll be doing chest compressions regardless (unless it's a kid, which is slightly different, but that's not applicable here).
Yeah... Well, let's just say I don't quite agree on that. I can see that it's hard for untrained people to find a pulse in stressful situations, but if they try, they at least have a chance to find it. Around here, the rules for First Aid classes were changed to omit the pulse check a few years back, but it's very well possible that they'll be changed back in a few more years.
Doing CPR on a person that still has a pulse can do more harm than good, and if a person just isn't breathing, I definitely wouldn't do chest compressions.
and the fact that Hisao didn't call for help in the beginning (bad Hisao! Bad!).
They were in the middle of the forest, and if this were realistic, Hisao would have performed CPR until he had his own heart attack, before anyone would be able to find them. In fact that's what I expected to happen when I read she had no pulse any more... It's lucky this is fiction, right? ;-)

Edit:
I think we should continue this in private so we don't derail this thread too much ^_^°
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:19 am

Gah, that was fast! Sad to realise though that I've reached the 'end' yet again. Back to waiting mode now, although I expect I'll be waiting a little longer this time. In the mean time; great scenes.I was thinking that Rika was going to talk about the incident with Mr. X, then BAM heart attack. Nice twist you put there. I'm not enough of a troper to know for sure, but I think that's an inversion of something? I dunno. Either way, great work, I look forward to reading more of your story in the time to come!
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Bagheera
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Bagheera » Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:39 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:Yeah... Well, let's just say I don't quite agree on that. I can see that it's hard for untrained people to find a pulse in stressful situations, but if they try, they at least have a chance to find it.
Well, yes, but they have a chance of missing it as well, which is why the ARC dropped the check from their CPR classes (that and the fact it just doesn't matter if the person's not breathing). Things might be different in Japan, of course, which is why I give the story some slack.
Doing CPR on a person that still has a pulse can do more harm than good, and if a person just isn't breathing, I definitely wouldn't do chest compressions.
The only common reason a person wouldn't be breathing is if they're choking, and the approach in that case is chest compressions as well. There are other causes of respiratory arrest, of course, but they're uncommon and don't apply in this situation (heck, I doubt the possibility would even cross Hisao's mind given his and Rika's histories of heart attacks).
They were in the middle of the forest, and if this were realistic, Hisao would have performed CPR until he had his own heart attack, before anyone would be able to find them. In fact that's what I expected to happen when I read she had no pulse any more... It's lucky this is fiction, right? ;-)
He had his cell, though, and it probably still had service (I wouldn't be surprised if Yamaku had its own cell tower just to make sure everyone can call for help from anywhere on the premises). It would be easy enough to call and tell emergency services that they were in the woods near the path and just go from there.
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Titus
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Titus » Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:27 pm

Well done, again !

I can't wait to read what happens next, and I also hope this story doesn't finish so soon :mrgreen: Damn, we really could use some fan art for that woods scene...curse my talent-less cartooning.

Oh and if you run on praise, then: ur rly rly good pls do more
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Rikabro
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Rikabro » Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:10 pm

Thanks for the replies.

I agree with the criticism about the ending so I changed it. Didn't want to affect the substance of what happened, really, but I don't like making people suspend their disbelief any more than is necessary.

The other side of it is that I don't really like the idea of changing the ending after people have already read it. So in substance what happens is the same. They'll just have to have their moment later.

Sorry, guys. Should have done my homework. I'll be more careful in the future.
Last edited by Rikabro on Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Titus
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Titus » Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:47 pm

Ahh...well, if that's how it is.

I wonder now if someone else saves Rika instead. Or really I wonder whatever happens next anyway.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Rikabro » Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:29 pm

You know what? After giving it some thought I changed it back. I don't like the other ending. This ending is unlikely but after poking around on the internet a bit, it seems like what happens is unlikely but not impossible. And it's just a better ending. It really isn't fair for me to change it after people have already read it, either.

I will touch up the details of this a bit, maybe, but I can't rush it. If anything I'll see if I can make the symptoms and her behavior more realistic. But I want it to end the way it does.

Pardon my indiscretion. My amateurishness is showing.
Last edited by Rikabro on Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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CarnivalNights
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by CarnivalNights » Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:39 pm

As long as you tell us the tale that was never meant to be told.
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Bagheera
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Bagheera » Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:01 pm

Rikabro wrote:You know what? After giving it some thought I changed it back. I don't like the other ending. This ending is unlikely but after poking around on the internet a bit, it seems like what happens is unlikely but not impossible. And it's just a better ending. It really isn't fair for me to change it after people have already read it, either.
Well, it's your story so you can do as you like. But I liked the original ending just fine. People don't always do what they're supposed to do, after all, and we don't even know what Hisao knows regarding first aid and such anyway. I wouldn't worry about it.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Mar 14, 2012 5:51 pm

Like I said before: You see more unrealistic stuff in every other episode of Baywatch or Emergency Room, so don't worry. It's fine as it is.
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Titus
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Titus » Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:33 pm

Bagheera wrote:
Rikabro wrote:You know what? After giving it some thought I changed it back. I don't like the other ending. This ending is unlikely but after poking around on the internet a bit, it seems like what happens is unlikely but not impossible. And it's just a better ending. It really isn't fair for me to change it after people have already read it, either.
Well, it's your story so you can do as you like. But I liked the original ending just fine. People don't always do what they're supposed to do, after all, and we don't even know what Hisao knows regarding first aid and such anyway. I wouldn't worry about it.
Yep. I liked the original much better, I like your story as a whole too but I'm just saying I liked that Hisao managed to solve the situation and get themselves close together after a near fatal accident.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Doomish » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:43 pm

Some people just don't believe in Suspension of Disbelief despite the fact that it's proven to work time and time again. I, personally, don't really know the intricacies of heart-based problems and solutions, so I'll accept pretty much anything that doesn't involve magic or wizards. I am really enjoying this story so far, it's good to see someone tackle writing about Rika and do it well. Stay gold, Rikabro.

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Titus
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Titus » Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:18 am

“People told her it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't believe them. She was there. She knew if it wasn't for her, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe later, maybe years later... just not then. But she couldn't figure out what she did wrong. All she wanted was to be an ordinary girl with a normal boyfriend. Do you remember what it was like, the first time you looked at her that way? The first time she looked at you that way…”
Hmm. Insight about Rika and her feelings about her past boyfriend I bet and the overwhelming guilt, and when Hisao answered that he wont read Iwanako's letter...
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Rikabro
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Rikabro » Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:31 am

Titus wrote:
“People told her it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't believe them. She was there. She knew if it wasn't for her, that wouldn't have happened. Maybe later, maybe years later... just not then. But she couldn't figure out what she did wrong. All she wanted was to be an ordinary girl with a normal boyfriend. Do you remember what it was like, the first time you looked at her that way? The first time she looked at you that way…”
Hmm. Insight about Rika and her feelings about her past boyfriend I bet and the overwhelming guilt, and when Hisao answered that he wont read Iwanako's letter...
You've got the right idea. Glad I wasn't being too obtuse.
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Vekter
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Re: Rika Story - updated 3/14/2012 - mild erotica warning

Post by Vekter » Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:41 pm

Keep being awesome, Rikabro.

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