"Can You Open Your Heart?" - a Rika pseudo-route

WORDS WORDS WORDS
Bagheera
Posts: 292
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:53 pm

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Bagheera » Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:48 pm

Damn. I figured you'd go with the "true" end first (i.e. the good end), but I suppose it makes sense to get the bad out of the way so as to end on a good note. Nice job of subverting expectations!
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


Thatswhatbradsaid
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:34 pm

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Thatswhatbradsaid » Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:59 pm

Thank you for the great read! I probably shouldn't be reading cause it's like 1AM over here... But I did it anyway!

User avatar
BobBobberson
Posts: 215
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:25 am
Location: Teufort, Skyrim

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by BobBobberson » Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:20 pm

Ok, that last scene confused the hell out of me. Is Rika dead or not dammit? HIsao's staring at Rika, but he's at an assembly for what appears to be a funeral (or eulogy) of sorts. Unless I missed something? Rika certainly sounds like someone who would stalk off into the woods and randomly die, but it could be any other random student with a heart condition for all I know.

EDIT: OK I geddit, she's dead. Damn, had me reviewing the chapter for a few minutes so I could verify that. Great chapter, mate! Now where's the good ending with the h-scene?

Triscuitable
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:26 pm
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Triscuitable » Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:01 pm

BobBobberson wrote:Ok, that last scene confused the hell out of me. Is Rika dead or not dammit? HIsao's staring at Rika, but he's at an assembly for what appears to be a funeral (or eulogy) of sorts. Unless I missed something? Rika certainly sounds like someone who would stalk off into the woods and randomly die, but it could be any other random student with a heart condition for all I know.

EDIT: OK I geddit, she's dead. Damn, had me reviewing the chapter for a few minutes so I could verify that. Great chapter, mate! Now where's the good ending with the h-scene?
Why do we call it an "h-scene"? It's just two characters having sex, and there's no way to really glorify that. It's not a bad thing, no, but by saying "h-scene", you're trying to avoid saying "sex scene". Basically, I interpret "h-scene" as a bad thing, because it means people treat it like a bad thing.

Oh, and good chapter, Rikabro; you proved me wrong. Really wrong.

User avatar
The O.H.L.
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:36 am
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by The O.H.L. » Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:15 pm

Well, this was a depressing chapter to wake up to.
Guess who's back, back, back, back again.
Not that I ever made any great contributions, but oh well, too bad.

User avatar
BlackWaltzTheThird
Posts: 613
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:38 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:44 pm

I picked the bad end. Sad face. Now it's up to the true end to turn that frown upside down.
The O.H.L. wrote:Well, this was a depressing chapter to wake up to.
Indeed.
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!

BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!

User avatar
BobBobberson
Posts: 215
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:25 am
Location: Teufort, Skyrim

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by BobBobberson » Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:51 pm

Triscuitable wrote:
BobBobberson wrote:Ok, that last scene confused the hell out of me. Is Rika dead or not dammit? HIsao's staring at Rika, but he's at an assembly for what appears to be a funeral (or eulogy) of sorts. Unless I missed something? Rika certainly sounds like someone who would stalk off into the woods and randomly die, but it could be any other random student with a heart condition for all I know.

EDIT: OK I geddit, she's dead. Damn, had me reviewing the chapter for a few minutes so I could verify that. Great chapter, mate! Now where's the good ending with the h-scene?
Why do we call it an "h-scene"? It's just two characters having sex, and there's no way to really glorify that. It's not a bad thing, no, but by saying "h-scene", you're trying to avoid saying "sex scene". Basically, I interpret "h-scene" as a bad thing, because it means people treat it like a bad thing.

Oh, and good chapter, Rikabro; you proved me wrong. Really wrong.
Well I dunno, I kinda thought h-scene and sex scene were interchangeable, although I can see why some people would interpret h-scene as 'bad'. Anyways it's not like I'm going to do anything with the scene, it's just the pattern that KS has followed in all the good routes. Do everything good, get laid (again in certain routes).

User avatar
Titus
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:50 pm

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Titus » Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:09 pm

I knew I chose the good end.

Damn Rika. Times like that makes me wish I were a pitiless robot beyond remorse so I don't have to feel anything close to what Hisao felt in the bad end. I still felt pretty fucking bad, and I didn't even choose that dialogue option.
What if life had a soundtrack similar to Katawa Shoujo's ?

Dickbuttt
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:49 am

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Dickbuttt » Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:00 pm

Rika, you goddamn dumbass, your "true self" is a worthless notion when you're fucking dead. Like you are now, because you wouldn't take your fucking heart pills out of some irrational narcissism. What an idiot. I am upset, bu-hu.

...awaiting good end.

User avatar
Daitengu
Posts: 324
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 7:56 pm

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Daitengu » Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:32 pm

Funny part is, I can imagine the other choice ranging from good to suicide pact.
Last edited by Daitengu on Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Mealforthree
Posts: 80
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:33 am

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Mealforthree » Fri Apr 06, 2012 12:29 am

Now THIS IS podracing. Seriously.

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:55 am

Rika sure is a bitch.
Honestly, I can't imagine the other option leading to a better end. Hisao did a really good job of showing his feelings and made a good effort to take a look at herself and maybe change for the better.
Just sucking it up and continuing to catering to every whim of a narcissist like Rika will also kill Hisao (or both of them) sooner or later.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Titus
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:50 pm

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Titus » Fri Apr 06, 2012 3:57 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:Rika sure is a bitch.
Honestly, I can't imagine the other option leading to a better end. Hisao did a really good job of showing his feelings and made a good effort to take a look at herself and maybe change for the better.
Just sucking it up and continuing to catering to every whim of a narcissist like Rika will also kill Hisao (or both of them) sooner or later.
Ah, I agree.

I think Rikabro has a different idea about how to approach Rika, we'll find out soon enough. If I can use Rin as an example, it's best not to get angry and yell at the love interest when both of you are going through a very stressful time.

While going over it again I found some hypocrisy:
“getting better doesn’t mean you have to stop being yourself.
…but Rika, I’m not going to give up. No matter how hard this game is, and no matter how hard you fight back.
Didn't Rika just get through explaining about people wanting to change her and everything? Hisao says she doesn't need to change then says he's trying to change her? Then of course Hisao mentions Rika's dead ex boyfriend, and (rightfully) criticizes her for stressing Hisao knowing about his condition...
What if life had a soundtrack similar to Katawa Shoujo's ?

User avatar
Rikabro
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:27 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Rikabro » Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:09 am

Titus wrote:Didn't Rika just get through explaining about people wanting to change her and everything? Hisao says she doesn't need to change then says he's trying to change her? Then of course Hisao mentions Rika's dead ex boyfriend, and (rightfully) criticizes her for stressing Hisao knowing about his condition...
(replying at lightning speed)

I meant that by choosing that option, he's sort of showing that he doesn't really get her after all. "I want the happy version of you that I occasionally get a glimpse of" is a nice thing to say but the way he expresses it puts them at odds.

This branch was supposed to convey a Hisao that isn't really sensitive to Rika's actual concerns. Sort of how the other "bad endings" work in KS. Maybe because I wanted to make the choice more ambiguous, I couched it in language that sounded better than it ended up being. I could have also said, "Rika, what's important is your health," or something like that, but that's too obviously the wrong thing to say.

I kind of wanted him to think, "You know what, everyone's putting pressure on me to be a positive influence on Rika and maybe if I use my honeyed words I can do exactly that." But then he has a Master of Romance moment and totally fucks it up by having no idea what to actually say. And his emotions get the better of him because he's tired of how condescending she is.

It's tough to write Hisao being a dummy and not make it seem like bad writing. I'm open to the possibility that it is an error on my part, and I welcome the criticism, but I think it's consistent with Hisao in the context.

Thanks for the response, Titus. Your comments are always thoughtful and I appreciate them.
Writer for Familiarity. I also have an anime blog.

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6059
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Rika Story - updated 4/5/2012

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:35 am

I didn't think Hisao came across as a dummy at all. Quite to the contrary. He tried his best to make Rika see what she is doing to herself (and to himself), and I think she needed to be told that one way or the other. Not telling each other what you think is not a healthy way to lead a relationship.
Rika didn't take well to criticism, but I don't think that was due to any fault of Hisao. She just continued her Emo-moping - got worse in fact.

The other option - the way I read it - is basically: "You just continue putting yourself and myself in jeopardy. I'm behind you all the way until either of us kicks the bucket."
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Post Reply