"Can You Open Your Heart?" - a Rika pseudo-route

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BobBobberson
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by BobBobberson » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:36 pm

Woooooo so mysterious! And those monologues, so long! And why the hell are all the good writers suddenly integrating Takashi and Lelouche and all them into their stories??

This act is a good setup for the setting of the 'climax' (in more ways than one *abnoxious french laughter*) of this arc btw. What's up with the bad blood between Takashi and Rika though?

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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Pro PandaBear » Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:22 am

Another great chapter Rikabro! Can't wait for the next one.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Titus » Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:36 am

A time when the world is like a beautiful girl that you can watch as she sleeps.
He must seriously like to watch girls sleep.

Good post! I enjoyed it. Takashi reminds me a bit of kenji too (just a bit). It's a shame they're gonna get eaten by bears though, cutting the story short.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Dickbut » Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:08 am

Inb4 attacked by a bear during an orgy.

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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Beoran » Thu Apr 26, 2012 5:34 am

Nice, I like this story. I wonder what you're cooking up for the finale.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:32 am

Seems like Lelouch is here to stay - at least in fanfiction - even though he is gone from the VN...
I for one didn't use him because I liked the character (though I do) but because I thought it would be a challenge to write an aphasic character.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:57 am

Glad to hear you're back writing again, Rikabro. It's been a while between drinks, so to speak, and yet the brew remains as smooth as ever. I get the feeling that with the introduction of new characters in the fourth act, that something significant must occur with them; perhaps Takashi and Rika may come to loggerheads or something, who knows. Looking forward to reading scene 3 and beyond in the future.

Oh, and I had to check my dictionary when I read the word 'fictive' near the start; everything told me it was a misnomer, and yet it is in truth a valid word synonymous with fictitious (the word I had anticipated correcting you with). Kudos to you for adding to my ever-expanding vocabulary.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Mahorfeus » Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:25 am

Another excellent chapter; I've been looking forward to it for a while now. Things are certainly unwrapping quite nicely, and the change in setting for what is presumably the final act lends to some interesting possibilities.

I anticipate a man vs. nature thing going on, but I suppose not every outdoor camping trip has to turn into a wrestling match with a bear, though Hisao would get some cool points if he won and the bear would get some if it ate Takashi (sorry climatic).
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by DaGarver » Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:15 pm

Just started reading this yesterday, apparently just in time for a fresh update. After reading the premise behind Rika as a character, I wasn't sure I would like her that much. Despite this, you've characterized her in a very appealing way: Emi's eyes-in-front, day-by-day attitude, Rin's sense of adventure and freedom, hints of Shizune's resolve, and bits of Lilly's hopeless romantic nature. Jesus Christ, man, you've basically taken my favorite traits of each girl and rolled them into one character. Top it off with the "I'm yours." in The Visitor... be still my heart.

This is very well written. The prose flows nicely, the character herself is humorous and enjoyable to read, and you can easily make an emotional connection with her. Keep it up, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this.

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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/25/2012 (mature content)

Post by Rikabro » Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:34 am

Pushing the limits of appropriate word count here. More bang for your buck.

Also, adult content warning in this one. Tread lightly.

Also, author's note: "different" is a 3 syllable word.

Edit: I got rid of some sexy, sexy nouns. Pray I don't alter it further.

Scene 3: Magnum Opus

As we walk back to the campsite I look down at my shadow, still a little short but lengthening enough that it must be later in the afternoon. My hunger is another strong indicator of what time it must be. I had a pretty light breakfast before the trip out here, and that was a long time ago. The sun has already crossed its zenith. At Rika’s suggestion, I left my watch back at home. “Time doesn’t matter in the wilderness,” she said to me. Contrary to her intentions, being without my watch isn’t helping me lose track of time. I keep wondering about it. Maybe because I’m eager for the waning of the daylight hour. Maybe because I’m overly civilized.

On our return, Miki uses the water to prepare a lunch of instant ramen which we enjoy in our seats around the inactive fire pit. Takashi, mostly with his mouth full, rants about his plans to get a lot of nature photography for use in his art projects. I try to mask my increasingly negative predisposition towards him while he talks, since nobody else seems to be paying attention to what he’s saying. Rika silently contemplates her surroundings as she eats, saying nothing, and Lelouch, having already finished his meal, taps a pencil against a notepad with a deeply thoughtful look on his face.

“What are you writing?” Rika asks Lelouch at the first break in Takashi’s monologue.

He starts to say something in reply, sighs, and scribbles a word down on his notepad. After staring at what he’s just written for a second, he speaks.

“Haiku.”

“May I see?” she asks. He nods and hands her the notepad, and she scrutinizes it with a furrowed brow.

“Lou writes haiku to help with his language skills,” Takashi pipes in.

Lelouch shakes his head at Takashi. “No,” he says. “I always have.”

“You’re in the literature club, right?” I ask him.

He smiles at me and nods. “I love to,” he says.

“You love to what, Lou?” Takashi says in a pedantic tone.

“Read,” he replies after a pause. Takashi smiles condescendingly.

“We’re here on a mission of inspiration,” Takashi says to me. “Any artist can only take his craft so far in the confines of society. Here in the wilderness we can truly come to grips with human nature, really grapple what it means to be in the world, to exist. You know, stuff like that.”

“You sound just like Nomiya,” Miki says.

Takashi scoffs at her. “Don’t be a philistine, Miki.”

Rika makes eye contact with me and I grin at her. I’m not sure what Miki likes about these guys, or how she came to be friends with them. It might have something to do with the fact that she’s still so new at the school. Maybe they adopted her into their social circle the way Shiina and Shizune pounced on me during my first week of classes. She doesn’t seem to have a lot in common with them, but the way she banters with Takashi I can tell she’s having a good time.

And really, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t having fun as well. Being outside of the school context and spending the weekend out here, even with a handful of people I hardly know, is really calming. I haven’t just casually hung out with people like this since before my first heart attack. Even Rika, notwithstanding the fact that she’s hardly said a word since we arrived, seems to be enjoying herself in her own way.

After our late lunch, the five of us decide to hit one of the hiking trails that leads deeper into the vast beech forest surrounding the campsite. The canopy of the trees practically blocks out the sky as we follow the path deeper into the thicket. Shrubs and low tree branches encroach on the footpath in a way that makes it seem like we’re the first people to pass through here in a long time. I really wish I’d invested in some hiking shoes before coming out here. Stepping on stones and twigs is already starting to hurt the soles of my feet through my running shoes. Hopefully I don’t need to replace these later.

Rika and I hang back a few paces from the rest of the crew. With dusk approaching, most of us took the precaution of adding an extra layer of clothing. Rika on the other hand has changed into something lighter: a pair of khaki shorts and a loose-fitting t-shirt. Every so often I glance at her and notice her eyes scanning the treetops.

Takashi stops us after a few paces and points excitedly into the trees, hushing us loudly.

“I don’t see anything,” I whisper to Rika.

She puts a hand on my shoulder and points with the other to a spot just ahead of us, where a pair of macaque monkeys are walking single-file across a tree branch. I gasp at the sight, and she seems amused by this.

“You don’t get out much, do you, Hisao? Surely you’ve seen monkeys before.”

“Only in textbooks and on TV. Damn. I should have brought a camera.”

“Maybe Takashi will make you some copies of his pictures.” Her voice lowers.

I shrug at her. “I wasn’t expecting there to be so much wildlife.”

“Don’t worry,” she says, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “If I see a squirrel, I’ll warn you.”

As we walk further down the trail, Takashi is positively animated at the sights around him. It’s hard to harbor negative feelings towards the guy when he’s having so much fun. Miki and Lelouch seem to be picking up a lot of his positive vibes, and from the pace we keep I give him the occasional wave when I notice something that he might like to come take a look at. For the most part Rika and I spend our time passively immersed in our surroundings, her clutching my hand, us guiding each other’s attention to points of interest. The further we roam from the campsite and the darker it becomes, the more fully I turn myself over to the activity. I would have never thought sightseeing would be so enthralling. The sublime view of the enormous beech trees with their looming tangle of bright green leaves, the sounds of wildlife stirring all around us, the odd glimpse of the beautifully clear sky as it reddens with the approach of nightfall.

And interspersed with that, the look of Rika’s face, the joy of abandon, the genuineness of her smile, the complete lack of cynicism in her demeanor. It cheers me to see her so at ease for a change, and it honours me that she is so willing to let her guard down around me. We really have come a long way these past few weeks. It seems like not long ago the two of us were still measuring our words around one another. Now we have inside jokes, shared experiences, and a mutual understanding on so many levels. As I gaze at her cheek while she looks away from me, scanning the treetops for signs of life, I think about how beautiful she looks in the moonlight. Imagining the luster of her bright skin, how it glows almost with its own light, fills me with desire.

I hear a sound of running water as we approach what seems like a clearing, but turns out to be a shallow brook running over a bed of large, grey rocks. We stop at the brook and start to walk alongside it. The path seems to have come to an end but the five of us are hardly done exploring.

Takashi stops walking and gives us another loud hushing noise, even though none of us have spoken a word for quite a while. He points across the water and Rika grabs my arm.

“He can’t be serious,” she says. I look in his direction and squint to try and see what she’s talking about, and she runs ahead of me. I follow her at a walking pace, still peering into the darkness as best I can to see what everyone’s looking at.

Takashi is taking a few steps across the brook onto a few of the taller rocks in the water. I quicken my pace as I approach. Just a few meters ahead, and close to where Takashi is standing with his camera raised at eye level, I can now see two large black bears that are sniffing at a rotting log across the brook. Miki and Lelouch stand at a cautious distance from Takashi, neither of them saying anything but both looking apprehensive. Rika, undeterred as usual, hops onto one of the rocks near Takashi. I jog over to the brook beside them.

“Hisao,” Takashi says in a noisy whispering voice. “Check it out! Those are the same bears we saw on the bus.”

“They can’t be,” I say in my regular voice, and he makes his loud hushing noise again so I speak once more, imitating his loud whisper.

“They can’t be. Unless they took the bus out here.”

He turns around so I can see him grinning. “Nope, it’s them. The big one has a red spot on the white fur on his chest, like he’s been hurt or something. It’s the same one, I’m sure of it. Watch, see if he stands up again.”

We stare for a few moments, but the bears are both intent on sniffing and licking the rotting log by the water.

“Here,” Takashi says, and picks up a large stone next to his feet. Rika lurches forward to try and stop him, but before she can reach him he throws it in their direction, striking the big log and causing both of them to look at us.

“Do you have a death wish, Takashi?” Rika hisses. I can’t tell if she’s warning him about the bears or about her.

“Really, man,” I say, “don’t do stuff like that. You’re going to get us killed.”

He waves his hand at us. “No, man, they’re not going to come after me. I have the higher ground so I look bigger. Don’t you know anything about bears?” Before either myself or Rika know what’s happening, he lobs another stone in the direction of the bears, and one of them shakes its head rapidly as he strikes it on the nose.

“Stop it, Takashi,” Miki yells out from behind us. “Come on, let’s go back.”

The larger bear turns towards us and starts to approach. Takashi raises his camera in anticipation, crouching a little to steady himself on his perch. “Here we go,” he says. “It’s going to stand up. Hisao, get a good look.”

As the beast approaches us, I feel my pulse accelerating in my temples. Beads of sweat form on my brow and I take long, calming breaths to try to control my heart rate. I look at Rika, who is staring at the enormous animals, her face no whiter than usual, eyes glowing with determination. Suddenly, she hops over to Takashi, grabs his camera away from him, and jumps down into the water, walking rapidly over in the direction of the bears.

“You stupid bitch,” Takashi says reflexively as he regains his balance. I look over at Rika, where she’s now seemingly standing on the surface of the water in the shallow brook. In her right hand she’s holding a large tree branch that she must have just found in the water. In her left hand, Takashi’s camera.

With deliberation and great agility she steps from stone to stone, approaching the rotting log where the two bears are beholding her with caution. She spreads her arms out at her sides to retain her balance, and as she does so I’m reminded of that first night I saw her walking on the ledge of the Yamaku rooftop.

My heart feels like it’s doing backflips as I hear a low grunt coming from the larger of the two bears. She waves the large tree branch over her head, looking not at it, but at the image on the camera that she’s holding in her other hand. It rears back on its hind legs, exposing its broad white chest-mark. Rika’s about three meters away from it. As if conducting an orchestra, or giving it a signal to wait, she holds the tree branch still over her head and stares the bear in the eyes.

A bright flash flickers through the air. Then I hear a loud, booming roar.

I stand perfectly still. Not that I could move if I wanted to. I glance over at Miki and Lelouch who are petrified, Miki’s mouth gaping open, Lelouch’s lips chattering mutely in perpetual inexpression. Takashi crouches on his rock, looking more offended than frightened.

Again, the bear roars at Rika. She holds her ground. Then, with a flourish, she waves the huge tree branch over her head and takes a few steps forward, closing the gap between herself and the bear. I can practically see the fire of her eyes reflected in its own. I don’t know whether to be more afraid for Rika or for the bear.

She takes a few more steps and waves the tree branch more violently in the air. After a loud grunt, the bear falls back to its feet and relents, walking back into the woods. Its partner follows in kind.

Spinning on her heel and looking nonplussed, she throws the tree branch into the water, throws the camera at Takashi, who fumbles to catch it, and wordlessly walks past all of us into the forest, vanishing from sight.

Takashi scoffs loudly and scrutinizes his camera for damage. I look over in Miki’s direction, and instead see Lelouch looking back at me as he hugs her and strokes the back of her head. Her back is heaving as she sobs uncontrollably on his shoulder.

I clutch my chest with my hand, gritting my teeth. My heart pumps relentlessly, and I struggle to slow my breathing and gather my strength. Lelouch regards me wordlessly but nods with understanding.

I have to go find her.





Scene 4: The One That Hides

Tripping over shrubs and rocks, I stumble frantically through the woods, off any pathway, far from any signs of civilization. After hours of walking into the woods we must have gotten pretty far from the campgrounds. I struggle to find any path. I wave my flashlight around in front of me, looking for any sign that she might have been here. Broken twigs. Footprints. Anything.

But there’s nothing. I can’t find her. And I don’t know where I am.

I quickly pull my cellular phone out of my backpack to see if I might be able to pick up any service out here.

No luck.

Sounds rustle in the trees all around me as I push through the dense thicket. My feet are killing me. I’m exhausted. And the urgency is pushing my heart rate to its border.

I stop to catch my breath, and a faint noise in the distance gets my attention. Running water. But louder than the sound of the brook where we saw the bears. It’s not possible that I’ve been running in circles, is it?

The sound gets closer as I walk on. If there is a stream nearby, I should at least find myself in a clearing where I can have a better look around and determine where I’m located. How long have I been running? It feels like it may have been an hour by now, but it’s hard to tell without the sun in the sky. It’s much darker now than it was when I first undertook my pursuit.

I continue my trek, more slowly and listening as best I can to locate the sound of water. It grows louder and louder, to the point where I’m certain it can’t be the same brook I saw before.

Finally, almost before I realize what’s happening, the oval of light emanating from my flashlight stretches out over a fast stream of water. Large, round, mossy rocks climb up the hillside as water pours and careens over them, crashing into itself and steadying out into a deep, wide stream. A few fallen logs bridge some of the gaps between the rocks, almost like a pathway deliberately laid out for someone who enjoyed playing at tightrope walking.

No sooner can I predict her presence than my light catches a pair of bare legs dangling off one of these logs and over the rolling water.

For reasons I don’t presently understand, I click off my flashlight, and I’m instantly confirmed in my suspicion that it’s no longer needed.

Moonlight floods the clearing. The stream sparkles with a million reflected stars from the clear night sky. The moon hangs full in the air, enormous, and it startles me to think how I might not have noticed it with my flashlight shining in front of me. My eyes adjust and the redness of Rika’s irises fixes me in my place. She’s close enough that I can see her expression clearly. Solemn, tired, frightened.

I scramble up a few large rocks leading up to the broad, fallen beech trunk that straddles the tiny waterfall below. It doesn’t require much daring on my part to do so. The trunk is so firmly planted in its spot that it may have been here for decades for all I know.

Rika averts her gaze from me as I approach her, and I take a seat by her side, staring down at the water wordlessly. Our trembling, shaky reflections look back up at us and she’s forced to meet my gaze through the water. We’re barely recognizable in the quivering stream, and yet with no effort at all, our eyes find each other.

She starts to smile at me, and I at her. Then, she starts to laugh. I can hear pain in her voice as she speaks.

“I can’t hide from you anywhere,” she says. “Anywhere there’s a mirror, there you are.”

“Naturally,” I say. “I’m like one of those bogeymen that children tell ghost stories about. Haven’t you noticed?”

She shakes her head. “No, you’re finer than that, Nakai. You’re not a cheap monster. You’re one of the classics. Much more frightening.”

“I think you’re just easily frightened,” I say to her. She smiles more. Not that I can see it in her heavily distorted reflection. I can just tell.

After a few moments of silence, she takes my hand in hers and I hear her begin to cry. I turn to face her directly and see a few tears running down her cheeks, her eyes clenched, new drops forming in the corners. I never get used to seeing this side of her.

“It’s funny, you know,” she whispers. “You don’t mean it but you’re right. I really am a coward.”

“A coward who just won a staring contest with a black bear?”

“No. Worse than that. A coward who hides in a lie.”

My skin goes hot as she looks at me with worry in her eyes. I take a few deep breaths, not sure what to expect next. Her voice quavers and cracks as she speaks again.

“I just don’t want you to go away, Hisao. Having you with me has made me happier than I have been in a long time. You don’t know.”

I clutch her hand between both of mine and look into her eyes. She beholds me submissively, seized by my gaze. An unusual role reversal by our standards. I pause a moment to ingest her sheer beauty in the moonlight, somehow enhanced by the intense emotion that’s overcome her. So foreign to her features, but somehow so authentic, so suitable. I feel a lump in my throat, my heart is thudding horribly in my chest, my face must be completely pale.

“Rika, you can’t tell me something that will make me go away. I made you a promise. I mean that.”

She looks back down at the water and I seek her gaze in our reflections again. I think I can even see a few glittering tears as they fall into the water from her face, but in the darkness it’s hard to be sure.

“Takashi,” she says after a pause, “used to have a friend in common with me. An artist, too. His name was Shin.”

Shin. The name crowds the empty spaces of my mind. I suppress my reaction, feigning ignorance as best I can.

Rika pulls one leg up and clutches it against her chest, staring into the distance as she talks. She goes on.

“Shin was the first person that I ever dated. We were together for a few months, but things moved fast. You see, we had something in common. Something important.”

“What was it?”

She furrows her brow thoughtfully. Her tears subside somewhat. Talking about this seems to be bringing her comfort. After a shuddering breath, she continues.

“Shin was a junior when I came to Yamaku. He suffered from a rare birth defect called hypoplastic right heart syndrome. He’d undergone a series of surgeries as a child and was mostly normal, but he still had… arrhythmias.”

She studies my face before continuing. I look at her with concern. Not sure how to feign surprise, or whether I should bother.

“He died,” she says. “He died almost a year ago. While the two of us were together. And Takashi… and a lot of people…” Her strength falters and she trails off, the tears coming to her eyes once again.

I reach her face and turn her head by the chin so that she’s facing me. She looks at me with worry.

I don’t know what to say. I try to think of something, but I can’t. I can’t think of anything but her beauty, her exposure, the total reality of her presence.

Almost unwillingly, I put my hand behind her neck and pull her towards me, kissing her on the lips. She nearly goes limp as I embrace her, wrapping my arm around her waist and squeezing her tightly against my body. She exhales through her nose with a light whimper, her tears still wet on my cheek, and I feel her arms wrapping around my body as well.

My body tingles with renewed vigor as she clutches me in her arms. What this could mean to her, I don’t know. I have no means of conveyance for the message I want to give her. I want her to know that it’s alright. I want her to know that nothing is changing between us. But words are of no help to me right now.

Maybe there are parts of our brain that are stronger when we’re at a loss for words. Maybe our passion can bridge the gaps in our capacity for communication.

The blood coursing through me causes me to sweat, to tremble, but I suspend my concern for my well-being. I don’t think this is the feeling that I need to fear. I think it’s that other thing again.

Rika pulls back from me briefly, gazing into my eyes with her own, which are half-closed, her mouth hanging mutely open. She looks as though she’s about to say something, so I kiss her again, refusing her the luxury. She graciously complies, her enthusiasm building. We flee the subject matter of the deceased, the pain of history, the unpleasantness of revelation. Passion overwhelms us.

In the night, in total solitude, with Rika, I have at my fingertips just what I’ve been longing for. The answer to my desires.

Almost as if obeying my own subconscious command, she stands up, pulling me to my feet, and the two of us undress completely, placing our clothes carefully in a deep groove of the enormous beech trunk where we stand. I gather the vision of her nude form with a long, shameless gaze, and she beholds me with the same wonder. I can’t possibly be so luminous as she is in the moonlight. The night air chills my skin, but I can practically feel the warmth flowing out of her, even standing as we are at an arm’s length.

Her slender, but shapely legs. The flare of her relatively narrow thighs that tapers at the top forming a triangular gap between her legs. A patch of trimmed, silver hair below her pubic mound. This sight in particular makes me blush, and I’m surprised there’s enough blood left in my body to fill my cheeks.

Her hips, so much more shapely in her state of undress, the sight of which makes me want to reach out and place my hands on her delicate, narrow waist. Her belly button, and her firm stomach that tells the story of her life as a gymnast. It quivers as she takes nervous breaths.

Her slender arms, one hand holding the forearm of the other as she fidgets only slightly, more from a habitual discomfort than with modesty. Whether she intends it or not, the effect is to pull her breasts together in a way that accentuates their size and shape, soft but round and shapely, their pink tips adding a rare touch of colour to her otherwise pallid complexion.

Her narrow shoulders, perhaps her most feminine feature, where I’ve so often placed my hands in times of comfort. Her broad, delicate collar bone, her smooth white neck.

Her lips. Her eyes, staring at me passionately. We meet each other’s gaze, at the end of my journey, and I wonder where her thoughts have been running meanwhile. Once more we find ourselves staring into reflections that aren’t ours. My desire is overwhelming.

She reaches up and with a swift motion, unfastens her hair. The gesture takes me by surprise, and this causes her to smile as her silver hair falls freely upon her shoulders.

Unable any longer to restrain myself, I put my hands on her waist and pull her against me, kissing her with an insatiable lust. She reaches up and puts her hands around my neck, and I feel the spiny tips of her fingernails combing through the hair on the back of my head chaotically as her body tenses up with passion. My hands explore her back, the ridge of her spine, her nimble thighs, the soft convex of her backside. Our kisses deepen as she alternates between moans and muffled laughter.

Just as I grow a little more daring with the movements of my hands, she breaks our kiss and stares at me intensely, a wicked grin forming on her lips. Her eyebrows go up and she decides to break the silence with words. Her voice is charged with passion and the sound of it has an almost tangible effect on me.

“In the ape valley, creatures from different worlds push words together.”

My bemused expression pleases her, and she turns herself around, pushing her back up against me. I place my hands in front of her, and she takes them in hers, running them down her thighs, and up again, toying with me like a puppet. Her hands tremble as she clutches me firmly with her fingers, and even though she is subjecting me to her will, she seems to know exactly where I want my hands to go.

Her knees bend slightly as my hands are brought between her thighs, and a faint familiarity overcomes me as the heat and wetness of her nethermost region meets the tips of my fingers.

She emits a sharp gasp, almost as though she were surprised by what she’s causing me to do.

I reach, defying her grasp, and she tightens her fingers around me. But I overpower her.

I bring my left hand up to her chest, clutching her left breast in my fingers. She hums in approval. I kiss her neck, and she releases my right hand from hers, instead putting it behind my head and running her fingers once again through my hair as her head swivels ecstatically. I place my newly liberated right hand once more between her legs, and her mouth hangs open, gasping and moaning without restraint as I caress her with my fingertips.

“Do you want me, Nakai?” she says in a low voice.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.”

She giggles through closed lips, and pulls away from me, beckoning with a finger. Before I can once more delight in the vision of her nakedness, she bounds down the large rocks at the side of the stream and lays down in a patch of grass by the woods. I follow her gracelessly, almost losing my footing, but with enough speed to close the distance between us.

The daring recklessness that characterizes her is met with a bit of my own. Interlocking my fingers with hers, I pin her down, gazing into her once powerful eyes, having now myself become the one that is in control. She defiantly lifts her hips and clutches me from behind with her powerful legs. I’m awestruck that so much force could be in the body of one with such a light build as hers.

With uncanny precision, she draws me into her, her gaze intensifying and delighting in the surprise that’s no doubt overcome my expression. Whether driven by some inner impulse or entirely manipulated by Rika’s agility, I alternately push and withdraw myself with increasing intensity, my pulse soaring, my whole body trembling. I struggle to fend off my release, but it’s futile. Rika’s own moans shorten gradually, rise in pitch, and I can no longer contain myself when I feel her heels on the small of my back pulling me tightly against her. Her eyes clench shut and she lets out a last, shuddering gasp, before her body goes limp.

I feel like a servant finally released from bondage.

No. Nothing so bad as that. But like one from whom an enchantment has been lifted.

Something supernatural. Or maybe, something perfectly natural, but alien.

I roll onto my back and stare up at the sky, struggling to catch my breath. Rika’s hand grabs mine and gives it a squeeze. I look at her and she gives me a weak smile, as one exhausted and in search of rest.

“What do you think would happen if we slept out here?” she asks me.

I enjoy the thought for a second before the answer hits me.

“Miki is probably waiting for us back at the campsite. I’m sure she’s worried.”

“I’m sure she’s drunk,” Rika says with a light chuckle. The lightness in her voice puts my soul at ease. I can’t blame Rika for wanting to stay where we are. I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever felt so at peace with the world. She’s demanding I give her a good reason that we shouldn’t just stay here forever, and it’s a perfectly reasonable demand. And not one that’s going to be easy to satisfy.

“Drunk from worry, though,” I say. “Miki is our friend. We should head back soon.”

“Soon,” Rika says drowsily. “But just a little longer, okay?”

I nod at her. We look up at the stars which almost look like they’re spinning above us. I can’t figure out why. Maybe I’m dizzy? Maybe I’m coming dangerously close to my second heart attack? Maybe I’ve never been more aware of the fact that the ground beneath me is spinning?

The cold grass on my skin makes me shiver. And something else comes to mind.

“Rika?”

She rolls over to face me, resting her head on my shoulder. Damn. She’s so beautiful.

“Yes?”

“What was it you said to me before we came down here?”

She beams at me.

“It was a haiku by an aphasic poet. I think it's pretty good. Don’t you?”



Go to Scene 5...
Last edited by Rikabro on Wed May 02, 2012 12:27 am, edited 5 times in total.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/28/2012 (mature content)

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:01 am

I don't know about anyone else, but the use of certain words in sex scenes serves to... I dunno, cheapen them, I guess. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it. But it's words like 'member' and 'sex' and 'entrance' that do it. That is, of course, no discredit to your writing. It's probably just some stupid quirk of mine that makes it weird. Having said that, I did enjoy reading these scenes. Though the significance of the word 'ape' in the haiku eludes me, the rest of it is delightfully meaningful. It reminds me of the Avatar episode 'Tales of Ba Sing Se', in which Sokka inadvertently finds himself to be a pro haiku poet. Anyway, that's enough blather from me.
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The O.H.L.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/28/2012 (mature content)

Post by The O.H.L. » Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:28 am

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:I don't know about anyone else, but the use of certain words in sex scenes serves to... I dunno, cheapen them, I guess. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it. But it's words like 'member' and 'sex' and 'entrance' that do it. That is, of course, no discredit to your writing. It's probably just some stupid quirk of mine that makes it weird. Having said that, I did enjoy reading these scenes. Though the significance of the word 'ape' in the haiku eludes me, the rest of it is delightfully meaningful. It reminds me of the Avatar episode 'Tales of Ba Sing Se', in which Sokka inadvertently finds himself to be a pro haiku poet. Anyway, that's enough blather from me.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.
I have to agree with, the use of the word member and sex to describe sexual organs did seem to take me out of the story a bit. But those were the only ones I really had a problem with. The writing was still great, and you're telling a great story.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/28/2012 (mature content)

Post by Mahorfeus » Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:36 am

Just be glad that he didn't use 'mollusk'. Kidding aside, I can understand how certain words might detract from the experience, but it didn't really happen for me in this case. The ones that usually throw me off are "cock" and "pussy." I find words like "member" a little more subtle, so you don't have to shout to the reader that "THEY'RE HAVING SEX, K?"

As for the rest, I enjoyed it as always. It's a refreshing way to start a day of exams. Looks like I was right about the bear, minus the wrestling match and seeing Takashi get torn limb from limb. I really like the way you've been characterizing Lelouch. I've been wondering how to do so for some time, but accounting for his aphasia is something I've never been able to get a grasp of. Lelouch and Miki pairings inbound.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/28/2012 (mature content)

Post by Rikabro » Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:55 am

Ahh yes. I had the choice to either go easy on the nouns, or not to. I chose not to because I'm imitating the style of the original routes, which themselves shift a bit on the descriptive side when it comes to the sex. On the other hand I'm pretty inexperienced writing this sort of thing, so that might be the problem too. I tried to keep it something shy of "purple headed warrior" and "quivering mound of love pudding."

I'll take it under advisement and see if I can't make it a bit more tasteful. Thanks for the feedback.
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Re: Rika Story - updated 4/28/2012 (mature content)

Post by The O.H.L. » Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:12 am

Rikabro wrote:Ahh yes. I had the choice to either go easy on the nouns, or not to. I chose not to because I'm imitating the style of the original routes, which themselves shift a bit on the descriptive side when it comes to the sex. On the other hand I'm pretty inexperienced writing this sort of thing, so that might be the problem too. I tried to keep it something shy of "purple headed warrior" and "quivering mound of love pudding."

I'll take it under advisement and see if I can't make it a bit more tasteful. Thanks for the feedback.
Purple headed warrior sounds pretty amazing to me. But yeah it would completely kill the mood.
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