Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird » Fri Aug 23, 2013 11:08 am

I, too, desire some high quality fabrics of my favourite characters. Preferably Egyptian Cotton.
BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop - my fanfiction portal topic. Contains links to all my previous works, plus starting now any new ones I may produce (or reproduce)! Please, check it out!

BlackWaltz's Pastebin - for those who prefer to read things with no formatting and stuff. It's mostly the same as in my thread. Also contains assorted other writing!

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Shail
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Shail » Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:23 pm

Lol shush you, my mobiles auto correct has been screwing with me, thought I caught them all xD fabric = fanfic
~I hate endings~ Fan fiction is the only way to keep KS alive!
~The only good ending is a sequel~
~Want to know why I REALLY fucking hate endings? Mirai Nikki Want to know why I love epilogues? Watch the Mirai Nikki OVA
~Mirai Nikki: A perfect example of endings I hate~
Hanako -> Rin -> Shizune -> ? -> ?

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:44 pm

Shail wrote:Forum needs more of a lot ;-; just about all of the good fabrics are either pseudo routes or Hanako. Not that I'm complaining, Hanako > all, still wish there were more fabrics of high quality regarding other characters. I'm looking forward to this one, almost done with the Emi route!
Oh, the forum does have a lot more good fics than only those of Hanako...
Stay tuned for more on that front ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Shail
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Shail » Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:29 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Shail wrote:Forum needs more of a lot ;-; just about all of the good fabrics are either pseudo routes or Hanako. Not that I'm complaining, Hanako > all, still wish there were more fabrics of high quality regarding other characters. I'm looking forward to this one, almost done with the Emi route!
Oh, the forum does have a lot more good fics than only those of Hanako...
Stay tuned for more on that front ;-)
I define "good fics" in a peculiar fashion, if it's not long enough I literally can't remember the name unless I read it multiple times(I hate reading things a 2nd time unless it's been a while and it's REALLY good, by a while I mean at least a month) so anything that's not a certain length(15m read time or longer) I discount immediately, it may be good, give some feels, but in the end I won't remember it. There are a few exceptions but none I can remember off the top of my head, when taking that into consideration, just about all the good fanfics I have read were about Hanako(With the exception of Akira and Snoozu pseudo routes), I'm not complaining because Hanako is still my favorite canon character, with Lilly a close 2nd(haven't even done Lilly's route yet...) and Akira following them(as for OC chars, I gotta give it to Scissorlips and his Snoozu character, 100% gold. It has enough length to make me happy and the quality to match it, wish it had a sequel but even so, it's beautiful)

I think the shortest fanfic that I both liked and can remember the name of is Mendacium
~I hate endings~ Fan fiction is the only way to keep KS alive!
~The only good ending is a sequel~
~Want to know why I REALLY fucking hate endings? Mirai Nikki Want to know why I love epilogues? Watch the Mirai Nikki OVA
~Mirai Nikki: A perfect example of endings I hate~
Hanako -> Rin -> Shizune -> ? -> ?

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YutoTheOrc
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by YutoTheOrc » Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:10 pm

Wow, just wow. You had me on the edge of my seat,bed, pillow? Well whatever, I thought it was awesome. Loved the ending, thank you for writing this! :)

Lloonnee2
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Lloonnee2 » Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:34 pm

Apologies for the nerco. Stumbled upon KS after not thinking about it for a year plus randomly last night and been catching up on what happened after the fandom went silent about a couple of years back.

Naturally, being an Emi fan, I was curious regarding the presence of fanfic, and read this and another Emi fanfic (amusingly enough, also called Emilogue: http://pastebin.com/1JXHm0qB). Both dealt with different situations and characterization of both characters seemed quite accurate ^^

I suppose the only complaint would be that it wasn't longer (spoiled by pages of text like Oregairu's Light Novels) but those are written by professional writers so it's not likely to change anytime soon. The friendly casual dialogue between both characters (as well as Miss Ibarazaki), references to events in the original game as well as conceivable H scenes (no pun intended) which flowed naturally in the plot gave the fanfic a polished feel. I accidentally spoiled myself scrolling through posts here before reading but it didn't detract much from the enjoyment of seeing how the characters had grown and changed as a result of their experiences, so someone reading it for the first time would probably have a lot more fun with it :)

Once again, appreciate the time taken to write a fanfic like this, Mountaineer. An enjoyable read :D
My KS tribute video to Emi: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO3ETgqrV0c

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Blackmambauk
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Blackmambauk » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:17 am

I really liked this fanfic, you see very few post Emi route fic's done around here and the ones I have read so far haven't really been good in my view.

But this one really impressed me in how it felt natural in having Emi and Hisao go on a trip somewhere and bad things happen. Though Hisao not having his phone on him was something I would question, but I overlook it simply due to rule of drama and the fact the writing was so good.

You got Hisao and Emi down very well with their characterizations, how they would act on a trip up the mountains, how they would tease each other. by the way which mountain were they climbing? Since Ks is implied to take place near Sendai in the northern part of Japan. I would suspect they went to around the parts of where you can find the Asiatic Black Bear. Though with at least 70% of Japan being hills and mountains, they could have gone anywhere.

Loved how Hisao once Emi lost her bag and legs, carried her all the way down the mountain while trying to keep her and himself form falling apart, and yet Emi did the same later on when his heart acted up. Great way of showing how they are knights supporting each other. Showing how equal their relationship is, along with how far they are coming as a couple.

Liked the H-scenes, once again very in character for Hisao and Emi, the first one being quite kinky in words and actions, the second being hilarious like the anal scene from her route. Yet serving a nice purpose of trying to keep warm, though I wonder about Emi feeling Hisao's cum on her the next day, not the nicest thing to have on your skin once it starts sticking to it.

The final one being like their final H scene in her route, it's all above the love they have and how they are glad to still have one another after their experience.

Loved how you used Meiko, you really got down her feelings and her love and sorrow for Emi and her late husband. Along with how she views Hisao and his relationship with Emi. She was a character I really liked and her talk with Hisao was one of the best parts of that route, plus she is quite the tease at times which makes her all the more enjoyable. She is a great example of how to do a good and believable parent in fiction I feel.

I don't remember if Hisao ever called didn't refer to Meiko other than her surname. But it makes sense since in Japan showing proper respect to elders is important to the social norm there, being over familiar with someone is heavily frowned upon.

Really liked the ending, it felt natural, made sense and was fitting to the story after the events that happened.

I did read you at somepoint were thinking of a sequel to this fic, I wouldn't mind seeing one being done if it can be done right. But since it has been a few years since this fic was done, I assume it won't happen.

But the one shot stands very well on it's own and is now up there with my favourite KS fic's, which include Sisterhood, Weekend at Hisao's, Learning to Fly and others.

So well done on creating a great one shot fic that explores Emi and Hisao. I hope someone adds it to the recommendation list on Tvtropes, I feel it deserves to be on there.

Blackmambauk
"I think the greatest skill a writer can have is simply having confidence in themselves to tell the story they want to tell, and to have confidence that their audience will make up their own minds on their story and characters." Blackmambauk

Favourite Route= All the Routes were done well. Each had it's strengths and weak points. But none were bad, a brilliant achievement by the KS Team.

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b12c2018
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by b12c2018 » Fri Apr 27, 2018 10:02 pm

Just finished the Emi line and read your story. As others have said, greatly written!

Especially how Hisao gave Emi kind of "the second crack" by saying "I love you, Emi. Enough to die for you.", echoing the game where Emi cracked at the words "I love you." (Indeed, while I was reading through the Emi line, when Hisao was stuck on how to comfort her, I was like shouting all the time, "Stupid Hisao, just say those 3 words!!!")

A bit of nitpick, the story seemed to be written kind of in an American style, instead of Japanese. For example, words like "Oh my God" don't quite seem Japanese. Also the erotic scenes. Comparing those in the games, I found that when talking about sex, the game described the motions and important body parts quite subtly. Also, I have never heard of a Japanese with surname "Tuso" (being quite good at Japanese myself). I assume the author is American? If so, I guess culture difference is one thing to watch out for when writing stories that is based on another country.

But other than those, great story! Can't wait for a sequel, if possible.

Tkiss, new to this forum
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Apr 28, 2018 7:48 am

I think it's perfectly okay to use English figures of speech when writing a story in English.
If you restrict yourself not to use them, the story will feel bland, and if you use literally translated Japanese ones the vast majority of your readers will scratch their heads.
Now of course that doesn't apply to pop-culture references, and invocations of god might be a borderline case...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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b12c2018
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by b12c2018 » Fri May 11, 2018 11:40 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Sat Apr 28, 2018 7:48 am
I think it's perfectly okay to use English figures of speech when writing a story in English.
If you restrict yourself not to use them, the story will feel bland, and if you use literally translated Japanese ones the vast majority of your readers will scratch their heads.
Now of course that doesn't apply to pop-culture references, and invocations of god might be a borderline case...
I see. It just feels a bit strange to me that they are apparently Japanese people, yet they speak in English figures of speech. Also, the game handled this issue pretty well (I read some of the scripts in both languages), so, as an "epilogue", I expect it to extend what the game was written to their writings. I guess maybe I am too observant, that I look for these details when I appreciate others' work. That the game handled language issues meticulously makes me love it.

Don't get me wrong though, as I mentioned before, the story was really well-written.
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon May 14, 2018 10:04 am

Well, you know the VN was originally written in English, and the Japanese version is "just" a translation.
As such the VN overflows with English (and in some cases Australian) figures of speech, some of which would make no sense to a Japanese speaker at all.
For example there are some puns in the chapter title, like "Presents and Presence" in Lilly's path which puns on the similar sounding words which probably couldn't be maintained in the Japanese version - I surerl couldn't get anything to work in the German one. Or "Bread, Scissors, Paper" from Shizune's path which it was pretty easy to get to work in German, but it would probably be much harder in Japanese where the game has a completely different name...
Katawa Shoujo was written in English for a predominantly English audience, so it would be strange to have everyone talk with the equivalent of a Japanese accent.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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b12c2018
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by b12c2018 » Mon May 14, 2018 11:27 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Mon May 14, 2018 10:04 am
Well, you know the VN was originally written in English, and the Japanese version is "just" a translation.
As such the VN overflows with English (and in some cases Australian) figures of speech, some of which would make no sense to a Japanese speaker at all.
For example there are some puns in the chapter title, like "Presents and Presence" in Lilly's path which puns on the similar sounding words which probably couldn't be maintained in the Japanese version - I surerl couldn't get anything to work in the German one. Or "Bread, Scissors, Paper" from Shizune's path which it was pretty easy to get to work in German, but it would probably be much harder in Japanese where the game has a completely different name...
Katawa Shoujo was written in English for a predominantly English audience, so it would be strange to have everyone talk with the equivalent of a Japanese accent.
Thanks for the info! In that case, the one who translated the game to Japanese is a genius! I started the game in Japanese (and then after some time switching to English in order to read faster). Given how observant I am, I never found a clue from the words that it was originally English. But your examples made a point. Indeed, there was no such pun as "Presents and Presence" in Japanese, though they handled the "Bread, Scissors, Papers" very nicely. The Japanese for that is "Jan, Ken, Pon", and they changed to "Pan" for bread.

Very interesting. Given your comments, I will probably replay at least some of the scenes in Japanese to look for more details. Excellent work from the devs!
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue May 15, 2018 11:02 am

The Japanese translator is Hir. He has an account here on the forum though he's never been a very active poster. He might react if you drop him a PM.
Not sure about the other members of the team.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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b12c2018
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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by b12c2018 » Sun May 20, 2018 9:34 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Sat Apr 28, 2018 7:48 am
I think it's perfectly okay to use English figures of speech when writing a story in English.
If you restrict yourself not to use them, the story will feel bland, and if you use literally translated Japanese ones the vast majority of your readers will scratch their heads.
Now of course that doesn't apply to pop-culture references, and invocations of god might be a borderline case...
I just finished Sisterhood, probably the longest fanfic of this forum. And I noticed that you helped proofreading it.
Coming back to your comment earlier, Sisterhood pretty much did what I suggested, using Japanese names for pretty much every Japanese character, and integrated Japanese cultural stuff while providing appropriate explanations (like o-mikuji, NCT, Retired Husband Syndrome, spoilers here for the sake of Sisterhood readers), so that "the vast majority of your readers will" not "scratch their heads". Comparing the writing style of these two pieces, I would say both have their merits, but Sisterhood seems to be a smoother continuation of the game.

By the way, proofreading that 450k words must be a hell of work. Great job! I gave my comments and appreciation on that piece in that thread already.
Tkiss

"I lost so much when I came to Yamaku. I was... depending on you, more than I ever thought I did... After losing my entire life, and everyone I'd known, the thought of losing you, as well... I love you, Hanako. I love you so much, that the thought of losing you frightened me so much..." -- Scene Adulthood

=> Decided to love my wife every day

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Re: Ascent: An Emilogue (Erotic Content)

Post by sloth4 » Wed May 23, 2018 11:15 pm

I found this to be an enjoyable read. Was kinda slow in hooking me at the beginning, but once they were out and about on the mountain it became really engaging. And major kudos on the bad ending, it was real tearjerker.

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