Amendments (Complete)

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by CarnivalNights » Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:58 am

Eprlide wrote:I apologize for the lack of updating, with my main time-consumer being my uncle who was recently sent to the hospital for health problems (go figure). My new deadline will be Wednesday, and thanks for your patience!
Your deadline is when it's done. Don't rush on our behalf. I was just surprised since I just didn't see it anymore on the front.

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:10 am

You miss every shot you don't take... but there are still missed shots for every shot you do take.

All she could picture was herself in her own room, hanging onto the dolls she held dear for so long. Back then, Lilly had departed to Scotland and left the weak Hanako to her own devices. With Hisao being much to busy with the student council, even the next person she thought she could begin to trust was too preoccupied for her.

And just for that, she had come to hate Shizune and Misha like her friend Lilly did, for taking the chance away from her. But she also hated Lilly, for leaving her when she still needed her for almost everything, even if she cared too much sometimes. She came to hate Hisao as well, because even though she wanted to be with him on the inside, she blamed him as well for not taking an interest in herself, which was also a fault on her own.

So she hated herself as well.


Strong and ear-piercing, the scream which was not her own startled her out of her bed and onto her feet. She could see herself slowly urging each leg of her body to break its wooden sticks and move, heading to the door at a snails pace until she let the door fly open into a bad decision.

As a blur ran down the hallway, a glove aflame was cast from the hand and was flying straight to Hanako’s face. But from the glove, the world slowed down and reversed in time. A hand took its place, still burning, and an adult female figure was reaching out for the girl despite the woman being on fire as well. The world began to expand and grow as Hanako shrinked back to her childish self, frozen with fear as the life she knew began to come crashing down onto her just like it had done the night before.

“Hanako… everything will be… alright in the end… I promise…”


Door. Slam. Lock. Jump. Bed. Curl. Shake. Sob. Cry. Weep. Agony. Suffering. How many more painful memories did she need to endure?!?


A stirring from the bed sheets broke the attention from Hanako in her half-dream state, and in the spur of the moment, remembered everything of what had happened the night before. Her eyes darted, then froze on the bed sheets. They were still pink. Then they darted to the golden eyes of the sole other human in the room.


Her eyes began to get moist again, and she averts her gaze so Misha couldn’t see her face. Even though the action was too late for its intended purpose, it still had its impact on Misha, which was only amplified more by Hanako’s question.

“D-d-do you t-think… that this i-is still w-worth b-being together f-for?”

Hanako instinctively curls up into the fetal position, shaking again and freely letting her tears fall. There was only so much she could take. Misha freezes on the spot, desperately trying to get an answer.

“I-I-I h-have d-done nothing b-but causing t-trouble for p-people… t-to the point w-where I-I am n-no longer wanted… I-If nobody want t-to b-bother with m-me anymore… wh-why am I s-still trying?!? I… I s-should have given u-up years a-ago!”

Hanako was breaking down before Misha’s eyes, whose lack of understanding boiled her down to one conclusion. This might be the biggest mistake in her life, but there might be no other way around it to save her only friend.

“Hanachan… forgive me…”


The movement was fluid and quick, a simple moving of Hanako’s head to a peck on the lips from Misha to Hanako. Everything fell dead silent for an eternities-time for the two in the room, and the tension was fierce enough to be felt in the air through the door in the hallway.

“A… A… Ch-m…..“

Hanako was broken one again, but in a much different way. The sobbing couldn’t be stopped, and with nothing else to do, she threw her arms around her dear friend.


Crying and weeping uncontrollably, Hanako buried her face in her friends’ shoulder, unable to think correctly nor able to change what she was doing. For the time she had her friend under control, Shiina spoke out.

“I’m sorry, Hanachan… I wish I could have done more for you, but being betrayed like that by Shizune and Hisao… I’m still not used to being alone either. When I was rejected by her, I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe it would be best if the world just took me over by then, because it didn’t matter what would happen to me as long as I didn’t need to bother with her anymore. But she always came back to me, saying we were still friends when I longed for something much more. I… I guess those feelings never truly left me, even when I wanted to respect you for going through what you’ve been though like I’ve also gone through.”

Confessing once again, she held on tight to Hanako as her onslaught of emotions began to die down. Shiina’s talk soon degraded into ramblings which still had some emotional thought.

“I’m not all that smart, some call me annoying and pushy, but I still want some things to myself… Please, Hanako, I want to be treated as a person too…”

All Hanako could do is nod, trying to regain control of her own body. Shiina waited patiently, minute by minute, until it seemed like she could talk again on her own.

“Hanachan… I don’t want to go to classes today. Do you mind if we just talked instead?”

“N-no… not at all…”

Hanako finally smiles, however softly, in the longest time, and sits up on the bed. Shiina soon does the same, and before long, they engage in conversation.


“H-hey…” The duo, later in the day, walk out to the front of the school, waiting for Lilly to come for the common evening walk into town. Even though they talked about many things in the small comfy room, one thing still bugged her mind.

“Yea?” Shiina stops her stride and turns her attention to Hanako.

“I… I d-don’t quite understand y-you yet, Sh-Shiina.”

The negative comment only gets a wide grin out of Shiina, almost making her laugh.

“I don’t know all that much about you either, Hanachan, but time can change that, right? In time, friends get to know each other!”

Choosing her words carefully, Shiina takes both of Hanako’s hands in her own, and locks eye contact.


A soft, sweet smile appears on her face.

“Yes…. We’re friends now. I am… very happy, to be f-friends with you, Shiina.”

“Ah, there you two are.”

The stricken duo turns to see the approaching figure of Lilly holding her cane as always.

“We all ready?”


“Y-yes, Lilly.”

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Shiina gives a confident grin to Hanako as the trio descends down the steps heading to the town below, awaiting for their new friendship to grow once again into whatever they would want.


[I may not be you, but I will try my best to work everything out between them and us. I promise, Shizune, so you can stop crying.]

It's not over yet! Finale coming... when it's done I guess.
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Daitengu » Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:04 am

“I… I d-don’t quite understand y-you yet, Sh-Shiina.”
And one more person snagging Hanako good ending lines for their alt story good ending :(

Add: I think Misha and Hanako have a much better understanding of each other compared to Hisao and Hanako at the end of the Hisao/Hanako good arc. Simply for the fact that they acted as an emotional confessional to each other in the very first chapter, then once again in the newest one. In Game, that kind of thing only happens at the end of Hanako's good and bad end.

You might want to reread your whole story, because the end of this chapter disconnects from the first chapter.
Last edited by Daitengu on Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Brogurt » Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:51 am

>Hanako getting friendzoned again
>this time by Misha
1329167999009.png (171.64 KiB) Viewed 1395 times

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Fri Jun 29, 2012 5:37 pm

I wonder if anyone else finds it odd that after I show my interest in a Suzu route that one week later TWO start up on their own. On the same day.

Well, there goes my interest in that.

Having only returned to coming onto the forms again more recently (Dota 2 is to blame for that), I will be wrapping up Amendments *soon* and then probably starting something new. The problem I've had for months now is that I have too many ideas to choose from. Do I do something with the standard characters, make an OC story, create an interesting crossover or something else?

I'll get to everything eventually and I will finish this. That's something I can do now.

Long time no see, -Eprlide
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Chrono180 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:09 pm

Glad to hear you're going to finish it. I like this fic a lot.

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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:05 am

Why does time fly at the worst times? Oh well, the finale is here!)
Eprlide wrote:I cannot make guarantees...
The only guarantee in this world... is that there are no guarantees.


The room was dead silent. The smell of tea wafted through the room like it always did, but the air also held a stangent feeling to it. Not a single word was spoken; not by Misha, Hanako or Lilly. Why they kept silent was all to themselves, but the added effect of everyone else doing the same only added to their own personal resolution.


It has been three days since Misha's outbreak against Hisao and Shizune. Three short yet numbingly scary days, trying to forget all that happened in the past and focus on the new reality. But both she and Hanako knew, somewhere inside, that the past would eventually come back to get them both. It was from their own personal life experiences that taught them this, and from the way the air was around them, even Lilly was able to tell that they were tense over something. She just couldn't find out what, and she knew too that if she asked, she wasn't likely to get an answer. Nonetheless, she does her best to break the frigid silence.

"So, do you two have any plans for summer yet?"

Both of them were silent to respond, which Lilly took as an obvious answer.

"Well, as you both know my plans are already set. I would just feel better off if I knew you two would be occupied with activities over the break."

"I k-know, Lilly."

Hanako's eyes turn downcast as Misha tries to explain.

"To be honest, Lillychan, I haven't gotten used to this just yet. I'm sure as things calm down me and Hanachan can get some great ideas~!"

She returns to her energetic tone at the end to try and lighten up the situation, but to no avail from Hanako. Lilly does crack a smile at the least.

"Well, I hope that wont be to far away. Summer is closer then you might think, but I'm sure I can be relieved knowing she's with you."

"I-it's not like we're getting married or anything! Right, Hanachan~?"

"S.. Sure."

Hanako made no attempt to smile, still expecting the worse. But the one who had more worry then her wasn't Misha, but Lilly.

"Would you like some more tea?"

"Yes, please!"


Lilly had always heard Misha's voice as the gateway for Shizune's thoughts and feelings, but with Misha being her own character now, some of the old thoughts she had about her were still there. How much of Shizune's influence was still on her? Was she just as pushy and aggressive as the one who needed her for translation? Through all the things Hanako told her about Misha, Lilly could never get the doubt off of her mind. That even though she had tried to separate herself from her, Shizune still had an iron grip on her. And if her forceful side was still there...

Was it really safe to leave Hanako in her care?

"Here's your tea."


All three of them jump at the sound.

"I'll go get it."

Lilly carefully sets the tea cups on the table, walks over to the door and opens it.

"Ah, Lilly."


The two remaining inside freeze at the sound of his name, but Lilly does her best to keep her posture.

"What are you here for?"

"Well... you, actually. Would you mind coming with me for a while?"

"...Sure, I guess."

Lilly initially felt uncomfortable leaving the two alone, but Hisao's voice had a tint of something troubling, perhaps urgent, was the matter. The other two could notice this as well, but they couldn't move to stop Lilly from grabbing her cane and walking out the door.

"Pardon me for a while, then. I'll be back later."

A closing of the door later, and it was to late to stop them. Misha lets out a long sigh before speaking up.

"You felt this coming too?"

Hanako nods.

"I-it always happens... J-Just when things are g-going right for once. E-every time."

Hanako looks down again, but is comforted by a hand onto her shoulder.

"Hey, Hanachan, we gotta get stronger eventually, or we aren't gonna get anywhere, right~?"

Another nod.

"I.. I just..."

"Just what?"

Hanako looks back at Misha with her most common expression, one which solidifies her words.

"I just fear... f-for the worst."


"Hisao, where are we going?"

This was the second time Lilly asked him this question, but just like the first, he kept silent. All Lilly could do was to walk down the corridor, tapping her cane left and right as she was lead by the sound of Hisaos' footsteps.

Eventually, Hisao gets to a point and stops.

"Wait here for a bit."

Before Lilly can object, he enters the room for a few seconds before calling Lilly in. The moment Lilly walks into the room, she asks with a harsh tone.

"It's her, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah... its her."

She sighs deeply, followed by another one from Shizune who was sitting at the table. Lilly was led into the Student Council room, and the atmosphere was both nostalgic and unsettling. Even Hisao was uncomfortable, the tension between the cousins filling in the air.

"Shizune wanted me to bring you here because she wants to talk."

"Oh, does she now?"

Lilly couldn't keep calm anymore and it began to agitate Shizune as well; the common effect they had on each other. Misha never played peace keeper, but now with Hisao as the interpreter, he had to do his best. A few signs between him and Shizune passed before he spoke again.

[Tell her to give back our friend and fellow worker.]

"Shizune... really wants Misha back with her. With us in the Student Council."

Hisao did his best to sugar-coat the real words relayed from Shizune.

"I never 'took' Misha from her. She came to me after having spoken her feelings to Hanako. I am simply keeping the two of them company as they decide on what their next move is. You know this tactic, right?"

[She says it's not her fault. She says Misha joined them and she just accepted her in.]

[Bullshit. And I don't want any excuses; just her back.]

"She just wants her back."

"Then why are you asking me and not her?"

[Because Misha will run away like she's done for nearly a week now.]

"If she's avoiding you, isn't that enough of an answer from her?"

[Exactly. That's why we're asking her back from you.]

"And I'm telling you, it's not my fault."

The argument was already headed off to nowhere within the first minute, Hisao now understood how Misha felt trying to relay everything between the two people, except she never held back on what the other person said, which was usually for the worst.

"Are you even aware of what's been going on through her mind at all?"

[The past is not something to reminiscent over. I thought you would have already known this.]

Hisao constantly tried his best to only get the general message across without any trace of anger or spite through, but the feeling through the air was still enough to get both sides tense.

"But the past can be important, especially when deciding on actions in the future, like you should know."

[I don't want to loose a battle I've already won a long time ago.]

"So what happened to addressing the problem head-on?"

[We are! Misha is just hiding behind you for protection! This is still technically a head-on assault! I WILL get Misha back!]

"[Okay, can you two stop please?!]"

Hisao finally intervened between the two, but Lilly was already headed to the door.

"Lilly, I'm sure we can still-"

"I have no more business with that woman, Hisao."

Lilly turns around and address the duo.

"Nor with you, Hisao."

"Wait, what? What did I ever do?"

"You fell under her influence, just like Misha did."

"But this is different! I love Shizune and-"

"So does Shiina!"

Hisao goes dead silent at Misha's real name, which Lilly exclaims with her own authority.

"If you really love her, then continue to be with her without question. But, as for me, I am done with her. I do not wish to deal with her again, and once I am in Scottland I can finally relax knowing I will be put of her presence!"

Hisao's feet are frozen to the floor as Lilly exits and slams the door, and for a minute afterward hearing Lilly's footsteps go down the corridor and out of the building. Finally, he manages to get to the door himself, but turns back to Shizune who is still fuming with anger.

[Where are you going?]

[I'll come back, but there are two who need to know what happened.]

Hisao leaves the Student Council Room uncontested.


"I... I s-see."

"Another fight~? That's all?"

"Well, it could have been worse, but I managed to stop it before it got to far."

Both Hanako and Misha got an understanding of the situation after Hisao explained what happened throughly. Lilly didn't come back to the room, and it was assumed she just went to her dorm.

"Good thing you stopped them before it got worse~! A lot worse stuff has happened between the two that you haven't seen, luckily."


"Y-yeah... I've heard s-some stories... f-from Lilly."

Hisao nods and stand up from the chair.

"I'll be taking my leave then. I guess I'll see you two later, then."

"Okay! Later, Hicchan~!"

"B-bye, Hisao."

After he leaves the room, Misha quickly drops back to her previous attitude, slouching in her chair.

"I guess it makes sense anyway..."

"W-what does?"

Misha turns back to Hanako.

"Why Shicchan could never accept me."

"Oh... W-why is t-that?"

Hanako wanted to stop herself from asking that question, but the words slipped out before she could.

"It's because of Shiina."

Misha still responded anyway, which only made Hanako confused.

"B-but I thought... you used t-to be like m-me."

"That was before I came to Yamaku. You see, I also came here because I knew bullying was held in the lowest regard here. Since nobody would tease me anymore, I wanted to become someone I was never given the chance to be."

Hanako nods as Misha takes a big sigh, then continues.

"I was still energetic back then, but I wanted to help out people. That was one of the initial reasons I joined the Student Council. I really, really~ liked helping people out whenever I could, and I was kind to everyone I met and did my best to make friends. But those friends didn't matter to me as I got closer and closer to Shizune, and eventually it was just me and her, in that room, when I confessed to her. Even though she did reject me, her reason for it was worse then the rejection itself."

Misha's eyes begin to water up in memory.

"It was the worst excuse. It was only a few days after Lilly left the Student council, but Shizune said that I reminded her to much of her cousin, her rival. That was my motivation for becoming Misha; to become someone that Shizune could accept. Dying my hair, the drills, being harsh on people, not holding back on my thoughts, all of it was to be a person that maybe Shizune could fall in love with too, and to remove any trace of the person that reminded her of Lilly. I tried to get rid of the person known as Shiina Mikado... but I could never do it all the way... I could never be fully accepted by Shizune..."

Before Hanako could move, Misha hugged her from the side and buried her face into her shoulder, trying to suppress her tears. As Misha's body began to shake, Hanako slowly put one hand on her head and another on her shoulder to support her.

"Misha... Failed her job... Please let me be Shiina again..."

Hanako slowly nods at her words.

"Y-you can be... who you want to be. I w-wont mind as long as you're happy w-with it."

Shiina slowly let out a smile.

"Thank you so much, Hanachan."


"W-We still have a long way t-to go."

They exited the school building together after a few more minutes were spent in the tea room. The sun was already beginning to set off in the distance as they set their way to the dorms.

"Maybe you're right, but summer is close by~! We can do a lot of things together that can prepare us for the future!"

Hanako responds with a light nod and smile, but the smile quickly vanishes under one thought.

"L-Lilly... will be gone."

"Oh, right..."

Shiina pats Hanako's back softly, causing her to flinch and look at her smiling face.

"This will be my first summer spent without Shizune, but there will still be a lot of stuff for us to do together. Besides... We're not gonna get anywhere unless we get stronger, right?"


"And I think it will be better for the two of us to do it together! You know, so we can support each other when we need it!"


Hanako looks at the ground briefly before smiling lightly again and looking back at her.

"Thank you, Shiina."

"Nah, the thanks is to you, Hanachan."

They both smiled a bit wider as they continued their walk to the dorms.

"So, is there anything you want to do over the summer, Hanachan?"

"W-well, there is this one club I'm a bit i-interested in..."

The End
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

Posts: 90
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:15 pm

Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Chrono180 » Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:20 am

Excellent fic. Very touching.

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