Amendments (Complete)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Eprlide
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:04 pm

Well, this has certainly been a long time. Without further ado, the continuation of Amendments, a Hanako-Misha story.

You will make mistakes in life. Whenever you let them slow you down is up to you.

Fluffy and soft.

Those two words alone described Misha's room in a nutshell. Pink wallpaper adorned the walls along with bright red curtains over the windows, making a near-perfect lighting with sunset in motion. The bed is filled with comfortable blankets, including one which was heated from an outlet, along with numerous toys which were, again, fluffy and soft. Everything looked like Misha 100%, and soon the giddy figure herself was nearly bouncing over to her bed and sitting down on it.

"That went pretty well Hanachan~! I'm very happy that Lilly has accepted me into your group."

Hanako smiles and closes the door, walking over to a chair and sitting down.

"I'm happy too, Misha. Th-thank you for being with me for that."

"No need to thank me! We're friends, right~?"

"Friends..."

Hanako turns her head to the side and smiles wider, her eyes looking down as she blushes ever so faintly.

"Y-yes. We are friends now. B-but still, thank you. I mean it."

She looks back up to Misha with a slightly more serious expression while still keeping the same smile. Misha smiles in return and holds her hands over her chest.

"It's so nice to see you smiling like this Hanachan."

Hanako's face blushes vividly and turns to the side.

"Th... thanks?"

"Whahahahaha~!"

Hanako can't help but to chuckle herself with Misha.

"E-even if this will t-take a while... I-i'm glad to be friends with you, M-Misha."

"Same here. But, Hanachan..."

Misha fumbles with her hands a bit as her mind does the same. Finally, she speaks up.

"You can call me Shiina if you want, Hanachan."

Hanako seems taken aback a bit, her smile faltering then reappearing as if it never was gone in the first place.

"S-sure thing, um... Sh-Shiina."

Misha laughs at this.

"Yea, this might take a while, but I think everything will-"

A knock on the door silences Misha. Hanako looks at the door in terror.

"Hey, Misha? Mind if me and Shizune come in for a bit?"

"Hi... Hisao?"

Hanako's gaze shoots straight back to Misha, who now looks terrified as well. It doesn't take long before the door opens on its own.

"Hanako, it was you...?"

Two pair of dark blue and brown eyes set their gazes on the petrified girl on the chair, who begins to shake. Shizune herself begins to tremble, but out of something completely different. Now finally wanting to voice her own argument, she turns to Misha and begins to sign...

Who closes her eyes in front of her.

"Hicchan... Shicchan... please go away..."

Shizune stops, but only gets angrier after Hisao signs for Misha whom refuses to do so. Shizune signs to Hisao for him to translate, who himself can feel the aura around her heating up.

"Misha, Shizune wants to know where you were yesterday and earlier today."

It's a sugar coated response in Misha's mind, and Hanako seems to be seeing the same thing. Sign language is still alien to her, so she stays silent and helpless while the fumbling of words and hands are done before her.

"Hicchan... I thought you were smart... whaha, I guess not now..."

Hisao doesn't bother translating. His gaze goes directly to Hanako, who further draws herself into her own ball.

"This has to do with Hanako?"

Neither her or Misha bother responding to the question. Hisao turns to Shizune and begins signing back and forth again. The room is silent save for their breaths and the movement of hands. Only after what seems to be an eternity does Hisao speak something.

"Hanako, Shizune would like to speak with you."

Hanako jumps out of her chair and almost falls backwards with the chair itself. Her body begins to tremble as her hands reach for anything near to keep her body stable.

"W-w-w-w-why m-m-m-me?"

Her stuttering increases with the shaking of her form, unable to do the one thing that she wants to do: run. Her feet lock in place, and from her voice alone, Misha begins to regret everything she's gotten Hanako into.

"Well... Misha doesn't look like she's going to speak up. Do you think you can talk for her?"

Her eyes quickly dart around the room; from Misha to the ground, Hisao, back to Misha, Shizune, ceiling, floor, Hisao, Misha, Hisao...

"W-w-what i-is I-it?"

Hanako tries to stand up for herself, to stay strong. It was her pact with Misha, to stand by her side for anything.

"Did you encounter Misha yesterday?"

She nods, quickly. A blink of an eye and it wouldn't have been caught.

"What did you two do?"

"W... W-we t-talked...."

Hisao continues to sign with the ever-angry Shizune who tries to quell herself down for Hanako's sake.

"About what?"

Hanako shakes her head, knowing the two wouldn't like the response at all.

"You sure she doesn't want to tell?"

A quick look at Misha confirms; with her eyes still closed and hands taking a hold of her arms, she isn't willing to speak.

"Well...."

Hisao and Shizune go back and forth between signing. What comes out of it is something neither Hanako nor Misha expect.

"Hanako, why did Misha... choose you?"

Even sugar-coated, simplified and with calm, the question hits Hanako harder then a burning log of wood, who knows the truth. Her eyes shoot wide open and as far as they can go, when something goes wrong. Her shaking gets worse, her gaze goes blank and out of focus, and her eyes begin to moisten up.

"I-i-i-i-i...... C-c-c-c-c-c...."

Hisao and Shizune stand frozen at the sight of Hanako, who begins to tremble out of control and fall to the ground on her knees. Completely lost in her panic attack, her world shrinks down to her hearts level, burnt and curled up, not letting a single soul nor word get through to her. Shizune tries to take a step forward, but is stopped by Hisao taking his hand into hers. She looks back in confusion, but before Hisao can sign anything, a weak voice makes his movements freeze.

"Get... out..."

Misha finally opens her eyes, tears flowing freely and eyes red from mental exhaustion. A feeling overcomes her as she points directly at the two of them.

"Just get out! Please, get out! Move! I don't want you here! Do you see what you've done to her?"

She points directly at Hanako, still on her knees and trembling. Hisao is taken aback by the event in front of her, and even Shizune now looks worried.

"You won't get it! You never listen to whatever I say Shicchan! I'm tired of it, and she is too! JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HER!"

Finally breaking out of her seat on the bed, she goes on her knees behind Hanako and holds her, both of them tearing up. Only Misha is full-out crying, her head hanging with her newest and most dear friend.

"You... have only... known me once, Shicchan... and you remember... when that time was..."

A few seconds pass by in silence before Misha is again taken into rage and stands, rushing to her two oldest friends.

"JUST GET OUT!"

Even with Hisao and Shizune backing up, they are too slow and are shoved out by their friend, who then slams the door on them and locks it. Misha runs back over to Hanako, helps her up and gets her inside of her bed sheets, resting comfortably. With no other way to treat her on her mind, Shiina Mikado curls up with Hanako, both trembling and crying for the past they have endured, but still for very different reasons...
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Mahorfeus » Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:50 pm

Woo, that was pretty intense. I have to say, I like where this is going.

It seems just like Hisao and Shizune to try to get answers out of Hanako, and just like her to panic over the pressure. I think you captured everybody's personalities pretty well.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

Nakasaro-San
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Nakasaro-San » Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:11 pm

:'( All my feels....



Great story, can't wait to see more :wink:

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:13 am

I think Misha let Hanako fend for herself for much too long before interfering...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Bagheera
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Bagheera » Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:47 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:I think Misha let Hanako fend for herself for much too long before interfering...
That was my take as well. I was thinking "Look what they did? You're the one who threw her to the wolves, Misha!" And while I can see Shizune pushing Hanako like that I'm not sure Hisao would go along with it. He's not that insensitive.
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:37 am

I'm not sure Hisao would go along with it. He's not that insensitive.
Well, in Shizune's path he starts to become this way. After all he doesn't interfere when Shizune crushes Hanako while playing chess either.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Bagheera
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Bagheera » Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:15 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I'm not sure Hisao would go along with it. He's not that insensitive.
Well, in Shizune's path he starts to become this way. After all he doesn't interfere when Shizune crushes Hanako while playing chess either.
Good point.
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


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Eprlide
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:18 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
I'm not sure Hisao would go along with it. He's not that insensitive.
Well, in Shizune's path he starts to become this way. After all he doesn't interfere when Shizune crushes Hanako while playing chess either.
Yes, and as stated before, this story is based on Shizune good-end.
Mirage_GSM wrote:I think Misha let Hanako fend for herself for much too long before interfering...
I had the original intention of her being overcome with regret for her to do anything, and with having them make Hanako talk, it would only get worse until she broke just like Hanako in her outbreak and kicking them out of her room. Maybe it could be a bit more clear.

Glad everyone seems to be liking it. I *hope* I can get part four (maybe the finale?) in before the weekend. And after this story is done... I'm torn between adding something onto Breaking the Rules, continuing my OC story or just starting a new project altogether... A Suzu Route.

I plan on not having another hiatus like the one I just had. Stay tuned for more!
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

Beoran
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Beoran » Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:09 pm

I like Hanako, and I love this fanfic. She deserves all the love she can get. :) Alsom Misha desevrs more than she gets in the game. This fanfic captures the essence of characters very well, and actually, it makes a lot of sense that Shiina (not Misha) and Hanako would get along. So please keep up the good work with this story! I won't be upset whether or not they end up loving each other, as long as the ending is not too depressing. :)
Kind Regards, B.
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here.
Take a look at Eruta my jRPG under development. New web site since december 2012.
Play Ature, my free and open source indie Atari 2600 action adventure game.
All great love is above pity: for it wants - to create what is loved! -- F. Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

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Eprlide
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:11 pm

Beoran wrote:as long as the ending is not too depressing. :)
I cannot make guarantees...
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:23 pm

"You can call me Shiina if you want, Hanachan."
You do realize that Misha is already her nickname?
This is almost like telling her she can call her "Miss Mikado" if she wants to...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Mahorfeus » Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:30 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
"You can call me Shiina if you want, Hanachan."
You do realize that Misha is already her nickname?
This is almost like telling her she can call her "Miss Mikado" if she wants to...
I read it as her wanting Hanako to know the "real" her, which Misha seems to allude to towards the end. I could only assume Misha was referring to her love confession during that part; her big identity/hairstyle change came afterwards I think.

Or I'm just misreading mistaken context. :?:
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

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Eprlide
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:36 pm

Mahorfeus wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
"You can call me Shiina if you want, Hanachan."
You do realize that Misha is already her nickname?
This is almost like telling her she can call her "Miss Mikado" if she wants to...
I read it as her wanting Hanako to know the "real" her, which Misha seems to allude to towards the end. I could only assume Misha was referring to her love confession during that part; her big identity/hairstyle change came afterwards I think.

Or I'm just misreading mistaken context. :?:
Actually, you're completely right.
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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CarnivalNights
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by CarnivalNights » Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:58 am

Oh wow...I completely forgot about this story.
Image

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Eprlide
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Re: Amendments (Spoilers abound)

Post by Eprlide » Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:31 am

I apologize for the lack of updating, with my main time-consumer being my uncle who was recently sent to the hospital for health problems (go figure). My new deadline will be Wednesday, and thanks for your patience!
"That's the worst, I think. When a secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

My current fan-fic, Gazing from Different Eyes.

Screw math, learning my moon runes is more important!

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