The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

WORDS WORDS WORDS


Chrono180
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Chrono180 »

This is good stuff! Please write more!
tony246
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by tony246 »

Trying to write the best darn Date chapter I can possibly write. Needs time. Needs imagination. Needs fluffs. Give me time.

Oh, and can someone please comment after this, it would make me feel guilty to double post. This is in no way extra advertising. That's just wrong.
I'm not good with this sort of thing, so I"m just going to say it here:
Thank you, Four Leaf Studios.

That is all.
Dan50
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Dan50 »

Hanako's good ending made manly tears come down in rivers. :)
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by ThistlewickVII »

This is awesome.
Became a better person because of KS. But I was pretty awesome to begin with.
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tony246
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by tony246 »

...Writing the date chapter to end all date chapters is surprisingly hard. Especially with limited knowledge.

So, anybody got any advice for this? Own experiences to share? Anything?
I'm not good with this sort of thing, so I"m just going to say it here:
Thank you, Four Leaf Studios.

That is all.
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Brogurt
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Brogurt »

tony246 wrote:...Writing the date chapter to end all date chapters is surprisingly hard. Especially with limited knowledge.

So, anybody got any advice for this? Own experiences to share? Anything?
Dinner and a movie.

Hanako hasn't had the chance to really experience the cinema before since the orphanage probably didn't take field trips there, and she'd never really go places alone, and Lilly wouldn't be able to enjoy them very much, AND it's in a darkened room with attention on the big screen, giving her the privacy she'd like so she can deflect any anxiety issues and spend time with Hisao

As for the order of events

Dinner and then the movies: talk about anything at all during dinner, then enjoy the movies. Straightforward enough
Movies and then dinner: the main topic of discussion can only be the movie, which is nice if you feel like turning the conversation toward that, but obviously it means you'll need a movie in mind to have our couple talk about

If I were you I'd do the former rather than the latter, but it would be pretty cool if you could find a movie that had some relevance to our couple
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Daitengu
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Daitengu »

tony246 wrote:...Writing the date chapter to end all date chapters is surprisingly hard. Especially with limited knowledge.

So, anybody got any advice for this? Own experiences to share? Anything?

Even if you don't have personal experience, as long as you know the characters and general premise of the event, it'll write itself.

Instead of just thinking how to write the story think of it like this:

>event<
character reaction
Supporting character reaction


Example:

>event<Hisao is waiting to meet up with Hanako at the gates to wait for the bus to town.
What are his thoughts? is he nervous, angsty, etc?
>event< Hanako Shows up
How do hisao and Hanako react to each other? Shy? Comfortable? Does anyone else show up?
>event< Bus comes, and they ride the bus.
Is there any thoughts expressed, or conversation?
>event< they arrive at town and Hisao has to think of stuff to do(if he hasn't already had a general idea of what to do.
What does he come up with? Does he bounce ideas off Hanako, or does he try to take the lead? What are Hanako's reaction to proposed events?

It can just kind of ad hock through the whole thing since it's his first real attempt at a date. The unexpected events thrown in could be rather funny, to nervously cute since you're going for fluff. Just remember a little drama added in can make for more endearing fluff moments if written that way. Fruits Basket was very good at mixing drama comedy and fluff. It could give you some story layout ideas.
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Oddball
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Oddball »

If I were you I'd do the former rather than the latter, but it would be pretty cool if you could find a movie that had some relevance to our couple
I would recommend not using Phantom of the Opera. Might send the wrong message.

Seriously though, this brings up another interesting bit you can work with. We have no idea what kind of movie Hanako would like to see, nor does Hisao. Is he going to try to guess what she might want to watch or will he come right out and ask her? If he does guess, is he going to get it right? Suppose he picks something nice and romantic but she's more of a comedy person? Has she ever even watched movies?
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Brogurt
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Brogurt »

ONE MORE THING
consider making her try out a new hairstyle of some sort
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Ascended Flutist
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Ascended Flutist »

Since I also had a date chapter in mind, I'll tell you what my meager corpus-inflicted brain has computed :

Hanako loves a good story, no matter what kind or what setting. She read "Life of Pi", "Dance Dance Dance", and, in Lilly's route, asks Hisao what he think of the Dune series, since in a scene, Hisao tells her in a nutshell that "it becomes meh at God Emperor", (Bad Hisao ! The ending of God Emperor was full of feels !).

So long as you pick a film with a good story, Hanako'll have a good time. And remember : she's tougher than she looks, especially now that she got herself a boyfriend. Your film can get emotional, she won't try to commit suicide afterwards.
And to live in Peace A post Hanako Good End fanfiction. That about sums it up.

Fanfics Thou shalt not regret reading : Bloodline, Doomish's Misha Pseudo-route, Rika's Story, A Pseudo-pseudo Suzu Route.
There are many other apocryphas worth reading in the fanfiction section. Do yourself a favor, dig them up and read them. Reading is good.

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nemz
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by nemz »

It may sound goofy but... I recommend they just see Shrek. It's charming and light, yet touches upon issues both can relate too. Probably makes no sense for that to be in a theatre, so they can go out to dinner then curl up together in someone's room (or even a common room in the dorms) and watch it on netflix together, snuggled up in a blanket.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
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insert_name_here92
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by insert_name_here92 »

I'm fairly certain that KS is set in 2007, but one of the most thematically appropriate films I can think of is WALL-E. Then again, this is just my suggestion, as this is your story after all, so the date is your call entirely in the end.
Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.

Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.

Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
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Daitengu
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Daitengu »

insert_name_here92 wrote:I'm fairly certain that KS is set in 2007, but one of the most thematically appropriate films I can think of is WALL-E.
Also remember that it's Japan, they tend to get a smaller selection of US movies, and they tend to be months if not a year behind release if they go to theaters at all.

It'd be better luck to read this and research. If nothing else pick something that people will recognize from the list.

Example: Bleach movie, Naruto movie, Kaimen Raider movie, Evangelion Movie

actually decent movies for a Hisao/Hanako date: Dear Friends, Hero, Gakkō no Kaidan, Appleseed Ex Machina(considering Hanako and Hisao's penchant for scifi)


Even though some if not many were released in months not appropriate, at least getting the year right would be good.

Then there's the route of seeing "mystery movie X'' and don't talk about it at all. Though that doesn't make sense, because talking about the movie is something one does once they finish it.
tony246
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by tony246 »

...Finally...done...with...chapter...never...again!
But seriously, Date chapters are too hard for me. This is the only one you're getting so you all better enjoy it, but if you don't...I understand. They aren't exactly my forte I suppose.

Anyways, today's chapter is 85% Hanako. None of that false Hanako stuff from last chapter. No siree, all there is in this chapter is Hanako and Hisao...and Lilly...and Kenji. But I promise that's it and that it'll be primarily Hanako focused.

Also, thanks to Brogurt, Daitengu, Oddball, Ascended Flutist, nemz, and insert_name_here92 for the ideas. Oh, and Brogurt, I thought about having a different hairstyle for Hanako, but sadly that's planned for later and I'm not quite versed in hairstyle descriptions anyways so why subject yourself to the pain twice over.

Without further noise, the chapter:

+++
Previous Chapter
+++

Chapter 7: Date

I glance down once again, feeling two parts nervous, three parts excited, one part anxious, and some parts frustrated. Honestly, I’ve read about this, and seen movies about it, but I never expected this situation to fall upon myself.

“I think this combination might work,” Kenji says, pointing to two pieces of clothing before us.

“I dunno, I just don’t think that matches,” I sigh. “Why am I trying to choose an outfit again?”

“From past experiences,” He explains. “And when I say ‘past experiences’ I really mean ‘my girlfriend would get angry every time I came to a date with mismatched clothes.’ Seriously, you’ve never seen a person cry so much about wearing pink on red.”

What I don’t get is why his girlfriend would bug him so much about it when he’s legally blind.

“I still think you’re worrying about this far too much,” Lilly says, speakerphone on full volume. “Everything will work out fine.”

“Look, I just want this date to go well. I mean, I don’t want this to turn out to be the worst night of her life.”

“Dude, like I said, it’s all about the clothes.”

“Hisao, don’t listen to Kenji. Just be yourself and everything will turn out alright.”

“Don’t listen to the blind broad’s TV cookie cutter advice! Plan for everything.”

“…Excuse me?”

“…I beg for forgiveness. Please don’t cut off my fingers.”

“…Back to the matter at hand. Hisao, you have your reservations at the place I told you about, correct?”

“Yes, but I don’t know. Are you sure about that restaurant?”

“Akira said it was pretty good, and the attire is apparently rather casual so it should be fine.”

“Alright, I’ll trust your decision.”

“Speaking of decisions, have you decided what movie you will be watching?”

“Apparently there’s a very well reviewed one that’s playing right now. So we’ll be going there.”

“…” Nothing but static on the other line.

“Lilly?”

“Oh, sorry Hisao, I was just a bit busy. Apparently you’re not the only one worried.”

Before I could decipher what she meant, the alarm starts playing, signaling the end of my planning time.

“Kenji, clothes!”

“Here ya go!”

He tosses me a set of clothing that doesn’t look terrible. In fact, it’s rather presentable, down right coordinated in my amateur opinion. I guess experience does win out here, and it’s pretty sad that a conspiracy nut has more experience in these matters than me.

“Good luck man!”

“You’ll do fine.”

With a nod, I stroll out the door, ready for anything.

+++

…I was definitely, absolutely, most assuredly not ready for that:

Hanako in a dress.

If only I had a thesaurus for all the words I can use to describe the person in front of me. Maybe a few years as well. Though I suppose I am a bit biased…and should stop staring before she slaps me.

“Shall we go?” She asks, smiling nervously as she glances at the restaurant before us.

“Ah, yes,” I agree finally.

That’s it Hisao, use your brain, what comes next.

“You look nice,” I manage to say finally.

“Thanks, you do too,” She replies.

We slip into each other’s hands and walk forward. After strolling through the wooden double doors, I could see several patrons seated at various tables covered in red cloth. In front of us was a man in the restaurant’s uniform, trying desperately to appear professional and not stare at Hanako’s scars. Hanako instinctively brushes her long locks forward. Old habits die hard I guess.

“Table for two?” He asks.

“Yes, reservation under Nakai.”

He sweeps his fingers over the computer screen before answering.

“Ah, yes, right this way please.”

The server quickly shows us a table near the windows. I scout the area once more. The place seems to be…Italian I think. The menu certainly has a lot of strange and foreign words that sound like pasta at least.

“D-do you know what you want?” Hanako asks, eyes peaking over her menu.

“I guess the…em…erm…ah, the Seafood Medley I suppose, and you?”

“Eggplant Parmigiana.”

“Hm, why do they call those things eggplants anyways?”

“In the 18th century, similar plants were white or yellow colored, making them look like hen’s eggs.”

That was rather…unexpected.

“W-what?”

“Nothing, that was just rather out of the blue is all.”

“Y-you were t-the one that asked!” She retorts, face turning a tinge redder.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

“I-I’m not embarrassed.”

“Says the girl turning red.”

Her head immediately collapses, like a falling Jenga tower of some sort, crumpling on the table.

“Why are you teasing me so much?”

“I’m your boyfriend, I get to tease my cute girlfriend because she knows it’s all in good fun. Or at least that’s what it says on the pamphlet.”

“…There’s a pamphlet?”

I pull out a small, Kenji-made pamphlet and show it to her. She scans the entries before handing it back.

“Hisao.”

“Yes?”

“I-I know that some couples do have…‘pet names’ for each other, but I would appreciate it if we don’t do such a thing.”

“Of course.”

“I mean…maybe in the future…in private…but not now or ever in public. I-It’s just too embarrassing. Especially things like ‘S-schmoofie’ or ‘h-honey bunny’ or something like that.”

“Of course.”

“While we’re on the subject…”

+++

About roughly an hour’s worth of debating on what we could and couldn’t do as a couple, we had eaten away our dinner and we were currently enjoying our dessert. However, I couldn’t help but feel as though I was forgetting something.

Something very important.

A matter of life and death.

…What was it.

“Your bill sir,” Our gracious waiter says, handing me a black little booklet.

I glance at the bill and almost spat out my drink.

Oh crap, how did this cost so much.

“Hisao, is something wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing at all.”

Alright Hisao, stay calm. Stay calm. We can get out of this without the night going horribly. Yes, we…just…um…oh…damnit! How did this happen? Gah, I cannot spend tonight doing the dishes. This night has to be perfect! Ok, maybe I can work something out with the owner. Or something. Or maybe the bathroom windows are big enough to crawl out from.

“Excuse me, sir,” The waiter says, interrupting my monologue.

“Yes?” I reply as calmly as possible.

“Apparently your meal has been paid for.”

“Eh?”

“By a Miss Satou I believe.”

…Best. Friend. Ever.

+++

I am feeling rather confident. Aside from the bill issue, nothing else could possibly go wrong. I have the tickets and we are going to see a movie, then have some conversation about the movie, and finally go our separate ways, feeling satisfied by the date.

“Um, w-what are we going to watch?” My lovely date asks.

“It’s a secret.”

Turning around the corner, we enter the movie theater. Inside I could see several posters lining the wall, no doubt for future and current movies to be held. However, something attracts my eye. It was the poster for the movie we came for. It had a rather large red ‘x’ over it. Leaning in closer, I could just make out the text printed on it.

[This movie has been canceled. Sorry for the inconvenience.]

…Oh, the movie has been canceled.

…Oh crap.

“Hisao, is something wrong again?” Hanako asks, her astute skills of observation clearly not failing her.

“N-nothing,” I reply.

“…The movie was canceled, wasn’t it?”

“Of course not, what makes you say that?”

She points to the movie poster with the ‘x’ on it.

“That? Hah, no we’re not seeing that.”

“Oh? And what are we going to see?”

“Um, that is…we’re going to see…that!”

I quickly point to a random poster. She glances at it.

“It’s a Wonderful Life, I don’t think I’ve seen that one before.”

“Oh, me neither. But I thi—heard it was good. Hm, how about you get us some snacks while I find us some seats.”

“Alright,” She agrees.

As she turns around, I quickly sprint for the ticket office. Sliding in, I quickly show the ticket guy the ticket to the cancelled movie and ask for a change.

“Sure.”

With little fuss, I quickly scout out some seats. Throwing my coat over two of the seats, I sprint down the stairs and head towards the snack area. There, I see Hanako, hands already full of popcorn. I try to calm my breathing as she approaches.

“Did you find us some seats?” She asks.

“Yep, no trouble.”

I help her out with one of the popcorn bags and take her hand.

“Shall we go?”

+++

This movie…is oddly familiar. Guy down on his luck meets an angel and turns everything around. If I was pushing it, that would describe me perfectly.

…Or, well, I could just be looking way too deeply.

Either way, there is certainly an angel at my side.

“Hisao?”

“Hm?”

“Is there something on my face?”

“Oh, no, you look perfect.”

+++

As we walked out of the movie theater, I couldn’t help but feel…anxious. I mean, everything so far has not worked out so well. The food was abnormally expensive. The movie we planned to see was canceled. What next, mugging? Meteorite? Car accident?

“Everybody is important.”

“Hm? What’s that Hanako?”

Her head jolts upward, startled by my comment. She quickly turns her head away, trying desperately to not look at me. However, after a minute or two, she looks in my direction.

“Everybody is important,” She repeats. “From the movie…that is what I understand.”

“Oh, well, yeah, that’s what I kinda understood too.”

She takes a few steps ahead of me, does a tiny spin, and faces me fully.

“…Hisao, thank you.”

“Eh? For what?”

“Um, well…you know…for being here…and making me feel…important,” She says, words stumbling over themselves in trying to sound somewhat clear. “That I…matter, really, and that I’m not just a burden. I guess…this makes you my angel, right?”

“…really, that’s a bit rude,” I sigh.

“Eh?!” Surprise clearly showing on her face.

“I mean, you just stole what I wanted to say,” I explain. “I mean, now everything I’m going to say is going to sound like I’m just copying you, right?”

“Huh? I mean, that is to say…” She babbles before growing silent.

“So, before you can steal anymore of my lines, let me say this clearly. Thank you for being there with me. You…really helped me out, and while it did hurt at times…well, the good times just overshadowed all of that didn’t they?”

“Y-yes,” She agreed. “Yeah, they were.”

Smiling, I took her into my hands and we started walking again.

“Though…now that I think about it, we do have another guardian angel over us, don’t we?”

“Y-yeah, we do.”

“She’s coming back pretty soon, isn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“…going to throw her a party?”

“The biggest one we can I guess.”

+++
Next Chapter
+++

Again, I'm never going to do this again. Way too hard for me and I don't really approve of the final product.

Anyways, please look forward to the next chapter.

Oh, one more thing, I was going to include a Kiss at the end...but it turns out I can't write a kiss scene without it being absolutely terrible. So imagine one there and be satisfied by it.
Last edited by tony246 on Sun May 27, 2012 11:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm not good with this sort of thing, so I"m just going to say it here:
Thank you, Four Leaf Studios.

That is all.
Dan50
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Re: The Road of Adulthood (Post Hanako Good End)

Post by Dan50 »

Yay Lilly good save haha and GREAT movie choice :D
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