Of Chocolate and Cupids

[themocaw]

"It's yet another cog in the feminist plan to dominate mankind by corrupting us with their feminist mind control tactics," Kenji claimed, taking another swig of his hot toddy. "Caffeine, after all, is a mind-altering drug, and excessive sugar can cause insulin shock. What is the real purpose of these feminists giving men all that chocolate on this day, huh?"

"I don't know. . . because it's an excuse for girls to show guys that they're interested in them? Anyway, if you ask me, White Day is the real feminist conspiracy. I mean, think about it. Isn't it weird that there's an entire holiday based around giving things to women?" I groused, pouring myself another mug of the hot whiskey-and-hot water mixture. I took a sip, enjoying the bite of the liquor mixed in with the cloves, cinnamon, lemon, and honey. Winter at Yamaku was bitterly cold, and the hot drinks helped keep us warm as we sat on the roof together, watching the wind blow through the bare trees. "Very suspicious, if you ask me."

"Nah. White Day is the day that the feminists test their mind control over their victims. It's Valentine's Day that's the real danger. I mean, think about it. No one expects you to give back on White Day unless you got gifts at Valentine's Day, right?"

"Right," I said.

"So basically, if they want to bankrupt one of our agents, they could do so by bombing him with tons of candy at Valentine's Day, right?"

"Right. I'm not sure what your point is."

"My point is. . . White Day is just the after-effect. It's the moment when the effects of the really dangerous moments hit," Kenji explained. "Trying to blame White Day for the harm caused by Valentine's Day is like. . . like. . . putting the locomotive behind the train!"

"Actually, you can do that. It's called putting the train in push mode. . ."

"My point is!" Kenji shouted, slamming his hot toddy back down onto our makeshift picnic table. "FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY! FUCK FEMINISTS! AND FUCK CHOCOLATE!"

"Sometimes, I wish I really had fallen off the roof at that damn festival," I sighed, and poured us both another drink.

-----

"Did you make this?" I asked, admiring the beautifully shaped candy heart in its tissue paper wrapping.

"Yes," Hanako said, timidly, smiling at me through the fringe of her hair. "I-I-I spent all night making this."

I grinned and broke off a big piece of the candy and popped it into my mouth. I coughed as the bitter taste overwhelmed me.

"Hisao? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing. . . nothing's wrong," I said, chewing determinidely and swallowing. "It's good!"

Hanako immediately stole a piece of the candy from me and ate it. She immediately looked green. "Oh. . . oh no," she sighed. "I b-b-bought unsweetened baking chocolate instead of sweet chocolate!"

"It's okay!" I insisted. "You worked so hard on it, I'll eat it!"

"Don't do that, it's t-t-terrible!" Hanako shouted. "Give it back to me, I'll make you something better!"

"It's okay, I want to keep it!"

"DAMMIT, JUST GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE, HISAO!" Hanako screamed.

"And that," I insisted, "is what you overheard last night, Lilly."

"Hisao," Lilly said, stirring milk and sugar into her tea, "I've already told you I don't care what kind of strange practices my friends are into. You don't need to lie to me."

I groaned and banged my forehead against the table. Lilly took a sip of her tea and smiled.

-----

"I feel sick."

"My teeth hurt."

"It's stuck in my hair."

"I'll never get these sheets clean."

"Oh god, it spilled onto the carpet. We're going to have to shampoo the entire thing."

"Not to mention the walls. We're going to have to scrub this entire room."

"Why, oh, why did I ever decide to listen to the track team captain again?"

"I don't know, but this is easily one of the least sexy things we've ever done."

"So. . . should we add 'chocolate body paint' to the list of things we're never doing again?"

"I think that's for the best."

-----

The chocolate is about the size of a dinner plate, and at first glance, it looks like a kitchen disaster come to life. I sit and stare at it for a long time, while Rin sits and stares at me. It's like a big train of staring, and the chocolate is the locomotive.

The outer portion of the chocolate is mostly dominated by slashing lines and chaotic swirls marked in white and milk chocolate over the dark chocolate base. Towards the center, however, the chaotic lines fade into clean, concentric circles that flow like water. At the very center of the chocolate are two images: a pair of massive arms wrapped around a mermaid-like figure.

My semester of Art Appreciation is useless to me now, but I think I understand.

I stand up and give Rin a hug. She sighs in relief and leans her head against my shoulder. "Chocolate is good for the heart," she says.

She's right.

-----

[Let's take a break,] Shizune signs to me. [I need a breath of fresh air.]

I sigh and stretch out my tired shoulders. With Misha out sick with the flu, Student Council work has ended up turning into long nights after class, calculating budgets and working out plans for graduation celebrations. We put on our coats and head up to the roof, where big, fat flakes of snow are falling in soft drifts, shrouding the bare gravel under a soft, white blanket.

Shizune wordlessly reaches into her jacket pocket and hands me a small gold box. Inside are a small assortment of expensive-looking chocolate truffles. I pick out one out and return the box to her. Shizune chooses a white chocolate one with milk chocolate swirls. We sit there together watching the snow fall over the school and the town, quietly munching our candy treats, as the cold nips at our ears and noses.

I finish up my caramel sweet and pick a second one from the box. This one turns out to be some kind of whipped raspberry creme. As I pick up a third, I feel a pressure on my right side. Shizune has fallen asleep and is resting her head on my shoulder. I take off her glasses for her and put them in my coat pocket, so they won't get damaged or dirty while she sleeps.

Happy Valentine's Day.

-----

"So now the little boy is sneaking in through the security checkpoint next to Rowan Atkinson," I said. "He's running through the metal detector now. . . he just jumped over the security guard and he's running across the shopping floor and down the hallway to the next terminal. . . GO SAM, GO!" I shouted.

"Tell me what's happening now!" Lilly insists.

"Oh. . . he's at the top of the escalators. . . he sees the little girl about to board the plane and shouts but she doesn't hear him. . . and back in Portugual with everyone walking down the street. And the old rock star is naked on the TV. . . everyone's distracted. . . he's jumping over the railing and running forward."

"Joanna," the dubbed voice of the little boy on the screen says.

"Oh no. He got caught by the cops," I say. "But the little girl came back, and she just kissed him on the cheek. And now he's running up to hug his father."

Lilly smiles happily. "And now what's happening?"

"We're back in Portugual now, and they're in the restaurant. The man is talking to the girl in Portuguese. . . he's not very good at it."

Lilly curls up next to me and snuggles up in my arms as I narrate the next scene in the movie we're experiencing together.

Hugh Grant is right: love actually is all around us.

-----

["Hiichaaaaan~!"] Misha calls out. ["Guess what I have for you?"]

["Is it chocolate?"] I ask.

["Of course it is. But it's just obligation-chocolate, because you're helping the Student Council,"] Misha says, tossing me a small white box. ["It's not because I like you or anything!"]

"Of course not," I laugh. I pop open the box and toss a few of the candies into my mouth. "So, did you finish collecting all the surveys from the third-years?"

["Yup!"] Misha says, as she sits down across from me and puts a stack of papers down on the desk. ["There's a lot to go through, and not much time to do it!"]

[You two stop flirting and get to work,] Shizune sighs.

["Don't be so uptight, Shiichan,"] Misha says. ["I have chocolate for you too!"] She tosses another box of candies to the Student Council President.

[You're only supposed to give these to boys, you know,] Shizune points out.

She opens the box and eats the candy anyway.

[advicefrog]

OH MY GOD NEW THEMOCAW FANFIC

[myshoesarebrown]

Okay, I'll bite. What's White Day? I refuse to google it, because Google is what feminists use to spy on us. I'll assume it's a foreign thing.

Unless I'm just that...

Out of the Loop.

[CNB]

Okay, I'll bite. What's White Day? I refuse to google it, because Google is what feminists use to spy on us. I'll assume it's a foreign thing.

In Japan, girls give chocolate to boys on Valentine's Day. On White Day (March 14) a boy who received chocolate is expected to give a (more expensive) gift in return.

[themocaw]

Okay, I'll bite. What's White Day? I refuse to google it, because Google is what feminists use to spy on us. I'll assume it's a foreign thing.

In Japan, girls give chocolate to boys on Valentine's Day. On White Day (March 14) a boy who received chocolate is expected to give a (more expensive) gift in return.

Then there's the Korean counter-version of the whole deal, "Black Day," April 14, where everyone who didn't have someone on Valentine's Day or White Day get together to eat noodles and commiserate.

[myshoesarebrown]

Okay, I'll bite. What's White Day? I refuse to google it, because Google is what feminists use to spy on us. I'll assume it's a foreign thing.

In Japan, girls give chocolate to boys on Valentine's Day. On White Day (March 14) a boy who received chocolate is expected to give a (more expensive) gift in return.

Then there's the Korean counter-version of the whole deal, "Black Day," April 14, where everyone who didn't have someone on Valentine's Day or White Day get together to eat noodles and commiserate.

...
Anyone wanna join me up on the roof on April 14th?

[VIVI]

me.
but actually i will give chocolate to myself. n_n bitter choco with berry.
(curiosly, choco is another altering drug...(theobromine) and Kenji is drinking Toddy, who have chocolate.)

[themocaw]

Added Hanako and Emi

Edit: Also added Rin.

[gecko]

Thanks!
I laughed so hard I think I woke up someone.
Except for Rin, it was too sweet.

[themocaw]

Thanks!
I laughed so hard I think I woke up someone.
Except for Rin, it was too sweet.

You're welcome.

Added Shizune.

[Otakumon]

"Hisao," Lilly said, stirring milk and sugar into her tea, "I've already told you I don't care what kind of strange practices my friends are into. You don't need to lie to me."

I groaned and banged my forehead against the table. Lilly took a sip of her tea and smiled.

OOOH, Lilly! Why you so mean, girl?

[Megumeru]

"DAMMIT, JUST GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE, HISAO!" Hanako screamed.

WIN. nuff said.

Rin's and Shizune's arc is enough to give me type 2 diabetes

[Bagheera]

Wait, nothing for Lilly? I liked seeing her harass Hisao, but still . . .

[themocaw]

Wait, nothing for Lilly? I liked seeing her harass Hisao, but still . . .

It's not done yet

[GG Crono]

I laughed. I cried. I d'awwwed.

...okay, so I didn't really cry, but the phrase sounds weird if I only did two things.

But seriously, those were all very sweet and/or lulzy. Nicely done.