Sensou no Tegami

[Megumeru]

Now all you need is an artist to give us some awesome future war pictures.

Haha I wish I could have that luxury. I'm open for interpretation, so anything is welcome.

Lilly's coming up prob. in a day or two. I have it all sorted out

[Megumeru]

Based on a certain art in the mishimmie
http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/v ... ch=shizune
(This story will take some liberal moves considering the KS universe. Bear with me)

Index
Prologue -Forgotten Memories-

Question Arcs
Resonance -Hakamichi no Tegami-
Memento -Ikezawa no Tegami-
Echoes -Satou no Tegami-
Cloudland -Tezuka no Tegami-
The Road Home -Ibarazaki no Tegami-

Answer Arcs
-Coming Soon-



Sensou no Tegami

Echoes
"Mrs. Satou, could you describe to us about your relations with 1st Lt. Akira Satou?"

"She is my older sister," I responded with as much formality as I could muster. "We grew up together, and ever since my graduation at Yamaku thirty years ago we've been in touch with one another through voice mail or--in some occasions--letters."

"Letters, Mrs. Satou?"

"Yes," I nodded, taking note of their observation. "I had my husband--Hisao Nakai--read them for me back then. That was..."

Taking a moment of silence, a sigh escaped my lips as I eased my figure on the seat. "...that was until he was conscripted. Since then, Hanako would help me on most daily chores."

"Ms. Ikezawa?"

"...Yes."

The sound that echoed that day still lingered in my mind like a broken record, continuously playing it over and over again which haunted me to this day. It was all around me; the cheers, celebrations, and glorification that greeted the coming manslaughter before it slowly ebbed away, replaced by remorse, grief, sadness, and regret as the conflict reached home. Having been born in a world filled with darkness, I could never fully perceived the horrors of war and the sights it presented to its participants and victims; having been recognized as legally blind doesn't mean I am unaware of the subject, as stories from the past revealed the unimaginable cruelty and terror committed by man towards one another. One doesn't need eyes to perceive and understand the insurmountable power and terror of a world war,

...nor was there a need for anyone to experience it.

I remembered when the war broke out--or at least when the news first reached us on January 1st of 2040. All around us were cheers of excitement, young men were heard shouting on the streets and in the television claiming it to be a 'liberating experience' or a new 'age of adventures'; I couldn't blame them, nor could I share their excitement. Most people, including some of my college colleagues and professors, saw the unfolding events to be inevitable as the world raced for its last remaining resources with nations forming pacts, alliances, and rivalries amongst one another. For Shizune, she saw it as another form of world-class competition--and I do hope she was being humorous at the time considering the amount of alcohol I was told she consumed on my wedding party.

But for us--the Satous--we were conflicted upon where we were supposed to stand.

Legally and by law of marriage, I would be standing on the side of the Pan-Asian Alliance--a coalition of Asian nations spanning from Japan up to the South-East Indies and as far as the borders of India and Pakistan. Most of my family, however, would stand on the side of the Greater European Union. My family--especially my parents--dearly wished for Akira and I to return to Scotland and pledge our loyalty towards the GEU, which I kindly rejected after having considered the status of my husband--Hisao, his citizenship, and my own standings. Soon after, Akira gave her answer and we cut the last family ties we had across the sea; it wasn't until 2046 that I managed to learn about their unfortunate fate.

I could never share their sentiments towards the war.

When the war was first declared on November 22nd of 2039, the world was operating with a strictly regulated pact in consideration of the exhaustion of the last few natural resources. It was an incentive first proposed by the now-defunct United Nations to share and divide the last few remaining resources equally as a momentary solution before the 'ascension'--a proposal made by space-capable nations to expand our reach into the stars in search for resources. Yet it was never that easy to maintain such a naïve outlook on a crumbling human society fueled with frequent famines, proxy wars, and crises; Shizune told me on our last outing together about--according to Misha's translation--the inevitable outcome of this 'alliance' and 'pacts' which often placed greater nations in a position of advantage towards the others. With population at its peak, Japan also required a substantial increase to what was regulated by the United Nation, in which Shizune mentioned how reasons of 'survival' could easily influence the Diet in favor of a 'resource war'; other countries apparently shared similar sentiments according to news broadcasts that aired five months before.

"It's all coming together Lilly," Misha translated. Her bubbly voice remained unchanged for as long as I remember. "I may not buy the propa--prop-a--prop-a-gandist ideas our government spew concerning the need for us to conquer for resources, but the fact remains that we need it. I don't entirely support such brash measures, but if it gets us where it needs us to then I have no complaints!"

"Well, that's Shii-chan for ya'!" she let out a small laughter, so I believe Misha herself had no objections towards the idea.

"Mrs. Satou," called one of the voices. Once again, their obscure approach toward my well-being caught me off-guard. "We would like to question you considering the letters you received respectively from 1Lt. Akira Satou and Cpl. Hisao Nakai. Is it alright with you if we start with the former?"

I gave my nod of approval toward the 'Echoes'.

"Our records indicated that 1st Lt. Satou was in service with the Japanese 22nd Infantry Company, first deployed in the Pacific Isles on February 10th of 2040. Are there any letters dated as far back as it is?"

"Yes, I have them with me."

-------------

As I told them my story, I began to recall the events that took place before she left for the front. Ever since the forming of alliances in 2037, Akira had eagerly enlisted into the military and was training ever since until her deployment on February of 2040; at some point, I believe this was her way of showing independence and defiance towards our parents over in Scotland. Hisao was with me most of the time, giving me a hand on daily chores in the morning before commuting to work at Yamaku High as a science teacher and returning late in the evening to spend his time with me--bless his soul. Before then, I would spend my hours commuting with Hanako to a local junior school as an English teacher and she as my assistant.

She was a novelist, mind you. But when she wasn't cooped up in her apartment writing, she would spend her time assisting me and Hisao to the best of her ability; to us, she was an extended family member.

Akira's deployment came as no surprise to any of us on February 8th of 2040. By then, she was already known by her colleagues--which I had the fortune to spend our last dinner together with--as First Lieutenant Satou of the Japanese 22nd Infantry Division. I couldn't entirely describe the situation back then, but from the voices and the emotions that circulated across the dining table was the sense of pride, honor, and anxiety with a hint of jubilee that remained up until the last bottle of alcohol--courtesy of Akira's connections. The next morning, I was awoken by her voice calling over what I assumed to be her military radio. A few minutes later, with a quick hug and a kiss on my forehead, she set off and left the house for the front.

"So you have been receiving letters from her ever since?"

I nodded politely. "It was the best gift a sibling could have asked for during those times of trouble."

There were murmurs and whispers, a few slaps and flicks on papers and notes, and then a brief momentary silence. "Did she ever describe the situation at the front? Were there hints or details like that?"

"There were," I smiled a little, taking note of their interest. "Although Hisao did mention there were possible alterations in accordance with the military censorship law, she did manage to leave a few hints here and there. Shall I continue?"

For four years, Akira would send us letters detailing her exploits on the front which we would wait for and often reply to. The Battle of Guadalcanal, for one, gave her quite a distinction judging by a medal she said to have received for 'acts of valor and courage under intense enemy fire'. She described the battle to be a series of short, jungle skirmishes, patrols, and raids followed with intense aerial bombardments on GEU positions scattered across the island. Furthermore, she would often describe the faces of the men and women that served in her platoon to be 'the youngest bad-asses she had ever seen'; I may not approve of her humor in the field, but I couldn't help but smile when Hisao attempted to mimic her when he read the letters.

The next few letters, however, weren't as lighthearted as the last.

It contained details I believe best left omitted or censored by the military; yet it also contained emotions, rants, and her testimony of the cruelty she saw on the front line. Her letters often included cleverly disguised confessions--a feat she couldn't pull in audio logs--of her overwhelming fear for their safety, and her grief each time she lost a man or a woman due to enemy fire or accidents. She often managed to leave strings of details that gave me a murky background of the situation she was experiencing each day as I spent them within the comfort zone of my country and my home. Hisao would often attempt to omit the details himself, but I could always tell each time he did so; and it pained me even more when I learned them through Hanako or himself. And then it stopped coming...

"When was the last letter you received from her, Mrs. Satou?"

"March 25th, 2043."

There were shuffles of paper and whispers, then a brief silence followed with a barely-audible 'huff' from one of the 'Echoes'--a cigarette, perhaps. "We learned that 1st Lieutenant Satou served in the Japanese 22nd Infantry Division, and if our records were accurate she was in the Korean Peninsula at that time."

Indeed she was. Her last letter detailed the transfer of her company from the Pacific-Australian Front towards the Siberian Front, where the GEU led by the Russians finally made a breakthrough into Korea. By this time, Hisao was conscripted, and I had been spending most of my time with Hanako due to my pregnancy. She never gave any specifics or clues regarding the transfer of her company, let alone anything regarding her mission or objective; what she did manage to describe in her letter was the overwhelming task given to her platoon, which was officially regarded as 'top secret' followed by her own will and testament. Unlike her previous letters, Hanako told me the intensity of omitted materials and censorship her last letter seemed to hold, though she wasn't sure of it herself.

That was the last time I heard from Akira, or any news regarding the famed Japanese 22nd Infantry Division.

"Mrs. Satou, our records indicated that the first use of 'Nova Warhead' took place in the Korean Peninsula on June 2nd of 2043. We suspect she may have perished in the initial blast and..."

...

...perished?

...

...Akira has perished...?

"E-excuse me, but what do you mean by..."

"The records of the war in the Korean Peninsula indicate the first initial use of the Nova-class warhead. Considering the data that we have at the moment, her entire company may have been engulfed in the..."

I see...so that's what it has come to be, Akira. I shouldn't have hoped too much...

Those words hit me like the crushing sound of trees that are snapped to pieces, or the loud 'crack' that echoes when glass is shattered. My mind refused to admit such blasphemy as it began to omit the words of these 'Echoes' and wished for them to disappear from the depths of my mind. For seven years I have waited for her return; seven years waiting in anxiety wishing she would knock on the door of our apartment, bringing with her that optimistic character that defined her as the Akira I knew. One year after the end of the war, and still there was no word given to us from the newly-appointed Federation Military concerning her whereabouts and now...

...now, even if I knew that she had perished in the line of duty I refused to believe it. Sometimes, 'letting go' is always the hardest when you are close to that person.

"Mrs. Satou, should I get someone to help you?"

"...is this what it's all about," I ask, feeling the moisture building up on my eyes. "So all these letters you were looking for are your means of identifying lost servicemen in the war?"

"It's part of our objective, maam. I know this is hard for you, but please bear with us; the Federation will compensate you for your cooperation."

"I see..."

What about Hisao? Despite him legally recognized to have chronic arrhythmia, the 'old world' government 'graciously' granted him the necessary cure for his disability two months before his conscription. As if the devil made a joke out of my life, the two persons I cared about most were taken away from me to fight and die in a war we should have never involved ourselves in. I grew weak, the thought of losing Hisao was enough to send me to the brink of sanity and question the need to live.

"...what about Hisao? Is my husband...he served in the Japanese 55th Mechanized Infantry. Is he..."

"As of now, we are still uncertain of the condition of your husband. Currently, he is listed as MIA in our records but we will be sure to inform you once we've discovered his whereabouts," there was a shuffle, a whisper, and a confirmation. "We believe his last theater of operation was somewhere on the Russian Front in the February of 2045. Our records indicate a high number of POWs taken from the Japanese 55th Mechanized Infantry after the disastrous 'Battle of Trans-Siberia', and as of now there are still POW camps that have yet to be discovered or left forgotten by the GEU scattered across Russia and Europe. We hope you understand our situation, we are stretched thin as it is."

I eased my mind a little, sighing in contemplation of this predicament. Akira was one thing, but losing Hisao was a different story altogether; it was something I refused to believe. "Speaking about your husband, could you tell us about his letters?"

-------------

When the word of Hisao's conscription reached us on February 7th of 2043, Hanako had voluntarily commuted from her town to Yamaku as a favor for him. Despite my protests about the unnecessary trouble we put Hanako into, the persistence of my husband and his persuasion were commendable in light of the situation. That day, he gave me a locked pendant with a matching key which he would carry at all times as a 'charm'. The pendant is copper in color, e no bigger than a pocket watch but when opened, it plays a distinctive melody akin to that music box I received from him years ago. That pendant also served as a promise for both of us that no matter how far we were going to be separated, we would one day be reunited as one. Two days later, on the morning of February 9th 2043, Hisao left home and never returned.

His letters came in similar intervals to Akira's before she ceased to reply for reasons unknown to me at that time. Like Hisao before her, Hanako would read the letters from both my husband and Akira whenever they arrived while she tended to my needs as the day I was going to give birth to our daughter drew closer. Hisao's letters were mostly filled with questions of concern regarding our well-being back at home, to which I always told him "not to worry" as Japan was 'untouched' and 'unfazed' by the war that had engulfed the world. Sometimes, he mentioned his involvement on the Korean Peninsula and later in early 2044, the Russian Front. Most of the time, though, he asked about our daughter who was born on June 26th of 2043. For every letter he sent, a burden seemed to have been lifted from my shoulders. Sadly, this only lasted for half a year before...

...

"Mrs. Satou?"

I couldn't bring myself to continue. A part of me believed that the letters stopped coming in part due to my own negligence in a world overwhelmed with chaos, yet another wished to blame Hisao for his lack of responsibility in maintaining that promise; I couldn't blame him, nor could I blame myself in such situation. I puckered my lips, taking short, deep breaths in between so as not to break down into tears as I tried to remember the sounds that resonated within me since that day.

"...before the firebombing of Sendai," I replied. "His last letter came on June 1st of 2044, two days before the firebombing. I never had the chance to reply to him, nor did I receive any since."

"Firebombing?"

"I was uncertain of it myself, but what Hanako described that day was how it all began with a 'flash in the distance' followed with a shockwave. She said we were lucky to have been located outside the radius at the time; the city center was said to be obliterated, with some buildings still on fire."

There was something off about it, however. I couldn't tell exactly, but it lacked the sound that often accompanied any life-threatening raid on civilian centers. "There's...something lacking. I'm not sure though..."

"Please try to remember the details, Mrs. Satou. We know it would be difficult for you, but every bit of information will help us in the long run."

I paused, setting my hand on my chin as I tried to come up with an answer. "Sirens--it lacked any air-raid sirens, nor the sounds of jet fighters above."

"Could it be missiles, maam?"

"I don't know...we were told that we use the same siren in case of any missile threats; even then, our defense systems were said to be capable of stopping them mid-air."

"So you have no clue on what it is except from the sound it gave away...which it didn't?"

"...yes."

There was a chuckle from one of the 'Echoes', a short conversation between one of them--too timid to be audible, and a rant from another. It was possibly just my imagination, but the voice of that rant sounded vaguely similar to that boy I once knew back in Yamaku High. Still, I let it slide as they began their next set of questions.

"Could you tell us what happened on June 3rd of 2044, Mrs. Satou? How did you manage to survive?"

As Hanako had mentioned, we were lucky to have survived the firebombing--or whatever it was that burned the city and our home. It was like any ordinary morning; I woke up to the sound of the alarm, made my way to little Hikari's crib, tended to her while Hanako fixed the bed and breakfast, took a shower, and then we set off to the junior school located just outside of town, with Hanako behind the steering wheel at around 6AM. We usually arrived thirty to fifteen minutes early before the start of homeroom. By then, Hanako would have full responsibility over my daughter while she spent her time as my assistant.

It was around noon that I felt a turbulence which I initially believed to be an earthquake, but was soon corrected by one of my students when he mentioned the 'bright light' that flashed in what he said to be the center of town. I quickly asked of them to hide under the tables while Hanako with Misaki in tow guided me to a corner of the room--a standard earthquake procedure--until it stopped. Then, the principal announced the grave news through the PA system announcing that the town was hit by the GEU and the Home Guard was currently working on evacuating and rounding survivors to Yamaku High in fear of a second strike; school was officially cancelled, and we were then led by what Hanako described to be a 'quick-responding Home Guard'. She held on to my right hand, my left cradling little Hikari in her blanket as we walked to a transport provided by the Home Guard with my students.

Mrs. Nakai! Look over here please," we met Miki, an old acquaintance from Yamaku High; surprisingly enough, she took up freelance reporting as her career. "Ready for your five seconds of fame?"

A few days later, I heard her photo made front-page for the 'Bombing of Sendai'; in a year's time, it was said to be the image which sparked the massive support for the 'Federation' and its recruitment in Japan. Hanako, my daughter and I were now amongst the hundreds of students now considered 'refugees' where we could wait out the rest of the war in the countryside of Hokkaido. I refused such treatment, however, and decided to use my summer house as a refuge for the three of us. I never had the chance to reply to Hisao, nor did I receive any of his letters as we were virtually cut-off from any means of communication to the outside aside from radio broadcasts and newspapers which Hanako kindly read for me. We would never again be touched by the war until the end of it, on March of 2046.

"Is there anything that you may have learned concerning your husband's whereabouts? What he said in his last letter? Or anything about the 'Bombing of Sendai' or the 'weapon'?"

"Could we have an audience with your friend, Ms. Ikezawa? Her participation in this would benefit us greatly."

The last questions asked by the 'Echoes' felt slightly odd, as if it was all just a cloak for the real purpose of these men. From their voices alone, I could tell they were much more interested to what happened to Yamaku that day when the firebombing started and less about what my husband and the rest of the servicemen went through. I couldn't pinpoint their exact standing however--not yet. For now, they all felt like 'Echoes' of a voice greater than what they said to have represent.

"Hanako is busy at the moment," I replied with the intention of rejecting their offer. "But when she's available, I'll consider telling her about the request."

"We thank you for your cooperation on this subject, maam. Do you still have the letter of both 1st Lt. Satou and Cpl. Nakai?"

I reached for my purse and began to feel its contents before pulling a handful of rectangular shape envelopes. Seconds later, the snap of a finger echoed in the auditorium which signaled the thumping sound of boots to the wooden stage that closed in from both sides. Promptly, they took the letters and disappeared as fast as they came, once again leaving me alone with the 'Echoes'.

"We're satisfied with your participation in this interview, Mrs. Satou. If there is anything we could do, or if there is anything you could provide to help us we would gladly appreciate it."

"It is my pleasure," I replied, standing up from my seat and extending my cane. "Now then, I shall take my leave."

"Do you need any escort, maam?"

I raise my hand and kindly rejected their offer as I make my way towards the exit and out to the new world.

-------------

A rush of cold wind greeted me as I stepped outside. Unlike the auditorium, the outside atmosphere was far more relaxing and comforting despite the cold that breeze around me. My cane began reaching further, identifying a sudden drop in elevation which reminded me of the stairs that had greeted me when I first came here a few hours ago. Slowly but steadily, I made my way down the stairs and waited.

"L-Lilly!"

The familiar voice of Hanako drew my attention, and I immediately turned to the direction of the footsteps that grew louder and louder. Seconds later, I sensed the presence of another familiar figure with Hanako. "Ara? Is Hikari with you?"

"Mama!"

Retracting my cane, I gave a smile and a sigh of relief as I extended my left hand to feel her before carefully taking her over from Hanako who gladly obliged. She twirled and adjusted herself to find comfort in me, her hand wandering and feeling my facial features before stopping at the pendant that dangled around my neck. Playfully, she shook and twirled it before cheerfully nibbling at it and calling it over and over,

"Papa! Papa!"

...

Hisao...where are you?

I originally believed that coming here to participate in this interview would finally lay my case to rest. It had been a year since the war ended, and even if he did perish in battle the military and the newly-coined Federation had not given any words concerning his whereabouts. The sudden change in atmosphere was quickly noticeable to little Hikari calling the pendant Hisao gave me 'papa'; for what I had taught her, the pendant represented him until his return. Hanako rested her hand gently on my shoulder and began searching for the right word to approach this topic as lightly as she could tread.

"So...h-how did it go?"

I shook my head, "Their records list him as 'missing'. As of now, they still haven't discovered his whereabouts."

"Lilly, I-I don't think it's healthy for you to be too preoccupied with the past; I believe Hisao w-w-would think the same...so...!"

"Hanako," stopping her mid-sentence, I shook my head. "I also believe that is what he wished for."

"Lilly..."

"But...it's not right. I know him as the person who would put forth others before him, a kind and caring individual who thinks of others more than himself."

"But if I am not going to wait for his return," a smile form on my lips, granting a light chuckle from little Hikari. "Then who will?"

I trace the small figure of my daughter, finding the pendant she was toying with and held out my open palm with a smile asking for its return. She giggled and handed me the pendant, and I gave her a big hug as a reward. Do you see, Hisao? Our daughter has taken her first few steps in this world as a kind, understanding, and intelligent young girl; I knew you would be proud of her.

I held the pendant tight, faceing Hanako based on the origin of her voice. "This pendant is our bond, our promise to one another that no matter how far apart we were separated we will always be connected as one."

"As the proud wife of Hisao Nakai," I clutch the pendant tight. With Hanako as my support and the laughter of my daughter as my resolve, there is nothing for me to fear. Until that time when they announce his whereabouts, or when he is returned home in a casket,

No matter how long it takes...

"I shall wait for him for as long as I have to."



Fin - Satou no Tegami

Author's Note
I should never underestimate deadlines...

*Full-blown editing and correction (credit to Mirage_GSM). Now ver. 1.05

[Mirage_GSM]

Her reaction to Akira's deathseems way over the top. Letters suddenly stop coming, and she hasn't heard from her in over seven years, and the thought she might be dead never once crossed her mind?
Also, your grammar has taken a turn for the worse since the last chapter. You're switching between tenses a lot and some tenses are wrong altogether.

[Megumeru]

Her reaction to Akira's deathseems way over the top. Letters suddenly stop coming, and she hasn't heard from her in over seven years, and the thought she might be dead never once crossed her mind?
Also, your grammar has taken a turn for the worse since the last chapter. You're switching between tenses a lot and some tenses are wrong altogether.

When the military (or the army responsible in each country) are pretty much not sending any news regarding the livelihood of someone who served in the front to be alive or dead, they listed them as 'MIA' or 'Missing'. It's pretty much in the air, and if it's your brother, cousin, parents, etc. out there who has been missing for years, you'd be keeping your hopes up for as long as you can. Even if the thought of her dead even once crossed your mind, would you wish for your sibling/parent/cousin to have died?

And I think you misread some parts. She went to service in 2040, and Lilly was waiting for her for seven years--that is 2047, one year after the end of the war. Her last letter came in 2043 before she went 'dark', so I'd say her reaction and positive outlook on reality is pretty legit as far as it goes.

yeah I'll edit the text again...later. Unless of course, there's anyone out there willing to be an editor but I should not bother anyone with it

[Mirage_GSM]

So it's been only four years since her letters suddenly ceased just as she was heading towards the frontlines^^°
Yes, you can continue to hope, but those grey guys basically go "We think she might be dead" and Lilly goes "WHAT? I never even thought that was what might have happened!"
Regarding the editing... Drop me a PM with your email, and I'll see what I can do.

[Megumeru]

So it's been only four years since her letters suddenly ceased just as she was heading towards the frontlines^^°
Yes, you can continue to hope, but those grey guys basically go "We think she might be dead" and Lilly goes "WHAT? I never even thought that was what might have happened!"
Regarding the editing... Drop me a PM with your email, and I'll see what I can do.

My first attempt with Lilly's response made her seemed a bit...cold. I did considered that, but it just seemed like she gave Akira the cold shoulder, and went more like 'oh, she died...I see'. I couldn't really see her break-down and cry that easily on stage, so I attempted to give her a more...say..."shocked but still saddened" kinda' feel; I do have to agree at some point that she seemed to have overdone it. Might edit that part again later...maybe

On that editing offer, I'll take it.
You sure you're ok with it? I do realize my grammar is pretty pathetic as it is, so you might have quite a hand in it.



Working on Rin's next. Deadline uncertain

[Megumeru]

Based on a certain art in the mishimmie
http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/post/v ... ch=shizune
(This story will take some liberal moves considering the KS universe. Bear with me)

Index
Prologue -Forgotten Memories-

Question Arcs
Resonance -Hakamichi no Tegami-
Memento -Ikezawa no Tegami-
Echoes -Satou no Tegami-
Cloudland -Tezuka no Tegami-
The Road Home -Ibarazaki no Tegami-

Answer Arcs
-Coming Soon-



Sensou no Tegami

Cloudland

People say that a painting is worth more than a thousand words. They believe it, the critics do, and so are the men and women who're keen on asking me these questions about 'inspiration', 'motivation', and 'ideas' every so often when my paintings are published in a gallery. They say it is rare for them to find such talent and freshness in an abstract painting in this modern day and age; especially if it was painted by someone who is armless. Is it wrong for me to paint without arms? Van Gogh painted without his left ear but nobody complained, so I don't think it's wrong for me to paint without arms--I don't believe there's a law that forbids me to do so, as far as I can remember from my college courses anyway. Wow, when I think about it again, it kinda' sound like an insult telling me that 'I can't paint because I have no arm'. Anyway, should I believe that a painting is worth more than a thousand words? I don't know, you tell me whether or not I should believe it. If they are really worth more than a thousand words, then we'd be speaking in rainbows. How do you speak rainbows anyway?

I paint because I want to.

Inspirations? They're everywhere. Motivations? Because I want to. Simple, nothing too complicated or abstract for most people; clouds alone are enough--they're interesting, drifting along without care in the world like snails. I wonder if they actually taste like snails sometimes. Why do I assume they taste like snails? They look like one when bundled together, floating high up in the sky moving ever so slowly; doesn't it remind you of one? Speaking of which, that cloud I always follow had vanished for sometime...I wonder where it went...?

"Mrs. Tezuka, can we please have your attention?"

Oh, right. I was in the middle of an interview with these people from the newly-appointed 'Federation'. Recently, they called and asked me about the 'bundle of Hisao' I have collected through the years of conflict. If you are wondering what these 'bundles' are, they are letters from my late-husband who perished at the frontline a year ago--bless his soul. Surprising enough, the next thing they asked me was whether or not I am 'the'--emphasize on 'the'--Rin Tezuka who painted the now-famous 'Sendai'. I was known as 'Tezuka: the Armless Painter' or the 'Miracle Artist'; funny since I've read somewhere that there were others like me before who drew pretty well--if not better. I gave a 'yes', and the next thing I knew they sent a representative to escort me to the new 'Federal Headquarters' for this interview--they did mentioned I would be compensated, so I don't mind. Sometimes I don't understand my own paintings--'Sendai' is one of them, and reasons may vary through different perspective or a certain point of view. Critics and art historians who commented on it often reflect upon my mental state at the time, since it was painted a few weeks after I received the news of his death, while others commented on my disapproval of the war. It did become something big, something they describe as the '21st century Guernica'.

Mind you, I based it on a photograph Miki gave me, the mess my daughter made in the kitchen, and the breakfast Emi fixed for me. I still remember them--it was toast and egg with peas. Peas are bad though, they're hard to keep in the fork.

"Mrs. Tezuka!"

"Oh! Right, right...yes?"

"Could you please maintain your focus? We are under a tight deadline, and the last thing we need are your incessant ramblings about 'clouds' or 'bundles'!"

"But," I need to shift my chair a little, it's asymmetrical to the stage. That's bad. Being asymmetrical is just bad. "I thought you were looking for my 'bundles of Hisao'."

The 'shadowmen'--as I like to call them for their shady-ish responses--exchanged glances before starting idle talk; some of them seemed to be too preoccupied with their notepad. I like these guys, they're funny for trying to give an impression of something they are not to be. It's almost like I'm in a convention full of those people from some random spy flick doing all that secret-stuff they're good at doing, and I somehow stumbled upon them and am now held captive for holding something they wanted. Wow, it'll be really cool if it went like that...

too bad it's just an interview.

"Mrs. Tezuka, we would like to have your cooperation once again if you don't mind."

"Ok, where should I start?"

"Please start describing with as much detail as possible of your history with those...'bundles'."

"How far?"

The 'shadowman' sighed. "As far as you see fit, Mrs. Tezuka."

-------------

'Bundles. Came in symmetrical rectangular size, brown in color, some dyed with coffee stains, some smudged with water, and some were stamped by military officials. All filled with love. They're unique, personal, sometimes mushy, but I like the way he wrote them with thought and care--that's when Hisao is at his 'Hisao-est' when he is not beside me. I wouldn't exactly describe them as letters, more like drabbles of someone with a heart condition who was accidentally drafted and was praying to be sent home after the military realized this mistake; of course, that wouldn't happen after the government was kind enough to treat his heart condition permanently with a cure and a little touch of modern science--although I still think there are some problem in his pants, too bad they didn't treat that. Couldn't blame him. I could blame modern science though.

...maybe I should.

Hisao was my lighthouse, my port in the storm, and my lamppost. 'Lamppost', you ask? When it's dark, you tend to hang around a lamppost, so that's a pretty legitimate explanation. We were married on February 29th 2040--awesome leap year, settled in Inawashiro in Fukushima--awesome lake view, and had a daughter on May 5th 2041--awesome life. I spent my time painting--don't get me started on 'why'--and checking Rei's crib. Cooking was out of the question; we had Hisao to handle that or Emi if she dropped by once in awhile. I tried it once. It tasted like paint mixed with fermented yoghurt and cheese. That's bad. Hisao liked it though, so there might be something wrong with his taste buds. I didn't mind his reaction, but I am not doing it again--cooking, I mean. No kitchen jokes for me.

Then came his departure.

I can still picture the events of that day, down to what he had for breakfast, what I was doing, and the officers that came--one of them has a face that reminded me of Kerotan frog dolls. They came in, greeted us formally, offered Hisao and me a chance to 'start a-new', flashed the contract, then told Hisao that he had no other choice but to accept the offer. I wouldn't say they were exactly generous, but they were kind enough to have offered him the heart augmentation so he could function normally. Normally as 'within the requirements of the military'. The military is okay, they are there to protect us. But serving in one under a short leash is bad. Being a dog of the military is bad. Hisao didn't really have much of a choice, so he complied and left for his augmentation and training on January 25th of 2042. I made a painting, and if the scholars were saying it was based on my emotions at the time they were partially correct--the rest were based on Rei's diaper and some cloud observations. I should give Emi some credit too for that accidental spill. Now that I remember, that cloud was still around back then, only further than usual.'

"So since then, your friend Emi--Ms. Ibarazaki in our records--acted as your assistant?"

I gave a quick nod. "She couldn't visit 80--maybe 90 percent of the time though. Emi is 'Emi-est' when she is busy running around chasing kids around the track."

"What exactly is her profession...? Our database says..."

"Coach. She's a coach," I think that is her job the last time she took me along. I could see her working as a waitress though, those uniforms are cute. "And that's where Miki snuggled in."

-------------

'Miki Miura. A graduate of Yamaku High, freelance reporter, Emi's close friend, and my other source of inspiration and contact to the outside world. Quite an interesting individual--feisty too. When Emi isn't around and Hisao is busy out there solving problems, Miki often drops by carrying news--sometimes big enough to fill an elephant for a day. She brings photos, notes, and often her own stories of the home front ranging from local to national; often it became the next topic or inspiration for my painting. Speaking of which, is it right to call the enemy 'problems'? They're probably just doing what they were told to do.

Whatever.

She is an interesting character. Despite having lost her left hand, she gets along pretty well around the house when I'm busy working on the paintings. What? I'm not supposed to be impressed considering...

...

oh, right...

Anyway, her cooking is sub-par though, so I always tell her to keep a safe distance from the kitchen and order to take-away Chinese food. That is not a kitchen joke. Well, I don't think it is anyway. Aside from that, Miki would always bring me some materials I could use for my next painting. More often than not, I would ask her to bring home a couple photos of the clouds, the city, the sea, and some trees--trees are good, they're green and fresh. Dandelions are better though, since they can fly. Still, I don't get why she keeps making that 'face' every time I ask her for it.

At least I don't think there's anything wrong with a few pictures of clouds, trees, and water.

By mid-2043, I have collected a substantial amount of letters by Hisao earning it the name 'Bundles of Hisao'. Rei was two years old at this point and was often laughing at that weird flower Emi brought with her to 'spice up the living room'. Rei was right though, the flower did look funny--kinda' reminded me of Yuuko at some point when the head went up and down or swung from left to right. Interesting. But on the otherhand, Emi had stopped visiting when she was needed to be the 'supervisor' of a field trip up north to Hokkaido--she won't be returning until late 2046 though. I guess the field trip earned her an 'extended leave'. But because of this, Miki became my 'un'-official guardian and caretaker--it used to be Hisao, but his letters stopped coming.'

"Maam, if we could stop you for a second..."

I twitched my eyebrow. The 'Shadowman' continued, "So it is true that you used his name in the survey made by the 'old world' government considering the 'guardian and caretaker' for the crippled--no offense. How is that..."

"His physical presence is unnecessary," I straighten my back and sit upright. "Just as arms are not necessary for my paintings, so is his physical presence in our life. His letters alone signify that he is 'here' with me and my daughter watching over us as the official guardian and caretaker of the Nakai family--Tezuka, if you use my surname. His thoughts, feelings, and love are conveyed through his writing, and that weighs greater than the presence of a thousand Hisaos."

...actually, a thousand Hisaos wouldn't be too bad. It might get troublesome when all of them started having heart-flutters. That is bad.

"I see...then Mrs. Tezuka, please continue."

His letters stopped coming. I painted for a week after the official news came home; I guess the critics and professors weren't too far off from their guesswork when I think about it. In that time, I produced three paintings--the first few which were granted 'titles' or 'names' amongst hundreds I've created so far. Attachment, maybe? 'Frontline', 'The Lost', and 'Tears' were my first few anti-war paintings--later on, 'Insecurity' and 'Sendai' followed suite which often garnered praise from many and enough criticism from government officials for its lack of patriotism. Patriotism itself is subjective in this matter; I think it is anyway. Is it patriotic to die for your country whose objectives were as murky as clam chowder or as random as clouds? Clouds are random. They're interesting because of that. Politics are random, but that doesn't make it interesting.

...

Scratch that, they're not as random as clouds since they're not as interesting as one.

Maybe my mind was clouded, or it could be because of how I felt at the time reading the official announcement over and over again--that was a mistake solely on my behalf. But in that time, I created three paintings: 'Frontline, 'The Lost', and 'Tears'. I based 'Frontline' on one of Hisao's memorable letters concerning his experience on the Korean Front--a first for me. It was a simple painting of a man on his knees clutching a picture of his family which was waiting for him back home--as simple as it is, people still interpret it differently and often cited its 'dark colors' and 'mysterious figure'. Oh well, artists are never meant to be understood anyway. There was a time when I was looking for our photo album in our attic; it was dark, uncertain, and perked with the feeling of lost--especially if that flashlight you're carrying in your mouth fell to the floor and shattered to pieces. Add a little codeine in the formula after you bump your head earlier that day, and you have what 'The Lost' is based off. Nothing more nothing less. The Critics and professors can say otherwise for its dark contrast and color, but it is what it is--I made it after all. 'Tears' is personal--it is the only painting I created with my daughter, Rei, helping me by my side. I won't go into details on it. Whatever I said it is won't reach any of them--colleagues, professors, critics. None. For it to be as I created it to be, I rather not hear anything related to 'it'.

Now that I think about it, that cloud I used to follow dissipated into rain on that day too.

"So where does Miki Miura fit in this?"

"I thought we're talking about my 'bundle of Hisao'."

"If it is related to the subject, Mrs. Tezuka, it's best if we hear it."

"I don't see why it is related to the subject."

The 'Shadowmen' murmured to one another, sighed, and tapped their pencils and pens to their notepads. I don't see anything wrong with my comment, but I don't like where this is going. "Mrs. Tezuka, based on your responses we think that you are a close acquaintance of Ms. Miura. IF she has anything to do with you and your family's lives during the war, please tell us."

"More specifically," interrupts one of the 'Shadowmen' sitting obscured in the back, his glasses glinting with the reflection of the stage light. Really cool. Really mysterious. "What she has to do with your last painting--the 'Sendai'. We would be most interested to hear it from the artist herself."

So I shrug, I guess they have a point. Maybe.

-------------

Within that one week of self-isolation and painting, Miki Miura would often visit and keep the house in a livable condition; more often than not she would take care of Rei or pop my bubble every time she intruded into my room with my daughter cradled on her arms. Every so often she would leave Rei in the room with me and give me the slap-in-the-face reminder that I am a mother as well as an artist. I should thank her for that. Anyway, she would often carry with her a handful of news from the homefront--sometimes with bonus pictures and photos from her reflex camera too. Of the photos she brought home, two caught my interest--the aftermath of Saitama on May 24th 2044 and the Ground Zero of Sendai on June 3rd 2044.

Saitama, the first case of attack on the home island, happened on May 22nd 2044 when official reporters whom Miki was in contact with reported that the baddies launched a firestorm missile and fire-bombed the city. I knew a friend over in Saitama, a novelist that goes by the name 'Ikezawa', very timid but can get really scary if you step on her foot--metaphorically speaking. I haven't heard from her since, so I assume she didn't survive.

...

I know I shouldn't make jokes about fire concerning her, but I can't help it. Sometimes.

Miki's photograph was taken two days after the bombing, and by then there were reporters and Home Guard units said to have wandered around--I heard there were scavengers too. I'd love to get in touch with one of them sometime, maybe they found something interesting. For the most part, the city was off-limits to most so she never managed to capture a lot aside from the refugees that survived--that is what I based 'Insecurity' on. Miki told me she couldn't get into the center of the city either since the Home Guard told her of the danger of collapsing rubble and whatnot.

Sendai was different.

Maybe it was rotten luck, but I also knew a friend in Sendai who worked as an English teacher. Not to mention she was blind, so I would have had to clap my hands for her--if I had had any. Unlike Saitama, Miki was on-the-scene when it happened. She said she was on her way for an errand with her--Satou, the 'English teacher'--when it happened. She told me that, with the instinct of a field reporter, she decided to drive through into the ruins and took a few photos--a number of particularly interesting photos of the 'Ground Zero' reached me two days later. It was interesting, almost abstract. Almost.

Within a few kilometers from the center of the explosion there were 'shadow imprints' left by whatever was standing there when the blast happened. Take a few more kilometers, and there were statues--Miki said they were carbon statues of what used-to-be persons. She said it looked brittle, so she refused to meddle with it any further. These 'statues' similarly left 'shadow imprints'--but what was more interesting were the shadows itself. Whatever was behind these charred statue were physically unscathed, pristine, left without a scratch from the blast. Miki took a few photos of them--a really-really good example of one is a living cat found behind a badly charred low-wall. Maybe it was saved by the shadow? Not sure. Still, that was just part of what I based 'Sendai' on, it's not even up to the more interesting part.

The most interesting part is when you took that walk from there to the border of the city.

I based most of 'Sendai' on Miki's story of when she walked out of Sendai--the city--backed with a few photographs, a cold medicine, and some cloud gazing. There were survivors, a lot of them with some of them wandering the streets aimlessly after the incident. Miki took a lot of photos of these, and what's interesting is that these survivors aren't necessarily 'survivors'. Their eyes were white, they walked incoherently and asymmetrically, and they all moaned like cows--only less intelligent than the beefy counterpart judging from what Miki told me.

"They were zombies."

The 'Shadowmen' chuckled. "Zombies, Mrs. Tezuka? The distorted humanoid figure on the left of your painting are supposed to be 'zombies'?"

"Yes." And it's not a 'distorted humanoid figure'. It's a zombie.

Again, they chuckled. "Mrs. Tezuka, with all due respect, Sendai was similarly firebombed and..."

"That is what the officials said a few days later. Miki believed that damage on such a scale is incomparable to firebombings. I don't know if I should believe her. Maybe I should."

There's a sudden chill across the hall. The 'Shadowmen' fall silent--I think I might have let the cat out of the bag; not that there are any cats in bags to begin with I believe. Metaphors are fun. "Mrs. Tezuka, what makes you believe there were 'zombies' in Sendai?"

"I've seen Miki's photos. Her cross-reference work of the Dresden firebombing with the attack on Sendai, the photos of the statues, as well as her explanation won me over. What happened in Sendai is not the result of a firebombing. It's something else."

"I see..." the 'Shadowmen' began to murmur, their heads trained on the figure seated with at the back. With a swift motion and a nod, they return their attention back to me. "Where can we find her? How can we get in contact with her?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Try checking Tokyo, her office is there I believe. Never been there though."

Have you ever felt that strange feeling about butterflies and kangaroos inside you? Butterflies are always good. If there's a butterfly in your chest, you feel like you can fly and everything will be fine. Kangaroos were bad. They punch, kick, and knock your gut silly; it gives you that 'wrong-ness' feeling like something bad is going to happen. I'm having kangaroos right now, and I really-really want this to end soon.

"...do you mind if we finish this quickly? I'm having kangaroos right now."

"Is there anything else you wish to tell us considering Ms. Miura?"

"Other than she took that photograph of Satou being led by one of her students to a military truck, gave her that 'five second of fame', and became famous as the one who took the photo that 'Won the Federation'? Nope."

"Then you may leave, Mrs. Tezuka. Keep in mind, we will be in touch," The 'Shadowman' said, signaling the guards to come forth. "Do you need escorts?"

I have enough kangaroos inside me right now, I don't need another. "I'm fine. Emi should be waiting outside to pick me up."

"But we insist."

"Thanks, but nope. Besides, I got 'wings' to take me there."

Flapping my two stumps, I leave the trained eyes of the 'Shadowmen'. Exit, stage right.

-------------

There is a certain feeling of butterflies that surrounds me as I leave the building--like that time when I confessed to Hisao that I loved him back in high school, or that time when he put that engagement ring on my toe, or that time when we walked to the altar--minus the bouquet. Bouquets are bad for good reasons. I feel relieved, assured, and free. There are somethings that are best left unknown for the good of others, and my short stay with the 'Shadowmen' is probably something like that. Need to keep a mental note to try and ignore their future calls--otherwise my kangaroos will start kicking again, and I might end up somewhere at the bottom of the lake. Their last responses were worrying, almost sinister in their way of asking for Miki's details. I better warn Miki too, or she might end up hanging upside down from the top of the Tokyo Tower. More importantly, I should really stop thinking about this--my butterflies keep flying away. That's bad. Sending butterflies away is bad for health.

"Riiiiin!"

"Ah," My train of thoughts crashes. Again. "Emi."

As we agreed upon earlier, she has taken care of Rei until my interview with the Federal Officers was over--or until they were bored with my explanations. Unlike the 'Emi' thirty five years ago, she had her legs augmented and she now stands as normal as an 'Emi' could be. Couldn't tell the difference. I don't think there was much of a difference to begin with anyway since Emi is 'Emi'. Probably from our year of Yamaku alumni, she is the only one who managed to purchase an augmentation operation--Hisao and that blind boy in my old art class didn't count; the government gave it to them for the military. So nope, don't count.

"So," Ah. She crashed it again. "How did it go?"

"I'm hungry."

"I guess it went well..." she chuckles. "Rei is pretty impatient too."

The little girl who is clinging tightly to Emi immediately rushes forward with gusto, crashing into my legs and hugging it tightly with her little arms. Really, sometimes I believe Emi's 'Emiest' has rubbed off on my girl--her energy is pretty amazing for her size. Emi's size isn't a joke either. So, I crouch to level my head with my daughter's, only to be met with her ever so energetic hug and squeal of excitement. Life is wonderful.

"I'm hugging you mama!"

I rest my head on her shoulder. "I'm hugging you, Rei."

If she keeps this up until she turns twelve, I might have heart attacks too. Sorry Hisao, I had to make heart attack jokes about you sometimes.

Hisao is gone, left this world without a trace due to a war we never meant to partake in. Yet here, in the very soul of my little girl rests his legacy of what he was before: a father, a husband, and a lover. That alone is enough for me.

"Speaking of which, Rin," I blink once, shifting my attention to the somewhat-impatient Emi. "I have been wondering...where'd you come up with the name 'Rei'?"

"Where?"

"Well, no offense," I stood up straight. The little girl on my right raise her hand and held on to the knot tied on my shirt. "But I found it a little...simple? It's not uncreative--well, it is--but it sounds so...well, simple."

"Blame Hisao."

"Why?"

"I was thinking of naming her Reisen considering the situation when she was born.

"Reisen?"

"Cold War, literally. Hisao objected though, he thought it was too weird."

"I wouldn't say otherwise..."

We started walking, the three of us. "So, we made a compromise. 'Rei' came up as the winner."

The clouds in the sky clear away, and the wind gives us a cold slap on the cheek as the three of us start a new life together in this old, dying world.

...

Hey, that cloud I used to follow has returned...



Fin - Tezuka no Tegami

Author's Note
If you are questioning about continuity on each chapter, then I'll explain it right here. There are no continuity on each of the chapter unless mentioned. HOWEVER, there are plot points, background, setting, and characters I will keep in constant consistency that will reveal about the 'War, 'Federation', 'Greymen', 'NOVA', and others that link to it.

There will be a rewrite of 'Hakamichi no Tegami' sometime next week. But anyway, this is Rin's arc. Last but not least will be Emi's.

I have to admit, trying to keep Rin as a character is difficult. R&R!

After Emi, it's a straight run to the Answer Arc. Stay tuned!

Editing credit goes to Mirage_GSM. I owe you again

[Megumeru]

REWRITE...!

Rewritten the prologue, and a vast revamp of Shizune's arc. Hanako's rewrite is coming up, followed with Emi's arc. Lilly and Rin's arc might be considered to be rewritten, but that is still up for discussion. Reviews and criticism are appreciated.

Check here for quick links:
Prologue -Forgotten Memories-
Resonance -Hakamichi no Tegami-


Proofreader & Editor: Mirage_GSM. I couldn't thank you enough

[Zombiedude101]

Is there still gonna be more content with this?

[Megumeru]

Is there still gonna be more content with this?

I'm still working on the Emi arc, while Hanako's arc is currently being edited by Mirage_GSM (but since he's busy I can't pressure him). I'm also somewhat busy with college and part-time, so it's going rather slow

I'll be honest, Emi's arc came a little hard to write since it doesn't follow the usual norm/pattern of the previous two (Lilly and Rin) so you'll see action--a lot of them

[Mirage_GSM]

To be honest, I probably won't get to do much proofreading in the forseeable future. I am out of country until mid-July (Japan ) with sometimes spotty internet connection. I try to keep up with what's posted on the forums (as well as with a lot of other stuff happening at home) but feel free to ask someone else to edit your story, if you don't want to be held back by me. There's usually several people around here, who'll be glad to help.

[Elcor]

I really enjoyed the story and I can't wait for more.

I was hoping that Hisao wasn't dead in a lot of these, but that is just my hopes for a happy reunion.

[Megumeru]

I really enjoyed the story and I can't wait for more.

I was hoping that Hisao wasn't dead in a lot of these, but that is just my hopes for a happy reunion.

Wait tomorrow for a 'rewrite' on Hanako's chapter

[Elcor]

I really enjoyed the story and I can't wait for more.

I was hoping that Hisao wasn't dead in a lot of these, but that is just my hopes for a happy reunion.

Wait tomorrow for a 'rewrite' on Hanako's chapter

I read that "rewrite" in an ominous way (despite the smiley face)...but I have hope.

[Megumeru]

*UPDATED*

REWRIIIIIIITE!!!
Hanako arc's rewrite is complete! Features a more in-depth detail of the situation at the Home Front within the eyes of Hanako and Hisao's daughter, the events that led to their separation, and the infamous firebombing of Saitama. (Emi's chapter is coming up next week or two weeks from now, depending on my work schedule)

quicklink: Memento -Ikezawa no Tegami-

R&R (Read n Review )