Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

WORDS WORDS WORDS


Post Reply
User avatar
Specter Von Baren
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:15 pm
Location: North of south and west of east

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Specter Von Baren »

And now I'm feeling even less... I don't know... I guess the plot's just changed from what I was interested in at the beginning and now its...

Ugh. I'll just say screw the consequences and say exactly what I'm feeling even if I look like an idiot.

There was allot of emotion at the start with regrets and the potential to have interesting interactions and scenes but then everything sort of fell into this neat and tidy format. Hisao had a happy life with Lily, Hanako has become successful and with Hisao's death she seems to have now gotten over her past problems rather easily and it looks like Sho is playing the role of "stand in guy so Hanako has someone in the end". Little things like him being allot like a white knight and this new detail of him never even glancing at Hanako's scars just make him seem less like a character and more like a device.

And the thing with the funeral is that Hanako seems to have gotten over her feelings for Hisao really easily even though she thought about it for years. Everything is all patched up with Lily with very little trouble.... Ugh... It just.... I feel like I need to take a page from Drosselmeyer's book, if everything is too nice and tidy then the story isn't fun.
User avatar
Robnonymous
Posts: 162
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:56 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Robnonymous »

You know, it's funny. I had initially thought about doing things a little differently but my ideas felt too over-the-top to me. I felt like if I went through with my original plans the whole thing would've turned into "MELODRAMA!!!!! No, really, MELODRAMA!!!!" :P

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling it like you once were. :(
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.
User avatar
CNB
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by CNB »

One of the most entertaining things about this story, for me, is watching everyone who comments act like the overprotective dad or big brother who wants to make sure this new guy is going to treat their little girl right. I'm still a bit concerned that he's maybe being more solicitous than is okay. Having nothing against fluffy romance, I'm open to the idea that maybe she did just happen to stumble across a keeper without realizing it, but I think it'd be more palatable if there were some more obvious give-and-take between them, instead of him being the comforting shoulder to cry on. (And looking at it from his angle -- being the rebound guy sucks, especially when your love interest is rebounding from a relationship that was barely real to begin with.)

I'd also like to (and suspect I will) see more of Hanako and Lilly interacting, since not only is that relationship interesting to me, I find it wholly plausible that being put in a position where she has to be the supportive one would cause Hanako to re-evaluate her feelings about Hisao, without even being conscious of it at first. I mean, yeah, it's a bummer that her first teen romance got BAD END, but as I'm pretty sure I commented earlier, carrying that kind of thing around for nearly a decade takes a kind of self-delusion that often falls right apart upon contact with reality. Ultimately, I think reconnecting with someone who was her friend, and she did have a close relationship with for a substantial period of time, should be more important than moping over that dude she was totally into for a couple months in high school, who seemed like he was into her, too, before they both screwed up and everything went pear-shaped. It hurts a lot, but it's also the sort of ghost that'll pretty much lay itself to rest, given the correct, not-terribly-difficult-to-achieve circumstances.

Just my two cents; I'm not terribly demanding when it comes to fanfiction and this story already exceeded my expectations, so I'll most likely be pleased with whatever conclusion you're heading towards.
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6212
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Little things like him being allot like a white knight...
I disagree that he's acting like a white knight. He's acting like a friend should.
And the thing with the funeral is that Hanako seems to have gotten over her feelings for Hisao really easily even though she thought about it for years. Everything is all patched up with Lily with very little trouble....
Well, for Lilly to hold a grudge against Hanako all these years would have been WAY out of character. I can't think of a much harder way of them making up that wouldn't be very forced.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
Seacow
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:35 am

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Seacow »

Robnonymous wrote:I'm glad this one had a significant impact. I was a bit concerned that it might come off as too much or not enough. :P
You can never have enough KS heart-cringing fan fiction.

The more the merrier :twisted:
User avatar
Specter Von Baren
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:15 pm
Location: North of south and west of east

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Specter Von Baren »

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Little things like him being allot like a white knight...
I disagree that he's acting like a white knight. He's acting like a friend should.
And the thing with the funeral is that Hanako seems to have gotten over her feelings for Hisao really easily even though she thought about it for years. Everything is all patched up with Lily with very little trouble....
Well, for Lilly to hold a grudge against Hanako all these years would have been WAY out of character. I can't think of a much harder way of them making up that wouldn't be very forced.
His character is filling the role of the white knight, even if his actual character doesn't actually set out to be one. He's her publicist, that alone gives this relationship a white knight feeling, he's the buffer that gets the connections and plans the deals so she doesn't have to. He's shown to be very interested in her, even going so far as to come with her on this trip. Yes these are all traits of a friend but Hanako said before that she's kept herself distant from everyone for several years, it just feels like this relationship they have right now hasn't been earned. I don't know how to describe it better. It just feels.... too easy.

As for Lily, I wasn't thinking she would have a grudge or anything of the sort but I was hoping that the regrets the two have would have played more into this. It's not that they made up, it's that it feels like it went by too quickly..

I guess the main thing is that the story is over now. Hanako has made up with Lily, Sho is going to likely become her boyfriend, Hanako is okay with Hisao's death and has moved on past whatever relationship they did and could of had. Everything's done, the story is pretty much over. Maybe it's because it feels like the climax happened in the first two chapters and everything here is just the aftermath.
User avatar
CNB
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by CNB »

Specter Von Baren wrote:His character is filling the role of the white knight, even if his actual character doesn't actually set out to be one.
As for Lily, I wasn't thinking she would have a grudge or anything of the sort but I was hoping that the regrets the two have would have played more into this. It's not that they made up, it's that it feels like it went by too quickly..
I don't wholly disagree with these sentiments. Sho still hasn't done much besides be "nice" in a kind of generic nonono-don't-get-the-wrong-idea-of-course-we're-just-friends-oh-God-why-are-we-just-friends-I-want-to-be-her-boyfriend-so-much-FUCK-ME-WHY-AM-I-SUCH-A-ROMANTIC-COWARD way.

As for Lilly, I too was expecting a somewhat more... fraught?... reunion, but given the ending of the latest chapter, I'm willing to entertain the notion that she was putting on a brave face.
I guess the main thing is that the story is over now.
I'm withholding judgment on this score until I actually see the words, "THE END." I can think of places this could go that might interest me; since I'm not writing it, there's no guarantee it actually will, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. I mainly read fanfic because it shows the author's thoughts and feelings about characters in a way that I find more interesting -- and in some ways more honest -- than would be the case with an essay or discussion. In that respect, I feel like this has delivered; I'll be a little disappointed if it winds up with a pat ending, but even if that happens, at least it suggested some ideas worth talking about along the way.
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6212
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

...it just feels like this relationship they have right now hasn't been earned. I don't know how to describe it better. It just feels.... too easy.
Being that close to a girl you have feelings for such a long time is anything but easy.
And I don't think you can "earn" a relationship. Either there are feelings on the part of the other person or there aren't.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
User avatar
CNB
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by CNB »

Mirage_GSM wrote:Being that close to a girl you have feelings for such a long time is anything but easy.
And I don't think you can "earn" a relationship. Either there are feelings on the part of the other person or there aren't.
I rather think he's talking in dramatic terms. I.e., "earned" means something along the lines of "convincing to the audience."
User avatar
Robnonymous
Posts: 162
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:56 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Robnonymous »

If nothing else, I'm glad this has sparked so much discussion. :wink:

I do have plans, of course, but I think I'll just have to accept the fact that no matter what I do there's going to be at least one person who isn't satisfied. 'Tis the way of things, I suppose.
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.
User avatar
CNB
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by CNB »

Well you know what they say about all of the people, all of the time.
User avatar
Specter Von Baren
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:15 pm
Location: North of south and west of east

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by Specter Von Baren »

CNB wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Being that close to a girl you have feelings for such a long time is anything but easy.
And I don't think you can "earn" a relationship. Either there are feelings on the part of the other person or there aren't.
I rather think he's talking in dramatic terms. I.e., "earned" means something along the lines of "convincing to the audience."
Yes, this is what I meant.

This story is not bad, and I don't think it is. I just feel unsatisfied with it. I still much prefer Robonymous's other story 'Bad Dreams'.
User avatar
CNB
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:58 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by CNB »

Specter Von Baren wrote:I still much prefer Robonymous's other story 'Bad Dreams'.
Huh, I feel the opposite way. "Bad Dreams" was super cute, but it didn't show me much about the characters that felt new. This one's quite a bit rougher in some ways, but I feel like it also has more to say about how Robnonymous perceives Hanako et al.

I also have a slight general bias toward stories about funerals, as opposed to stories about weddings.
User avatar
gecko
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:40 pm

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by gecko »

Robnonymous wrote:You know, it's funny. I had initially thought about doing things a little differently but my ideas felt too over-the-top to me. I felt like if I went through with my original plans the whole thing would've turned into "MELODRAMA!!!!! No, really, MELODRAMA!!!!" :P

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling it like you once were. :(
I'm glad you didn't go for the melodrama. But I'd agree that the main plot conflicts seem all solved now. Unless you've got some surprise in store for us, it feels we're now in aftermath / epilogue zone.
Will keep my eyes open until I see the word END too, though.
99% completion.
Mind-worm meter: Rin>>Emi>Lily>Hanako>>Shizune
Fanfic: The lamb and the fox
User avatar
tsunami_state
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:05 pm
Location: Anywhere, but not where you're thinking
Contact:

Re: Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story)

Post by tsunami_state »

I was lurking this forum as a guest for a while, and I'm glad to find such a great story. You are partly a reason of registering here :)
The current chapter was... beautiful yet depressive, but it should be like it, isn't it? In-game chars are acting in-character, and that's what I like in story the most. It gets annoying when characters act not like they should be. I just love relationship between Hanako and Lilly in the game, and your story shows it as great as it was.

So I'm giving a huge thumbs up and waiting for the next chappie :D
Hanako & Lilly - The Heartwreckers
Emi & Rin - The WTF takers
Shizune & Misha - The Sexy ones *woflwhistle*

Hanako = Lilly >= Emi >= Shizune
No Rin 'cuz didn't play her route yet o_O
Post Reply