-

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Otakumon
Posts: 258
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 12:01 am
Location: 3rd rock from the sun

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Otakumon » Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:53 pm

Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?

User avatar
myshoesarebrown
Posts: 76
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:49 pm
Location: Oklahoma

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by myshoesarebrown » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:24 pm

Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
My understanding of the story may be completely wrong, but I'm fairly sure Hisao isn't in control. The voice... monster... thing... just needed to eat him, perhaps take his form like he did Kenji. Just as Kenji was not in control, he was just a tool. I assume Hisao is now dead, like Kenji.
My shoes aren't actually brown. Well, one pair is, but I mostly wear grey ones.

User avatar
Doomish
Posts: 322
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:13 am

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:00 pm

Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
Well, technically, yes, but it's not about Hisao Nakai the person hating the people he's been presented with, it's about Hisao Nakai's iteration of the Voice telling him just how much he hates humans in general.

User avatar
Otakumon
Posts: 258
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 12:01 am
Location: 3rd rock from the sun

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Otakumon » Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:52 pm

Doomish wrote:
Otakumon wrote:Well done with the story, but I do have a question about the ending. I know Hisao mentions that he and Takashi never really get along in KS but wouldn't he come closer to actually hating Iwanako for beginning the downward spiral his life took, at least considering his current deranged state?
Well, technically, yes, but it's not about Hisao Nakai the person hating the people he's been presented with, it's about Hisao Nakai's iteration of the Voice telling him just how much he hates humans in general.
I see. I thought maybe the voice was gleaning it's feelings from those it eats.

User avatar
Doomish
Posts: 322
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:13 am

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:10 pm

That's part of it too, hence why Kenji was so keen to break Hisao when he had all the girls to choose from. He didn't hate Hisao, he wanted him to survive at any cost; hence why the creature constantly made sure he was the only one left alive without the option of suicide. Regular ol' Kenji probably would have just let Hisao go alive, but again, he wasn't in control of the voice at all despite it adapting some of Kenji's emotion toward the girls, it was in control of him.

Guest

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Guest » Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:55 pm

God damn it.

I know the ending left little room for continuing the story, but I can't help but want more. This may possibly be the most incredibly well fanfic I've ever read.

User avatar
Demonhornz
Posts: 68
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:35 pm

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Demonhornz » Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:07 am

Doomish wrote:That's part of it too, hence why Kenji was so keen to break Hisao when he had all the girls to choose from. He didn't hate Hisao, he wanted him to survive at any cost; hence why the creature constantly made sure he was the only one left alive without the option of suicide. Regular ol' Kenji probably would have just let Hisao go alive, but again, he wasn't in control of the voice at all despite it adapting some of Kenji's emotion toward the girls, it was in control of him.
So even when possessed by the thing, Kenji's still looking out for his bros.

User avatar
Althamus
Posts: 318
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:19 pm

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Althamus » Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:39 am

Um.

I got referred here by the Nightmare Fuel topic, and when here read the first post with some measure of... masochism? It's unlike anything I've read before. A little way down, I found someone talking about the original, and have just read that and... again, am not really sure what to think.

Your story is well written, I'm on the third post now, but reading it does feel a little bit surreal.

Also, not sure if you should put a link to the original in your first post? Or whether you explain things later on? But until I read the original, I hadn't a clue what was going on in the story.
Routes played: Emi (10/10), Shizune (6/10), Lilly (9/10), Hanako (9/10), Rin (7.5/10)
Emi > Hanako = Lilly > Rin > Shizune
"As long as you're still alive, you can keep going." ~ Emi

100 pushup challenge
MADE HER PROUD - Final exhaustion test: 101

Doomish (not logged in)

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish (not logged in) » Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:15 pm

There's a link to the original story in the first sentence of the OP, and a link to Cat Bountry's version in the second! I recommend any first-time readers to go through the original first, but this one has become enough of its own story that you can read it without knowing the original tale by Ellison exists, as the climax of the story reveals several things that tie it together.

And, no, I'm not a self-proclaimed pain enthusiast, it just happens to be a core element of the story.

Nakasaro-San
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:49 am

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Nakasaro-San » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:54 am

TBH, I wasn't really affected by this, but goddamn the story is great. Some of the parts are pretty comical, I think :lol: But don't start hating on me. Just an opinion. :)

User avatar
The O.H.L.
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:36 am
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by The O.H.L. » Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:54 am

I have one little query about the story. In Hisao's dream the world is normal and fine, but Lilly is 'shown' the world and it is a desolate land, and at the end the voice tells the new batch of students that it is a post apocalyptic wasteland. So what is the real world like while they are in there? Also I just wanted to bring this back up.
Guess who's back, back, back, back again.
Not that I ever made any great contributions, but oh well, too bad.

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6033
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:06 am

We'll never know what the world really looks like, because obviously the voice has the power to influence both the perceptions and memories of everyone in it's clutches, so for all we know they could be sitting on a green meadow with butterflies fluttering around them.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
The O.H.L.
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:36 am
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by The O.H.L. » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:48 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:We'll never know what the world really looks like, because obviously the voice has the power to influence both the perceptions and memories of everyone in it's clutches, so for all we know they could be sitting on a green meadow with butterflies fluttering around them.
Now that would be a twist.
Guess who's back, back, back, back again.
Not that I ever made any great contributions, but oh well, too bad.

User avatar
Althamus
Posts: 318
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:19 pm

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Althamus » Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:18 pm

The only thing that seemed strange and broke the fourth wall a little bit for me was that -no one- offered Lilly any clothes at all.

I can understand being numbed to the idea of nakedness on a sexual side, that after everything they've been through, such things as nakedness and modesty are the furthest from their minds, but it surprised me that none of them offered her anything. After all, clothing ourselves is one of the things that seperates us from animals, and if nothing else I would have thought that even in their situation, just giving her Hisao's shirt would have made her feel better for being clothed, even if it didn't really cover her properly. A symbol, "he can't take our humanity from us" etc.

That aside, it was a very good story :D I really enjoyed it, even if it did feel a little masochistic reading about the characters I know and love being torn apart (literally) in front of my eyes :P

I liked how you merged the VN to get aspects from all the paths together into the backstory. Kinda sad that the 'canon' story was Emi's bad ending. I also really liked Emi's ghost, I thought that put a nice spin on things and showed Hisao's gentle insanity, rather than frothing maniac side.

Well written story though :D
Routes played: Emi (10/10), Shizune (6/10), Lilly (9/10), Hanako (9/10), Rin (7.5/10)
Emi > Hanako = Lilly > Rin > Shizune
"As long as you're still alive, you can keep going." ~ Emi

100 pushup challenge
MADE HER PROUD - Final exhaustion test: 101

User avatar
Roamin12
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:53 pm
Location: USA

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Roamin12 » Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:49 pm

This story had been, for lack of better words, disturbing. But in a good way.
I normally am not into horror and the thought of having that injected into Katawa put me off at first, but i learned to roll with it.
Overall, the story was great, while I do have my qualms (More than likely because I'm too used to happy ending books, I should read more depressing no happy ending ones.) about it, I did like it. But I will NEVER read it again, to many nightmares and sleepless nights. *shudder*
First Play through: Lilly>Hanako>Emi>Rin>Shizune
Second Play Through: Hanako>Rin>Lilly>Shizune>Emi
I'm a music enthusiast.

Post Reply