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WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Demonhornz
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Demonhornz » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:55 am

I don't really mind the 'ending', as it were. The fact that there's another Act to further torture the characters (I assume) and drive it all back to hell is a bit depressing but admittedly I am already tied to this story and likely won't be able to stop until its likely dark end.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:01 am

I liked the ending.
So the government did it. So what? Someone had to have done it.
Yes, they did let them go, but I fear we will learn the reason for that soon.
So he did skip over the rest of their school life and the years in between. All that could have been written, but it wouldn't have fitted with the rest of the story.
One thing I noticed is that you don't just "get up and go to the cafeteria" directly after waking up from a month-long coma. Muscles do atropy.

I'd very much like the story to end right there, but I'm afraid it's just too well written for me to stop reading...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Bagheera
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Bagheera » Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:50 am

I think the ending's fine.

I'm not sure what else you can do with the idea at this point, though; further suffering on Hisao's part would be pointless (and have next to impact given what's come before), and losing either Hanako or Rin would just seem gratuitous at this point (indeed, if he lost both I think the story would crumble, since Hisao alone can't really carry it IMO).

OTOH if it does turn out to be an illusion courtesy of the Voice and we get the characters back (and another "ending") that might be a different matter. I'd urge caution if that's what you have in mind, though; while true to Ellison's original story it's nonetheless a fakeout that will make everything that comes after endlessly suspect.
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


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Mirage_GSM
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:50 am

Hmm... Bagheera is right...
The only thing that can conceivably happen is that everything turns out to be a dream, but in that case it will be impossible to bring the story to a satisfying end at all, because everything that happens would be subject to doubt.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Doomish (In a public setting)

Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish (In a public setting) » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:47 pm

You have to think of the events that have happened so far when you consider what could happen next. What have the characters been doing? Where have they been? Why Rin and Hanako and not just Hisao? I've planted little hints at what's really going on deep within the story, all you have to do is read between the lines and find the subtext.

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Demonhornz
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Demonhornz » Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:25 pm

Please tell me they aren't infected. Ahaha.

I dunno.

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LoveTl
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by LoveTl » Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:31 pm

Quiet a good nightmare fuelm isn't it? I enjoyed this.
...And thank you for not killing Rin.

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Demonhornz
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Demonhornz » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:22 pm

LoveTl wrote:Quiet a good nightmare fuelm isn't it? I enjoyed this.
...And thank you for not killing Rin.
Yet.

themocaw
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by themocaw » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:39 pm

Enjoying this one, but honestly a bit worried as to where it could possibly go from here without suffering Shounen Jump Syndrome (where the story goes on and on and on and escalates continually until it's hard to keep caring).

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Doomish
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:04 pm

Forget it.
Last edited by Doomish on Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Sperance
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Sperance » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:41 pm

Well, so much for happy endings XD. But seriously, why did the voice make Rin go away AGAIN? Also, Hisao disturbs me. The girls, they all feel broken in some ways, but Hisao just feels dead to me. Like he's only some kind of automaton now

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:50 pm

I was afraid you'd do something like this. You have now robbed yourself of the possibility to bring this story to any conclusion at all.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Bagheera
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Bagheera » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:22 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:I was afraid you'd do something like this. You have now robbed yourself of the possibility to bring this story to any conclusion at all.
Yeah, pretty much. Now it just goes in circles until you get tired of it and decide to stop. Future reveals are now meaningless because we'll never have any reason to think it's not just another game/fakeout.

Oh well. Fun while it lasted.
Girls: Emi = Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Shizune = Rin
Routes: Rin = Shizune > Emi > Lilly = Hanako


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myshoesarebrown
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by myshoesarebrown » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:45 pm

I can see a conclusion similar(in feeling) to what it's based on, that "I Have No Mouth" story, which I hoped for all along: Hisao will try, fail, and end up alone and in despair. I imagine he'll come to realize he can't win and give up all hope. As much as he has claimed to have given up hope before, it's obvious he was just lying to himself. Hopefully, this will lead to his inevitable defeat and he'll just submit to the voice.

The point is, I can still see possible conclusions to the story. None of them are happy, but that's perfectly fine. I'd much rather see this end with Hisao stuck in the ninth circle of hell than "it was an experiment, they're saved, all is well".
My shoes aren't actually brown. Well, one pair is, but I mostly wear grey ones.

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Doomish
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Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret

Post by Doomish » Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:23 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:I was afraid you'd do something like this. You have now robbed yourself of the possibility to bring this story to any conclusion at all.
Bagheera wrote: Yeah, pretty much. Now it just goes in circles until you get tired of it and decide to stop. Future reveals are now meaningless because we'll never have any reason to think it's not just another game/fakeout.

Oh well. Fun while it lasted.
Challenge accepted. Image

But in all honesty, don't worry about it, I know exactly how to bring the thing full circle. I have the whole thing planned out and I've been anticipating comments like this from the start; and I know I won't be able to please everyone, but I'll bring it to a satisfying end one way or another, believe me.

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