Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some Porn]

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by sabre98 » Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:11 am

Aww, you´re giving me the feels. Again.

You´re good, themocaw. Scary good. You´ve posted so many stories in last few weeeks, yet you managed to maintain high level of quality. I don´t know where you get time to write all this stuff but keep them coming
Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by Robnonymous » Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:56 am

Wow, The Marriage seems to be going around a lot. :P

Not a complaint as I'm "Daaaaaawwwwww"-ing right there with everyone else. I just think it's interesting how many of us apparently really want to see these girls get hitched.
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by xaolindragon » Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:29 am

Ending seemed abrupt for me, but I loved it nonetheless. Well, maybe not abrupt, but it did catch me off guard. Sad to see this story end. It was an absolutely lovely ending, just seemed short as a whole for me. I look forward to any future writings you have.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by Synthus » Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:13 am

sabre98 wrote:Aww, you´re giving me the feels. Again.

You´re good, themocaw. Scary good. You´ve posted so many stories in last few weeeks, yet you managed to maintain high level of quality. I don´t know where you get time to write all this stuff but keep them coming
Yep. I can't think of a fanfiction author as prolific and consistently good as themocaw. He's like the Jim Butcher of KS fanfiction. :)

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by themocaw » Thu Feb 09, 2012 11:19 am

sabre98 wrote:I don´t know where you get time to write all this stuff but keep them coming
That's actually pretty interesting, at least to me: I took about an hour or so of time that I usually spent in the evenings playing video games and instead decided to spend it writing. As it turns out, you can get a lot of writing done in an hour and a half, if you really go for it.

I'm pretty sure that I'll never be able to maintain this pace for too long: eventually I'll wind up dropping off writing KS fanfiction. However, that decision to spend time every night doing some writing is one that, I hope, won't change. I'll just be writing my own stuff instead.

So yeah. Thanks, KS devs.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by Ax Maverick » Thu Feb 09, 2012 4:40 pm

All my feels ;______;

This was just too beautiful, it's just the most touching fanfic I've read in months TwT
"Stop telling me not to worry about you! Just this once... Let me cry..."


"I fell in love with you, and I refuse to let that be thrown away, just because you're afraid to lose me."

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by GG Crono » Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:21 pm


Seriously, though. This has been one seriously well-composed piece and I look forward to following your future writings.

Out of curiosity, have you ever written anything non-KS? Original stuff, maybe?

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by alien.marksman » Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:31 pm

Do you have a blog or some thing we can follow any more of your writing?
It'd be a shame to be introduced to your story telling and have no means of following it up.
For Queen and Country

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by themocaw » Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:52 pm

Re: other stuff I've done:

I have a deviantArt page that I've barely touched in over a year (mocaw.deviantart.com), and I do some writing for something called the SCP Foundation (if you don't know what it is, don't worry about it), mostly writing bad action-movie storylines starring a sociopathic Mary Sue named Clef. I'm also in the preliminary stages of working on my own VN under the working title of "Alchemy": we'll see how that goes.

Word of warning: Sturgeon's Law applies here (90% of everything is crap). Most of the stuff I've written is honestly pretty bad, but if there were a few non-fanfic stories of mine that I feel are pretty good, I'd definitely include the following:

Fairy Tale Endings - It's rough and really melodramatic, but I still kinda like it.

You're Absolutely Right - An address to my old self, before I pulled myself out of my self-pitying phase.

We Can't Work It Out - A reflection on divorce and separation.

This thread isn't really about pimping myself out, so I'll just leave it at that.
Last edited by themocaw on Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by Lothbrok » Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:11 pm

This was great but i was wondering if your opposed to doing the same (after Yakamu) stories with the other girls.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by quellsnarg » Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:15 pm


That was really good. I got happy butterflies in my stomach when I realized what Hisao was doing. And Shizune saying it aloud made me a little misty-eyed. Looking forward to the final part!
Shizune >>> Emi > Rin = Hanako >> Lilly

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by GG Crono » Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:49 am

themocaw wrote:...and I do some writing for something called the SCP Foundation...
For reals? I love them! Haven't checked up in awhile, though, should do that again. :D

For those who don't know what it is, this is a pretty good primer.

Would you mind pointing out some SCP writeups you've done?

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Stepping Together Into the Future

Post by themocaw » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:19 am

And here it is. . . the final chapter. Thanks to everyone who's given feedback on this one.


Five years later. . .

"So what kind of consulting did you say your dad did again?" I ask Hideaki.

"Security," Hideaki says.

"A security consultant. Right."

The bride's side of the garden is starting to look rather like a bad gangster movie: everyone's wearing black suits, and there are lots of big men with sunglasses and slim watches standing around not talking to anyone. A tall blonde woman with a burn-scarred face stands around talking to the biggest black man I've ever seen, a blond guy with glasses, some foreign woman with an impressive series of tattoos on her upper arms, and what appears to be a normal Japanese salaryman. A couple of Italian men, accompanied by teenage girls carrying various musical instrument cases, are watching the proceedings. A brunette in a red suit, accompanied by a young woman wearing a black suit and tie, take a seat next to two high school girls, a high school-age boy, and what seems to be an eight year old girl in a kimono. A very palpable air of menace emanates from that side of the garden, causing everyone on my side to glance over at them nervously.

"Who are these people again?" I ask Hideaki.

"Friends of my dad's. Business partners, mostly." He brushes his blue-black hair back from his face: his formerly girlish features have now matured into a kind of pretty-boy elegance that makes him look like a pop star. In the background, I can see a couple of high-school aged girl glance over at him and giggle behind their hands. Hideaki ignores them. "You nervous?" he asks.

"Like hell. I think I'm going to throw up."

"If you do, don't do it on me," Hideaki says. "I need to go sit down now. Good luck."

"Thanks," I sigh. Hideaki gives me a nod and walks back to the bride's side of the garden, leaving me standing at the dais alone.

Yamaku High School is beautiful in the spring, when the flower blossoms are blooming. The garden behind the school has always been one of my favorite places. It's not surprising, then, that Shizune wanted to have our wedding here. Considering the amount of time and money that the Hakamichi and Satou families have donated towards this school, the board was only too happy to say yes.

Akio Mutou somehow manages to make his doctoral robes look shabby and ill-fitting, even for such voluminous garments. He'd been surprised when Shizune and I asked him to officiate at our wedding. "I'm just a teacher," he'd protested. "I don't deserve this honor."

"You're not just a teacher. You're also my mentor and close friend. And if it weren't for you, the two of us might never have gotten together," I'd insisted.

Mutou had sighed and stabbed his cigarette out in the ashtray. "Very well, then," he'd smiled. "If all I have to do is stand in front of a bunch of people and say a bunch of words no one will listen to. . . I can't say that I'm not inexperienced at that."

Now, he stands at the altar and nods to me. "Hang in there, Nakai-san," he murmurs. "It'll all be over soon."

"I know," I reply. "But not soon enough.


The sound of music cuts through the chatter: an arrangement of Pachelbel's Canon in D for a single harp. As the garden falls silent, I can see the wedding procession begin to emerge through the flower arch and walk down the garden path.

The first to walk down the aisle is Lilly Satou, escorted by my friend Shun. Lilly looks beautiful in her pale blue wedding dress, offsetting her eyes and her long, blonde hair. Sitting in the front row on the bride's side are her husband and her three year-old daughter, who look over at their wife and mother with proud smiles.

I remember four years ago, visiting Scotland with Shizune for Lilly's wedding. The green hills of that beautiful countryside are still engraved in my memory as Lilly and her husband took their vows to each other. Afterwards, I'd seen Shizune and Lilly at the reception, sitting side by side. Shizune was touching Lilly's hand, pressing against her fingertips and palms, brushing her fingertips against Lilly's wrists. I found out later that it was a form of deafblind sign language, like the one used by Anne Sullivan to teach Helen Keller. It was how Shizune and Lilly used to talk to each other. They hadn't used it in over two years, since their junior year at Yamaku.

Since they had their falling out.

Shizune came home from that wedding in high spirits, as if she'd finally put to rest something that had been haunting her for a long time. [It felt good to talk to Lilly again. Really talk to her, not fight with her,] she'd told me on the plane trip home. [I didn't realize how much I'd missed it until it was gone.] She'd looked wistful then. A few hesitant starts, before finally signing: [We were really silly as teenagers, weren't we?]

[I guess so,] I admitted.

[I kind of wish I'd been more mature about it. All this time we wasted on fighting. . .]

[If you had been, you wouldn't have been a teenager. Making mistakes is all part of growing up.]

[I suppose,] Shizune had replied. [But in the end, you're here, so I guess I didn't mess up too badly.]

I'd given her a kiss then. She'd returned it. We'd looked around the plane and seen that everyone else was either asleep or otherwise occupied.

By the way: the mile-high club is overrated. Not enough room to really enjoy yourself in that cramped airplane lavatory, and the flight attendant gave us a serious (if hushed) chewing out when she found out. Shizune claims we should give it another shot some day. I think I'll pass.


The next pair to walk down the aisle are one of Shizune's college friends and my old friend Takumi. His own wife and child are seated on my side, next to Iwanako and her husband. Takumi gives me a nod as he walks over to stand next to Shun, at my side. He and Iwanako had broken up about a couple of years after that memorable visit to my home town: no fault of either of them, just time and circumstances causing them to drift apart. Takumi wound up getting married to one of his coworkers: Iwanako went through a matchmaker and found a nice young man in government civil service. She's hugely pregnant, and looks radiantly happy.

After them are my best man, escorting a tall, round-faced woman with long brown hair tied up in a bun. Misha grins at me happily, her eyes wet with emotion.

I have to admit, I wasn't sure about it when Shizune told me that she wanted Misha to be her maid of honor. [Are you sure about this?] I asked. [Don't you think it might be a bit awkward? I mean, inviting someone who once confessed to you to your own wedding?]

[It might,] Shizune admitted, [but Misha deserves this. She's been by my side through so much else. I wouldn't want anyone else by my side for this. Besides, it's been, what, over seven years now? I'm sure she's forgotten all about it by now.]

Shizune was right: the disasters I had anticipated never materialized. Time and distance, I suppose, healing all wounds. Misha had been delighted to be given the honor of standing by her old friend at her wedding. She'd flown in a week before the ceremony, just in time for the Shinto blessing and the Japanese-style ceremonies for the friends and family.

The next day, the three of us had spent a wonderful evening together, eating dinner, reminiscing about old times, and catching up on current events. Towards the end, Misha had given me the third degree for waiting so long to actually get married. ["You and Shicchan have been engaged for five years!"] she complained. ["We were starting to think that you didn't actually mean it!"]

[We would have gotten married sooner,] Shizune insisted, [but someone insisted we at least wait until we finished college.]

["Well, neither of us wanted to change schools, and we were going to school way too far away from each other to share a place,"] I pointed out. ["Besides, it's better this way. Now we won't have to worry about starting a family while we're trying to get our degrees."]

[That's because Hisao's too lazy to do more than one thing at a time,] Shizune claimed, eliciting one of Misha's famous guffaws at last.

If there's one thing I regret, it's that Misha still hasn't found someone yet. I suppose it's too much to hope for, that everyone could be as deliriously happy as me on this day. But if there's the slightest hint of wistful regret in Misha's eyes as she takes her place across from me, it's tempered with the true joy she feels at seeing two of her oldest friends find happiness.

In the end, I suppose, that will be enough for us both.


My best man saunters to my side and nudges me in the ribs. "If you want to escape," Kenji says, "I've got your back. I can have a flashbang and smoke grenade into this crowd in moments."

"Please don't tell me that you really brought grenades to my wedding, Kenji," I whisper.

"I had to do something. Half this group is packing heat as it is."

"I really didn't need to know that," I wince.

"Still," Kenji whispers, "I think you're making a mistake. Marriage is nothing but a scam by the feminists to oppress men under their heel."

"Says the man who's been in a committed relationship for what, the past five years?"

"Yup. That's the way to do it. Don't let them get your claws into you. Keep your freedom safe. Keep it close."

I sigh and wonder, for the umpteenth time, whether I should try and explain the concept of a "common-law marriage" to my old friend. Probably not. I need him here by me on the dais, not running screaming into the night in a schizoid panic.


Pachelbel's Canon ends with a light trill on the harp, as the entire garden waits in silent anticipation. The musician reaches to her music stand and turns the page.

Wagner's Bridal Chorus plays forth like starlight against the silver strings. Everyone in the audience turns towards the back of the garden. With slow, measured steps, two people emerge through the arch of white roses and walk slowly down the satin pathway.

Jigoro Hakamichi escorts his daughter down the aisle with an inwardly contemplative expression on his broad, brutally handsome face. His long, wild hair, now braided into a neat queue, is shot through with some grey, and his beard is starting to turn grey as well. He wears his black tuxedo with the same confident flair as he does his usual Hawaiian-style shirts and slacks. His ever-present sword (which, I have learned, is a family heirloom dating from the Sengoku Period), is clutched in his left hand: his right arm is crooked at a neat angle, Shizune's hand resting in the crook of his elbow.

I gulp nervously, remembering last night's dinner. After the rehearsal, Jigoro had taken the family of the bride and groom out to an extremely exclusive, extremely expensive sushi restaurant for dinner. After one too many beers, I'd made an exit to the restroom in order to relieve myself, and found my soon-to-be father in law waiting for me just outside the bathroom doors.

Oh god, I'd thought. He's got me here alone, and now he's going to kill me.

Jigoro cleared his throat and shot me with an angry glare. "Just so you know," he insisted. "I still don't approve of you. You're nowhere near good enough for my daughter. She deserves better than someone like you."

I'd steeled myself and set my shoulders. "Yes, I know, sir," I'd said, staring into this dangerous man's eyes. "But. . . to my great fortune. . . she's decided to settle for me."

Jigoro had nodded at that. "Just so you understand." Adjusting the lapels of his coat, he'd turned to enter the restroom. "Still," he'd admitted, with one hand on the door, "you are, at least, not completely disgraceful."

I guess that's the closest that a man like Jigoro Hakamichi can ever come to admitting he likes me.


And then there's Shizune.

I'm not certain exactly what the details of the dress she's wearing is: words like "seed pearls," "A-line," and "cathedral train" might as well be Ancient Greek to me. All I know is that I've never seen her looking as beautiful as she does right now. Her long, raven-black hair, which she's been growing out since we left high school, cascades down her back in a jet-black waterfall, shrouded by the thin veil draped over her face and shoulders. A bouquet of white roses is clasped in her gloved hands.

The stereotypical bride on her wedding day walks with her face demurely lowered, blushing with nervousness. Shizune, however, walks with long, confident strides, her chin raised proudly. Her eyes meet mine, and a happy smile quirks her lips. Jigoro reluctantly hands his daughter over to me and gives me a stern nod before taking his seat next to his son. Shizune and I smile at each other as we join hands and look into each other's eyes for a long moment.

Last night, after dinner, we'd snuck out of our hotel rooms and into this garden. We'd sat down together on the dais, looking at the empty chairs lined up, waiting to be filled with hundreds of our friends and family to watch this moment in our lives when we pledged our futures together.

[I can't promise you too much,] I'd admitted, after a long talk about our plans for the future. [High school teachers don't make too much money. But I can promise you that I'll never keep from you anything that's mine, and that I'll never hold back anything that's rightfully ours. I'll never run ahead of you, and I'll never lag behind you, but I'll walk beside you as long as you let me. And if you move ahead of me, I'll chase you until I catch up to you. That's all I want.]

[Then I'll have everything I ever need,] Shizune had said, and the look in her eyes as she held my hand under the starlight was one of pure love.

It's the same look she's giving me now.

I find that I am, at this moment, blissfully happy.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know what fears and challenges lie before me. But I do know that no matter what the future holds, there is no one else I'd rather face it with than this woman.

Hand in hand, we turn towards the altar, and take the first step together towards the rest of our lives.


Last edited by themocaw on Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by Synthus » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:42 am

Damn. That was beautiful. I particularly enjoyed the interaction with Jigoro; he's a classic Asian father in his (hidden) regard for his child.

The latest edit was also great. It's amazing how a few short lines can add so much more emotional weight.

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Re: Weekend at Hisao's (Was: At the Train Station) - [Some P

Post by themocaw » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:44 am

And now for some Q&A:
GG Crono wrote:Would you mind pointing out some SCP writeups you've done?
My highest-rated article is SCP-231, but I think my personal favorite is SCP-001 Clef. I'm nowhere near as prolific as Gears is, though: that man is living nightmare fuel incarnate.

If you want to chat more about that stuff, feel free to come into #site19 at Synirc (registered nicknames required) or send me a PM: I'd rather not clutter up the forum talking about SCP stuff, as much as I enjoy working on that project.
Lothbrok wrote:This was great but i was wondering if your opposed to doing the same (after Yakamu) stories with the other girls.
I'm not particularly opposed to it, but I don't really know if I have a good story in mind for the other girls: at least, not one that a different writer isn't already doing. This project was originally just supposed to be a bunch of fun kinky sex stories about Shizune and Hisao, anyway, but I wound up deciding to try and redeem their relationship, which some readers think of as distant and loveless.

Here's my personal head-canon on the matter: High School in Japan is serious business: college entrance examinations are killer, and you're under a lot of pressure to succeed. For someone as driven as Shizune, that means that she doesn't really find much time for personal matters. On the other hand, college is generally a much more relaxed and fun environment. I can imagine that, with the pressure of running the entire student council at the same time that she has to take classes and do well on her exams off of her, Shizune's more playful side (which we see hints of here and there) can express itself more. Also, given that she's got a hidden shy side, she might have been waiting for Hisao to make a move on her, which the Master of Romance never did, leading up to the student council room scene. In addition, as has been said before, Shizune's not the type of person to abandon her friend for her boyfriend: no matter what comes next, she wants to keep Misha involved. It's a bit of self-centeredness that puts a lot of strain on the relationship between the trio and nearly breaks it apart: thank goodness Hisao had the sack not to put it in his GIRLFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND, WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?

*ahem* Sorry about that. I got a bit of Bad End on me. :P

Anyway think, if I were to do another project of this length and magnitude, it would be a Misha arc. We'll see how that goes, though. Until then, I'll continue doing short works.

Thanks for reading, and thanks to the KS devs for making Katawa Shoujo. This freeware fan-made labor of love is up there with DaCapo and Fate Stay/Night as my favorite visual novel of all time. You guys rock.



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