Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

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scott1and
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by scott1and » Wed Jan 18, 2012 5:00 pm

Sperance wrote:Oh, God the lolality of it. What is it about scatological humor thats amuses me so? I'm more mature than that
You may be, but I'm not :lol:

Liking this, get a nice wee laugh when I read it.
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MintySocks
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by MintySocks » Tue Feb 07, 2012 2:27 am

By the time we finish getting dinner and groceries, it's well past 10. As I'm loading up the fridge, Rin wriggles out of her tank top and yoga pants in the living room. We fall into bed together, and Rin wraps her legs around mine with a strength her thin frame disguises well.

“Hisao.”

It's a statement, not a question.

“Yes, hun?”

“Don't die.”

I don't think she can see me in the dark, but I smile nonetheless.

“Of course.”

“No, I mean, you know, later. Don't die.”

“I'll have to die eventually. You will too.”

She shakes her head, her hair brushing against my eyes.

“Dying. Not living. You can die but be alive when, you, you know, stop living. Stop breathing. Don't die until then.”

There was once a time when I would have asked her to explain what she meant- then there was a time when I would have asked her to help me understand. Now? I think I know what she means.

“Only if you promise not to die before me.”

She hugs a bit harder, and I feel her toes curl around my feet.

“Okay.”


I awaken to the sound of tapping somewhere.

Rin? Did...did she actually get up before me?

Opening my eyes, I find Rin curled into a ball, drooling slightly.

Wait. If that's not Rin...uh oh. It's HANAKO. What time is it?

I bolt out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt. As I run out towards the front door, I manage to get a glance at the bedside clock. It's 1:24 PM.

Wow. I slept in that late?

I look through the peephole to see something totally unexpected. Outside the door is a girl, probably in her mid-twenties. Her purple hair is cropped into a short pixie cut, revealing burn scars-

Wait. THIS is Hanako?

I open the door, and before I can say hello, Hanako bursts into the loft. Gone is the timid Hanako I remember from Yamaku, hiding behind her long hair and tights. In her place is a woman wearing a polo shirt and a skirt, entirely unafraid to show off her body. She turns to me and gives me a hug.

“Hisao! I haven't seen you in so long!”

I, for one, am caught completely off guard. “Well, uh, hello to you too, Hanako. You've, uh, changed. A lot.”

She grins. “Oh, I know. A lot has happened since Yamaku. Been all over the world, met a lot of people, you know, the whole “finding yourself” thing. What about you? You haven't been to the class reunions, and neither has Rin!”

I close the door behind her, and grin sheepishly. “Well, I've been busy. I was doing research with my old professor last year, and I'm finishing grad school now. Class and work keeps me pretty busy, and I don't really see anyone from Yamaku besides Emi and Rin. And Rin is pretty devoted to her art.”

“Well, that's no fun. The next reunion is in, let's see...just under a month? You had better be there,” Hanako says, dropping her shoulder bag off on the kitchen counter. “Anyways, I was surprised when Rin called me up.”


Two Weeks Earlier

I'm sitting at my computer, alphabetically sorting my latest batch of photos from an art showing in Seoul. Sighing, I decide to leave work when it hits me that I'm the last person in the office. I've already shut down my laptop and packed up, and am halfway to the door when the phone starts ringing.

Who would be calling now? The office was technically closed two hours ago...

“Closure Media, Hanako Ikezawa speaking,” I say, doing my best not to sound annoyed. “I'm sorry, but we've-”

“Oh. Yes. Hanako. Hello,” a voice on the other end says. “It's Rin.”

The name strikes me as familiar. Rin, Rin, Rin. Where have I heard that before...? “Oh! Rin, Rin Tezuka! From Yamaku High School?”

“Yes. Unless you are thinking another Rin who has a distinct lack of arms, and you're another Hanako, in which case I'm not certain where one would proceed,” Rin says, almost as if she's disinterested in the conversation. “Anyways, I have been told you're good at taking pictures. For art. And artsy things.”

“Well, uh, I do work as a photojournalist, and I do mainly cover art exhibitions and music. Would you like to meet some time for a drink? I haven't seen you at any of the class reunions! We could catch up, discuss-”

“Nononono. Alcohol is a bad idea,” Rin blurts, cutting me off again. “Wait. Catching up. Hold on. Be back in a second.”

I hear a thump, as if the phone on the other end was just dropped. I don't recall much about Rin, given that Lily and the girls in the newspaper club were the only people I was really friends with, though I do remember her having a reputation for being a great artist, and sort of...different.

“I'm back now. Would you mind coming over? Yes. That would be good. When are you free?”

“Well, I'm free from Monday to Thursday next week-”

“Painting, I think. Week after?”

I sigh and wonder if catching up with Rin is really such a good idea. Still, an article is an article. “Sure, two weeks from now, next Friday?”

“Mhmmm thanks alright bye Hanako,” Rin mumbles before hanging up abruptly.

0000000000000000000000000000000

Sorry for the insanely late update. A potent mix of cold, papers, tests, work, and depression have been kicking my ass recently. Hopefully more'll be up soon!

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Sperance
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by Sperance » Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:15 am

I... What? I mean, I d'awwed in the "Don't die" part (I think I understood that, too). But the part with Hanako confused me. I mean, what IS Rin thinking about?

Demoneq
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by Demoneq » Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:20 am

Sperance wrote:I... What? I mean, I d'awwed in the "Don't die" part (I think I understood that, too). But the part with Hanako confused me. I mean, what IS Rin thinking about?
Aside from wanting to get a portfolio (I guess? It's Rin we're talking about, after all. ;) ), her "catching up" part is probably about getting tired with holding a phone with her foot, dropping it, and picking it up with the other one or so (maybe switching to keeping it by her ear with a shoulder, like people sometimes do, or arm's stump). At least that's how I have read it.

Also, OP, I think one sentence from second hm, chapter? part? or something, could (should?) be written a little differently:
Hisao: "Also, I don't really care about cleaning you, you know."
For me it sounds along the lines of "I don't really give a damn about....", while what Hisao wants to say is probably something like "I don't really mind cleaning you, you know." - that's just a minor nitpick though, that part is understandable anyway. (and I might even be wrong, English isn't my primary language actually)

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gecko
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by gecko » Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:25 pm

Nice first part, but then, the change of narrator is a bit jarring, given that your first posting was all Hisao, I thought we were going for a single first-person narration.
Plus, is the flashback necessary? Hisao could have given us the update about Hanako, and completed it by discussing with her. Of course we'd have lost the classic Rin line "Unless you are thinking another Rin..." so your solution might be better...

Okay, still reading anyway. I want to know where this goes.
99% completion.
Mind-worm meter: Rin>>Emi>Lily>Hanako>>Shizune
Fanfic: The lamb and the fox

neptr
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by neptr » Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:00 pm

These are awesome, man! It's such a relief to find a story about rin that isn't horribly depressing, but is still meaningful. The story really evokes genuine happiness for me, and I'm sure plenty of others. Please, keep up the great work!

rook

Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by rook » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:39 pm

I'm loving it so far.

Keep it going! I'm interested to see how this all turns out.

MintySocks
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by MintySocks » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:49 pm

Thanks for the critiques and comments, y'all! I was experimenting to see if the change in perspective would work, and clearly it didn't >:3 I'm on my reading week break, so I'm currently working on another chapter for you guys. I'll also be putting links to the other chapters in the first post, once I figure out how.

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CarnivalNights
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by CarnivalNights » Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:05 am

Can you do that chapter things in your main post like in the Shizune fanfic "Weekend at Hisao's" and Hanako's fanfic "Reconciliation?"

Loving the story so far. There isn't enough Emi/Rin fanfics.
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MintySocks
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by MintySocks » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:12 am

“Honestly, I was kind of surprised- not by her looking for a photographer, but rather that she called me directly. I mean, I didn't really know Rin that well,” Hanako says as she jumps into the couch in the living room. “I don't recall her being all that friendly with anyone except for you, and I figured if she wanted to contact me it would be through you.”

I settle onto one of the low seats next to the coffee table in the living across from Hanako. “Well, she doesn't see a whole lot of people nowadays. We used to hang out with Emi a lot, but since she got onto the Paralympics team a few months ago she's been busy with practice. Rin isn't really a fan of any of my friends from work or school, and she hasn't done any showings of her art for almost a year now.”

Hanako's jaw drops slightly. “Wow. I mean, no offense meant, but that's nuts. I thought I was devoted to my work- does she just sit there and paint all day, every day?”

“No. Sometimes days are for thinking. Can't paint every day,” says Rin, rounding the corner from the bedroom into the living room. I'm about to say something when I notice.

Oh good lord.

She's naked.


“Rin?”

“Oh, hello Hisao. Good morning. Is it still morning? Oh! And hello Hanako. Thank you for coming.”

Hanako turns turned a slight shade of red. You can almost see the gears in her head grind to a halt as she tries to come up with something to say. I decide to try to fix the situation.

“Um, Rin? Why are you naked?”

Rin's face goes from “groggy-content” to “totally confused.” She looks down at her naked form, then back up at me as if to say, “What kind of question is that?” Rin cocks her head.

“The bed was hot and my underwear was getting sweaty. And rather unpleasant. But the bed was comfy,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “Too comfy. Compromise was necessary. Negotiations were had and a solution was found.”

I find myself sighing deeply and face-palming once again. “Well, that's wonderful, love, but how about you go put on some clothing now that Hanako is here?”

“I considered that, but that was my last pair of underwear. Well, not technically, since my last pair is actually somewhere under the covers, no doubt still all sweaty and moist and smelly. And I would rather not put that on again until it's been washed.”

“Well, go put something on, please. I don't care if you take my underwear. Just put something on. Please.”

Rin's eyes pop for a second, and she goes back into our bedroom. I'm fairly certain I can hear her muttering to herself, and I manage to catch the phrases “own his soul” and “awesome power” amidst quiet cackling before the bedroom door muffles her voice.

Hanako turns to me. “So, uh, is she like this every day?”

I let out a chuckle. “More or less. It confused me at first, but I've learned to enjoy it. People at school, at work, in general- they're boring compared to this. I fell in love with how unpredictable she can be, among other things. Keeps me on my toes. Anyway, what have you been up to?”

“Well, I finished my undergraduate in journalism in three years, then spent two years traveling with my old friends from the newspaper club. We settled down after that, and decided to publish our own magazine and write for our own website as well. Took us a bit, but we finally got our own offices three months ago, moved out of our shared basement suite, and we now publish twice a month,” Hanako says excitedly. “I mean, we have to be doing pretty good if Rin knows about us. Speaking of which, do you know exactly why she wanted me over? We didn't really start covering paintings until last month, so forgive me if I seem ignorant.”

I shrug. “Well, she mentioned that she was sending out portfolios to some museums, although she hasn't told me which ones she's sending to. I mean, she's been putting up pieces here and there, about one or two a month, and people are buying them for a TON of money. I figure she's sending her portfolio somewhere big, and she wants someone professional to do the photos.”

“A ton of money? How big is a ton?”

“Well, let me think. The least she sold a painting for in the last three years was around 16,260 yen, I think. The most she made was for Cardiac Arrest, which I think she sold for around fifty million yen-”

Hanako nearly jumps out of her seat. “Did you say MILLION?”

“Um, yeah. I don't make nearly as much as she does,” I say sheepishly. “It's how we managed to afford such a nice place, and how she paid for all the little additions that make the place easier for her to use.”

Hanako slumps into her seat, pouting. “I wish I was good at art.”

“You are,” says Rin as she comes back out of the bedroom in her trademark yoga pants and tank top.

Note to self: buy Rin clothing that does NOT include yoga pants or tank tops.

Then make her wear them more than once a month.


“You can take pictures. Good ones, none of that black-and-white stupid blurry stuff everyone else has on Mixi. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Photos that pull, pictures that have weight, meaning.”

Hanako smiles a bit, evidently still in shock at how much money Rin has. “I'm flattered, but I don't think I'm that good. So? How have you been, Rin? Hisao was just telling me about your-”

“Not yet. Photos are more important right now. Digital camera?”

“Um, yes, I do use a digital camera.”

“Follow me, please. All the paintings are in the art room,” Rin says insistently. “We can catch up over dinner tonight.” With that , she goes running off to her painting room. I shrug, and beckon for Hanako to come along.


/////////////////////////////////////////
Thanks for your patience! I need to go restock on medication and not miss therapy. It's expensive! Seriously.
As of this chapter, the first post will now contain links to the other chapters, and links to the new fic that I'm working on, which will contain glorious amounts of smut and femdom.
Thanks for reading and as usual feedback is wonderful :D
Last edited by MintySocks on Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Cropsy
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by Cropsy » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:26 am

Haha, great so far! Hope the other story doesn't take too much time away from this one, would love to see more of this.

The "own his soul" part made me laugh, though it took me a moment to get it. Though, the cackling part might have been a bit too out there, doesn't sound very Rinnish.
Last edited by Cropsy on Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by Mahorfeus » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:49 am

50,000,000 USD? Did I read that right?

I need to get good at art.

Seriously though, I like where it's going so far. I agree that the cackling was a little out there, though.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
The verdict is (finally) in:
Hanako > Rin > Emi > Lilly = Shizune

MintySocks
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by MintySocks » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:58 am

Duly noted! Also, that's 50 million YEN, not USD. Rin's not that great.

Yet.

FishyBroski
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by FishyBroski » Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:48 am

Can't wait for your the next part, Minty!(:

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WolfStreak
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Re: Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

Post by WolfStreak » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:38 am

Great post man however i noticed in this line ..........."she's been putting up pieces here and there, about one or two a month, and people are buying them "From a TON of money" did you mean "For a ton of money"?
Streak as in streaking by at the speed of light.
Not the naked kind of streak...
That would just be odd >.>

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