Tripping

[Mirage_GSM]

It's weekend again. I promised a new chapter every weekend, and so far I'm able to deliver

*****

Day 1, 18:45
I check my watch. It is almost time for departure. Mr. Nomiya asked me to make sure everyone was ready in time, but I am going to need a little help...

I strain my ears to hear a familiar voice and after finding one, turn in that direction. „Hisao?“

A short pause, then I hear two sets of steps coming my way. One is the mechanic clicking of prosthetics. That would be Emi then.

„What is it Lilly?“ Hisao sounds like he is in good spirits.

„Mr. Nomiya asked me to make sure everyone was here in time. Could you please do a headcount for me? I do not want to shout to get everyone's attention. There should be sixteen students here.“

Another pause while Hisao is counting. „I'm sorry, Lilly, counting us, there are only twelve people here.“

„Thirteen. There's Nanami over there,“ Emi chirps in.

„Right. So who is missing?“

„Well, first of all Kenji, and I can't see Hanako anywhere.“ Hisao ponders for a while. „I'm not sure who else was going to come.“

„Oh, I know! Mai is still missing. She probably has problems with her luggage. I'll go and help her.“ Quickly retreating steps tell me that Emi is heading for the girl's dorm.

I turn back to Hisao. „Hanako is going to be here in time. She already brought her luggage, but she went back for a while to avoid the crowd. Could I ask you to go look for Kenji?“

Hisao groans slightly, but he doesn't complain. „Sure. I'll be right back.“

As he is leaving, the bus arrives in front of the main gate. The others get busy storing away their luggage, but I enter the bus and reserve two seats in the back for Hanako and myself.

When I am about to leave the bus to tend to my own luggage I collide with another person, who is just sprinting up the stairs. I stumble back, but before I fall a strong hand catches my arm.

„Oh, I'm sorry, Satou, I didn't think anybody was already in the bus.“

I know the voice, but I can't place it... „Ishii, is that you?“

„Oh, yes, it's me.“ I notice that he smells of cigarette smoke. He is lucky I am not Hakamichi. „Are you really okay?“

I smile. „Yes, no harm done, but you should be more careful. There are people on this trip for whom such a collision would be dangerous.

In the ensuing silence, I can almost hear him mentally going through the list of our classmates on this trip and coming up empty. Hisao is still making quite a fuss about whom he tells about his condition. In the end Ishii settles for an „I will,“ and steps aside so I can leave the bus.

Outside there is quite a commotion, and by the time I am through, I have almost lost my bearing. It takes me a minute to find the place where I left Hanako's and my luggage.

As I pick up my suitcase, I feel a presence next to me – one I know very well. „Hello Hanako, could you give me a hand with the luggage?“

„S-Sure.“ Together we carry our luggage to the bus where the driver stores it away in the belly. I tell Hanako about the seats I reserved for us, and her relief as she thanks me is obvious.

„Hey, Lilly, I found Mai, and we're both here now!“

I turn in the direction of Emi's voice, while Hanako ducks behind me. „Thank you Emi. Do you see Hisao and Kenji anywhere?“

A pause. „Hisao is just coming back from the dorms, but he's alone.“

I frown, wondering what that is supposed to mean. I hear Hisao's steps coming closer. „Kenji's door is locked and no one answers. I don't think he's even in there. I pretended to walk away, and usually, he'd come out to check if I'm really gone.“

I sigh. I guess this is more than I can deal with myself... „Hisao, do you see Mr. Nomiya anywhere?“

[Sperance]

Another nice one! Can't wait for next weekend to see who's next

[Mirage_GSM]

I do realize that weekend hasn't begun everywhere yet, but where I am it has, and I'm feeling generous, and my buffer allows it, so there'll be an extra chapter this week.

*****

Day 1, 19:15
It looks like it's finally going to start.

We're about fifteen minutes late. Apparently one of the students didn't show up. The teacher – I think his name is Nomiya – is furious, but it looks like he won't wait any longer. We do have to catch the train at Sendai station, so it probably can't be helped.

I climb into the bus. It is almost half empty, but we are the smallest of the three groups. I would have preferred to go to Kyoto myself, but the head nurse told me that going to a big city might be bad for my asthma. That's a solid argument. I don't want to repeat my last experience with a seizure sooner than necessary. In Hokkaido at least there will be plenty of fresh air.

I scan the faces sitting in the bus. I think three of the girls are from my class, but they are all chatting with their friends, and I don't want to intrude. I don't know anyone else here. Not surprising, considering I've only been here for two weeks.

I quietly slink into a seat in the front, directly behind one of the nurses and quietly take out one of my books. Soon everyone is seated, the teacher has completed his headcount – still one short – and the bus is leaving the school grounds.

My book is a fantasy novel. I've heard it is about Christian mythology, but it seems a bit strange with all the talking animals and the...

„Hey, you're the new student, Kenta, right?“ I am so startled by the voice I nearly drop my book. Instead I put my finger between the pages and turn around.

The girl in the seat behind me is from my class. She's the one with the leg prosthetics... „Yes, Kenta Yoshida. And you're...“ I try to remember her name, but come up blank.

„Emi. Emi Ibarazaki, at your service.“ She winks at me. „You were sitting there all alone, so I thought you'd like someone to talk to, but if you'd rather continue to read your book, just...“

„No!“ That probably came out wrong... „I mean... I can read later, it's just...“ I hesitate, unsure of how to continue.

„You're new and you don't know anyone yet.“ This is from the boy sitting next to Emi. „Relax, I've only been here for three months myself.“ He extends his hand. „My name's Hisao, nice to meet you.“

I take his hand. „Same here.“

„Say, I haven't seen you around after class at all since you came here.“ Emi seems to have a curious streak. „Did you join any clubs or do you spend all your time reading?“

„Neither. My mom and I just moved into town the last week of the holidays, and in the two weeks since then I went home to help her unpack and sort stuff after class. I do live in the dormitories though.“

„So no clubs yet? Would you care to join one?“

Emi seems like a nice person. I certainly wouldn't mind spending time with her. „Sure why not. What club were you thinking about?“

„Track and field.“

„Track and...“ I trail off.

„Yup, I'm the captain of the club and we're always looking for new members. Why so incredulous? Because of those?“ She lifts her right leg to show off her prosthetic.

„No, not at all,“ I am quick to say, though that is certainly part of it. „It's just that I'm going to have to pass.“ I pat my chest lightly. „Asthma.“

„Oh.“ She looks disappointed for a moment but brightens up immediately. „Well, I'm sure you'll find a club to join. In the meantime let me introduce the others on this trip.“

She leaves her seat behind me and moves to the empty one across the aisle. Hisao moves from his window seat to the one Emi has just vacated.

Emi is kneeling on her seat with her arms upon the backrest, pointing out the various people. I turn around to follow her gestures.

„This girl here, who's counting the insects on the window, is Rin.“ She hesitates. „If that's what she's doing. You can never be sure...“

When she hears her name, Rin turns around and waves her arm stumps at me without visible enthusiasm. Then she turns back to the window.

„Don't mind her, She's like that sometimes. It'll pass. The boy behind her is Takumi, from class 3-2“

I already learned that class 3-2 is for blind and vision impaired students, and I can see the cane leaning against Takumi's seat.

Emi continues. „The girl across from him is Ikuno. She's from class 3-3, Hisao's class. Behind her...“

„I know, she's from our class... Mai, right?“

Emi looks a bit miffed, maybe because I remembered Mai's name and not hers. But that girl has fascinated me ever since I first saw her. I still don't know what exactly is wrong with her. She seems to have extreme difficulties moving, but she's not using crutches or a wheelchair like the others who are mono- or paraplegic.

Before I can dwell on the matter, Emi continues. „Yes, right. Next to her is Nanami from 3-1. Do you drink or smoke?“

I wonder what that question is supposed to mean, but I answer truthfully. „No, I don't drink, and I think I'd die if I tried to smoke.“ She shoots me a quizzical look. „Asthma, remember?

She grins. „Anyway, if you did, you shouldn't get caught by her. She'd rattle on you to a teacher without hesitation.“

„Behind those two are Leon and Ooki, both from 3-3. Ooki is short for Motoki, and before you ask, he picked that nickname himself. Leon is short for... something French no one can pronounce. He has a speech problem, but you can talk to him normally. Sometimes people treat him like a retard, and he doesn't like that.“

„Next row, there's Jun. He's the one you should talk to if you need a smoke or a drink.“ Her face shows a great deal of disdain. „Not that I'd recommend doing so, but I don't need to tell you that. Jun is the captain of the baseball team. He's pretty good, too. I don't know how good he could be if he didn't do that to his body.“

„The two in the back row are Lilly and Hanako. Lilly is the class rep of 3-2 and Hanako is... Well, she's very shy, so try not to scare her or anything.“

I notice the two girls – apparently twins, but with differently coloured hair bands – who sit by themselves on the left side of the bus. „And what about those two?“

Emi follows my gesture. „Oh, Mizuki and Misaki. Just ignore them. If you don't know sign language, they'll ignore you as well. They're both deaf and mute, and they both don't care to communicate with hearing people. If someone knows sign, maybe they'll deign to recognize his presence...“

It is obvious that there's not much love lost between Emi and those two, so I refrain from asking further questions. Instead I try to remember all the new names. Jun... Ikuno... Hanako... What was the name of the French guy again? I guess I'll have to ask again later. For now I am interrupted by Hisao tapping my shoulder.

„What's that you're reading?“ I show him the cover. „Ah, I heard about that. Is it any good?“

I shrug. „I don't know yet. I only started yesterday. So far it's a bit strange, see there's those four kids...“

[CPU]

Four kids... Fantasy novel... Christian mythology... and talking animals...
Am I the only one thinking "Chronicles of Narnia"?

Oh, and really good story. I'm liking all the different viewpoints it's being told from, and I look forward to the next chapter!

[scott1and]

Liking this more and more , and this could get really interesting if you keep switching view points. Just curious though, is it going to be all switchy all the way through or is this for dramatic effect at the start of the story?

[Mirage_GSM]

Ah, someone noticed a pattern
Yes, each chapter will have a different narrator - though by necessity those will repeat after 15 chapters at most... 16 if you include the Kenji one.
At the moment I'm planning to keep it to the students, so no Nomiya or nurse chapters.
And in case you're wondering: Next up will be Mai.

[Mirage_GSM]

And here's the "regular" chapter for this weekend:

*****

Day 1, 20:30
There is a loud clattering sound to my left. I carefully stop walking and look what happened, though I have a pretty good guess already. Right. I dropped my luggage. I fucking HATE this wreck of a body!

I find my feet and turn around. Bend my knees... Where's my hand? Ah there... Extend arm. Grip the handle. Close fingers. Straighten knees...

„Do you need help?“

The unfamiliar voice startles me, and as I look up I promptly drop the suitcase again. Fuck! I decide to leave it on the ground for now and turn towards the voice instead.

„I'm sorry, did I startle you?“ It's the new boy who joined our class after summer break.

„No problem, I really could use some help... Yoshida, is it?“

He smiles. „Please call me Kenta.“ He extends his hand. Bummer. I look down my right side to find my hand. As I finally manage to raise it, Kenta is already starting to withdraw his hand. I raise my head to see his expression. He looks hurt. Maybe he thinks I don't want to shake his hand...

„No, it's okay. I just need a few seconds.“ Get a grip girl! You can do this. I repeat the process, until my hand reaches his, and with a sense of accomplishment I clasp it. Pathetic. I managed to shake his hand and am proud of it. „I'm Mai, nice to meet you.“

His handshake is very soft, as if he's afraid he might break me.

The introductions done, he bends down to pick up my suitcase and effortlessly pulls it along with his left hand, while his right hand is pulling his own. Of course it's effortless. It's only myself who has problems with stuff like that.

„So... Shall we go? The train will leave in about half an hour.“

„It's okay, it's not that far to our platform.“

I frown, but quickly glance to the ground so he doesn't see it. It might not be far, but it will still take me a while to get there. Fortunately I can handle simple walking quite well by now, if I'm not distracted. I look at my legs and start walking, Kenta falling into step besides me.

We walk along in silence. I'd like to chat, but I have to concentrate on walking. Kenta seems to struggle for a topic. „Is there anything down there?“

I stop dead in my tracks and look up at his face, trying to decide if he's making fun of me, but there's only genuine puzzlement there. Puzzlement which is rapidly making way for dread.

„I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that, I...“

I sigh – a bit too audibly maybe. He obviously doesn't know about my 'problem', so I'd best get it out of the way right now. I walk two steps to the next wall and lean against it in a way that I hope looks casual. I don't usually fall over in a conversation, but I'd rather save myself the embarrassment. Then I turn back to Kenta, who is looking at me with tense expectation. „So what do you think is wrong with me?“

Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it. He turns beet red and starts to fidget. „Well... I thought... maybe some kind of partial paralysis... or something like that?“

Time for a demonstration. I look for my left hand and bring it up to my belt where I hook in my thumb. Then I look for my right hand and bring it up as well. With both hands in clear sight I start doing a complicated set of gestures I copied from some anime show. It took me ages to learn to do this, but the looks on people's faces when they see me do it would make it worth the effort – if I could look up to see them.

I look up. „Do they look partially paralyzed to you?“

His face has become even redder. I hope he doesn't have some kind of heart problem like that Hisao guy Rin was talking about. Better to stop teasing him. „Relax. Actually that's what most people think when they see me.“

„So what's...“

„Close your eyes!“ He hesitates a second, but does as he is told. „Now stretch out your arms and touch your nose!“

He does so effortlessly, evoking a bout of jealousy in me. „I'm not drunk, if that's what you're thinking.“

„I know, but how did you do that?“

He looks at me confusedly. „What do you mean?“

„You didn't see your hands, yet you could use them to touch your nose. How did you do it?“

I see him pondering the question but coming up blank. „I have no idea,“ he finally admits.

„Have you ever heard of something called 'proprioception'?“ He shakes his head. „Me neither until two years ago. It's a sense just like sight, smell, touch, hearing or taste. It grants you an awareness of your body. You know where your limbs are even if you don't see them.“

Understanding dawns on his face, so I continue. „What I have is something called 'Proprioception Deficit Disorder' or 'Descartes' Disease'. It basically causes my brain to forget that I have a body. Nobody knows how or why I got it. Nobody knows what to do about it. Sometimes it goes away on its own after a few years, sometimes it doesn't.“

I see him trying to assimilate all the information. „So, when you looked down at your feet earlier...“

„...It was so I don't stumble or fall down. I don't know when my foot will hit the pavement, so I have to observe it with my eyes.“

„What about when you touch something?“

I cautiously take a step away from the wall, and move my left hand up to touch it. „If I closed my eyes now I could tell that there was a wall somewhere within one meter of me, but I couldn't tell if it was in front of me or behind me.“

I lift my gaze to find him looking at me. Pity? No, I've seen pity before. This is something else, but before I can further analyze it, he averts his gaze embarrassedly. „Uhm... I'm sorry for earlier. I must have seemed like a jerk.“

He's kind of cute when he is like this. „No harm done. I have yet to meet anyone, who has heard of this disease before, excluding the neurologist my doctor sent me to. But we should get a move on, or we'll miss the train. I can't run, you know.“

As we walk the final steps and rejoin our classmates at the platform, Kenta's gaze keeps popping up in my mind. I find myself looking forward to getting to know that guy better in the coming days...

*****

Next up: Ooki

[CPU]

Another great chapter! I hadn't even heard of that disease before. What are the odds I'd learn something from here?
I can't wait to find out how Ooki views the world.

[Mirage_GSM]

Mai's condition is real if extremely rare.
I cannot guarantee my description is accurate, though, because first hand accounts are hard to find. I learned about the condition from here, and it remains one of the best sources I could find on the topic.

[AapoAlas]

Just for your reading pleasure here's another good place to read up on Proprioception Deficit Disorder. It actually resembles Mai's case so much that I was certain this was the place Mirage more or less "copied" Mai's character from. I'm surprised to find that that seems to not be the case.
Anyhow, it's a scientific article about two cases of PDD. Very informative all in all but maybe a bit of a heavy read.

[Mirage_GSM]

Very interesting, but going from the title I wouldn't have expected the article to be about PDD.
The person described therein lost not only his sense of proprioception, but also the "normal" sense of touch. Note that Mai retains that.

[Mirage_GSM]

Time for the next chapter. Enjoy

*****

Day 1, 22:00
„No can do, Leon.“ I take Leon's backpack and throw it on the other bed. „Can't you see I'm much too fat for just one bed? I'll need both beds on this side.“

He laughs and Hisao joins in. It's not really a problem. These compartments are made for four people and we are only three, so it's actually quite spacious, but I made Leon laugh, and I always count that as a personal victory. He is always much too tense about everything.

After we boarded the train we just threw our luggage into our compartments and immediately went to the dining car to have a late dinner. It was actually quite good, compared to the stuff you usually get on trains, but the servings could have been bigger. We only just returned here and started to make ourselves comfortable.

„You shouldn't have eaten double servings, Ooki,“ Hisao teases me. „Then you wouldn't have to worry about the bed breaking down beneath you.“

„Oh, I know how to solve that problem.“ I push my suitcase beneath the bed. „See, now it's supported from beneath, and I can sleep peacefully.“ Actually my peaceful sleep is hardly assured, but I don't even need to mention that.

I sit down on the bed. It creaks slightly, and I make a show of wincing, but I know it is certified for more than my 125kg.

„Case... er... break?“

„Actually, that is a good objection, Leon.“ I pull the suitcase back out and take out a collection of chocolates. „There's nothing fragile in there, but I wouldn't want my emergency rations to get squashed.“

Smiling, I offer a handful of candies to my friends which they graciously accept.

There's a knock on the door, and two seconds later it slides to the side revealing Emi and Rin.

Emi immediately spots the sweets in my hands and shoots an accusatory glance Hisao's way. „Hisao, what's that you're eating there?“

Hisao is frantically trying to swallow, so I answer for him. „Strawberry Kit Kat. Want one? I also have Red Bean and Ginger Ale flavour.“

Emi shoots me a disgusted look and turns to Hisao. „You know you shouldn't eat stuff like that. It's bad for you.“

Now Hisao looks annoyed as well. „Come on, it was just...“

„I'll take one.“

Emi turns around and looks at Rin in surprise. „What?“

„I'd like to try one. Red Bean flavour sounds interesting.“

I suspect Rin's sudden interest in chocolate bars is more or less a ruse to cut short the brewing domestic quarrel between Hisao and Emi, but I place the candy box on the small table in the middle of the room.

Rin sits down on the empty bed, deftly takes one and tries to remove the wrapper. This seems to be a bit difficult using only her feet, but eventually she manages and takes a bite, chewing extensively.

She sits there thinking before venturing an opinion. „This is good. May I try another?“

I gesture at the box, signalling my assent, and Rin grabs a Ginger Ale Kit Kat.

Emi sits down next to Hisao, their quarrel already forgotten.

Meanwhile Rin has finished her second Kit Kat bar, proclaiming it tasty as well and is reaching for a third. She is becoming better with the wrappers as well, taking ever less time to reveal the chocolate beneath.

She must really like those candies, for she shows no signs of stopping. As I watch in awe, she continues eating, and the pile of wrappings on the table grows larger and larger.

I've lost count of how many Kit Kat bars she has devoured by now. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if I really had that many to begin with, but does it really matter?

All those candies are beginning to have an effect by now. Rin's usually scrawny figure becomes more and more bloated until her bulk has doubled, then tripled. I want to tell her to stop, that eating so much is dangerous, but all I can do is watch in fascination.

She is almost as fat now as I am myself. This can't be good! I have to...

„BAM! I was lying face down in the sand, and that was the last time I ever tried long jump... Oh I'm sorry Ooki, did I wake you?“

Gradually my mind adjusts to reality again. I focus my sleepy eyes on Emi. „Yes, you did, but it's okay, I probably wouldn't be able to sleep at all this night if you hadn't.“

I turn my head to look at Rin, who is still sitting on the bed next to me – scrawny as ever – and looking at me with a curious gaze.

„Say, Ooki, do you have enough dreams for all the time you're sleeping?“

Images from my dream pop up in my head, and I feel my face flushing red. „Uh, yes, usually I do.“ I try to avoid the subject as best I can.

„You know, you're very lucky. I often try to dream more, but I can't seem to manage falling asleep. Of course people always tell me, I dream even when I am awake, but somehow it's not quite the same...“ She looks at me as if she expects some deep insights from me.

„I... I think I know what you mean.“ I don't know, if that is true, but I forge ahead anyway. „Dreams you have while you're awake are much more... ordinary.“ Though I'm not sure if that is true for Rin as well. For all I know she could be having crazy dreams all the time.

Rin seems to give that some serious thought. „Maybe you're right. So you have a lot of unordinary dreams then?“

„Well, guess you could say that, but there are also times when I can't sleep at all.“

Rin nods sagely. „I know. I have those, too. It's worst during math lessons, because Mrs. Tamamura has such a grating voice.“ She sighs as if the inability to sleep through math lessons were a terrible burden for her to bear... Maybe it is.

„Did you ever try to paint your dreams?“

„No, I can't draw anything but stick figures. When I was younger I tried to write them down for some time, but I stopped somehow.“ That was when my little brother found my dream diary, and I was subjected to five weeks of ridicule.

„Rin... ah... and paint... Ooki.“

„Great idea, Leon!“ Hisao turns to Rin. „Why don't you have Ooki tell you about his dreams and you paint them.“

Rin tilts her head to the side. „I don't know. Why don't I?“

Hisao ignores the question. „Ooki, were you dreaming of anything just now?“

„Uh... Let's wait until we're in Teshikaga. Rin doesn't have any canvas here, and I'm sure I'll have other more unordinary dreams until then.“

„But...“

I'm saved by a knock on the door. “Come in!”

The door opens, and Mr. Nomiya stands in the corridor. „It's quarter past eleven. Girls, back to your compartments. The train is not going to wait for you if you oversleep.“ He tries to look strict but fails horribly.

Emi looks disappointed, but doesn't protest. She and Rin say their goodbyes and two minutes later we're on our own again.

„Well, I guess I'll get ready for bed.“ I grab my toilet bag and head for the tiny lavatory. „I think I'm still a bit sleepy.“ That part is a lie, but it should prevent Hisao and Leon from asking further about my dream...

*****

next: Ikuno

[moonpalace]

You are a truely brilliant writer.

Do you edit your work many times or does your streamlined, elegant prose simply flow forth like a beautiful stream from the unfathomed depths of your creative mind?

Those paragraphs where Rin begins eating more and more chocolates really drew me in. You built up and sustained the suspension of disbelief by starting with such a simple idea and cleverly developing it untill "BAM!" and I literally felt I was poor Ooki, sharply awakened from the sublime surreality.

Fanastic work unlocking the potential power of first person perspective. Eagerly awaiting your next installment.

.*edit- I forgot to mention, I had a real sense of that feeling which I have often experienced in the hypnopompic state. It was quite captivating.

[Mirage_GSM]

I don't know wheter I would call myself 'creative'. In fact the creative part of writing is the one that is the hardest for me...
Before I started writing the story, I chose the characters, made a few notes about personal backgrounds and read up on ther illnesses/disabilities. I have a broad concept of what should happen in the story, but the small stories in each chapter are what's truly difficult. I usually spend a few days just going through the possibilities in my head.
Once that is done, the actual writing is relatively easy. Takes me no more than one or two hours to write down one of those chapters with little to no editing.
After that I might spend another few hours debating the placement of a comma with my editors, but what that has taught me about English grammar is invaluable

Of course, some characters are easier to write than others. Ooki is very fun to write, though the dream sequence was a bit tricky. I might comment on the hard to write characters once we get to their scenes.

[Petermeter]

Heh, the comma discussion was one thing where I learned about my mistakes, too. Not that I'm gonna change because of that
Anyways, Ookis chapter was one of my favourites so far, so I thought I'd comment on it, too.