Tripping

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Re: Tripping

Post by Guest » Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:18 pm

WoopSlim wrote:EmixHisao is such a nice couple and LeonxHanako is even more awesome
Everything about this statement is wrong.
Just thought I'd let you know.

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WoopSlim
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Re: Tripping

Post by WoopSlim » Tue Oct 04, 2011 2:15 am

Guest wrote:
WoopSlim wrote:EmixHisao is such a nice couple and LeonxHanako is even more awesome
Everything about this statement is wrong.
Just thought I'd let you know.
Whatever, bro. I don't get what you mean ;D
derp

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Re: Tripping

Post by moonpalace » Tue Oct 04, 2011 2:35 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Regarding Lilly though, you might have noticed that I'm not exactly going for natural speech in the first place. (I've taken a few liberties with her speech patterns compared to the VN to make her more distinct from the rest of the cast.)
Yeah it's a fair point, it's just that I can't say I recall hearing "she went a bit into shock" (reading it, I keep automatically editing it) and as a native English speaker I believe it's grammatically incorrect. Passable perhaps, but I think it's colloquial rather than upper class.
WoopSlim wrote:Another nice chapter (b'_')b. Hope you will write more awesome stuff, EmixHisao is such a nice couple and LeonxHanako is even more awesome, biting my nails and waiting for futher chapters.
I share the sentiment :wink:

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Re: Tripping

Post by scott1and » Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:35 pm

moonpalace wrote:
WoopSlim wrote:Another nice chapter (b'_')b. Hope you will write more awesome stuff, EmixHisao is such a nice couple and LeonxHanako is even more awesome, biting my nails and waiting for futher chapters.
I share the sentiment :wink:
I second it :mrgreen:
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Re: Tripping

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:18 pm

moonpalace wrote:Yeah it's a fair point, it's just that I can't say I recall hearing "she went a bit into shock" (reading it, I keep automatically editing it) and as a native English speaker I believe it's grammatically incorrect. Passable perhaps, but I think it's colloquial rather than upper class.
Yes, it is a bit colloquial, but your version sounds just as colloquial to me. I went for a third one. Hope that is better.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Tripping

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:45 am

New Chapter... Good Luck! 8)

Day 4, 9:00
It seems like everyone has finally gathered. The driver is also waiting, so our daytrip is probably going to start soon. I wonder if it will be interesting. What was that dream Ooki told me about yesterday?

Mr Nomiya said it would be interesting, but I wonder how he knows. He’s never been to Akan before, so he shouldn’t be able to know. But then he’s a teacher, and teachers are supposed to know all kinds of things, so…

“Hey, Rin!” Emi calls from the door of the bus. “Hurry up, or all the best seats will be taken!” Mom didn't like the book I got for her birthday.

I remember it was something about airplanes… I walk over to her. “Aren’t the seats fixed to the floor of the bus?”

“Of course. Why?” But how could teachers know things they couldn't know?

“So how is anybody going to take them?”

No, it was about a waterfall. Well, Airplanes would have been nice as well. She ignores my question like she does sometimes. It is mildly annoying, but she probably just doesn’t want to admit that she said something stupid. Mr. Mutou knows a lot about physics and math. I wonder why that is.

I walk to the front of the bus where most of the seats are still empty. From the back I hear Ooki’s voice. “You sure you want to sit next to me again, Leon? That means you get only half as much space as everyone else.” A clearing in a forest with a lake in the middle.

I turn around, and Ooki catches my gaze. He winks at me and plops down into his seat, disappearing from my view. He must have learned that in school. She always used to like reading.

I see that Takumi sat down in the seat behind me, directly in front of the exit. Maybe he is trying to be the first to get out of the bus when we have a break. Does he have a weak bladder? I know he is at Yamaku for his eyes, but he could also have a weak bladder. I’ll have to ask him… Mrs. Tsukamoto knows many old stories.

As I am just about to open my mouth, Mr. Nomiya calls for order and tells everyone to sit down. Maybe she doesn't have as much time now that she took up this volunteer work.

“Good morning, everyone! Today’s trip will be to Lake Akan and the town of Akanko, where we will be able to take in the famous scenery and visit a small Ainu museum or two. Don’t worry, the drive will be only about half an hour, so we should be there before you know it.”

Oh well, if it is only half an hour even Takumi’s bladder should be up to the task. Water the colour of sapphires.

I move over to the window seat and take in the view as the bus drives from the youth hostel’s parking lot through Teshikaga and then west towards Lake Akan. After a few minutes the fields are replaced by thick forests…

So, no book for Christmas. It might make an interesting painting. She probably reads a lot. It's kind of hard to paint something I haven't seen myself, though… But I don't think Mr. Nomiya learned about Lake Akan in school. Gloves might not be a good idea either. At least I never heard about a lesson about Lake Akan. Sweets are a bit unimaginative, but I guess I can't go wrong there. Not that I ever saw most of the stuff I paint. I should get something special, maybe have some sent from abroad…

“Hey Rin!” I turn my head to face Emi who has climbed onto the seat next to me. “You dreaming or something? I swear you’re worse than Ooki sometimes.” What were those chocolate biscuits, that Ooki had yesterday, called again?

I brighten at the thought. “So I’m making progress?” Maybe he's a psychic?

Emi looks as if she’s having trouble understanding my simple question. Not with my eyes at least. I usually see them with my mind. Maybe she didn’t get enough sleep tonight? No, I think she was asleep most of the night. It must be something else.

I decide to go easy on her and don’t press the subject. But even that is hard if I only have Ooki's descriptions to go by.

I think he said they were from a British company… The silence between us stretches for a few moments, then Emi shrugs. “Anyway, Hisao and I are going for a walk around the lake later to look for marimo. Do you want to come along?” Oh, well, I'll just have to give it a try. That would be cool. And to think that I never noticed before.

I ponder the question. Cadbury Fingers! I'll ask Ooki where he got them and order an extra large pack. “No, thanks.” Mr. Nomiya told us we should visit the Ainu museum and that it would have some interesting exhibits. I wonder why he never told us about that.

Emi seems to wait for me to say more… Wait, did I say that last thing out loud? I don’t think I did. Should I explain to Emi now? She would think the museum is boring anyway. Maybe she’s right. The museum could be pretty boring, but it’s hard to know in advance. I mean, I hope it’s not but it could be. Anyway, I should tell Emi and let her decide for herself.

When I turn to Emi, I find that she has returned to her seat and is chatting with Hisao, Mai and Kenta, so I return to look outside at the forests. I think I can see the water of Lake Akan glittering through the trees…
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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WoopSlim
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Re: Tripping

Post by WoopSlim » Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:07 am

Understanding Rin is hard -_- especially when you are stoned. How can you write in such manner? Cuz it doesn't look like it is difficult for you to write from her PoV or you use special stuff to write about Rin I dunno LSD?
derp

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Re: Tripping

Post by scott1and » Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:22 am

Thought you got Rin just right there, well done. Pity it was just a short entry though, oh well :mrgreen:
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Re: Tripping

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:14 pm

WoopSlim wrote:Understanding Rin is hard -_- especially when you are stoned. How can you write in such manner? Cuz it doesn't look like it is difficult for you to write from her PoV or you use special stuff to write about Rin I dunno LSD?
Nope. Never touched any drugs in my life - including tobacco and alcohol.As to how I write Rin's chapters:
1) Write the chapter normally.
2) Write the three other trains of thought.
3) Mix them all together.
You see? No need for drugs at all... In fact I strongly doubt I could have written this under the influence of drugs.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Tripping

Post by WoopSlim » Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:06 pm

No tobacco and alcohol ever? Are you the Übermensch? Just kidding :D. Anyway don't start smoking, now I'm trying to give up smoking cigarettes but it turned out to be harder than I thought.

P.S. But sometimes it's so good to smoke a spliff or two with your friends. By the way a lot of writers used drugs while they were working on their books but anyway it is a way of self destraction.
derp

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Re: Tripping

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:09 pm

WoopSlim wrote:No tobacco and alcohol ever?
Well, I tried a glass of cidre when I was... fifteen? Anyway, I didn't like the taste. Watching drunk friends didn't make me want to emulate their examples. Haven't felt the compulsion to drink alcohol ever since.
Regarding tobacco: My grandfather smoked cigars, and I've grown to dislike tobacco from early childhood. Not that I think I would have started smoking anyway. Life is too short already to artificially shorten it any further.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Tripping

Post by griffon8 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:59 pm

I was six when I became convinced never to smoke. My mom smoked, and one day I found a lit cigarette left unattended in an ashtray. I took one puff out of curiosity.

Never again. Probably helped that she smoked Pall Mall Unfiltered.

As for drinking, I indulge occasionally. Baileys Irish Cream is my favorite right now. Too bad I can't drink while taking the pain medication I'm using. :x
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Re: Tripping

Post by Duncan Idaho » Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:17 pm

I'm liking what I'm reading thus far, which is surprising for me as I generally don't much care for fan fiction and especially adding original characters in fan fiction due to the high tendency to have them be Mary Sues. I think you've managed to avoid that (the Mary Sue part) pretty handily, though, kudos.
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Also:
Shizune = Lilly > Emi > Misha > ... > Rin = Hanako

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Re: Tripping

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:41 am

It's time for Ooki once again:

Day 4, 11:30
This time it’s not only the Art Club who decided to come to the museum. I’m a bit relieved by that, since I’m no longer the odd one out.

The non-members who did come along are not exactly the most sociable types, though. I guess Lilly would be nice enough, but it’s hard to approach her with Hanako clinging to her every step of the way… And of course Mizuki would be hard to talk to even if she deigned to notice anyone who doesn’t ‘speak’ sign.

Mr. Nomiya is leading the way through the small village - if you can even call it a village… It’s little more than a few houses along the Marimo National Highway. So far I’ve seen a school, a small onsen and the visitor’s center which Mr. Nomiya said we’d visit later.

For now, we’re leaving the village and are walking along a well-beaten path through a light forest towards the lake.

There are a few other tourists going the same way. I wonder what is so interesting over there…

After only about 100 metres the forest ends, and we’re standing at the shores of Lake Akan, but the spectacular view is somehow diminished by the half-dozen ramshackle grass huts huddled on the shore.

A small, elderly man is waiting at the path bowing slightly to Mr. Nomiya as we approach. “Greetings. You are Mr. Nomiya, I assume? My name is Kayano. We talked over the phone last week.”

Mr. Nomiya returns the bow, and stands next to Mr. Kayano to address us. “Attention boys and girls! Mr. Kayano here works for the visitor’s center and he will tell us some interesting things about the Ainu people. His ancestors were Ainu themselves, so don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions.”

We follow Mr. Kayano among the huts. When we reach the approximate center he stops and starts to talk. “The first records of the Ainu people date back to the 12th century of the western calendar, when Mongol tribes reported contact with them. Back then the Ainu populated all of Hokkaido and part of the island Sakhalin now belonging to Russia, but they may have lived even in the northern parts of Honshu before that. They were hunter-gatherers and lived mostly close to lakes and rivers to supplement their diet by fishing.”

“In the Tokugawa Era contacts with the Japanese increased and the Shogunate encouraged trade between the two cultures. Mostly these contacts were peaceful in nature with the exception of Shakushain’s Revolt in 1669.”

“The Meiji Era spelled great changes for the Ainu, for the new government moved to formally annex Hokkaido as a part of Japan and tried to assimilate the Ainu into the Japanese culture…”

Great. A history lesson. And a boring one at that. I tune out Mr. Kayano’s ramblings and look around at the others. Rin looks about as bored as I feel, but then she always does. Looking back, that may be the reason I never talked to her much before this trip. She always seemed so aloof. Now I realize she isn’t aloof at all. It’s just… It’s just the way she is. And I think the way she is is really cool.

Leon is fighting a losing battle trying to keep up translating Mr. Kayano’s wall of text for the twins. I wonder why he even bothers. It’s not like they are any more interested in the history of the Ainu than the rest of us.

Lilly is listening politely, but I wouldn’t have expected any less from her. Hanako is huddling next to her, throwing furtive glances at… At whom? Usually she’s most skittish when confronted with strangers, but she doesn’t seem to be concerned about Mr. Kayano. I try to follow her gaze. She keeps staring at Leon and the twins. Did those two audiophobes bully her? I’ll have to keep an eye out for that…

Nanami is the only one who seems focused on Mr. Kayano. I guess she has to to understand what he is saying at all.

I look around the village, if you can call it that. On one hand the huts look so flimsy I’m sure they have to be rebuilt after every storm or decent earthquake, on the other hand rebuilding them probably isn’t much of a hassle… On the gripping hand, I see no reason to rebuild them at all.

There are a few primitive canoes at the shore. They’re probably supposed to represent the contraptions used by the Ainu to fish.

The lake is glittering in the midday sun. This place was built on a small peninsula, so we can see the waters stretching in almost all directions…

Movement draws my attention back towards one of the huts. A man has appeared in one of the entrances. He is clothed in heavily embroidered blue and grey garments, and his face is all but hidden behind a beard. He is followed by two others with similar garb and finally three women carrying musical instruments – harps and something akin to a banjo.

Cool! Rin is going to like this one.

As they begin to play, the four men start something that might be called a ritual dance. At first they’re only swaying left to right, but soon they start jumping and stomping to the music… Well, I think it’s supposed to be in sync with the music, but those guys are beyond bad. I’ve seen the Yamaku music club do better, and some of them are monoplegic…

Anyway, I try to commit the details of this dream to my memory so I can describe it to Rin later.

“They’re bad, but it would probably be interesting to paint them.” Rin’s voice sounds from somewhere next to me.

“That’s what I thought too. I’ll describe it to you next time.”

“Why? I can see it myself.”

I turn around and look at Rin confusedly. “Are you telling me that I’m not sleeping and this is not a dream?”

She tilts her head to the side as if she were thinking hard about the question. “Well, you could be dreaming that I am in your dream talking to you. But then I’d have to be dreaming about talking to you in my dream as well. Or wouldn’t I? Maybe the me right now is not real at all and just a part of your dream, and I am only imagining dreaming about you in your dream.” Her brow is furrowed. “This is a very difficult problem.”

I’m not sure I can follow her, but maybe it’s okay to cheat. “Well, the easiest way to find out if I am dreaming would be to pinch me.”

“I can’t pinch you, but I could either kick you or bite you. Which do you prefer?”

“It’s fine. I’ll just pinch myself.”

“Does it work if you pinch yourself? You could just be dreaming about that as well.”

“If that is the case, I could just be dreaming about someone else pinching me, couldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. Could you?”

I don’t know either, but luckily the dance performance comes to an end at that point, so the problem has been rendered moot.

Mr. Kayano invites us all to inspect the insides of the huts. Great. I’m sure he has lots of interesting stuff to say about whatever we will find within.

*****

When I posted the first chapter, I wondered how long I would be able to keep up posting one chapter a week... I hoped I would be able to keep the pace until KS is released, but I'm sad to say, that at this point the chapters I posted have caught up to those I've written. Those last few weeks RL got in the way of me writing much of anything...
So, Tripping is going to go on break for the time being. Note that I AM going to continue the story. I have the ending mostly planned out in my head and it's a tale I want to tell.
In the meantime I might post a bit about the characters from time to time - at least as much as I can tell without spoiling the story.
Thanks for reading so far, and I hope you'll bear with me - you should be used to waiting if you've been hanging about these forums for a while ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Tripping

Post by griffon8 » Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:04 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Thanks for reading so far, and I hope you'll bear with me - you should be used to waiting if you've been hanging about these forums for a while ;-)
Hm? What are you talking about, 'used to waiting'? :P
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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