When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

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Jaden82
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When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Jaden82 » Sat May 14, 2011 10:07 pm

Here's a short story of what I think could happen if Hanako got pissed off enough to snap. I'm not confident about how I wrote this story so I hope to hear your criticisms on this. Thanks goes out to griffon8 for some help with editing on this story.

Enjoy!

When Hanako Snaps....

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A meek knock barely echoed through the severely underused hallway in the Boys’ Dormitory at Yamaku Academy. One of the hallway’s five overhead lights shone weakly upon a purple-haired teenage girl standing nervously in front of Hisao Nakai’s door.

It took Hanako Ikezawa a long time and a great amount of courage to force herself to come here, hoping to see the boy she liked outside of school. Part of that courage came from her friend Lilly’s strong encouragements. Hanako didn’t want to let her friend down and, more importantly, she didn’t want to let herself down.

It had been so long since she felt any good about herself. She never believed that anyone aside from Lilly would ever look past the scars that resulted from the fire many years ago. Just as her loneliness was getting suffocating, Hisao came along and he talked to her despite her ugly appearance. Not only that, he did not seem to mind her looks. She was not going to fool herself into thinking that he had magic eyes that somehow filtered out her scarred skin, and that was why he got near. He saw the damaged skin… and he still got close. That was more important to her.

In the months since meeting him, her feelings of self-hatred and bitterness were slowly chipped away. She hadn’t escaped to her fantasy worlds in the library as often and spent more time in classes, if only to watch Hisao interact with his surroundings and friends. Lately, he had been talking to her more often. These conversations became more personal and friendly. It was not long before her admiration of Hisao turned into real feelings of love. Her books did not even come close to describing how love truly felt to her. However, she was worried that it might be one-sided. Hisao hadn’t shown any sign of returning the same feelings. In the end, she was only encouraged by Lilly to pursue him.

Lilly had said she heard from others that Hisao was actively pursued by at least three other girls in his grade, and many more girls from the grades below admired him. He never returned their affection in the end. Hanako was convinced that she would be just another girl in that group. However, Lilly made an observation that he preferred to spend more time with both Lilly and Hanako during lunches and after school, compared to other girls. He also had been asking Lilly about Hanako whenever they were alone together.

That was the final reason that Hanako finally decided to see him on this day off from classes and ask him out. She dressed up in a white long-sleeved blouse, black jeans, and white sandals with a cute purple stitching pattern that looked like lilies covering the right side of her blouse. If he went out with her, she would attempt to confess her feelings by the end of the day. Still, it was nerve-wracking standing here in front of the door that would open up to reveal her crush and his cute eyes and smile. Snapping herself out of her long train of thoughts, she wondered how long she had been standing there since her first knock? “Maybe he’s not in the room?” That thought alone was enough to almost crush the resolve she built up today, but she would not give up.

She reached up for a louder knock when the door down the hallway crashed open with a loud bang, making her nearly jump out of her skin. She suddenly put her back to the wall and made herself as flat as possible purely out of instinct. Breathing heavily and her heart beating like crazy, she saw a brown-haired boy in his school uniform slowly step out of the open door and peered intensely in her direction. “Why a uniform on this off day?” she wondered. She noticed his distinctive coke bottle glasses and scarf and recognized him as Kenji Setou. She thought back to what Lilly said to her about Kenji and remembered that he had severe mistrust of all females and would act hostile toward them sometimes. With that information, Hanako decided to bow her head and try to leave. She would have to try to meet Hisao another way.

She was stopped by his gruff voice. “So you have come to take my bro away? Hide him somewhere where you will try to suck him dry of his life? You feminists ARE ALL THE SAME!” She knew she should ignore him and run away, but she went against her instincts and stayed where she was standing. He continued speaking to her back.

“Others have failed to snare him. I know because I have been watching what was going on the past few months! My bro’s will is strong and you will fail as well. I dunno what’s so special about you though,” Kenji said smugly.

“W-w-what d-do y-you mean?” Hanako’s voice was barely above whisper as she continued to look toward her exit of escape.

“That weak and stuttering voice… ho! You’re that burnt-face lesbian that always clings to Satou. Ikezawa… right? Wow… the feminists are desperate this time!” Kenji said before roaring with laughter.

Hanako did not like the way he was speaking to her, but she needed to get away. However, against her every wish, her body slowly turned around to face the nearly blind boy. “W-w-why do you say t-that?” she said as she felt her annoyance slowly building.

Before she realized it, Kenji skittered up so close to her that his face was right in front of hers. His breath reeked of alcohol. She gasped and jumped back a step and started to stiffen up under his scrutiny.

Kenji spoke in a disapproving manner after a moment. “So… these feminists have fallen quite far.” He chuckled before launching into a rant. “They started with cheery Ibarazaki, but it failed. Next, they tried to confuse him with Tezuka. He was too smart for that, so they even sent their strongest combo, Hakamichi and Mikado. I thought he was going to give in at one point, but he resisted!”

Hanako was starting to clench her fists while Kenji continued his insane babbling. “Now… they’ve given up and they send Satou’s lesbian lackey all dressed up so they could take advantage of my bro’s kindness. He would take pity on you with your burns and go out with you then you’ll suck him dry. It won’t work. You can go back to your precious Satou and tell her that I’m onto the lot of you!”

Something quite small inside Hanako just snapped. “How...how dare you…say that again…” she said in a low whisper while looking at her assailant with a glare that was growing bloodthirsty by the second.

“Hah!?” Kenji grunted as he leaned in with his right ear.

“I said… SAY THAT AGAIN!!” She screamed with sudden rage before striking Kenji’s right cheek with an open palm. However, Kenji was ready and spun his head to dull the blow. He only stumbled back a little. Hanako’s frame started to shudder and heave with angry breathing. She took up a karate stance.

“That surprised me… luckily I did my research on you like any of the other girls. You took up karate when you were growing up. To keep bullies off you and help the feminists, right? Unfortunately for you, I know some moves too. You think I’d take on the feminists without any way to defend myself?” he said smugly as he settled into a kung-fu stance.

“THERE ARE NO FEMINISTS! I AM NOT A LESBIAN…” She took a breath before continuing, “AND I AM NOT USING PITY!!” she roared as she suddenly lunged and made a thrusting kick at his chest. He easily parried it with his right arm, stepped to her right side as her momentum carried her through. He suddenly struck at Hanako’s neck with his left fist. She easily deflected the hand with her right forearm and struck with another open palm from her left hand. It found its mark on Kenji’s left cheek, and it made solid contact this time. Uttering a grunt, he stumbled back and his back hit the wall in the narrow hallway. He recovered in time to duck a high right kick that made a hole in the wall where his head was. Kenji lunged forward, his right shoulder ramming against the back of her raised leg, which forced her to crash against the opposite wall. This time, Kenji tried for a sure hit, his right fist aiming for her abdomen. She wasn’t able to dodge this one.

A soft thud and a grunt were heard. It landed! He smiled but that was quickly dispelled when he realized his fist was firmly enveloped in both of Hanako’s hands. She blocked it! Keeping a firm grip on his hand, she quickly locked his arm up and spun him around until he slammed into the wall face first next to where she was. Before he could recover, she pinned his arm behind him and then reared back with her free fist, apparently aiming at the exposed back of his skull. He closed his eyes and winced, seemly ready to accept his death.

A loud THUD echoed throughout the hallway. Kenji opened his eyes after a long moment and noticed the fist imbedded in the wall, inches from his face.

Hanako enjoyed the confused expression for a brief second before leaning in with her mouth next to his ear. “Take it back… what you said.” Her voice sounded calm but it carried a threat of great bodily harm if he did not obey.

He wisely obeyed and spoke in a voice low enough only she could hear. “Ok… I take it back. You’re not a lesbian or using pity.”

It wasn't enough for her. She twisted the pinned arm a little more. “SAY IT LOUDER, BITCH! SAY YOU’RE MY BITCH!”

Her sudden outburst into his ear made him cry out. “ARGH!! OKAY! I’M YOUR BITCH! DON’T HURT ME!!”

Satisfied with that, Hanako was about to let him go when she heard a door opening somewhere and then faint footsteps. She froze. That could only mean one thing: Hisao was coming back from wherever he was! He was going to see that she beat up Kenji and it would shatter his current perception of her. She needed to do something! Panicking, she looked around until she saw that she had pinned Kenji to the wall right in front of the open door to his room. “How convenient!” She spun him around and, keeping a grip on his arm, did the classic over-the-shoulder throw that quickly spun Kenji’s body into his room where he landed on his back with a loud grunt. Hanako scrambled to close the door quietly and straightened out her clothes and hair. She had just finished that when Hisao appeared in her view.

He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Hanako standing there. He caught a breath.

“Maybe he likes my clothes?” Hanako thought as her face turned red at seeing him. Her fingers started fidgeting the hem of her shirt, carefully touching the stitching with her fingertips.

“Hanako… I wasn’t expecting to find you here. Lilly always told me you have a good sense for fashion, but wow….you look really good in those clothes,” he said as he walked up to stand in front of her. He was well dressed himself.

She smiled and nodded her thanks before she spoke up. “H-hisao, w-w-would you l-like to go out to town w-with me today? I came h-here to ask that.” She tensed up and hoped for the best.

Without missing a beat he quickly replied, “Sure! I actually have been looking for you just earlier to ask you out, but it looks like you beat me to it.” He smiled before turning around and held his arm out. “Shall we go, Hanako?”

It took Hanako a moment to realize that it was ok for her to link arms with him. She quickly took it as if the chance would never come again. “Holding arms with a boy I like..this isn’t a dream, right?” She was trying hard to contain her excitement when a loud groan emitted from Kenji’s room. She froze and slowly looked up to see Hisao cock his head toward the door. “Crap! He’s going to notice!”

“Hey…” Hanako tensed up as he seemed to have noticed something else. “What’s with that hole on that wall…and is that an imprint of a fist?”

“Damn! I forgot about these!” She stood still as he seemed to be considering something. She wasn’t able to think of anything to say and simply waited to be discovered, resigned to her fate.

He simply shrugged. “Kenji is always getting into trouble. At least he’s too busy to get in our way this time. Let’s get out of here before he sees us.”

Hanako nodded, barely hiding her great relief. “Thank the gods no one cares about Kenji!”

She moved first, almost dragging Hisao out of the hallway and leaving Kenji all alone in his pain and suffering.
Last edited by Jaden82 on Sun May 15, 2011 10:42 am, edited 6 times in total.
Being deaf has its advantages...such as I don't have to run into a burning building because I can't hear the screams for help.

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by griffon8 » Sat May 14, 2011 10:35 pm

Ha! Nice changes BTW. Though I think Hanako's finishing move could read a little better.

Instead of: quickly spun Kenji’s body into his room with and he landed

I suggest: quickly spun Kenji’s body into his room where he landed


'Finishing move'. Hilarious. :P
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by A1phaDrag0n » Sat May 14, 2011 10:36 pm

I'm not sure how to respond :? it's awesome, yes, that's a given, but do I laugh? The show down had me laughing to the point of a coughing fit :lol: you mixed it very well into an otherwise serious piece of work :) (as in I didn't see it coming until it was upon me :lol: ).
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Jaden82
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Jaden82 » Sat May 14, 2011 10:58 pm

A1phaDrag0n wrote:I'm not sure how to respond :? it's awesome, yes, that's a given, but do I laugh? The show down had me laughing to the point of a coughing fit :lol: you mixed it very well into an otherwise serious piece of work :) (as in I didn't see it coming until it was upon me :lol: ).
That's kinda the idea I had in mind...write it somewhat serious but make it rather absurd that anyone had to laugh at the idea of the timid Hanako snapping and kicking Kenji's ass....as well Kenji breaking out some moves too. So...a serious comedy, I guess? :D

Griffon8: Edited. Thanks! I missed that when I was changing the sentence around last minute.
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Rocket Royal » Sat May 14, 2011 11:46 pm

The blind girl always told me that you looked fashionable.

GET IT? Lily can't see.

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun May 15, 2011 5:38 am

Rocket Royal wrote:The blind girl always told me that you looked fashionable.
Beat me to it...
Anyway, the writing is good, though I can picture neither Hanako nor Kenji being any good in Karate.
It's a sport where you have to get into close contact with others, something Hanako wouldn't be able to do and as for Kenji, blocking or dodging hits is rather hard if you don't see them coming.
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Jaden82 » Sun May 15, 2011 8:03 am

Rocket Royal wrote:The blind girl always told me that you looked fashionable.

GET IT? Lily can't see.
I know. Doesn't mean Lilly can't realize that Hanako had a good sense or not. In some of the other fanfics I have read so far, it was usually written that Hanako helped Lilly pick out her personal outfits. Eyes aren't needed when she could hear compliments on her clothes. So i rolled with that, despite possible threat of objections from other readers. :D
Mirage_GSM wrote:Beat me to it...
Anyway, the writing is good, though I can picture neither Hanako nor Kenji being any good in Karate.
It's a sport where you have to get into close contact with others, something Hanako wouldn't be able to do and as for Kenji, blocking or dodging hits is rather hard if you don't see them coming.
I was going for absurdness as a comedy in this story... doing things that we could not imagine them doing. Wasn't there a story on this forum that involved Kenji screwing Hanako's brain out? Is that any less absurd than this?

Though if you want a more realistic explanation...I imagine that when she was a child soon after the fire she did not yet have the buildup of emotional and psychological traumas that she had by now. Kid bullies usually use physical force so she took up karate to fend them off and she wasn't too afraid of close contact at that time. As she ages and the people around her switches to more cruel psychological abuses, she stopped taking karate and became even more reclusive. That's a theory...one I pulled out of my ass to appease you. :D

As for Kenji...well....he's Kenji. He can do whatever he damn well please. :lol:
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun May 15, 2011 9:26 am

I wasn't sure you were going for absurdity here. The rest of the story was quite earnest.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by scott1and » Sun May 15, 2011 10:10 am

I loved this, this goes from Awwwwwwwww to Awwwwwwwsome
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by PasterOfMuppets » Sun May 15, 2011 9:12 pm

Everyone now knows that Hanako is the daughter of Akuma
Good joke... Everybody laugh... Roll on snare drum... Curtains...

Hanako = Shizune = Lilly = Rin > Kenji > Placeholder > Emi

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Leotrak » Mon May 16, 2011 6:03 am

... Well, that was surprising O.o

Nicely done :P
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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by kosherbacon » Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:24 pm

Good show. I'm still not quite sure how to tackle an action scene myself. You did a pretty good job at it.

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by waynoinsano » Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:01 am

“Thank the gods no one cares about Kenji!”

truer words never spoken

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Raumulus » Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:08 pm

Sweet Jesus......that is awesome. I love Hanako and HATE kenji. So this is just brilliant.

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Re: When Hanako Snaps....(Hanako vs Kenji)

Post by Theeyebrowsofdoom » Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:35 pm

I enjoyed this.

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