From Shizune's Perspective

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Goldilurks
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Goldilurks » Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:24 am

griffon8 wrote:Ah, I meant to eliminate the spaces; no spaces around the 'M-dashes'.
...I'm not sure quite what you mean by that. Are you talking about the sentences with phrases like "100-m dash"?
Add quote marks: I hit ‘Send’ as I turned the handle
So far I have used italics without quote mark for all writing in my fic. I was gonna stick with that for consistency, but if people find it hard to parse...
(I love how sudden the change in the story is right after that. :shock: )
As you can tell from the previous chapters I like dropping a bomb at the very end to hook them for the next instalment. On a related note, who saw this chapter's twist coming?
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griffon8
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by griffon8 » Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:06 am

Goldilurks wrote:
griffon8 wrote:Ah, I meant to eliminate the spaces; no spaces around the 'M-dashes'.
...I'm not sure quite what you mean by that. Are you talking about the sentences with phrases like "100-m dash"?
No, I'm talking about how, for example, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting — wait, I’m a what now?” should instead be, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting—wait, I’m a what now?” with no spaces around '—', which is called an M-dash, because it's a dash with the width of a capital 'M'.

Also, you missed substituting an M-dash here: I didn’t mean that, really – oh, damn it.

And here: Focusing on – that’s it!

But this: Though I have to ask, Shicchan – what was that just now

Should be changed to: Though I have to ask, Shicchan: what was that just now
Goldilurks wrote:
Add quote marks: I hit ‘Send’ as I turned the handle
So far I have used italics without quote mark for all writing in my fic. I was gonna stick with that for consistency, but if people find it hard to parse...
It wasn't in italics. It's separating an object out, because Shizune is pressing a button that says 'Send' on it.
Goldilurks wrote:
(I love how sudden the change in the story is right after that. :shock: )
As you can tell from the previous chapters I like dropping a bomb at the very end to hook them for the next instalment. On a related note, who saw this chapter's twist coming?
I did. As soon as they had left the track meet, even though Rin indicated it was at different times. SOP for a sneaky getaway.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

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RedSavant
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by RedSavant » Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:18 am

I figured about as much. Dick move to do it on Shizune's bed, though, guys. That's not cool.

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:40 am

Goldilurks wrote:As you can tell from the previous chapters I like dropping a bomb at the very end to hook them for the next instalment. On a related note, who saw this chapter's twist coming?
I kind of suspected it, when they were both missing but was thrown off for a while when they left at different times.
No, I'm talking about how, for example, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting — wait, I’m a what now?” should instead be, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting—wait, I’m a what now?” with no spaces around '—', which is called an M-dash, because it's a dash with the width of a capital 'M'.
For me, M-dashes are annoying things word does to me sometimes. I don't like them and replace them with 'real' dashes whenever I notice. In German, the only use of the M-dash is when writing round amounts of money, e.g "5,—€".
Also for me a space belongs at either end of a dash, otherwise the pause could be mistaken for a 'double-word' (like M-dash). ;-)
Is there a convention for when to use M-dashes in English? If so, I never heard about it.
I've seen them used for trailing off or interrupted sentences, but I prefer to use ellipses in those situations.
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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Leotrak
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Leotrak » Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:41 am

That plot twist hit me with the force of a cannonball, actually ">_> Goes to show how oblivious I can be sometimes :P
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Esquire
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Esquire » Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:02 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:I've seen them used for trailing off or interrupted sentences, but I prefer to use ellipses in those situations.
When I write, I use ellipses for trailing off a sentence, and dashes for an interruption by someone or something else. Its how I've always seen it in books and stories here, and I believe it was how I was taught in school too.


I had already figured out/assumed the whole Misha-Hisao thing before in the last chapter, and assumed that they were off together the whole time when it mentioned Hisao leaving but not Misha returning. Glad to see it actually written though. :)

As much as I want to see what happens next, I'd actually be happy with the story ending with this as the last chapter. Shizune gets what's coming to her after being such a cold-hearted manipulative bitch this entire time, while Misha gets it on atop her roommates bed as the ultimate revenge. BAM!
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griffon8
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by griffon8 » Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:47 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:For me, M-dashes are annoying things word does to me sometimes. I don't like them and replace them with 'real' dashes whenever I notice. In German, the only use of the M-dash is when writing round amounts of money, e.g "5,—€".
Also for me a space belongs at either end of a dash, otherwise the pause could be mistaken for a 'double-word' (like M-dash). ;-)
Is there a convention for when to use M-dashes in English? If so, I never heard about it.
I've seen them used for trailing off or interrupted sentences, but I prefer to use ellipses in those situations.
Hyphens (-) are used for hyphenating words or line breaks.

N-dashes, or en dashes (–) are used to indicate durations. Examples: October–November, 3–5 years of age. It is also used with compound adjectives where one or more elements are made of two words or a hyphenated word. Examples: San Francisco–Chicago flight, pre–Vietnam War period, high-class–high-energy lifestyle.

Hmm, those en dashes don't look very different in this font; they're supposed to be as wide as a capital N.

M-dashes, or em dashes (—) are used like a colon or parentheses, or for abrupt changes in thought, or when a period is too strong but a comma is too weak. There are never spaces used around em dashes.

Trailing off, I also use an ellipses, but for interruptions, the em dash is better.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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Goldilurks
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Goldilurks » Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:29 am

Done. Thanks griffon8!
This one needs to lurk moar. This one lurks too much! Ahh, this one lurks juuuuust enuf.
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kosherbacon
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by kosherbacon » Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:25 pm

Goldilurks wrote:Note: griffon8 pointed out that I've been writing as though Shizune and Misha shared a double room rather than the singles every other student seems to use. Call it artistic license; it doesn't interfere too much with established canon (I think) and isn't even that critical to this story anyways.
Shizune has Misha share a room with her so she can have a butt to fondle at night. :wink:
en dash vs em dash
SON OF A—
Another thing I've been doing wrong all these years.

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Leotrak
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Leotrak » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:10 am

kosherbacon wrote:
en dash vs em dash
SON OF A—
Another thing I've been doing wrong all these years.
You and probably a couple dozens more of them writers here ">_> Heck, I don't even know where to find that M-dash O.o
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune

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Esa94
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Esa94 » Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:48 am

Leotrak wrote:
kosherbacon wrote:
en dash vs em dash
SON OF A—
Another thing I've been doing wrong all these years.
You and probably a couple dozens more of them writers here ">_> Heck, I don't even know where to find that M-dash O.o
Compose-dash-dash-dash

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:02 pm

I looked it up and apparently using the M-Dash is not compulsory, so I'll continue to not use it.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by kosherbacon » Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:34 pm

Leotrak wrote: You and probably a couple dozens more of them writers here ">_> Heck, I don't even know where to find that M-dash O.o
In windows, it's ALT plus 0151 on the numerical keypad. Some word processors substitute two hyphens for an em dash. It's a bit of a pain in the butt to do so... I'm not about to go through my archives and correct things.

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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by trekki859 » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:15 pm

*my reaction to new chapter* yes! finaly new stuffs to read! ... mmhmm... nice... yay there gonna get along agian, .... emi eating pizza? O.o ... how is shizune gonna talk to emi sence she cant find.... O.O..... W....T....F....

lol. thats pretty much my thought process throughout this chapter. i loved it man! keep up the good work.
in the wise words of Jack O'neill ..."what?"

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griffon8
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Re: From Shizune's Perspective

Post by griffon8 » Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:00 am

kosherbacon wrote:In windows, it's ALT plus 0151 on the numerical keypad. Some word processors substitute two hyphens for an em dash. It's a bit of a pain in the butt to do so... I'm not about to go through my archives and correct things.
On a mac it's Option+Shift+-. En dash is Option+-.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

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