Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

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AapoAlas
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Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by AapoAlas » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:15 pm

It took me a while to decide that I wanted to write something related to KS, but then it finally hit me: sleeping is boring, better to write.
So here you have it, a small, written-in-an-hour fic of oh-so-dear Rin. Enjoy or hate, which ever you wish; here it nevertheless is.

Also, feel free to comment on whatever you think is necessary. I've been a bitch on some writers on this same forum, so you're more than welcome to return the favour *grin*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Like Fresh Cut Grass


It was an early Sunday morning. The autumn sun cast hues of red and orange across the sky, tainting treetops with a sickly colour in the process. A single figure could be seen on the dormitory premises. Wearing a thick jersey it was hard to make out what sort of a build the person was, but judging from the bust area it was rather obvious it was a she.
The figure was sitting on top of the stone steps next to a slightly faded wall mural, eyeing the sky and her surroundings. There was a temporary wall of sorts erected next to the mural. Some early sketches could be made out from the white surface.
The dew had yet to be vaporized by the slowly rising sun and there was still some fog in the air, soon to be dissolved into the warmth of day. Some birds were starting up their songs in a nearby tree.
It was still too early for anyone to be going anywhere, given that it was a Sunday and the day before had been a sports festival. Yet there the girl was, sitting like it was perfectly normal, as if anyone not sitting there was strange.
A few minutes passed with nothing happening. The sun climbed higher and higher, until its first rays finally touched the girls back. With a sigh she stood up, the sleeves of her jersey waving in a slight breeze.

Late. Nothing in pants, no. Memory? Certainly.

The girl turned completely around, now facing towards the sun and the dormitories. With a lazy pace she started walking towards the boy's dormitory, squinting against the sunlight.
It was still too early for the electronic lock to be open, but with a deft movement the girl picked a key from her left thigh pocket using her right foot, placed the key in the lock, turned it and opened the front door.
Having her foot back in her shoe, which seemed to be pretty easy to put back on, she headed in, quickening her pace by a little, yet causing little to no sound at all. It wasn't long until she found her destination.
It was another door. There was a small name tag on it, but the girl needed not to even recheck for safety. She knew her way around here already. She quickly produced the same key from her pocket as before, opened the door as silently as anyone could and slipped inside the dim room, illuminated only by the sun flitered through the heavy curtains on the window.
Someone was sleeping in the single bed in the corner of the room. The only thing visible of the person from underneath the heavy blanket was a bunch of ruffled brown hair.

A sloth. Maybe becoming a bear, I'd do the same? Not that hairy, maybe? A snake. Possibly. Must think futher. Later.

The girl picks up a metal tool of some sort from one of her pockets, opens the button on her trousers with it and then proceeds to slip out of her pants. After the pants are laid onto the floor she continues by pulling the jersey over her head, revealing an upper body clad in a white t-shirt and two stumps for arms.
Now wearing nothing but her panties and the t-shirt the girl raises the blanket just enough to slip under it, next to the boy, who now slowly awakens to a new day.

“Morning Rin... What's the... I guess I'm late again?”

The girl lets out a half-snort half-laugh.

“The clouds were a bit auburn this morning. Made me think of my hair. Shorter. Kind of like fresh cut grass, but longer. Less wet.”

The boy turns around and drops a still-drowsy kiss on the girl's forehead.

“I'm sorry. Thinking of cutting your hair? I'm sure Emi'll be happy to do that for you.”

She shakes her head, the hair-in-question flailing from side to side:
“I think you should do it. I think I should become more bear... no, snake-like.”

“So you can sleep in like me on cold mornings?”

“Mmm...” She seems to be deep in thought.

“Caught you, huh?” The boy chuckles. “Yeah, I'll do it, though I wonder if it'll make you any more snake-like.”

The girl snuggles as close as she can to the boy.

“Good.” For a moment it's silent again.

“I think we should get up. … Dire consequences, you see. Teacher has some friends. They're coming to...”

She get's interrupted mid sentence: “Yeah, I know, I know... But I'm tired from yesterday. So not yet, please?”

The boy wraps his hands around the girl as best as he can and starts stroking her hair. Slowly she raises her head to allow their eyes to meet. For a moment they look at each other knowingly.

“Yeah, not yet.”


* * * * * * * * * * *

EDIT:
Removing oh-so-annoying little mistakes in the language. What on earth is a thich? And what does bunch ruffled mean? Oh boy, oh boy.
Last edited by AapoAlas on Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:48 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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neumanproductions
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by neumanproductions » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:11 pm

Well, you want me to return the favor but you go ahead and write something like this.
Your imagination was brought into full visualization through your choice of words. You have presented Rin in a way that I could only dream of touching the tip of that iceberg. My hat is off to you.
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
Fanfic series entitled... A Day in the Life of [character name here] (updated 6/8/10)
Random writings and Crossover... New stuff of Neuman (updated 5/6/11)
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Doc Forrest
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by Doc Forrest » Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:29 am

Rather well written.

Katsuu
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by Katsuu » Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:53 pm

I liked it. It was short and sweet.I'd even go so far as to say it warmed the very cockles of my heart.

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Esa94
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by Esa94 » Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:33 pm

I have a theory.

Maybe Finnish people are capable of writing incredibly awesome Rin stories.

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kosherbacon
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by kosherbacon » Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:06 am

AapoAlas wrote: EDIT:
Removing oh-so-annoying little mistakes in the language. What on earth is a thich? And what does bunch ruffled mean? Oh boy, oh boy.
Yep, it's the little things that'll drive you nuts. By the way, "steppes" are treeless grasslands. Rin was probably sitting on steps.

Aside from that, good story. It was really cute. :D

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TipsyRooster
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by TipsyRooster » Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:41 pm

Wonderful.
Cockadoodle...hic!

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Blood-Beryl
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Re: Like Fresh Cut Grass

Post by Blood-Beryl » Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:06 pm

I like it too.
Your style of writing is pretty pleasing to read (especially the first paragraph) and the dialogue is kind of cute.
Lilly > Rin > Emi > Hanako > Shizune

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AapoAlas
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About Michelangelo and us

Post by AapoAlas » Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:47 pm

So I decided to write something more for a change. This is only the beginning, I hope. There's not much of a point throwing it out here, but alas I thought why the hell not.
Thus, I present you:


About Michelangelo and us


“Are we really going to do this? Do we really have to tell him?” The girl fidgeted, blushing slightly. Her voice trembled. Afternoon sun was shining on her from the dorm room window as she sat on a simple chair next to it.

“I always thought it's unfair for a predator to be left without prey.” An auburn haired girl sitting on the bed in the opposite corner of the room answered, looking at the wall next to her.
Both of the girls were still wearing their school uniforms, there hadn't been enough time to change clothes. They had gotten lost in conversation pretty much immediately after arriving.

The girl next to the window sighed: “Alright, Rin... I guess you're right... I just don't want to, you know, proclaim it all that much.” She rose from her seat and headed towards the door.

“Come on, lets go then.”

“Wait. Can you help me change, Emi?” Rin was staring straight at her, wearing a sharp look.

“Aw, alright, but lets hurry, okay?”


* * *


It was almost evening when Emi and Rin finally found themselves in front of a certain door in the boys' dormitory. Emi knocked sharply on the door, and when a bewildered young man opened the door, she quickly proclaimed their business: “Take your jacket and shoes, we're going for a walk, okay? Please.”

Rin gave support from behind her shoulder: “Long walk. It's important that you come. Sort of like thinking... But more grey.”


It took no longer than a few minutes for the three to be outside and briskly walking along a less used path down the hillside, heading away from Yamaku Academy.
After some minutes of silent walking, the boy spoke up: “Rin... I.... thought, umm, that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me anymore?”

“It's not like that. I just don't like awkward silences. Silence is good, but awkward silence isn't. I don't like it. It's like porridge, there's good and there's bad. White porridge is usually really good but sometimes there's something wrong with it, like someone left something out of it. Then it's a bit greenish.”

Emi poked Rin lightly on the side, letting her know she was heading way out of subject.

“Oh, yeah... But that's just why we're here. Walking, walking's good. Yeah. The silence is bad because something's left out. Too dark. You don't know. I want to add that something in. I don't like bad silences.” Rin was looking away from both Emi and the boy, almost like she was embarrassed.

“Mmm, I certainly don't know. What's this about adding something?” The boy was looking at Emi, trying to find someone to clear the mess that was brewing within his brain because of Rin.

“No, not like that `you don't know`. I mean there's something you don't know. And that's why we're here. To add that in.” Something in Rin's voice cried out that she wanted to get this all over with but at the same time was just barely managing to keep herself from backing away from the thought.

“To tell you.” Emi spoke up. Her voice was surprisingly steady compared to what she was like before she and Rin left the room.

“Thing is... Me and Rin are dating. Have been dating for close to a year now.”
The boy was dumbstruck and nearly tripped into a bush they were passing. The path was getting narrower now, forcing the three to walk in a line. The area around them was starting to resemble a forest more than the thicket they started in.

“You what?”

“We're dating, yes. Like pidgeons in that old painting. Lovey-dovey? Like a tile and...” Rin started explaining but she was cut short by the boy.

“No, I mean: you're gay?!” The boy flinched at his choice of words immediately as the words left his lips.

Emi giggled slightly and replied: “Yep, if you want to put it that way, we are.”

“Michelangelo was gay.” Rin proclaimed.

“I.... I didn't know.”

“Yeah, now you do. Both about Michelangelo and us. But that's not the thing we're going to tell you. We both consider you as a friend so... If you won't object, we want to tell you how it began.” Rin nodded to herself when Emi finished.

“Uhm, okay.” It was getting dark, but they kept on walking as the girls started to tell their story.
Last edited by AapoAlas on Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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neumanproductions
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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by neumanproductions » Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:08 pm

ImageMore yuri! You must be hanging around with Kosher too much.
But I suppose I have been getting talked into writing a yuri soon.
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
Fanfic series entitled... A Day in the Life of [character name here] (updated 6/8/10)
Random writings and Crossover... New stuff of Neuman (updated 5/6/11)
It's time to Duel... KS Yugioh Deck (updated 3/16/11)

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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:03 am

It was almost evening when Emi and Rin finally found themselves behind a certain door in the boys' dormitory.
At that point they're still standing in front of it, right?
Also, when did Emi dye her hair green?

Other than that a nice story. Very good going on Rin's dialogue, especially the porridge bit ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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AapoAlas
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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by AapoAlas » Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:53 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
It was almost evening when Emi and Rin finally found themselves behind a certain door in the boys' dormitory.
At that point they're still standing in front of it, right?
Also, when did Emi dye her hair green?

Other than that a nice story. Very good going on Rin's dialogue, especially the porridge bit ;-)
Behind <=> in front of, quite a question of where you're looking from, but indeed the "in front" does work a bit better.

Green hair on Emi? I think you mixed up the dialogue in the first paragraph. (Or maybe I'm very thick and missing something *laugh*) Though indeed looking at it now, it's a bit... hard to follow, so I went and added a few explanatory words.


Anyways, thank you for the feedback!

EDIT: To neuman: Yeah, I think something rubbed on me from kosher's writings. Once I get around to writing the actual story (given that this was mostly a prologue) we'll get some proper delicious yuri. That is, _IF_ I manage to write delicious yuri.
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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by Esa94 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:10 am

Suddenly yuri, yuri everywhere.

Hilarious, sort of. Well-written.

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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Oct 25, 2010 10:03 am

AapoAlas wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Also, when did Emi dye her hair green?
Green hair on Emi? I think you mixed up the dialogue in the first paragraph. (Or maybe I'm very thick and missing something *laugh*) Though indeed looking at it now, it's a bit... hard to follow, so I went and added a few explanatory words.
So, when did Rin dye her hair green? 8)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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AapoAlas
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Re: Writings of AA – Newest story: About Michelangelo and us

Post by AapoAlas » Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:21 pm

A damn good point! It's good to look at stuff after actually sleeping!
Time to do a little fix. Green, seriously, what was I smoking?
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