Constant Companion

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Esa94
Posts: 381
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:42 pm

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Esa94 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:22 pm

darrin wrote:--and I said there is no WAY in HELL I am going anywhere when the guy I love is in there DYING and... ah.. ah ha
ha..."
Aww :3

Guest

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Guest » Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:59 pm

I thought that was great, I'd love to see more. Misha isn't written about enough, IMO!

User avatar
Halkure
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:52 am

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Halkure » Mon Jul 05, 2010 7:14 pm

darrin wrote:Yeah, I was kinda waffling internally a lot of the time between hoping "but she's under a lot of stress, it's an unusual situation!", and worrying "yeah, but is it too much?" More simply, I guess I was hoping the comedy would win in its battle with the cheesiness; maybe it didn't, but that's what I was hoping for anyway. :(
Heheh, I was trying to rationalize it the exact same way. (: I'm mostly torn about her narration of Hisao's writing I think. The pacing of her responses changes around there. It was perfect in the beginning, and it gets back on track around here:
Hey hey, not bad, not bad Hicchan! I will have to make you an honorary lefty, you can borrow my scissors if you want! Wahaha!"
(Which is incidentally one of my favorite lines.)
If I get really picky, I think she gets agitated some places when it might be more likely for her to be flustered; "stuff like 'His arimi...' dang it, I wrote it down somewhere, yeah here it is" might read better with "umm," in place of dang it. But, that's just related to how I perceive her. In any case, I was also very pleased with the way you included her difficulty with complex words :D And her little outburst towards Hisao was very good too, exactly the kind of thing that feels in character.
To be honest, I was worried more about getting that response for some of the other girls (Rin, for example)...
It did sound like Rin and Shizune were overreacting a little. In Shizune's case, only the swearing seemed excessive. I could believe a "damn" or two, but I think she'd limit that kind of thing and act more calmly under stress than most of the girls. I could see her visiting everyone he knew - both to update and even investigate any causes. Rin only felt out of character in that her metaphor (or whatever device she uses) was very recursive, when she usually just says things plainly, if in an off-beat way. So I've gotta correct myself, Misha sounds fine narrating those, Hisao/those two were a wee off. It was basically a complete victory for everything Misha. :3

User avatar
Leotrak
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity
Contact:

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Leotrak » Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:38 am

Halkure wrote:It did sound like Rin and Shizune were overreacting a little. In Shizune's case, only the swearing seemed excessive. I could believe a "damn" or two, but I think she'd limit that kind of thing and act more calmly under stress than most of the girls. I could see her visiting everyone he knew - both to update and even investigate any causes. Rin only felt out of character in that her metaphor (or whatever device she uses) was very recursive, when she usually just says things plainly, if in an off-beat way. So I've gotta correct myself, Misha sounds fine narrating those, Hisao/those two were a wee off. It was basically a complete victory for everything Misha. :3
Well, actually, we haven't seen yet how either would respond to something like this, so who knows how spot-on darrin was here :P
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune

User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6041
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:59 pm

I see someone else found out how easy it is to get on Kenji's path, by trying to pick the IC answer when talking to Lilly...
Anyway good writing. Spot on for Misha, a bit less so for Rin.
I'd love to find this in the game as an easter egg ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Wan-wanniche
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:50 pm
Location: Idaho

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Wan-wanniche » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am

Good stuff. I liked it.
Rin takes an unexpected lead in the updated polls.
Surprised? a little
Is this unexpected? Have you met Rin:)?
Expect the unexpected. lol

User avatar
Shades of gray
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:12 pm
Location: Those two eyes under that rock, yeah, the ones watching you? Thats me...

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Shades of gray » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:54 am

Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:59 pm

Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:08 am

This my friend is called necro-bumping, and is considered rude/Bad/Impolite M'Kay?

having said that, yes it is good, and yes I would like to see more
2 kidneys for sale, slightly used, non-functional, no refunds.
Image

User avatar
DaMan65
Posts: 206
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 11:23 am
Location: Worshiping the glory that is Rin

Re: Constant Companion

Post by DaMan65 » Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:19 am

GREAT STORY BRO!!! lol but not kidding I liked it. The "bad" end Kenji route was a bit depressing for me so seeing someone put at least a (maybe not quite positive but at least a not dead spin on it) is nice. I would be interested to see where this narrative would go from here great work.
By reading this you have given me temporary control of you mind

User avatar
Elcor
Posts: 155
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:45 pm

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Elcor » Mon Apr 30, 2012 4:33 pm

That was a great story, would have been interesting if that was how you got to Misha's path.
Also a great opening to a great Misha x Hisao fiction.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.

Beoran
Posts: 440
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:40 am
Contact:

Re: Constant Companion

Post by Beoran » Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:49 pm

Since this has already been necro'd... It's a very interesting idea. My urge to write a follow up to this is rising... :)
Kind Regards, B.
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here.
Take a look at Eruta my jRPG under development. New web site since december 2012.
Play Ature, my free and open source indie Atari 2600 action adventure game.
All great love is above pity: for it wants - to create what is loved! -- F. Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

Post Reply