Sick in the head

[WetCrate]

This is proof that I am sick. I wrote this, listening to heavy metal and disgusted with myself yet the words kept coming. I should probably be incarcerated.

I didn't proof this, and I don't intend to. The one time I experienced this is enough. I seriously don't know what to do with myself, knowing I came up with something like this.

If you don't like crazy shit, murders, rapes, drugging, necrophilia, or anything like that, stay out. This isn't for you.

If I could rate this R-125 -- Unsuitable for People Under the Age of 125 -- I would. The only reason I'm releasing this to the forum is because writing is cathartic for me, and having other people vindicate my sickness even more so.

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It's not my fault. I can't be held responsible. They would have done it to me, too. They did it to her, and they'd have done it to me. How could I withstand what even She couldn't? She was so much stronger, so much more equipped to handle what they put her through, anything anyone could do to her she could withstand. Not me. She was stronger, so much stronger.

Quickly, so quickly it happened, one minute I'm walking and then POOF something is in the air, in my nostrils, acrid, sweet, and the light grows dim and I'm falling, and a smiling face, no, a gloating face, and darkness. The drug. The drug the drug. Something. I don't know what. But I was gone, out, and they moved me – somewhere – I don't know where. There were... things.... Terrible things, they filled the room, menacing. I didn't know what they were. I was strapped to something, still standing, helpless, so helpless. I was naked. All around me these boards, and metal buckles, and leather straps. Other things – perverted things, from a degenerate's nightmares. Writhing and undulating. She.

Shizune smiled at me, she smiles and points. I see, I see too well. She is bent over a table... She is... I can hear her. It is terrible, horrible. I can hear her, and see her, and smell her, and she is sweating – I see each drop of sweat as it trickles down her buttocks, her thighs, hear her as she gasps for breath between...

Muto. His pants are...

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Misha's voice, Shizune's Voice. My eyes, I can't look away. "Look how much she loves it." She gasps, and moans, and shudders. He quickens his pace, She yelps, and squeals... "She's quite the slut, your girlfriend, eh Hisao?" Words, from Her mouth. I can't- I-

Muto. He grunts, and She spasms. I can feel each of Her shivers, her body-wracking orgasm, the teeth-clenched howl of primal ecstasy rocks me to my core. I am shameful, disgusting, my body betrays me as I feel myself growing rigid.

"Oh, does this arouse you?" Shizune is clothed, but not for long. She begins to.... Her shirt, and... skirt... stockings.... Misha, pink hair in the corner of my eye. She, too, undresses. The glasses do nothing to hide her malice, her lust. My body again betrays me. Round breasts come into view, a terrible arousal grows within me, sick and twisted as I am. Muto shifts, lifts Her to lie on the table. He begins to thrust once more.

"H-!" She gasps, wraps her legs around my teacher. "Hisao... Hisao!" I cringe, Shizune smiles more broadly, now fully nude and so enticing- "I'm sorry, Hisao." More gasps as two pelvises grind together. "I'm sorry... They-they... It's too good, Hisao. It's too good, I can't AH!" Her back arches and Muto chuckles, low in his throat. "They broke me, it's so good, everything is so good.... I wanted..." Shizune runs a finger down her side seductively, my eyes involuntarily swing toward my captor. "I wanted you to be the only one, I love you, but I can't, it's- Everything- I can't live without it, they broke me, I need it, Hisao, I'm so sorry Oh God!"

Misha comes into view, blocks my view of Her shuddering with another orgasm. Two, four breasts. Sweaty, pink with arousal, beginning to perspire slightly. "Now, now, Hisao. I don't think you need to concern yourself with Lilly. Muto is taking good care of her." I wrench my eyes shut. But they continue, the words, the sounds, the smells. "Shizune and I have a bet," Misha's words, no longer Shizune's Voice, low and hungry. "She thinks she can make you come faster than me." Something warm, soft touches my chest, something vile, yet I ache, I hunger. Breath plays across- Misha whispers into my ear and I shudder, so scared, so terrible this reality, "So be a good boy and help me out. I'd like to pop your cherry myself."

Soft, my eyes still shut, so soft and gentle the flesh against my flesh, my naked, wretched body tingles with the sensations... Breasts, nipples.... Oh, God, she runs her tongue across my ear and I shiver – I SHIVER – and it feels so good, and I hate myself, I hate everything- "That would be the drugs, Hisao," again Shizune's Voice, colder. Still whispering. "Try not to fight it. You'll only delay the inevitable." Warmth against my body, stiff nipples, slick with sweat, my sweat, a nauseatingly sweet scent from curls of pink hair. My eyes are open, Muto smirks at me, She pushes him down and fumbles her way atop the unshaven man. "Ah ah," Misha, flushed and panting and smiling and predatory, "I thought we told you not to pay attention to them. It's impolite to stare, you know." Somehow, she grows, a step-stool, the table, something, she stares into my eyes, golden orbs glassy. "Unless, of course, you want to stare at me." And a step backward as she runs her hands over her breasts – I see her shiver as warm fingers brush her nipples, I throb and die inside – and again she attacks me, lips, tongue roaming over my neck, throat, chest. Again I close my eyes. Lilly's voice cries out in orgasm.

Hands, soft and smooth, my sides, my chest, my nipp- Involuntarily I thrust... Oh, Lord, why? No, I can't I didn't I'd never-

Hair against my stomach, breath on my Shudders wrack my frame So warm and wet I can feel her She caresses My body aches Shizune's breathing becomes heavier Misha's tongue Misha's throat Misha's breath She "I'm so sorry, Hisao."

Stars

Too soon, my body remains rigid, I shudder and pant, Misha runs a hand across my face and I open my eyes and she swallows and smiles and licks her lips and "Not even a minute. I'll take that as a compliment." A hand caresses me and I grit my teeth, a small laugh, "Don't worry, Shizune's all ready. You won't have to wait." It's true, so awfully true, Shizune takes a hand from between her legs and smiles, my eyes follow the digits as they wriggle, almost dripping, she licks them and I ache.

Hips sway, I can't help I CAN'T HELP but follow them with my eyes as she writhes toward me, a small patch of blue haaaaaair oh God and then she's here and her scent, the alluring scent fills my nostrils. Why does she have to run her hand across my lips, her fingers, her tongue, but I refuse to kiss her, I can't I won't she Her tongue is in my mouth and it is so I am so hungry...

I can't shut my eyes. It is too late. The smile on Shizune's lips is one of quiet triumph, and she shows me her impressive, so impressive breasts and my fingers struggle for purchase in that soft flesh. A finger, as if to say 'Not yet; all in good time.' But they press against me once more as another kiss steals my breath, I should have suffocated but no, she grips my hair and pulls me away roughly. Those damnable tremors in my body, her nipples trace furrows in the sweat running down my frame and So soft, and warm. Different but similar, a tiny flick of her tongue as I can't help but respond to her slow rhythm, I can see the flesh of her breasts squeeze me and again she smiles and I can't hear anything anymore, just feel. A buzzing in my head, I go numb and WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?

"I guess you win, Shizune." Misha sounds unhappy. I can't even see. The darkness, so much better than the light but it comes back just as Shizune's flesh wraps around me, she presses her behind against me, leaning on a chair, and gasps. So sudden the shudders from her I abruptly realize delicate frame and I can feel her orgasm squeeze me over and over and then she is done, mercifully away from me.

"Hah!" Misha slaps her friend on the butt as the blue-haired rapist convulses silently, wrapped around the chair. "Not much of a victory." A loud THUNK and I am falling backwards. With a groan the table stops with me staring at the ceiling. Misha climbs on top of me and unceremoniously begins. An increasingly familiar WHY DO I REMEMBER THESE THINGS groan escapes her lips. She pants and heavy-lidded eyes regard me. "Well I can see why Shizune was so quick." And the table rocks, and I begin to thrust, and the world ceases to make sense.

Suddenly my hands are free. "You have permission to OH!" My body doesn't need instructions, fingers grip soft flesh, knead breasts sweaty and hot. Misha cries, "Oh, shit!" and internally I echo the sentiment as my world goes white-hot, and I release, and she Why do you make me remember these things, these horrible things, these shameful things? Isn't it enough that it happened, that I betrayed myself and Her and everything I thought was good and right with the world? Must you know the disgusting details?

The blood...

Misha rolled off of me and my damned God-Damned hands reached for her buttocks, "No, Hisao, not yet." Shudders wracked Shizune's erstwhile voice, "I've gotta rest. You may not have been a virgin, but I was, and as good as it felt then it hurts right now." I didn't need don't need want explanations I want flesh and my heart is racing and I can't control myself.

Suddenly Muto looms above me, carrying Her, golden hair hanging limply down, hiding her face. Were it not for her shallow breathing she could have been dead.

She. My love, my life. Beautiful even in those terrible circumstances, despite the horrors she had been put through, I had been put through. But she was warped, twisted. Down she came, her head on my chest. "Hisao..." Her voice ached with hunger. "Please, Hisao. I love you so much.... I want you.... But I can't- They won't let-" Why will these visions not go away?!

"This is your fate, Hisao." A masculine voice, even as I lay, hands entwined in Her hair, her hot breath on my stomach. "You may not think so now, but soon you will be just as beholden to those girls as this little slut is to me." Lilly groans and thrusts against my leg. "Isn't that right, slut?"

"Yes, Teacher," she almost whimpers. "Please, Teacher, may I-"

"No. Not yet." Tears? Warm on my skin. "Do you understand?" Again to me, this monster this monster that monster that bastard MONSTER "There is no getting away, no escaping your fate. They have chosen you, and the Student Council gets what they want." Tears leak from my eyes even as I whisper my love into Her ears. "Shizune."

My head is wrenched back, something is placed into my mouth. Small and hard, a pill? Reflexively I spit, but strong hands clamp my mouth shut, rub my throat.

"There." I cough and cough and cough. Shizune smiles and replaces the cap to a pill bottle. "You have about fifteen minutes before that takes effect and you become even more of a slave to your own desires. You have a choice:" I can hear the malice in his voice – this is no choice. "You can spend that fifteen minutes tied up again, if you think you can escape somehow. I urge you not to hold such foolhardy notions." Her hair smells so good, fresh and flowery despite the reek of sweat. I refuse to look away from the golden locks. "Or, if you swear on little Lilly's life here that you will never try to escape, or tell anyone about our little club here – and believe me, if you go back on your word I can and will kill Lilly; sluts like her are a dime a dozen – I will allow you to taste her." She groans and looks up at me, finally, for the first time since entering this dungeon of lust, glassy blue eyes filled with tears. "This is a one-time offer; she is mine, after all."

"Please," she whispers, wrapping her legs around my knee, "Please, Hisao, let me have you. Let me have you at least once."

Clarity.

Maybe the drugs from earlier wore off. Maybe there is a God, sadistic as He may be.

"Let me have Lilly." The only words I ever spoke in those rooms.

The restraints were released from my legs. So quickly it seemed as if the room were moving around me I was inside of Lilly. "OOH!" More tears spilled from Lilly's dead blue eyes. "I love you, Hisao. I love you I love you so much... I'm sorry things had to be this way..."

I was not interested in Lilly. She had been lost to me, as I had been lost to myself. Nothing in those tombs could be redeemed.

Slowly, playing Her body like a piano I pleasured her, maneuvered her toward Justice. Once, twice, thrice she cried out in ecstasy, shuddering with my movements, splaying fingers and toes as electricity shot through her body. Closer and closer I moved, keeping the count in my head. Three minutes.

Five minutes.

Ever closer. Muto looked on, from the corner of my eye I watched him, looked on and began to lose interest.

Six minutes.

Seven.

Misha curled into a ball. Blood stained her inner thighs. Blood...

Why didn't anyone tell me about the blood?

Shizune ran a hand over Muto's chest. Nine minutes.

My head began to grow fuzzy.

Ten.

Finally Muto plunged into Shizune with a sickeningly wet slurp. Lilly orgasmed once more and arched her back.

Eleven minutes and thirteen seconds.

My hands closed around the ball-point pen lying half-concealed by Shizune's skirt even as I pulled out of

Two steps, he raised his head at the movement and

The jugular vein, the carotid artery, the main blood supply to the brain. I've heard that if you puncture one or the other, the blood blood blood BLOOD pressure will spray sprayyy You're supposed to lose consciousness before you even know anything is wrong.

Muto collapses and I turn to Shizune who, with eyes wide with horror, blood-spattered breasts holds up a hand and the pen plunges into her neck as well and the So much blood blood everywhere but I had to I had to I had to

Misha's scream and she runs and cramps cause her to stumble, she catches herself against a table my table and my hand catches a fistful of pink hair and soon it is done and oh, god, the blood it pools it drips from wooden tables from disgusting black leather harnesses from vinyl and suddenly to my Oh God the Horror Lilly is crying she is sobbing even as she thrusts Muto's dead hand between her legs she her EYES SEEMED TO WEEP TEARS OF BLOOD fear and disgust and she screamed for me to help her the drugs she said the awful drugs she couldn't help herself oh Lord the sickness spreading over me and I HAD TO DON'T YOU SEE I HAD TO THEY WOULD HAVE BROKEN ME THEY BROKE LILLY AND THE BLOOD EVERYWHERE AS I ENTERED LILLY AS WE THRUST AGAINST EACH OTHER THE PEN IN MY HAND THE DRUGS IN MY BLOOD THE BLOOD THE BLOO-

These drugs you have me on don't help. Why don't they help?

When can I sleep? I'm so tired all the time. So very, very tired.

Lilly asked me to kill her. She did, she asked me to kill her. I should be in jail, I should be killed. I orgasmed as I opened her throat. I should rot in the deepest pits of hell.

Why can I not sleep?

This isn't a hospital. It's a torture chamber.

So very tired...

[kosherbacon]

Wow. I have a lot to learn when it comes to doing the POV of an unbalanced person and overall sickfuckery. Good show.

Horrified? Yeah, a little bit but I'll get over it. Impressed? You betcha. I am a bad person and I should feel bad.

[Xuan]

Heeh, well I have my own share of sick imagination although few was ever written, so this was plenty normal to my eyes. It IS fiction after all, and Record of a Crusade had it much worse, without the blood...

You're actually pretty normal from what I see from your fic. Not joking.

[Leotrak]

... Dude, you're sick.


*leans over and whispers conspirationally* Awesome story, man

[SirMax]

While it's hard to argue that this isn't a pretty disturbing story, I think you are perhaps feeling a little too guilty about it. Everyone has creepy thoughts sometimes.

[Fono]

What SirMax said. If you felt the need to artistically express your thoughts, no matter what they are, and even go as far as to share them, then more power to you.

We all have a little darkness in us. All that means is that we have at least the most basic skills of perception. It is definitely nothing to stress one's self over.

Really good story, too. The imagery gives it a really good grip on the reader.

[Xan]

The tone and pace of the writing is perfect.

<had Kick Out The Jams (Live); Rage against the machine playing as i read this.>

EEEEExcellent

**

The way I distinguish good writing is not that you read it; but you experience it.

[Guest]

You really come off as one of those annoying teenagers who think they're being unique and cool for being 'sick'. Didn't even read the fic, just your little introduction.
Thought you should know.

[Leotrak]

You really come off as one of those annoying teenagers who think they're being unique and cool for being 'sick'. Didn't even read the fic, just your little introduction.
Thought you should know.

Haters will always be haters... Made all the more lame for remaining anonymous this time -_-

[EmP|ty]

You really come off as one of those annoying teenagers who think they're being unique and cool for being 'sick'.

This, really.
Still, the actual writing wasn't that bad, you conveyed the almost frenetic state of mind he had pretty well.

[WetCrate]

Oh no, people on the internet think I'm a whiny teenager. What will I dooooo

/me shrugs, goes on to other things

[Csihar]

Being a veteran of Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday, I remain unfazed.

[Silentcook]

Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday

That... just raised SOME of my respect for SOME of my fellow devs from the Pits Of Despair™ (rotating closing weekday, contact us for details!), and added a little extra tolerance for the forumite gang.

I said A LITTLE. Don't push it.

Anyway I guess I owe WetCrate and his piece some thanks now. Good thing I hold the job I hold, though. Funny how things can turn out, huh?

[EmP|ty]

Being a veteran of Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday, I remain unfazed.

Aaaah fan fiction friday, some hilarious stuff on there.
especially that harry potter one...

[DuaneMoody]

Muto collapses and I turn to Shizune who, with eyes wide with horror, blood-spattered breasts holds up a hand and the pen plunges into her neck as well and the So much blood blood everywhere but I had to I had to I had to

you had to remind us of this thread.