Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

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Decaying_Orbital
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Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Decaying_Orbital »

Hello all, I'm new here and I'd like to share what will be my first piece of published fan fiction regarding Katawa Shoujo.

A post Bad Ending Emi Epilogue. Which assumed that Hisao had gotten Shizune's attention during Act 1 and obtained "Slow Recovery" only to return to Emi's main path. That I've titled;

-----------------------------

Dead Heat, an Emilogue.

It's been ten years since we broke up on that day at the track. It has been a decade since you tried to apologize, and I didn't want anything to do with it. When I ran from you down a path that ended with us never speaking again at Yamaku. You wanted to help me... You said it over and over during our time together, but I was stubborn and afraid. I was afraid of letting you get close to me, fearful that you'd just be ripped away from me like my father was. I liked you. I think I even loved you then. It was how genuine and kind you were to me. I think that's what scared me the most. Someone that wanted to share in my pain and wanted to help me. But all I did was run away from that pain, and ultimately away from you.

Misha and I talked about... about our breakup. I remember her words clearly, "You should give Hicchan another chance, Emi. I think he really loves you." Misha's words weren't even out of her mouth when I laughed at the idea. "That white knight is in love with me. You can't be serious, Misha." It's what I said to her. I think she could tell that my response was a lie to deny what I felt then. I was denying it to her and denying it to myself even then. I only wished you stopped trying so hard, and just enjoyed what we had then. My stubbornness, however, got the better of me. Would it really have been that hard to tell you? About the accident, about my father, and the full extent of the nightmares that still haunt my sleep even now?

Misha kept in touch with me, when she and Shizune went to college in Tokyo. She even told me they ran into you on their campus. You've gone and gotten yourself into the science program. I remember telling Misha that, "He is such a nerd after all." This elicited a laugh from her. She told me that Shizune was in love with you. I guess that's why they tried so hard to get you onto the Student Council. Typical Shizune, I thought. She's always one to try and win any contest. However, in high school, I won the sprint. Shizune, however, would win the resulting relay race. Oddly enough, I saw Misha about a month ago. She actually came back to Yamaku and is teaching sign language at the school now. We got to talking about old times and then her face turned sad. As if she didn't want to speak anymore, but I pressed her on the issue. Then she told me that you had suffered a massive heart attack and you were... gone. Misha told me when she was helping Shizune with making preparations for your funeral, they felt they didn't know if they should invite me or not. Just due to Misha knowing what I had told her, they figured I wouldn't have wanted to come.

But now, I'm standing at the grave of Hisao Nakai, looking down on this stone. This one reminds me of my father's, a simple marker with only his name etched into it. I've had a few men over the years, but nothing ever lasted. I kept them all out too, and none of them ever tried to reach me as hard as a broken-hearted boy did in my last year of high school. Finally, looking at this stone, I broke down and cried. It's been so long since I last saw you, yet my buried feelings came to the surface and washed over me. Why didn't I give you that second chance? Why didn't I swallow my pride and let you get closer to me? I was too afraid of losing the only man I ever wanted to love. That's when I realized it... in all the time we were together, we never once said "I love you" to each other. But now I can't hear those words from you, from your lips that once kissed me on the rooftop of Yamaku ten summers ago.

I think that I'll let myself say them now; "You were a boy with a broken heart who tried so hard to reach out and help mend my own, and now I'm a woman with a heart that's breaking. I love you, Hisao Nakai. "
Last edited by Decaying_Orbital on Wed Nov 17, 2021 11:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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OtakuNinja
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by OtakuNinja »

Did not expect to find a gem like this one when I logged on today. Seriously, this goes into my fanfic bookmarks without a doubt. Really interesting turn of events, and something I can relate to on a personal level. And it's short enough to not lose that impact. :)
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Emibro, Hanabro, [Lilly Lover], Rin Kin, Feminist, Two-timer
(Passively working on my KS YouTube series. Someday...)
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Decaying_Orbital
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Decaying_Orbital »

OtakuNinja wrote: Tue Nov 02, 2021 8:05 am Did not expect to find a gem like this one when I logged on today. Seriously, this goes into my fanfic bookmarks without a doubt. Really interesting turn of events, and something I can relate to on a personal level. And it's short enough to not lose that impact. :)
Thank you for the kind words OtakuNinja. I never expected anyone to think this short story was a "gem" right out of the gate. :shock:

Truth be told however, I did write an incomplete version that includes additional context and an actual meeting of Shizune and Emi at the grave. Ultimately I decided that Emi's own thoughts, feelings, and regrets are more important and kept the story "tight" as a result.
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by OtakuNinja »

A lot of stories struggle with that, adding too much filler content that doesn't really serve a purpose other than interfering with the pacing.
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(Passively working on my KS YouTube series. Someday...)
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by just-a-lurker »

this is some good shit!
im just lurking, dont mind me~!
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

just-a-lurker wrote: Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:49 pm this is some good shit!
I prefer "gem" :wink:
Really well-told story and powerful internal monologue!
It is very rare to find a story that short that nevertheless manages to say all it needs to.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
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Decaying_Orbital
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Decaying_Orbital »

Mirage_GSM wrote: Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:57 pm
just-a-lurker wrote: Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:49 pm this is some good shit!
I prefer "gem" :wink:
Really well-told story and powerful internal monologue!
It is very rare to find a story that short that nevertheless manages to say all it needs to.
Thanks for the kind words, I'll be honest I was a little hesitant to post the works at first. The friend of mine that introduced me to Katawa Shoujo convinced me otherwise. I'm just glad to hear that people are reading and enjoying my stories. It's kinda surreal to me considering that at the end of September of this year, I didn't even know KS existed. Then spending nearly 3 days playing though the routes got me hooked, and thus inspired me enough to write fan fiction for it.
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by ArcCain »

We all have things we wish we had said or done.
A good writer knows his limits. A great writer finds ways around them.
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Oddball
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Oddball »

Short sweet and to the point. I think adding anything to it would have only diluted the impact. Great work.
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by ShizuneFan2019 »

Coming across your work after finishing my latest chapter.

Great work! A few minor grammar mistakes, but overall very nice. Typically when I read stories, I pay attention to the tiny points, and I can pinpoint some "gems" in your work: "white knight", "sprint" and "relay race", "grave" and "buried feelings", "lips that kissed".

Emi was the first story I read in the original game, and I loved it too, although I just don't seem to know how to write things in her point of view (others keep criticizing me whenever I write about her, and oh no I have another Emi chapter coming up). I think you can develop a longer story, especially on the Bad Ending. Maybe a separate one, since this one is like already over with the main character's fate. I can definitely learn from your work.
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Decaying_Orbital
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Decaying_Orbital »

Oddball wrote: Fri Jan 07, 2022 10:37 pm Short sweet and to the point. I think adding anything to it would have only diluted the impact. Great work.
Thank you Oddball. This story was actually my first attempt to really keep the word count down. When I started writing my first KS fic, my first (unpublished) work, was sent to the friend that got me involved with the game. Their response to my sending the document was; "7K~ words WTF?!" One of these days I will finish that story and likely release it on the forums. :lol:
ShizuneFan2019 wrote: Sat Jan 15, 2022 4:09 am Coming across your work after finishing my latest chapter.

Great work! A few minor grammar mistakes, but overall very nice. Typically when I read stories, I pay attention to the tiny points, and I can pinpoint some "gems" in your work: "white knight", "sprint" and "relay race", "grave" and "buried feelings", "lips that kissed".

Emi was the first story I read in the original game, and I loved it too, although I just don't seem to know how to write things in her point of view (others keep criticizing me whenever I write about her, and oh no I have another Emi chapter coming up). I think you can develop a longer story, especially on the Bad Ending. Maybe a separate one, since this one is like already over with the main character's fate. I can definitely learn from your work.
I'm glad my work helped inspire you, I appreciate the feedback. I really enjoy Emi and Shizune as characters, as Emi was also my first completed path.
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Asoko_Desu »

A perfect short epilogue - nothing missing, nothing superfluous. Totally believable and achingly poignant - bravo!
"So much to do, so little time."

Asoko Desu's one-shots and short pieces - and assorted tie-ins.
Two Body Problem - "Adventures in the 'Emiverse'"; Emi’s path from Rin’s perspective ..
The Years That the Locusts Have Eaten - Post-Rin’s good ending - a journey through the 'Rinverse'

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guthrum06
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by guthrum06 »

I know I'm super late to the game here, but I was only able to make an account recently.

I love thie story. There's so much emotion and character development packed into such a short story, and it never fails to make me tear up, no matter how many times I read it.

My FanFics
Learning to Run (Complete) - Emi x Hisao in their 30s
Yamaku: the Next Generation (Complete) - Emi and Hisao's daughter goes to Yamaku.
Oil & Vinegar - Mutou and Nurse buddy one-shot

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Decaying_Orbital
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Re: Dead Heat, an Emilogue (A Post Bad End Emi Epilogue short)

Post by Decaying_Orbital »

Asoko_Desu wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 3:55 pm A perfect short epilogue - nothing missing, nothing superfluous. Totally believable and achingly poignant - bravo!
Thank you for the kind words, I've also taken to reading your own series of short stories and have liked what I have seen.
guthrum06 wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2023 9:11 am I know I'm super late to the game here, but I was only able to make an account recently.

I love thie story. There's so much emotion and character development packed into such a short story, and it never fails to make me tear up, no matter how many times I read it.
There's an old saying; 'Better late then never.' I'm pleased you took the time to comment, and I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed the story. It makes me smile when I find people enjoying what I wrote.
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