A Hostess to Lavender (Hanako Bad End Continuation)

WORDS WORDS WORDS
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6098
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: A Hostess to Lavender (Hanako Bad End Continuation)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Nov 14, 2020 3:22 pm

The idea for this fanfic came when someone in a discord server jokingly brought up the idea of Hanako working at a hostess club.
I thought it was silly at first but something about it made me latch onto it.
I will say, I agree that the buildup makes sense but I do admit that I picked a hell of a thing to build up to so I get that it can feel long.
I don't think the idea of Hanako working in a host club itself is not *that* outlandish.
Today I've read two other stories, one where Hanako picks up random people in bars and one where she's so low she'd think of selling her body at a more disreputable escort service than this.
Both of those stories managed to be believable with less buildup than yours.

I think the main problem with your story is that you spent a lot of time and effort to build Hanako down first:
Yes, there might be a Hanako that would go through with this, but one that has gotten so low with her self esteem that working at a grocrey store is still problematic for her?
And it's nice that you make it a high class esablishment, but that's another problem: Why would a high class establishment like this hire someone like Hanako whose social skills have to be expressed with negative numbers?

That hangup aside, the writing of the story is excellent as is the characterization - except for the issues mentioned above.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

Post Reply