Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:53 am

Well, it's not *just* the stiffness though...

Tanaka is telling Lilly about herself in excruciating detail including a lot of personal stuf you would not tell anyone you've basically only just met.

Expecially considering that a desire for more privacy apparently led to the "situation" a while back.

Even if she allegedly has "grown past that" the combination of these two things creates an... incongruity that I have a bit of trouble wrapping my head around...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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FrauPerchta
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Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Post by FrauPerchta » Wed Apr 22, 2020 7:54 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:53 am
Well, it's not *just* the stiffness though...

Tanaka is telling Lilly about herself in excruciating detail including a lot of personal stuf you would not tell anyone you've basically only just met.

Expecially considering that a desire for more privacy apparently led to the "situation" a while back.

Even if she allegedly has "grown past that" the combination of these two things creates an... incongruity that I have a bit of trouble wrapping my head around...

Something like half of what Mayu told Lilly was a blatant lie, and in actuality it had nothing to do with her privacy. I tried to use the oversharing to show that, because yeah, nobody would spill the truth like that.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Apr 22, 2020 6:01 pm

Is she also lying to herself?

Because she is the PoV narrator, and this doesn't sound like someone who is about to lie:
Miss Satou’s attention is sharply on me, though it doesn’t feel oppressive and invasive as it often does; perhaps it’s because for once I’m offering the information to someone who respects that I don’t want to be asked about it.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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FrauPerchta
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Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Post by FrauPerchta » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:46 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Wed Apr 22, 2020 6:01 pm
Is she also lying to herself?

Because she is the PoV narrator, and this doesn't sound like someone who is about to lie:.

She doesn't consider it a lie, yes. Its actually quite hard to explain. Its also something she cant not lie about, so she's sharing what she can, but she doesn't really tell Lilly that aside from one line.

The thing is, she's telling a quarter of the story. The school knows and tells the other quarter. Only a few people even know the other half, and she's "moved on". My execution probably needs work; heck, I could probably rewrite almost all of this. Maybe I will; I don't know, yet.

Unless you want me to spoil things, I don't really know what else I can say. I'll try and do a better job of showing that moving forward, and will probably add more to the scene and other scenes that explain why she's showing a very false openness. She is also, at some level, unreliable.
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