Page 1 of 1

Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 11:20 pm
by emi
I apologize in advance for any errors I may make in these posts.

My prompt for this contest was the pairing of Lilly and Hanako encountering a medical emergency/nurse's office visit.

A Hairy Situation

The cloudy sky darkens as the evening sun disappears behind the horizon. Lilly and Hanako exit the Shanghai, arms locked, as they begin walking up the hill making small talk. “Lilly? Do you think Hi-Hisao will want to c-come with us next time?”

Lilly gives a slight smile as she ponders. “I certainly hope so, he’s interesting, isn’t he?”

Hanako thinks back to what happened in the library when they met. “Yeah, he is.” Hanako suddenly freezes in her tracks.

“Hanako, what is it?”

“Th-there’s a doggie up ahead, a b-big one.”

“Oh, is it approaching us?”

“He's coming this w-way.” Hanako clutches Lilly’s arm tighter as they get closer.

“Well if it's just a dog, I’m sure it will be fine, Hanako.” The large animal struts up to Hanako, sniffing her over. Hanako yelps out as its nose touches her. It suddenly snarls and leaps onto Hanako, who lets out a bloodcurdling scream as she is tackled to the ground. Lilly falls down as well and loses grasp of her cane.

The wolf tears at Hanako’s shoulder as she continues shrieking in pain. Lilly feels around for her cane, picking it up and nervously tries to swipe at the wolf, listening to the growling to pinpoint the location. She swoops down with a heavy whack as the hit connects with its neck and it whimpers, releasing its hold on Hanako. The wolf scurries away as Lilly rushes to help her friend.

“Are you hurt? Do I need to get help?” Hanako doesn’t respond, having fainted from shock. “Hanako? Oh dear, I’ll call an ambulance!” Lilly reaches into her bag to pull out her phone, dialing the emergency number and explaining what happened. Shortly after, sirens can be heard in the distance as an ambulance makes it way closer. Hanako is taken to the hospital and treated while Lilly is returned to the dorms. She has trouble sleeping that night, hoping the best for Hanako.

The next day goes by slowly as Lilly spends the whole day worrying. Lilly eventually gets word that Hanako was released into the school nurse’s care around noon, and makes her way to the medical wing. She approaches the door and hears the nurse talking on the other side. “You’re very lucky Hanako, the bite didn’t tear anything major and the injury is healing rather quickly. The rabies shot also came back negative.. We’ll monitor you for a few more hours and then you can go home.”

Lilly knocks on the door and it opens. “Come in! Ah, Miss Satou, I understand you were with her last night?”

“Yes, it happened so quickly, I didn’t really know what was going on until we were already being attacked.. How is Hanako?”

“She’s doing well considering the circumstances of last night. You may have saved her life, Lilly.” She smiles, relieved as she approaches the bed with her hand out.

Hanako grabs it and speaks up with some straining. “Thanks, Li-Lilly. I was so s-scared, I thought I was never going to w-wake up.”

Lilly grasps Hanako’s hand with both of her own. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You don’t have to worry anymore; I gave it a good beating. Get some rest, and swing by my room when you can, I have to run some errands.”

“O-okay I will.” Hanako says as Lilly stands up and exits.

Hanako is let go several hours later, and makes her way to the dorms. She changes into her pajamas then knocks on Lilly’s room and hears some shuffling inside. “Come in Hanako!” Lilly says. Hanako opens the door, walking in.

Hisao waves. “Hey, Hanako.” Unsuspecting of extra company, Hanako is flustered that Hisao sees her like this, as she screams in surprise.

“Eeeeeeep! H-Hisao!” Hanako covers her face and tries to hide behind Lilly.

Hisao looks surprised himself and stumbles trying to calm her down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, Uh, you look nice. I mean-”

Hanako shakes her head as she responds. “N-no, it’s okay. I just d-didn’t expect anyone. T-thanks.” Hanako blushes, then glances around the room and notices board games, food and drinks laid out.

Sensing the pause, Lilly explains. “I thought we could all have a relaxing evening together playing games, so I asked Hisao to come over and help set up. We brought all your favorite snacks too!”

Hanako gives Lilly a hug, understanding that they’re trying to take her mind off of the incident. “Okay, t-that sounds fun.”

Hisao pulls out a bottle of wine from behind him and places it between them, smirking. “This might help too.”

Hanako's mouth opens in shock. “Where’d y-you get that?”

“I know someone.” Hisao grins.

Lilly feels for and picks up the bottle, a smile appearing on her face. “Oh my! Hisao you delinquent. Well it would be a waste not to drink it after you went through the trouble of bringing it here. Isn’t that right Hanako?”

“Um, y-yes? Right. Yes.” Hanako seems to reassure herself mid sentence. They open the bottle and spend the next few hours drinking and playing games as the sun sets and the moonlight takes its place in the clouded sky.
While Hanako and Hisao are playing a game of chess, Lilly excuses herself to go to the restroom. After placing his piece, Hisao gazes over at Hanako, then stares intently at her face. Hanako looks flustered and puts her hand up to cover it as she stutters. “W-what is it?”

“I never realized you were so beautiful, Hanako. What are you hiding?”

She blushes even more and tries to explain. “I’m not p-pretty. These scars are proof of t-that.”

Hisao tries to get a closer look, a puzzled look encasing his face once he does. “Are you wearing makeup to hide it? I can barely see them.”

“What? No!” She rubs her hand on her cheek and the roughness is barely there. She pulls up her sleeve to reveal similar results on her arm, with the discoloration almost unapparent. “What is this? I don’t understand.” Hanako questions herself as the gears turn in her head. Hisao drunkenly leans close to her and murmurs.

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. Scars or not, you’re perfect.” Hisao goes in and starts kissing her. Their lips meet, and Hanako is overwhelmed with conflicting emotions as the glow of the full moon bleeds through the window. She doesn’t pull away immediately though, she didn’t expect her first kiss would be like this. Hanako suddenly feels a warm fuzzy feeling flowing through her. Hisao abruptly winces out. “Ouch, Hanako, you’re digging into my back.” He pulls away and notices something odd as he rubs a puncture in his lip. “You have really sharp teeth too.”

Hanako looks down and notices the fur growing on her arms. “All the b-better to eat y-you with, my dear Hisao.”

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:58 am
by brythain
This is truly a shaggy-dog story. Would love if you could separate the lines—easier to read. :)

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 2:09 pm
by Hanako Fancopter
This one was clever. I write Evil Lilly, you wrote Evil Hanako

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:50 pm
by emi
brythain wrote:
Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:58 am
This is truly a shaggy-dog story. Would love if you could separate the lines—easier to read. :)
Added line spacing c:

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 12:44 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Not quite a dream this time... I think?
Again, this is probably due to a word limit of this contest, but the story felt very disjointed in several places when you glossed over events with just a half sentence. It could certainly use some fleshing-out.
Other than that a nice read.

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 5:14 am
by emi
SX Entry

Victim: Hanako Fancopter

Prompt: Miki has broken the rules one too many times. Determined to teach her a lesson, Shizune has concocted a creative punishment for her.

A loud snap behind me interrupts my conversation with Suzu, and I turn my head to see Shizune staring me down. She signs quickly as I hear Misha translate. “Miura! You haven't finished your festival plans! Or have you even begun? Wahahaha! There are only a few days left you know! Shizune wants you to submit it.”

I roll my eyes and respond. “Tell her to blow me.” Misha looks worried about translating my message and I turn back to Suzu, only to realize that she's already fallen asleep. I casually side glance behind me to notice Shizune is fuming. I give a smug smile and turn my head back towards the front of the room as the rest of class goes by uneventfully.

I’ve been running laps around the track for over an hour and my legs are ready to give out. I take a few swigs of water; its cold taste is divine and refreshing. Reinvigorated, I return to the locker rooms. I start taking off my shirt when I hear the door close quietly. I pause but don’t hear anything else for a while. Maybe someone was still in here and left. I go back to changing. There's a flash of pink in the corner of my eye but before I can react, my vision goes dark as a cloth is shoved in my face and someone starts restraining my limbs. I try to fight back but there’s more than one assailant and my screams are muffled by the towel. I start to feel disorientated and eventually pass out.

I wake up to darkness. My arms and legs are bound to a bed. I hear whispering in the distance and footsteps approach me. The bag is removed and I’m blinded by a bright light. I turn away and let my eyes adjust as I take in my surroundings. The walls and floor are mostly bare, the only illumination in the room is coming from the spotlight pointed at me. I can just make out someone in the middle of the room, watching silently. The pink girl looming over me cackles sinisterly. “Wa-ha-ha!” This means the other one must be Shizune. I try to speak but the gag renders it difficult. My attempts to get free of these restraints don’t seem to do any good either. “Now, now. No need to be so fidgety, Miki. You need to atone for your sins. Wahahaha!” She reveals a feather duster and smirks. Oh hell no. Do they know I’m ticklish? I give Misha a deadly glare.

A loud snap echoes through the room. Misha looks up just as she was about to start tickling me. Shizune starts approaching with an outstretched hand. Misha dejectedly hands her the feather toy and stands to the side.

I manage to spit the bandana out of my mouth so that I can talk. “This isn’t funny! Let me go right now!” Shizune starts slowly running the feathers down my leg. I bite my lip as the feeling of the brush creeps up my body. She gets down to my foot and twirls the handle a few times. “Sto-ha-ha-p!" I plea in vain.

Shizune pauses her torture momentarily. She signs something to Misha who nods and walks to the corner of the room and reaches into a box. She pulls one, no three things out of it. As she approaches, I realize what they are. Three more feather brushes.

“Hey, come on. You really don’t need to do this. Just let me go, please.” Misha hands a second duster to Shizune. My cries fall on deaf ears. Literally.

I’m suddenly attacked from four spots at once. Shizune simultaneously tickles both my feet while Misha alternates between my neck and armpits. I lose control of my body and begin squirming from the overwhelming sensation as my constant thrashing shakes the bed.

“Aha-ha-hahahaha!” They both relentlessly torture me to the point that I’m having difficulty breathing, I can’t take much more of this. “Ahahaha- Misha-haha pl-haha-ease! I can’t-hahaha breathe! Hahaha-I'll finish my sta-ha-hand!”

I try to catch my breath and notice the tickling has stopped. I see them signing to each other. “Say it again.” Misha declares.

My chest rises and falls rapidly. “I’ll finish my festival stall. That’s what you wanted, right?” More signing. Shizune walks away. That’s a good omen, I hope. “I can’t believe you would resort to something like-” Another towel. The last thing I wonder before passing out is: Where did they get all this chloroform?

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:31 pm
by Hanako Fancopter
Maybe Miki will be better behaved this year! Thanks for the story, I enjoyed it!

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 4:04 am
by PsychicSpy
Can't lie, thought this would end very differently lol (smut or murder, not sure which) . But anyways, I liked this fic. Refreshingly different.

Nice work!

Re: Galaxie's oneshots/contest entries

Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 10:42 pm
by Oddball
The first story seemed a bit rushed, but it was an interesting idea. You seemed to skip over some stuff to get more to the point, but I think dragging this one out would have worked better. While there's a nice horror vibe from the ending, I don't think you build up to it properly. This is a story that could use a bit more length.

The second story ... it also suffers a bit from being rushed. A lot of that could be fixed simply by having Miki comment to herself on how Shizune has been bugging her or what she thinks of her in general. The mood is all over the place. I'm not sure if it works or not, but it's certainly a surprise. It feels like it's going to a much darker place. Then tickling. Then chloroform. It's a bit of whiplash. I'd actually just have Miki go to sleep in her own room like normal only to wake up and find Shizune and Misha have got her.