Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 10/01/2019)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:42 am

“Seriously, take some on your way out. I can’t refill it with lollipops until it’s empty.”
Gold!
Rest of the chapter is also fine, I just found it a bit strange that Hisao hardly reacted to the Ayame/Suzu thing - not even internally...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

DackFayded
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Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:40 pm

Post by DackFayded » Tue Nov 19, 2019 2:56 pm

Writer's note: This chunk is a bit smaller than the rest, mostly because I want to save the rest of the night for it's own piece, and it's been so long since I've updated this and wanted to get something out. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Sforzando

I’m just glad it’s Saturday now. The week following the track meet has been a little rough. Midterm exams were a little more grueling than anyone had expected, and between homework, studying, and Literature Club, Saki and I haven’t really had any time to ourselves outside of our morning swims.

Mutou is lecturing about something to do with quantum theory, but my eyes are glued on the clock, counting down the seconds until the bell. Classes are shorter on Saturdays, and I have a plan for tonight.

Saki and I have been dating for almost two weeks now, and besides our heart-to-heart at the Shanghai before we were officially together, we haven’t really gone on an actual ‘date’. With midterms over, I figured today was the perfect opportunity to do something, both to celebrate them being over and to finally do something nice for her.

I’ve been making due on cafeteria food and two meals a day to save money to treat Saki to a nice evening, letting my allowance from my parents build up to give me a nice lump sum. She might have made it a point that she is more than capable of paying her own way, it’s still a bit of a point of pride for me to be able to provide nice things for her.

What boyfriend wouldn’t want that, after all?

Speaking of relationships…

My eyes drift over to Suzu. Her head is down on her desk, arms folded underneath her. She hasn’t said anything officially, but I’m observant enough to notice that she and Ayame have been rather close recently. I’m glad for them, as much as I don’t want Miki to really be a fifth wheel in our group. I should make it a point to hang out with just her sometime.

She’s been a good friend to me since I came here, and it would only be right for me to return the favor.

I’m broken from my thinking by the bell, signalling our freedom for the weekend. Mutou tries to finish his lecture, but gives up as people start filtering out. The bell seems to have woken Suzu, who groggily raises her head towards the door. After a few moments, Ayame appears alongside Lilly.

Hanako and Suzu both make for the door, and I can see Miki’s looking a bit dejected. It’s been a sad side effect of Suzu and Ayame’s new relationship that Suzu and Miki seem to have drifted apart a bit. They seemed practically joined at the hip when I first met the two of them, but now I can’t recall the last time I remember seeing just the two of them together.

Rising from my seat, I move over to Miki and place a hand on her shoulder. She looks up at my touch.

“Since when does The Miura look so down?” I cringe inwardly a bit at her nickname for herself, but it seems to do the trick as she perks up a bit.

“Thanks, Hisao. You’re sweet. Guess that’s why Saki likes you so much, huh?”

There’s a twitch of something on her face as she says that, and I tilt my head a bit. I can’t tell quite what that look was, but she almost looked...jealous? Wistful? I shake away that thought. What does Miki have to be jealous about between Saki and I? She said herself that a relationship wasn’t exactly her style.

Miki rises from her desk, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “So, got any plans for this weekend?” She asks as I follow her towards the door.

“Well, I’m planning on taking Saki out tonight. I haven’t said anything to her yet, though.”

Miki smirks, nudging me with her arm. “Good! You two need to finally do something. You’ve been lovey-dovey this whole time and you never even went on a proper date.” There’s that smirk again. “Just don’t be silly, Hisao.” She puts extra emphasis on the word, and I know just what she means by it.

I just roll my eyes at her, and am a little bit surprised when she follows me towards 3-4 instead of heading off on her own. “Wasn’t really planning on anything like that.”

Miki just laughs, nudging me with her shoulder. “Long as you don’t keep me up at night, I don’t care what you two get up to.”

I just sigh in response as we come to stand in the doorway of 3-4. My lips curl up into a warm smile as my sight lands on Saki, and I hear Miki snort next to me.

“I know that look.” She says cryptically, not in her usual teasing tone, and offers no further explanation. Saki’s face lights up as her gaze falls on the two of us.

“Hey, you.” I greet her, offering her my arm. She loops her arm around mine, pulling herself against me to let me take some of her weight.

“Hey yourself.” Saki beams up at me, before turning her attention to Miki. “What’s up, Miki?”

Miki just shrugs, falling in alongside us as we walk. “Ayame’s kinda monopolized Snoozu for the day, so I don’t really have any plans.”

“You can always hang out with us.” I reply.

“What, and crash the honeymoon?” She retorts, a teasing smirk on her face. “Pass. Last thing I want is couples right now…” She mutters the last line, a bit of bitterness to her voice. Has Suzu really just been ignoring Miki entirely recently?

“Hey, come on now.” I put an arm around her shoulders, giving her a one-sided hug. “I’ve got room in my life for two pretty girls.”

Both of them laugh, Saki slapping me on my arm. “I could be convinced to share, I suppose.”

I expect Miki to make some other comment at that, but instead she actually turns a bit pink and looks away.

“Thanks guys,” Miki says as she looks back at us. “But I think I’ll pass for today. I’ve got some stuff I gotta do.” She increases her pace, walking out of my arm, raising her hand behind her. “Have a good one, you two!”

I watch her a bit as she goes, head cocked in thought. That was...odd. Miki, the social butterfly, choosing responsibilities over hanging out with friends? Almost unheard of.

Shaking my head, I clear those thoughts away and turn my attention back to Saki.

“So, I’ve got you all to myself for tonight, right? No other prior engagements?”

“Mm-mm!” Saki shakes her head, looking up at me. “Any reason you ask?”

“Well,” I begin, pushing open the door to the outside for both of us. “I want you to get your prettiest outfit together, so I can take you on a proper date.”

Her eyes light up, lips curling into a beaming grin as she pulls me down for a kiss. “That sounds wonderful! What were you thinking?” She practically bounces as she says it; as much as she can with a cane anyway

I merely shrug, though I feel a surge of pride through me at her praise. “Nothing in particular just yet, but I can promise you’ll enjoy yourself.”

That’s a complete lie. I’ve been planning this out for a while now, and though it will leave me pretty much broke for the next few days, I know it will be more than worth it.

In fact, Saki happily leaning her head against me is already more than enough of a confirmation of that.

“Oooh, a surprise as well? My my, Hisao, you’re certainly pulling out all the stops for me, aren’t you?”

“You deserve only the best.”

That was exactly the response she was looking for, as she beams up at me once more. "That's kind of a cute thing of you to say, but being too cute has its drawbacks too."

I cock an eyebrow at her. That...came out of nowhere, but I roll with it. “And what do you know about being too cute?”

She slaps me on the arm as she giggles, pulling away from me slightly. “Jerk! I am positively adorable and you know it.”

“Not the word I’d use. Emi is cute. Ikezawa is cute. You’re beautiful.”

I’m half-expecting her to swat me on the arm again and fire back some joking remark, but instead she turns red and smiles as she leans back into me.

“You’re too sweet to me sometimes, Hisao.” Her voice is muffled as she buries her face in my side for a moment, before pulling away. “Alright, I’ll go get myself dolled up for you. Did you at least have a time?”

“Front gate at 5.”

“I’ll be there!” She punctuates her words with a kiss, before pulling away to head towards the girl’s dorm. I watch her as she goes, hurrying along as fast as her cane will allow her to. It’s even in these little moments that she reminds me just how strong she is; how she refuses to let anything get in her way.

I, however, still have one last order of business before tonight.

I head to the boy’s dorm and mount the stairs, slowly making my way up to my floor, though it isn’t my door I stop in front of; rather, the one across the hall has my attention.

I haven’t spoken to Kenji since he mouthed off about Saki, and even now I don’t at all regret for calling him on it. Still though, that’s not something to burn a bridge over.

I knock on Kenji’s door three times, steadily and evenly. There’s the usual flurry of motion and sound behind the door before everything goes quiet inside.

“Kenji, I know you’re in there. You don’t go anywhere else. Come on, we need to talk.”

There’s a few pregnant moments of silence before I hear locks starting to turn, and Kenji’s bespectacled face appears through the crack in his doorway. He stares outwards at me, vaguely in the direction of my face.

“What do you want?” He asks flatly, though still with his usual tone of suspicion that everything he says carries.

I pinch my nose and sigh. He’s really not going to make this easy on me, is he?

“Kenji, I’m sorry.” I start, and it does seem to soften the cold exterior he’s trying to keep up. “What you said about Saki really, really upset me. But, that didn’t give me the right to make things physical with you. I just wanted to apologize.”

It takes a moment, but I see a smile spread across Kenji’s lips. As creepy of a look as it is, it’s still reassuring.

“Apology accepted, bro. Can’t really talk right now, kinda busy monitoring some things. I’ll talk to you later.”

With that, he retreats back into his room, reaching to shut the door before something clicks in my head.
What the hell is Kenji ‘monitoring’ exactly?

I stick my foot out, catching in the door frame as he tries to shut it.

“What do you mean, ‘monitoring’? What are you up to now?”

Kenji looks startled for a moment, poking his head out to look around before opening the door a crack further and beckoning me in. Against all better judgement, I comply. Kenji’s room is...exactly what I had expected. Empty pizza boxes and takeout containers litter one corner of the room, one wall is taken up by a giant pin-board connecting various pictures, notes, and newspaper clippings with red thread.

A rather high-end looking computer takes up his desk space. On the monitor is what looks like...camera feeds? All static shots of various areas around school. Walkways, hallways, even a few club classrooms.

“Kenji…” I mutter, looking around the room in a mix of awe, horror, and disgust.

“Awesome, right?”

“No…” I respond hollowly, shaking my head slowly. “Jesus, Kenji. I had always kinda hoped you were just fucking with me all this time.”

“A man has to be prepared, bro! And knowledge is power, and all that shit. I have to be able to keep an eye on the movements of the feminists so I can always stay one step ahead of them.”

I scan the feeds, and am thankful when I don’t see any resembling bedrooms, bathrooms, or showers. At least he’s not peeping on anyone.

“Alright, Kenji. This is...a lot, so I'm just gonna leave you to do...whatever it is you do with the cameras. I’ll talk to you later, Kenji.”

“See ya later, dude! Fight the good fight!”

I just sigh as I shut Kenji’s door behind me, quickly followed by all of the locks being done behind me. Why does he have to be such an exhausting person to interact with? Whatever. I have more important things to think about. Namely: what am I going to wear?

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DackFayded
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Post by DackFayded » Wed Nov 20, 2019 5:34 am

It isn’t anything particularly showy, but it’s at least a step up from the usual button-up and tie combo. I’ve swapped the usual white shirt for black, a maroon tie instead of black, and pulled on a slate gray sweater vest to top it all off. Not the most dashing of outfits, but it will certainly pass for semi-formal.

Checking my clock for the time, I down my pills for the night. For the first time, I have a hot date to catch. I check my pocket to make sure I have my phone, wallet, and the tickets. Once everything is accounted for, I make my way for the gate.

Along the way, I get back to my usual activity: delving too deeply into my own head to pay attention to my surroundings, while my feet miraculously carry me to my destination.

I haven’t talked to my parents since I’ve come here. That’s certainly something that should change, and after our date tonight should be the perfect time to.

At least, it would be if I didn’t immediately forget everything I was thinking about the moment I see Saki.

She’s wearing a form-fitting dress the same deep green as her swimsuit, though this one has a highlighted pattern of shimmering gold. Even her hair is done up in a complex half-up half-down rather than laying totally free around her shoulders. The only makeup she’s applied is that familiar reddish-purple lipstick, a color I’m quickly coming to love seeing on her.

“Wow…” I mutter breathily, staring at her in disbelief. She smiles at my shock, giving me a little twirl to show off the rest of her outfit. A white clutch and silver earrings complete the look, rounded out by her rather-plain wooden cane. In all honesty, I like the contrast. It’s a grounding detail in her otherwise overwhelming beauty.

“I take it you like it, then? It’s not too much for tonight, is it? You didn’t exactly tell me what you had planned, so I kinda shot high to be safe?”

She tentatively starts to close the distance between us, but I do so first, taking her in my arms and looking at her up close. “You’re always perfect, Saki. Just more so in this.”

Saki opens her mouth to reply, but is interrupted as the bus pulls up.

“There’s our ride.” I adjust her to stand next to me, and she loops her arm around mine, assuming our usual stance. We make our way on to the bus, and I’m thankful that we’re the only two riders. Strange for 5 o’clock on a Saturday, but I’ll take it.

“So, here’s a hint.” I speak up as we sit down, fishing into my pocket and producing a ticket. Saki looks at it curiously before snatching it from me in a flash, flipping it over. As she reads, her eyes slowly widen, lips curling upwards at the same speed.

“Oh my gosh! Hisao, you didn’t!” She turns to me, incredulous and extremely pleased. I think I can already count this one as a win, so long as nothing bad happens tonight.

“You mentioned at lunch one day that you’d always wanted to see a live orchestra. I couldn’t exactly find anything about a big one, but Tokyo University of Music is having a public performance tonight. I figured that would be perfect.”

“It is!” Saki practically squeals in delight, wrapping her arms tightly around me and squeezing my midsection. I can feel the vibration of her saying something into my chest, but can’t make out the words.

“Come again?” I ask, running a hand along her cheek.

She looks up at me, slowly detaching herself from me. “No guys ever thought of something like this before. It’s always ‘dinner and a movie’, or ‘hey, let’s have a study date’ or, ‘hey, i found this really swanky and haughty thing to do’.”

Her tone makes me pull back a bit, a slight bitterness to her voice before she turns back to me. “But this? You took some offhand comment I made weeks ago, and turned it around into something super sweet and thoughtful.”

After only a moment though, her smile fades and she settles into her seat. A single laugh escapes her lips. “Maybe Miki was right.”

I cock my head and put a hand on her knee. She turns to me, eyebrows drawn. “What was Miki right about?” I ask.

She just shakes her head a bit sadly. “Something she said that night before before the track meet. We were all together, and of course you came up eventually.”

I nod along, urging her to continue. Whatever’s weighing on her, I want to help her shoulder it.

“She said I had shitty taste in men, and that you were the best thing to ever happen to me, and ‘so help me God, Saki, if you fuck this one up, I’ll never forgive you for it!’’” She sinks into her seat, almost seeming a bit...defeated?

I move from her side to kneel in front of her, taking her head in my hands. After a moment, she brings her eyes up to me, a look of...resignation, almost?

“Saki, there’s not a thing you could do to ‘fuck this up,’”

For a second, I get a smile, before she places her hand on mine. “All of them have said that, Hisao. I believe you, though, when you say that. I really, really do. You really are different than the guys that usually throw themselves at me.”

That gets her another inquisitive look from me, but she makes it clear she’s not keen to discuss that further as she clears her throat. “Anyways! Enough depressing sad talk! This is date night, not a therapy session.” She leans forward, kissing me on the forehead. “Thank you, sweetie.”

Every time I heard that damned pet name, I smile like an idiot. I really am crazy for her, aren’t I?

“Always.”

I right myself and sit next to her again, and she nuzzles back into me. The rest of the bus ride into the city passes uneventfully, and thankfully there’s a stop only two blocks from the recital hall.

“So, we’ve got about 20 minutes until it starts, so we should probably go find our seats? I...didn’t go for any balcony seating, even though I think I heard it sounds better there? I hope that’s okay.”

She gives my arm a squeeze as we make our way towards what is easily the fanciest looking building I’ve ever personally been in. The people inside don’t seem to be any more well dressed than either of us, which is a relief.

“Perfectly. Stairs are not something I want to deal with tonight, especially in heels.”

Come to think of it, she did look a bit taller than usual. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed the discrepancy until now, but she’s now just barely shorter than I am, almost looking me directly in the eyes instead of gazing up at me like usual.

We make our way to our seats, the last two on the end close to the middle of the rows. I let Saki take the outside to give her legs some extra room, and before long the orchestra finishes tuning their instruments, and the conductor raises his baton.

For me, the music is mostly entertainment. I’m not versed in enough in any sort of technical study of music to truly appreciate any sort of subtle artistry to the pieces beyond how they sound, but overall the music itself is quite enjoyable. Western classical music is something I’ve always found, while not necessarily my preference, something hard to dislike.

For Saki, however, the experience is different. I spend most of the performance watching her, the way her head slowly moves in time with the swells and movements of the pieces, her fingers dancing along her thighs and mine whenever the piano takes over. Watching her in her element, eyes lightly closed as she engrosses herself in the music, she looks so...peaceful. Content.

As the final piece comes to a close, Saki stands and claps along with the rest of the crowd. I loop an arm around her before she even has a chance to sway or stumble, just holding her in the moment. She turns to me, hands coming to rest on my chest as she looks at me.

“Thank you, Hisao.” She says, leaning in towards me so I can hear her over the uproarious applause. “This was...magical.”

I don’t let her fully pull away as she moves to, instead pulling her sideways into a kiss. Just as always, there is a moment of surprise and tension followed by a full relaxing of her body against mine.

“Come on.” I whisper as I break away. She scoots out of the row and I lead her out, heading towards the door.

“Where are we going, Hisao?” She asks, once more settling in alongside me. This time, though, she locks our hands together again, gently stroking my thumb with hers.

“The night’s still young, that was only a few hours. Unless you’re tired, I was thinking we keep this ride going.”

For a moment, Saki just looks at me, almost taken aback. “I don’t know where this is coming from Hisao, but I like it.” She looks around a moment, taking in where we are before a I see a glint in her eye. “I know just the thing…” She tugs me in a direction, heading down the street and away from the recital hall.

“Your turn to surprise me, I take it?” I ask, leaning towards her as she rests her head on my shoulder.

“Mm-mm.” She answers, nodding slightly. “It’s silly, but I think it’s just the thing to wrap this up with a sweet little bow.”

I just follow her lead in silence, letting her guide me wherever it is her heart takes her. It’s a dynamic that’s been there from the start, and really? I have no desire to change that. She’s the exciting one, after all.

It doesn’t take long until Saki’s prize is at hand. It’s a rather gaudy looking thing, but there’s no mistaking it as anything but a photobooth: the kind middle schoolers cram themselves into to take group photos.

But for a night like this? It’s an entirely different experience.

Saki shuffles in first and drags me inside with her, letting the machine take a few yen and punching in her desired format. A small timer pops up on the screen in front of us, and Saki nuzzles in next to me for the first one. For the second, she pulls away just a bit, turning her head towards me just a moment before the picture is taken.

“I love you.”

It’s a simple three words, but it causes so many different reactions within me at the same time. I barely register the second picture being taken, my reaction to her confession likely forever recorded in picture. Time seems to slow down as I turn to face her. She grabs the chest of my sweater vest smiling up at my confused face just as the third picture is taken.

With her firm grasp on my clothing, she tugs me down and to the side, pulling me across her lap and mashing her lips against mine, just in time for the fourth flash to go off.

We stay like that for a while, completely ignoring the roll of four pictures which hangs from the machine in front of us. Eventually, Saki pulls away and snatches the pictures up, smiling warmly at all of them. “Now that is a perfect way to remember that.”

I lean forward to look and Saki turns the pictures away, sliding back from me. “Nuh uh, buster. These are for my personal collection.”

“Collection?”

She smiles at me, shooing me out of the booth and setting back up alongside me.

“I take pictures. Of important things. Things I want in my hospital room.”

That’s...incredibly morbid, and incredibly touching at the same time. Many things seem to be with Saki, though...we are quite the morbid pair, aren’t we? She, the one with a guaranteed death at the end of a short line. Me, the one who could drop dead at any moment if I push myself too hard. What a world, huh?

“I’m glad I’m important enough,” is all I can think to say. It has the desired effect, as Saki pulls me close to her.

“More important than a lot of things, Hisao.”

For a while, we walk back in silence, my mind still mulling over her confession to me. Just like always, Saki is jumping ahead to wherever she feels comfortable being on her end, and waiting for me to join her there. Perhaps this is what Ayame meant by ‘letting it happen again?’ If Saki is like this...I could see quite a few guys who would leave at the idea of committing to something like that so early, or with someone with Saki’s condition.

But what kind of person would that make me if any of that bothered me? Saki is the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and the sheer idea that someone could think less of her because of what’s going to happen to her honestly sickens me.

As we reach the bus stop, my mind is made up. Just as the bus starts coming to a stop in front of us, I turn to her, leaning down to whisper in her hear.

“I think I do too.”

Saki doesn’t look back at me, merely letting a wide, beaming smile take over her face as she leads us back onto the bus. We spend the ride back cuddled up against one another, just enjoying the peaceful proximity of each other. I don’t protest as Saki leads me back to her room.

She does, however, make me wait outside while she changes. Still, she invites me in nonetheless, now wearing a large T-Shirt that hangs down over her thighs, and I assume some sort of underwear underneath.

As the door closes behind me, she doesn’t waste any time in starting to lift my sweater over my head, shaking her head at me. “Really, Hisao, you think I’m going to let you just sleep in those? Down to your skivvies, private! You have a woman to keep warm.”

I comply with her command as she settles onto her bed, watching me with a coquettish smile.

“What, you get to watch me undress, but I don’t get to watch you?”

Saki just shakes her head at me, her expression unchanged. “Not when I wasn’t wearing anything under that dress.”

The flatness with which she says that makes me stop in the middle of stepping out of my pants.

“I...don’t entirely doubt that statement, actually.”

This time she swats at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards her. She turns me and lays me on my back, drawing her leg over me to straddle my stomach instead of my waist. She kisses me, tenderly and sweetly, her fingers gently combing through my hair. She’s said a few times how much she loves playing with it, and I have to say the feeling is mutual: running my fingers through her silky locks is quite pleasing.

Pulling away after a few moments, she shimmies down me and nuzzles in alongside me, laying her head on my chest and letting me wrap an arm around her shoulders.

“Goodnight, sweetie.” She cooes, pressing a tired kiss to my chest.

I giggle a little at the slightly ticklish contact, but give her a squeeze around her shoulders. “Goodnight, Saki. Sweet dreams.”

And, for the first time since I started taking my meds, I fall right asleep.

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Last edited by DackFayded on Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

DackFayded
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Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:40 pm

Post by DackFayded » Wed Nov 20, 2019 3:24 pm

Writer's note: 18+ NSFW warning. That is all.

-----

“Rise and shine, sweetheart.”

It’s strange to me that as heavy as sleeper as I am, Saki is always capable of getting me up without much fuss. Maybe I’m just always excited to see her, even when I’m dead asleep. Whatever the case, her voice is a much better alarm than my blaring clock.

We may not have classes on Sundays, but Saki is not as forgiving a personal trainer as Emi is. Sunday’s are no excuse for skipping out on swimming, in her book.

My eyes open as Saki coaxes me from sleep, finding her already dressed and standing over the edge of my bed. Just how long has she been up already?

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” She chides me playfully, letting one hand run through my hair. “I take it you slept quite well?”

I merely nod groggily as I sit up and start reaching for pill bottles. Saki watches my morning ritual, having once before, even with all the times she’s stayed over.

Things between Saki and I have changed a bit in the weeks since we went on our first real date. Namely, that we go out together more often. My nights tend to be planned ahead at least somewhat, whereas Saki likes to simply head out and go wherever her heart guides her.

Beyond that, Saki seems more...relaxed. I hadn’t noticed it until now, but she seemed to be almost...holding herself back at times? As if she was keeping herself from doing what she really wanted. That feels like it’s gone now, hopefully so at least.

It takes about ten minutes for me to get myself presentable enough for a morning swim, though Saki is strangely adamant that I leave my room first. As she exits, I see just a hint of her mischievous smirk. Is she planning something? Whatever it is, I just hope she’s not trying to embarrass me in front of a mass of people.

-----

As always, it’s a comfortable walk back from the auxiliary building to the dorms. At Saki’s urging, we skipped the usual check up from the Nurse, though she promised we would see him. She’s...certainly acting a bit weird today. Just what is this girl up to that has her so...nervous?

We arrive back at my room, and the moment my door opens, something hits me. Just across the entrance to my room is my nightstand, upon which my clock sits.

The clock that currently reads 6:00AM.

But...there’s no way? We’ve been through our whole routine, there’s no way it’s only 6AM!

The door clicks closed softly behind me, and I turn to find Saki leaning against it, reaching behind her to flip the lock. I can only stare at her quizzically as puzzle pieces start clicking into place.

“Did you mess with my clock?” I ask, incredulously. What sort of elaborate prank can she be playing on me that all of this behavior fits together?

For a moment, she grows a bit sheepish, almost looking like a scorned child. She tents her index fingers in front of her, idly pushing them together as she speaks.

“I may have changed it forward an hour while you were still sleeping so you wouldn’t notice.”

“Why?” I ask, a chuckle rising through my voice. “If you wanted to go swimming earlier, you could have just said so.”

At this, Saki gives me a satisfied smile, shaking her head as she begins moving towards me again. She braces herself on my bed frame, slowly inching towards me. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind to pass the extra time, Hisao.”

Now she’s just gone and confused me again. “What are you playing at?” I ask her suspiciously, still reaching out my arms to accept her into my embrace.

She leans up, standing on her toes to kiss me instead of dragging me down to her level. Slowly though, we settle back down to her height; my arms come to loosely wrap around her waist, and her hands rest against my chest.

I’ve never really asked her why it is she does that so often. I’ve always just written it off as just her girlish preferences, but there’s been other times where she’s been all hands, all the time. I’ll have to bring it up at some point.

Gently but firmly, she pushes me back, but not to break the kiss. Instead, she shakily walks with me, letting me support her weight as usual, until I’m bumping against my bed. She pushes a bit more firmly to guide me to sit, now standing before me. Her face is flushed across her nose and cheeks, and she’s looking at me like that again. The same way she was looking at me the night she came back from ‘Girl’s Night’ weeks ago.

She stands between my legs before slowly wrapping her arms around my neck and settling into my lap, knees on either side of my legs. This...this is new.

This is a very welcome development.

She leans in towards me, letting her lips drag along my cheek before coming to rest against my ear, whispering directly into it.

“No more ‘Next times.’”

I pull back to look at her confusedly, still a bit too early to pull too deeply from my memory. She takes the opportunity to begin reaching her hands into the hem of my undershirt and tugging it up. It isn’t until my shirt is passing over my head that it clicks in my brain.

I’m very glad I went shopping yesterday.

Unlike myself, in only shorts and formerly an undershirt, Saki is dressed in her full uniform. I suppose she wants me to unwrap my present, does she?

“You sneaky little…” I start, pulling her back against me to kiss her neck. She gives a breathy sigh as I do, hands feeling over the muscles in my shoulders and back before curling back up into my hair. While she’s always been prescient about keeping me from leaving marks in obvious places when I get a bit into things, she certainly doesn’t seem to care now as I’m definitely going to end up leaving a hickey or two.

I must be doing something right in my fumblings, as she’s gone from breathing heavily to making light, airy moans and squeaks. She pulls away and grabs my hands. The shaking in her hands is a bit pronounced now, though I attribute the increase in severity to excitement. My hands are guided to the top button of her blouse as she undoes the bow herself, letting it slowly slip from her grasp.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” She teases me, and it’s only in trying to undo her button that I see how badly my own hands are shaking. My heartbeat is steady, though disjointed as ever. Her hands come over mine, steadying them as I finally manage the first button.

“Relax, sweetie.” She cooes, kissing the top of my head as I move down to the next.

I take a breath and the rest of the buttons follow with far less resistance. The further I go, the more apparent it is that this is the only top she’s wearing. No bra covers her skin beneath her clothing. So, she had been planning this the entire time then.

I wholeheartedly support these kind of surprises.

When I finally finish with the bottom button, Saki slips from my lap, taking a step back to stand before me. Her shirt hands open but still covers her breasts, revealing her stomach. Her hands slowly snake down her body, a sultry curl to her lips as she hooks her fingers into the hem of her skirt, which I take as my cue to start working on my belt.

She turns around, bending over as she removes her skirt tantalizingly slowly, wiggling her hips as she does to jiggle her rear in my face. As if I needed any more encouragement.

Clad now in only a pair of lacy pink panties, and me in only solid black boxers, Saki stalks towards me. She doesn’t say anything as she grabs the hem of my boxers, only giving me a look as if to ask ‘Why are these still on?’ before beginning to tug them down. I lift myself up long enough for her to do so. She tosses them aside without ceremony, before honing in on her true goal.

She settles back into my lap, and I watch her eyes widen a bit as she gently feels along my length with her hand. An almost giddy smile comes to her lips as she inspects me by touch. Removing her hand, she grinds herself down against me, the silky texture of her panties the only barrier between us.

I can’t stop the groan she pulls from my lips, stifled only by her lips on mine. Placing her hands on my chest, she guides me to lay back on the bed, finally removing her panties as she pulls away from me again.

Now nude, she bends over again to fish around in my nightstand, before pulling out a roll of silver squares. I take it she’s been snooping as well.

She turns back to me, holding one in her teeth with a devilish grin on her lips. Now she’s just being playful again. Saki tears the wrapper open as she settles atop me again, reaching behind her as she rolls the condom over me.

One hand resting on my chest, the other holding my member steady, she looks down at me. “Don’t you worry about a thing, Hisao.” She cooes, bringing my tip against her entrance. Even just the brief contact is enough to send a shiver through me, the momentary heat exhilarating. “Just let me take care of this.”

With no more words, she lowers herself onto me. She gasps as I enter her, her body tensing for a moment before she begins moving further and further down. For a moment, her whole body seems to shiver as she reaches my base, her mouth falling open before she composes herself.

For my part, the combination of all-encompassing heat and pressure is both almost overwhelmingly pleasurable and slightly uncomfortable, though I can tell it’s mostly just due to how damn sensitive I am right now. All of my senses feel like they’re firing on overdrive right now, but all I can perceive is Saki. The sweat prickling at the edge of her hairline, the smell of chlorine mixing with perfume and shampoo. The moan rising up from her throat as she begins to grind with me inside her.

“Hisao…” She moans my name, sending lightning up my spine as she leans down to kiss me. It is deep but demure, pure and innocent despite what we’re doing. Tender.

Loving.

My hands explore the curves of her body, caressing her skin as she begins to lift herself off of me and slowly slide back down. I can feel my heart picking up. She must as well, as she shifts the positioning of her hands. One resting on my chest, the other slowly sliding up to cup around my neck, one finger pressed up underneath my jaw.

She’s...checking my pulse while she’s riding me.

For some reason, that just makes me feel fragile. I know it’s only done out of genuine concern, but I don’t feel like I’m quite that breakable. As if to prove my point, I firmly grab her hips and pull her down my length, eliciting a loud moan as I take over. She keeps moving herself, though I now bring myself to meet her while pulling her down at the same time. Both her hands come back to my chest to steady herself, her hair and chest bouncing in time with our movements.

“Hisao! Yes, yes! Yes, Hisao!” She leans back over me, both hands curling into my hair as her back arches.

“Harder…!” She moans into my ear and I comply, now the momentum of my thrusts bouncing her off of me, only to be pulled back down to repeat the rhythm.

She steadily becomes louder and less coherent, moving from moaning my name to loudly attempting and failing to form words, to eventually crying out in ecstasy as I slam her down against me. She clamps down around me, preventing her from moving as usual as her lower body spasms. The moment of added pressure is all I needed to kick over the edge myself, a tingling wave of warmth and pleasure rushing through my body.

It’s an instantaneous moment of eternity, a moment that lasts forever over in the blink of an eye.

As both of our highs subside, Saki is left breathing heavily against my chest, my arm around her. Slowly, she brings a shaky hand up to my neck, checking the pulse I can hear beating in my ear.

thumpTHUMP thu-THUMP thumpTHUMPthump.

Irregular, but calm for the most part.

Satisfied, Saki lets her hand drop against me. Her hair is stuck to her face, and she looks utterly exhausted, even as a smile cracks her lips.

“Not bad for a first time, huh?” She laughs at her own joke, tiredly chuckling to herself. I can’t help but laugh as well, letting my fingers slowly trail along her skin.

“I can’t certainly think of ways that could have went worse.”

Saki hums in her throat before lifting herself off of me, eliciting groans from both of us as I slide free. She removes the rubber and gingerly deposits it into my trash can, before finally sliding off to my side to take her usual sleeping position.

“Next time,” she begins, running her fingers along my chest. “You’re gonna be the one screaming my name.”

I laugh, though I can tell she’s more than serious about her statement.

“I certainly look forward to that.”

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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

Post by PabloPabloPablo » Sun Nov 24, 2019 9:56 am

Right, so I don't normally comment on stories, let alone do detailed critiques on them, but considering Dack came to me for advice on Sweetest Requiem, I felt the need to read it all the way through and condense my thoughts into one long post. And boy, so I have thoughts. I asked him if it was okay to post beforehand, so trust me that this long post is not coming from nowhere. This is not an awful story. Awful stories don't have nearly this much heart into them, nor even basic storytelling elements. No, this story has potential, but as I read it, I ultimately became very frustrated, and ultimately slightly apathetic to it. Of course this fic is barely in it's second act, which means it has quite a bit to improve on, however I feel as though the base has a few problems to it that prevent myself from becoming emotionally investing into what's to come.

Firstly, the beginning. Obviously. The first post has probably the biggest flaw that really made it hard to go through the fic without thinking back on it. Aside from general nitpicks that honestly don't matter, it works fine as an introduction. Hisao is oddly enamored by Saki after meeting her once (which I will definitely get to later), and Suzu/Miki seems to already known him for some reason? That leads me to the biggest flaw of most of Act 1. We don't see him interact with Miki and Suzu prior to this, and the chapter itself skips over valuable development of the "five man band" you've set up.
DackFayded wrote:
Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:11 pm
The rest of lunch passes rather quickly, if not the least because of my company. It’s nice, eating lunch like this. It really does a lot to make me feels like I’m starting to get used to being here. I know I still have a ways to go before I’m really comfortable with everything, but it’s a start at least.

Our conversations continue through the halls back to our classrooms, which leads to learning a bit more about my new acquaintances. Ayame is an only child like myself, and an avid lover of music, though I can’t exactly say my tastes match hers. More towards metal and punk, since she can ‘feel the music better’. Her family is from Hokkaido, and she’s been attending Yamaku since arriving as a first year.

Saki, on the other hand, is an avid lover of classical music. She plays the piano herself, and is in both the art and literature clubs. ‘A modern Renaissance woman’, she called herself, with a playful wink that turned me scarlet. We parted ways in the hallway, Ayame heading across the hall to 3-2, and Saki continuing down the hall.
Why do you skip over this? Hisao is just listing off character traits and hobbies of these two characters like it's an outline. Remember this: How a person describes themselves tells you more about the character than any of the actual descriptors they give. Just listing them off makes them feel like shallow character traits they just have, instead of the actual hobbies that they are. You do this a lot in the beginning, as time jumps forward and backward and Hisao recites quotes we as the reader have never heard before. This is ultimately a very bit determinant later in the fic, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

One thing that makes this fic hard to read is the constant, never ending teasing that Hisao has to endure from not only Miki, but literally every girl he knows. He says at one point that about 90% of the girls have teased him and holy shit is he under-exaggerating that. Hell, even Naomi teases him! And she barely knows him! (Sidenote: Why are Naomi and Medea in the literature club? I'm not a stickler for continuity and all that, but it seems odd)

Not only that, but the constant, grating mention of how "cute" the girls he hangs out with are. It became to the point where I was thinking about putting on a counter for it, but I really couldn't keep track. We get it, they are cute. You should show that instead of just telling us, because if you tell us how cute they are constantly and it's not overtly shown, we start to not believe it, and instead just think that these girls are needlessly arrogant or something.

And this brings me to a problem related to both of those issues, which are the characters. I feel like I barely know them. Saki, feels shallow until a bit of a ways into act 2, which makes Hisao's fascination with her all the more confusing. She's nice, and teases him just as relentlessly as Miki does. Before you start to learn more about her, there's not much there to grab at. It makes her reveal at the end of the festival less impactful, since I'm really not interesting in Saki anymore I am interested in any of the other girls. Except that the other girls don't feel very fleshed out either. Again, this goes back to the problem of us as readers not seeing the interactions Hisao has with the girls, and any interactions we do have with the girls are just them constantly teasing him to a fashion that almost borders on parody.

Ayame feels like an afterthought. I would struggle to really think of any solid character traits for her beyond being a good friend. Same with Suzu, who I feel like has less speaking lines than Misha and Shizune does before the little adventure at The Nanjing (I like this name actually, it's funny). That might not be true, but it feels like the two of them have a more solid friendship with Hisao than he does with Suzu. Miki has the most interactions with Hisao outside of Saki, but most of them are just her constantly berating him with teasing! That doesn't make for interesting character development or interactions. Miki is almost a caricature before we see a different, more jealous side of her briefly. However, it feels like it's almost too late to really go super in depth with her when we barely know her to begin with.

Not only that, outside of the little jealous side that Miki has, we don't know these character's flaws. What is Saki's flaw? What is Suzu's? Ayame's? I legitimately struggle to come up with one. And outside of these 4 main characters, there's been Rin, Shizune, Misha, Yuuko, Medea, Naomi, Lilly, Emi, Taro, and the Nurse that all have speaking lines and page time, albeit some much briefer than others. That is time you could use to flesh out these characters more. It would be fine if Hisao acknowledges that he barely knows these girls, but he doesn't!
DackFayded wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:51 pm
“I was just thinking,” I continue, changing the topic. “About how thankful I am for you and Miki, even Shizune and Misha.”

This, however, is obviously not what Saki was expecting to hear. She lowers the clipboard a bit, her playful smile gone and replaced with a mix of sincerity and expectation, obviously assuming I have more to say.

“You guys have done a lot for me, and I haven’t even been here a full two weeks. You knew next to nothing about me beyond whatever gossip Miki had told you, and you still invited me into your little group of friends.” I look up from my own stack of boxes as I pause. “You did a lot to make me feel like I belong here, and it probably would have taken weeks being here before I settled in without you guys.”
It makes this quote feel so forced. That's because it's in Act 1, chapter 1. This is not something he should say this early. The earliest he should say it is probably the festival, but even then it feels weird because like I said, we as readers barely know Saki and Miki. Yet, Hisao has known them and talked with them off screen all this time. We need to see this to make their friendship, let alone relationship, feel believable. And that leads me to the quote that literally punched me in the gut with how jarring it was.
DackFayded wrote:
Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:15 pm
They really are some of the best friends I could ask for.
Of course he means best as in the greatest friends he could ask for, instead of actually calling them his best friends, but still. What? We've barely seen them hang out and talk about things outside of teasing Hisao relentlessly, and yet we're supposed to believe that they're a tight knit friend group. The fic needs to slow down considerably. Weeks go by in between chapters, and we miss all of the important development in them. And then, we're supposed to also believe that Saki and him can form a serious relationship.

The build up to the relationship is also a major problem, mainly because Saki and Hisao act silly. If I were to be nitpicky, one major thing that stuck out to me is the fact that Saki sees Hisao's scar on his chest, and yet is completely fine to tell Hisao not to give her a heart attack. Not only is that just insensitive to say when at Yamaku, the logical steps necessary to figure out that Hisao might have a heart condition are so obvious that I almost thought that Saki was just being extremely rude to Hisao by joking about the heart attack. It seemed more likely than her just not catching onto the numerous clues.

That's not the silliest thing though. Hisao trying to figure out if he likes Saki and why she kissed is painful and frustrating. I get it, the meme is that he's dense, but he's not dumb. He should be able to figure out that he 100% has a thing for Saki when she is pretty all he thinks about. Not only that, but he checks Saki out constantly, constantly proclaims her greatness in his thoughts, and she even kisses him straight onto the lips. And yet he needs help from the student council to figure it out?! If you can call that help. Literally a few lines before the kiss, he calls her smile perfect. Perfect! And then the next chapter we get this
DackFayded wrote:
Thu Sep 26, 2019 1:38 pm
The real question is, do I have feelings for her beyond being a friend?
It dumbfounded me, honestly. Speaking of the relationship, it's so rushed. We're in Act 2, chapter 3, and they've already had sex. Why go this fast? I think I can understand why, which is that you want a relationship story about them being lovey dovey, but it doesn't feel earned at all. It feels as though these are acquaintances we barely know that have gotten together. Like, good for them, but why should we care? Before we can even root for the two to get together, Saki is already riding Hisao. This makes any complications to the relationship, which are probably going to happen, seem hallow. The ship has sailed before any passengers have gotten on, so why should we care if it hits an iceberg?

But you had one thing going for you, which is that as frustrated as I was with the story, I wasn't apathetic to it. Until this scene.
DackFayded wrote:
Mon Sep 30, 2019 8:14 am
“I’m serious, man! That gimpy bitch is one of their top commanders, I bet! Along with that Student Council witch and that blind Mafioso!”

For the first time since I met him, Kenji has struck a real nerve. I feel my blood pressure rising as I grab him by the shirt and shove him backwards. He stumbles into his door and falls into his room, the door swinging open as he practically crumples onto the floor.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that! I don’t know what your fucking problem is with women, Kenji, but leave me and my girlfriend the hell out of it!”

I enter my room and slam the door shut behind me. Sighing, I rub my face and lean against the door. I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears, its unsteady rhythm even more pronounced now. Taking deep, steady breaths, it slowly fades.

Now that the rage has subsided, I feel kind of bad for snapping at Kenji; at the same time though, he definitely deserved it. After a few moments, I hear his door close softly, followed by the several extra locks he attached to it.

Whatever. Serves the asshole right. Still, though...I should probably apologize to him for it eventually. Not now, though. I have to get dressed, and I kind of want him to stew in it for a bit.
This is the point where I stopped caring about Hisao. Ignoring whatever mischaracterization may or may not be there, Hisao doing this, and then barely feeling bad about it has stopped me from rooting for Hisao to succeed. Sure, he apologized, but only after he never mulled over it. Hisao literally assaulted a blind man and the most he thinks about it after the fact and before the apology is this.
DackFayded wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 2:56 pm
I haven’t spoken to Kenji since he mouthed off about Saki, and even now I don’t at all regret for calling him on it. Still though, that’s not something to burn a bridge over.
This is something you say to someone you yell and shout at. Not at someone you physically assault. I'm not completely against Hisao doing this, mind you, but he should have a reason to do so. And I don't mean the fact that Kenji called Saki a bitch, either. I mean that why Hisao would ever decide to get physical with a blind man. Because your Hisao did not show that potential at all. Neither do many Hisaos. Not only that, but he should feel terrible about it. It should be on his mind for the rest of the day! But no, he just goes back to thinking about Saki and doesn't bring up the fact that he committed assault until he apologizes. Then it's brushed off as if everything is fine.

And when Hisao had his heart attack, and his girlfriend wept and wept as his friends looked on in shock, I realized that I was apathetic to it. It didn't fill me with any emotion at all. Just apathy.

Now, this has been overly negative, but I don't think you should stop the fic or even rewrite it like Feurox did with Gravity. No, I think that you are still early in to where you can probably salvage the story. Your technically writing is good, but you really do need to figure out the exact character arcs and plot points that are going to be here. You need to seriously mull over the story and think about what you want to do. At least, that's just my opinion. You don't have to take any of this critique if you don't want to. All I know is that I hope that this pseudo-route finishes, because finishing a long form story like this is an impressive feat. I still think there's potential here, but it needs a lot of dedication and work.

Sorry if this is overly negative, or if I come off as rude here. I'm not trying to be. Regardless of what you do, I wish you the best of luck in any of your writings in the future.

P.S. this is written at 5 in the morning so my spelling and grammar most likely suck super hard, sorry.
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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

Post by PsychicSpy » Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:06 pm

Since I finished my religion paper, I’ve been meaning to read and review this. I’m going to try and give both positive and constructive thoughts. I’ll try to include some solutions with anything I feel can be fixed.

First, positives:

I feel that this story has been executed nicely. I don’t think it’s unimaginable for him to be into Saki immediately, especially considering that her route technically starts in Act One, and “Hisao” isn’t choosing between multiple girls, so I don’t think that matters too much.

Personally, one of the things that I hope gets explored along with Saki and Hisao’s relationship is the emotions of Miki about her friends. Irl, I’ve watched friend groups fall apart because of romantic entanglements, and I think that Miki’s emotional issues with being a self-described “fifth wheel” could contribute a lot to her emotional development. I’m very interested to see where this leads.

Your use of main characters as side characters is completely fine. I personally appreciate the scenes with Shizune/Misha and Emi. I think you use them in exactly the capacity they need to be in. I have also enjoyed your general characterizations.

Emotion provoking imo. I really like stories where I feel some type of emotion towards the characters. The date was very cute and probably one of the highlights of the story so far.

Smut: I liked it. ‘Nuff said ;)


Second, negatives:

Ok, so the first and most present thing I noticed was how you address blushing. You use the phrase “dusting of pink” A LOT. It is a very good and creative phrase, and I’m not saying you should never use it, but it felt very present. While it wasn’t used later on as much, the whole “my face was pink” just reminded me of it and I think it couldn’t hurt to just use “blushed” or “blushing” every once in a while.

I think that word overuse could actually sum up a lot of the constructive feedback. Yeah, the girls are “cute”. We all know that. It’s a bit superfluous. Mix up your word choices.

I didn’t love the scene where Hisao fucks Kenji up. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t blame anybody for wanting to defend his girl, but it seems out of character for Hisao to jump that far with it. I also don’t think it adds very much in terms of plot. Tbh, I kind of ignored it for the rest of the story because it just didn’t fit and it probably would have interfered how I felt about Hisao from then on. There’s no true solution here imo, other than think about which scenes will contribute and which scenes will throw ppl off.


Third, neutrals (these are things I have mixed feelings about):

It might be clear from my positives paragraph, but I’m very interested in Miki’s emotional development. Possibly more than Saki and Hisao. I think there needs to be some emotional conflict. Of course, this is Act 2, so of course I’m not expecting it yet. Of course, don’t make emotional conflict all about Miki. That runs a risk of making it more about Miki and less about Saki. You said at the beginning that you want Saki to have that mortality quality. Maybe do something with that.

Pacing issues: I’m mixed because I feel like there are some times where time passes too quickly. Some of that time could use to develop characters a little bit more. On the other hand, dialogue is tedious, and can be annoying to write, especially when the conversation might take five seconds to get essential points across but it’s annoying to get there. Take that as you will.

Overall, my take away is net positive. I really like your concept and your story so far. I feel that the most negative things about it are really just word usage, while a lot of issues are more neutral rather than negative. I’m excited to see what you do with this story!
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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Nov 27, 2019 1:57 pm

First of all:
Things between Saki and I have changed a bit...
"between Saki and me"

And now that that's out of the way - Wow, that was a lot of criticism.
Some I agree with and some I don't.
As for the things I do agree with, it's regarding the speed with which HIsao and the others become best friends despite so little time passing in-story. To be fair, that's a problem with many stories here, so I may be getting desensitized to it. Also Hisao questioning his feelings for Saki the way he did, did indeed cause some headdesk momnents for me.
Considering the rest of the relationship, though I didn't particularly think the H-scene was out of place at this point of the story. Frankly I don't care what number the act has as long as the scene fits in the progression of the relationship. Also it is perfectly reasonable for someone like Saki - whose time is limited - would not procrastinate too long on this.
What I definitely don't agree on is the Kenji thing. In too many stories (and the VN itself) Hisao is portrayed with saintly qualities putting up with the stuff Kenji does, so I did like the idea of a story where Hisao finally does draw a line. If anything it should have been Kenji who apologized, though that is probably too much to ask considering his character.
I'm also not sure where Kenji's eyesight comes into this. The scene would not have played out differently if his eyesight was perfectly normal. It's not as if Hisao snuck up at him and hit him over the head with a bat. The "Assaulting a blind man" makes it sound as if Hisao had taken advantage of the disability to beat him up...
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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

Post by PabloPabloPablo » Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:10 am

Problem isn't the h-scene itself, more the speed of the relationship. It progressed so rapidly that I barely have time to care that there is an h-scene in the first place.

As for the Kenji thing, I don't want Hisao to be a saint, but I also do want him to physically hurt someone and then not feel really any remorse about it after the fact. As for the eyesight, assaulting someone with poor eyesight is always a big no no since no matter how you slice it, they most likely will not be able to defend themselves as easily as people with better eyesight. That's what makes it egregious. If Hisao pushed someone without a disability, it still wouldn't be fine anyway, but at least you can reasonable assume they can defend themselves well enough if it progressed. Kenji? Probably not given his poor vision.

Though again, I don't care much if he did do it, so long as it's believable this Hisao would do such a thing and the fact that he'd at least think about it for longer than a second. Both of which aren't really present in this instance. Also I think it's completely out of character for Kenji to call Hisao's girlfriend a bitch, but that's a whole different debate/topic and I'm not a stickler for character consistency so long as it tells a good story. It's mostly headcanon 90% of the time anyway. I also haven't played katawa shoujo in a long time, so maybe I'm off base in that judgement, but still.
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Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 11/20/2019)

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Nov 28, 2019 1:35 pm

Well he didn't really hurt Kenji did he? He shoves him and he stumbles to the ground. Again not like he assaulted him with a weapon.
And if you want to bring disabilities into this, then Hisao would probably be at a much bigger disadvantage if a fight actually broke out - which it didn't.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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