The Sands of Time

WORDS WORDS WORDS
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Mirage_GSM
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Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: The Sands of Time

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Mar 03, 2020 9:47 am

Since the story itself is beyond reproach as usual let me nitpick a bit :-)
“I still need to breath,” I gasp.
breathe
On one wall is a small rack contain various medals
containing
I'm going to b really mad at you.
Other than that mostly punctuation issues...
Looking forward to seeing where this is going, though at the current pace we'll probably have to wait till next year to read the conclusion...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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