Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post Reply
User avatar
Posts: 159
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:31 pm
Location: Bordeaux, France

Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post by Razoredge » Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:58 am

Hi everyone.

I wanted writing some OS from a very long time. Now, I have the opportunity to do it. In this topic, you'll see some Kaori's OS and other stuff. It will take more time than my fic, because I'm focused on this piece of writing. I can drop a "long" or a short piece, everything is possible. For a piece related to Kaori, it will be something which isn't related to the present plot (events from the past, or something like that)

I hope you'll enjoy this kind of stuff too, and once again, every feedback is welcome.

- Burden
- Red bath
Last edited by Razoredge on Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:46 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

User avatar
Posts: 159
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:31 pm
Location: Bordeaux, France

Razor's OS & misc. - Burden

Post by Razoredge » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:02 am


I hate running. Especially when it's raining. But I can't avoid sports lessons. I don't want to be seen as a lazy girl.

It's raining a lot today. The rain, on a hot summer day, is a good thing. But, when I run, it's my worst enemy.

I never had good stamina, so I never performed well. My teacher always thought I was too slow for a 15 years old girl. But I have never paid attention to his words.

My heart rate is always too high for me when I run. But it seems normal. When you make an effort, the heart rate goes up, you can't do anything about that. I do a whole lap as a warm-up. In the second lap, the teacher asks us to run a little bit faster.

But I can't. Because I'm not able to run fast. If I try to run faster, I lose my breath. However, I have to do it. I grit my teeth, and I try to do what the teacher asks us to do.

I put on a sprint sometimes, but that's all. My heart is pounding, as usual. Some students are as slow as me. We are late but never mind. I'm thirsty. But drinking rainwater isn't a good idea. So, I have to wait. I just have two more laps to do, I can do it.

However, at the beginning of the last lap, I feel an awful pain along my arm. I fall over, as I'm trying to recover my breath, in vain.

On my knees, in a puddle, I can't say anything. I can hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. I'm afraid, but I can't cry. My whole body is frozen. I can only feel terror and pain. Someone is trying to help me, but can't do anything. A girl is screaming, but I can't hear what she's saying.

My heart suddenly stops, as it was pounding just before. I try to grab my chest with my hand, but everything seems to distort. The last thing I remember is a loud crack of thunder.


I stayed in this hospital room for months. I never liked hospitals, I hate asepticized places. Thankfully, the nurses here are very kind. They helped me a lot with my condition.

It seems I always had a weak heart. The surgeon told me I was lucky to be able to do a lot of things without anything happening. You can't be blessed when you nearly died.

While I am wondering why the surgeon told me something like that, someone comes into the room. Somebody who wears a familiar perfume. A little touch of lime. It's Mom. Since I had my heart attack, she was there for me, such as Dad, even if he's working a lot.

I'm always happy when she's with me. She sits next to the bed and takes my hand. I can feel her anxiety just with her hand pressure. The news of my heart attack hit my parents with violence. They thought they were responsible for my disease. Of course, they weren't.

Mom mothered me a lot. I can't have hard feelings towards her. She's my mother, she only wants what is good for me.

"You're all right, sweetie?" She asks me, with a smile.

"Sometimes, it hurts, but, yeah, I'm fine." I try to reassure her.

Someone comes in while I'm talking to Mom. She notices my curious glance and tells me who's there.

"Kaori, it's just your dad."

Fucking prosopagnosia. I can't even recognize the face of my own parents. I must use stratagems to identify them when they're not talking. I feel guilty.

"Sorry, Dad... I'm happy to see you."

"Don't worry about it. Is your heart fine?" He asks me.

"As I said to Mom, sometimes it hurts, but that's fine."

"I don't know if your mother told you, but we took a decision with the surgeon." He seems to blame himself for taking a decision without me.

"About what?" I have to say, I'm intrigued.

He let Mom answering my question. She never hides me anything. My mother always tries to find the right words to tell me everything.

"We think you should go in another school. With your cardiac issue, we believe you could need medical attention in the future." Her voice is kind, as she talks slowly to me.

"Give me a minute."

She nods her head. That makes sense. If my heart is weak, I could have a new heart attack. And I want to avoid this thing at all costs. I never felt a pain like that before. It was awful, the worst pain I ever experienced. I have to admit that I was scared to death.

I try to weight up the pros and cons, and I must realize that they're right. I'm not thrilled about it, my mind wants to protest, but they're right. I'm diseased, and I must accept this state of affairs.

"When did you took this decision?"

"Two weeks ago." My mother is always honest with me.

"Well, if everyone supposes it will help me, I really don't have a choice." I sigh.

In the middle of winter, I just have to wait for the start of the new school year. I look at the scar in the middle of my chest. It will never disappear.

"Did you talk with my friends about this decision?" This is the only question I can ask about my future ex-school.

"Yes. We talked to them about that." Dad answers me with a quiet voice.

"Fine. I need to digest everything, but thanks to telling me the truth."

I try to accept everything. It's hard, but my parents are there to help me. Changes are not easy to accept. Especially when it changes your way of life.

They tell me a lot of insignificant things. It helps me to clean my mind. Then, a few minutes later, they have to leave. The surgeon told me that in a few weeks, I'll finally be able to go back home. I'll need to take pills for life, but it's for my sake.

It's snowing outside. When I was young, I loved playing in the snow. But now, I'm stuck in this room. All I can do in the whole day is watching the TV and read some books. Nothing else.

I never chose to be here. I want to come back home, but they need to keep me there a few more weeks. I need to be patient, and everything will be fine. A new school... It's a bitter pill to swallow, but they're right. I need it. I can die of a heart attack if I don't take my medicines or if I make a violent effort.

I need a little period of adaptation. I have a second chance, and my life isn't over yet. I just have to see what my life will look like there.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

User avatar
Posts: 6110
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:59 am

So, one thing I always complain about in cases like this is when people heap several unrelated disabilities on the same person. Yes, it does happen in real life, but it always feels forced in fiction.

Some other things are a bit hard to believe as well, e.g. why should her parents discuss the decision to send her to another school with her friends first before telling her? Why would they wait two weeks to tell her, and why did she even assume they had taken the decision earlier to the point that this is the first question out of her mouth?
If someone came to me with news like that, my first question would be What school? Where? When? Maybe even whether or not they have single bedrooms; certainly not "How long have you been keeping that from me?" A question like that implies a deep mistrust, and from the rest of the narration that's obviously not the case.

Finally some oddities in grammar and dialogue, like:
"When did you took this decision?"
"if everyone supposes it will help me"
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

User avatar
Posts: 159
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:31 pm
Location: Bordeaux, France

Re: Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post by Razoredge » Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:09 pm

First at all, thanks for the message. I'm aware this piece has some shortcomings, if it's required, I can rewrite it.
In my mind, their relation is based on mutual trust. So, in fact, her mother will tell her everything, but it can take some time.
As I say, if it's required, because of the shortcomings, I can rewrite it, I wouldn't mind. But thanks for the advice and for your honest review, I appreciate honesty.
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

User avatar
Posts: 159
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:31 pm
Location: Bordeaux, France

Re: Razor's One Shots & misc.

Post by Razoredge » Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:45 pm

First of all, this piece is not related to my main work, this is just a little piece I wanted to write from a long time ago, and it may be one of the bases for a potentially upcoming FF, but I'm not sure of anything. That being said, I hope you'll enjoy it.

Red bath

I had a nice afternoon with my best friend, playing with the other girls. Right after dinner, we had almost two and a half hours of free time. My parents had an excellent idea to send me to this summer camp with Fuyumi.

We're friends since our childhood, and she was always there for me, such as me for her. Spending two months with her before getting back to school is a precious thing. Since the weather is lovely, we walk around in the park in front of the girls' dorm.

I've met some nice girls since my first day here, and I think it's the beginning of a great friendship between us. Misako, the youngest one, is only 14 years old, but it seems she's the most mature person of us. We're a little group, about four or five girls, but we spend all our time together.

As we walk together, Fuyumi explains to me what she'll do for Christmas.

" This year, for Christmas, I'll go to Hokkaido. I haven't seen my maternal grandmother for Christmas for almost five or six years, and I have to say, I miss her." She smiles while talking to me. " What about you, Sayuki?"

" Well, I'll stay at home with my parents and my grandparents, like every year. And I already know what I will buy for you for Christmas." I giggle.

" Me too, but I wouldn't tell you, you'll see for yourself." Fuyumi chuckles.

One hour before going to sleep, we go back to our dorm, where the other girls watch a movie. I don't understand anything, but this movie seems interesting. A young girl suffers from mental illness, and the only thing that keeps her alive is her imaginary world and friend. It's about how her illness affects her everyday life, and I found it really fascinating.

Such as every night, when I brush my teeth, a disgusted expression can be seen on my face. My mother bought me a peppermint toothpaste, even if she knows that I hate this taste. For her, it helps to keep a fresh breath, for me, it's still disgusting.

At nearly eleven o'clock, we go to sleep, because every morning, we get up at six and a half. I say goodnight to the girls, and I jump into my bed. Tomorrow, we will take a stroll in the nearby forest in the afternoon. Another lovely day in sight.

I fall asleep a few minutes later, as usual, because I never had any trouble to fall asleep.


In the middle of the night, though, screams wake me up from a nightmare. The first thing I see right after opening my eyes is a bright red light, which isn't normal. It took me a few seconds to understand what happens, while the sudden heat painfully hits my body.

The whole room is on fire, and in an adrenaline rush, I run towards Fuyumi's bed, which is next to the door. I throw a blanket to protect her, but she's not moving at all. She may be afraid, but then I realize that her eyes are closed. Even when I try to wake her up, she does not move at all.

In a great effort, I get her out of bed and draw my best friend towards the back of the room under my bed. Covering us with my blanket, I don't really realize what happens to her, and I can't help crying, holding her tightly against my chest.

I want to scream, but not a single word can get away from my throat. Pure horror happens right before my eyes, and I'm searching for some comfort from Fuyumi, in vain. Holding her hand in mine, I finally realize what happened to her, and I kiss her forehead for the last time.

When the flames lap against the blanket, the extreme heat makes me scream, a scream of absolute terror and pain. I'm feeling dizzy because of the pain, which is the worst I've ever felt. Only a single idea comes into my mind, I wish to die, joining my best friend, as I cannot endure this pain anymore.

Everything around me becomes dark as the only sound I hear is a girl screaming and crying in the room next to us.


It's been three weeks since that night, I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that this sterile room is mine now. All my body is covered with white fabric, such as my face. I'm aware of the flow of time only because of the noises, made at regular intervals, of the machine which administers me painkillers.

It helps me to bear this stabbing pain. Since my childhood, I'm afraid of hospitals, but I have to say, they saved my life. Without the firemen, without the nurses, I would be dead by now. They're not responsible for my condition, but withdrawing into myself keeps me alive.

I have seen my skin a single time in an antiseptic bath. Knowing that the scars will never disappear made me cry, but there's nothing I can do. In my sterile room, I have plenty of time to think about my condition. And every second I spend thinking about it strongly increases my hatred against myself.

I could have saved her life if I woke up earlier. She deserved to live, not to die in these conditions, right before of me. Every second I spend thinking about her makes me cry, as I have never cried before. This is totally unfair, but I can't help thinking about her. It's a vicious circle that I can't get rid of.

It's raining outside, and the only thing I can do is watching painkillers slowly flowing in my IV lines, stuck into my arm. When I see more than two nurses coming into my room, I know what it means, taking an antiseptic bath once again.

I'm afraid of this big white bathtub, I know that the pain will be unbearable, even during a few seconds before the painkillers do their job. I'm trying to protest, but I know that it's for my own good. It helps my body fighting the possibles infections, given that my skin can't do its job anymore.

I'm cold, and there's nothing I can do to warm myself a bit. Everything is cold and sterile here, not the kind of place I like. In three weeks, I've seen my parents two or three times, they were behind an isolation bubble.

They think what happens to me is their own fault, because, in their mind, they believe that it was better to stay at home. I don't blame them, I blame myself because I didn't do anything.

Then, it's time for me to feel pain once again. There are four or five nurses around me, only for carrying me to put me in this bathtub. All my body tenses up from anticipation, as I try to protest with a quiet voice because my vocal cords hurt me so much.

" Not... Not again..." This is the only words I can cry.

" We can't do anything else for you, you know? This is for your own good, we can't let you down right now," told me a nurse, with a kind motherly tone.

When they put me into the bathtub, I don't feel anything for a second or two. However, the pain comes quickly and violently, as my entire body is submerged, except for my head. Even if my vocal cords hurt me, I'm still able to scream of pain. Fortunately, they adjust the painkillers rapidly, which allows me to bear it.

The feeling is dreadful as if this shit ate up my own flesh. But it seems that it works like that, even if I want to leave this bathtub. Under the water, I can see my hand, which isn't mine anymore.

I lost a lot of skin that night, and the doctors had to debride a considerable part of my arm's skin, such as for my neck and a little area of my belly. It will help with my recovery, but right now, I don't see me as a human anymore.

My whole body doesn't help me at all to consider myself as a normal girl. In this bathtub, I take a moment to think one more time about my condition without having some dark thoughts. I have to stay strong, for my parents, for my friends, and above all for...


We were supposed to share a good time together for the holidays. We were supposed to stroll around together in the woods, singing, playing, and laughing. Going back home together and then spending a whole week before going back to school.

There are so many things I wanted to tell you before. You were, for me, the sister that I have never had. You were the most important person to me apart from my parents. You were my beacon when everything was dark around me. And above all, I didn't tell you how much I loved you.

I lost everything that night. My skin, my joie de vivre, my hope, and my best friend. I can live with these scars on my body, it'll take time, but I'll get used to this. However, I won't be able to live the same life without you.

I promised you to take care of you, to protect you, to love you as much as I can. I swear, I did everything I can, but I failed in my duty. If only I had woken up earlier that night, you would be there with me today. It took me a long time to realize that you'll never come back, that I'll never see your smile again.

Fuyumi, my friend, my sister, my kindred spirit, I love you as I have never loved someone before. Everything around me is cold and pure sadness without your warmth. I promise that I'll always remember you and everything we did together. Someday, we'll be together once again, forever.

Please, forgive me...
Lilly = Akira > Miki = Hanako > Emi > Rin > Shizune

Stuff I'm currently writing : Beyond the haze : A Lilly Satou pseudo-route, Lullaby of an open heart : A Saki pseudo-route & Sakura Blossom : A way with Hisao

Post Reply