(Updated 6/14/2021) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

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NelNinja
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Re: (WIP - Updated 3/25/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - Hisao w/o Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Hanako Fancopter wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:53 am Alright I've read everything that's been posted so far. Boii does Hisao have the VN protagonist curse! Just as many girls falling over him as in the game lol. If it turns into a pseudo-harem story where he's trying to manage all the female attention without any of the dating options trying to kill the others, I certainly wouldn't complain.
Lilly and Misha will have a duel to the death, secretly, to decide which of them gets Hisao while Rin goes in the backdoor ("Giggity!") All while Emi and Mai watch jealously through the slit of Hisao's closet. Also, Iwanako and Hanako meet for a double suicide pact on the basis that their aesthetics are the same besides Hanako's scarring; hilarity ensues. Hisao decides, "I love you all equally, the only fair thing to do is have an orgy!" Cue confused females as they quietly stand barefoot in a room together. Fully clothed. "Master of Romance!"

Darn, I spoiled the climax of the story!
Hanako Fancopter wrote: I think with Emi's first bit, you did too much exposition too quickly, basically telling us the major events of Emi's time at Yamaku and where a lot of her motivations are right away, in her first appearance in the story. It's all recounted in her head as opposed to being revealed to Hisao through behavior and eventually confession. There's no need to do that and it potentially robs you of good material for down the line. I also find it a bit contrived for her to have a previous running mate similar to Hisao as if he'd gone to Yamaku after all. Just my opinion.
Fair
I will look forward to reading more of this story! I find it interesting that you are making Mai more of a significant character as opposed to only using Yamaku girls. I'm also going to picture the nurse as having four arms for the duration of this thread.
I am so confused as to why Goro has four arms, but accepted.

Also, Mai best girl ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh and last comment I particularly enjoyed the Lilly/Hanako segment ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing that interlude. I was slightly worried after no-one commented on it... It was the same update as PTSD Emi, so I shouldn't be that surprised, but something that simple won't stop the worry train!

More soonish, the plot thickens!
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Re: (WIP - Updated 3/25/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - Hisao w/o Heart Attack]

Post by Mirage_GSM »

If it turns into a pseudo-harem story where he's trying to manage all the female attention without any of the dating options trying to kill the others, I certainly wouldn't complain.
Don't worry. I would. :twisted:
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Chapter 6

Work dragged on way too long today.

After calling Hisao, he assures me he kept his promise but wanted the rest of the night to himself. “Earlier, after you left, I had a small heart flutter that really drained me.”

… Oh gods…

The worry I’ve been trying to suppress oozes out of my voice. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mea-”

“Don’t worry about it Mai, I met some people at the park that got me flustered. Add in remembering last night at an inopportune time and BOOM, heart flutter.”

That isn’t very comforting Hisao…

“Besides, it turned out one of them had a nurse for a father. He checked me out and said I was fine, though he reminded me to take it easy the rest of the day. She was super apologetic and invited me for lunch to make up.”

“Wait, a girl?”

“Yeah, she also mentioned she goes to Hosei for sports science and offered to help me up my exercise regiment; I figured you'd appreciate hearing that.”

“I mean, sure, but…” But I was hoping I could do that for y- Nope, bad Mai. “Don’t downplay a heart flutter Hisao. It’s been months since your last one. What exactly happened to cause it? Did she hit you or something?”

“Oh, uh… No, she was flirting.”

Motherfu- “Really? That’s all?” I try to turn my jealousy into playful banter, though I’m not sure he’ll buy it.

“Seriously, that’s all.” I hear him sigh at the other end of the line. “I started to say I was engaged… That’s what put me over the edge.”

I want to sigh relief, but that isn’t a much better topic. “Oh… Yeah, I can see how that would do it. You sure you’ll be fine tonight?”

“Yeah, go keep Iwanako company. I’m sure she could use it too…” His tone doesn’t fill me with confidence, but this isn’t something I should push right now.

Some small talk and pleasantries to fill the space, then the call ends.

After metaphorically slamming my head against a wall, I dial up Iwanako. She’s voiced some concerns before, but none of them seemed enough to break-up with Hisao over.

A couple rings and she picks up. “Hey Mai, you wanna come over?”

Straight to business I see. “Yeah, Hisao insists he’ll be fine today. Needs some rest anyway, so I thought I’d be a friend to the other person who went through hell yesterday.”

***

‘Nako’s parents’ house always gives me the creeps. It’s supposedly super modern - grey, metal, and angular - but it just doesn’t seem like a home. It’s three stories high, with her room being the top floor, and it couldn’t feel smaller.

Knocking on the front door, it’s only a few seconds before my friend opens the door. From her red eyes and puffy cheeks, it’s a safe bet she’s been crying, but there’s a tipsiness to her also. “Hey ‘nako, how’re you doing?”

She invites me inside, stumbling up to the second floor den. I see her mom’s alcohol on the table, confirming my suspicions.

“Mai, Mm not sure how ya plan to help, but now’s a gud time ta ask. There’s’nough liquor in ma veins I cnd’t lie if I want’d to.”

No kidding… “First, you need some coffee and food. You may answer whatever I ask, but it won’t do any good if you can’t remember anything.” Grabbing her glass, which is about half full, I down the rest of it to help calm my own nerves. I then take the bottle, put the top back on, and return it to the bar her mom uses to entertain guests.

Pulling out my phone, I order the greasiest thing on wheels: pizza. I order ‘nako’s favorite - mayo jaga with eel - then a more reasonable sausage for me. I’ve got my own disgusting preferences, but I don’t have the cash for it today.

I start up their coffee machine before plopping down next to Iwanako. “So, what led you to breaking up?”

She sits there long enough that I think she’s fallen asleep. Before I lean in to check, she speaks, “Itsh… uh long shtory…”

I put my arm around her and pull her into a tight hug. “Take as long as you need cupcake, I’ve got all night. It’ll be easier to understand you once you’re less drunk anyway.”

***

We sit there in silence for a while. Once the coffee is done and we both have some pizza in our systems, Iwanako looks much better. Eventually we separate, and while she’s definitely still drunk, more of her is there.

After getting a refill, she finally pipes up. “You’ve known Hisao since elementary school, right?”

“Yeah, we first met because he had an action figure I liked. I was bigger than he was and thought I could take it without much trouble. Turns out he was attached to that thing more than I thought, and we both got sent to the principal's office.” I take a sip of the black coffee in my mug. “Him standing up to me was impressive; been inseparable ever since.”

Not really sure what this has to do with what’s going on, but my story picks up her mood a bit. “I heard it was a magical girl figure, Sailor Mars?” I roll my eyes, garnering a chuckle from her. “I never would have pegged you as a Sailor Moon fan, too girly.”

“Hey, Mars is strong and a lot like me, okay? Sorry I felt kinship with a fictional character.” I play up my frustration, but I can’t keep a smile off my face. “Besides, what does this have to do with you breaking up with Hisao?”

A little bit of her previous somberness returns, her voice getting a little weak, “You guys have so much in common, I always feel left out when we spend time with you, Shin, and Takumi. I know Hisao loves me, but there’ve been so many barriers to jump over in our relationship. You’ve been there for him since elementary, you know better than I about his struggles with depression. He hates admitting it, but that’s been a frequent divide in our relationship. We were only just now getting to somewhere I really felt comfortable, but I’m not strong enough to be there for him during his depression, and…” Iwanako shrinks even further into herself, her voice reflecting her posture. “Then I met a guy in class…

My eyes go wide, and my jaw drops, but before I can say anything, she continues. “No, not like that, nothing has happened, but this guy I met a few months ago seems to understand me better than Hisao ever has, even a year and a half into our relationship. Better than I feel I’ll ever understand him. And that brought on a lot of questions like: Is Hisao the one? Am I his one?”

Despite ‘nako being popular in school, this is the first relationship I know she’s ever had. I guess it isn’t that weird to have doubts. “Relationships are hard ‘nako, my parents can attest to that. You know how rocky things have been since high school started, but they didn’t give up, went to counseling and are doing better than they ever were before.” I pull her close again, setting her head on my shoulder. “I’m not saying to stay in a relationship you’re unhappy with, especially if supporting him is too much, but did you ever talk with Hisao about this stuff?”

She shakes her head. “No, I never knew how to bring them up, but I’m just holding him back. I’ve done my best to support him, but he’d be much happier with someone like you Mai, someone who understands him and doesn’t shut down every time he talks science.”

I’m frozen in the embrace I gave Iwanako, seconds passing before I can respond. My uneasiness with the new revelation peeks through my tone, “W-what? No he wouldn’t. Y-you’ve seen how we are, all I do is haggle him and beat’em up. He’s happy with you Iwanako, you’re just reading too in-”

“No he’s not, I distracted him too much during high school, and he spent so much time tutoring me in science and math that he failed his entrance exams. I only got into university because of him Mai, and now I can’t even be there for him during this shitstorm. He wanted the best for me despite me not wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, and I went and gave up on us… Besides, I’ve seen how you look at him. You’ve liked him since before you met me.”

I don’t have a response. She isn’t wrong, but I’ve been hiding it for so long and got them together... By now I’m not even sure if he could see me any other way than as a friend.

The silence drags on for a long while before Mai pushes me with her hip. “I’m not mad Mai, I didn’t even realize it until after we were dating, but with all these questions and doubts in my mind… I just can’t continue our relationship. You’ve been there beside him for years Mai; I’ve just been playing adult…” She settles more deeply into me. “This has been churning though my head for a while, but when he proposed last night I couldn’t spend any more time figuring it out. I’d even been moving stuff slowly to my parent’s house while he was at work.”

Wait, back up. I withdraw from her a bit to look her in the eye. “You’ve been what? How long have you been having these doubts?” My voice is a bit louder than I wanted, but she doesn’t back down.

“A few weeks. I didn’t mention it to you because I knew you’d tell him if he asked. We both know he can be a bit oblivious, but he isn’t blind. I was certain he’d notice my distance at some point…”

Bullshit! He didn’t notice crap Iwanako!” I stand up so fast she has to catch herself before falling on the couch. “He has no fucking clue what the hell is going on. As far as he knows, you blindsided him with this!”

Iwanako spends a few seconds processing my words before meeting my glare with guilt. “Wait, so he proposed…?”

“Because he fucking LOVES you Iwanako! He didn’t think he was losing you, he just wanted to spend the rest of his goddamned life with you! What the fuck were you thinking ‘nako!” I practically slam my mug on the glass table, turning away and frantically pulling my hair.

A few minutes pass with neither of us saying a word. I’m too furious to say anything, and Iwanako looks too guilt-ridden.

Finally, with a face of resolve, she breaks the silence. “Mai, it doesn’t matter if he noticed or not. I’m not sure I care about him that way anymore, and even if I did I couldn’t give him the support he needs.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, but deep down a part of me feels joy. How the fuck could I be happy about this? The only response I can muster is a growl of frustration before collapsing next to Iwanako.

“Look, you know I would never want to hurt Hisao, but now I’m questioning every decision I’ve made ever since we started dating. Even if I still care, sorting this all out and asking him to wait would just be cruel.” Tears begin streaming down her face. “This hurts me just as much as it does him, Mai, but I can’t just stay there. I’ll end up resenting him…”

My frustration settles a bit, enough that I can keep it from my voice. “Yeah… I guess I can understand that…” I really can’t, but I’ve never been in a situation like this either; I’ve never seen Hisao’s heart or his struggles as a burden. I shake my head to clear it. “Look, regardless of your decision, you owe it to him to it explain it in person.” She flinches, but I can tell she agrees. “If you need someone there, I can grab Shin to keep me company and wait nearby. If either of you need help, we’ll be there, but you gotta handle this solo buttercup.”

She hesitantly nods, leaning into me before her tears return. “I know Mai… But not today. Maybe not until next week.”

I hold her close, just letting her cry into my shoulder. After a bit, I begin to stroke her hair and she gradually calms down. “You never answered me earlier ‘nako: how are you doing?”

This elicits a light titter. “Not good, Mai, but I’ll get there.”

I give her one last squeeze before backing off. “Good enough. I’ll let Hisao know you’ll talk to him but that it’ll be a bit, okay?”

“Thanks, I don’t deserve you as a friend.”

My voice takes on a warm and soft tone. “Bullshit, everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. One day you’ll return the favor.”

With a half-hearted punch from the bag of tears, we move on to lighter topics.

-----

Prev | Next

_____________________________________________________

Finally got this chapter in order; lots of stuff changed since I wrote this so I had to go back through and change a couple things, which mean Mirage had to edit it again...

Anyway, it's Mai's first chapter! And it gives perspective on Iwanako's decision! A friend of mine who's reading this despises Iwanako as a character even after this chapter (though understands her depiction), so hopefully she's got enough character to not be one dimensional. This is also where Bantamweights becomes apparent with the design of Iwanako's parent's house and the liquor stuffs. Future thanks to Leaty once she actually logs on an (hopefully) approves. Also current thanks to Dewelar since Leaty wrote it within his world and gave permission.

Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome!
Last edited by NelNinja on Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Character Impressions:
Misha>Emi=Hanako=Lilly=Shizune=Rin
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The Sound of Silence - Shizune one-shot
Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate - Hisao sans heart attack (Uncancelled)
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Re: (WIP - Updated 3/25/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - Hisao w/o Heart Attack]

Post by Raimen »

NelNinja wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:45 am
I'm also going to picture the nurse as having four arms for the duration of this thread.
I am so confused as to why Goro has four arms, but accepted.
Pick me! Pick me! I know this one!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goro_(Mortal_Kombat)

And yes, a small part of my brain thinks about 4 armed Goro whenever I read that name for the Nurse.
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Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by Feurox »

I apologise, I said I'd follow this but I haven't commented on it in a long time. Things have been hectic. Still, I actually don't have many constructive comments that haven't been made before by those better suited to do it. Still, I know how much those 'just keep doing what you're doing' comments can feel, so I'll leave you with one of those. The quality started quite lacklustre, to be honest, but you consistently improve with every post. I definitely started reading this with some scepticism, but you've taken criticism constructively and honed your writing consistently. Keep up the good work and well done.
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Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by dewelar »

Popped in for the first time in a few days to find a new update, and a pretty interesting one!
NelNinja wrote: Tue Apr 09, 2019 1:15 pmAlso current thanks to Dewelar since Leaty wrote it within his world and gave permission.
Technically, I'd call it a shared world, since Iwanako and Mai in Bantamweights are canonically the same characters that appeared in Ch.60 of Developments, and the concept of the Daidouji home was originally Leaty's, although I did build on it a bit. Obviously, your Iwanako and Mai are different from ours, but I won't hold that against you :wink:. I know Leaty doesn't follow the boards anymore (I don't even think she follows the responses to MTtB these days), but for what it's worth next time we talk I will make sure she's aware of this story's existence.

Anyway, a few ideas are beginning to roll around in my head about where it might be headed, which is always a good sign for my interest level. This is the first fanfic I've read (major qualifier there, as I haven't read all that many, especially in the past couple years) where Mai is interested in Hisao, and I am thus greatly looking forward to her interactions with the YamaCrew, as I expect there should be a few sparks flying in several directions :twisted:.

See you next time!
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Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
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Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

dewelar wrote: Tue Apr 09, 2019 10:16 pmTechnically, I'd call it a shared world, since Iwanako and Mai in Bantamweights are canonically the same characters that appeared in Ch.60 of Developments, and the concept of the Daidouji home was originally Leaty's, although I did build on it a bit. Obviously, your Iwanako and Mai are different from ours, but I won't hold that against you :wink:. I know Leaty doesn't follow the boards anymore (I don't even think she follows the responses to MTtB these days), but for what it's worth next time we talk I will make sure she's aware of this story's existence.
You should let her know to go back and fill MTtB with, "This is a dead fic," if she doesn't intend, or can't, finish it. She promised she would in that thread :P
Dewelar wrote: Anyway, a few ideas are beginning to roll around in my head about where it might be headed, which is always a good sign for my interest level. This is the first fanfic I've read (major qualifier there, as I haven't read all that many, especially in the past couple years) where Mai is interested in Hisao, and I am thus greatly looking forward to her interactions with the YamaCrew, as I expect there should be a few sparks flying in several directions :twisted:.

See you next time!
There are so many ideas rolling around in my head, I'm glad someone else is getting a few of them.
Feurox wrote: ... I actually don't have many constructive comments that haven't been made before by those better suited to do it. Still, I know how much those 'just keep doing what you're doing' comments can feel, so I'll leave you with one of those. The quality started quite lackluster, to be honest, but you consistently improve with every post. I definitely started reading this with some scepticism, but you've taken criticism constructively and honed your writing consistently. Keep up the good work and well done.
Thank you! It really does help keep up my spirits! I'm glad to hear it's gotten better, it certainly feel like it has on my end.

Edit:
Raimen wrote: Tue Apr 09, 2019 2:33 pm
NelNinja wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:45 am
I'm also going to picture the nurse as having four arms for the duration of this thread.
I am so confused as to why Goro has four arms, but accepted.
Pick me! Pick me! I know this one!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goro_(Mortal_Kombat)

And yes, a small part of my brain thinks about 4 armed Goro whenever I read that name for the Nurse.
Huh, that explains it. Four armed Nurse it is
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Character Impressions:
Misha>Emi=Hanako=Lilly=Shizune=Rin
I wrote things!
The Sound of Silence - Shizune one-shot
Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate - Hisao sans heart attack (Uncancelled)
PB and Bananas (Post Rin good ending one-shot)
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Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Chapter 7

Sundays are usually one big lazy day where Iwanako and I just sit around and do nothing, enjoying each other’s company…

That won’t happen again anytime soon.

Turning my head to see the clock, it reads 8 AM. I’ve been awake for several hours now wallowing about Friday and being numb to the world around me. Forcing the gears to turn, I sit up to take my morning medication. Taking them has become mechanical, but there is nothing behind my movements today except habit.

I’m far from considering it, but a very small part of me wants to just stop taking these pills. The thought has been there since I was diagnosed with arrhythmia… Iwanako helped drown it out. Now that’s she’s not here it isn’t a real threat, but it’s louder than I’m comfortable with. Grabbing my cell phone, I want to call Mai or Shin, but I don’t really have the energy for it. However, I don’t want to be alone, so I send them both a text. The little bit of energy I had spent, I collapse back into bed, not even bothering to pull the covers over me.

My drowsiness is interrupted by a knock at the door. I’d check my phone to see who was headed over, but I don’t dare waste energy when I could just answer the door. Sliding out of bed, I catch that it’s now 10 AM. At least I got some more sleep.

Arduously making my way to the door, I turn the deadbolt and let the weight of my hand open it up. I’m not sure who I would have prefered, but both of the friends I contacted are standing in front of me.

“Hey man, I’d ask how you’re holding up, but I can guess just by how terrible you look.” Shin pushes past, making sure not to barrel through me. I think I hear the rustle of a plastic bag.

Mai just leans forward and pulls me into a hug. It catches me off guard for a moment, but it’s a welcome feeling. Returning the hug, she holds me for a while before stepping back, slipping off her coat, and flicking my forehead. “That’s for your depressing text. ‘If it isn’t too much trouble-’ What kind of friends do you take us for?” Her words hold none of their usual bite.

It’s kinda comforting being reprimanded.

I push the door closed behind her, turning to see Shin ransacking my kitchen looking for something. “What do you need Shin?”

“Ah! Here they are.” He pulls out some bottles of sauce I’d forgotten he gave me a while back. “Gonna need these for what I’m making.”

The bag he brought with him has a lot more in it than I anticipated. He removes several containers and sets them on the counter. Looking them over, I think I can put together what he’s making. “Ramen? Were you planning on coming over today to make this before I texted?” The way he makes ramen means at least 2 days of work preparing the kombu dashi and tare with another day of work to take care of the pork and stock.

“No, but I was planning on making this today. Happy little coincidence that you happened to text.” With a wink, he begins making the final preparations he’ll need here. Shin has always had a knack for cooking, though I’m not sure if he plans to pursue it further than that.

Mai grabs my arm and pulls me to the couch, basically throwing me into it, as she triumphantly holds a DVD case. “This, my hopeless friend, is a masterpiece that you have not yet had the pleasure of experiencing.”

Looking at the name on the case, my eyes open wide and a anticipatory grin replaces the funk I’ve been displaying. “Akira? Your older brother finally let you borrow it?” The sly smirk on her face tells me this isn’t the case. “You didn’t.”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him; he’s on a trip with his girlfriend this weekend. Won’t be back till tomorrow night.” She meanders over to my DVD player, popping the case open. “He tried to lock his door to keep me out, but we both know that won’t stop me!”

She takes out the disc, opens the tray, places the hallowed disc inside, and taps it to close. Almost skipping back to the couch, she plops down next to me and proceeds to get comfortable. I look at her slightly confused. “We’re just gonna watch this while Shin makes the ramen?”

“Don’t worry about me man, I’ve seen this before. Enjoy it bro, just remember Mai ain’t no girl.” This earns him a glare from the pertinent party, but nothing comes of it.

“Asshole.” Mai seems to hesitate for a moment, but eventually puts both her hands behind her head. “Just sit back and enjoy Hisao. I think you’ll like this.”

***

Whoa…

That’s about the only thing I can formulate in my head by the end of the movie. “Shit, I knew this was good, but I could never have guessed that’s what happened.” Images of telekinetic destruction reel through my head. I sit with my half-finished bowl of ramen, letting the whole movie slowly sink in.

Mai noisily eats hers, having no tact nor respect for my musings. “Very true. Shame Tetsuo couldn’t get ahold of his powers before tragedy struck, though.”

“Hey, sometimes fate says, ‘Screw you!’ and you just have to roll with it. Not exactly a happy ending, but satisfying.” Shin finishes his bowl, checking his watch. “Sorry I can’t stay longer. I’ve got a date to get ready for.” While I’m sure he’s genuine, his face says he’s far from sorry.

“No, it’s fine, leave your best friend in the clutches of this unstable woman. Nothing bad could happen.” This earns me a punch from Mai.

Shin stands up, washing out his bowl before placing it on the counter. “Seriously though Hisao, I’m here if you need me, man. Don’t be afraid to call or text for anything.” With a wave, he strides out of my apartment.

Mai and I chat about what film to watch next; evidently she brought several over from her brother’s room. Once I finish my ramen, as much as I want to continue this lazy day, I should make sure I get my exercise. Mai agrees, picking up her jacket from earlier.

Once we’re out of the apartment, we decide on going to the nearby park. On our way over, Mai seems to be pondering something. “What’s up Mai? I know you’re here for me, but if something is on your mind, I’m willing to listen.”

She looks between me and the ground a few times before releasing the breath she was holding. “I went to see Iwanako last night like you said I should. She isn’t doing much better than you are, Hisao, and after she explained to me what’s going on I made her promise that she’d talk to you about it. She’s not sure when she’ll be ready for it, but she said the soonest would be next week.” Shaking her head, she continues. “This is a clusterfuck Hisao. I’m so sorry this all happened…”

I can't say this is exactly what I wanted to talk about, but if it was weighing on Mai I don’t want her as miserable as either of us. “Thanks. I’m glad you can be there for her as well. It hurt Friday night, but I just want her to be happy. She deserves that much.” … Do I really believe that?

“Yeah, I don't think she believes that, but I won’t let her push me away. You know how stubborn I can be.”

Oh boy do I.

“Yeah, you kept pushing me to confess to Iwanako like some matchmaker gone crazy.” Despite the heavy subject, the smile on my face holds strong. “Don’t take the last few days too hard Mai; there might be some things I would have done differently, had I known this would happen, but that's no reason to dwell on it.”

Mai doesn’t look too convinced, so I push onward. “Besides, me confessing led to finding out about my arrhythmia. If it hadn’t been caught then, who knows what would have set off that time bomb. I could have had a heart attack and been in the hospital for months! As is, I got to finish high school with my best friend.” Taking a step towards her, I push her shoulder with mine. “Best friends since elementary, right?”

Mai’s troubled look doesn’t disappear, but she nods. “Yeah, and I got a sweet Sailor Mars figure out of it!” She puts on a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Is Iwanako really what has you troubled Mai? I’m sure you’re worried about me, but that look on your face says there’s something more going on.”

Something flashes across her face, but I don’t catch what it is before her face hardens. “Would you listen to me if I said not to worry about it?”

That catches me by surprise. I can’t remember the last time Mai didn’t tell me something without making clear she couldn’t. “I won’t lie and say it solves my worrying, but I won’t push if you don’t wanna talk about it.”

Although I said that to ease her burden, her expression becomes pained. “It’s not so much that I don’t want to talk about it, but now just isn’t a good time.” She stops walking and holds up her left hand, pinky extended. “I promise I’ll tell you one day, okay? Just not today…”

“If you promise, I’ll trust your judgment.” I raise my right pinky and we both curl them around each other. “Just remember - I’m here for you if you need it.”

That’s part of the problem…

She mumbles something that I can’t quite make out, but before I can ask about it, she releases my pinky. “Thanks. Now come on Jackass, let’s get moving.”

-----

Prev | Next

_________________________________________________________________________________

Edit: My 42nd post; sadly, this does not contain the ultimate question to life, the universe, and everything. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Inb4 someone says this chapter is pointless; no credit for you.

I watched Akira for the first time a little over a year ago; I liked it. It's weird, in a good way, and Hisao's reaction is very similar to mine. Sadly, I don't think I can fit the iconic motorcycle skid in this fanfic, but we'll see.
Last edited by NelNinja on Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: (Updated 4/15/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Retcon Initiated

After much pondering and debate with trusted friends, I have removed Chapter 4b and moved the second half of Interlude 1 into that post. I dropped way too much too fast for the story I'm looking to tell and left myself nowhere for the story to expand. Nothing in the story so far changes because of the revelations from the chapter and it ends up feeling out of place because of it, hence it's removal.

I'm currently working on the next chapter and am happy with where the story is going, but now I have some more material to work with.

Your normal life may now resume. That is all.
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Re: (Updated 4/15/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by Raimen »

I reread chapter 4 and 5, and it took me a while to remember the part that you removed. (The fact that myself and others commented on it helped...)

Without knowing your plans, I think it's a good change. Chapters 4 and 5 still flow together quite nicely. And as you've said, you've got some room to grow.

I don't have a lot of fan fic experience (I'm still working on my first one, 13k words so far!), but I did know that removing what you've written hurts. I think I threw away the first 2k words of my story. It was tough for me, but I know my story is better because of it. I'm sure Pilgrimage will be better because of your retcon too.

Hang in there! I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
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Re: (Updated 7/16/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Interlude 2

---Misha---

I wonder what clouds taste like…

Sitting on a bench outside my apartment, I swing my legs idly while staring at the sky, waiting for Hacchan to come down so we can catch the train into Bunkyō.

Wednesdays are always weird. Hacchan’s classes aren’t early, but they aren’t late either, meaning we have to leave around 10 AM to get there on time. This means I don’t start my job until close to 11 AM since I walk her to class before heading there. Which means way too much time by myself.

Despite this, I feel a genuine smile appear on my face. Hacchan has made great strides to get out of her shell, and she’s working on a degree in Social Work since she wants to give back after receiving so much since her accident. I don’t know the details, but it came up when I asked her where she gets all her money since her parents aren’t available and she didn’t have a job. She didn’t like the question, but it turns out she has been getting money from the government for a long while since her family was gone. She’ll always have to deal with her anxiety, but I’m really proud of her.

While I’m waiting, maybe I should check on Hicchan! It’s been a bit since his breakup, and Hacchan asked me to talk to him about tutoring. I pull out my phone, its bedazzled pink sparkling in the morning sun.
Misha wrote:Hey Hicchan! How are you today? I should have some free time tonight; wanna hang out? I’ve got a favor to ask of you.
Mulling the text over in my head for a moment, I decide this is just the right amount of familiarity to show. I’ve known him casually for almost a year since he visited the café I work at frequently, but this whole ‘friends’ step is new. Having a guy friend is especially new. I’ve always seemed to have girl friends around me my whole life. Personal taste aside, guys don’t seem comfortable around me. Dunno why, I’m so friendly with everyone!

Glancing at the clock on my phone, it looks as if Hacchan has a few minutes before we need to leave. As I’m deciding if I should trust her to be up or not, a ronin thought pops up to ruin my mood.

Why did you stay here?

This makes my pleasant smile flip into a depressing frown. You know why I stayed, I didn’t get accepted into a foreign school.

But why HERE? Why come to Tokyo with people who know your struggles?

I care about them, I wanna help Hacc-

They do nothing for you. You’re just being used and will be discarded. Just like with Shicchan…

I pull my knees up to my chest, these intrusive thoughts forcing tears to build up. No, that isn’t what happened. She apologized and thanked me profusely when she left Yamaku for Kyoto, and she still texts me regularly. She even visits occasionally. That isn’t what happened.

She’s just keeping you around to use ag-

“SHUT UP!” My voice echoes through the small street. I press my face into my knees, infinitely grateful for waterproof mascara. Minutes pass before I calm down. I grab the handkerchief Shicchan gave me when we graduated - it’s the same deep blue of her hair with my name embroidered into a corner - and blot out the tears. I pull out my phone and set a reminder to call my counselor. I’ll see them later this week, but I may need something sooner.

Quiet steps from the stairs catch my attention. I force happiness onto my face before glancing over. Hacchan finally decided to come down. I quickly check my phone. It’s later than I’d like, but we should be fine if we hurry. “Hey sleepy head!”

Hacchan flinches at my voice more than usual. “Misha, please l-lower your volume today. Akira sent Lilly some w-wine, and I h-had a bit too much…”

“No can do~, Hacchan! This is an important lesson you need to learn. If I coddle you, it’ll never sink in!” She continues to wince, a look of defeat apparent on her face.

“F-fine, but can you at least not get louder to punish me?”

“Very perceptive, Hacchan.” Getting up from my bench I bound over to her to give her a big~ hug. My voice is noticeably softer now, feeling I’ve teased her enough. “Don’t worry Hacchan, drink lots of water, make sure you get your daily nutrition, and this’ll all pass before you know it!”

Hacchan lets out a relieved sigh. “T-thank you Misha. Shall we h-head out now?” She’s still tense when we hug, but the fact that she doesn’t run away anymore is good enough for me.

“Lets!” Hacchan winces as I let my normal volume slip. I revert to my kind voice again. “Sorry, Hacchan…”

---Hanako---

A glance at my watch tells me there are only a few more minutes left on this train before our stop. Train rides are always difficult with so many people in close proximity. I stay behind Misha, doing my best to hide. Her pink hair and bubbly personality grab people’s attention just a bit sooner than my constant anxiety and scarred right side. A year ago, I never would have thought I’d be grateful - or close - to her.

I remember the day Shizune fell down the stairs at Yamaku. I didn’t see it happen, but I heard the commotion and her scream, though I didn’t know it was her at the time. She broke her arm and missed a week of school between going to the hospital and bed rest. I finally put two-and-two together when she came back to class with a cast on her left arm and a splint on her right hand.

Weeks passed, but eventually Naomi persuaded me to interview them about the Student Council elections. I was terrified when I arrived in the Council room, but Shizune spoke to me - with words - and managed to keep me calm. She insisted I push back my hair so she could see my full face while talking; I didn’t want to show my scars, but her speaking felt so… intimate, that I found myself unable to refuse. After that, Lilly and Shizune’s bond slowly repaired itself and I found myself with two more friends.


“Approaching Ichigaya Station.”

Pulled from my memories, Misha turns her head and smiles her typical broad grin. “Ready?”

I return her smile with a small one of my own. “Y-yeah.”

---Hisao---

“Takumi, I swear I’m fine; her dad checked it out and there’s nothing to worry about. I feel fine after the flutter… I know you want to be here for me, but you’ve gotta focus on your schooling in Kyoto man. Focus on becoming the best businessman in the world first and then you can worry about me; if nothing else, I’ve got both Shin and Mai nearby helping me, and I met some new friends recently that have been a great help, too.

“...

“Yeah, we broke up a couple weeks ago now… Sorry I didn’t let you know myself, you know how it is after a break up… I’m doing okay now. I think she’s doing pretty good as well, if Mai is to be believed. ‘Could just be telling me that to stop me from worrying, but I’ll accept her word for now.

“...

“Oh? A girl caught your eye? What’s she like man? … She sounds abrasive. Don't take that the wrong way, Mai's abrasive too. Just don’t get ahead of yourself. If what you say is true, it sounds like she’s really trying to do well in the class; don’t distract her too much during your group project! … It doesn’t matter what color her hair is, don't rush it! … You're welcome, good luck.

“I’ve gotta head out to do some tutoring for those friends I mentioned, already gonna be late as it is… Science and Math. Gotta keep up my education somehow... Yeah, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Ending the call, I bring up my contacts and pull up my new friend’s number. Hitting call, there are only a couple rings before she answers.

“Hicchan~! What’s up? You can still tutor Hacchan and Lilly, right?”

“Yeah, I got held up talking with an old friend. I’m heading out now and should be over there soon. Let Hanako and Lilly know for me, it’s still weird calling them up directly.”

“No~ worries, Hicchan, we’re just finishing up lunch; they’ll be all ready when you get here!”

“Thanks Misha, see you ladies in a bit.”

With a clack, I flip the phone shut and stow it in my pocket. One last check to make sure I’ve got everything I need and I’m out the door.

-----

Prev | Next

_________________________________________________________________________________

Guess it's time to continue the credit train as part of this chapter (Hanako's part) is based on Lap's Avenue's of Communication, with obvious changes (Hisao being absent), with permission.

Enjoy!
Last edited by NelNinja on Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: (Updated 7/16/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Chapter 8

“Hisao, over here!” Emi enthusiastically catches my eye as Mai and I approach the theater.

“Going off of your description, I take it the short-stack is Emi?”

I’m still unclear as to why Emi insisted I go with her and Rin to see a movie this Saturday, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to finally introduce the ever-friendly Mai to her short counterpart in keeping me healthy; seeing her reaction to Rin is just a bonus.

“Yeah, that’s her.” Rin seems vacant, as usual, though I think she’s staring at one of the posters for a movie. “Her armless friend is Rin, the one who thinks I can teleport.”

As we approach the two complimentary friends, Mai’s put on her best smile; she’s always trying to make good first impressions. “Hey! I’m Nakamura Mai. You’re the one who’s been so interested to meet me?” Ever since I mentioned Mai’s been keeping up with Judo and is her predecessor in keeping me healthy, Emi has bugged me to bring her along on one of our outings.

“Yep! Ibarazaki Emi, gotta vet all those who are staying on his ass to keep him in shape!” She seems overjoyed to make her acquaintance. “Rin, introduce yourself.”

Seeming to finally realize she’s around people, Rin turns towards Emi confused. “But Hisao already knows me…” At which point she catches Mai standing next to me. “Oh, hello.”



Nope, that’s it. “Mai, this is Tezuka Rin. Rin, Nakamura Mai.” Mai gives a small, ‘Yo,’ before Rin seems to have lost interest.

“We should get the tickets for the movie. I wanna see this one.” Lifting a foot, she points towards a poster with a small, dirty robot presenting a boot - a plant growing from it - to another, much cleaner, robot that looked almost like a capsule.

Rolling her eyes, Emi flicks her head towards the ticket booth before turning to walk to it. “That’s what we’re here to do, Rin. Care to make any small talk?”

Rin’s head turns off it’s axis. “How do you talk small? Is it like a... whisper?”

Mai’s eyes are already pleading for help. “Don’t worry, this is quite tame so far.”

***

“You know, I didn’t think Rin was capable of sitting through an entire movie…” As we walk out of the theater, Rin and Mai are ahead of me and Emi talking. Well… talking might be a stretch; I think Rin is talking about the movie and Mai’s doing her best to understand. Regardless, I think Rin’s taken a shine to her.

“You’d be surprised at the concentration she’s capable of. When she paints, she’ll often sit there until it’s finished, only taking breaks when me, my mom, or Goro step in to make sure she’s eating and sleeping.”

“Well, at least you don’t have to worry about her becoming one of the humans from the movie, sitting all-day, consuming shakes until they’re blobs of fat.”

Emi shudders a bit, but there’s a smile on her face. “True, but I liked it. The main robot was so cute!” Her fists are just below her face as she begins to bounce.

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun, especially when he flew around space with a fire extinguisher.”

Emi squeals remembering the scene, her nose adorably scrunching with her smile. “I know! I think that was my favorite scene of the whole movie!”

It’s at this point that Mai looks back, her eyes pleading for someone to come save her. “I think Mai’s reaching her limit. You said lunch was on you today?” Quickening my pace to catch up, Emi beams.

“Yeah! My mom should be here soon with lunch; I know a good park near here where we can have a picnic!” She bounds forward and grabs one of Rin’s sleeves. She gives Mai a wink before pulling Rin off towards the restroom.

As they leave, Mai’s head collides with my collarbone. “Your friend is weird, Hisao…”

“Mai, that is her normal; you haven’t even seen her weird yet.” Her only response is a resounding Hnnnnngh.

“What about Emi? I thought you two would get along pretty well.”

Mai’s head continues to rest on my shoulder. “She’s okay. We didn’t get to talk much during the movie, but she seems like someone I could be friends with.” Lifting her head, her previous frustration slowly bleeds away. “She’s the one you run with in the mornings, right?

“Yeah, that’s her. Same girl whose step-dad checked me after my heart flutter a couple weeks ago.”

Mai looks down, inspecting her lower legs. “Almost can’t tell she wears prosthetics.”

“When she runs she’s got a different set of legs; they’re much thinner and less normal looking.” I draw their shape with my finger. “Kinda like blades. Emi bounces a lot on them, running seems really important to her.” Thinking of her determined look and bright smile brings a grin to my face.

Mai takes a moment to respond though I can’t quite place the emotion on her face. “... You seem to really like her.”

A shrug is my first response. “She’s got a fire inside of her; it’s hard not to be impressed by seeing her run, as if she never lost her legs. She hasn’t told me about how she lost them, but I know running was a big thing for her dad. From how she talks about him, and how her mom looks when he’s mentioned, I don’t think they seperated.” I recall when I foolishly asked about him at dinner one night, how awkward the conversation became. “I think she would tell me if I asked - about her father and her legs, but it seems like such a painful memory…”

Whatever Mai’s feeling deepens. Before I get the courage to ask, Emi and Rin wander back up. “Okay, you guys ready for a bombshell lunch? My mom just messaged that she’s outside, come on!” Emi grabs Mai’s hand without hesitation, pulling her towards the doors.

“Hey! Slow down!”

***

Life is pain.

As I lie in the park, I regret every decision I ever made leading up to this moment. Looking at the sweets, remembering how delectable they were, Emi’s freaking face. “I think I’m gonna be sick…”

“That’s what you get for finishing everything they brought for lunch, dumbass.”

I groan and roll onto my side so I can’t see Mai’s judgment. “Leftovers are for the weak and unmotivated; it would have been rude to leave anything left when it was so good…

Meiko’s beams at my praise. “I appreciate that Hisao, but I was prepared to bring some home to my husband…”

Betrayal, that is the only emotion left to feel in this moment.

Rin lies next to me on the grass, deciding an afternoon nap was in order after such a meal. Even if she were awake, I doubt she’d support my decision or understand what’s going on.

“Mai’s right Hisao, you really are a dumbass.” Her chiding remark is underlined with a laugh filled with angels - horrible, lying, deceitful angels.

“Don’t start Emi! You’re the one who said it would have been so difficult to carry this all back by yourself!” I can’t see her directly as she’s sitting next to Mai, but every ounce of frustration I have backs those words.

“I wanted you to help me carry them, not eat everything! Some first mate you are.” This gets me to look back at her.

Despite her unkind tone, she has a devilish smile across her face, mocking me. “Aye, that’s why ye didn’t botha to clarify when I began devouring it.” Pirates have not been discussed by the look of confusion on Mai’s face. Cue more angels and their damned fallen master.

***

After spending a few more hours with Emi and Rin, Mai and I headed off back towards my apartment. She has a shift tonight, and I felt it was time to head home.

Today was a good day.

Mai seemed to really get along with Emi once they got to talking, but there was something hanging over her ever since lunch. It was subtle but obvious once you’ve gotten to know her. As we walk down the streets of Suginami, I glance at her while she’s distracted with a shop window.

Mai’s almost never a touchy-feely type of person, but when the chips are down she’ll do just about anything to help a friend. She’s abrasive, crude and just a bit childish at times, but she just has a hard time feeling vulnerable and showing that side of her. A lot of people struggle with it, but Mai’s choice is to hide it all behind the mask of anger and detachment. But honestly, I love that about her, I love her in a lot of ways.

I look away before she turns back just in case I give the wrong impression. She’s doing better since we left, but that air of fog and discontent is still around her. I walk her to the train station before waving her off.

Okay, time to head home and… Sit around bored with nothing to do… I didn’t think this all the way through…

Approaching the stairs to my apartment, I pull out my keys and trudge up to the third floor. With my eyes looked on the ground, lost in thought, I don’t notice her until she speaks up.

“Hi, Hisao…”

My head snaps up, locking on to her mauve eyes. “... Iwanako?”

-----

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Last edited by NelNinja on Thu May 27, 2021 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: (Updated 7/28/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Official Notice of Fan Fic Death/Rebirth

I'm not sure how many people were following this fic but with work taking up 70% of my time, friends another 20, leaving the last 10% to recuperation, I'm unable to keep writing this fic. While I'm mostly satisfied with where this started, I never sat down and defined this world past the developmental stage nor had any idea with where the story was going. However, it isn't all bad.

Because I'm being forced to set down this fic, I'm finally nailing down all the uncertainties I had going into this story and will come back and tell this story proper.

To those who enjoyed what I wrote, thank you for your words of encouragement and support. I'll be back someday.


5/27/2021
Cowardice! No actual promises to finish this but we're gonna ride this ride till it runs itself into the ground or die trying, or at least until my buffer runs dry; hopefully people actually enjoy this..
Last edited by NelNinja on Thu May 27, 2021 9:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
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I wrote things!
The Sound of Silence - Shizune one-shot
Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate - Hisao sans heart attack (Uncancelled)
PB and Bananas (Post Rin good ending one-shot)
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Re: (Updated 7/28/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Chapter 9

Lying in bed, artificial light trails in through my window. Rolling my head to the right, blocky, segmented red lights tell me it’s 2 AM. I stare at my blank ceiling, drawing shapes with my eyes going from stucco bump to stucco bump. My medication occasionally interrupts my sleep schedule, but with everything that’s happened I can’t blame it for tonight. Iwanako and I talked for what felt like ages, explaining everything she was experiencing.

I don’t know who I am anymore or where my feelings lie in our relationship. I can’t support you like I used to. That’s why I walked away when I did, Hisao. I can’t ask you to wait for me to figure it all out; you deserve better than that, better than me.

A few weeks ago, I would have fought those words mercilessly, never letting up until her decision changed, but now? Now I think I might agree…

My eyes are tired, but my mind and body are restless. Physical activity always helps during this time, and since my preferred method of such things is unavailable for the foreseeable future, I stand up and change out of my pajamas. Collecting my wallet, keys and jacket I walk out of my apartment towards some place where I can think.



The streets are quiet at this time of night, though there’s more activity than I thought there would be. My feet eventually carry me to the park, a place I’ve found calms my mind. I won’t be running as I don’t want to risk any heart issues, but walking the same paths I run with Emi should bring the same calming effect.

When Mai said Iwanako was finally ready to talk, I was relieved. I thought I might be able to change her mind, though not much of me expected that to happen. I thought it would leave me with more of a sense of closure than it did, but it really just confirmed the strands of ideas at the back of my mind I’ve been avoiding.

You didn’t do enough. Looking back, you saw she was drifting away and you ignored it, thought giving her space was the right thing to do, and now your first love is effectively gone. Way to go champ.


Lost in thought, I wandered off the path and trip over a root. Stumbling forward, I look back to see a girl bundled up under the tree, her jacket sleeves limp by her sides. The tree she’s under is one of the larger trees in the park with lots of roots and some knots along it. Her face is covered by a hood, but I can see the fringes of her hair. Couple that with the limp sleeves and I have a pretty good idea who this is.

Plopping down next to my sleeping friend, surprisingly she stirs, her lids lazily half-shut. “Hey Hisao, what’s got you worried?”

Confusion is a natural phenomenon around Rin, but still... “What brings that up? What makes you say I’m worried?”

Her half-shut eyes take on an air of incredulousness I thought impossible for Rin. “You’re at a worry tree. Better one near Yamaku, but that’s too far away to get to quickly…” Which gives way to curiosity. “How’d you know it’s a worry tree? Are you psychic?” Her eyes open fully as she finishes her thought.

A sigh escapes me. “No, just couldn’t sleep.”

Her relief pushes aside her curiosity for the moment. “Good, I don’t like psychics. I’m bad at words, so mind reading can be good, but minds are solitary places. Like a field of flowers and pants.”

I decide to not ask about the last part. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience; have you met a psychic?”

She shakes her head. “No, but Nurse showed me a movie he thought I’d like. It started cool, there was a guy on a bike I thought looked good, but eventually his friend got psychic powers and started destroying stuff and was mean to his girlfriend. The first guy found some laser gun and fought him, but didn’t win. It all ended with a big explosion. That’s why I don’t like psychics.”

That sounds familiar. “Wait, you mean Akira?”

Rin takes a moment as if this information is deep within her brain before nodding lightly. “Yeah, that’s what he called it. I don’t understand why it’s called that though…” She seems to be concentrating enough that it's extremely uncomfortable as her brow furrows and her mouth scrunches. “I don’t remember anyone called Akira in it.”

I shake my head. “How much did you actually watch?”

Rin’s neutral expression returns, her eyes staring into the distance. “I didn’t pay attention to all of it, the colors and stuff got me so I started thinking of a painting.” Her face half turns towards me. “I told you what I remember of it.”

I slowly place a hand on my forehead. “So almost none of it… To answer your original question, a lot is on my mind so I came walking and found you. I didn’t know this was a worry tree, I just tripped and found you.”

She lets out a small yawn. “That would explain what woke me up.”

“I mentioned it on the day I met you that I recently got out of a relationship. I didn’t say it then, but it was my first one and we were together for a year and a half.” Rin’s staring off into the distance, but gives a sage nod when I glance towards her. “Well, she broke up with me after I proposed… And she finally talked to me yesterday to explain why.”

“Sounds like the first time Emi saw me without clothes.” Images swiftly begin flooding my head before I push them aside. Rin doesn’t react to my blushing. “Can’t say I’ll be much help, I’ve never dated anyone, but you can talk.” I’m still recovering from her previous statement, but her neutral tone makes it difficult to tell if she’s being serious.

I decide to take what she said at face value. “Thanks, telling someone about it may help but... where do I start?”

“The beginning.” She looks at me directly in the eye with a blank look on her face before drifting back to nothing.

Good as anywhere, I guess. “Iwanako, the girl I’m talking about, is someone I admired from afar for a long time. She always seemed so regal, so removed, that I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her, let alone confess. I never would have if Mai hadn’t pushed me to… They were friends, much to my surprise, and she seemed so confident in me that I couldn’t say no. She typed up a note and gave it to Iwanako after having me sign it so she would think it was from me. It was just to get her out somewhere alone, Mai made sure it was up to me to confess. She said, ‘Come on dumbass, I’m telling you you’ll do fine! You’ve been pining after her for almost a year now; just go do it!’

“This all happened last year in February, during the last part of my second year in high school. Anyway, Iwanako showed up, out there in the snow near a tree Mai picked out. After some awkward conversation, I finally asked her to date me. Turns out she’d been admiring me too. That was what led me to get my heart checked; I had felt a little bit of pain and shortness of breath. I didn’t really know Iwanako all that much aside from what clubs she was in at school, but we both put a lot of effort into the relationship. I helped her to study math and science so she could make it to university. She’s smart, but numbers and stuff just confuse her.

“It took time, but we gradually found joy in things the other liked. There was a convention near where we lived and she made sure we went together. It was all about science and what the future held, stuff she couldn’t understand, but she didn’t complain or show disinterest the whole day. I think that’s when I really fell in love with her; it didn’t matter what it was, she’d find a way we could both enjoy it.”

Tears start rolling down my face. “I haven’t told anyone this, not even Mai, but I think that confession saved my life… My doctor was surprised I went as long as I did without having any heart episodes, but it was just a matter of time. If Iwanako hadn’t been adamant that I get a check-up the next day, I’m not sure what would have happened to me. I could have been at an amusement park and just keeled over on a ride, or gotten really angry one day and had a heart attack. I’m really lucky that never happened; I don’t think I would have come out the other side the same person, if I survived.”

My words aren’t all processing before I say them, but I know they’re true. Suddenly, I feel a weight and warmth on my chest. Looking down, I see Rin giving me a hug, or rather trying to. Without arms, it’s really just a girl lying on me, but the intent is obvious. “… Rin?”

“I’m hugging you.”

“I got that…”

Her face cranes to look me in the eye. “Is this right? Meiko said people need a hug when they’re sad. I’m not really used to this kind of thing. Emi surprised me with one once and I kicked her in the stomach. Now she’s really careful when she does it, and it doesn’t happen often.”

“You’re doing fine, I just… don’t really know what to do.”

She turns her head and presses her cheek into my chest. “It’d be less weird to hug back.” Hesitantly, I wrap my arms around her. I’m sure she can hear my off-beat heart though she doesn’t say anything. Slowly, the tears stop flowing.

After a minute, she shuffles out of my arms and sits up. “You got more to say? I’ll still listen.”

Taking a moment to think about it, I slowly shake my head. “No, I think I got off my chest what I needed.”

Rin looks concerned. “Was I that heavy?” She begins to check herself up and down, poking some places with her foot.

“No, I said what I needed to say, thank you for the hug.” I give her a smile to put her at ease. “You know, despite her being the reason I discovered my heart condition, and me confessing, she was the last person I told… I always thought of her as irreplaceable; she helped me through a lot, but I think talking to you has helped me more than anything she ever did. Looking back, maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”

“For someone who’s done talking, you talk a lot.” The bits of arm she has lift her sleeves a little. “I can hug more if you need it. I’m not any good at it, but you seem to think it helped.”

I chuckled lightly at the display in front of me. “I’m fine Rin, but thank you.” She lets her arms down with a small nod. I check my watch; it’s telling me what I already know. “You should get home Rin, sleeping in the park isn’t healthy anyway…” A question I should have asked earlier comes to mind. “Why were you at a worry tree?”

Rin’s gaze goes distant before her eyelids droop again and she shrugs. “Dunno, but the tree helped.” She stands up, looking down at me. “I’d offer a hand, but…” Her sleeves move a little, a grin coming across her face.

I’m tempted to grab her sleeve and attempt to use it to stand, but deem the risk of Rin getting a concussion much too high. Standing, I give her a hurt look. “Are your feet not good enough for me?”

This gets her to think deeply about it for a moment, looking between her feet and me. “You’re perceptive. I don’t think I could do that though. Balance would be a nightmare.” Giving a nod, she looks towards her home. “Should we go separately? I don’t know how things work from here.”

I stare at her intently before answering. “Yes? But I was going to go to my apartment…”

Tilting her head to one side, she seems conflicted. “Would you go somewhere else? Meiko or Nurse wouldn’t approve of me bringing a boy home.”

Without a hint of innuendo or smile, I have no idea if she means anything by what she’s saying. “Good night Rin.” With a wave, I leave the auburn haired girl standing next to the worry tree. As I’m walking away, I hear Rin’s footsteps draw closer. Looking back, a look of concentration is on her face. “Something you forget to say Rin?”

She bites her lip, studying the ground for a bit before speaking up. “I could be seeing stuff not there, but I think you are better than you think. I saw your face before, it’s been sticking around for a while, but that face is gone now. I think you are feeling what I feel when I finish a painting, and your friend, the fiery one, seems closer to you than me. A lot closer. Maybe closer than me and Emi. You should tell her what you told me; I think she would like that. That’s what I think.” She looks apprehensive, maybe worried I’ll take what she said the wrong way.

I’m taken aback for a second piecing together what she said, which doesn’t help calm her down, but eventually a kind, grateful grin settles on my face. “Thank you Rin, I’ll tell her.”

She releases a sigh, her face going back to neutral. “See you later Hisao.” She turns on her heels and starts walking off, whatever held her here resolved.

“Yeah, see ya Rin.”

-----

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So... Hi! You're probably wondering why I've gone against everything I said in my previous post and decided to pick this back up, right? Sadly, there isn't some grandiose story about finding my muse or anything dramatic, I just happen to come back a few days ago to post a story I'd left sitting in my Google Doc and got to thinking about this story.

I'm not perfectly happy with this story, ideally I'd rewrite it from scratch but that is never going to happen and I've come to accept that. With that in mind, I actually have another few chapters written and can feel my creative juices bubbling so I'm gonna try and continue this. No promises it'll last but I'm here now at least.
Last edited by NelNinja on Mon Jun 14, 2021 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
Character Impressions:
Misha>Emi=Hanako=Lilly=Shizune=Rin
I wrote things!
The Sound of Silence - Shizune one-shot
Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate - Hisao sans heart attack (Uncancelled)
PB and Bananas (Post Rin good ending one-shot)
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NelNinja
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Re: (Updated 7/28/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

Post by NelNinja »

Chapter 10

---Mai---

My hand fiddles with a pen nervously; I’ve been spending the last few nights with Iwanako to help her out of this funk, or at least start the process. She finally told Hisao about her doubts and everything she told me the night after the break up. I can tell Hisao is fighting depression, but he’ll get there in time. Besides, he’s got Emi and Rin, not to mention this Misha he’s told me about. Iwanako, however, only seems to have me and can’t seem to forgive herself.

Unfortunately, I’m stuck here at work restocking so there’s only so much brain power I can devote to the task at hand. Once the restocking is done, I have to go over some applications for a new front clerk to cover the midday shift; our current one is dealing with family health issues and moved to the late night shift. This means I’m picking up the slack. I’m the manager so it isn’t a surprise or really a bother, but it still means even more work for me.

Finally finishing with the shelves, I let my assistant manager know I’m going to the office.
As I’m sitting at the small desk, my phone notifies me I have a text. Flipping it open, it’s evidently from Hisao.

<Hey Mai, want to go out Friday night?>



Right as I’m going scarlet, I receive another text.

<Misha, the waitress I told you about, invited me to a cafe nearby and said to invite someone. Thought it was about time to introduce you to her.>

Letting out a relieved sigh, I take a moment to collect myself. Of course that’s what it is Mai, he isn’t thinking about anything like that right now. I have been curious about this mysterious waitress that invited him out the other week. He and Iwanako had mentioned her before, this cute, pink-haired ball of happiness at this place they frequented, but this’ll be the first time I’m meeting her.

<I should be able to get some time off that night to make it to something like that. What time?>

Just as I’m about to start reviewing applications, my phone buzzes.

<Not sure yet, Misha said she’d text me later with the details. I’ll let you know as soon as I know.>

Acknowledging I got the message, I let Iwanako know she can text or call if she needs something but that I’ll be busy tonight with work. She may have mentioned something about her parents taking her out, though I want to make sure I’m not being a terrible friend. With that done, I pick up the folder with applications.

-----

Friday couldn’t come quickly enough. In spite of Hisao’s information, ‘Misha’ exceeds all expectations. He eventually texted the information about tonight, but I was needed at my job later than expected. This meant I met them at the cafe instead of going with Hisao from his place.

The first thing I saw was her bubblegum hair. She has to dye it that color, right? My next impression was her laugh, which I heard through the cafe window before the door opened. She’s quite beautiful, but I’m glad I kept telling myself nothing was going on between them; it’s pretty obvious from how she acts around him that she isn’t interested in him as more than a friend.

After a while, I’ve noticed she’s eyeing the waitress more than Hisao - I’ve also caught her staring at me a time or two - so she may be bi or a lesbian, not that I care about her personal preferences. Either way, she isn’t doing any active flirting with him, but boy does she like hitting him when his awkwardness gets the better of him.

“Hisao, it’s rude~ to be thinking of another girl when you have two cute~ ones right here!”

Respect, Misha.

Hisao doesn’t seem to like her teasing as much as I am. “Come on, can’t a guy wallow in peace? It hasn’t even been a week since she told me!” Even though I know he’s going along with it since she’s obviously not being too serious, he’s been looking down most of the evening.

Dropping my usual tough exterior for a second, I put a hand on his shoulder. “Hisao, are you really doing alright tonight? You look like you haven’t slept at all. We’re here for you.” I glance over at Misha before continuing. “She may be a little too obsessed about parfaits-”

“Hey!”

“But I can tell she’s worried as well. I’m glad you introduced me to this puff-ball, but you don’t have to force yourself out tonight.”

With a little of his shell cracking, he returns my stare. “Thank you Mai, but I don’t want to be alone tonight…” His eyes dart from me to Misha. “I don’t have any good ideas of how to spend the evening other than going to my apartment. Do either of you have ideas?”

Nothing comes to my mind, but Misha seems to perk up. “Do you like board games?”

Hisao puts a hand to his chin to think. “Hmm, I have a chess set at my apartment, but nothing for three or more players. If you do though, that sounds interesting.”

“I do! Come on~, they’re back at my place!”

---Hisao---

We walk up to the apartment I dropped Misha off at last week. Climbing the stairs, it seems her door is only a few metres down.

As she opens her door, Misha turns around, takes a triumphant pose and flashes a big smile. “Don’t be too disappointed, okay?” Pushing open her door, the apartment inside is, to my surprise, not covered in pink, stuffed animals. It’s similar to my flat with a living room and kitchen connected with a little space between. Bounding over to a cupboard, she pulls out a few boxes with games. “Which one do you guys want to play?”

Of the four in her hands, the first one I recognize is called Clue. One of the boxes has little army men on it, another has wooden blocks in a tower, and the last one looks like dominoes. Mai immediately zero’s in on Clue, being a game her family played when she was younger. However, this one looks to not be in Japanese. “You have Clue in English? Why?”

For a small moment, Misha looks embarrassed. “Yeah, my mom and dad got it for me when I applied for universities overseas but… I didn’t get accepted. Will that be a problem?” Concern and worry are obvious in her question.

Shaking her head, Mai replies, “Not for me, I’ve always been pretty good at English. Hisao, however…”

I don’t need to look at her to know she has a wide smirk on her face. “Hey, I’m not that bad at English.” I give Misha a reassuring look. “It should be fine, it's mostly pictures anyway.”

Releasing a sigh, she relaxes. “Good, I’ve only played it once or twice but I really~ liked it! It’s one of the few games Shicchan and I both enjoy.” Setting down the boxes, she opens up Clue and excitedly takes out a stack of cards. “I even got a braille version so Lilly can play! She and Hacchan are out right now, but they may be back later.”

Mai looks around the apartment, confused. “Wait, you live with two roomates? It doesn’t seem nearly big enough for three people…”

Confusion occupies Misha’s face for a moment before the light bulb goes off. “Oh! No, they live next door, but Lilly has really~ good hearing so she should realize someone besides just me is here.” Reaching into her purse, she pulls out the pinkest, shiniest phone I’ve ever seen. “I’ll text Hacchan and let her know just in case though. She’s not too good with new people. Sorry Mai…” With a look of apology, a blur of fingers tap her phone keys before it’s slammed shut and returned to the purse. “What do you wanna play first?”

***

“Wow Mai, you’re really good at Clue!”

“I’m really not, but I can see how you’d think that. I played it a lot with my family when I was younger, but it’s been years since then; now it’s just every so often with my younger cousins.” Mai does her best to hide her embarrassment, but it’s still very apparent.

Misha, however, lights up at the mention of Mai’s cousins. “Really? I bet that’s so much fun! My extended family is pretty small, and they’re all older…” She shrinks a bit into the couch. “I love seeing them, but they’re so far away in Hokkaido.”

The silence lasts just long enough to become awkward. I check my watch, noticing it’s quite a bit later than I anticipated. “Hey, Mai and I should probably head out; it’s getting pretty late.” Misha and Mai pop out their phones, Mai nodding once she sees the time.

“Oh! It’s later than I thought. You said you work tomorrow morning Mai? Where is that?”

“Ah, yeah, it’s a small convenience store a couple stations away; I’ll send you a text with where it is.” Misha’s positivity is back to full, her smile wide and brimming with energy.

“If you don’t mind Misha, where’s your restroom?” She points towards a door, and I nod my thanks.

***

Having taken care of my business, I finish up and leave the small restroom. As I step into the main room, Mai and Misha are both sitting on the couch with Mai’s face glowing crimson. “... Everything okay?” Mai locks eyes with me before sputtering something and sprinting out of the apartment.

My brain struggles to comprehend what just happened.



What the hell?

-----

Prev | Next
I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
Character Impressions:
Misha>Emi=Hanako=Lilly=Shizune=Rin
I wrote things!
The Sound of Silence - Shizune one-shot
Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate - Hisao sans heart attack (Uncancelled)
PB and Bananas (Post Rin good ending one-shot)
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