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Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:13 pm
by Arodyrok
Victim: CplCrud
Prompt: Ok, then my prompt would be that the KS girls are now 20 years older. Hisao died 5 years ago whilst remaining friends with all of them. The gather at the 10th anniversary of the graduation. Who are they…?

I'm late with this. No excuse really, just busy. This is only the first part. I wanted to get this out so that I'm not anymore late than I already am. I plan on writing parts for all of the 5 main girls and releasing each part as they are finished. I'll update this thread as necessary. Any feedback is more than welcomed and much appreciated! Merry late Christmas.

So for the prompt I had to take some liberties, I've found it quite difficult to illustrate a friendship with/between 6 different people so instead I'll frame my piece in two parts. The first parts will be a series of prologues. I'll have a little short one-shot type piece for each character before wrapping it up more inline with the prompt. For the overall plot, I have an established timeline. The piece will be jumping around to different points in time in an attempt to illustrate this circle of friends and how Hisao plays a part in it.

Table of Contents.

1. Rin's Story
2.Kenji's Story

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission)

Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:19 pm
by Arodyrok
1.Rin's Story

“Wow Rin, this is really beautiful.”

“It’s a gift… I made it for you.”

As the boy continues to admire the painting in front of him, Rin reflects on the events that led her to this moment. The mixing of blues and blacks, the swirl of dark colors staining the entire canvas save for the single white brush stroke in the middle. She thinks back to how she carefully guided the brush along the canvas so that each stroke is deliberate and meaningful.To everyone else, the piece represents the night sky or the stillness of the ocean but to Rin it represents something entirely different. The piece represents an abyss, a vast nothingness that she used to inhabit alone. It represents solitude, misunderstanding, and a deep pain that she is unable to put into words. Her sweatervest-clad friend may think it is beautiful, but she thinks it’s ugly. The real beauty lies in the single white brushstroke placed in the middle of the canvas. The white represents understanding and communication. It represents her untold desire to be heard and a bridge connecting her to the rest of the world.

Hisao knows this, at least Rin hopes he does. He finishes processing the painting, her thoughts and emotions, before pulling her into a hug. Rin slowly feels the emptiness drain away and can’t help but smile because Hisao knows what she is trying to say to him. A thank you to Hisao for being her white in the dark.

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“We will be arriving shortly Miss Tezuka. Might I suggest we wait in the car until the rain lets up?” I look up to see my pale-faced driver staring back at me through the rear-view mirror. His eyes bore into me as if he is awaiting a response.

I don’t respond though. I don’t need to. This is tradition and I’ve learned long ago that traditions can’t be broken or ignored. Like me, the rain comes to pay its respects. Daigo understands this, or at least I think he does. I know he’s just looking out for me, I catch a cold every year and I’m sure the gallery-worker-people don’t like it when I get sick but this is tradition.

Instead I find myself looking out the window at the field before me. Slabs of stone dot the landscape and the grass, having lost its green color in preparation for the winter months, blends with the grey sky to create a truly depressing sight. It’s like this every year, and yet every year I get this overwhelming sense of sadness. I don’t quite understand why the rain makes me feel like this, but I guess it doesn’t matter.

“We’re here Miss.”

Daigo parks the car, opens the door for me and helps me put on my jacket. He raises an umbrella, but it does little to shield us from the rain. I’ve never understood why we use umbrellas when they don’t really work.

We finally make our way across the vast field of shrines until we spot the one we came for. It seems like it’s in a different spot every year. I don’t think the grounds keepers are moving it, but I wouldn’t really know for sure.

“Hisao Nakai
Devoted Husband, Son, and Friend. May he rest in peace.
1989-2017”


Shizune insisted that “Friend” be put on his headstone. His wife agreed.. It’s been 15 years since Hisao passed and every year we all come to visit him. This year is a bit inconvenient, the Gallery wanted me to be at their open house tonight but you can’t break tradition. Besides, it’s been too long since I’ve been able to spend time with everyone, and Emi said that maintaining relationships is just as important.

“Miss Tezuka, I don’t mean to rush but if we don’t hurry we may be late.”

He’s right, but I can’t leave just yet. “Daigo, I left a gift for Hisao in the car. Can you place it next to those flowers?”

It takes him a couple of minutes but he returns with the rectangular frame and places it down next to the flowers on Hisaos grave. I take a moment to reflect on the piece. Each and every inch of canvas it taken up by a mix of blue or black, a truly ugly piece with no redeeming qualities. I haven’t showed it to anyone, it isn’t like they would know what it means anyways.

No, this is for Hisao. Only he would understand.

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission)

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 6:45 am
by brythain
So we know about Shizune and Rin and his wife (whom we can't identify yet)... how mysterious! Quite atmospheric, but leaves you wanting more. :)

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission)

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:51 am
by Mirage_GSM
I agree, it's really good for its length.
As for criticism, the first part switches wildly between tenses, which is strange since the second part is perfectly okay...

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission)

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:03 pm
by Arodyrok
brythain wrote: Sun Jan 06, 2019 6:45 am So we know about Shizune and Rin and his wife (whom we can't identify yet)... how mysterious! Quite atmospheric, but leaves you wanting more. :)
Thank you! I appreciate it. I don't know if I plan on keeping who he ended up with a secret until the very end or not. I know it will surprise a few people so it will definitely be a twist.

Mirage_GSM wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:51 am I agree, it's really good for its length.
As for criticism, the first part switches wildly between tenses, which is strange since the second part is perfectly okay...
Thank you very much!

I have very limited 3rd person writing experience so I wanted to include that somehow because I thought it was good experience and a great way to narrate past Rin and her thoughts. In my quest to make it good it looks like I may have let the tensing of some sentences slip. Thank you for pointing it out to me.

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission)

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 10:10 pm
by Arodyrok
So it's taking me a bit longer to get out the next part. Hanako's part is finished but I am waiting until I am done with Lilly's part since they go hand in hand. Both Hanako's and Lilly's part will be bigger than Rin's part.

In the mean time, I did hammer out a part for Kenji. It's a short little piece so I hope you all enjoy it. As always, any feedback is helpful. I take it all to heart.

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 10:14 pm
by Arodyrok
2.Kenji's Story

I take another swig out of my flask and look in the mirror. Why must we always wear black at these kind of events, isn’t this shit depressing enough without all these dark colors? I undo my tie and collapse in the nearby chair. I’m not one to wallow in grief but I can’t help it. I just lost my best friend.

Hisao was a brave man. He was fearless even in the face of adversity. He was very strong but it was that damn heart of his. It finally betrayed him. What kind of god would give a strong man a weak heart? What kind of shakespearean, twist-of-fate bullshit was this?

It doesn’t feel real, losing him like this. I think back to when we first met, him being depressed and mopey and all kinds of other shit. I knew I had to kick his ass in shape. “A bit of whiskey is good for the soul” my grandpa used to say, my grandpa was the smartest man I have ever met so I knew I had to invite his gloomy ass to one of my picnics. I didn’t know it back then, but that day on the rooftop when he almost fell and broke his neck was the start of a great and marvelous friendship. I didn’t know back then that I would find a brother in Hisao. It doesn’t matter now though because he’s left. My brother is gone and he is never coming back.

My soul is in definite need of healing so I take another long swig of my flask. Macallen, 12 years old. Hisaos favorite. That man sure did know his Scotch. I pour the rest of the flask out onto the carpet and toss the empty container across the room. Yuuko opens to door probably to see what the commotion was about.

“Kenji… Are you ok?”

“Tell me Yuuko, do I look ok to you?”

She retreats out of the room, closing the door behind her. I curse myself for snapping at her. Yuuko is a good woman. She’s very understanding but I should probably apologize to her later. I stand up and retrieve the discarded tie. I attempt to tie it, failing a few times before getting it right. I stumble my way to the kitchen and grab a fresh bottle of whiskey. I’ll need it if I am give his eulogy. They asked me to prepare a speech since I was his best friend, but what am I supposed to say? What can I say to his family and all of his other friends that will take the hurt away?

I start pouring another glass before my darling Yuuko comes and takes the bottle away.

“Kenji, you’ve had enough. If you still feel like you need to drink, you can do so afterwards.”

“Dammit woman… Can’t you see I am grieving? Can’t you see I am hurting!? I have just lost my brother. Can you please be a bit more patient with me?”

She sighs and shakes her head. She seems… disappointed? Annoyed? She straightens my tie before grabbing her car keys.

“Kenji please… Put on your shoes. We’re going to be late for Hisaos wedding.”

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:39 pm
by PKMNthiefChris
But... I thought Hisao was dead...

Edit: Never mind I see on the original post that the timeline will jump around.

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:55 pm
by sgtpepper
hisao is a true legend, getting married from beyond the gra- oh i get it now

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 3:29 am
by brythain
*Macallan, you barbarian! :D

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 12:07 pm
by Arodyrok
PKMNthiefChris wrote: Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:39 pm But... I thought Hisao was dead...

Edit: Never mind I see on the original post that the timeline will jump around.
sgtpepper wrote: Mon Feb 04, 2019 11:55 pm hisao is a true legend, getting married from beyond the gra- oh i get it now
Yeah, this piece takes place before Hisaos death. The time jump wasn't illustrated properly in Rin's part and I didn't plan on making a part for Kenji at all. A bit of an oversight on my part. I plan on making a short piece with each character detailing an interaction with Hisao or some other short story about them. With that being said once I release the next part, it will be a bit more clear regarding timeskips.
brythain wrote: Tue Feb 05, 2019 3:29 am *Macallan, you barbarian! :D
Got me on that one... I don't really know my Whiskey. If I am being 100% honest I googled "Good Whiskey" and picked out the one I though sounded the best.

Re: Reunions (S9 Submission) (Updated 2/4/19)

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:44 pm
by Oddball
Interesting idea, although Rin feels a bit too normal. I understand how people can change over the years, but there doesn't seem to be too much left of the way she used to act to balance it out and make it feel like her.