Analysis of Time Is Dancing
———————————————————
Hello Feurox!
It would appear that I am a year late to this party, but I've finally dipped my heels and toes into the world of feels and woes. I'm not sure I can say much that hasn't already been said by others about this story, but regardless, I'm going to say what I want to.
This was a superb story that I absolutely adore. A brilliant tragedy, a technical marvel, an emotional powerhouse—all wrapped in such a small word count given a story of this scope. I'm honestly struggling to think about where to begin with my thoughts on this story... so I guess that I'll just start from the beginning.
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Right off the bat, this is a great opening line. Instantly, there is a mystery for the reader to chew their fingernails over. On that subject, get used to me using the word "mystery" in this analysis. If there's one thing that Feurox
loves peppering into his stories—the stories that I've read, at least—it's mysteries to keep the reader engaged.
Feurox smartly keeps the amount mysteries in this segment to a minimum. In fact, there's really only
one mystery for us to worry about: the subject that Suzu "doesn't want to talk about." This means that the reader can ease into the story without being overwhelmed with too many questions to juggle.
——————————
We spend the rest of this first segment building tension—an awkward family dinner will
always do the trick to build tension—and learning small clues leading up to the big reveal:
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
“I miss him.” They both look at me, surprised I’ve even said anything after so long. The room suddenly feels so cold, and everything is so, so blurry.
“I miss him, so, so much.”
Bam. Our first mystery has been solved, and in its place, a whole slew of other mysteries are introduced. Who is "him?" Where did "he" go? Did "he" die?
That last question is what immediately caught my attention. Conventional storytelling trends in addition to the depressed way Suzu was acting in the first segment made me suspect that "he" died, and that this story would be about Suzu grieving over the death of this individual that she held dear to her.
With this theory in mind, it was clear that Feurox
didn't want the separation of our two lovers to be a mystery. With the way he set it up, the eventual splitting of Suzu and Lou was inevitable to the reader. Essentially, Feurox reframed the dramatic question of the story from "
what happened?" to "
how it happened?
I've seen some other commenters argue that reframing the dramatic question like this robs the inevitable tragedy of some of its punch (because we know right from the beginning what the outcome of the relationship is going to be), and while this is a fair argument, I think that what we may lose in punch is
more than supplemented with the added
tension that comes with framing a story around a "how?" instead of a "what?"
For example, the waltzing scene at the river was magical, but in the back of my mind there was
always that tension of knowing that the magic wouldn't last for our two lovers... When Suzu and Lou ran through the city, danced on stage at the restaurant, and Lou gave Suzu the lovely poem for her birthday, there was
always a tension in the back of my mind knowing that that would be the last birthday they would spend together... This
twinge of tension is felt throughout the entire story, and I think that it was smart of Feurox to frame a tragedy like he did. This kind of structure was used to great effect in a movie like "Titanic," or a movie like "The Social Network," the latter of which being among my favorite films.
——————————
As we move along in the story, all the while jumping—or should I say
dancing—between the two time sequences, mysteries or small batches of mysteries are introduced and then solved in a way that is natural and easy to understand for the reader. I would argue that the way that the story hops between times is precisely
why the mystery structure works so well here. Often, each scene mirrors, foreshadows, or in some other way plays into the next scene.
- The first segment (in the future) ends with us being introduced to a "him" that Suzu was separated from. In the second segment (in the past), we immediately learn that "him" was Lou, and we get to learn about why Suzu misses him so much—the two were lovers.
- The second segment (in the past) ends with Suzu and Lou dancing illuminated by millions of fireflies—completely basked in light. Then, the third segment (in the future) begins and Suzu waking up in her bed, completely shrouded in darkness. To seal the deal, the fireflies that Suzu keeps in a mason jar in her room are not active and not producing any light—the light of the relationship between Suzu and Lou is figurative and literally gone...
- The third segment (in the future) ends with the fireflies awakening once more—showing that Suzu still has a flicker of hope for her relationship with Lou to return to its former glory. Then, the forth segment (in the past) abruptly begins with Suzu and Lou running through the lights of the city on their way to the dinner date—this is the former glory that Suzu wants to rekindle.
- Jumping ahead further, when Suzu eventually returns to the Yamaku in the future, she sees Lou waiting for her. We think to ourselves, "wait, Lou did survive his second stay in the hospital?" And to further make us confused as to whether or not Suzu is just seeing a vision of Lou, she comments that she merely sees the "ghost of Lou" waiting for her at the Yamaku gates. Then, we jump back to the past where Lou makes his return to Yamaku after being the hospital, confirming once and for all that he is alive. And, mirroring the last segment, Suzu is now the one waiting for Lou to return to Yamaku.
- Another example comes in the future when Lou and Suzu see Miki while on their way to the dorms—Miki timidly looks at them before quickly getting out of their way. Just like that, we're given a new mystery: what happened between Miki, Suzu and Lou? Directly after that, we jump back to the past and find out precisely what happened. We see their fight.
- Not long after, we see Takumi ignoring Suzu and Lou as they pass through the male dorms. Yet again, we're given a mystery: what happened between Takumi, Suzu, and Lou? Once more, we are immediately brought back to the past to see the fight between them which shook their relationship.
I could go on and on with pointing out and explaining each of these mysteries and the clever ways that they are presented, but I think you get the point. There are
so many mysteries here, and by having the story jump between the future and the past, the mysteries can be revealed at a steady pace and not risk spoiling the answers too quickly.
Eventually, when all the mysteries have been revealed to us, the two timelines meet up and the story progresses linearly from there. This is a great compromise between the two styles of writing. After we
know all of the answers to the puzzle, we don't
need to hop back and forth between future and past anymore. Instead, Feurox can focus on tying everything together to deliver a knockout ending in the future... But I'm gonna save that ending for a little later...
——————————
In the meantime, let's take a step back.
One of the biggest twists of the story is that Lou
isn't actually dead... He merely suffered a second stroke—one that we find out has severely altered his personality... So, it turned out that my initial conjecture was incorrect, and soon enough, the dramatic question of this story changes
again.
As the realization dawns slowly, painfully on the reader that Lou's increasingly toxic behavior
is the "
how?" that separates the two lovers, the dramatic question that gave the story its tension begins to fade. The reader doesn't need to ask "
how?" anymore, so you'd think that the tension in the story goes
down, right?
Wrong. Dead wrong. Feurox knew that he needed to keep up the tension in the story, so he did something rather clever... Right as Lou is returning to Yamaku from the hospital in the past, Mr. Lamperogue pulls Suzu aside and tells her that Lou may not have fully recovered, and that if anything seems wrong or
goes wrong between the two of them, that Suzu should call him to let him know. And with that, the tension is back in full swing...
After the conversation with Mr. Lamperogue, the dramatic question of the story begins to morph from "
how?" to "
when?" More specifically, "
when is Suzu going to make the call to Lou's father." With the change in the dramatic question, there is still tension felt by the reader even after they know the "
how?"
Ever wonder why Feurox decided to have Mr. Lamperogue and Suzu have this discussion at
this particular moment? It's because this scene is when "
how?" starts to fade, so he makes sure that the "
when?" is introduced at
just when that happens to make sure there is no gap in tension.
It's brilliant stuff, y'all...
——————————
Alright, before I talk about the ending of this story and give my final reflection, let's talk about some standout lines and scenes that I took note of while reading!
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
"Then he raises his voice. “Our child requires sustenance immediately; shall we prepare the toad and worm stew for her?” He takes a sidelong glance towards me, to see if I’m laughing, I think. I try to give him a smile, but I don’t know how to anymore.
Very relatable bit. I'm not a father, but I've had exchanges similar to the one above play out with my younger sister. I'd always try and make silly little jokes to make her laugh. Sometimes she'd laugh, but sometimes she'd groan and wonder to herself why she got stuck with such a weird brother like myself.
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
“I’m hungry.” I finally say.
Suzu says this multiple times as a deflection technique. It's quite a childish thing to do—seeing as how
I pulled similar tricks in my youth—which perfectly shows how Suzu is... reverting (for lack of a better term) back to a state of childlike vulnerability and dependence. After all, she
literally returned to her parents' house. Very subtle, Feurox...
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
We waltz in the moonlight,
two lights in a million, a sea of firefly stars around us and above.
You deserve a medal for this line.
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
We twirl away,
two in a million lights beneath a chandelier moon.
Oh,
come on... You're gonna use that phrase
again? That's
too clever, man...
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
It’s a ballroom…
Oh, you clever son of gun...
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
"It’s not very late, but the sun has started to set and the amber evening makes everything look like we’re driving into heaven
or something."
I know this is a small detail, not terribly important to the rest of the story, but I like how you put the "or something" at the end of this sentence. It reminded me of NuclearStudent talking about how adding "or something" to the end of a sentence makes the character seem less sure of themselves or less caring of what they're saying. This perfectly describes Suzu in this situation.
That's right, Nuke. I take your wisdom into consideration when writing these analyses. I think that you're a pretty clever fellow.
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
I had a cataplexy attack a few days ago. As always, Lou was there. He stayed with me until things calmed down.
This is a nice line
particularly because of where it was placed in the story—after Lou had his second stroke. It goes to show that even after how toxic their relationship has gotten, a bit of the old Lou is still in there, giving Suzu that little bit of hope that she's desperately clinging to.
——————————
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
Sometimes he’d carry me to class, or to the nurse’s office. Now, with how distant he feels, and how on edge he seems, I just want to carry him in return, but I guess I’m not that strong.
Great line. Not much more to say about it. It's just great.
——————————
Alright. Now that we've finished running through my favorite lines, let's run through some
symbolism!
——————————
Symbolism: Light
- In the first segment, Suzu calls lightbulbs an "artificial daylight."
- In the second segment, Suzu and Lou become "lights" as they dance.
- In the third segment, Suzu can't sleep, and wonders where all the stars went. The "stars" being the fireflies that she keeps in a mason jar in her room—they are inactive and not producing any light. To stave off the darkness, she turns on the lights in her room. Suzu feels more comfortable, but remember, the lightbulb is "artificial," so she's not really comfortable, it's an artificial comfort that she's feeling. That's why she came home—to feel comforted—but it's not solving the problem. She's just running away from her problems.
- In the forth segment, Suzu notes the following: "Every corner we round, we head deeper into the heart of the city, the neon lights dancing around us like pulsating fireworks, appearing, then disappearing as we pass them." Once they enter ballroom, they once again become "lights" as they dance.
—————————
Symbolism: Hand Holding
The increasingly strained way that Suzu and Lou hold hands represents the slow decent into toxicity that their relationship goes through. At the beginning, the two hold hands almost all the time—it's a sort of comfort for the two of them. They're in love, and they hold hands as a silent way of expressing that love.
Then, when Suzu visits Lou in the hospital after his second stroke and she tries to comfort him... this happens:
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
He laughs harshly, and
pulls his hand back from me, which startles me a little.
“Nyot oykay.” He finally says, his slur sounding worse than before.
This is the first time we've seen something like this. This is how we know something is wrong. These two usually hold hands all the time, so seeing them
not doing that is off-putting. It only gets worse from here...
Next, when Lou returns to Yamaku, Suzu tries to hold his hand and... this happens:
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
“Y-ywou, as -ash – ashwyell.” He finally responds, but he doesn’t squeeze my hand back, and our fingers slowly fall from each other as we follow the others to Takashi’s room.
Once again, they fail to hold hands... There's a growing disconnect between the two of them. Their old connection is being severed, and we're about to see it replaced with a darker, more painful connection...
When Suzu returns to Yamaku from her parents house, she meets up with Lou, and right then and there... this happens:
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
"I guess Lou has noticed me scanning the treeline around us, and he squeezes my hand, hard."
Now, the two of them are holding hands again, but it's longer a comforting feeling, it's a discomforting feeling. The way that Lou squeezes Suzu's hands is a clear parallel for the increasingly controlling and toxic way that he treats Suzu. In addition, the way that the two are so tightly trying to bridge the gap between them may speak to how desperate both of them have become at trying to hold on to one another—they're forcefully trying to reestablish the connection.
—————————
Symbolism: Dancing
I almost don't even need to explain this myself—dancing is probably the most unambiguously important symbol in this story. It's in the title for crying out loud!
Yeah, I don't really need to explain this in much detail, since I'm sure everyone else figured this all out themselves and I don't want to patronize anyone reading this. What starts out as a magical way for our two lovers to connect and express their love turns into a messy, taboo relic of their past relationship. As much as the two try to fix their dance, it never does get fixed, due large in part to Lou shutting Suzu's dance offers down.
—————————
Alright, we've made it to the ending... Where do I begin...
When I started reading this story, and after I reached the end of the first segment, I was almost certain that this would be a story about learning to cope with the grief of death. The tragedy of losing a loved one—especially at a young age—to death is perhaps the most emotionally charged forms of tragedy in all of literature. Despite its emotional resonance, this type of tragedy can become quite predictable...
Instead, Feurox gives us a twist that Lou has suffered a fate that is perhaps
worse than death. Not only does Suzu go through the
grief of losing the boy she loved, but she goes through the astronomical
guilt of not being able to remain by the side of the new boy who inhabits the body of her previous lover. Of course she would feel guilty breaking up with him—it'd feel like she was abandoning him—but after everything Lou did, everything he put his friends through, everything he put
Suzu through, climaxing in the gut-wrenching scene in Lou's bedroom, I think I was just hoping that she would let go. I didn't want Suzu to suffer any longer—both of them needed a clean slate. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize that something is horribly, horribly wrong.
Fortunately and unfortunately, gratefully and regretfully, Suzu breaks up with Lou. Despite how depressed she feels and how empty her heart will be for many days and weeks to come, she is reminded that she always has her friends to support her. How beautiful...
I was perfectly content for the story to end right there, but this is Feurox we're talking about, we gotta throw in some feels.
It was this line:
Feurox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:54 pm
“Cy – can I,” he sniffles, but reaches his hand out to me. “Cayn, I – I Hayve one la- last, one laysht dance.”
It was this line that did it to me. I teared up—making this story one of two on these forums to do so. The only other story to get such a response out of me being Dewelar's
Developments.
Returning to the light symbolism from before, during this ending while the two are dancing, the lights of the town are coming on behind them. For just a moment, Suzu, Lou, and the reader are tempted into thinking that maybe the light is returning for our two lovers—maybe there is hope.
But it's too late... Suzu steps back from Lou, rejecting his advance. Lou's face is "shrouded in the dark." The light is gone.
It's over.
————————
Reflection:
After reviewing Feurox's other story,
A Chiasmus Through the Night, he reached out to me and recommended
Time is Dancing to me. He called it the work that he was most proud of. I can certainly see why—I
hope he feels proud of this. This is a magnificent story executed with grace and skill. Very few writers can illicit such emotion from their works—much less when its a
one-off that doesn't have three previous acts or twenty-three television episodes to bounce off of.
I realize that much of this analysis was technical rather than emotional, but I can't help myself—this story is too technically rich for someone like me to ignore. It's rare to see a story on these forms with such an effective use of symbolism—it's certainly something that I will be taking note of for the future. In addition, I personally appreciate the "mystery" structure that Feurox included into this story. You could say I'm a real sucker for mysteries, and this story has that in spades.
I don't cry while reading literature very often. The only KS route that I
truly cried for was Lilly's route. The only KS fan-fiction that I've welled up at was
Developments, so when I say that I welled up while reading this story, I hope that it's clear that this story packs emotion, and that Feurox did his job fantastically.
Thank you for writing this, Feurox.
Take care, everyone!