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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:45 pm
by QuietlySomething
Being able to get in other people's heads is a sign of intelligence. Generally people with higher IQs are better at lying, better at making people laugh, better at manipulating others (intentionally that is), and are generally more successful in social situations. Scientifically speaking a genius is more likely to be unusually good at understanding others than unusually bad at it. Obviously trends are just trends and there are exceptions to every rule, but honestly I think that whoever came up with the idea that Rin is an undiscovered genius is projecting and probably insecure about their intelligence. (Absolutely not mocking or disparaging anyone who does have social difficulties. Just making an observation about what I think is a pretty commonly-held belief on the internet.)

I think I can sort of see the origins of the idea... like, Rin is unusually talented at painting, at least compared to her peers at Yamaku according to the VN, and her social difficulties can give off a vibe like she is on the autism spectrum, possibly that she has Asperger syndrome or something similar (which I think is probably at least a more credible theory). A lot of people have that image in their head of the idiot savant, a la Rain Man. And then there's "Einstein syndrome". So that could be where the theory originates from. But I think it's missing the point, at least, to be a little diplomatic.

IIRC there's even a line in the VN where Hisao basically flat out rejects the idea, something like "she's not some artistic savant, she's just a girl I can't figure out".

Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2018 11:33 pm
by psyxypher
Well, since I'm nearly 2 days late and Chapter 5 hasn't been posted, I may as well give an explanation.

Chapter 5 is written. It took a while to write. Currently waiting for my beta readers to read it over (one is out of town, the other is oddly silent). However, don't take that as me saying I'm blaming them; it's pretty much my fault entirely for not getting the chapter written until just Friday (my self imposed deadline).

So, the chapter will hopefully be up in a few days.

Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:28 pm
by psyxypher
Okay, so when I wrote this chapter, I decided to make it just a Hanako Chapter. Not sure when the next Rin Chapter will be. Also, we get to meet some of the art club!

Again, sorry this is so late.

Chapter 5: Smooth Painter

~~~~Hanako Ikezawa~~~~

Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. It’s not too hot, not too bright, and the pre-festival anticipation has given the few classes today a relaxed pace.

Lilly gave me an update on the status of the Tea Room. She says our best bet is to turn it into a club after the festival, and asked how I’d feel about that. I told her I didn’t have an answer. I still don’t. Lilly also told me that we’d need at least three members to make an official club. She didn’t waste the opportunity to make a snide remark at Shizune and Misha’s expense.

I didn’t correct her by telling her that the Student Council was exempt from that rule by virtue of being a vital part of the school. I don’t think she’d have appreciated it.

That aside, today is a nice day. Completely takes my mind off the fact that tomorrow I plan to shut myself off from the outside world in a way that would make even Kenji jealous.

Class has ended, and as usual I’m the only person left here save Mutou. I need to fill up the rest of my day. Reading sounds like a good idea. I pick up my bag, and start making my way out.

When I reach the doorway, I bump into something that’s red and smells like green apple shampoo.

“Rin?”

“Hello. Please stop sniffing my hair.”

I take a step back. “H-hi Rin.”

She looks up at me, looking me dead in the eye.

“I need to paint you,” she says, without skipping a beat.

“You What!?”

“I need to paint you. I just said that.” Rin responds.

“Wh-why?!” I frantically ask.

She looks away, before looking back to me. “Is that really important?” she asks. I know that look; she’s trying to dodge the question.

“Y-yes,” I reply.

She closes her eyes, taking a breath. “I have had trouble painting lately. You inspired me. I want to paint you, to try to get my spark back.”

“Will you let me?” she asks. Her expression is one I haven’t seen from her yet. Her forehead is scrunched, and she looks...unsure. I think she knows she’s asking something big of me.

I’m at a loss on how to reply to that. I’m hideous. Yet Rin wants to paint me. She’s practically begging me to let her paint me. I want to decline. But I remember the time I’ve spent with Rin over the week. I should do this for her.

I should do this for my friend.

“O-okay…” I reply.

Rin’s expression immediately changes to a smile. “Come to the art room.” she commands, before turning around and walking in the direction. I take no delay in following her.

~~~~

I follow Rin into the art room. Unlike last time, there are other people in there. The only face I recognize is Takashi Maeda. He’s a bit...scary. There’s two others. A boy from Lilly’s class and a girl I don’t recognize. She has a cane by her side. It’s not like Lilly’s however.

Takashi looks at Rin as she walks in...and then he looks directly to me. “Ikezawa? Why are you here?” he asks sharply. He’s focusing in on me, sort of like how Rin does. Except with him, he narrows his eyes like he’s aiming a crossbow at you.

Luckily, Rin responds for me. “I want to paint her,” she calls from just a little over to the side.

Takashi’s expression changes to one of surprise. Something I don’t think I’ve seen from him before. He’s almost universally grumpy. He’s still staring at me, his face a mixture of intrigue and what I imagine is his own version of Rin’s chameleon stare.

“Did I hear that Rin wants to paint someone?” another voice calls out. It’s the other girl, the one with the cane. She walks over, looking me over the same way Takashi is.

“Yes Enomoto. This is Ikezawa,” Takashi says, taking his eyes off me for a moment to introduce us.

“Call me Saki,” she says, offering a shaky hand. I nervously return the gesture. “H-Hanako.”

“Don’t mind Takashi, he’s just curious. I am too,” she says, giving me her own curious gaze. “Rin’s been in a funk lately. And she’s never tried to paint a person before.”

“Rin’s been having trouble painting?” she certainly didn’t seem that way when she was working on her mural. Maybe she’s going in and out of creative spurts?

Wait. She’s never painted a person before? What makes me so special?

“I should get the tape measure.” Takashi says. I think he and Saki where still talking while I was thinking.

“You’ll scare her!” Saki shoots back. “What is with you and measuring people?”

“The golden ratio, Enomoto! We’ve discussed this!”

Rin calls out from across the room, her head poking out from behind and easel. “Hanako,” she says, without adding anything else. This does little to interrupt the bickering between Takashi and Saki.

I turn my head over. “Y-yes?”

“I need you over here. I can’t paint you if you aren’t.”

“O-oh…” I squeak, before carefully walking over to a stool where over by where Rin is sitting.

“Good,” Rin says. She’s on a stool that allows her to lay on her back while bringing her feet up to the canvas. I briefly wonder if was made for that purpose or had been repurposed for Rin.

“So, what do I do?” I ask.

“Just sit still.” Rin tells me.

Rin starts by making the outline in black paint. Every stroke is calculated. She switches between different brushes, making sure to get the perfect dimensions for each line. Every so often, she looks back at me. With the way her seat is set up, she can simply turn her head to look at me when she needs too.

It isn’t long before she has a full black and white lineart of me. But she doesn’t stop there. She turns to her paints. Unlike before, where Rin was mixing her paints beforehand, she now paints different shades onto the portrait at a time. The result is a very realistic looking skin color.

She goes onto my hair, painting it over with a dark purple shade. Like with my skin, she combines multiple shades to get the perfect color.

After finishing the hair, Rin lies back. “It’s done.” she says.

It almost seems like Rin is in a trance as she paints. I think I got caught up in too, because I’ve just now noticed that it’s about sunset.

“You look like someone ate your sandwich,” Rin says.

“H-huh?”

“Look,” she says, motioning to the painting.

I look at the portrait that Rin has painted. She painted me from a 3/4s perspective, focusing on my left side. The girl I see in the picture is the same girl I see in the mirror every morning. But now, looking at it from this perspective, I see what I hadn’t seen before.

The person in this painting...is sad. Not the type of sad that comes from a bad mood. She’s depressed, miserable.

Is this really me?

“Well Rin, Takashi told me you decided to paint someone.” I hear. It sounds like a man’s voice. I turn over to the source.

There stands a large, well dressed man, with grey hair. He’s wearing a pair of pink glasses. I know he’s the art teacher, but I don’t know his name. He looks at me and extends his hand.

“I’ve never seen Rin paint someone else before.” he starts with. “I’m Mr. Nomiya, the art teacher. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Hanako Ikezawa…” I reply, nervously shaking his hand. It’s large enough to engulf my entire hand in his grip.

“Rin, what inspired you to paint her?” he asks. As he does, he completely averts his attention from me to her.

Rin looks back and forth between him and the picture, before looking to me and back to Nomiya.

“She’s a friend,” Rin replies, after that long silence.

I can feel that light and giddy feeling within me again at the use of the word friend.

“Well, you did a fine job painting her.” Nomiya replies. “Do you think we’ll see more portraits in the future?”

“Perhaps.” she says, before looking to me. She’s giving me not quite a smile, but an expression that’s unmistakably happy.

Nomiya beams. “I’ll be looking forward to it,” he says. He looks back to me, his expression still as bright.

“Hanako, do you know why Tezuka chose to paint you?”

I wait a second to answer. “S-she said I inspired her…” I answer. That is what she told me, at least.

He pauses, looking at me dead serious, before returning to his smile. “Well, I hope you’ll continue to be an inspiration to miss Tezuka in the future.”

“Oh, and Rin, I saw your mural. Excellent. I expected nothing less.”

With that, he decides to look to what the other students have been doing. I turn to Rin, who’s looking between me and the painting of me.

“D-did you get that spark back?” I ask.

She looks at me, tilting her head. “Maybe. Did you like being painted?”

H-huh?

“I...I guess I did.” I say. “It looks...beautiful.”

“I only painted what I saw.” she replies.

I feel myself heat up at that statement. I’ve been called beautiful to my face once. I didn’t expect to get that compliment here, from anyone.

“Th-thank you…” I say. And I truly mean it, from the depths of my heart.

~~~~

It’s some time later now. The sun has set, and Rin and I are making our way back to the dorms. I feel a little bad, just disappearing without telling Lilly. She’s been working so hard to fill out that form so we could use the tea room.

I look over to Rin, who has stopped to look up at the sky. Out here, you can see the stars and moon clearly.

“It’s very pretty.” I say, almost without thinking.

“Yes.” Rin says. “People say the moon is made of cheese, but they never say what kind,” she continues.

“I don’t think they really mean that.” I reply.

“That’s disappointing. If they don’t mean it, why do people say it?” she asks, turning her head to me.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s fun to imagine.” I say back, turning back to face her.

“It is,” Rin answers bluntly. We go back to looking at the sky again.

We watch for a few more minutes before I speak up again. “What I like about the night sky is while the moon changes, the stars don’t. Sort of like people.”

Rin looks at me, a silent moment preceding her next question. “Which one are you? Are you the stars, or the moon?”

“I...don’t know the answer...” I reply, looking downward. I know exactly what she means.

“Maybe you’ll find it in the sky,” Rin says, rather bluntly. “Or maybe at the festival tomorrow.”

That’s right, the festival is tomorrow. “I...I won’t be going to the festival.” I say, breaking eye contact with Rin as I say that. Rin’s eyes and lips curl downward.

“Oh…” she replies. “Alright then.”

I suddenly feel bad. Really bad. Like I got caught about to do something really bad. I give into my baser instincts, and run, retreating to my room.

I don’t even change into my pajamas. I just hit the pillow. As much progress as I’ve made this week coming out of my shell, I don’t think I can go to the festival tomorrow.

“I’m sorry, Rin.”

~~~~

Alright, now to the festival! Thank you to my betas, Aro, Hanacopter, and Deadmissionary (who's sorta back, I'm not really sure, but I'm gonna credit him anyway).

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:34 am
by psyxypher
It just occurred to me that I forgot to link the new Chapter in the Table of Contents. I think that's enough to convince me to never take a vacation again.

Also, it appears that despite the fact I get maybe 3-4 people commenting on a daily basis, I seem to get hundreds of pageviews. That's either a really good thing or really bad thing.

Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 5:28 am
by Mirage_GSM
In the art room I was expecting Hanako to run several times. Both Takashi and Saki were pretty intense for her standards...

And don't mind the page views too much. They don't tell you anything about the actual number of people who read the story. People will be counted every time they open the thread whether there's a new chapter out or just a new comment. And while I do read most stories, for one or two I will just open the thread to mark it read so I'll be counted without reading anything at all.

Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Posted: Sat May 18, 2019 4:05 pm
by Oddball
It feels a bit strange to have Hanako thinking "I'm always on edge" then to follow it up a few lines later with Muto saying that he noticed she was on edge. I think it's a bit too on the nose. One of them needs to use a different phrase.

Mutou also seems a bit stiff here. I know he usually is, but you'd think knowing Hanako the way he does he'd tailor his advice a bit more to her unique personality.
“Besides, this cute girl doesn’t seem like she’s unfriendly. Just weird. Sorta like how you are. The two of you would fit together perfectly!” I told myself. Looks like I’m doing this.
Having Hanako describe Rin as cute and herself as weird both seem to be missing the mark and I have a hard time picture Hanako thinking either way.
Though I'm highly sympathetic to your interpretation of her as someone that wants to socialize but simply struggles with it, as opposed to someone who actually doesn't want to socialize in the first place.
In the game, Hanako and Hisao talk about how Hanako doesn't really want friends. She doesn't really like people.

Shizune and Misha going after the tea room isn't completely out of character, but at the same time it does feel a bit forced. We know in the game it was never an issue and there are plenty of empty classrooms. You probably should have had something there to indicate what in particular set Shizune and Misha off.
A girl my size was not built to lift a paint can this weight.
Not sure why she would think this. Hanako may be slightly thin, but not horribly so and she's actually above average height. Then you have her barely able to handle it. Hisao didn't have any problems and he's about the same size as her and had been bed ridden for months.

It was pushing it when Hanako and Rin didn't know each other, but Emi knows who Hanako is.
“Like meat and cheese.” Rin replies. Her reply leaves me thoroughly confused. It seems Hisao is in the same state I am.

“When you put us both together, we have all of our limbs.”
That ... doesn't really work. It worked in the game because it was comparing things that did have all their limbs. Meat and cheese don't exactly have limbs.

usually.
That’s been a habit I’ve had since I was really young, much to the disdain of my foster parents.
I didn't think Hanako had foster parents.
Sometimes, I like to imagine Emi as a little chibi anime character furiously poking at me while she tries to get my attention.
I have a hard time picturing Rin as an anime watcher, but it's a minor complaint.
I’ve been told that when people need a higher understanding of something, they turn to psychedelic drugs.
Not in Japan.
Completely takes my mind off the fact that tomorrow I plan to shut myself off from the outside world in a way that would make even Kenji jealous.
Out of all the characters that don't know each other so far in the story, this is the one case were I'd most expect Hanako to not have the slightest clue who Kenji was, much less his habits.

The scene with Rin wanting to paint Hanako seemed completely wrong. Hanako doesn't even like people looking at her. Now not only is someone going out of their way to put effort into capturing her likeness but she's made the center of attention by the rest of the club. This seems to me like it would be either a "completely breakdown" moment or a "I'VEGOTTOGODOSOMETHING" moment. Then you trat Hanako being depressed and miserable as though it was something she wasn't aware of.

Hanako really doesn't feel much like Hanako in this story. She seems like a normal girl who's maybe just a little bit shy and sad. That's about the equivalent of writing a Lilly story and saying "she has bad vision."

Rin feels okay when she's talking, but when she's thinking it feels really off. In general Rin doesn't seem to think in words as much as she does in feelings. Even in her own thoughts she's be more likely to describe something as "like that feeling when you don't think it's going to rain but aren't sure then it doesn't and your disappointed," or "like when you dream something that doesn't make sense later but makes sense when you dream it at the time."