Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:32 pm

I've gone through the scripts of Act 4 and the word "foster" does not appear there. The word "parents" appears ten times; neither implies any kind of foster care.
I've had a look at that "source" and what they are talking about is definitely not the beta version of KS.
*removed the rest of the post*
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Silentcook » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:02 pm

Both of you, reread the forum rules and edit your posts accordingly before I have to do it for you.
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psyxypher
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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by psyxypher » Sat Jul 28, 2018 1:26 pm

I’m going to get so much shit for that Chapter Title I just know it. (EDIT: And I forgot to put it that's just fantastic).

Anyway, Rin Chapter. I have a unique perspective on Rin. Tell me what you think.


EDIT: Though I do ask you provide advice on how to improve, because just telling me what's wrong isn't going to help me improve half the time.
I'm not saying don't criticize, (definitely not that), I'm just saying I'm not going to learn if you just tell me what's wrong. I love your criticisms, it means you care.

Chapter 4: Two Kinds of Fruit
~~~~Rin Tezuka~~~~

Sometimes, I like to imagine Emi as a little chibi anime character furiously poking at me while she tries to get my attention. Which is often. Sometimes I’m ignoring her because I think it’s funny how worked up she gets. Other times I’m distracted by something like a fly. Mostly it’s because I’m thinking of something.

I can only think of four things. Right now, I’m thinking of where I put my MP3 player, what songs I want to listen too, being raised by bats, and about Hanako.

Until four days ago, I just called her “Mystery Toilet Girl”, because all I knew about her was that she once went to the bathroom during lunch five times.

I didn’t know she used the tea room. Me going there was coincidence. I had been trying to find something. Myself, to be exact.

Everyone in the art club has a drive. Takashi paints to dispel his frustration, his anger at the world. To get rid of his headaches. He says that his tinnitus is slowly driving him nuts, and that painting helps stop the erosion.

Saki paints to challenge herself. She has a nerve disorder. Art is hard for her. She hasn’t elaborated on what it is, but I know it’s degenerative. I’ve watched her condition slowly get worse over the years I’ve known her.

And Kyosuke. He’s interesting. He’s blind, yet every so often he paints. Every painting he makes is interesting. He usually sculpts. I once asked him why he paints.

“Sometimes I get the urge to paint.” he said.

“Why?” I had replied. I could have elaborated. I didn’t.

“Well, whatever I paint won’t look good,” Kyosuke told me. “That’s a given.”

“But if you tell someone that painting was made by a blind person, that will change the way they look at it. They wonder how I did it, why I did it. It inspires thought, and that’s what I do it.”

“Why do you paint, Rin?”

I gave him an answer. I wasn’t satisfied with it, though. “I paint because my paintings speak,” I tell him.

Does that mean I can’t speak to people like Kyosuke, who can’t see my paintings?

Since that conversation, I’d been trying to figure myself out.

I’ve been told that when people need a higher understanding of something, they turn to psychedelic drugs. Since I have no way of acquiring such, I had to improvise.

I started by trying different things. I started using my MP3 player and hefty headphones more often, started listening to a variety of songs. That gives me something to do while I paint, but it doesn’t give me what I need.

I tried standing on my head. Which is incredibly hard without arms. But I got it to work somehow. That was fun. But it also didn’t help.

It occured to me that maybe I was in this art room too much. Perhaps if I had a change of setting, it’d help.

I tried the field out in the woods. I tried the cafeteria instead of the roof (bad idea, nowhere for me to sit and eat). Then I tried the tea room, and met her.

By some miracle, she didn’t run off. I could tell she was uncomfortable with me being there, but she didn’t ask me to leave. Even her friend Lilly decided to tolerate me for a while.

I didn’t expect to run into her again, but come Wednesday she wanders into the art room, the same way I came into the tea room. Did she seek me out? Probably not.

I asked her one of my innocuous and seemingly random questions, however. Almost out of habit at this point.

“Do you think cloud flavored ice cream would taste fluffy?”

“I guess it would taste like flavorless shaved ice, but really airy.”

I was taken off guard by this. Most people don’t answer those kinds of questions when I ask. But she gave me a perfectly reasonable answer.

She reminded me that I’d been slacking off on my painting. I ask for her help. Painting is easier with hands to mix paints. Specifically, I say:

“I need your arms.”

“What.”

“I need you to lift things. I can’t do it myself. Can you lift?”

Once again, I can never get the point across clearly. But she agrees to help me, despite visibly struggling with the paint can. Emi isn’t around today, and even if she was, she’s too hyper to sit still for long.

Hanako helping me is welcomed. She clearly isn’t put off by my weirdness so much that she’d run.

When we got to painting, we exchanged a few words. I gave her a sandwich metaphor. Sandwich metaphors are easy for me to use and easy for others to understand. To a point. I don’t think she got mine.

I asked her to mix green. I wasn’t sure what kind of green I wanted. I just spouted out what I was thinking. Something that you’d know you saw in a dream.

She responded by saying the color might be aqua-green, referencing her narcoleptic classmate. After that, we spent the rest of the day painting.

I don’t know where I can find myself, but I’m pretty sure the answer lies with her. That’s why I asked Emi to invite her to lunch with Hisao.

I better get back to Emi, she’s getting really annoyed.

~~~~

It’s Friday now.

Friday at Yamaku is weird. We have classes on Saturday, yet Friday still has the same relaxing feel it does at other schools.

I’m still having trouble painting. The art room is always dusty for some reason. Without any warning, I stand up, and walk out the door. Everyone else has left already, so no one’s around to ask where I’m going. Good. I don’t have an answer.

I’ve stumbled out to the front of the school. I’ve been all over the school in my self-discovery attempts, so I may as well try outside it.

The sun is starting to hang low in the sky, casting a glow over the landscape. It’s always a beautiful sight, but nothing compared to sunset.

I start walking downhill. Unlike Emi, I like walking, not running.

I briefly think about going into town and buying something at Aura Mart. I’ve gone there alone a few times; they know me personally, given that I need someone to grab products for me if I go alone. I don’t know what I’d get though.

Darn, even getting lost in thought is getting difficult now. I’m not even sure what to think about.

Through the fog of the thick static that clouds my brain, I hear someone else’s footsteps. I look up, spotting a mass of long and flawless purple hair down the street.

“Fate brings us together a third time, it seems,” I say, quickly realizing I said that out loud.

Hanako practically jumps at the unexpected noise. About a foot. Wow, Emi could learn something from her. She turns around, looking at me. She immediately has her hand over her right eye as she does. She looks at me, almost frightened.

“H-h-hi Rin,” Hanako says, giving a soft smile.

“Hello. We meet again, Hanako,” I say, looking at her. “You’re not stalking me, are you?” I ask, tilting my head.

Hanako waves her arms around alarmedly. “N-n-no, I w-was just g-going to do some shopping,” she replies. “I-I...usually go with Lilly, but she can’t make it. She’s busy.”

“Oh. That’s boring,” I say, smiling. “Mind if I join you?”

Hanako smiles, taking her hand down. “S-sure. I’m fine with that.”

“Good job brain. You managed to get me this far,” I think. “Now keep carrying me along.”

~~~~

Aura Mart is a nice little store. It caters to both this small town and the students at Yamaku, and has pretty much everything you’d need from a little convenience store. Even paints and other art supplies. But I’m not here for that. I didn’t bring any money, anyway.

Hanako moves throughout the store, slowly going down a list of items. I mostly just stood by her side and watched. I can’t really do anything to help her.

We walk by the produce aisle, and then pass by a certain circular fruit. Oranges. My favorite. Obviously, I can’t eat oranges that often because I’m unable to peel them. I love them so much. My desires overcome me, and I suddenly pipe up.

“Can you buy me an orange?” I ask, the bluntness of my question hiding my burning desire.

Hanako turns around. I think she almost forgot I was here. “Wh-wha?”

“I can’t peel oranges,” I reply. “Need to learn how to do that. Without arms.”

“O-oh…” she replies. “Sure.” She picks up an orange. My eyes zoom in on the brilliantly colored fruit, and I’m almost on the verge of drooling. Stay focused, Rin.

The rest of the trip through the store is filled with my barely contained anticipation. At least, I think it’s barely contained.

Hanako nervously hands the cashier the proper notes and accepts her change. She almost robotically leaves the store. As I follow her, I wave my left brachium at the cashier, who happily waves back.

Hanako breathes a sigh of relief as she exits. The setting sun over the forested hills and small town is quite a beautiful sight. One I always look forward to seeing.

“Can I have my orange now?” I ask Hanako, almost without conscious thought. Guess my stomach is in control. If it was though, what would my stomach paint? Probably food.

“Let’s find a place to sit,” she says.

We make a short walk to a nearby park. We sit down, and Hanako grabs the orange from the bag. “Y-you need me to p-peel it, right?”

“Right.”

She stabs her thumbnail into the orange skin, skillfully removing the skin and even the white layer below that. She then divides it into pieces, and hands one to me. Holding it close to my lips so I don’t have to move far.

My face. It heats up as my lips wrap around the orange slice. It’s been forever since I had one. Hanako continues to hand me orange peels, and I continue to eat them.

When we’ve gone through all of them, we stand up.

“Thank you,” I say. The heat in my face isn’t going away. What’s wrong with me?
Hanako smiles. “Y-you’re welcome.” she replies.

As the two of us make the trip back to Yamaku, my head is swimming again. I thought being with Hanako would help me figure out who I was. But I just have more questions now.

At least, I know what to paint now. But that will have to wait for tomorrow.

~~~~
Anyway, the reference in the last chapter was a Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy reference in the first sentence. It was obscure and vague enough that all of my regular readers as of the time this chapter was posted get consolation prize cookies (I'm not usually for those, but I have like three readers and it was a fault on my end).

Thanks to my Beta Readers, Hanako Fancopters and /u/Arodyrok

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Last edited by psyxypher on Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
To give you an idea of what kind of person I am, I'm friendly, talkative, and very good at Cards Against Humanity.

My Rin/Hanako fanfic, Odd Friendship. You'd be doing me a favor if you read it.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:20 pm

Anyway, Rin Chapter. I have a unique perspective on Rin. Tell me what you think.
Sorry to say I don't think it's very Rin-like...
Your "Inner Rin" is completely logical and even perfectly self-aware. The only way you distinguish her thoughts from Hanako's in the other chapters is that Rin uses shorter sentences - which evokes a completely different impression than the one I assume you were aiming for.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by psyxypher » Wed Aug 01, 2018 1:22 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:20 pm
Anyway, Rin Chapter. I have a unique perspective on Rin. Tell me what you think.
Sorry to say I don't think it's very Rin-like...
Your "Inner Rin" is completely logical and even perfectly self-aware. The only way you distinguish her thoughts from Hanako's in the other chapters is that Rin uses shorter sentences - which evokes a completely different impression than the one I assume you were aiming for.
No, that is exactly what I was going for. The idea is that Rin has everything sorted out inside her head but doesn't know how to express that to everyone else.
To give you an idea of what kind of person I am, I'm friendly, talkative, and very good at Cards Against Humanity.

My Rin/Hanako fanfic, Odd Friendship. You'd be doing me a favor if you read it.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:00 pm

So in your mind her problem is some kind of Aphasia...
Well, I guess it's within the realm of the possible... But it would have to be some very strange and selective kind of aphasia...
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by QuietlySomething » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:07 pm

If I can be honest, that just feels like a defiant misunderstanding of the character. It’s the same sort of reaction I have when I see someone writing Hanako as a social butterfly as a way of somehow objecting to the characterization of her as antisocial. It just doesn’t do a very good job of capturing Rin’s voice.

The idea that Rin actually has everything figured out for herself is pretty silly in its own right but that’s sort of its own rabbit hole. The problem Rin has extends beyond just finding the right words to express herself (although Rin’s narration in this chapter does not communicate that very well either). It’s not like she just doesn’t have a good grasp on the Japanese language. She has a difficult way connecting to the way others express their own thoughts and feelings; she perceives and interprets things differently. I don’t think the way this chapter’s narration is handled does a good job of actually capturing a convincing take on this character’s unique perspective of things, eccentric phrasing aside.

I think that came out a little harsher than I anticipated but I admit it irks me a little when I see an author respond to a critique with “no I did it right, you just didn’t get it” :P

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by psyxypher » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:40 pm

QuietlySomething wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:07 pm
If I can be honest, that just feels like a defiant misunderstanding of the character. It’s the same sort of reaction I have when I see someone writing Hanako as a social butterfly as a way of somehow objecting to the characterization of her as antisocial. It just doesn’t do a very good job of capturing Rin’s voice.

The idea that Rin actually has everything figured out for herself is pretty silly in its own right but that’s sort of its own rabbit hole. The problem Rin has extends beyond just finding the right words to express herself (although Rin’s narration in this chapter does not communicate that very well either). It’s not like she just doesn’t have a good grasp on the Japanese language. She has a difficult way connecting to the way others express their own thoughts and feelings; she perceives and interprets things differently. I don’t think the way this chapter’s narration is handled does a good job of actually capturing a convincing take on this character’s unique perspective of things, eccentric phrasing aside.

I think that came out a little harsher than I anticipated but I admit it irks me a little when I see an author respond to a critique with “no I did it right, you just didn’t get it” :P
Nah, it wasn't that harsh.

Also, my reply to Mirage was meant as "It was actually my intent to do it this way", as I believe that Mirage thought I was trying to do the opposite (unless I've totally misunderstood Mirage). Clearly, considering the responses I've gotten, I've done something wrong.

Still, feedback is feedback. I'll take it to heart.
To give you an idea of what kind of person I am, I'm friendly, talkative, and very good at Cards Against Humanity.

My Rin/Hanako fanfic, Odd Friendship. You'd be doing me a favor if you read it.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:05 pm

...that Rin uses shorter sentences - which evokes a completely different impression than the one I assume you were aiming for.
What I meant is that Rin comes across as slightly stupid, since she doesn't seem to be able to form longer sentences in her thoughts... I assumed you were not aiming for dim-witted...

But in fact that's not at all like her. In the VN we see her using incredibly complicated sentences - I should know, I translated most of them.
So this is simply not how aphasia works. With aphasia you can THINK perfectly fine, but your brain cannot adequately convert those thoughts into language.
Your version uses WAY more complicated language talking than thinking...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Hanako Fancopter » Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:39 pm

So in Rin's head everything is very complex and elucidated, but she can't make her mouth translate any of that into language effectively.... so when she talks it's much more abrupt and often comes off as eccentric, if not downright strange. I think that makes sense. That ties into a popular interpretation that Rin is dealing with a genius level intellect and that this contributes in part to her difficulties connecting with people, although it would be pretty ambitious to take the "genius IQ" route in a fanfic, I feel. I personally wouldn't trust myself to portray such an individual's thought process accurately, given that I'm not a genius myself....

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by QuietlySomething » Wed Aug 01, 2018 4:18 pm

The theory that Rin actually just has a genius level IQ sounds to me like something someone came up with to reconcile the fact that they identify with Rin’s social difficulties with the fact that they believe THEMSELVES to be a misunderstood genius.

IE I think it’s kind of silly.
Last edited by QuietlySomething on Thu Aug 02, 2018 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Hanako Fancopter » Wed Aug 01, 2018 11:02 pm

Well, it isn't my theory, I'll just say that it's a rather popular one >.>

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Mirage_GSM » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:39 pm

Not sure where it is popular... This is certainly the first time I heard it on these forums...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Hanako Fancopter » Thu Aug 02, 2018 9:53 pm

It's a popular interpretation on the KS Discord server. That land far, far away from which I come, for better and for worse.

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Re: Odd Friendship: A Hanako and Rin Route

Post by Oddball » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:20 pm

Nothing I saw in the game suggests that Rin is anything other than of average intelligence.

I certainly didn't pick up the idea that she was a genius.
So in Rin's head everything is very complex and elucidated, but she can't make her mouth translate any of that into language effectively.... so when she talks it's much more abrupt and often comes off as eccentric, if not downright strange. I think that makes sense. That ties into a popular interpretation that Rin is dealing with a genius level intellect and that this contributes in part to her difficulties connecting with people, although it would be pretty ambitious to take the "genius IQ" route in a fanfic, I feel. I personally wouldn't trust myself to portray such an individual's thought process accurately, given that I'm not a genius myself....
I don't know anyone gets "genius" out of that.
"She's so smart she doesn't know how to explain the things she's thinking," almost feels like a contradiction.

Abstract thinker? Sure. I'll giver her that. Genius? Not seeing it.
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