Student Council Sessions: Love and War

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Pandas
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Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Pandas » Tue Jun 19, 2018 7:56 pm

I'd just like to preface this story before you jump into it:
This is my very first fanfic of really any sort. I really hope that you guys enjoy it and please do leave any criticisms you may have.

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“Aaaannnndd this student council meeting has begun~!”

Misha, who is the only one standing, organizes the cluttered sheaf of papers into a neat pile against the desk. She sits down, looking over to Shizune who is signing to her in a very slow and concise manner. I shift in my seat from left to right, looking around at the various people in the room. Lilly seems to just be waiting patiently for Misha to speak back up. Hanako is sitting beside her, and she looks absolutely mortified, probably because of all of the people in the room who are sitting so closely to her. Emi seems bored at best, probably uninterested by Shizune’s calling of us to the student council room. Rin doesn’t even look like she knows she’s in the student council room.

Before I can think too much more about the situation, Misha begins to speak up.

“Now, all of you have been brought here for a few reasons. First and…” She says, her flow quickly halted at the sight of Shizune whose look suggests that she’s slightly more than annoyed. They’re lucky to have a communication that only they can understand.

“Oh yeah! Okay okay! First and foremost, the festival has just ended and we hit record numbers in food sales. Never in Yamaku history have we seen such a wonderful outcome.”


Wow. I’m surprised that our work actually made an impact. Something about ‘student-run events’ tends to not fare well, whether it be for lack of quality, or projects never meeting deadlines. I guess that’s why Shizune is so serious about all of the work that the Student Council does. It does seem a little odd she’d invite everyone here for that reason though, especially considering most of the people here aren’t in the student council. I’m not even sure if Emi participated in the festival at all…

“Secondly, we would like to congratulate Hisao for all of his hard work despite having become a student council member less than a week before the festival! We figured we’d bring all of your ‘friends’ here to congratulate you with us!”

The room erupts into clapping, everyone seemingly delightled by the news. I can’t help but blush at the attention being shifted to me, but I meet my blush with a proud smile. The entire room is full of positive reinforcement, aside from Shizune who continues to glare at me occasionally as she prompts Misha for her next big announcement. She looks back and forth from me to Shizune who continues to sign to her, growing faster and faster in her communication.

“BUT~. We do have one tiiinnnnyyyy little issue we do need to discuss before this meeting is over with.”


My heart sinks as Misha and Shizune both stare at me. Whatever this is, it seems to be about me, and Shizune definitely does not look happy. Admittedly, out of everyone, Shizune is the one I’d least like to be in bad graces with. She’s pretty scary for a girl who can’t really vocalize her anger.

“Hisao~. It appears to the student council that you’ve been… rather ‘friendly’ with all of the girls at this meeting.”

Oh boy; what could they possibly be trying to drag me into now?

“I.. really don’t see what th--” I am quickly cut off by Misha, who slams her hand down on the table as Shizune gazes at me with such anger that she could probably light me on fire at this point.

“No interrupting while the Council is in session unless you’ve been given the right to speak!” She seems to have adopted a very angry tone, though Misha can only be taken so seriously. Shizune on the other hand…

“Now!” The drill-haired girl exclaims, returning back to her normal laid-back self. It’s still hard to tell whether it’s her or Shizune talking at certain points. “Many of us have felt as though you, Hisao Nakai, have been throwing us for a loop. Trying to ‘play the game’ if you will. We would like to explain our sides of the story and also hear a te-sti-money from you on why you’ve taken it upon yourself to hurt so many young girls’ hearts!”

“I-I..” I’m left speechless as the tables have turned and everyone glares at me with expressions of curiosity and anger. I mean sure.. They’re all cute but I wasn’t trying by any means to ‘play games’ with all of them. Surely this is a result of some stupid rumor or story spread about me.

“Lilly, why don’t you give Hisao your side of the story.” Misha says, taking her spot back in the chair as Lilly rises up from her own.

“Hisao... it seemed to me as though you were quite the gentleman. I enjoyed my day spent with you in the tea room, and all the help you had given us with the student council work in class. Unfortunately, with every action comes an equal and opposite reaction. I’m fairly certain you of all should know about this theory, yes? Well.. I overheard a student in class only a few days ago that you called Hanako cute? He said that you seemed ‘extremely interested’ in her based on his line of questioning.”

“Well.. I… I mean I did call her cute but.. I didn’t mean it to be any sort of pursuit.”

“So are you saying that although Hanako is cute, you’d never pursue her. Are you saying she isn’t cute enough? Don’t you think that’s awfully shallow of you to say, Hisao Nakai?”

“N-no! I’m not saying she isn’t cute enough to pursue!”

“Aha! So you ARE trying to pursue her!”

“No! I think she’s cute but that doesn’t mean I was trying any funny business!”

“My my, well… You have some gall Hisao. You had better have a very good explanation for the rest of these lovely young ladies.”

Lilly takes her seat. I look around at everyone in the room who still seem as though they had seen a murder, or were about to commit one. Hanako is the only one in the room who doesn’t seem completely angry over the situation. Her face is flushed red as she nervously plays with one of the buttons on her blouse and keeps her free hand over the burn marks on her face. I can’t tell if she’s embarrassed, or nervous. What have I gotten myself into?

Before I can assess the situation too much further, Misha stands back up and signals for Hanako to speak next. The shy girl stands up slowly, and takes a few hesitant seconds before making any form of commitment to actually speaking.

“Hisao.. D-did… did you really call me c-cute?”

“Well.” I pause for a moment, trying to carefully choose an answer that won’t turn this situation from awful, to complete chaos. “I-I guess I did. Yes.”

“Then w-why did you flirt around w-with so many other girls?”

“I wasn’t trying to flirt!” I yell out, realizing only after the fact that my anger over the entire mess was getting the best of me. I let out a small sigh and decide to quit speaking before a faculty member hears the commotion. She winces and covers her face with her hand again, immediately sitting down before turning away towards Lilly. I quickly try to recover the situation but Misha stands up, Shizune signing right beside her.

“MR. NAKAI! I will NOT tolerate any aggression from you, as you are the one who’s created this mess. I suggest you cool down before we take this matter up with the school director!”

There is a moment of silence before she continues on.

“Now.. Emi.. would you like to tell your account of his actions. Has he made any attempt to swoon you?”

She nods confidently and stands up, her chair scooting back a few inches from the sheer force of her movement.
“Hisao, you’ve really got some nerve. I saw you taking more than a quick glance at me when we ran into each other in the hallway. You think that I didn’t see you staring?” She crosses her arms and adopts the look of a pouting dog. “And to think I’ve spent all these days with you training in the morning! You are pretty damn dense Hisao. Eyeing me up and all when you get the chance isn’t the way to get to a girls heart! You’re probably coming up with some excuse huh? Well save it, asshole! Hmph!”

She sits down on the chair with a heavy thump. She keeps her arms crossed and won’t even look in my direction. I sit there, the entire world shattering around me as this situation unfolds. Where has this all even come from? Am I really that obvious with who I find cute? Sometimes I wonder if Kenji is right about that whole feminist agenda bullshit…

Misha rises from her seat and looks over to me. I wonder if she even believes all this nonsense, or if Shizune has just crammed all this into her head. “Emi has spoken her word! Next up is Rin Tezuka! You may tell your side of the story.” She finishes her sentence with a confident nod.

The room stays quiet for a moment as everyone looks over towards Rin who seems to be staring at something below the table. She seems to be looking to and fro at whatever it is beneath the table that she’s worried about. Before everyone grows too uncomfortable, Misha pipes back up.

“Uh… Rin?”

Without hesitation, Rin’s head shoots up with her auburn hair flying in her face which she carelessly shakes out of the way. With all eyes on her, she looks around, blinking a few times before tilting her head and looking at Misha.

“What?”

“Have you been paying attention at all Miss Tezuka?”

“Yes.”

“Then what was said?”

“When?”

“Just now!”

“Emi said Hisao looks at her a lot. One time, she told me that she likes when he does. She says that’s why she stays a few steps ahead of him on the track. Emi is competitive and she said she refuses to lose at any competition, even if that competition is for Hisao.”

Emi immediately looks over to Rin with a look that could melt the entirety of the polar ice caps. “Rin, shut up!”


Misha looks over to me. I shrug to myself and look over to Shizune. She shakes her head for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh and rubbing her temples. The blue-haired girl then looks over and begins signing to Misha, who in return, begins speaking for her.


“Thank you Rin. You have said more than enough.” Rin nods sagely in return, but the pink haired girl continues on without acknowledging her response. “Now Hisao, that finally brings us to Misha an-- er~... Shizune and I. You joined the Student Council with the intentions of helping us. Though we value your efforts, you have tied us up in a mess at the worst possible time. Not to mention you’ve made multiple advancements towards Ms. Hakamachi not only before the festival, but after it as well. She does not appreciate being treated as a toy that you can just use to your amusement before you move on to the next one. She is deeply embarrassed by your actions and is upset she hadn’t seen them sooner. With that being said, it would appear as though not everyone here has been completely honest with the information they had given us before we established this meeting.”

Everyone has grown to be even more uncomfortable than they were before. I let out a long sigh as I realize that this meeting has not only been going on for what has felt like almost two hours at this point, but will probably go on a lot longer now that Shizune has another reason to be angry. Somehow, I almost wish that everyone would have just never spoken to me and I could’ve passed off as the quiet kid that no one pays attention to. I guess it’s too late for that now though.

Shizune signs to Misha in a quick, but enraged gesture. Misha watches her intently, giving a nod and turning to us with a confident look in her eyes.

“Emi… Would you like to explain yourself~?”

“Well… What did you expect? Hisao is cute! Plus how was I supposed to know you guys were after him?” Emi replies in haste, shooting Misha an innocent smile.

“Well, I would say you are well aware now,” Lilly chimes in, her voice stern but still carrying the same soft tone she always has. She shifts in her seat placing her clasped hands onto the table. She always look and acts so proper, even in a situation like this.

“Oh yeah, miss “prim and proper” has a lot to say doesn’t she? Don’t think it wasn’t obvious that you’ve been close to him too! You may have needed him for guidance but is smooshing your boobs against his arm a part of the protocol?”

Lilly’s widens her eyes and gasps in surprise by the accusations Emi threw at her. “My, such big words coming from the girl who happened to conveniently leave out the fact that she’s been putting her body on show for Hisao, don’t you think?”

“There you go! Being all big and mighty. Because you’re so perfect aren’t you? You just can’t do a single thing wrong can you? But oh wait, you aren’t perfect. If you were, you wouldn’t be stuffing your bra to impress Hisao!”

Rin finally seems interested in the conversation at hand and quickly flaps her sleeves up and down. “Is that why her boobs are so much bi--?”

“Rin!”

Lilly, who normally has fairly pale skin, is now filled with a vibrant scarlet tone. She raises her hand dismissively and quickly shoots down Emi’s attacks. “No I do not, and I am most certainly DONE hearing lip from you, Ms. Ibarazaki!”

“G-guys! This f-fighting isn’t s-solving the issue!” Hanako interjects with a look of terror, stopping Emi dead in her tracks.

Snap

“That’s enough! This has become completely unproductive which is the exact thing we try to avoid here in the student council~!” Misha says, presumably reading off whatever it is that Shizune is signing to her.

“Fine, but if we are all interested in Hisao, who gets him? Huh?” Emi says, a more malicious expression suggesting she had no intentions of backing down.

“W-well.. I think i-it’s only fair to let H-Hisao choose.”

Woah. I wasn’t really expecting Hanako to add anything to the conversation. She would hardly look me in the eye when it was just her and I. To add into a conversation, especially such a tense one seemed rather brave of her, but maybe she’s more worried about keeping everyone from fighting. It’s hard to say with her, with what little I really do know about her.

“If that’s what ya’ want. Hisao, who do ya’ choose?” Emi states with confidence, changing her focus over to me. It seems basically everyone in the room has again.

I quickly sit up in my chair, looking at all of them nervously, “Hey now. I haven’t even been at Yamaku for a week, I can’t just… choose one of you right now in a room full of everyone. I didn’t even agree to any of this!”

“Yeah Emi, he doesn’t have to choose right now~.” Misha retorts. It’s pretty obvious who it really came from though considering Shizune has a pretty competitive look in her eyes.

Emi rolls her eyes and lets out a small sigh. She crosses her arms and mumbles quietly but just enough for me to hear, “Kiss ass.”

This elicits a chuckle from me, but I quickly cover my mouth and try to mask the laugh with a yawn. The last thing I need is for anyone to think I’m going to start taking sides. I can see Emi peer over to me out of the corner of my eye. She winks to me and develops a small grin, apparently having seen I could hardly keep my composure over her comment. I can feel Shizune’s eyes burning into the side of my head and I quickly return to attention. This is taking forever.

After all of the time they spent grilling me, it looks like they’ve just turned on each other anyway. Admittedly, I’m not too sure which of the girls I like the most. I think most of my male friends back home would have loved to have a room full of girls fighting over them, but this was a complete mess. I’m not really sure me stepping in to stop them is such a good idea either though; they’d probably just start fighting with me again. Realizing I had been daydreaming, I re-adjust in my seat and become more attentive of the conversation. (?)

“I find it absolutely appalling that this entire meeting has become so barbaric.” Lilly says, her look proving she’s more than just mad by this point, “And you… I expected much more from you.” She turns herself towards Misha, but Misha has been neutral for most of this meeting. She must be talking to Shizune.

“You have no clue what you’re talking about, Lilly~.” Misha says without skipping a beat.

Everyone’s looking at Misha and Shizune. Everyone is fairly distracted in the heat of the moment as tensions rise again. Misha and Shizune were busy signing to one another, and Misha was trying her best to not only take the heat of the debates, but also act as commanding as Shizune would if she were able to do more than just sign. I think i’d be better off leaving while I can. I take a quick look around the room. They’re all busy looking at Misha who’s on the opposite end of the table from me, and Misha and Shizune are definitely too busy signing to one another. This is it.

I get up from my chair as quietly as possible and begin backing out of the room. I feel around behind me for a doorknob, hoping nothing is between me and my destination as I take each careful step. Eventually, I find the doorknob and open it only enough to allow myself out. Quickly slipping through the door, I don’t even take the chance to close it behind me out of fear of making any more noise than I need to. I begin my trek for the exit of the building, praying to who knows what that I make it out before anyone notices.

“Finally..” I murmur to myself, the exit to the outside world being only a few feet down the hall.

That was crazy. All of the student council work has been hectic and impossible to deal with, but then there’s this mess on top of that. I can’t help but wonder to myself how often the student council has meetings like this. Shizune doesn’t really seem the type but after all that chaos I can’t help but wonder if they have gossip on everyone. All I know is that I’m going to try my best to avoid Shizune from now on. She’s too manipulative. Maybe I should try talking to that darker haired track girl...

Now nearing the exit, I sigh in relief. Looks like I made it, I’m home free. I grab onto the handle of the door with hesitation. I wonder if they’ve gone looking for me yet. I think I can actually hear Misha now.

“Hey~! Where did Hicchan go~?”

And with that, I open the door and make my way out into the courtyard, deciding to head back to my dorm and sleep the rest of the day off.

Hanako Fancopter
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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Hanako Fancopter » Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:01 pm

I like it! I think there are not enough fics that focus on the interactions between the girls as opposed to Hisao x whichever one of them. I see how Hanako slips under everyone's radar and isn't considered a threat even though she got the original "cute" comment. She's gonna sneak off with him lol

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calcifer
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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by calcifer » Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:36 pm

pandas wrote:This is my very first fanfic of really any sort.
Congrats on finishing your first fanfic! Most people tend to lose steam a few hundred words in, so you are already ahead of the pack.

Some minor feedback below.
pandas wrote:Emi seems bored at best, probably uninterested by Shizune’s calling of us to the student council room. Rin doesn’t even look like she knows she’s in the student council room.
"uninterested by ... calling of us" seems clunky and "council room" is repeated too much. How about "... seemingly uninterested in the meeting. Rin doesn't even look like she knows where she is"? You don't need to specify us, as the paragraph makes it clear that pretty much everyone is here. Similarly, the meeting room is mentioned in the very first sentence, so it isn't necessary here.
pandas wrote:First and…” She says
she says
pandas wrote:she’s slightly more than annoyed
more than slightly
pandas wrote:They’re lucky to have a communication that only they can understand.
"a communication" isn't a thing. "a method of communication" would be better.
pandas wrote:congratulate Hisao for all of his hard work
I would drop the "of" here, it flows better.
pandas wrote:I can’t help but blush at the attention being shifted to me, but I meet my blush with a proud smile.
This seems clunky, especially with the repeated "blush". Maybe "I can't help but blush at the attention, but I meet it with a proud smile".
pandas wrote:with all of the girls at this meeting
Same with the "of" here.
pandas wrote:hear a te-sti-money
hear te-sti-mony
pandas wrote:Unfortunately, with every action comes an equal and opposite reaction. I’m fairly certain you of all should know about this theory, yes?
This doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the paragraph. How is calling Hanako cute the opposite of having tea with Lilly?
pandas wrote:I overheard a student in class only a few days ago that you called Hanako cute?
Only a few days ago, I overheard a student in class saying that you called Hanako cute?
pandas wrote:you’ve made multiple advancements towards Ms. Hakamachi
advances
pandas wrote:With that being said, it would
You can drop the "with".
pandas wrote:Everyone has grown to be even more uncomfortable than they were before
"Everyone is looking even more uncomfortable than before." There are a lot of tense switches like this.
pandas wrote:Lilly’s widens her eyes and gasps in surprise
"Lilly widens her eyes and gasps" or, even better, "Lilly's eyes widen and she gasps in surprise"
pandas wrote:It’s hard to say with her, with what little I really do know about her.
Bit clunky. "It's hard to say, with what little I know of her" sounds better.
pandas wrote:After all of the time they spent grilling me
Same with the "of" here.
pandas wrote:girls fighting over them, but this was a complete mess.
this is a complete mess
pandas wrote:more attentive of the conversation. (?)
Does this question mark mean something?
pandas wrote:Everyone’s looking at Misha and Shizune. Everyone is fairly distracted in the heat of the moment as tensions rise again.
"Everyone" is repeated and it breaks the flow. Maybe replace it with "We are all fairly distracted ...".
pandas wrote:Misha and Shizune were busy signing to one another, and Misha was trying her best
are/is instead of were/was
pandas wrote:Maybe I should try talking to that darker haired track girl...
That sounds like a great idea, go Hisao :)
pandas wrote:I grab onto the handle of the door with hesitation
"I grab onto the door handle" flows better.

Finally, I love your Rin. Nice work!
Shizune = Rin > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
FluffandCrunch wrote: Every day is a gift, every hour is golden, every minute is a diamond. Life is wonderful, if you have the courage to live it.

Pandas
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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Pandas » Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:35 am

calcifer wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:36 pm
Finally, I love your Rin. Nice work!
Hey, thanks for your feedback! I'm surprised you were able to find so many grammar/sentence structuring issues.. but I suppose it's just more to look out for in the future fics ;D

Also, I'm happy you liked my Rin! She's my favorite character (along with Lilly), and I was actually fairly proud of how I wrote Rin (despite her being a hard to write character IMO)

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calcifer
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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by calcifer » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:02 am

Pandas wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:35 am
Hey, thanks for your feedback! I'm surprised you were able to find so many grammar/sentence structuring issues.. but I suppose it's just more to look out for in the future fics ;D
I've seen much, much worse so for a first time fic I think you are doing ok :)
Pandas wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:35 am
Also, I'm happy you liked my Rin! She's my favorite character (along with Lilly), and I was actually fairly proud of how I wrote Rin (despite her being a hard to write character IMO)
Rin's route is my favourite and yes, she is quite hard to write well. I think you did well with her.
Shizune = Rin > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
FluffandCrunch wrote: Every day is a gift, every hour is golden, every minute is a diamond. Life is wonderful, if you have the courage to live it.

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Oddball
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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Oddball » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:15 pm

Interesting.

I wasn't sure from the tone at first whether this was supposed to be taken seriously nor not. I think it comes off a bit to dry for parody, but too out of character for anything serious.

Also, I'd suggest using the line about the dark haired track girl to the very end. It seems to be the best close for the story.
Not Dead Yet

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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Mirage_GSM » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:13 am

Oddball wrote:
Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:15 pm
I wasn't sure from the tone at first whether this was supposed to be taken seriously nor not. I think it comes off a bit to dry for parody, but too out of character for anything serious.
I wouldn't even have thought to take this serious...
Also, I'd suggest using the line about the dark haired track girl to the very end. It seems to be the best close for the story.
Agree on that.
Finally, I love your Rin. Nice work!
Well, Rin is - apart from Hisao - probably the only one in this story who is even remotely in character :-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Pandas » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:04 am

Oddball wrote:
Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:15 pm
Interesting.

I wasn't sure from the tone at first whether this was supposed to be taken seriously nor not. I think it comes off a bit to dry for parody, but too out of character for anything serious.

Also, I'd suggest using the line about the dark haired track girl to the very end. It seems to be the best close for the story.
DEFINITELY meant to be a parody, whether the humor sticks or not is I guess up to the person. It was a fun little attempt at a concept than anything else. Thanks for the feedback.

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Re: Student Council Sessions: Love and War

Post by Pandas » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:06 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:13 am
Oddball wrote:
Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:15 pm
I wasn't sure from the tone at first whether this was supposed to be taken seriously nor not. I think it comes off a bit to dry for parody, but too out of character for anything serious.
I wouldn't even have thought to take this serious...
Also, I'd suggest using the line about the dark haired track girl to the very end. It seems to be the best close for the story.
Agree on that.
Finally, I love your Rin. Nice work!
Well, Rin is - apart from Hisao - probably the only one in this story who is even remotely in character :-)
^^^ +1 to all of this.

Not meant to be serious and the only reason I kept Rin in character is cause her character is pretty odd enough to fit in. The others were tweaked with the intention to be sillier than normal as this was more just a scenario for concept rather than anything set in stone and serious. Certainly obvious it's my first time writing a fic though.

Thanks for the feedback!

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