Trying Something New [Emi Fic]

[Pomf Pomf]

Author Preamble: Hi, I'm Pomf! I'm an avid poster on /ksg/ (Katawa Shoujo General) over on 4chan's /vg/ board. I played Katawa Shoujo when it first released 6 years ago, and have always felt a special connection with Emi. Recently, I was going through a very very low point in my life, and I replayed this wonderful game, and it's helped me so much. It's also turned me into a full on unabashed waifufag, and I love Emi very much. Trying Something New was a bit of an impulse decision to write because I wanted to contribute to the community, and I really loved this picture I saw of Emi in a yakata ( This fic is just a bunch of comfy scenarios I've fantasized about with Emi for the most part, but eventually, it will be the first installment in a series of fics leading through what I imagine a life with Emi might be like. Trying Something New won the spring contest, much to my surprise, and I'm very proud of it. It was my first creative writing attempt, and I would appreciate any thoughts or criticism you have!

A bit of a warning, the story contains NSFW elements (straight up smut).

I hope you enjoy!



The sound of the alarm beeping rouses my mind to wakefulness but my body doesn’t seem to want to move yet, so I keep my eyes closed.

Emi's hand on my chest starts to move and I open my eyes, the gentle sensation of her fingers caressing my skin filling me with the needed energy to rouse myself. Her fingers trace down past my scar and rest on my stomach. She gently pushes down and props herself up while she uses a hand to push the sleep away from her eyes.

Those big beautiful green eyes.

She smiles as I stare, unashamed of the growing warm feeling in my heart and the touch of butterflies in my stomach.

"Ready?" She asks, as she smiles down at me, and places her hand on my chest, before scrunching up her fingers and gently tickling across my surgical scar.

She does that a lot now. The tickling thing. I think she's just scolding my poor old heart for even thinking about stopping.

I haven't had to really worry about it too much though, I haven't had a flutter in a while now. The last one was shortly after leaving Yamaku on a run. I still push myself a little too hard now and then, but I try to be careful. As I think about all the progress I've made on my runs and in my health, my mind drifts a bit.

Emi scrunches up her face.

"Earth to Hisao, anyone home?"

I think for a moment and decide to feign ignorance.

"Huh? Ready? For what?" I try to look bewildered by the assumption I should know something.

She smiles sweetly.

"You know what, let's go sleepyhead."

She lowers her upper body down onto my chest and wraps her arms tenderly around my waist as she closes her eyes and rests her head softly on my chest, her left ear pressed into me.

She embraces me and I feel her warmth emanating into me. We stay like that for a few precious moments before she starts to slowly lift me out of my comfortable resting position into something more upright.

I decide there isn't much reason to struggle and wrap my arms around her and meet her embrace, her head slowly rising before she pulls upwards into a kiss.

It only lasts a second before she smiles and pulls away, opening her eyes and resting her hands on the bed, maneuvering deftly to the end of the bed in one motion. She leans over and grabs her black sports bra from the bedside table and slips it over her head, pulling it down over her before adjusting it to fit just right.

I restfully rise, place my hands down, and kick my feet over the side of the bed before reaching onto the nightstand, popping a handful of pills into my mouth, and swallowing quickly.

Emi reaches over me and grabs her running shorts from the table. She leans backwards onto the bed and lifts her legs up before pulling them downward snugly into place. I watch her while I reach over the side of the bed and grab her running prosthetics. I lean in front of her and start to quickly strap her legs on.

I started doing this a few months ago for her for our morning runs. Emi doesn't protest, but sometimes she grabs one from me and does it herself if she's feeling antsy.

She must be feeling antsy because she takes the one for her right leg from me and straps it down firmly while I take some time to check her straps with one hand and wrap my other around her firm thigh and squeeze softly.

I let her go before long and she swings off the bed onto her feet while I stand. She grabs a pill from the nightstand and swallows quickly before turning to me.

"Hurry up, let's go sleepyhead! I want to have a bit more time this morning." She prods me while tying her hair quickly into two relatively sloppy twintails.

I nod my head and grab my shirt and shorts from the dresser. I pull them on quickly while making my way towards the door, trying to keep up with Emi, who has already gathered a couple water bottles and hand towels and stands looking back at me.

I quickly slip on my shoes and we make our way outside the apartment onto the porch. She hands me a water bottle and towel as I step out the door.

Emi jumps up and down a few times, swinging her arms in a circular motion, beaming from ear to ear.

"Race ya to the track, Hisao!"

You can hear her smile in her voice.

Of course, it's not much of a race, it never is, but Emi takes off and shoots down the street in the blink of an eye as I try to regain my composure and follow as best I can.

She's half a block ahead of me already, and it's only a couple blocks to campus. I was lucky I was able to get an apartment so close to university.

As Emi is about to round the corner she turns around and starts running backwards.

"C'mon Hisao, you're never gonna catch me like that!"

She's right. Wouldn't hurt to try.

I start pumping my legs and swinging my arms wildly, trying to pick up speed.

Emi does a small pirouette while running to turn forwards and rounds the corner ahead of me.

I stride towards her with as much as I can muster. I reach the corner and turn and -

She's more than half the block ahead of me.

What did I expect?

I make my way down the next block and as I turn, I see Emi round the last corner, after that it's a straight half mile down the road to campus.

So she's a block ahead of me.

Still, I shouldn't give her too much room to brag.

I maintain my hard and fast pace as fatigue starts to twinge ever so slightly in my chest. I make my down the road, eerie in its early morning silence and emptiness.

I turn the corner to greet the long road ahead. I slow a bit as I watch Emi's figure somewhere down the heavily wooded road bounce along and fatigue makes its presence known.

Emi turns a corner somewhere down the road and I make my way down the road, onto campus, and to the track at my own pace.



As I enter the fence I see Emi turned away from me, her torso hugging her legs, and her head stares back at me, upside down, her pigtails lying on the ground.

"What took you so long?" She says, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Huh? Oh? That? I was. Right behind you." I say through a bit of heavy breathing.

This really is a ridiculous pose she's in.

Gravity pulls down on her shirt and shows a lot of her stomach.

She doesn't seem to be breathing heavily at all, but I can see her modest chest rise and fall between her thighs and sweat marks the front of her shirt.

Oh, and there's also-

"Nice butt."

"Perv." She says, smirking. She walks her hands along the ground before standing and turning back to me.

"Ready?" She says as she starts to walk toward the track, still watching me as I rest my hands on the back of my head, taking deep breaths.

Emi bounces a couple times before taking off at a brisk jog, one she knows I can more or less keep up with for a long while.

I'm forced to lower my arms and start rousing my body into running again.

I do the usual motions and I'm right behind Emi in my usual place, and we're making our way around the first curve.

I reflect on how happy my position makes me as I watch her small butt bounce in front of me, her shorts clinging to her muscled thighs. It's pretty easy to keep myself amused for a whole run like this, lost in intimate thoughts involving the tiny runner girl.

We continue on around the track, the first few laps passing before I feel fatigue start to rear its head again.

I press onward lap after lap. We've run a couple miles before I start to breathe heavily and struggle to keep up with the bouncy girl in front of me, still in her unbreaking stride, bouncing down the track at an easy pace.

I start to slow down a bit and Emi turns back before I drop out of earshot.

"I'm gonna get my sprints in, keep running Hisao!"

"Aye. Aye. Captain." I huff as I continue onward at my steady, if slower pace.

Emi shoots off and picks up speed, her blades rhythmically tapping the ground and springing her forward, ever and ever faster.

I watch her run the straightaway as I run the curve.

She's passing me before long and I turn to catch a glimpse of that determined look on her face.

Emi at her Emiest. I don't ever tire of stealing glimpses of her.

She breezes by me and I feel wind from her trail hit me, the smell of her sweat lingering on it.

I finish my laps, stealing my glances when the lithe runner girl bounces by.

I slow to a walk, my heart beating quickly but steadily in my chest, my shirt wet from exertion, and my eyes slightly stinging from the drops of sweat that trickle from my hairline down my brow.

Emi rounds the corner toward me and I watch her do her last sprint down the straightaway, beautiful and graceful as ever.

She slows to a walk when she passes me and allows me to catch up with her.

She rests her hands on the back of her head and intertwines her fingers, pulling up her shirt and exposing her midriff.

Her shirt is a clear shade darker and is covered in sweat, exposing parts of her black sports bra.

Emi breathes heavily, her modest chest rising and falling as she walks assuredly forward at a slow pace, slightly turned to face me and watch as I catch up.

I take my place at her side and we continue to walk the track at a reasonable recovery pace for a lap.

"Hey Hisao, let's head to my house before class, I've got something I wanna do!"

"Oh, sure, sounds good." I say, not thinking of any reason to protest.

I've got some clothes over there and I can just swing by the apartment on the way to school to pick up my schoolbag.

Emi shoots me a mischievous smile but I don't think anything of it. We step off the track and start our stretching routine.





We step off the bus together and make our way down the street towards Emi's house.

I grab for Emi's hand and she accepts without a word, taking my hand in hers, we intertwine fingers and walk together, our arms brushing together as we walk.

The cool morning air gives me a bit of a chill, as our sweat covered bodies continue to lose heat. It's a short walk and we stop in front of the house as Emi fiddles with some keys.

It's still early morning before most have ventured outside, and this street is mostly empty as well, holding a quiet only broken by the sound of the lock click in front of me, and Emi opening the door.

She turns back and gives a sly smile with a slight bow.

"Ladies first!"

I roll my eyes and enter instead of saying something witty. I feel too tired to be witty.

The house holds the same quiet as the streets. Nobody's home.

"Where's your Mom?" I ask, curious.

"Oh, I think she had some work thingy this morning, so she left early. I'm gonna take a shower!" She says, bouncing down the hallway towards the bathroom as I'm left standing, wondering whether I was meant to follow her or not.

Sure enough, I hear a shout from the bathroom in a couple seconds.

"Coming, Hisao?"

Now that's an opportunity I won't pass up.

I walk down the hallway toward the bathroom and place my hand on the door. As it opens I'm greeted by a topless Emi, standing with a hand on her hip, leaning to one side.

"Hisao, I'm not really feeling all that worn out after that run."

She takes a step forwards and I close the door behind me.

"You know I hate not feeling worn out after a run like that."

She takes another step, one away from me now.

"Don't you want to-"

She takes the last step and brings her hand upward, caressing my manhood, and rubbing up and down. I'm already fully erect and my penis is trapped in my waistband.

"Wear me out?"

She says, accentuating the statement by bringing her head upward into a kiss, and pressing her body into mine as she continues rubbing.

She grabs my ass firmly with her hand. I take off my shirt and she kneels down while using both her hands to drag my shorts to sit around my ankles. She takes in the sight of the figure looming above her, her mouth held open, her tongue slightly stuck out she pants a bit.

She presses her face into it from below, and starts to lick my balls while she grabs my penis and starts stroking it, pressed against her cheek.

I rest my head against the door I'm pressed against as she drags her tongue across me and takes me into her mouth. She greedily sucks on it and I place one hand on her hand and run my fingers through her hair, picking up a bit of sweat along the way.

I look at the ceiling and Emi grabs my ass with both of her hands firmly and takes my whole length into her mouth. She pulls off slowly after a few seconds, a few tendrils of saliva still attached to her mouth and me.

"Mmmm you like that?" She moans, and giggles a bit.

I find it difficult to help myself anymore as I reach down and pick her up, placing her on the sink counter before quickly removing her prosthetics.

I lean over her for a kiss and Emi wraps her arms around my head, pulling me in for a deep kiss. I place my hands on the sides of her running shorts, wrapping them around her panties, and slide them off her legs. I wrap my arms around her thighs and pull her toward me. She squeals a bit, lying down on the counter with her butt on the edge I place my head between her thighs.

"Ah, I'm still all sweaty." She says, winking.

I can feel the heat hitting my face this close, and I place my mouth on Emi's small clean-shaven pussy and begin licking the whole thing, up and down. I lap up the mixture of sweat and vaginal juice as Emi moans and wraps her legs all the way around my head.

I eventually settle on her clit, doing some of the physics equations from class with my tongue, this is good study material. Emi squeezes my head with her thighs and runs her hands through my hair.

"Ooooooh Hisao-" She moans out, my head feels like a melon squeezed between her thighs. It doesn't hurt but I can definitely feel a building pressure.

I repeat my equations twice before Emi starts breathing heavily. She starts to pull on my hair and moans loudly. I wait for her to speak before starting to suck on her clit.

"H-Hiaso I thin – Ahhh!" She squeals and throws her head back. She moans heavily and I feel her squeeze my head and pull my hair hard. Hard enough I'm not sure my head is safe as I feel Emi begin to orgasm with my mouth. Her body convulses and her pussy twitches hard under my mouth.

"Anh! Ahhh! Oh god!" She squeals out.

She settles into heavy breathing with the occasional moan. I grab her hips and flip her over onto her stomach, her legs hanging off the counter. I can't help myself. I bury my face into Emi's hot sweaty ass and begin licking again, greedily.

"H-Hisao I-I-I just came be gentle, Asshole!" She laughs and smacks the side of my head with her hand repeatedly. My face covered in Emi's juices I stand and position myself over her, aiming my member between her legs I grab her left hip and guide myself into her slowly.

"O-Oooooooooooooh..." Emi lets out a long, purrlike moan.

I hit my base and bottom out in her. She wraps her legs around me and pulls me toward her, pressing us firmly together.

"Ooooh Hisao you feel so goooooood." She moans out, as she props herself up on her arms.

"Emi, you're so tight." I moan out. I pace my hand on Emi's firm ass and squeeze hard.

A take up a gentle rhythm. Emi lolls her head back and moans, enjoying herself. I take the opportunity and take up her twintails in my hands, pulling slightly on them as I pump into her. Emi moans harder, as I push her hard into the counter, picking up speed. I push into her and pull her closer and closer as we rock like that for a few minutes before I could feel myself nearing my limit.

"E-Emi I think I'm gonna-"

"Grab me Hisao."

I reach down and place my hand around her neck. I grab her and pull her close to my body with my other arm, which I wrap around her stomach.

I come close to climax and begin to moan. I pull out and press myself against her butt. I shoot my hand down to play with her while I cum. I squeeze her close with my hand around her neck.

Emi pants heavily and I climax on her back, my body convulsing against her a bit, she moans and presses up against me, moving up and down.

It feels overwhelming.

Emi turns her head to the side, reaches up and pulls my face close, and we share a deep kiss.

Emi stops panting after a bit and my breathing, while hard, is much more manageable.

"Mmmm we should take a shower now, thanks for that Hisao."

"My pleasure." I say. I wrap my hands around her stomach and hug her weakly from behind.

I let go and walk across the room to turn on the water. I crank the hot water to high and lower it 'til it seems comfortable, but still hot. Emi steps in first looking up at the shower and closing her eyes. She wets her hair and I step in behind her.





Stepping out of the shower, we quickly dry ourselves and move into her room.

I have some clothes in one of her drawers, I grab them and place them on her bed. I pull on my black slacks, and a blue button up long sleeve shirt.

Oh, and one more thing –

I pull on my sick ass sweater vest. I look at myself in Emi's mirror while she gets ready. Man, I look freaking sweet, I love this sweater.

We make our way to the kitchen and I get us some water while Emi uses the fridge. She pulls a couple of boxes from the fridge and hands me one, while I hand her the water.

"I made you lunch, Hisao!" Emi says, smiling, her eyes seeming to sparkle in the morning sun spilling from the window.

"Thanks sweetheart." I say, and I lean over to plant a kiss on her forehead while I take the homemade lunch.

She closes her eyes and smiles sweetly as my lips press firmly against her forehead. I feel some of her soft hair against my lips and the smell of her strawberry shampoo slowly permeates my senses. I pull away after a moment.

"We should get going." I say, and start to worry about the bus hours before realizing Emi is just going to -

"Wait what time is it?! Oh, let's go Hisao!" And she takes off toward the door, as it sinks in that we are, in fact, going to run to the bus stop. In my sweater. Again.





The bus ride home is short, and Emi rests her head on my shoulder during the trip. We get off and I grab my school things quickly from my apartment. We walk down the road toward campus at a brisk walk.

The road has started to fill with the bustle of activity. Busses run up and down the road and couples, groups, and singles alike walk and bike toward university. Emi and I hold hands as we walk, content in our silence for a good while. When we near the school I feel Emi lean into me and shake my arm.

"Hey Hisao, you know Tanabata is tomorrow? There's going to be a festival in town, we should go!"

"Yeah, I guess it is, I hadn't given it much thought. I'd love to go with you though."

"Of course you would," She says, laughing. "I just know some things slip by you. Especially when you're busy."

She has a point I concede, and we start to talk about the details of the festival and where we'll meet, because she'll be getting ready at home. While we're talking Emi spies some people she knows from the track team that happen to share her first class. This is about where we'd part ways anyways, so we stop. Emi leans upward into a kiss.

"Remember, tomorrow evening at the bus stop in town, see you at lunch!"

Emi takes off towards her friends and they exchange some greetings and giggle a bit before they start to walk off toward class. Emi shoots back a look at me and smiles sweetly before disappearing around a corner.

Emi's first class is some type of biology. When we graduated Yamaku, Emi didn't have many plans on what to do next besides "Go to university for something, I guess."

The Nurse suggested physical therapy at some point to her and her mother, and after some convincing, it's what she's going to school now for. The workload is a bit hard on her, and I try to help her where I can. I think it suits her well though, Emi is a helper and I think she'll really find her place helping people get back into "fighting form". That is if she doesn't just end up running in the Olympics or something, which wouldn't surprise me at all, she's amazing.

For my part, I'm going for physics after some prodding from Mutou and the science club activities. I actually really enjoy it for the most part, but it's a lot of memorization. I'm just happy Emi and I are going to the same university, it's made this past year my best yet. I reflect on my contentedness while I make my way down the busy halls to my first class.





I step off the bus on the day of the festival to the bustle of a small town hosting an event. The station is crowded and most of the people are older, but there are plenty of groups of varying ages, and I see some people I know from university bustling about.

The crowded station doesn't help the heat, and I feel some beads of sweat start to form on my brow. I start to step through the crowd, people bustle back and forth, and I slip in and take up a move with the flow of the crowd.

The station is decorated nicely, colorful decorations and streamers are attached to the ceiling, hanging down into the walkway. The crowd bends around them, and I reach out my hand to touch a pink and white streamer, and feel the paper crinkle against my skin as I move with the crowd.

I look for Emi in the station as I move and see her standing near the exit. She's wearing a blue yukata with a white floral pattern. She wears an oversized pink ribbon around her waist and has some flashy ribbon hair ties holding her signature twintails in place. She's standing alone, looking for me.

I start to make my way through the crowd toward her when she spots me and I can see her face light up, and it makes my heart melt a bit. She looks absolutely beautiful and when I get close enough I tell her as much.

"Thanks Hisao! You don't look half bad yourself!" She leans forward a bit and winks at me.

"Come on, let's enjoy Tanabata together!" She excitedly takes my hand and we run out of the station to the main street they set up most of the stalls along. Outside isn't much cooler and I continue to work up a modest sweat, especially with the lithe runner girl now forcing me to move even faster. We stop for a moment and take in the sight of the festival in full swing. Families and couples carry fast food and play festival games at some of the stalls set up down the street. There are multicolored paper streamer decorations strung over the street hanging into the walkway. The sounds of laughter and conversation are punctuated with excited screams and children running after each other.

"Looks busy!" I say, as Emi starts to pull me into motion again.

"Mhm, it's supposed to be a big thing here, there should be plenty to do!" Emi says, eying up some of the stalls in front of us. I can begin to read some of the food offered on the signs in front of a few of the stalls. A spicy udon, a sweet parfait, assorted deep fried goodies. Basically, a bunch of food I really shouldn't be eating.

I shouldn't, but Emi seems to be pulling me directly toward a food stall, one where she's no doubt spotted is selling a lot of sweets.

We reach the front of the stall and Emi gets the attention of the pretty woman behind the counter.

"One of the strawberry cheesecake please! Oh, and a lemon one too!" She excitedly communicates, as she looks hungrily at the pictures and displays.

"I'll take some fried dumplings, please." I say to the woman, and start to go through my wallet before handing over the total.

"My treat!" I say, as I put my arm around Emi and draw her toward me.

"Are you sure? I brought my own money, yaknow." Emi jokingly protests.

"This much is fine, don't worry." I tell her, as the woman relays our order and the workers in the back of the tent start to busy themselves.

They don't take long and before we know it we have our unhealthy foodstuffs in hand, conveniently held in nice paper containers we can walk around with.

I get this nagging voice in my head away from the stall. It might be a special occasion sure, but I haven't heard anything out of Emi about the unhealthy food and I feel like something is out of place as I push the thought to the back of my mind and Emi tears into the dessert like it owes her money.

We start walking down the bustling street and I slowly eat my dumplings. They're pretty good actually, I haven't had anything bad for me in a while and I can practically taste the grease. On second thought it's a bit gross, but I'm still into it, I don't get to eat stuff like this often.

Emi finishes her desserts while I'm only a few dumplings in, the girl can really put it away.

"Mmmm those were so tasty!" Emi savoring the last taste of the whipped cream and strawberry treat.

"Lemme try yours! She says, having already snatched a dumpling, she tosses it in her mouth.

"Mmm ifs rewwy goo!" She sputters out chewing away the whole time.

"You know you really shouldn't talk with your mouth full. Very unladylike." I say jokingly.

This still earns me a jab in the arm.

"Mmmm!" Emi swallows with some effort and points down the street toward some of the game stalls.

"Let's go play some games!" She looks at me and smiles before taking my free hand and beginning to run down the street through the crowd. Weaving our way through groups of people I stammer out some "Excuse me!" And "Pardon us!" while we split up group after group, but nobody seems to mind much, everyone is too absorbed in their conversations and festival food.

Emi brings us to a halt in front of a large tower with a bell at the top. The sign above the bell reads "Test Your Strength!" And various levels of praise and insult affix the tower the highest being "Hercules" and the lowest reading "Simpering Baby".

"Oh, this'll be fun, Hisao, give it a try!" Emi tugs on my arm and obviously expects me to participate first.

"Come ooooon I still have dumplings left!" I try to protest, as Emi takes them from me.

My only bargaining chip, gone.

"Don't be a wimp Hisao," Emi winks "come on, show me how buff you are now, I know you've been in the gym a little!" Emi giggles to herself, knowing full well how little I've actually been in the gym, as if the morning runs weren't enough somehow. How does someone even eat enough to fuel everything the adorable demon expects of me?

"Fine, you win, here goes nothing." I say, mentally surrendering the last of my dumplings.

I saunter up to the middle-aged man running the booth in front of the attraction.

"I'd like a try please." I say as I hand him a bit of money.

"Sure thing, son, good luck." The man says, smiling. He hands me a comically oversized mallet from behind the booth.

The thing has some heft to it, and I swing it back and forth to get a feel for its weight. I walk up to the target in front of the tower and stand in front of it for a moment.

I spread my feet a bit and take a few deep breaths. Is this a good stance? I hope so. I heft the hammer over my head and swing down with all my might, just barely not missing the target. The little indicator jumps about halfway up the tower and I feel a bit of relief, having staved off utter embarrassment I relax my shoulders and take a deep breath. I turn back with a smile on my face, as I did the best I could, and walk back over to the front to hand the hammer to the attendant. He motions to display a couple small prizes I can choose from, and I pick a black beanie baby cat.

I return to Emi, prize in hand, and exchange it for my dumplings.

"Won you something, aren't I great?" I laugh a bit and look down at my dumplings.

Dumpling.

"Well thanks for saving me one at least!" I laugh again, genuinely happy for the one left, as I had thought they were a lot cause.

"Mmm!" Emi swallows. "Thanks, Hisao, that's sweet. Yeah, I'm still a bit hungry, sorry!" She wraps me in a quick hug before pulling away and starting toward the booth.

"I'm gonna show you how it's really done though, watch this!" She says confidently, striding gracefully toward the booth. She quickly hands over her money and takes the mallet from the man. She stops a few steps from the target and props the mallet over her shoulder.

I try not to blink, as I know I'm about to witness greatness.

Emi takes a few steps building up momentum and leverages the mallet over her shoulder, slamming it hard down onto the target while she lets out a loud "Kyaaaah!"

The indicator shoots up and the bell rings true. Emi strikes a surprisingly anime-esque pose before running back to the booth to grab her prize.

Emi points, and the man hands her something from the back wall, but I can't see exactly what she picked.

Emi bounces back to me, her hands held behind her back, obviously hiding something big.

"Here Hisao, I got you something too!" She says, affixing a pair of oversized cat ears to my head.

"Oh, you look SO CUTE!" She starts to giggle as she throws her arms around my head and intertwines her fingers.

"Come on, keep it on, you look SO cute! For me?" She says, punctuating the question with a pouty lip and big puppy dog eyes.

I struggle with the idea of looking a bit silly a lot less than I struggle with the idea of making Emi Ibarazaki pout.

"Fine, fine, you win, I'll wear them." I surrender. It's not too bad, and it seems to be making her happy so I resign myself to my fate.

"Good! I'm gonna go use the bathroom Hisao, I spied one over there. I'll be right back!"

Emi runs off into a building near the tents and I look around for something to entertain myself.

I spy something I might be able to win at – The ball toss. Toss a ball and knock over some bottles, how hard can it be?

I trek across the road and I order a round of balls. I can do this much at least.

I take my 3 balls and start to lob them at the bottles stacked in threes on the platform. My first ball only manages to knock over the top bottle off one. I heave in exasperation. I can't let myself give up, I know I can do this.

4 rounds and more money than I should've spent later, I nail all three stacks and jump up in victory! The day is mine, and I pick a large stuffed bear from the back wall, one I have to heft up with both hands to give to Emi, who came back this round and waits patiently next to the stall.

"How about that?! Look what I got you!" I had over my physical token of my affection and hard work as Emi takes it in her arms and hugs it tight.

"First try too!" I lie.

"Yeah right!" Emi sticks out her tongue, she tends to know when I'm lying.

"Thanks, Hisao. Let's go get some food and find somewhere to sit down, this is a bit big to carry around."

I'll take the excuse for more food, still feeling hungry after losing a few dumplings to Emi. I remember seeing a ramen shop down the road, and so I propose going there.

She accepts and we make our way down the road as the sun sets and the sky turns orange and purple. The lights on the decorations shine orange down onto the road.

We visit the ramen shop and take our food to the park near the pond on the edge of the festival, where the bamboo and wish hanging was taking place. We sit down at a bench and look toward the wishers, writing on little slips of paper and hanging them as we enjoy our ramen.

I hadn't really thought of a wish yet, and now I feel a kind of pressure to think of one as I watch groups of people writing theirs down. I've been pretty content lately, I'm doing better than I was this time last year, at least. I suppose I only really have one thing weighing me down still.

I eat my ramen quietly, and relatively quickly too, as I finish soon after Emi. I notice lingering on the edge of my view a familiar auburn head of hair and point her out to Emi. We get up from our bench and go over to see our old friend.



"Hey Rin."

"Hello." She says, turning toward us, her deep green saucer eyes focusing in our general direction passing over us but looking somewhere else.

"It's good to see you! How's the exhibit going?" Emi asks happily, hoping for some good news.

"It's going." She seems to look through us. She closes her eyes and nods as if to affirm her own statement.

"Good to hear. What brings you here?" I say, she looks a bit out of place, dressed in a button-down shirt and blue jeans.

"Wishes." She says thoughtfully, blinking slowly.

"Makes sense," I say. "We'll join you then."

"Okay." She shrugs, and starts to walk off toward a bench with some paper and pens on it.

We make our way over to the bench and grab some pens and slips of paper to write down our wishes before we go and sit down.

"So, Rin, you must have an important wish to be torn away from that new exhibit work, wanna share?" I jab, playfully, not expecting the sincerity that followed.

Rin turns to me and looks me in the eyes, her vacant stare gone, a truly troubled look spreading across her face.

She closes her eyes.

"I need a brush that can paint dreams." She says, a resignation in her voice.

I keep quiet and wait for her to expand, I can sense a story coming.

"I used to like to sleep. I liked my dreams." She says. She shakes her head and her messy auburn hair sways back and forth.

"Now I only dream the same dream. A dark cloud with no shape, moving through space on dark wings." She says, and I watch an intense fear cross her eyes.

"And it calls to me, it scratches the back of my head and it won't stop." She closes her eyes again, and her face recovers to its normal, placid state.

"I need to paint it for my exhibit." She says, and she looks down and begins writing with the pen held between her toes.

I can't think of anything I could possibly say to that, so I scribble down my wish. I wish for good health. It's a generic wish for some maybe, but it's everything I could hope for otherworldly help with, the only thing that could hinder the life I've built for myself right now.

Emi finishes writing first and jumps to her feet with her wish in hand. Rin and I finish shortly afterward and stand. Rin holds out her wish toward me and I give her a confused look. Rin flaps her short arms and I understand, feeling a bit stupid. I take her wish and we walk as a group over to a small bamboo tree, where I carefully hang our wishes from the delicate branches.

"Goodbye." Rin says, before she turns and starts to walk away. I suppose she was only here for the wishes and it was only expected she'd want to get back to her work.

"It was good to see you Rin! See you at the exhibit!" Emi calls out after her, as Rin continues to walk into the night, eventually disappearing into the crowd of bustling festival goers.



"Did Rin seem... I don't know, more off than usual to you?" I ask Emi.

"Not really, just seemed like Rin to me!" She says, before smiling sweetly.

"Let's take a walk, it looks like the festival is dying down now." She says, and I take her hand.

We walk back toward the main road where the main part of the festival was set up. It's well and truly dark now, and the streets are lit with a dim orange light from paper lanterns. There are only a few groups still milling around, visiting stalls and walking up and down the road, speaking softly amongst themselves.

Emi and I sit down on a bench and watch the people walk by. You can hear the crickets softly chirp somewhere in the distance and Emi rests her head on my shoulder.

"Thanks for today Hisao, I had a really good time." She says softly, hugging my arm to her chest. I feel her warmth spread into me, a calming force, and my entire body relaxes a bit.

"I had a great time too." I say, and I tilt my head to rest on top of hers, the soft scent of strawberries wafting into my senses.

We sit like that for a while, not saying anything. Not needing to.

"You know we have to do an extra couple miles tomorrow to make up for that stuff we had." She says.

"Yeah, I kind of expected that."

And we sit quietly again.



"Say Hisao, what did you wish for?" She asks.

"Can't tell you, or it won't come true." I say.

She pulls away a bit, just enough to look up at me with her beautiful green eyes.

"You know that's a bunch of nonsense." She says, closing her eyes and resting her head on my shoulder again.

"Besides, I won't tell anyone you told me so it'll still come true." She says, giggling a bit and squeezing my arm close.

The logic seems a bit faulty but not wanting to ruin the moment, I think for a minute.

"I wished things could stay like they are right now. For as long as possible." I say slowly, choosing my words as well as I could on short notice.

She looks up at me again. I see a sparkle in her big green eyes and my heart feels warm.

"I love you Hisao."

"I love you too Emi. More than anything."

I place a hand on her cheek and bring her face close, kissing her deeply, and I savor the moment that could never last long enough.



The End



Post Ending Scene (more smut)



Before long, certainly not long enough, Emi pulls away slowly and grabs for my hand. She pulls me up off the bench.

"Follow me!" She smiles lovingly, and I detect mischief in her voice.

I follow dutifully, pulled along by the arm as Emi leads me somewhere quickly.

Emi looks both ways on the road looking for something before running off the side of the road and lifting up some of the tarps from the stalls, ducking quickly under them and pulling me along.

We find ourselves in a small area behind the stalls, between them and the walls of the storefronts.

"Emi! Emi, I don't think we're supposed to be back here!" I exclaim in hushed whispers.

"What are we doing back here anyways?" I ask, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Emi turns back toward me. She reaches up and pulls down one side of her yukata, exposing her left breast. A mischievous smile adorns her face before she whispers -

"Trying something new."

She takes a step forward and reaches out toward the front of my pants. She places a kiss on my chest and slowly starts rubbing as she kisses up my chest and starts to place tender kisses on my neck.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't you think this isn't really a great id-" My hushed protest is stopped as Emi bites down on my neck and presses me against the wall.

I moan, unable to contain everything, as Emi does her best to arouse me, her efforts having long since succeeded.

Emi kisses me deeply, her tongue shooting into my mouth, practically assaulting my throat. Emi's hand fumbles with the front of my pants before finding my zipper and quickly undoing it, the button following suit shortly, and she drags my pants down exposing me to the cooling outside air.

Emi places a series of kisses along my shaft, grabbing it with the other hand and massaging the head with her soft fingers. She starts to lick me slowly, from base to tip, wrapping her tongue around me and making me increasingly more wet. Emi starts stroking my shaft, squeezing, sliding over me increasingly pushing me toward the edge as she goes on.

I start to moan as Emi finally takes me into her mouth slowly, sucking on the tip, I feel myself nearing my limits. Emi notices and pulls off of me, leaving my throbbing with no stimulation. She pushes my chest into the wall gentle and leans forward to whisper seductively in my ear.

"Not yet." I feel the heat of her sultry breath on my ear as my mind struggles to come back from the brink.

Emi pulls up one side of her long skirt, exposing her bare thigh and the straps of her lacy blue panties.

I grab the sides of her panties at the hip and drag them down quickly, standing up and grabbing her butt. I take a firm grip of her butt and lift her; Emi wraps her legs around me and I turn and press her into the wall. Emi hovers inches above my throbbing manhood. Emi leans in to my ear again and whispers.

"Fuck me Hisao." She says quietly, forcefully.

I slowly lower her and my head pokes the warm, wet opening. Emi reaches down and guides me slowly into her as she bites my neck. I continue to lower her fully onto myself to my base and the pleasure almost overwhelms me. Emi lets out an extended sigh and moans as I begin a slow rhythm pushing her into the wall as I reach her deepest places.

"Harder Hisao." Emi commands quietly, her voice raspy and labored, she moans into my ear.

I pick up speed as I press into her, pulling her into my as I grip her firm, tight ass and our juices mix and make lewd, wet slapping sounds.

I can feel myself getting closer and closer, and I slam relentlessly into her as Emi moans "Harder, harder!" Into my ear, stopping periodically to bite on my neck and lick my ear.

"I-I think I'm getting close, Emi" I moan in hushed tones, and feel Emi tighten around me, practically milking me dry, it's enough to drive a man mad. Emi has one last thing to command of me, and she does so with force over her moans.

"Cum inside me Hisao." She breathes into my ear before biting down on it.

Emi's insides squeeze me for all I'm worth as I fill the small girl with my cum. Emi flexes her legs and bounces on me over and over, sending wave after wave of newfound pleasure over me and I feel my mind go fuzzy. I partially collapse against her, leaining into the wall sighing deep, ragged breaths as I can feel Emi's tight insides practically massage the life out of me.

Emi places her legs down onto the ground and pulls up her panties, trapping all of my juices inside of her, a flushed look falling over her face and a lewd smile adorns her face.

"Mmm that was really good." She moans. "Let's go walk around a bit before we go home."



Extremely Lewd End.

[QuietlySomething]

Okay! Well, there wasn't all that much to this story- being mostly just a fluffy slice-of-life fic, but it was very well-written and that is plenty to make it worth reading in my book. I think you have a very good grasp on Emi as a character and the dialogue was very strong (I was also impressed with your depiction of Rin, as small as her part was in the story). So all things considered I think you've done a very good job.

I think the only major problem I have is that the sex scenes feel pretty jarring in contrast to the way the rest of the story is narrated. I think the fact that so little is left to the imagination, and the language is very explicit and direct, makes it feel specifically pornographic in a way that clashes with the rest of the story where the tone is pretty consistent with the original VN. Maybe I'm not phrasing it right, but essentially it makes the sex scene feel out of place, which is a little awkward in turn.

As I said though, for the most part I think that for what it is, it's a very sweet, effective story, and I quite enjoyed it. So thanks for sharing!

Oh- and welcome to the forums!

[Pomf Pomf]

Okay! Well, there wasn't all that much to this story- being mostly just a fluffy slice-of-life fic, but it was very well-written and that is plenty to make it worth reading in my book. I think you have a very good grasp on Emi as a character and the dialogue was very strong (I was also impressed with your depiction of Rin, as small as her part was in the story). So all things considered I think you've done a very good job.

I think the only major problem I have is that the sex scenes feel pretty jarring in contrast to the way the rest of the story is narrated. I think the fact that so little is left to the imagination, and the language is very explicit and direct, makes it feel specifically pornographic in a way that clashes with the rest of the story where the tone is pretty consistent with the original VN. Maybe I'm not phrasing it right, but essentially it makes the sex scene feel out of place, which is a little awkward in turn.

As I said though, for the most part I think that for what it is, it's a very sweet, effective story, and I quite enjoyed it. So thanks for sharing!

Oh- and welcome to the forums!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! It does lack much substance, it's mostly just a collection of comfy fantasies of mine like I said, but I have ideas for conflict in the future installments of my Emilogue, which will hopefully make it feel a bit more emotionally varied. As I don't have much experience writing yet I was particularly worried about writing conflict and things with emotional stakes to them, so I stuck with the SoL happy comfort zone for this one.

As far as the sex scenes are concerned, I agree with you. The scenes aren't for narrative purposes, but are written as pornography. They were a few sexual fantasies I had and wanted to include, but are, as you said, very different from the rest of the tone of the story. I don't feel it takes away from the narrative per say, but I do feel the smut feels out of place tonally. I've decided prior to this actually to keep my future pornographic/smut writings in separate stories from the rest, because although I like writing it, I do feel it shifts tone, and not everyone is comfortable with it/wants to get their dick out in the middle of a fic, especially if it's not exactly what they're looking for.

Thank you for the response though, and thank you for reading, I appreciate it! See you around.

[Craftyatom]

I quite enjoyed this story, and not just for the smut - it wasn't perfect, but it was good. It reminded me a lot of Ascent, which is a compliment, in my opinion.

Anyways, the specifics: your syntax was perfect, which is always a relief, but I had a few problems with word choice. You always used the right words, but there were times when it seemed like you used them in the wrong places. Phrases like "I restfully rise", "I maintain my hard and fast pace", and "just barely not missing the target" are technically correct, but rather heavy-handed to read. That's a bit subjective, and might have more to do with my preferred style, but I figured I'd at least mention it.

Your dialogue started off really well, but got a bit choppy during the Tanabata scenes. It felt like Emi was too eager - I know, that's how her character is, but that shouldn't come at the expense of fluid speech. The quick dash through "there should be plenty to do!", "Mmmm those were so tasty!", and "Let's go play some games!" felt a little overbearing. Breaking up your dialogue a bit more (I rarely complain about anything having too many commas) would help it flow a lot better. No idea if this is common, but part of my proofreading process is reading through conversations to make sure they sound realistic in my head - great dialogue is descriptive and fluid enough that it could be used as the script of a play, interpreted roughly the same way by whichever actor reads it.

Your characterizations were on point, especially the way Emi and Hisao interacted, but your Rin seemed a bit dark. Were this a longer story, I'd expect to see her having trouble, but this is a one-shot about different characters, so it seemed odd for her to be so distressed. Also, I know that Emi doesn't always 'get' Rin, but it felt like she was a bit too dismissive. Surely she'd be at least a little interested in why Rin was so worried? I don't really know for sure, but that's the way it felt, at least to me.

Your smut was enjoyable: the dialogue occasionally suffered the aforementioned problems, but that didn't detract from it much. The one issue I had with it (funnily enough, something that Ascent also suffered from) was the mixture of euphemisms and explicit language. It can certainly be difficult to write with only one or the other, but I think most stories are better served by making a choice and sticking with it - either go hard (and use specific terms) or go home (and use euphemisms). That's just my opinion, though, and I'm pretty sure most people aren't bothered. Oh, and while I'm on petty nitpicks: if you're doing a lot of memorization while learning physics, you're being taught wrong. Physics requires perhaps the least memorization of any science - you need only memorize a handful of equations to completely understand an entire field. /nerd rant

All in all, you wrote a story with good characters, good plot, and good writing, which makes it a good read in my book. I want to emphasize that: I pointed out a few things I didn't like above, but everything else was solid, and reflects well on you. Also, you get bonus points from me for making it so cute and heartwarming, although...

I pull on my sick ass sweater vest. I look at myself in Emi's mirror while she gets ready. Man, I look freaking sweet, I love this sweater.

... I know a few other readers who are going to deduct points for that line ;P

[Mirage_GSM]

I agree that there's nothing much wrong with SpaG, and the overall writing is also not bad...
My main problem with this story is that it doesn't have a story to tell. It's basically:
- generic scene of Hisao and Emi running
- generic smut scene
- generic festival scene
- generic Rin scene
- another generic smut scene

There was nothing I haven't seen done before - better in most cases. In some scenes I found myself skipping over half the lines to get to the interesting stuff (and no, that doesn't mean the H-scenes.)

Also I question the logic of naming the story after what is supposed to be the "Post Ending Scene"...

[Pomf Pomf]

I'm glad you enjoyed it Craftyatom. The Ascent comparison is actually quite ironic, because that's the first fanfiction I read, 6 long years ago.
As for the specifics - I struggled a lot when writing this, sometimes I felt like I was being too descriptive, sometimes I felt like I was being too vague. Generally I had to stop myself from describing every move, and making it too wordy. Overall I'm pretty happy with where it ended up, but I know some of the descriptions seem a bit odd still, and I'm sure some of them are odd due to longer descriptions cut down.
I feel the Tanabata scene proper may have suffered from poor pacing and a bit of rushing on my part, so I agree with you there. I could have lingered more in the festival proper, but got a bit too impatient, I concede.
My Rin WAS a bit dark! The Rin scene was actually a reference to outside media. While writing this fic, I was reading the works of HP Lovecraft, specifically Call of Cthulhu. Including Rin was a nod to that, though I did strive to write it in a way that it was believable and didn't stand out in a big way to those who haven't read it or didn't make the connection. Rin seemed particularly susceptible to influence by the Old Ones due to her connection with dreams, her abstract personality, her isolation, and her problems with communication. Emi is particularly dismissive as people often are in the works of Lovecraft. The scene was just a bit of fun on my part.

Again, I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing your critiques of any work I release in the future, as I really appreciated the in depth criticism.

Mirage_GSM, this does have a story to tell, but the story is just one of closeness and togetherness. I don't mind admitting the story lacks substance in that it's strictly a slice of life. I feel simply pointing to each scene and labeling them as "generic" may be a bit much, but if that's how it reads to some, I feel it does relate to the genre, but it could also relate to my writing, I'm sure. I have no delusions this is particularly special, but it allowed my to feel close to Emi as I was writing, and brainstorming the ideas for it, which was enough for me.
My do have fiction planned continuing from this that will explore more issues within the relationship, though writing conflict does scare me a bit, and I hope my attempts turn out well, maybe you'll enjoy those more.
As for the title, the story idea as a whole originated from the idea of the final sex scene, and so the name was decided very early on. It is part of the story proper, but I separated it for those who aren't into smut/pornographic writings, to make it easier to skip over if you find those things awkward or don't like reading them in general. Overall I don't very much like titles, and don't think they're very important, but that's personal. I'm not sure what I'd name it other than what it is, but I don't feel it matters much to me anyways.
Thank you sincerely for reading though, and for commenting, even if you didn't thoroughly enjoy it, I look forward to impressing you more next time, maybe!

[Pomf Pomf]

I pull on my sick ass sweater vest. I look at myself in Emi's mirror while she gets ready. Man, I look freaking sweet, I love this sweater.

... I know a few other readers who are going to deduct points for that line ;P
[/quote]

Do people who don't love the sweatervest really exist?! It's so endearing.

[Mirage_GSM]

I feel it does relate to the genre, but it could also relate to my writing,...

Well, being a bit too wordy might have exacerbated the impression that nothing is really happening...

It is part of the story proper, but I separated it for those who aren't into smut/pornographic writings, to make it easier to skip over

That argument doesn't really fly, if you include another H-scene in the story proper...

Do people who don't love the sweatervest really exist?! It's so endearing.

That would also be me.
It's not too bad it's just that it's been done to the death. It's as if all the authors who use it think "Now, I'm not sure if that character I wrote is recognizable as Hisao, so I'm just going to throw in some sweatervests to make sure."
In the VN sweatervests are mentioned a grand total of one times, and the person who does is Jigoro, so I simply don't feel the source material justifies portraying Hisao with such a weird fixation on sweatervests...

[Oddball]

I pull on my sick ass sweater vest. I look at myself in Emi's mirror while she gets ready. Man, I look freaking sweet, I love this sweater.

I would horsewhip you if I had a horse.

This is not Hisao. This is Running-Joke Man. Hisao does not talk or think like that and the emphasis on the sweatervest is far overdone and never funny.

I take my 3 balls and start to lob them at the bottles stacked in threes on the platform. My first ball only manages to knock over the top bottle off one. I heave in exasperation. I can't let myself give up, I know I can do this.

4 rounds and more money than I should've spent later, I nail all three stacks and jump up in victory! The day is mine, and I pick a large stuffed bear from the back wall, one I have to heft up with both hands to give to Emi, who came back this round and waits patiently next to the stall.

Always use words for your numbers. Not just sometimes. It reads better.

"Now I only dream the same dream. A dark cloud with no shape, moving through space on dark wings." She says, and I watch an intense fear cross her eyes.

"And it calls to me, it scratches the back of my head and it won't stop." She closes her eyes again, and her face recovers to its normal, placid state.

I know what you said about Lovecraft, but this is a bit too one the nose and really, this is the kind of worrying behavior that I can't see Hisao just walking away from.

As for pacing on the story, your post ending smut scene threw it all off. It really should have been saved for a separate post. What little of a story you had wrapped up well enough without it and it felt just thrown in. Separating it into a different post would have been enough to make it feel less tacked on.

Really, the smut stuff felt off completely. Not just with the rest of the story, but with the work in general. For lack of a better term, it seemed far more vulgar than the way things were written in the game, and completely at odds with the slice of life feel. Taking those out of the equation, the story itself was a nice little piece of fluff. Nothing outstanding was said and no new ground was broken, but it was a decent enough time waster.

[Pomf Pomf]

This is not Hisao. This is Running-Joke Man. Hisao does not talk or think like that and the emphasis on the sweatervest is far overdone and never funny.


Always use words for your numbers. Not just sometimes. It reads better.


I know what you said about Lovecraft, but this is a bit too one the nose and really, this is the kind of worrying behavior that I can't see Hisao just walking away from.

Really, the smut stuff felt off completely. Not just with the rest of the story, but with the work in general. For lack of a better term, it seemed far more vulgar than the way things were written in the game, and completely at odds with the slice of life feel.

Thanks for the criticism, mate, I appreciate it.

The sweater vest thing is a written in joke. I don't mean to be rude here, but it's quite obviously a joke. It's entirely different from the rest of his internal monologue and it's about the only joke I included in the whole thing. I enjoy the sweater vest because it gives a tiny bit of funny character to the otherwise self insert, morbid Hisao. Even Summer's Clover pokes fun at his vest, even if it's done in a bit more serious way. The point is you recognize it's a joke and still think it worth whinging about.
The numbers thing is a good tip I'll keep in mind next time.
In Lovecraft far more reasonable people than Hisao ignore far more alarming things than what Rin said here, he'll, I'd go far enough to say Hisao himself ignores more in Rin's own route.
And I've said enough on the smut I think, it's quite obviously written very differently, and therefore belongs separate, which I'll do next time. I'm not sure what the general reception is to straight up smut on the board honestly, so I was unsure about posting it here in the future when I write it. But again, it is written very different from the game because it is smut. The game doesn't have really have smut in it, this was not meant to emulate the scenes in the game I don't know why you would assume that when it's so obviously radically different. It doesn't belong in the fic which is themed similarly to the game I suppose (though it was never my intention to write similarly to the game but I acknowledge the final result is similar, assuming somebody is attempting to write in the same style as the game is folly unto itself) and so I will keep it separate, as real smut doesn't mesh well with SoL as you said.

I don't really mean to come off as rebuking the criticism, as it's entirely correct for the most part, just wanted to give explanations and explain my thoughts on the banalities of pointing to certain things in certain ways.

I do appreciate the time you took to reply and read though, so thank you. Hopefully I impress you more on my next fic, which will be more of a chance taker (besides the smut I'm writing for /ksg/)

[Mirage_GSM]

Sure it was obviously a joke.
The point Oddball was making was that there are stories where those kinds of jokes just don't fit at all.
You can have a goofball clown run across the street naked in an episode of the Simpsons and nobody would bat an eye, but try the same in Game of Thrones and see how the reactions will be...

[Hanako Fancopter]

I think your writing was pretty good, not great but good enough, I enjoyed it. I will say a few things:

1. It seems like you write one sentence at a time then go on to the next, with each sentence being its own paragraph? And often the sentences have more clauses and conjunctions than they need, like it will be three separate things joined by two "and"'s, then a return to the next paragraph, which consists of the same single sentence with two conjunctions or some such. Not a major issue for casual fan fic IMO, but that could surely be cleaned up, if you wanted to make it read more smoothly.

2. I appreciate a good sweater vest meme! Yes, it was extremely forced and cringe, which is also why I laughed out loud both when I read it and when I saw that other people were criticizing it. Never let your memes be dreams

3. The smut--Personally, I agree that it was quite jarring, and does not really fit the overall tone of either KS or your writing here more generally. But! You have stated that you were basically aiming for textual pron. In which case, I can't really hold it against you, as that is certainly how it reads. Personally, I don't care for textual porn, and consider it out of my field to judge as a result. As far as such things go, it seems good enough, I suppose (again, not the best judge).