April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

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SJFzone
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April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

Post by SJFzone » Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:25 am

Well, a smidge late for April Fools. I made this due to the April Fools prank on r/DDLC where they changed the whole subreddit to be KS themed, and for whatever reason there was a lot of infighting because of it. It made me laugh, so here's a crossover of my own! Bit of a shitpost, but I hope you laugh as much reading it as I did making it!

---


Monika slammed her hands down on her podium. "Alright, everyone. It's been twenty-four hours since the invasion has begun. I think we're ready to make our counterattack. Yuri's finally back with her entire arsenal of knives, sharpened enough that they could cut through bone like butter."

The girls had pushed together all of the desks to make one table in the center of our classroom, and on top of it was spread several dozen knives. Swiss-army knives, switchblades, there was evene one butcher's knife. Each one had its own unique flair, from the blades hollowed out, to the metal itself dyed into various colors, even some being iridescent.

Yuri fidgeted with the end of her shirt sleeve. "Um… Don't get me wrong, I'll do whatever I can to support the club, but… is this really necessary?"
"Of course it's necessary!" Monika replied. "This is our school! They can't just come in here and… do whatever it is they do! Sex it all up, probably. Right, Sayori?"

Sayori walked up behind Monika, her new outfit seeming even more ridiculous next to a school uniform. She was wearing leather jacket over her school uniform, and a big cowboy hat that she had tied her bow on top of. She had on a belt with a huge silver belt buckle that said "VICE-PRESIDENT" on it, with a long rope looped around it and a holster with a Super Soaker held inside of it. The look was really completed by her yellow aviators, and cowboy boots with spurs that jingle jangle every time she took a step. "O' course, Moni. We gotta protec' this place. I'll be helpin' erry step o' the way, with m' trusty Punisher." She patted the rope by her side.

"Right!" Monika smiled. "But please can you stop doing the accent? It's kind of annoying to write for more than a few sentences.

Sayori frowned, "Awww, but it's funny!"

"It's hilarious, Sayori, but really."

"Isn't it kind of… morbid… that you're using that rope as your weapon, Sayori?" Yuri asked.

"How so?"

Monika interrupted before Yuri could answer. "So where's Natsuki? She's supposed to be here by now!"

Just then, Natsuki pushed open the door, carrying a tray of cupcakes. She was pushing with her back so she wouldn't disturb the cupcakes. "Hey everyone, I'm here! Sorry I'm late, I had to make extra-" She turned around to see the table covered in knives, and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Oh, come on guys, are we really doing this?"

Sayori stepped one foot onto a nearby chair, and rested one elbow on that knee, flicking up her hat with the other. "Yer darn tootin, Missy."
"Sayori!"

"But she hasn't heard it yet!"

"Can someone just make room on the desks for my cupcakes?" Natsuki asked, and Yuri spread out some of the knives in response. "Thank you. This is stupid, though. Did we learn nothing from the bloodbath that is our game?"

"This is different! They're outsiders, not my best friends!" Monika said. "And besides, wasn't it you who said we have enough members in this club already?"

Natsuki crossed her arms, frowning. "Well, yeah, but it's not like there was a whole lot of choice in this place. We only have, like, five people in this school. Might as well greet these new, cool people with some of my delicious cupcakes."

"That's a good idea!" Yuri smiled. "I'll go make us some tea."

As Yuri started to boil the water, Monika rested her chin in her hand dejectedly. "Well, at least everyone's here now,"

"I'm here!" said MC.

"I know you are, MC." Monika said.

"The question is, where are all the other girls? We're almost two pages into this fic and no one's here yet!"

Monika raised an eyebrow. "You're right, actually. I hope this piece isn't too long, that would be a lot of w-"

"WAHAHAHA!~"

The booming voice echoed through the room, startling everyone who had been simply hanging out in the room. It came from a chubby girl with drills in her bright pink hair, wearing these strange red glasses that point up at the sides, striking an incredible silhouette. Next to her was a short haired girl with glasses, using sign language to communicate. Behind them were an assortment of girls and boys awkwardly watching this confrontation occur.

"It's time to bow down, you fools! It is I, Shizune Hakamichi- and me, Misha- come to take over this strange new school!"

There was a long pause of silence, punctuated by Natsuki picking up her tray of cupcakes and presenting them to the new arrivals. "Come on in, everyone! Get them quick, before Sayori gets to them first."

"Hey!"

Shizune furrowed her brow and started signing.

"What are you all doing? Aren't we gonna have a fight?"

Monika shook her head sadly. "I'd love that, but it looks like we're playing nice today."

A blonde haired girl pushed past the student council members, with a bashful girl behind her, her hair covering a face covered nearly halfway with scars.

"Hello, everyone. It's nice to meet you all. Sorry about their… loud greeting. I'm Lilly, and this is Hanako."

Hanako peeked out from behind Lilly. "H-hello…" she whispered.

Yuri smiled, familiar with what she was feeling. "Hello Lilly, Hanako. I'm making some tea right now, if you'd like."

Lilly smiled. "I think we'd quite like that, thank you."

"It'll be a bit, but you can take some cupcakes- hey!"

A tiny girl in pigtails had already begun scarfing down one of the cupcakes, her eyes alight with passion. She picked up another, and held it out to her thin friend, who didn't have arms, and said "MMM, chry thesh, thewe gud!"

"Emi, you're being weird."

Emi swallowed her cupcake, and frowned. "Rin, I know it's really bad when you say things like that about me."

"It's not your fault. After all, you did say you're more of a girl than me."

"What?"

Natsuki moved to stop them from ravaging her cupcake supply, and Shizune and Misha started chatting with Monika and Sayori. A very average-looking boy walked into the room, and walked up to MC.

"Hello, I am Hisao," said Hisao.

"Hello, I am MC," said MC.

They shook hands and then they were friends.

Everything was going well. It seemed like the tension that had permeated the room was nearly entirely gone.

But then, a grimy little piss goblin named Kenji crawled across the threshold. He was wearing only a loincloth, as that is his most natural state of being, and was holding a bowling ball in one hand. Slithering up to the ceiling, he scanned the room and finally his eyes fell on Natsuki. Seeing her pink hair immediately sent him flying into a rage. He leapt off the ceiling, and threw his bowling ball at her, legs, screaming, "FEMINISTS!"

The ball hit its mark right on her knee, and Natsuki screamed as she fell down. Everyone was silent. Natsuki slowly stood up, leaning heavily on the table that was covered in knives. Finally, she was able to right herself, and pick up the butcher's knife. "Alright, that's it. LETS KILL THOSE BITCHES!"

The room exploded in chaos. Everyone was immediately at each other's throats.

Monika immediately tried to delete the files of every character from Katawa Shoujo, but came up entirely blank. Her heart sank as she realized that none of the Shoujos actually had .chr files. Fuck you, Dan, she thought. Why'd you have to make us so easy to kill?

She was broken out of her attempt by the sound of a whirring drill, and she dodged quickly out of the way. Misha and Shizune were both teaming up on her, and Misha was using her hair as horrifying weapons against Monika. Meanwhile, Shizune had her flanked on the other side, making signs at Misha and using a flurry of punches and kicks to keep Monika occupied.

"Wahaha!~ Sorry, Monika! Looks like today just isn't your day!"

"My day? I'm not giving up my clubroom to a Pinky and the Brain knockoff!" Monika dodged out of the way of Misha's drills, vaulting over her podium and landing next to the table. She tripped on the landing, though, and the student council members were right on her tail.

"Don't turn your back on us!" Misha yelled. She jumped onto Monika, and the drills pierced right through her. As if they hadn't pierced through anything at all.

Monika grabbed one of the knives and grinned. "Misha, I'm not concerned about my own well-being. Sorry to say." She turned around and stabbed Misha in the side, and slashed through her. "While I'm still in this school, I'm untouchable," she said as the pixelated, glitched parts of her fit back into place.

Shizune cursed herself, for forgetting that Monika was truly the Sans Undertale of visual novels.

Sayori and Natsuki had their own problems to deal with, in the form of Rin and Emi. Emi was faster than a lightning bolt, and as Sayori tried to whip at her with her rope, she would just dart past it. Before she knew it, Sayori was punched up the chin from one of Emi's fists, and knocked onto her back. Natsuki was simply blocking all of Rin's kicks, one by one hurting her, but never bringing her down.

Natsuki growled, "Oh, you've made a mistake coming after me for this! I can take this for days!" She swiped at Rin with her butcher's knife, and would have connected if not for Emi blocking the blade with her prosthetics.
Kicking it away, Emi jumped back from them, pulling Rin back as she did so. Natsuki was able to take advantage of this retreat by picking Sayori back up.

Emi sighed. "I didn't think we had to do something like this, but it seems like that one's a tough cookie."

"Really? I thought she was a girl."

"What? Oh, just get over here."

Rin got behind Emi, and jumped onto her back. A flash of light erupted from the two of them, and when it cleared, there was only one girl standing in their place. They had fused together, stronger than the sum of their parts. "Prepare to chew gums and kick a ass. What?"
Meanwhile, Yuri had reluctantly squared off against Lilly and Hanako. Yuri was holding one of her switchblades in a threatening stance, prepared to strike. "D-don't get closer… I don't want to have to do this!"

Lilly put a hand up to her mouth and giggled. It was an incredibly beautiful sound, despite the circumstances. "I don't think I'll need to be coming any closer." Lilly raised up her hand, and a pillar of stone erupted from under Yuri's feet. She was knocked away into a wall, where the electric kettle was being kept on the floor, boiling the water for the tea. She had to think quickly. Lilly had to be put off-guard, so she should be targeting… the weaker one.

Yuri picked up the tea kettle and splashed the boiling water at Hanako. She gasped and turned so that the water hit the right side of her body. Steam burst from where the water impacted her, and for a moment they were all shrouded in that cloud. But as the steam dissipated, Hanako and Lilly were both still standing, but Hanako looked much angrier. There was fire in her eyes… and fire in her hands. There was literally fire swirling around her.

"A-are you making fun of me?" she asked. "I h-haven't felt anything in that s-side… for ten years…"
Between MC and Hisao, the battle seemed pretty even. Each one held a knife, and every stab was met with a parry, and MC knew that the winner would be the one who lost his stamina first. And eventually, Hisao was the first that hesitated. He winced, and his free hand pulled close at his chest.

MC grinned. "Gotcha!" He knocked loose Hisao's weapon, and stabbed into Hisao's stomach. Hisao doubled over, grabbing the hilt of MC's knife. MC was reveling in his victory, but the feeling was ripped away as Hisao pulled the knife away from MC's grasp. Hisao stood up, and held it easily in his hand. Where MC had stabbed him, there was no hole, only a slight abrasion of the fabric of Hisao's shirt.

"I don't get why everyone seems to hate on them," Hisao said, "but really, bulletproof sweater vests are really cool!"

Monika looked out on all the chaos that was happening. Her friends were dying, only Sayori and Natsuki barely holding their own against EmiRin. All because of one greasy little fucker. No matter how this ended or what she could do, this route could only end badly. Monika decided enough was enough. As her friends bled out, she reset.

Back to just before the Shoujos came into the club room.

Monika walked over to the door as Yuri started making the tea.

The door burst open again, and Misha's voice yelled, "WAHAHAHA!~"

Monika, being done with this bullshit, just said, "Where's the fucker?"

Shizune and Misha looked at each other quizzically. Shizune made some signs, and Misha asked, "You mean Hisao?"

Hisao, from the back of the crowd, raised his hand. "Hello!"

"No. Where's Kenji."

"Kenji? That's weird, I thought he was just with us," Lilly said.

"Here, I'll find him," Hisao grumbled. "Kenji! They say they know where your secret bunker is!"

A hissing sound came from behind the group, and a ballistic Kenji dove in from just under the door frame behind them, a bowling ball in hand headed straight for Monika. "MY SECRETSSSSS!"

Monika groaned and caught the tiny gremlin in her hands, and tore the bowling ball from his hands. She threw him down and conked his head with the bowling ball. She threw it away and as he started bleeding, she looked around at everyone and asked, "Everyone okay with that?"

Everyone was very okay with that.

They all celebrated together, finally one and at peace with each other. At the end of the day, everyone had a big group hug together.

But while they were all celebrating... while no one was looking… Yuuko gathered up Kenji's unconscious body, and vowed that she would get her revenge.
Best Girl: Hanako = Rin > Lilly > Emi > Shizune

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Oddball
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Re: April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

Post by Oddball » Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:55 pm

Not bad.

The story seemed to not be sure of it's own tone a time or two, but otherwise it felt rather cute.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

Post by Mirage_GSM » Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:14 am

Well... It might have helped to know what this is supposed to be a crossover OF...
As is for me it's just a bunch of characters I don't know doing random stuff.
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Oddball
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Re: April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

Post by Oddball » Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:43 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:14 am
Well... It might have helpt to know what this is supposed to be a crossover OF...
As is for me it's just a bunch of characters I don't know doing random stuff.
DDLC. Doki Doki Literature Club! (Their exclamation point, not mine.) I haven't played it myself, but I'm aware of it.
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Oscar Wildecat
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Re: April Fools Deathmatch! KS VS DDLC

Post by Oscar Wildecat » Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:27 pm

Oddball wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:43 am
Mirage_GSM wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:14 am
Well... It might have helpt to know what this is supposed to be a crossover OF...
As is for me it's just a bunch of characters I don't know doing random stuff.
DDLC. Doki Doki Literature Club! (Their exclamation point, not mine.) I haven't played it myself, but I'm aware of it.
I've played it. It's no Katawa Shoujo :wink:, but it's a reasonably good VN in its own right.

However, if you haven't played it, do your self a favor and read absolutely nothing about it before playing. Even this fanfic gives away a bit too much...
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
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