NmO does Shorts [Updated 2020/12/24]

[NoticeMeOppai]

This is my entry for this year's SSX2/SS11/Secret Santa dealie. If you haven't already, please do take a look here for everyone else's entries. This was a difficult prompt initially but once the idea popped into my head it pretty much wrote itself. Word of warning, if you're looking for happy Christmas fluff, this ain't it.


Simpathy for the Devil

The tinny laughter leaking out of his headphones sends a ripple of revulsion down my spine again as I clear the practically untouched meal from where I left it hours earlier. How many months has this been? I look back at the man I love (or is it loved now?), rumpled and unshaven, his hair sticking up in that characteristic way that used to endear him so much to me. I’m not even sure the last time I saw him bathe. It’s definitely been a few days judging from the sour smell curling around him like a blanket. It permeates the whole apartment and makes me feel unclean as well, despite having just had a bath moments earlier.

“Hisao honey, there’s still water in the bath if you want to go through,” I gently encourage but he waves me off irritably. The cartoon character on his screen laughs again at some nonsense or other in the game she’s playing.

I turn away, hiding the angry tears that roll down my cheeks - not that he’d notice anyway. I wipe my face with the back of my hand, feeling the smooth scar tissue across my right cheek transition to healthy skin as I move across my face. Even after all this time the textures still draw my attention, long after I stopped letting it define who I am.

I suppose in a way I should be grateful to him for supporting me when I was younger, helping me grow and become the more assertive and confident woman I am today. It feels like a lifetime ago now though. It was a lifetime ago now I realise - thirteen years is a long time. It never felt that way until earlier this year though. They talk about the seven year itch but it was never that way between us. Hanako and Hisao, the perfect couple. It really had seemed so at times. Now I sit in my office all day writing article after article on clickbaity nonsense and he sits there watching those damn “vtubers”.

This pandemic has been rough on everyone, and I know I should be thankful that the job I have means we’ve been able to keep the apartment. Even so I can’t help but feel angry at how things have turned out. When Hisao’s university laid him off due to cutbacks he smiled and told me not to worry, he’d find something else and we’d be ok. I believed him and even though my freelance work as a writer was a little intermittent we got through it, together. Gradually though, I started noticing he was spending more and more time in front of his computer.

The cheerful, colourful figures on his screen I initially saw as a good thing, helping cheer him up from the dreary search for jobs in an ever worsening market. I even watched a few of the streams with him, they were entertaining for what they were, but not really my thing. The girls were too perky and I didn’t really care about the games they were playing. Still it seemed to make him happy so I didn’t mind so much. Gradually his time watching them increased though, and when he wasn’t watching a stream he was arguing about them in some forum or chat room or some such. It had been months since he’d so much as opened a job search page now, even though things were opening up again.

Whilst I mope over all this for the umpteenth time today, I realise I’ve finished doing the dishes and reach for the towel to start putting everything away. It doesn’t take me long, and with a glance over at where my husband sits I pull out a glass and go for the bottle of whisky I keep stashed under the sink. Barely a finger is left in the bottom of the bottle; disappointing. I’ll have to get some more next time I am out. I glance over at Hisao again and notice him reaching for his wallet.

Brow furrowed, I walk over to get a better look at what he is doing and stare in disbelief. Here I am slaving away to keep us afloat and he’s then spending that money to what? Send a message to some girl hiding behind a virtual avatar? I can feel the rage winding up inside me as he types.

<Red rectangle, simping for my Queen! So hyped for this stream!>

I can’t believe what I’m seeing and something just snaps inside me as I tip the meager glass of drink over his head, “Are you fucking kidding me Hisao?!”

I want to punch his stupid fucking face in as he stares at me, slack jawed as if not remotely understanding why I’m upset.

“H-hana, what’s wrong babe?”

“What’s wrong?! WHAT’S WRONG!?” I scream, flecks of spittle flying from my mouth but I don’t even care, “THAT’S WHAT’S FUCKING WRONG!?” I point to the message, glowing red on the screen briefly before getting lost in a rainbow of asinine comments.

Hisao just stares back at me, now at least looking somewhat guilty as the alcohol drips down his face.

I’m too angry to deal with him right now though, this is just too far. I slam the empty glass down on the table and leave, grabbing my coat and bag before slamming the door behind me.

****

A short while later I find myself in a bar down the street. Thankfully I was still wearing work clothes despite working from home so I don’t look too out of place. I’d managed to clean up the signs of crying in the bathroom and applied a touch of lipstick that I found in the bottom of my purse. I order a whisky, and the look the bartender gives me as he serves it puts me in an even fouler mood. Sure I could be a ‘proper’ lady and drink wine or gin but Hisao and that weird friend of his drink it and I kind of developed a taste for it.

I slug the drink back, fighting the urge to wince as the burning liquid hits my throat. I don't want to give the bartender the satisfaction and raise my finger to order another while I fight to get my voice back under control. He cocks an eyebrow and pours me another before turning away.

"Oh fuck that guy," a voice beside me mutters.

Startled, I turn to see a tall and rather handsome man grinning self-assuredly over at me.

My eyes travel down from his stylishly scruffy hair, past full eyebrows, dark brown eyes and sharp nose. They linger on his full lips before moving onto his chiselled jaw and broad chest covered with a tight white t-shirt and leather jacket, before settling on the hand extended between us.

"I'm Tenshi by the way."

I stare at his hand for a moment - the long slender fingers wouldn’t look out of place in that BL manga Suzy tried to get me to read once. Her voice pops up in my memory, With hands that size, you know he has a huuuuge… I cut the memory off and shake my head to clear the thought but it's too late, I can feel my cheeks heating and sure enough the mirror behind the bar confirms my face is red as a beetroot.

I reach for the patiently waiting hand and shake it gingerly, feeling the warm strength radiating from it.

"I'm H-hanako, n-nice to meet you."

I'm instantly furious with myself, letting the girlish stutter I hadn't worried about in years pass my lips. Reaching for my drink I take another large slug to settle myself. So what if this stranger is the first person to take any real notice of me in months, I'm a married woman, I certainly shouldn't be getting all giddy like this.

He smiles at me again and points at the glass in my hand - now nearly empty, "You have good taste in whisky Hanako, can I buy you another?"

I nod once, not trusting myself not to stutter and he motions the barman over for more drinks.

We end up talking for a couple hours, after the initial embarrassment has dissipated, it's really nice to talk to someone who actually listens to me for the first time in what feels like months. Turns out he's a scientist at a nearby lab. He also admits he drives a motorcycle which explains the leather jacket. He seems content to do most of the talking to start with and once a few more drinks have loosened my tongue he makes a remarkably good listener.

I find myself telling him all sorts of things I'd usually never dream of talking to a stranger about - my marriage, the months of loneliness as Hisao spiralled deeper down the streaming rabbit hole. Through it all he never once mentions my scars or even makes a sign he's noticed them although he'd have to be as blind as Lilly not to by now.

Eventually I sigh and put my empty glass down with a solemn click of finality as it hits the bar. I’ve had far more drinks than I was intending and whilst I’m not in danger of blacking out, I’m not a teenager anymore - I know my limits and I’m rapidly approaching them.

“I’d better head home now. Thank you Tenshi,” I climb to my feet, swaying gently, “For the drinks, and... mostly for listening.”

He smiles back at me as he stands as well, “I’ll walk you out.”

Out on the street the wind is cold and I pull my jacket tight around me against the December wind. The neon sign outside the bar gives Tenshi an odd hue but I certainly don't mind it on him. I chastise myself once more for thinking about him in that way, and fidget awkwardly with my wedding ring.

“So I’m, uh. I live that way,” I gesture lamely up the road.

He points in the opposite direction chagrined, “Sadly I’m over there.” He slips his hands in his pockets against the cold and lingers, neither of us willing to end the night just yet, although both of us know we should.

“Thank you again,” I manage, awkward as a teenager after prom lets out, “I really mean it. It’s been so nice to actually talk to someone.”

“Don’t mention it,” he ruffles his hair with one hand, swaying slightly as if he’s about to turn and leave.

On impulse I go to peck him on the cheek. A year ago it would have been completely unthinkable for me to do even that, but it’s been a very odd year.

As I stretch up on my toes he turns to meet me and before I can really think what’s happening our arms are around each other and tongues entwine. My arms reach up and run through his hair, bringing him closer in towards me. Our teeth bump slightly and we both giggle, startled at the sudden interruption, only for our kiss to resume, hungry and primal.

There’s a tiny voice in my head screaming that this is wrong, that I should just stop and go home before this goes any further, but that voice is small and distant compared to the raging need welling up inside of me. Any last resistance fades as I remember that glowing red message and the slack-jawed look of incomprehension on Hisao’s face as my drink dripped from his eyebrows and down his nose.

I kiss along Tenshi’s neck and ear, gently nibbling at the lobe before whispering “Take me somewhere.”

His eyes widen slightly as I pull back. My forwardness surprises even myself but the inner voice that would usually be cautioning me and reminding me that I shouldn’t be doing this as I have a husband is still seething at him from earlier. The alcohol raging through my bloodstream agrees this is a great plan.

Before I have time to regret anything, he smiles back at me, the lust in his eyes reflecting my own and I find myself in his apartment.

****

Shortly before morning I stumble home, legs weak and womb aching from the night's activities. It’s been months since Hisao and I were intimate and even then I don’t think I was ever satisfied so fully. I turn the key quietly in the lock and step into the house, dropping my shoes neatly in their space by the door.

I lean back against the door and sigh gently, still riding high on the wave of endorphins. After a moment to collect myself I walk into the house, where it seems Hisao has been busy. The living areas have all been cleaned and from the smell of things he’s showered and made at least some effort to get rid of the stale smell. As I pass the computer, I even spot a small stack of freshly printed CVs.

A pang of guilt hits me, standing in the living room I share with my husband, with the smell of another man still lingering in my nostrils. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, trying to stop the tears, but a trickle runs down the side of my face regardless. Taking a quick shower to clean away the evidence I hope the hot water will sluice away some of the guilt as well, but after a few minutes of being under the near scalding water it’s only making things worse so I get out and put some pyjamas on.

Creeping into our shared room I see he’s laid out both futons for us and is currently snoring quietly in his. I climb into my own as quietly as I can and feel the exhaustion start to take me. We’re going to have to have a long talk in the morning, and it’s one I'm not looking forward to.

I have a feeling Christmas at the Nakais’ this year will be somewhat less than Merry.

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Victim: Emii
Prompt: Hisao simps for a vtuber

Apologies this probably isn't what you intended Emii, but as I say this kind of wrote itself. Many many thanks to Feurox, Nuke and Brister for proofreading for me, any errors and inconsistencies are likely from me ignoring their advice.