NmO does Shorts [Updated 2020/12/24]

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Re: NmO does Shorts [Updated 2019/10/27]

Post by NoticeMeOppai » Mon Dec 02, 2019 9:34 am

Since it's December now, here's a short Christmassy piece I wrote recently whilst waiting for SX to start. Many thanks to Feurox for proofing/beta reading it for me.

Pillow Talk

I collapse on top of Emi, spent, and linger for a few seconds before kissing her neck and rolling off.

After taking a few moments to check my heart isn't up to any mischief, I find I'm not even breathing particularly hard. Running at the track with Emi every morning has certainly started paying off and these impromptu exercise sessions after hours certainly haven't hurt either. Once I'm satisfied everything is as it should be, I turn to find Emi smiling at me, idly tracing the scar on my chest with one hand.

"I love you."

The words just slip out in my post coital haze, but even as I say them, I know it's true.

Her face lights up in reaction to my confession, "I love you too Hisao."

Our lips meet briefly with none of the urgency or passion of the moments before. Something is different, but it's no less heartfelt, and we let our noses touch for a short while after as we cuddle in the afterglow.

A few short months ago when I arrived at Yamaku, I could never have imagined that things would turn out so amazingly. My health is much better, I have an amazing girlfriend, and I'm even doing pretty well with school work. Well, in everything but English, but English doesn't count right?

A playful shove reminds me that said amazing girlfriend has been talking to me as I've been daydreaming.

"Earth to Hisao!” I tilt my head innocently, and she giggles, “I asked what you were planning to do over Christmas break," she repeats.

I instantly feel guilty for ignoring her, and judging from the triumphant grin spreading across her face that's exactly the reaction she wanted.

"So?" she prompts, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure really," I say, “in all honesty I hadn't thought about it much. Maybe I’ll just go to my parents’ house or something."

Emi turns on her trademark puppy dog eyes, "Is that how it is? You wouldn't prefer to spend the most romantic day of the year with your new and exceptionally beautiful girlfriend?"

I hadn't actually considered that, but now that she mentions it that would be much better. Still, I can't let her win this easily. "I thought Valentine's wasn't until early next year," I quip back.

A pillow hits me square in the face before I even register her picking it up and I laugh, throwing it back towards her side of the bed.

"You know what I mean!" she pouts, "Stay here and let's go on a date."

I pretend to consider it for a moment before agreeing. I was always going to say yes but she's far too much fun to wind up.

When I do finally nod, she beams at me before leaning across to give me a peck on the cheek, "Good boy."

"What do you want to do about presents?" I ask, suddenly realising that I have no idea what to get her.

"Just something small I guess," she replies, "I don't really have the budget for much else." She frowns, before suddenly smiling at me again, "It best be cute though!"

"Cute, huh?"

"Well, mom is going to get me some new prosthetics, so I need something cute to balance things out."

"I think your legs are pretty cute already."

She blushes and bats me with the pillow she's still holding. "They're not my main present from her though."

Prosthetics must be pretty expensive so I wonder what could possibly trump that.

She grins coyly at me before finishing, "yeah, they're just stocking fillers."

Now it's my turn to throw a pillow at her.

"I'll get you for that."

I pin her down and cover her face in kisses as she giggles. She meets my lips and I'm very suddenly reminded that we're still both in bed naked. This is turning into a very enjoyable evening indeed.
NmO Does Shorts

I deeply regret my choice of username.

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Re: NmO does Shorts [Updated 2019/12/02]

Post by PsychicSpy » Mon Dec 02, 2019 3:06 pm

Very cute! Love it.

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Re: NmO does Shorts [Updated 2019/12/02]

Post by Feurox » Tue Dec 03, 2019 9:45 am

A lovely story that I had then privellage of proofreading. Very cute and sweet, the perfect digestif before SX can begin in earnest. Now we’re all in the spirit!

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Re: NmO does Shorts [Updated 2019/12/02]

Post by Feurox » Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:55 am

An Evening Run
• A lovely little piece. There might be ‘ice on the ground’ but thoughts ‘melt’ away, very poetic and really heartfelt. At first, I thought this would be a story where Emi has passed before Hisao, I’m always looking for the twist. You got me with this one though, it’s rare to highlight the disjunction between the VN and real life, but you pull it off masterfully. It’s a little bittersweet, but damn, that note of defiance at the end, that it never really mattered if any of them were real, the messages were what mattered, that’s a powerful way to join the Forums. Kudos.

Hokkaido for Two
• A wonderfully clever tittle, very funny. I admit, I’m not a lover of lewds (probably why I haven’t commented before.) That being said, the connection felt genuine in this story between the two, but I have to concur with Mirage, it felt a connection between two people who aren’t Lilly and Hanako. That doesn’t make it bad by any means, it was superbly written and paced excellently, but I won’t be up thinking about what it all meant. That’s not really a requirement, just how I approach stories that interest me I suppose.

Comfort Food
• Well that was fucking weird. Good weird, bloody hilarious read. I was waiting for it to be some disgusting parfait style story, which would have immediately sent me on my way, but this was a good laugh. Stories like this are great, because they’re so face value, just a good time and a good twist, well done mate. (Sounds like you and Munchenhausen would have got along.)

Worry Tree

• My experience with any kind of poetry is very... academic. Well, aside form the one piece I wrote in Time is Dancing. That being said, this is really done well. Of course, Lap has beaten me to the punch, this is very Rin indeed. I really like the subtle hint that the worry tree is aging, it’s a space that is changing for Rin anyway thanks to Hisao, but it’s changing in other ways too. Rin is the kind of person who I think would find Time so fascinating. It actually reminds me of a story idea I had once, a parent explaining to Rin where their late pet had gone. Rin has this beautiful curiosity, and that comes through really well in this Haiku. Again, Kudos. (A little Keane inspired?)


• Hm. Not my cup of tea, I’m really not a big smut fan unless there’s some reason to it all. I thought for a moment, this might be a bit of a depressing yarn about unrequited love, but not really. It’s very well written as usual, but its just not my style. But a great word, Ecouteurism, ha! TIL indeed!

Dearest Hisao
• You like your poetry huh? This one is much more up my street than the haiku, it’s beautiful really. I can’t get the beat right, and I personally doubt you’d like me to break down the entirety of what works and doesn’t ref the metre, so instead I’ll comment on the content. It’s deeply sad, and I love that. The only real charring element is the mention of Hanako, seems to break the flow of that line, and also seems a bit irrelevant in a way, but I like that. As a piece of metanarrative, Hanako breaking the flow kind of shows Lilly having remembered her in her poem, not the focus, despite the bond they share… But yeah, this poem is profoundly lonely, very fitting of Burns day indeed. I hope you had some haggis; I’ll be deep frying mine and reciting some poetry next year I assure you. Cheers for the wonderful poem here.

• A competition entry, not one of the ones I was assessing or doing feedback for, but I believe I was one of the judges? I remember reading this last year, and it’s held up great! That whole batch of competition entries was very dreamlike, and I’m not huge into that motif, but your story more so than the others makes it work wonderfully! I don’t have much else to say on this one, it’s really bloody good. The idea that poor Misha was hearing the whole ordeal with Shizune and Hisao is heart-breaking, very Patrick Hamilton… but I’m on a bit of a kick there. You do like your ecotuerism don’t you? Very painful stuff, but nice to have a somewhat happy resolution.
Pillow Talk
• I proofread this story. Very lovely piece all around. I admit I got a bit confused reading them now, because I thought this was for SX, but it was just I preparation I see! I think this was your first story I proofread? I’m not sure if you had someone before, but looking back, there’s not much noticeable change in quality, it seems I only fixed some comma issues. (You sometimes place them a little awkwardly I’ve noticed, but it’s quite nit-picky and preferential.) This was a lovely bit of festive cheer, and I love the ending! Good job.

A Festive Flashback
• I also proofread this one. I found the prompt a bit tough, I was certainly glad I got the one I did. Knowing what I’m like, I probably would have twisted the knife a lot deeper on this one with Hanako not getting a present, and having someone like Shizune maybe make the amendments. We went through a few revisions on this one, right? Very tough. I also wish we found out what he gave her, but perhaps that’s best a secret! Good work for a hard prompt, well done.

Rooftop Repartee
• Ha! A wonderful tale again. Though I object to Mutou’s use of ‘blow this party’, this is really a believable scenario. Also, for a moment I was all excited because I thought it was a Gravity reference, but then I realised who your prompt was for! In serious, that was a lovely thing to include, very thoughtful little snippet! I love the ending too, we’ve all been there, ditching the busy party for a cigarette and a drink with your mate, talking about everything and nothing, holding that goddamn heavy world for all its weight. I hope Mutou got that dance; and I hope I see more Mutou and Nurse stories, you do both so well!

Anyway, I think that’s all your stuff on the renai? Do let me know if I’ve missed any. They were all wonderful reads – whilst I probably won’t ever engage much with the smut stuff, I deeply regret not engaging with some of your other stories sooner. Your first secret santa in particular is damn good, it hits all the notes i typically shoots for and more. Fantastic work, I can’t wait to see what you have in store next! I'll send you this in a word document on Discord too, so you have a physical copy as it were.

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Re: NmO does Shorts [Updated 2019/12/02]

Post by NoticeMeOppai » Thu Dec 24, 2020 3:20 pm

This is my entry for this year's SSX2/SS11/Secret Santa dealie. If you haven't already, please do take a look here for everyone else's entries. This was a difficult prompt initially but once the idea popped into my head it pretty much wrote itself. Word of warning, if you're looking for happy Christmas fluff, this ain't it.

Simpathy for the Devil

The tinny laughter leaking out of his headphones sends a ripple of revulsion down my spine again as I clear the practically untouched meal from where I left it hours earlier. How many months has this been? I look back at the man I love (or is it loved now?), rumpled and unshaven, his hair sticking up in that characteristic way that used to endear him so much to me. I’m not even sure the last time I saw him bathe. It’s definitely been a few days judging from the sour smell curling around him like a blanket. It permeates the whole apartment and makes me feel unclean as well, despite having just had a bath moments earlier.

“Hisao honey, there’s still water in the bath if you want to go through,” I gently encourage but he waves me off irritably. The cartoon character on his screen laughs again at some nonsense or other in the game she’s playing.

I turn away, hiding the angry tears that roll down my cheeks - not that he’d notice anyway. I wipe my face with the back of my hand, feeling the smooth scar tissue across my right cheek transition to healthy skin as I move across my face. Even after all this time the textures still draw my attention, long after I stopped letting it define who I am.

I suppose in a way I should be grateful to him for supporting me when I was younger, helping me grow and become the more assertive and confident woman I am today. It feels like a lifetime ago now though. It was a lifetime ago now I realise - thirteen years is a long time. It never felt that way until earlier this year though. They talk about the seven year itch but it was never that way between us. Hanako and Hisao, the perfect couple. It really had seemed so at times. Now I sit in my office all day writing article after article on clickbaity nonsense and he sits there watching those damn “vtubers”.

This pandemic has been rough on everyone, and I know I should be thankful that the job I have means we’ve been able to keep the apartment. Even so I can’t help but feel angry at how things have turned out. When Hisao’s university laid him off due to cutbacks he smiled and told me not to worry, he’d find something else and we’d be ok. I believed him and even though my freelance work as a writer was a little intermittent we got through it, together. Gradually though, I started noticing he was spending more and more time in front of his computer.

The cheerful, colourful figures on his screen I initially saw as a good thing, helping cheer him up from the dreary search for jobs in an ever worsening market. I even watched a few of the streams with him, they were entertaining for what they were, but not really my thing. The girls were too perky and I didn’t really care about the games they were playing. Still it seemed to make him happy so I didn’t mind so much. Gradually his time watching them increased though, and when he wasn’t watching a stream he was arguing about them in some forum or chat room or some such. It had been months since he’d so much as opened a job search page now, even though things were opening up again.

Whilst I mope over all this for the umpteenth time today, I realise I’ve finished doing the dishes and reach for the towel to start putting everything away. It doesn’t take me long, and with a glance over at where my husband sits I pull out a glass and go for the bottle of whisky I keep stashed under the sink. Barely a finger is left in the bottom of the bottle; disappointing. I’ll have to get some more next time I am out. I glance over at Hisao again and notice him reaching for his wallet.

Brow furrowed, I walk over to get a better look at what he is doing and stare in disbelief. Here I am slaving away to keep us afloat and he’s then spending that money to what? Send a message to some girl hiding behind a virtual avatar? I can feel the rage winding up inside me as he types.

<Red rectangle, simping for my Queen! So hyped for this stream!>

I can’t believe what I’m seeing and something just snaps inside me as I tip the meager glass of drink over his head, “Are you fucking kidding me Hisao?!”

I want to punch his stupid fucking face in as he stares at me, slack jawed as if not remotely understanding why I’m upset.

“H-hana, what’s wrong babe?”

“What’s wrong?! WHAT’S WRONG!?” I scream, flecks of spittle flying from my mouth but I don’t even care, “THAT’S WHAT’S FUCKING WRONG!?” I point to the message, glowing red on the screen briefly before getting lost in a rainbow of asinine comments.

Hisao just stares back at me, now at least looking somewhat guilty as the alcohol drips down his face.

I’m too angry to deal with him right now though, this is just too far. I slam the empty glass down on the table and leave, grabbing my coat and bag before slamming the door behind me.


A short while later I find myself in a bar down the street. Thankfully I was still wearing work clothes despite working from home so I don’t look too out of place. I’d managed to clean up the signs of crying in the bathroom and applied a touch of lipstick that I found in the bottom of my purse. I order a whisky, and the look the bartender gives me as he serves it puts me in an even fouler mood. Sure I could be a ‘proper’ lady and drink wine or gin but Hisao and that weird friend of his drink it and I kind of developed a taste for it.

I slug the drink back, fighting the urge to wince as the burning liquid hits my throat. I don't want to give the bartender the satisfaction and raise my finger to order another while I fight to get my voice back under control. He cocks an eyebrow and pours me another before turning away.

"Oh fuck that guy," a voice beside me mutters.

Startled, I turn to see a tall and rather handsome man grinning self-assuredly over at me.

My eyes travel down from his stylishly scruffy hair, past full eyebrows, dark brown eyes and sharp nose. They linger on his full lips before moving onto his chiselled jaw and broad chest covered with a tight white t-shirt and leather jacket, before settling on the hand extended between us.

"I'm Tenshi by the way."

I stare at his hand for a moment - the long slender fingers wouldn’t look out of place in that BL manga Suzy tried to get me to read once. Her voice pops up in my memory, With hands that size, you know he has a huuuuge… I cut the memory off and shake my head to clear the thought but it's too late, I can feel my cheeks heating and sure enough the mirror behind the bar confirms my face is red as a beetroot.

I reach for the patiently waiting hand and shake it gingerly, feeling the warm strength radiating from it.

"I'm H-hanako, n-nice to meet you."

I'm instantly furious with myself, letting the girlish stutter I hadn't worried about in years pass my lips. Reaching for my drink I take another large slug to settle myself. So what if this stranger is the first person to take any real notice of me in months, I'm a married woman, I certainly shouldn't be getting all giddy like this.

He smiles at me again and points at the glass in my hand - now nearly empty, "You have good taste in whisky Hanako, can I buy you another?"

I nod once, not trusting myself not to stutter and he motions the barman over for more drinks.

We end up talking for a couple hours, after the initial embarrassment has dissipated, it's really nice to talk to someone who actually listens to me for the first time in what feels like months. Turns out he's a scientist at a nearby lab. He also admits he drives a motorcycle which explains the leather jacket. He seems content to do most of the talking to start with and once a few more drinks have loosened my tongue he makes a remarkably good listener.

I find myself telling him all sorts of things I'd usually never dream of talking to a stranger about - my marriage, the months of loneliness as Hisao spiralled deeper down the streaming rabbit hole. Through it all he never once mentions my scars or even makes a sign he's noticed them although he'd have to be as blind as Lilly not to by now.

Eventually I sigh and put my empty glass down with a solemn click of finality as it hits the bar. I’ve had far more drinks than I was intending and whilst I’m not in danger of blacking out, I’m not a teenager anymore - I know my limits and I’m rapidly approaching them.

“I’d better head home now. Thank you Tenshi,” I climb to my feet, swaying gently, “For the drinks, and... mostly for listening.”

He smiles back at me as he stands as well, “I’ll walk you out.”

Out on the street the wind is cold and I pull my jacket tight around me against the December wind. The neon sign outside the bar gives Tenshi an odd hue but I certainly don't mind it on him. I chastise myself once more for thinking about him in that way, and fidget awkwardly with my wedding ring.

“So I’m, uh. I live that way,” I gesture lamely up the road.

He points in the opposite direction chagrined, “Sadly I’m over there.” He slips his hands in his pockets against the cold and lingers, neither of us willing to end the night just yet, although both of us know we should.

“Thank you again,” I manage, awkward as a teenager after prom lets out, “I really mean it. It’s been so nice to actually talk to someone.”

“Don’t mention it,” he ruffles his hair with one hand, swaying slightly as if he’s about to turn and leave.

On impulse I go to peck him on the cheek. A year ago it would have been completely unthinkable for me to do even that, but it’s been a very odd year.

As I stretch up on my toes he turns to meet me and before I can really think what’s happening our arms are around each other and tongues entwine. My arms reach up and run through his hair, bringing him closer in towards me. Our teeth bump slightly and we both giggle, startled at the sudden interruption, only for our kiss to resume, hungry and primal.

There’s a tiny voice in my head screaming that this is wrong, that I should just stop and go home before this goes any further, but that voice is small and distant compared to the raging need welling up inside of me. Any last resistance fades as I remember that glowing red message and the slack-jawed look of incomprehension on Hisao’s face as my drink dripped from his eyebrows and down his nose.

I kiss along Tenshi’s neck and ear, gently nibbling at the lobe before whispering “Take me somewhere.”

His eyes widen slightly as I pull back. My forwardness surprises even myself but the inner voice that would usually be cautioning me and reminding me that I shouldn’t be doing this as I have a husband is still seething at him from earlier. The alcohol raging through my bloodstream agrees this is a great plan.

Before I have time to regret anything, he smiles back at me, the lust in his eyes reflecting my own and I find myself in his apartment.


Shortly before morning I stumble home, legs weak and womb aching from the night's activities. It’s been months since Hisao and I were intimate and even then I don’t think I was ever satisfied so fully. I turn the key quietly in the lock and step into the house, dropping my shoes neatly in their space by the door.

I lean back against the door and sigh gently, still riding high on the wave of endorphins. After a moment to collect myself I walk into the house, where it seems Hisao has been busy. The living areas have all been cleaned and from the smell of things he’s showered and made at least some effort to get rid of the stale smell. As I pass the computer, I even spot a small stack of freshly printed CVs.

A pang of guilt hits me, standing in the living room I share with my husband, with the smell of another man still lingering in my nostrils. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, trying to stop the tears, but a trickle runs down the side of my face regardless. Taking a quick shower to clean away the evidence I hope the hot water will sluice away some of the guilt as well, but after a few minutes of being under the near scalding water it’s only making things worse so I get out and put some pyjamas on.

Creeping into our shared room I see he’s laid out both futons for us and is currently snoring quietly in his. I climb into my own as quietly as I can and feel the exhaustion start to take me. We’re going to have to have a long talk in the morning, and it’s one I'm not looking forward to.

I have a feeling Christmas at the Nakais’ this year will be somewhat less than Merry.


Victim: Emii
Prompt: Hisao simps for a vtuber

Apologies this probably isn't what you intended Emii, but as I say this kind of wrote itself. Many many thanks to Feurox, Nuke and Brister for proofreading for me, any errors and inconsistencies are likely from me ignoring their advice.
NmO Does Shorts

I deeply regret my choice of username.

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