Infinite Promises - A Lilly Epilogue [updated 6/8]

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Infinite Promises - A Lilly Epilogue [updated 6/8]

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:00 am

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I told y'all I would get some quality art for my fic and here it is! Super thanks to this amazing artist: Sorapoi
Last edited by gibzx on Thu Jun 08, 2017 10:56 am, edited 12 times in total.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Foreword

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:01 am

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What is this?
Infinite Promises is an alternate epilogue that follows the events following Hisao's airport chase. The story will mainly focus on the star-crossed lover's relationship, as well as develop their 'small, mishappen family.'

Why Lilly?

Lilly's ending and story arc was my favourite in Katawa Shoujo by far. I loved every second of it, and over time I started having ideas on what became of them.
I realize that there are other Lilly fanfics out there, but worry not, I'll keep things fresh and interesting.

I realize that writing an entire entire epilogue is a tad ambitious for a first timer's project, but I believe everyone has to start somewhere, and no better place to start than with a project I am passionate about. The story contains some sexual content, but doesn't have a full on sex scene YET. I'm still learning my way around writing fanfiction, and while I am familiar with erotica, I have never actually attempted to write any myself.

Feel welcome to criticize and point out any grammatical or sentence structure errors you may find. Feedback is aways welcomed! :D
Last edited by gibzx on Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:36 am, edited 6 times in total.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Index

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:03 am

Index:

Act 1: Conjecture
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Magical Getaway- 1 2 3 4 5 6
Losing Touch- 1 2 3
Last edited by gibzx on Thu Jun 08, 2017 10:57 am, edited 14 times in total.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Infinite Promises - Chapter 1: Magical Getaway(PART 1)

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:04 am

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Act 1: Conjecture

Magical Getaway - part 1

Streams of people are flowing around me like powerful currents threatening to wash me away if I attempt to go any further into the river. Every part of my brain is fired up right now, and they are all telling me the same thing: Don’t

I’m nearly out of breath, droplets of sweat have already started running down my forehead and I can feel my heart beating like a jackhammer. I put my hand over my chest and focus on what’s beneath it.
It has to be my mind playing tricks, my heart can’t be giving up this soon, can it?

A quick test confirms my worst fear. My heart is pummeling as if it were trying to punch its way out of my torso, I won’t be able to sustain this much for longer. Usually this would be the part where I take a breather and relax myself, but I don’t have the luxury of time right now.

My head is pounding even more so than my chest, screaming at me to halt at once. I’m tempted to give into my fatigue and call it a day, that is until I catch a glimpse of golden hair among the crowd.

Lilly

I take a deep breath and attempt to push my way through the horde once more. I must not forget why I am here. One foot in front of the other, Hisao, COME ON.

One, two. One, two. One, tw-

wham

A particularly large businessman and I collide, he was far too busy texting to pay attention to where he was going. Thankfully I managed to turn sideways just in time to avoid a direct impact to the chest, instead catching me in the shoulder. He tries to apologize, but by the time he turns around I’m already gone.

One, two. One, two. One, two. One, tw-

WHAM

A little kid running around the corridor runs into me and hits his head dead center in my chest. My heart skips a beat, and I start to see red lines in my vision. Maybe i should sto-
My worries take a backseat when I glance upwards and see what I’m looking for. In the distance, I can see Lilly walking alongside Akira in her unmistakeable striped suit. My heart skips a beat at the sight of her.

Oh wait, no. that’s just my heart literally skipping a beat.
They’re nearly reaching the gate now, and in a few short seconds they will be gone forever.
“LILLY!” I give a pathetic attempt at shouting. I’m breathless, and can’t talk any louder than a whisper. She’ll never hear me amongst all the ruckus of a busy airport.
I need to get to them and I need to do it NOW.

It’s too late for one step at a time, and so I charge into the incoming flood of people and split the crowd like it’s the Red Sea. My body and mind are begging me to stop, but they are not in control now.
No, I’m being driven by something else. I can’t point exactly what it is, but I know that it’s not physical or mental. It’s much more than an instinct or a reflex. It’s something I feel deep inside...

Thump thump, thump thump

I’m colliding against people left and right, and my heart is starting to get more erratic by the second.

ThumpthumpTHUMPthump

Just a few more seconds, I’m begging you heart, don’t betray me now.

ThumpthumpthumpthumpTHUMPTHU-

My hands immediately clutch at my chest and an “ARGH” is the only sound that scapes out of my mouth as the pain I’ve been enduring all this time spikes to new levels. Everything is red now, and the edges of my vision are darkening.

I guess out of all the ways one can die, chasing after the girl you love isn't so bad. Love, the word resonates in my mind, getting louder and louder by the second. So that’s what's fueling me.

I attempt to make one more step, but my legs crumble beneath me and I see the floor rapidly closing in. As I fall I take one last look upwards, and see Lilly and Akira about to pass the point of no return. The boarding gate.

I guess not even love was powerful enough to sustain my weak body.

I hit the ground, and the airport’s cold marble floor pressed against my face is all I’m able to feel, people are starting to crowd around me. I think they’re saying something, but I can’t hear anything anymore, not even my own heartbeat. I don’t feel pain this time unlike my last heart attack, and I don’t know if that’s soothing or scary right now. All I know is that everything is going dark, and my eyes are starting to close despite my best efforts to stay awake.

“Forgive… me” are the last words to come out of my mouth before I start slipping into nothingness.

I’m sorry, Lilly. I really am. I gave everything I had and it still wasn’t enough. I failed you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes dart open to the intense beeping of my alarm clock. I jolt out of my bed and end up falling to the ground, only to find the comfortable carpet of my dorm room instead of the polished marble floors at the airport.

“Hisao! Are you alright? I heard something fall.”
Oh, that sweet, sweet voice. I sit up and see my girlfriend frantically searching the bed for my presence. Suddenly, the events that transpired since the airport incident come flooding back to me. I survived, and I’m home.

“Hisao?!” She worryingly asks once more.

I quickly hop back into the bed take her hand into mine, reassuring her that I am indeed here.
“I’m alright” I give her a kiss on the forehead and gently squeeze her hand to ensure that she’s real. “Everything is fine.” Lilly gives out a relieved sigh and returns my gesture.

What a harsh way to start the morning, but I can’t deny that it did a great job and waking me up. I let go of Lilly’s hand and shut off that demonic beeping that has been taunting me for one minute too long.

“Man, I really ought to get a better alarm clock. I mean geez! your alarm clock isn’t anywhere near that loud and it’s meant for blind people for goodness’ sake!”

Lilly’s following gentle laugh fills my ears like music. I’ve been trying to become more like my pre-arrhythmia self, back when I still had a sense of humor. To hear my girlfriend laugh again after how difficult this past month has been for us is endearing, and that just fills me up with energy for the day ahead.

I stretch around for awhile and let out all the stiffness in my joints. Once I am fully awake, I turn towards Lilly who still looks like she’s only halfway in the world of the living and give her a playful poke in her tummy, inciting a giggle from her.

These past few days have been somewhat of a blur to me, just earlier this week I had my incident at the airport, which has haunted my dreams since then.

All I remember was hitting the ground and embracing oblivion, then waking up in a hospital bed to a sweet melody emanating from a music box, the music box I had given Lilly for her birthday. Even then, I couldn’t believe she was really there until I saw her walk into my room with my own two eyes. The weight of the world coming off my shoulders the moment she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed. Tears were shed, and many promises were made that day.

Promises that neither of us was able to guarantee we could keep. And yet neither of us took them back, because we knew that it didn’t matter whether we could keep them or not.
What matters is that we try to.

The doctors explained to me that I was extremely lucky at the airport. I didn’t suffer from a heart attack that day, just a very strong episode of continuous heart flutters caused by impacts and overexertion. The irregular blood flow caused by the flutters coupled with the physical and mental stress that I was going through at the time caused me to collapse and faint, landing me at the hospital for five days. But what if it hadn’t been just a heart flutter? What if I had suffered a full on heart attack? Even if I was lucky enough to survive yet another, how many years off my lifespan would that have taken away?

What if I had died?

These questions have plagued my mind since I first discovered I had arrhythmia, but after the incident at the airport, they have bounced around my head relentlessly, their echoes getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. Maybe it’s time I did something about them, and so I will pay a visit to the nurse today to ask him some questions that I have been too afraid to ask for months.
Before I do that however, first things first. I make my way over to my desk and pick up a bottle of water, making sure it’s full enough to help me swallow all of my medication. Confirming that everything is in place, I start my daily routine of preparing my drug breakfast.

The menu for today is what it has been for the past 6 months, pills with a side of extra pills, seasoned lightly with some more pills. One by one I start popping the caps for each bottle and begin swallowing.

One, two, three, four…
When I first found out about my arrhythmia, I was told by the doctors that I could still live a long and fruitful life.
five, six, seven, eight, nine…
Is that still the case despite my numerous incidents since that day, or has each flutter taken precious years from me without my knowledge?
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…
Will my efforts prove to have any effect whatsoever on my fate?
fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…
Have I made a promise I can’t keep?
seventeen…

That energetic attitude I had woke up with is gone now, having been slowly suffocated with each swallowed pill.

Seventeen pills, twice a day, seven days a week… that’s 12,410 pills a year. To believe that these miserable capsules are what keep me ticking make me sick.
I feel like Alice in Wonderland, constantly being fed questionable food and beverages that say ‘drink me’, ‘eat me’, ‘swallow me’. Except I can’t refuse.

I’ve been having some serious mood swings these past few days. Ranging from bleak and depressed to cheerful and happy. One part of me is telling me I should celebrate my victory, after all, Lilly is staying in Japan!

Meanwhile, the other side of me keeps constantly reminding me that it’s all pointless. I’ll drop dead by the time I’m thirty if I’m lucky, and all I have done is rope Lilly into a relationship that’s bound to die with me way before I even reach my sunset years. These two sides are constantly at war within me, and I don’t know which to believe.

You can guess which one is winning today, can’t you?

My train of thought is derailed as a pair of arms wrap themselves around me and the warmth of Lilly’s body is pressed against my back.

“You’re rather quiet today, what’s on your mind?” She whispers into my ear as she rests her chin on my shoulder.

As much as I would love to confide my thoughts with her, it would just serve the purpose of worrying her. Furthermore, if today’s talk with the nurse goes well and he gives me the good news that I am hoping for… then all my worries will disappear in the blink of an eye.

“Just mentally preparing for the boring day ahead of me, I still need to ‘take it easy’ for a few more days…” I offer as an excuse. Which is partially true. “I’m not even allowed to go outside of Yamaku until Nurse gives me the clearance for it, which is hopefully today.”

“Weeell, I’m sure we can find something to do that’s fun…” She trails off as she kisses the side of my neck.

Oh?

I turn my head around to see Lilly giving the eyes. She traces her fingertips around my scar and slowly makes her way down my torso.

“I know the past few weeks have been stressful for you. My summon, the exams, the accident at the airport… I’m just glad that it is all over. It feels like forever since we’ve been together like this.

Oh

“Since you have to take things easy, I think I’ll take the lead again this time, ok?”

She whispers as she pulls my body back into the comforts of my bed and I gladly let myself be sucked back into my bedsheets.

We haven’t done this is a few weeks, and even though I am no stranger to her touch, the situation I find myself in makes me just as jittery as the first time we made love.

I can’t form coherent words, so I nod in agreement before I realize that I’ll have to do better than that.
A nervous “y-yeah” Is all I manage to muster right now.

She cups my face in her hands and presses her lips to mine. The kiss leaves my head spinning, shrinking the world down to the size of this room, this bed, this moment. I take one of her hands into mine and lock my fingers to hers, while my other finds her hip.

“Just tell me if things get too heated, ok?” She asks me as she places her palm on my scar.

The optimistic side of me just miraculously got back into the fight.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stand at the Nurse’s doorway, I knock on his already open door to get let my presence be known. “Hey! Sorry for missing my morning appointment. It's just that uhhh… Something came up.” I stare at the ground to avoid him seeing me blush as I give my half-assed excuse

“Ah, Hisao! Welcome welcome, please take a seat. I just need to finish typing up something real quick” The nurse greets me as he extends his invitation towards a chair next to his desk before redirecting his attention back to his computer. I return his greeting and make my way inside, glancing over his computer screen as I pass by him, curious reaction more than priving.
Only for a fraction of a second, I catch a glimpse of my photograph in what looks like a medical file. I wonder what that’s all about.

“Aaand, done! Now back to business.How have you been, Hisao?” He says as he shuts off the computer monitor and spins his chair towards my direction.

“Apart from the occasional near death experience here and there? I’d say I’m doing fine.”

We both share a chuckle at my expense. I’ve grown quite fond of the Nurse over the course of my visits, even going as far as to consider him a friend. Recently I’ve been getting accustomed to having some friendly banter with him during our sessions, not on the same level as Emi and him, but I can safely say that I’m far more comfortable around him than I was before.

It’s definitely easier talking to a friend rather than a generic white coat. Not insinuating that hospital doctors don’t care about their jobs by any means, but there’s something about Nurse that simply puts him on a league of his own. He genuinely seems to care about his patients beyond the boundaries of standard duties.

“Well” He chuckles, “hopefully we will reduce those in the near future. Preferably down to zero.”
He takes a file from the desk behind him and begins browsing through various documents inside.

“Hisao I’m reading the incident reports handed to me by the hospital and they just don’t make any sense. I know you aren’t the most careful guy, given that you have yet to show up for another run in months, but even then…” He tosses the file back onto his desk and leans forward on his chair, staring directly into my eyes, signaling that playtime is over. “...I didn’t picture you as the reckless type. Your actions that day were near suicidal, so please, help me understand what caused this.”

I let out a defeated sigh and go on to explain to him the entire context of the situation, making sure to include every relevant detail. Attempting to keep things from this guy is futile.

He nods as I finish my story and proceeds to stand up without saying a word. He walks over to the bed and pulls the curtain open, inviting me to sit down.

“Well then, let's proceed with the routine, shall we?” He states as he adjusts his stethoscope and waits for me to unbutton my shirt. He goes through the routine steps in robotic motions, not saying anything during the whole process, leaving an undeniable coldness to his actions.
Once he’s done, he begins to jot down on his clipboard, an annoyed expression on his face throughout the whole time.
“That’s it for today, Nakai” is all he says as he finishes the check-up.

Ouch, his reversal back to last names didn’t go unnoticed.

“That’s it? You aren't going to say anything else?”

“What else can I say that you haven’t heard me say a hundred times before? I could lecture you once more on the importance of your diet and exercise regimen, or maybe go into more detail of why you should avoid harsh physical environments when unsupervised? Either way you won’t listen, that much you have proven.” He rubs his temples in an attempt to calm down his frustration.

“Ok fine, I get it, I screwed up. I’m sorry.”

He glances at me and raises one eyebrow. “What are you apologizing to me for? I’m not the one with arrhythmia, Hisao, you are. You should be apologizing to yourself, your parents, your girlfriend. Everyone else with the same condition as you while you’re at it.”

He throws his arms in the air in an act of exasperation before continuing with his rant.

“Do you know how many people are lucky enough to survive a heart attack, Hisao? One in five. You should be grateful that you’re still alive! Furthermore, you hit the jackpot twice by finding out that your type of arrhythmia would still allow you to conduct a semi-normal life. You have everything going for you! You are responding extremely well to your medication, you have recovered faster than most heart attack patients I’ve met before…”

His words open the hatch to all the pent up rage that I’ve been trying to lock away, and all of my emotions come loose. My rationality takes a back seat as the heat of the moment gets the better of me.

“Oh boy, if having a heart attack and finding out I have arrhythmia is hitting the jackpot twice then yay for me right?!” I snap at the nurse without even thinking about the consequences to my actions.

“Hisao, I didn’t mean it that wa-”

“Sorry if I don’t feel grateful that I spent four freaking months in the hospital having to deal with my own mortality. Sorry if I'm not jumping out of joy at the fact that everyone I knew before my heart attack forgot about me as if I had never existed at all! And i’m sorry that I’m not happy with the fact THAT I’M GOING TO DIE!.”


My shouts bounce across the room and I am instantly hit back with the weight of my words. My heart is instantly filled with regret and shame at the way I just acted. The Nurse is frozen in place, dumbfounded by my outburst.

“I’m sor-”
“I’m sor-”
We cut off each other as we both try to apologize at the same time. Silence pollutes the air for a few more seconds before I break it.

“No, I’m the one who should apologize. I… I don’t know what came over me, I know that you didn’t mean to make my predicament sound that like a good thing…It was disrespectful of me to treat you that way when all you’ve done is help me.”

“I admit I could’ve phrased myself better…I think we are both emotionally compromised at this moment, Hisao, what do you say we take a breather and resume our talk once we’ve calmed down?”

“Yeah… Let’s do that.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been nearly fifteen minutes since we sat down to cool off. I know this because the only sound present in the room is the ticking of the clock on the wall, which I’ve been counting all this time in an attempt to distract myself. My head is clear now, but I still can’t bring myself to say the first words. The questions I’ve been meaning to ask him are all at the tip of tongue, all I need is to open my mouth to let them out.

“How long can I live?” I blurt out my first question before I have the chance to chicken out.

“Hmm?” Nurse raises an eyebrow and leans forward, confirming that I have his attention.

“I… meant what I said. How long can I live, if I do everything in my power to remain healthy?”

Nurse furrows his brow and gives his answer careful consideration. He looks up at me once more and analyses my expression.

Just give it to me straight is what my eyes are trying to tell him.

He reads me like a book and proceeds to straighten himself, notifying me that he’s ready to talk.

“Sixty if you maintain a near perfect diet and exercise regimen, including taking your medication every day and night without failure.”

Sixty huh? So that’s where my road ends, nothing after that. I can’t say that I am surprised nor that I was prepared to hear this. It’s… not bad at all actually.

I came in here expecting nothing, but prepared for anything. Sixty is far from the worst case scenario I imagined, but I secretly wished that the answer would be closer to eighty.

“That, however, is assuming that medical advancements remain the same as they are now. Which we both know is impossible. Medicine is being improved every day, accelerating faster and faster with every passing decade.”

He gives me one of his signature ear to ear smiles, while still maintaining his serious tone. I think this is his way of telling me that he’s not being optimistic or trying to comfort me, the good news he’s delivering are fact.

“I have no doubt whatsoever that as more technologies and medicines are developed in your future, that number will keep increasing. To a seventy if we are being realistic, and possibly an eighty is we are being optimistic. It’s bound to happen eventually, some day they will find something that’s able to extend your life, Hisao. Whether it’s new forms of medication or medical treatment, that remains to be seen. Not a matter of if but a matter of when.”

And just like that, the side of me that’s been plaguing me with negative thoughts for ages is knocked out of the ring for good, and I don’t think he’ll be getting back up anytime soon.

“Heh” I snicker as I suddenly feel a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.
“Hahaha!” I start to chuckle as I realize what I’ve just heard. I’m going to grow old.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” I burst into a full laughter that’s fueled by a sense of overwhelming relief. Nurse looks at me as if I’ve finally lost it, and I think I just might have.
I dart from my chair and pull Nurse into a suffocating hug. He hesitates for a moment before returning the gesture, and he too starts laughing with me.

After a solid minute of laughing like maniacs, we finally break hug apart and I retake my seat in front of him.

“Alright, so, about that exercise plan...”


| Next >
Last edited by gibzx on Sun Jul 09, 2017 5:57 am, edited 31 times in total.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Infinite Promises - Chapter 1: Magical Getaway (PART 2)

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:06 am

Act 1: Conjecture

Magical Getaway - part 2

I take a deep breath and tighten my body, bracing myself for what’s to come. A voice in the back of my head whispers me to stop, that there’s no way I can do this and is pointless to try, but I decide to ignore it and carry on.

One. Breathe in, breathe out. Two

My grip tightens, I can feel a slight burning sensation in my body. The voice inside my head whispers me to stop once more, slightly louder this time. I inhale once again.

Three. Breathe in, breathe out. Four

My chest tightens as a small wave of pain surges through me, making the edge of my vision go darker for a split second. “Stop” this time the voice is no longer a whisper, but a stern warning, but I’m not going to quit anytime soon.

Five. Don’t stop now Hisao, you can do this. six

I briefly stop and focus on my heart for a few seconds, making sure that it’s not acting up. I’m exhausted and pushing harder makes the strain on my body more difficult, but that is irrelevant right now. What matters is that my heartbeat is normal, I can keep going.

Seven! Almost there, can’t stop now. Eight!

I grit my teeth and clench my jaw. My pectoral muscles are burning now, the voice tells me to stop once again louder to stop and call it quits, but I won’t have it, I ignore it once more and take a deep breath.

NINE!

My body is begging me to stop now as fire ignites within my chest in a mixture of excruciating pain and adrenaline. “STOP!” the voice shouts at me, I considering hearing its advice for a second, but I quickly dismiss the thought as I realize how close I am now. I dig deep inside me for all the energy I can muster and inhale once more. In one last stretch of strength, I go for the final rep.

TEEEEE-!

SHIT SHIT SHIT. My body suddenly gives out on me and I realize I should’ve listened to my earlier advice, but it’s too late now, there is nothing I can do.

All the strength I have left in me leaves my body and my arms betray me, causing the weight I’m holding to rapidly fall, only to be stopped by a pair of thick metal handrails that are just inches higher than my chest. A safety measured added into the benchpress to prevent injuries. Two large hands appear and wrap themselves around the barbell that currently holds me hostage and effortlessly lifts it off me, placing back the metal stick back onto its hooks.

“Good job Nakai, You almost had it there. However, it’s obvious that you are not ready to bench 50lbs, so we are going to drop back to no plates. I’m sure if you keep this up you’ll be be able to bench it by next week, you are moving faster than most beginners, that's for sure.”

“Thanks, Garu.”

What he says is true, I have been improving, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t even bench more than 25 kilograms. I turn my head around and look that the weight that I struggled to lift, it’s just a standard barbell with two small discs on each side that read ‘2.5kg/ 5lbs’.

That small weight just kicked my ass? How pathetic.

Garu notices my defeated expression and pats me in the back a few times.

“Everyone starts somewhere Nakai, fitness is a long process that requires determination and patience, Rome wasn’t built in a day you know?”

“It’s easy for you to stay motivated when you can bench, well, however much that is” I give a small nod in the direction of his bench press, where a barbell with three plates reading ‘20kgs/45lbs’ sit on each side.

Garu gives a small chuckle “I have over seven years training now, I certainly didn’t start lifting anywhere close to that, and how many times do I need to remind you that when you started training you couldn’t even unhook the barbell without any weights? I already told you, all these thoughts are just excuses we make for ourselves in order to justify quitting, you must ignore them at all costs, Nakai.”

I let out a deep sigh, I guess he is right, I have definitely been improving with every session we have, I’m just bummed out that I left my own body become this weak. I sure regret skipping all those PE lessons while I was at my old high school.

Garu taps me in the shoulder to get my attention and proceeds to pull out a small photo from his wallet. He hands it to me and I flip it over, revealing a young boy that shares a lot of Garu’s features, except for the fact that he is unnaturally skinny.

“That’s me when I started junior high school, this was taken only two years before I started training. Anyone can go from Skeletor to He-man”

Seven years, huh? In the past, that might have seem like a very long time -- Hell, a couple of weeks ago I was doubting whether I would be alive seven years from now -- But now, seven years seem like such a small chunk of my potential life.

“Was that your last set? I can’t remember.”

“Indeed it was”

“Well, that concludes today’s session, see you in a few days Nakai. I’m going to hit the showers, you should do the same, cya!” He says with a big smile on his face as he exits the gym, a hint of sadness lingering underneath his expression as he puts the picture back into his pocket.

“Cya Garu!” I wave him off as I begin pack my own stuff.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I make my way back to the boys dormitory and drop by the dorm bathrooms in order to wash off all the sweat I’m covered with. I turn the shower head to full strength and turn off the heater, the cold streams of water hitting my aching body and relieving it of strain. Under normal circumstances I would prefer my shower at room temperature, but the relentless heat of summer coupled with my hard workout sessions has given me a newfound appreciation for cold showers.

I quickly wash myself, but take extra time to shampoo and condition my hair, Lilly loves ruffling it, so I make sure to keep it extra soft and fluffy just for her.

It has been two weeks since my heart to heart with Nurse, and since then a lot of things have changed. After a long discussion regarding my health, Nurse proposed that I try another alternative to stay fit other than running, that suggestion being lifting. He assured me that it would be safe, as all equipment in Yamaku’s gym was modified to have safety measures included.

He warned me that the coach he would be assigning me took his job very seriously, and that the training be extremely hard by nature, and even moreso given who I was going to train with.

“while I stated that it won’t be dangerous, that doesn’t mean the training is not going to be extremely painful, your trainer will carefully analyze your medical file and find your true limit, and once he does, he will be pushing you near your breaking point, just enough for you to remain safe, but not any less. At least that was what the previous students I assigned him to train said before they quit.” Were his exact words.

I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was too busy feeling like a million bucks after receiving the news that I could still live a long life to care. I blindly accepted to go through with the training, and I have regretted that decision ever since.

The first few days were nothing short of a nightmare. The nurse wasn’t kidding when he said Garu would tread that fine line between extreme workout and torture. It’s a good thing that it’s summer break right now, because those first five days of my training left me barely able to get out of bed, and I’m sure that I would not have been able to drag myself into class.

“The longest anyone has ever lasted under my regimen is one and a half months.” Garu said proudly during our first session. I would soon come to find that he wasn’t exaggerating. The only reason I haven't given up is because I can’t.

I made a promise to stay with Lilly for as long as I could, and I intend to honor that promise.

That’s how I met my new friend and coach, Garu. A half-japanese half-hispanic…
Boy?...
Man?...
Bear?
He’s just 19, but could be easily confused for a 25 year old, measuring over 1.9 meters and already sporting a closed beard that he always forgets to shave, as well as having more hair on his forearms than I do on my entire body. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified when I first met him, carrying around more muscle on him than the top three male track team runners combined.

My worries were quickly dissipated when he greeted me with one of the warmest smiles I’ve ever seen, seeming genuinely excited to have someone else to train with.

After spending so much time around Lilly, who constantly used to hide her real emotions behind her calm and motherly manners. And Hanako, who has over a hundred walls keeping everyone and herself separated, I have picked up the skill of easily recognizing the difference between a genuine smile and a forced one.

I haven’t had much time to get to know him better, he takes his training very seriously and doesn’t speak a word during training hours unless its orders. The only chances I’ve had to talk to him are before and after our workout.

Once I finish showering, I wrap my towel around my waist and make my way towards my room, not bothering to put on any clothes. Yamaku is looking a lot like a ghost town now, with most people gone to spend their summer break with their families. I could have gone to my parent’s for the break, but that would mean leaving Lilly by herself at Yamaku, and quite frankly, living with my beautiful girlfriend without any responsibilities or supervision is a far more attractive option. We could have stayed at the summer house in Hokkaido, but she told me her parents put it up for sale under the idea that she would be leaving for Scotland, and thus had no purpose left.

I open the door to my room and find Lilly sitted on my bed reading a book, my entrance makes enough sound steal her attention.

“Hisao? Is that you?”

“The one and only” I reply as I close the door behind me.

“Hmmmm, is that a new shampoo you are using? Smells wonderful.”

“Yup, coconut vanilla, I thought you might like it.” I say as I sit down on the bed next to her and take her hands into mine, guiding one towards my left cheek and the other to my hair. She starts playing with it and smiles, god I love her smile, my day is now officially 5% better.

“Having a good day so far?” She asks while running her fingers through my hair.

“I’m completely drained. You’d think Garu would go easy on me since i’m just a beginner, but noooo, his workouts keep getting harder and harder every day. I’m starting to suspect Nurse specifically told him to make me suffer as retaliation for my little outburst a few weeks back.”

“Aw you poor thing, are you sure your heart can take it?”

“Yeah, Garu makes me wear a heart rate fitness tracker that’s linked to his own. He constantly checks that my heart isn’t acting up to ensure he’s not pushing me too hard. He makes sure I remain alive so he has the pleasure of torturing me some more during our next session.” I reassure her.

“Well, I’m sure we can find a way to get you to relax…” She mumbles as she take a hold of the back of my head and presses her lips to mine, relieving me of all the tiredness I’m suffering instantly.
she slowly lowers her hands down my neck and onto my chest, gently caressing its shape and running her fingers through the lines of my upper body.

“I can already feel the shape of your chest Hisao, I can tell that your training has been paying off…” She says in a seductive voice. I’m spent from the workout, but I guess I still have some energy left in me…

The new shampoo and me walking in here with just a towel right after my work-out is not a coincidence, over the past few days I thought of things that I could do to become more attractive to Lilly. Since she can’t see, fancy looking clothes or a stylish hairstyle wouldn’t be of much use, so I decided to find ways to stimulate her other senses.I’m trying new shampoos, body soaps and colognes to appeal to her sense of smell.

I also bought feathered pillows and silk bed sheets. They were rather expensive, but she’s worth it, if she is going to be staying in my room almost every night, I have to make sure my bed is of most comfort. Plus, I don’t exactly mind the upgrade myself… they feel like a piece of heaven after a long day of training.

My training, apart of the obvious benefits to my health, has made my muscles stronger, which I can tell she likes feeling, appealing to her sense of touch. I haven't actually gained that much mass since I started training, it's just that due to my lean figure daily training, the small amount of muscle I’ve managed to put on so far is somewhat noticeable.

My seduction methods prove to be successful once again as Lilly sits on my lap, facing me and running her hands along my upper body with growing desire. She takes my chin in her hand once again and gives me a passionate kiss, pushing the back of my head deeper with her other hand. She begins to slowly shift her weight as she leans into me more and more until I lose my balance, landing on my back atop my comfortable bed. Lilly is now on top of me, our faces mere centimeters away from each other with the tip of our noses slightly brushing. Her beautiful blond hair surrounding my vision like a golden waterfall.

I give her a small peck on her lips, then her cheek and her neck before I give a playful nibble to her earlobe. Her breathing becomes stronger as her arms wrap themselves around my neck.

“Hisao?”

“Yes, gorgeous?”

She slowly lifts herself off the bed without letting go of me, once we are sitting upright she takes both my hands into hers and we interlock fingers. She moves my hands towards her collarbone, and placing them on the top button of her pajamas. She guides me through the motions of unbuttoning her pajamas before letting go of my hands. I get the hint.

As I gently unbutton the rest of her top and take it off, she presses her body to mine, eliminating what little space remained between the two of us and whispers into my ear
“I love you”


Those three words are all I need to hear to feel alive


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Last edited by gibzx on Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:01 am, edited 26 times in total.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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emi
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Re: Infinite Promises - Chapter 1: To live forever (PART 2)

Post by emi » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:39 am

There are definitely some things you could work on. I don't have time to list them all but;
gibzx wrote:Part 2

“That’s because a lot of students at Yamaku are not cleared for weightlifting, only a select few students have disabilities that do not interfere with heavy-duty activities. And those who are fit to take on weightlifting are not very interested…”

“... you on the other hand. Lifting would suit you perfectly, developing more mass would certainly protect you better against hard impacts what could trigger another heart attack. Furthermore, weightlifting is easier on the heart than other sports as it focuses more on other muscles rather than cardiovascular endurance, but still gives the heart a good workout.”
When the same person is talking, keep it in the same paragraph.
gibzx wrote:Part 2
Boy?...
Man?...
Gigantic half-bear goliath?...
Try not to use so many line breaks for a single thought process
gibzx wrote:Part 2
After spending so much time around Lilly, who constantly used to hide her real emotions behind her calm and motherly manners, and Hanako, who has over a hundred walls keeping everyone and herself separated, I have picked up the skill of easily recognizing the difference between a genuine smile and a forced one.

I haven’t had much time to get to know him better, he takes his training very seriously and doesn’t speak a word during training hours unless its orders, the only chances I’ve had to talk to him are during our stretching exercises before we begin lifting, during our short five minute break in between our training, and the time it takes him to pack his bag after the work-out before he leaves.
You don't want run on sentences
gibzx wrote:Part 2
That’s not me anymore, I can everything I could ever want
I believe you meant have, not can.

There are more mistakes similar to what I've stated, and I believe it would be easier to read if you didn't repeat them. Apart from that, I don't think you've captured Lilly perfectly, such as her deciding to sleep in and not setting alarms, but your writing isn't too bad.
Emi > Misha > Miki > Suzu > Lilly > Hanako > Rika > Saki > Rin > Shizune
Art: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=10495

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by Mirage_GSM » Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:22 pm

Well, the first thing that stuck out to me was that if I was told to name a training method for Hisao where he was more likely to gruesomely kill himself than weightlifting, I would be coming up blank - except for maybe kickboxing.
Moving on...
very much enjoy the feeling of her fingers running through my head.
That would be quite messy, but luckily she'd probably have trouble craking open his skull :-)
My training, ..., have made me gain some extra muscle mass
"has made me"
making her golden hair glister
"Glister" is either the bastard child of "glitter" and "glisten" or a brand of toothpaste.
It has been 2 weeks since my incident at the airport, and a lot of things have changed.
You might want to rethink your timeline. After the incident at the airport, Hisao got into a hospital, got operated on and had a second operation scheduled for a few days later (to remove the pacemaker). I think he would have to be in hospital for at least two weeks and not be back at Yamaku two days later to start weightlifting and even noticeably improve at it by the time your story starts.
Edit: I see you adressed that a few lines further down. Still only four days in the hospital is cutting it very close, and building up muscle mass after only ten days of training...
He used the pretext that his visits were only to ensure his top student did not fall behind on his science lessons
A flimsy excuse after exams are finished and Holidays have started :lol:

EDIT: Continued...
Lilly seemed reluctant to letting me spend so much time with Emi
"to let me spend"
only a select few students have disabilities that do not interfere with heavy-duty activities.
Just looking at Hisao's class I think the student not cleared for wightlifting would be Ritsu, Akio, Misaki, maybe Naomi - and most of all Hisao...
more hair on his forearms than I do in my entire body.
Probably "on"

All in all the writing is quite good.
As for the story, your Hisao is certainly quite different from the one in Lilly's route, but you've adressed that and it seems to be intentional. Not so sure if I like that Hisao better and if that slavish devotion to Lilly will turn out to be a good thing or if she'll disappoint him again...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Re: Infinite Promises - Chapter 1: To live forever (PART 2)

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 8:14 pm

emi wrote:
gibzx wrote:Part 2
After spending so much time around Lilly, who constantly used to hide her real emotions behind her calm and motherly manners, and Hanako, who has over a hundred walls keeping everyone and herself separated, I have picked up the skill of easily recognizing the difference between a genuine smile and a forced one.

I haven’t had much time to get to know him better, he takes his training very seriously and doesn’t speak a word during training hours unless its orders, the only chances I’ve had to talk to him are during our stretching exercises before we begin lifting, during our short five minute break in between our training, and the time it takes him to pack his bag after the work-out before he leaves.
You don't want run on sentences
thanks for pointing that out, I didn't notice how run on those sentences were until now.
emi wrote:
gibzx wrote:Part 2
That’s not me anymore, I can everything I could ever want
I believe you meant have, not can.
Geez how the hell did I let that one slip by. even after reading it three times to make sure I didn't have any brainfarts in there, that one somehow managed to escape me. :shock:
emi wrote:There are more mistakes similar to what I've stated, and I believe it would be easier to read if you didn't repeat them. Apart from that, I don't think you've captured Lilly perfectly, such as her deciding to sleep in and not setting alarms, but your writing isn't too bad.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll make sure that my next update has less of these mistakes. cheers!
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by gibzx » Fri Jan 20, 2017 8:35 pm

Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, the first thing that stuck out to me was that if I was told to name a training method for Hisao where he was more likely to gruesomely kill himself than weightlifting, I would be coming up blank - except for maybe kickboxing.
I should have specified that the training was focused on muscle hypertrophy, not strength training, which is low-taxing on the heart compared to most sports. I realize that there are probably better options for Hisao, but I'm extremely biased towards lifting because I have been doing it for years, and thought that choosing a topic I knew a lot about would be easier to write about.
Mirage_GSM wrote:
It has been 2 weeks since my incident at the airport, and a lot of things have changed.
You might want to rethink your timeline. After the incident at the airport, Hisao got into a hospital, got operated on and had a second operation scheduled for a few days later (to remove the pacemaker). I think he would have to be in hospital for at least two weeks and not be back at Yamaku two days later to start weightlifting and even noticeably improve at it by the time your story starts.
Edit: I see you adressed that a few lines further down. Still only four days in the hospital is cutting it very close, and building up muscle mass after only ten days of training...
I changed up the story so that Hisao's incident at the airport wasn't a heart attack, but a streak of heavy heart flutters that caused him to faint. I would rather not change the original KS story, but I reaaaaallly want to cover Hisao's and Lilly's summer break together.

As for Hisao's muscle mass, I didn't mean to say that he gained a lot of muscle in just two weeks, it was more that because of his lean figure and hard training, his muscles would swell up for a couple of hours after training, giving him a more strong figure (we call it a pump at the gym, is when an excessive amount of blood fills the muscles can causes it to expand in size considerably, giving someone the appearance that he is much more fit than he actually is for a small period of time). I should have specified this better.

Mirage_GSM wrote:
He used the pretext that his visits were only to ensure his top student did not fall behind on his science lessons
A flimsy excuse after exams are finished and Holidays have started :lol:
Bad pretext indeed :D
Mirage_GSM wrote:
only a select few students have disabilities that do not interfere with heavy-duty activities.
Just looking at Hisao's class I think the student not cleared for wightlifting would be Ritsu, Akio, Misaki, maybe Naomi - and most of all Hisao...
Don't forget Suzu! I dont think a narcoleptic should he lifting heavy blunt objects over her head when she could shut down at any second...
Mirage_GSM wrote:All in all the writing is quite good.
As for the story, your Hisao is certainly quite different from the one in Lilly's route, but you've adressed that and it seems to be intentional. Not so sure if I like that Hisao better and if that slavish devotion to Lilly will turn out to be a good thing or if she'll disappoint him again...
Thanks man! really appreciate that. I already corrected the mistakes you pointed out. As for Hisao's change in character, future updates will tell how his new way of thinking affects those around him and himself.
Thanks again for helping me improve my writing. Cheers!
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by TyronePotato » Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:26 pm

Great read! I'll definitely follow this.
ooooh feels.

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by Jake Zero » Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:10 am

gibzx wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:
only a select few students have disabilities that do not interfere with heavy-duty activities.
Just looking at Hisao's class I think the student not cleared for wightlifting would be Ritsu, Akio, Misaki, maybe Naomi - and most of all Hisao...
Don't forget Suzu! I dont think a narcoleptic should he lifting heavy blunt objects over her head when she could shut down at any second...
While, yes, she can have unexpected episodes, they aren't instant crashes like epileptics like me. Narcolepsy takes time for the episode to happen and even the person itself may be aware of it happening but can't control it. More than likely, she'd carefully put it down, then crash. If I had an unexpected episode, then, yeah, doing something like that would definitely do me more harm than good as I would have a permanent injury left on my head, much less be living. Suzu? Not likely. The closest thing I ever had to a narcoleptic seizure I had was during middle school where I was so tired that I fell asleep on my book and no one woke me up. Not even my Special Educations teacher. That would be more likely for Suzu.

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by gibzx » Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:51 am

Jake Zero wrote: While, yes, she can have unexpected episodes, they aren't instant crashes like epileptics like me. Narcolepsy takes time for the episode to happen and even the person itself may be aware of it happening but can't control it. More than likely, she'd carefully put it down, then crash. If I had an unexpected episode, then, yeah, doing something like that would definitely do me more harm than good as I would have a permanent injury left on my head, much less be living. Suzu? Not likely. The closest thing I ever had to a narcoleptic seizure I had was during middle school where I was so tired that I fell asleep on my book and no one woke me up. Not even my Special Educations teacher. That would be more likely for Suzu.
I'm not very sure about how narcolepsy works, so thanks for the info! It will come in handy if I ever write anything with suzu in it...

I was just following what Scissorlips described in his Suzu pseudo-pseudo route. He describes Suzu's condition as sometimes having warning signs of an upcoming episode, where she can brace herself and find a comfortable place to lay down, but in some rare occasions, she just completely blacks out without any warning.
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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:21 am

What Jake said.
Scissorlips' Suzu story was often critizised for depicting the Hollywood kind of narcolepsy that hasn't much basis in reality.
Real-life narcoleptics will be on some kind of medication that will control their condition to some degree (and Suzu would be as well).

I should have specified that the training was focused on muscle hypertrophy, not strength training, which is low-taxing on the heart compared to most sports.
I should have specified that the taxation of the heart was not really what I meant (though the reaction of his heart from four to six seem to suggest that this as well is a serious problem).
The problem I meant is that he is lifting heavy objects above his chest and a single slip-up would probably be fatal.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by gibzx » Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:41 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:What Jake said.
Scissorlips' Suzu story was often critizised for depicting the Hollywood kind of narcolepsy that hasn't much basis in reality.
Real-life narcoleptics will be on some kind of medication that will control their condition to some degree (and Suzu would be as well).
Wow never would have guessed, the way he writes about it with so much detail convinced me that that was the real deal. It's a good reminder that I should probably look further into the disabilities of the characters I am writing about, thanks for pointing that out.
Mirage_GSM wrote: I should have specified that the taxation of the heart was not really what I meant (though the reaction of his heart from four to six seem to suggest that this as well is a serious problem).
The problem I meant is that he is lifting heavy objects above his chest and a single slip-up would probably be fatal.
I won't spoil much, but his new 'I am the king of the world" attitude you noticed earlier ties in with his reckless behavior at the gym and the consequences it might bring in the near future, such as pushing for six reps when his body warned him to stop at four. But you are correct, I should probably remove exercises that involve holding heavy objects over his chest, Hisao's trainer wouldn't allow him to do that after reading his file. After all, there are still many other machines at the gym that remove the risk of chest trauma like the chest press and cable machine.
"You are a beautiful person, Hisao. Please, never apologize for that."--Lilly

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Re: Infinite Promises - A Lilly Route Epilogue [updated 1/20

Post by Eurobeatjester » Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:49 am

Got around to reading this! Cute story - interested to see where it goes. :)

I can't add much to the discussion on grammar and spelling that hasn't been pointed out already - there's a few typos here and there, and some of the sentences do tend to run on, but overall the concept is there. It can sometimes help to split sentences up entirely, or use different ways to join them besides just commas. Some of the sentences read like the commas are just a substitute for periods.

As mirage pointed out and you already responded to, research is really important when writing, especially with characters with disabilities. You have to be as familiar with a condition or disability as the character you're writing is, or it can be hard to write the character convincingly.

That doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't take some creative liberties for the sake of the plot! There are plenty of these in Katawa Shoujo. But any creative liberties need to be feasible.

Here's an example. In your story Hisao is weightlifting. That's probably not the first thing someone with a heart condition would use for therapy, but I can see it happening as a way of gaining strength.

What isn't feasible though is Hisao bench pressing. Healthy weightlifters crack ribs and injure themselves all the time if they accidentally drop the bar. If he drops the bar on his chest, there's a very real chance he could die. It's pretty unlikely that Hisao would take that risk, or that anyone who was helping him train by spotting him would let him take that risk.

I think it's entirely possible that he could train and be able to bench that much, but it would be much better if he used a chest press machine. Hope that made sense :)

Keep up the good work! Looking forward to the next installment :)
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
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