Tactility - A Parallel Universe Fanfiction

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Rune
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Tactility - A Parallel Universe Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 2:04 am

This story isn't as AU as "A Parallel Universe" sounds; everything is the same except for a single character, Hisao, who. rather than suffering from a sudden onset of arrhythmia, has been dealing with a unique disease since near birth. The ramifications of this single change will eventually spread to affect everyone he's ever known.

What is this condition?

"I’m losing tactile sensation, and have been losing it ever since I was a child. Temperature and texture are nearly foreign concepts to me. All there is left is the slight pressure that indicates that I’m touching something, and nothing more."

Summary:

"A Hisao infinitely more accustomed to being crippled would certainly be able to make more friends, even if that's not his intention at first."

This will radically change what was previously a very neutral character.

If this interests you, here is the link to my Fanfiction for it:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11774616/1 ... Fanfiction

Oh, and, you can assume that swearing, drugs/alcohol, sex, and violence may at some point appear within the story. I will post warnings when something particularly graphic comes up...but we're all theoretically 18+. so I don't anticipate problems.

//

5/12: What I'm going to do, rather than revise all my characters, is create a single introduction chapter to Act 2 here. In it I will summarize all of the important Act 1 differences from canon, and then the next chapter posted on here would be Act 2. Considering the time difference between Chapter 1 and Chapter 26 to be well over a year, the writing should be a good deal better, and there is also basically zero canon script reliance at that point, though I use it to direct where the story goes and line up the timelines so that I can maintain continuity.

----

[Update] Tactility: A Katawa Shoujo Points-Of-Divergence Fanfiction.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11774616/1 ... Fanfiction

No one knows what's wrong with me yet. I just...am, a special case among the special cases, and all we've discovered about my condition is that stress worsens it. That's why I've been sent to Yamaku Academy, to be forgotten. / A Hisao infinitely more accustomed to being crippled would certainly be able to make more friends, even if that's not his intention.

Act 1: Quality of Life

Arc 1: Explore

1- Spitfire: When meeting for the first time, you should be polite and respectful.
2- Tempered: Learning to make friends again is easier said than done.
3- Entropy: Things can get crazy sometimes. That's how the world works.
4- Denial: Denial is the first stage of accepting loss.
5- Evolution: It's okay to change.
6- Competition: Not everything's a competition. Sometimes it's okay to lose.
7- Risk: You should only take the risks that aren't likely to hurt others.
8- Breathlessly: You should stop to sit down once in a while.
9- Mistakes: Be careful about what you do around other people. You never know what you will give away.
10- Feeling: Wouldn't it be nice to stop and watch the world once in a while?

Arc 2: Pulse

11- Out of the Loop: Sometimes things don't go as planned.
12- Spontaneity: People don't always stick to the patterns.
13- Distraction: Sometimes you forget to do what you must.
14- (Dis)advantage: Taking advantage of someone else's blindness is very impolite.
15- Problem Solving: Sometimes the best way to solve something is to ignore it.
16- Memories: It's better to focus on making memories rather than watching the ones you have slip away.
17- Misstep: Be careful about how much you push yourself.

Arc 3: Learn

18- Repair: Two steps forward, one step back.
19- Amends: Spend more time forgiving than you do being angry.
20- On The Road: The journey is often as important as the destination.
21- Generosity: One kind act might not seem like much at first.
22- Relationship: Knowing how to give and take is very important.
23- Celebration: A true artist paints not with a brush, but with ideas.
24- Practice: A friendly game reveals a lot about a person.
25-Moving Forward: Sometimes it's best to leave the past behind.

Act 2: Proprioception

Arc 4: New Beginnings

26- Awareness: It helps to understand the people you work with.
27- Relapse: Hold on to your strength.
28- Friendship: It all starts at the dinner table, doesn't it?
29- Hope: Keep on pushing, even when things look bleak.
30- Chess: You learn a lot about yourself when you're pressed to the limit.

//

https://app.plotist.com/timelines/57195 ... 0300582e7c

A Timeline for Tactility!

Quick legend:
Shizune
Lilly
Rin
Emi
Hanako
Hisao
Star: Introduction to Character
Heart: Friendship/Romantic moment
Lightning: Setback
Key: Trust Milestone
Gender Symbols: Important romantic development moment
Open lock: Critical relationship development
Last edited by Rune on Thu May 12, 2016 10:51 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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brythain
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by brythain » Sun May 08, 2016 3:05 am

Hi there, and welcome to these forums. Looks interesting, and the timeline is much appreciated.

Generally, however, we do like to see the text over here... :)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun May 08, 2016 4:00 am

Hello from me as well.

First of all, yes Proprioception Deficit Disorder, though very rare, does exist, but it's not quite what you described in your initial post. I've used a character with Proprioception Deficit Disorder in one of my stories, if you're interested. What you described sounds more like Hypoesthesia.
Frankly, I don't think it's a good sign that you apparently wrote a whole lot of story without even googling the disability of your main character...

Second thing I wondered: Why is your character called Hisao? He has a different disability, a different personality, a different background, a different reason to be at Yamaku... So what is there about him that is LIKE Hisao that justifies them being the same person?

All in all I don't think that I'll go over to FF.net to read this story, but if you post it here, I'll gladly give you more feedback.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 7:24 am

Mirage_GSM wrote:Hello from me as well.

First of all, yes Proprioception Deficit Disorder, though very rare, does exist, but it's not quite what you described in your initial post. I've used a character with Proprioception Deficit Disorder in one of my stories, if you're interested. What you described sounds more like Hypoesthesia.
Frankly, I don't think it's a good sign that you apparently wrote a whole lot of story without even googling the disability of your main character...[1]

Second thing I wondered: Why is your character called Hisao? He has a different disability, a different personality, a different background, a different reason to be at Yamaku... So what is there about him that is LIKE Hisao that justifies them being the same person?[2]

All in all I don't think that I'll go over to FF.net to read this story, but if you post it here, I'll gladly give you more feedback.
[3]
[1] - Yeah, I glanced over both of those during my preliminary research. As far as I know nothing fits; the former is pretty close, but...Hisao still definitely has proprioception. (Yeah, my naming for it is just as bad all things considered, but until I figure out something more appropriate, it's going to stick.) Your story seems quite interesting, and I'll probably continue reading it when it's not so late.

[2] - It's AU. And yes, I know that isn't a blanket excuse for having OOC characters; but, functionally, this is still Hisao. The only true difference is that he's, well, a little more damaged, particularly emotionally. And yes, for those to exist in the way I want it to he has to have a different background. (That being said, all four of the "differences" you noted are linked to him having a different disability. Everything, EVERYTHING, stems from there. This is very specifically a point-of-divergence fanfiction, the very first of which is his diagnosis.)

[3]I'll probably wind up doing this at some point. I'll need to edit the earlier chapters before I'd move it to here, though.

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 7:25 am

brythain wrote:Hi there, and welcome to these forums. Looks interesting, and the timeline is much appreciated.[1]

Generally, however, we do like to see the text over here... :)[2]
[1]Thank you! I've been toying with the idea of moving on here for a while, now.

[2]I'll start the process probably sometime tomorrow. Probably a chapter every day until it catches up to FF.Net.

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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Mirage_GSM » Sun May 08, 2016 12:30 pm

...functionally, this is still Hisao....This is very specifically a point-of-divergence fanfiction, the very first of which is his diagnosis.
The question I asked was what about your character is the same as Hisao. If the answer to that quesition is "the name" then you haven't written a divergence fic, you've written an OC that is coincidentally named Hisao. (Note that that in itself is not neccessarily a bad thing.)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.

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Leaty
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Leaty » Sun May 08, 2016 12:39 pm

I agree with Mirage—this is an alternate timeline fic, not a point of divergence fic.

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 7:42 pm

Leaty wrote:I agree with Mirage—this is an alternate timeline fic, not a point of divergence fic.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... Divergence

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... teTimeline

I think the former fits much better. Or even:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... antOfANail

*shrug*
Mirage_GSM wrote:
...functionally, this is still Hisao....This is very specifically a point-of-divergence fanfiction, the very first of which is his diagnosis.
The question I asked was what about your character is the same as Hisao. If the answer to that quesition is "the name" then you haven't written a divergence fic, you've written an OC that is coincidentally named Hisao. (Note that that in itself is not neccessarily a bad thing.)
Basic hobbies are the same: chess, reading, though note that soccer isn't going to be something he would ever have tried (all intensive physical activity is somewhat discouraged due to the intense risks of congenital analgesia) because the first two are both fairly isolated activities. In fact, his isolation (caused primarily by a more negative outlook in life (which is in turn caused by some of the events that have happened as a result of a different condition at a different time)) isn't even altogether too different from pre-festival canon Hisao, where he's troubled by his condition and tries to fit in. This Hisao shares those traits, even though he's dealt with them longer.

Let's use http://katawashoujo.wikia.com/wiki/Hisao_Nakai as our source. Similarities:

-Hisao is overall a good, kind-hearted person
-his good intentions can get him into trouble
-Hisao is also a follower, not particularly strong-willed, but not necessarily weak either.
-but he also needs a sense of stability, or at least a very clear direction as of where he's going. <<<<<
-Hisao is very skilled at science, and also enjoys reading
-He's very much a 'math brain', and has trouble grasping things that are extremely abstract and 'illogical' in nature ( slightly diluted, considering that he has had more time to adjust)

There's a lot of other personality similarities that the source doesn't consider, particularly his cynical humor and difficulties in saying no, and a tendency to go with the flow. All of these traits are shared with my Hisao (and there are more that I'm missing, but I think my point has been made.) A lot of this story is comparing the canon Hisao to Tactility's Hisao and seeing how x event has made him change, and how they will grow as characters throughout their story.

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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Leaty » Sun May 08, 2016 8:07 pm

Well, do also keep in mind that TVTropes is not an authoritative document. The fact of the matter is that if Hisao, and several past events, have been changed drastically prior to the beginning of the story proper, that's not a point of divergence—there's no single decision or event that causes the timeline to branch off from canon to the scenario depicted here. It's not a nail that's missing, it's a box of nails. (Meaning "Points-Of-Divergence" is technically accurate, but misleading.)

"AU" is really the best term for it, though I admit the greater fanfiction community has seized that phrase to mean "fic where the two characters I want to ship have a totally different backstory and work in a Starbucks".

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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by brythain » Sun May 08, 2016 8:36 pm

Leaty wrote:Well, do also keep in mind that TVTropes is not an authoritative document. The fact of the matter is that if Hisao, and several past events, have been changed drastically prior to the beginning of the story proper, that's not a point of divergence—there's no single decision or event that causes the timeline to branch off from canon to the scenario depicted here. It's not a nail that's missing, it's a box of nails. (Meaning "Points-Of-Divergence" is technically accurate, but misleading.)

"AU" is really the best term for it, though I admit the greater fanfiction community has seized that phrase to mean "fic where the two characters I want to ship have a totally different backstory and work in a Starbucks".
Haha, you're as witty as always. But as a community we can come up with new stuff. In that vein, I propose that it's a 'Different Hisao' story. It's not an event that's been changed (hence not divergence) but a person (hence AU), unless one insists that a specific event is linked to his being Numb. So... 'Different Hisao AU'.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 10:34 pm

Leaty wrote:Well, do also keep in mind that TVTropes is not an authoritative document. The fact of the matter is that if Hisao, and several past events, have been changed drastically prior to the beginning of the story proper, that's not a point of divergence—there's no single decision or event that causes the timeline to branch off from canon to the scenario depicted here. It's not a nail that's missing, it's a box of nails. (Meaning "Points-Of-Divergence" is technically accurate, but misleading.)

"AU" is really the best term for it, though I admit the greater fanfiction community has seized that phrase to mean "fic where the two characters I want to ship have a totally different backstory and work in a Starbucks".
On considering this I am stripping the "AU" out of the title.

I don't really like any of the alternatives provided as of date so for now I'm probably going to keep it as "Points of Divergence" until I or someone else comes up with something more accurate.

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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by brythain » Sun May 08, 2016 10:48 pm

Rune wrote:I don't really like any of the alternatives provided as of date so for now I'm probably going to keep it as "Points of Divergence" until I or someone else comes up with something more accurate.
'Parallel Universe Fanfic works.' You have a Hisao who is fundamentally different in the sense that his medical condition leads to completely different physical concerns and somewhat different psychological state. He looks the same etc, but he is -not- the same, of course. He doesn't diverge from the original—he is not the original because from the time he was engendered, he had a different future mapped out—he would never have had the same genetic life because divergence was likely at the point a different spermatozoon encountered his mother's egg.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Points-Of-Divergence AU Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Sun May 08, 2016 11:44 pm

brythain wrote:
Rune wrote:I don't really like any of the alternatives provided as of date so for now I'm probably going to keep it as "Points of Divergence" until I or someone else comes up with something more accurate.
'Parallel Universe Fanfic works.' You have a Hisao who is fundamentally different in the sense that his medical condition leads to completely different physical concerns and somewhat different psychological state. He looks the same etc, but he is -not- the same, of course. He doesn't diverge from the original—he is not the original because from the time he was engendered, he had a different future mapped out—he would never have had the same genetic life because divergence was likely at the point a different spermatozoon encountered his mother's egg.
I like that. Yes. That works. Switching. Thank you.

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Re: Tactility - A Parallel Universe Fanfiction

Post by Oddball » Mon May 09, 2016 6:47 pm

I've always preferred using comicbook terms myself.

A What if? is the same basic universe except something different happened. "What if Hisao didn't show up that day to meet Iwanako?"

An Elseworlds is the same basic characters, except ina different time or setting. Hisao is still Hisao, Hanako is still Hanako, except they're in France in the 1500s.

Anything else just falls under the category of "alternate reality" (granted those two above are alternate realities, but they have their own terms.) Here you can have Hisao be Meiko's kid, and they're in space living with a blind blonde haired foreigner that's actually a guy named Akira.


I tend to avoid the third myself whenever possible.
Not Dead Yet

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Rune
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Re: Tactility - A Parallel Universe Fanfiction

Post by Rune » Mon May 09, 2016 10:49 pm

Oddball wrote:I've always preferred using comicbook terms myself.

A What if? is the same basic universe except something different happened. "What if Hisao didn't show up that day to meet Iwanako?"

An Elseworlds is the same basic characters, except ina different time or setting. Hisao is still Hisao, Hanako is still Hanako, except they're in France in the 1500s.

Anything else just falls under the category of "alternate reality" (granted those two above are alternate realities, but they have their own terms.) Here you can have Hisao be Meiko's kid, and they're in space living with a blind blonde haired foreigner that's actually a guy named Akira.


I tend to avoid the third myself whenever possible.
That's why I'm avoiding using AU terms.

...Ultimately Hisao's backstory will be developed so that people see how and why he's different because of an earlier and more invasive condition. I think the biggest issue for people right now is that I don't start way back then, I start just slightly after Canon Act 1 begins, and they see all these changes to the character to the point where they don't recognize him as easily as they should.

I'm not sure how I'm going to rectify that. I'll probably wind up expanding C1 to include flashbacks, but that doesn't do - enough - to show the character changing. There's little character development I can do right at the start if I want to keep the story starting where I have, but it seems that people want me to have started all the way where his condition is revealed right back into his childhood.

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